Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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Romson says:
@brian A, yes of course, but today i saw a couple good indonesia families made me feel good. GO INDONESIA!!!
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deta says:
…as you can see all the girls who post their comment here that is the rest, wanna be like artist superstars,???
I don’t know, Balin, but I enjoy reading every comment here, whether it is from male or female, superstar wannabe or loser wannabe, in many cases I even ended up learning something.
Just because people have an opinion and stick to it by debating others who have different opinions wouldn’t suddenly make them “wanna be like artist superstars”.
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ade says:
I am looking for bule hubby for future…I LL do follow him all in the world..because my job permit that…I am 26 years old……
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ET says:
I am looking for bule hubby for future…I LL do follow him all in the world..because my job permit that…I am 26 years old……
I wonder what job this might be.
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FonnyDivaMermaid says:
Maybe she meant to say that her job is “a good wife” ? lol
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balin says:
be sure not to find the girls in the club or night life hang out, be sure not to date material oriented girls, but 99% you will date them and end up marrying them LOL, why cause you might one the male version, it suits.
its still noon, got no vodka,, so i will post with clear mind but still got the inappropriate grammar he he and for sobhana im sorry if my comment offended you, but darlin in my life i dont find words hurts people only baseball bat .., nowadays its like competition where Indonesian girls races to date bule, post in expart adds.” hey im santi(sorry bout the name its just example) from indonesia if you looking for a companion, for bla bla … etc etc do contact me here is my YM” dude this is sick, see like this one (I am looking for bule hubby for future…I LL do follow him all in the world..because my job permit that…I am 26 years old……) dude this girl looking for companion just like looking for a job, might put her CV also might help.Is it indonesian male are not good enough? qualified? where is this thinking came from actually?, to much movies?, lag of education support?
LOL good wife is a job.. means her get to be paid right?… man what went wrong with you girls
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Laurence says:
Off to Jakarta next week to hopefully meet some new friends.
Staying in South Jakarta so anyone want to meet for kopi, pm me.
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venna says:
Poor little Ade. You should read the previous posts before posting yours. Now you’re vulnerable and become an easy target.
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eeeee?? easy target. this aint no Hallo 3 game sis, load ur guns aim and fire.. what so poor about ade anyways she will be rich in a few days from now..
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brian A says:
@ B a l i n
dude this girl looking for companion just like looking for a job, might put her CV also might help.Is it indonesian male are not good enough? qualified? where is this thinking came from actually?, to much movies?, lag of education support?
yeh its the same I think if you start giving your Indo GF money when your a boyfriend overseas (not that I have), but when I stayed with some girls in Bali who had American boyfriends sending them money .. it was like he was the boss .. if he called her then she MUST answer, else she is in trouble. By the boyfriend doing this it has made their relationship awkward. Because if she doesnt talk to him, then he will stop sending money and if she doesnt answer the boyfriend will get confused, suspicious and angry.
~
@ A d eI am looking for bule hubby for future…I LL do follow him all in the world..because my job permit that…I am 26 years old……
wow~ are you happy with any bule man, any shape or size? How many Pm’s do you have from desperate sad bule men who will not treat you with the care and flattering you desreve.
Are you excited to have J!GGY J!G with dirty bule man, is that what you are prepared to do? good luck 🙂 -
im forever blowing BUBBLES ,, pretty BUBBLES in the air
they fly so high nearly reach the sky..then like my dreams they fade and dieFORTUNE always hiding , ive looked EVERYWHERE
im forever blowing BUBBLES
pretty BUBBLES in the air
cheers ade i sing this for you… -
Bobby says:
Hey guys
I’m a bule as they say here in indonesia and im not that handsome and probably not the best lover and ive been dating a local here for some time. She seems so MADLY in love with me that it just seems unrealistic in my opinion because i dont really have that much to offer her in respect to love, money, happy relationship all the time, etc things like that and i was just thinking after we went out tonight that how can someone like her love me to that extreme. The reason im a bit skeptical about our relationship is because she always tells me she loves me, im her only one, she will never leave me, she cant live without me, and sometimes just a full 2 pages of sms just saying I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU and its a bit farfetched because im not THAT special trust me ive dont some things im not proud of in the past and it has effected my personality but thats not important. Also other things like the way that if she “thinks’ that ill get annoyed or angry at her about anything she will back down and do whatever i want and ive kind of tested this theory and the results are all the same. THere is no way that she can love me to this extreme and im having big suspicions that shes got some master plan brewing behind my back. Ive heard alot of stories of local girls “falling in love” with a bule to get a green card and their money and whatnot and im seriously thinking thats happening to me. Now i wouldnt really be bothered with this but why would she continue this game if she knows that i know whats going on? Does anyone have any tips or clues i could try to find out the truth because i do like this girl but to me its not that serious as she acts it out to be. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated
BOBBY
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Max says:
I once was interested in a girl (a nine) who was playing hard to get but I kept pursuing regardless. Then when she agreed to meet she threw in “I think I should tell you I have a boyfriend now, I can understand if you don’t want to meet me.”. I said “Congratulations on finding a bf, I’m still happy to meet you.” So we met for a date she agreed to (happened to be the same day her bf left town for 11 days) and I asked her if I could see her again in 11 days which she agreed. I contacted her 11 days later and she didn’t reply. A few weeks later I emailed her to say hi. She enjoyed flirting with me and saying how she was not doing much, just “hanging out” with her boyfriend and stuff. She wanted to see me again and wanted to know if I was free on a certain date. I emailed her with “Sure I am free then, but I think I should let you know I have a girlfriend now. I am still happy to meet with you but I understand if you don’t want to.” I never heard back from her. I suppose she just couldn’t handle it.
