Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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Nay says:
Australians (at least those I saw) are lacking some style (without insulting any aussies here, as you are good fellows)
good fellows who lack style .. what with dance moves, clothing, posture, attitude, personality?Possibly very true…. especially in Australia’s lower classes. There are some particularly odious Australian characters who are yobbo drunks. You won’t find them in Jakarta, but in Indonesia you are most likely to find them on Bali around Kuta, if anywhere, because they only stick to party venues and pubs.
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deta says:
@ Brian
open mind could mean not judging and not stereotypical!
Once a guy chooses girls from a certain race or country as his preference over girls from other races or countries (or vice versa), that’s when he starts judging and stereotyping.
Btw, Wong Capek means Tired Man
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yes indeed i am wrong excusez-moi education has nothing to do with it, just like stewardesses haha, it’s all about personality, let’s say stewardesses have more personality hahaha, no i am kidding. it’s all about personality, long live the stewa** damn, i mean long live the indonesian girl (who’s that-? the one from riau, bangka, bali, lombok, moluccas, celebes, et cetera..) who dates the bule man or indonesian man (> javanese man, aceh man, papua man ? et cetera), or african man! africa? yes when indonesia was a colony back then, some men from ghana (which tribe?) were brought in to fight with the KNIL army against the terrorists of the inlands (terrorists? freedom fighters?) and they also married javanese women, speaking of that, why has nobody argued about the indo people, they were (and still are) for decades a community which is mixed of indonesian (?) and european (?) blood, during the bersiap period most of them went to the netherlands because they felt not welcome anymore, living between the bulmen of those time and between the inlanders of that time. you see, it’s all from which perspective you are writing. let’s say it’s all about personality. i am happy for rich snobby indonesian girls who are dating poor surf labourer dudes from australia, i am happy for the poor indonesian girls who date the ugly fat high educated belgian dentist (is that a high educated job in belgium mr. bs?), sorry i mean ugly fat african dentist (dr. alban, but he’s from sweden!). and i am happy for me as indonesian chap (what indonesian? pasporku bilang londo) to say i am happy for y’all. i say let’s all date someone who’s has a stewardess or dentist i mean sorry. i am wrong again, i am mean personality yes.
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indo girl % inlander
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Lcvs, what are you trying to do here, include a picture or something?
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haha, inggeh, i was trying something artistically, but i guess it doesn’t work :-D, biarlah, tidak apa-apa
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Patung, IM already has “dating indonesian girls”. When can IM have a thread for “dating indonesian boys”?
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Acapellorustic says:
I last wrote in this thread in January 2009 (p44/5). I had met a lovely girl from Indonesia while working in China and although I didn’t realise it immediately at the time – it was a case of love at first sight. I had written into this forum to learn a little bit more about girls from Indonesia in general and how I should approach this girl in particular.
I want to share my story just over one year later. I hope it encourages the hopeless romantics out there and softens the hearts of the cynics 🙂 I eventually began dating this girl and our feelings for each other grew very quickly. I completely surrendered myself to her and knew that I wanted to spend my life with her. Even when she took an opportunity to go and work in another Chinese city (I wouldn’t stand in her way to move on in her career) we still agreed to visit each other once or twice a month.
Unexpectedly she became pregnant and a situation that we had often joked about lightheartedly suddenly became cold hard reality. For me it was a no brainer – I love her and would marry her in a heartbeat. A couple of months later I was staying with her parents in her home village in East Java and after a few days we were married in a traditional ceremony. We both returned to China and she came back to live with me in China where I had been working. It wasn’t always plain sailing. For most of my life I had enjoyed the freedoms of being a young and single while she had also enjoyed the freedoms of travelling independently, so we did clash sometimes; however, throughout the pregnancy we both really bonded and the trust between us grew. Finally near the time of our baby’s birth we both went back to the UK and stayed with my family in preparation for the birth our beautiful son. We also formally got married in the UK in a small ceremony with my family and close friends.