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sobhana says:
smart girl
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I suppose women like this think it is okay for themselves to cheat but not okay for men. Sob calls them “smart”. I call them unfaithful sluts.
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no worries but next time you be the pitcher, i be the catcher 😉
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your italian stallion may have to strike out if that’s the case
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@ Bobby
The truth is that you are spot on with your suspicions. Obviously if you are interested in real love, you are gonna have to be straight with her and tell her you are not buying it. But let me warn you she will have an answer for everything and her devotion (lies) will only intensify but your best option will be to keep fanning those flames with more protests for realness. Shoot her sickening “love talk” down with insults and get back into your comfort zone. Be true to yourself and don’t be pressured by her into returning her bullshit. She’s going to stick to her guns and won’t back down and will deny anything you suspect. She will keep at you like a taxi driver at the airport. Don’t be hounded into her cab before you get a chance to check out the whole rank. Tell her that you don’t love her, she’s not your only one, you can live without her and will probably leave her, and even text her a full two words like F$@% OFF. She will be back at you to defend her fragile innocence. Don’t believe it. She’s not innocent. She’s conniving. Don’t believe her love jargon. That is just standard practice for her. I bet she says that to ALL the bules.
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timdog says:
Bobby – the first, and most fundamental question for you would be, and I don’t mean to be harsh – where did you meet this girl, what is her background, and what is her job?
If the answers go one way, then you might possibly have reason to be suspicious (but by no means certainly).
If the answers go the other way, then you are just looking at standard all-out-in-love-I’m-going-to marry-this-guy-no-matter-how-unsuitable-he-is behaviour, which, it seems to me, is why so many girls in Indonesia so often get totally screwed over by “I thought he was the one” guys who any fool could see was an A**hole (and I mean Indonesian guys, not bules, 99% of the time, though the same chronic lack of judgment applies whoever they are dating).
As for yourself, self-awareness is certainly healthy, but then so is self-confidence. Learn to love yourself, brother…
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Oigal says:
Learn to love yourself, brother
A little yoga might be advised as well to prevent serious injury following TIMDOGS advice..
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🙂
Well, that’s true…But seriously, if “Bobby” is as he says he is, then it would be an awful shame if his own self-doubt, and the “advice” of various cynics whose experience of “women” is limited to dating bar girls saw him succumb to paranoia that may well be entirely misplaced. And then, somewhere in some suburban bedroom somewhere in Indonesia there would be another cutesy girl sobbing her heart out over a mobile phone that cost her a month’s salary to a friend – “He was the one! I was going to marry him!”
Another reason that this is a fairly ugly thread.
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Therein lies the trouble Timdog, this is indeed an ugly thread. What is forgotten for every sad parody there are probably twice as many happy endings out there. Those are the people you don’t see or hear about so much, dare I say… :-).
Thats not to say there is not a place for the bar streets and fun zones.
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Loving oneself, yoga position, possible (back) injury…. Hmm. That sounds kinky.
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Nay says:
this girl looking for companion just like looking for a job, might put her CV also might help.Is it indonesian male are not good enough? qualified?
You’ve got it in one there.
This is why marriages fail. Women treat wifely duties as a career, where the man is the boss who pays her wage. As soon as the working conditions get too tough, or a better job comes along, … the woman is gone.
So the rule is, don’t spend money on women and treat them like objects you can purchase and control. You can’t.
… and they’ll only let you think that you can in order to drain your pocket. In essence, being a wife is no different to high-class prostitution.Once both men and women realise that having a family together isn’t a game of capitalism, it tends to work a lot better.
because she always tells me she loves me, im her only one, she will never leave me, she cant live without me, and sometimes just a full 2 pages of sms just saying I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU and its a bit farfetched
It’s also too much. The whole “can’t live without you” stuff is pure nonsense. Really, that’s far fetched because any woman can have any man she wants at any moment. Without you, it’d take her a whole week to find a new boyfriend… or even less.
It’s happened to me numerous times,I once was interested in a girl (a nine) who was playing hard to get but I kept pursuing regardless.
Two critical mistakes there….
Firstly, difficult women remain difficult. They don’t change. You can’t change them. Forget them. Delete contact details and forget them. If you feel that you are being manipulated… 9 times out of 10, you ARE.