I am writing this – one year later – a father and a husband. I never anticipated any of this happening to me and was quite happy where I was with my life. But when love comes knocking and you listen to your heart and take your chances a whole new world awaits. Don’t hold back people. Follow your instincts and seize every moment!
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Thanks Acapellorustic for filling us in, good story.
Patung, IM already has “dating indonesian girls”. When can IM have a thread for “dating indonesian boys”?
You or somebody write an introductory post, then we’re in business….
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bs says:
You or somebody write an introductory post, then we’re in business….
I think the market is a bit smaller, but it would potentially be an entertaining thread considering the backward opinions about gays in Indonesia.
@lcvs
Are you on drugs? -
hello bs, no, i don’t do drugs. i only sniffed in the panties of a stewardess**oops i mean a swiss banker girl, kinda cheesy you know.. 😀
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venna says:
@Acapellorustic: congratulation, man. You’ve found your true happiness. I’ve read your previous posts… and yeah, I can feel love grew and bloom amazingly between the two of you just by reading it. Almost make my tears come out 🙂
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shawty says:
@Acapellorustic
congratulation ! I did read your story as well a year ago..
however, excuse me.. Im curious, how did she tell her mom that she is pregnant and that time you both have not yet married. Sorry, u allow to not answer this question..
as someone that lived in western countries and from javanesse family,
I just wondering IF it may happend to me..
Anyway congrat for your coming beautiful son hope England not too cold these days. -
Inez says:
@Venna, so for you all foreigners are good looking and have a swimmer’s body and all Indonesian men are fat because they just waiting their wife to cook for them??
I am really sorry if your dad is a couch potato who never work out, but if you spend more time in fitness centers in Segitiga Emas instead of just whoring around in bule bars where the only Indonesian man you see is the pot bellied satpam, you will see soo many gorgeous educated Indonesian men working out…
Meanwhile you can see the world obesity statistics here :
http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/hea_obe-health-obesity
# 1 United States: 30.6%
# 2 Mexico: 24.2%
# 3 United Kingdom: 23%
# 4 Slovakia: 22.4%
# 5 Greece: 21.9%
# 6 Australia: 21.7%
# 7 New Zealand: 20.9%
# 8 Hungary: 18.8%
# 9 Luxembourg: 18.4%
# 10 Czech Republic: 14.8%Let’s see, wow where is your foreigner hero’s sixpacks ??? I guess you’re day dreaming too much, quit watching youporn for god sake!!!!
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What’s your problem, Inez?
Now you said that my dad is a potato couch? You don’t know me, yet you “SO SOK TAHU” about me. I’m so sorry too that even with your degree you cannot fix your pretty damaged brain.
Don’t you understand what I was writing? I DO NOT HAVE ANY CHEMISTRY WITH INDONESIAN MEN. That’s all. And it is my right to have different taste about men. Soal beda selera aja kok dibikin panjang! Siapa elu sampe merasa berhak mengadili selera orang lain!
Ohya, kalau mau nulis statistik, dibaca dua sisi ya.
*1st: USA with 30.6% with obesity = masih ada 69.4% with normal or excellent weight.
dst… dst…. -
LOL, our babu Venna started to get pissed…
So, there is 69.4% with normal or excellent weight in USA, how about in Indonesia ? of course higher than that!!! 🙂 don’t teach me about statistic I use Neural Nets and Support Vector Machine algorithm at work everyday.
The reason you don’t have any chemistry with Indonesian men is because your small brain has been whitewashed so bad that it stops running well. Any NORMAL woman with decent IQ can have chemistry with ANY HIGH QUALITY MAN regardless of their race…
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Oooo….. High Majesty Inez starting to show off her degree again. Do you think you are the only one who has degree here? I also finished my college at English Literature and now starting to pursue my second degree at Political Science and I work part time as a medical staff because I have degree too in medical science. But that is not my point. What I want to show you is: it is not about obesity or whatever crap that you wrote that piss me. It is your attitude that trying to dig and judge my personal life. Get a life!!
You said that any normal woman can have chemistry with any high quality man. So why still one woman prefer to choose her own preference even she is surrounded by thousand good men? Chemistry is the beginning. The next is love, and fate. Even you love a high quality man with all of your heart, if it is not your destiny, you won’t end up with him. Vice versa.
I already told you, it is not because I don’t see any quality on Indonesian men. It is about heart. if you talk about a relationship, you talk about heart, about your feeling. If your heart is not touched, no matter how hard you try, you cannot love that man.
I am so sorry that I have different fate than you. My first love was with a foreigner, and I felt quilty because of that. That’s why I kept it secret from my friends. I didn’t want to be judged, because I knew some of them were like you; easy to judge and put negative labels without trying to know me better first. And the second love was just like a snow ball; kept rolling on the other side even I tried very hard to make it stop. I denied it a lot, but then I was thinking: why I did this? It was hurtful, not only for me but also for the man that loved me truly from their heart. And I was thinking: why not just accept this instead of running away and made his heart bleeding?
That’s what made me finally able to see my own life with different perspective. And I tried to enjoy the process. I tried to enjoy the fun side of having love; seeing his physical beauty, playing with his heart a little bit without aiming to do harm on him, and just trying to be myself in front of him. That’s the essence of a relationship: you can be open to each other and show both side of you, the angel side and the evil side.
Ok, it is up to you whatever call you made for me. You can call me babu, you can call me whore, you can call me whatever you want. I don’t care. It just reveals your incapability of respecting others. So sad, you have so much luck in your life, but it doesn’t have any effect to your personality.
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Dman says:
Thank you Inez for sticking up for good handsome Indonesian men. I was raised in the US and my parents are from Indonesia. This thread is skewed too much on Indonesian/Asian females dating bule or only white guys. Of course I don’t mind interracial/cultural relationships marriage as I have met and dated beauties of all races. In the end I chose a Indonesian/Asian beauty I met online and we are planning our marriage/perkawinan in the fall in Jakarta. I try not to forget who I am as sometimes I have known mixed Indonesians usually intermarry again and forget their heritage. Then there are cool marriages like Tamara Blezinski and Mike Lewis who found love on their Indonesian side.
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ET says:
@ Patung
I think you should set up a fund for the intellectual development of pembantus and kampung girls and finance it with mud wrestling matches between the high class and educated Indonesian women?
I’ll be the referee.
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You know y’all, now I am starting to see this as a bottom rock. No matter how hard you try to keep your cultural identity and heritage, once you married a foreigner, you are dismembered from your community. No matter how hard you try to balance both side, you are still seen as a defective one by your own people. And your husband is still a “bule”, even he stays there for the rest of his life and speaks Indonesian language fluently. He is never be considered as an Indonesian.
I teach Indonesian language to my little girl, hope that it will help her to find joy and happiness while staying in her mom’s country; and probably it will encourage her to stay there forever and find her true love. Quite ironic, huh? I think I reflect my own dream to her; I miss my country a lot and want to go back; to feel the air in my skin, enjoy the food, and share happiness with friends.
Now I am starting to question it: Do my friends really accept me as their friends just like before I married my husband; or at the bottom of their heart they scold and call me “Whore” or “Babu”. So far they are still the same, smiling and talking nice in front of me, and I believe them. But now I am not sure anymore.
So then why I bother myself by trying to keep my cultural identity and inherit it to my kids; if I am no longer seen as a part of it? Why bother teaching Indonesian language when you already know that you are no longer respected? Why bother maintain your dream about coming back when you are not welcomed anymore?
I think it is better to stay here. No one will bother and insulting you just because you choose to marry a stranger. Everybody here comes from another country; moved either by fate, economy, or just a coincidence. Everybody is the same: immigrant; and they start to love each other. A Polish marry a Germany, an Irish marry a Dutch, an Italian marry a French, an Indonesian marry a Turkish, a Jewish marry a Chinese. All are different, yet all are tied by their new identity in this land.