Secondly, don’t bother chasing women. Let her know you’re interested, and create opportunities for her to chase you…. but don’t chase her if there’s no response from her, or weak excuses. It just shows a lack of interest on her part, and you’ll just waste your time trying to track her down…. time better spent on meeting other women.
The most powerful thing a man can do to regain control over women like this is to seriously drop all contact with them and meet other women. Completely sidestep their trap, and let some other sucker fall into it. Your sanity is worth more than any one woman. Does it suck that she was a hottie? YES. It’s hugely disappointing,… but that’s life. Happens to us all.
NEXT!
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i was just thinking after we went out tonight that how can someone like her love me to that extreme
because she sees you as easy prey. she’s not interested in your qualities…except the one like green card. You are “the one” in that regard. If she ends up dumping you after she gets what she wants from you, your confidence may plummet into free fall. Don’t let others place doubt in front of your own gut instincts.
because im not THAT special trust me ive done some things im not proud of in the past and it has effected my personality but thats not important.
you know yourself better than anyone. I trust you on that. I can tell that you already are confident and not delusional. It takes confidence to accept your errors and face the reality. Nothing can erase the bad experiences of the past. But the last thing you need is to be used and humiliated by this girl which will in effect supply your emotional hurt space with a fresh wound. You be the decider of whether YOU feel in love or not. These pressure tactics being played on you are universal to women.
to me its not that serious as she acts it out to be.
SHE ACTS IT OUT! Take Nays advice and go after someone else, the girls you really feel it for. Aim for the sky and you may at least reach the top of the trees, not caught in some F’n thorn bush somewhere.
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Max said
“Sure I am free then, but I think I should let you know I have a girlfriend now. I am still happy to meet with you but I understand if you don’t want to.” I never heard back from her. I suppose she just couldn’t handle it.
Splendid. That’s the way to handle it. Don’t get mad, get even. Ctrl+Alt+Del.
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Oh Bobby, I hope you can handle all the wise advices from your seniors here in IM relationship school. No guarantee that they have been successfully applying it, though. *Run!*
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Have confidence Bobby. Deta is right, of course we are all captivated by the beautiful women, even other women are, but don’t run. No. Don’t do what she says. Don’t be scared of her and don’t judge a girl’s beauty until you have seen all of her, and I mean everything. Then make a decision.
Yes we are in a school, us guys. Just like in nature, the sperms swim in a school toward the passive egg (although it took her a long time to get ready). It is really the woman who stands alone, attractive yes… but not for long… her time in the spotlight soon passes. Although it can seem like an eternity in the sunshine for her, she is totally stressed by the biological clock ticking. For guys there are different schools of thought. Just like when scientists study two different men’s sperm mixed together under a powerful microspcope, they will see the two men’s sperms fighting each other! There are individuals within groups, groups within packs, and packs within tribes. The egg only lets in one.
My advice, be focussed on the one you want and keep the pressure on. Don’t relieve yourself of that pressure if you know what I mean. Before you know it you will have a breakthrough and a whole new world will open up for you. Her world will be yours. You must conquer the woman with your sexual force. Save it all for her. You will need all the power you can muster to be the tribal chief who gets what he wants and magnetises the girl’s insides so all she knows how to do is jelly coat your scepter and give you free reign in her world. (Picture breathtaking scenery of crisp mountain peaks, beautiful valleys and sparkling streams. Any sign of falling rocks, frothing water pollution or stenching dirty air, then get the hell outa there. As Nay said..NEXT!)
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My advice, be focussed on the one you want and keep the pressure on.
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You must conquer the woman with your sexual force. Save it all for her.I respectfully disagree with you here.
It’s a popular myth that a man chases and picks a woman…. but the biological reality is that women choose men. They make the final decision on sex, and their method of seduction is carefully disguised to make it look as if the man had a choice and was in control all along.
If the opposite were true… rape wouldn’t be a crime. It would be more or less normal.Fact is, any man will have sex with any woman who makes herself available…. regardless of what the woman looks like for the most part … if he can get away with it.
That’s doubly true when a woman is nearing her monthly period. She gets in heat and has to fertilize that egg. To facilitate this, her standards drop, and she stops worrying about how rich, respectable, the man she wants is… and she hooks up with just about any man making himself available for sex (and this is when the playboy shows up). So in my opinion, a woman deliberately using a man for money only really occurs outside her own mating period, when she’s not looking for sex! But wait a minute…. why would she do this? Maybe because she wants some sucker male to spend resources on her to look after the baby… that isn’t even his!
“Conquering” a woman serves no purpose only than to frustrate yourself, burning up your own energy. Ideally you want the woman to be chasing you, calling you up, and being sexually available… without you having to lift much of a finger. The best you can hope to achieve is to make it easy for a woman who wants you to come and get you…. to do just that while not being so overt to make it look like she’s having to make the decision herself (when she is, in reality).
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But some of those girls do fit in balin’s description of “artist superstar wannabe”, right?
Plus, I like the way he points out that bule poo too, so, we’re all the same in the eye of the… toilet.