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@Venna, where do you grow up? If you grew up in foreign country, it makes sense that you are mostly attracted to foreigner because you had more opportunities and shared similar values with them rather than with Indonesian men..
But if you grew up in Indonesia, it doesn’t make any sense at all to me that you’ve never had any chemistry with any Indonesian man nor having relationship with one.. It is our nature to be attracted to our own race. We share similar culture, language, value, way of thinking even food and humor taste…. ………
Well… except, if you spend most of your time whoring around jalan jaksa since your teenage years desperately try to get attention from “handsome, tall, educated” (LOL) jalan jaksa’s bules….
I mean, tall, handsome, smart, open mind, and whatever things you mentioned are not exclusively belong to one race, you can see soo many Indonesian men have that traits as well…
“Chemistry is the beginning. The next is love, and fate. Even you love a high quality man with all of your heart, if it is not your destiny, you won’t end up with him. Vice versa.”
I agree with this, I believe that ATTRACTION IS NOT A CHOICE, we can not force ourselves to fall in love… but the impression from what you have written is that you CAN NOT fall in love with anyone from your own race. It’s uncommon you know, it doesn’t make any sense…
If you say, yes I’ve loved and had relationships with Indonesian men, but apparently it didn’t work well and my fate was with foreigner, it makes sense. But from what you’ve written it’s seems that you are ALWAYS fall in love with foreigner from your first love..
It’s sounds to me that you CHOSE not to fall in love with your own race….
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@inez
So, there is 69.4% with normal or excellent weight in USA, how about in Indonesia ? of course higher than that!!! 🙂 don’t teach me about statistic I use Neural Nets and Support Vector Machine algorithm at work everyday.
How about in Indonesia? A large of the people suffer from malnutrition, not “normal or excellent” weight.
Besides this, neural nets (which were already out of fashion even in academia years ago) and SVM have little to do with statistics, you probably mean heuristics. I think somebody does need to teach you about statistics.
But now this is out of the way, please carry on the catfight. -
if it were, i would date you both venna and inez and there’s something to get for you two haha, but no let’s stop the fight, you both made your point i think. but if you want to continue the polemics, just be my guest
hey, why do you actually need more catfight action bs? not enough satisfaction in belanda or where are you from?
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@lcvs
Usually it’s bule vs. bule or bule vs. Indonesia. It’s interesting to follow the clash of opinions here.
But enough entertainment in Belanda right now, the government just collapsed over the issue of Dutch military presence in Afghanistan.
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okay indonesian vs. indonesian is interesting, maksudnya. and in belanda yes indeed, well let’s see if the new elections will bring gurt wolders more closer to the ‘pluche’ than he already is… but that’s something different, although this may effect in the future ‘indonesian’ girls (i mean the muslim ones -?-) when they try to marry the bulmen from belanda and want to live there (?). indonesian girls, i mean especially the muslim ones, if you were to be married to a bulmen, do you want to live in his country where hatred is amongst government leaders against muslims? or does amor vincit omnia?
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brian A says:
hello bs, no, i don’t do drugs. i only sniffed in the panties of a stewardess**oops i mean a swiss banker girl, kinda cheesy you know..
what are you doing sniffing in panties? did you get any ‘play’ off these women? or just went for the panties ..?
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DETA
open mind could mean not judging and not stereotypical!
Naleem
what ar serious affairs? you and Mr Sethur could hook up, do you like good hindu family?
SANDOZ
Australians (at least those I saw) are lacking some style (without insulting any aussies here, as you are good fellows)
good fellows who lack style .. what with dance moves, clothing, posture, attitude, personality?
LCVS
In australia any girl with half a brain can obtain a stewardess job or law degree if they committ to it and want to work at it with. Because we have the opportunity to, I am having a break and travelling having completed half an engineering degree here in Australia and dating an indonesian girl… education has nothing to do with it. We have lawyer women work here with husband who is a labourer with no education.
you are wrong sorry!
@Rin or anybody who knows javanese?
what does ‘WONG CAPEK’ mean in english??