Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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ET says:
@ bs
In Eastern Europe and Asia, stewardess still is a relatively good job. I’ve never seen ibu rumah tangga as a stewardess on an Asian airliner.
In Taiwan and HK and probably also in mainland China it is still considered a top job for women. They even have beauty pageants specially designed for aspiring stewardesses.
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Oigal says:
it’s difficult for us we can’t rely on loan nor government support like bules…
Of course, only 4% of us pay income taxes so to expect handouts from the government like bule is bit ahem..rich..
Bule students also need to work to make ends meet not mention those government handouts mentioned are normally a loan (called HECS in Australia) which must be paid back once they get a job due to their “free” education
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@ sandoz
For what reason some Indonesian girls want to get pregnant even if they don’t know you and they know they will never see you back? (They were not working girls or money girls)
They call it memperbaiki keturunan a.k.a. improve the gene pool. For some reason – true or not, this is a discussion worthy of its own thread – many Indonesians believe that caucasian genes are superior to their own and that by mixing them their offspring will reach a higher level.
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sobhana says:
ok ok i believe you. yea so i still think this master-servant mentality needs to be abolished. the reason i left the country was cuz after my mom passed away, i realized that her javanese family is just so ridiculous with their keturunan ningrat priyayi shit ways, it made me understand why she wanted to get away in the first place, and go to study abroad to escape that old country. now that i live in the states, yea i’m definitely fighting for my independence. it’s a great feeling!
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Dikkiman Sujengkol says:
Heh, Mr. Patung,
I am write the Bules and Pembantu article for you and post it – but the Inbox is verrrry long time to download.
Please tell me if you did/didn’t get it.
thank.
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Inez says:
Sobhana, the problem is there is misleading interpretation of fighting independence for women…. I agree that women are of of course should get equal treatment in academic and business world, but most women interpret this “woman freedom” as a legitimation to whoring around act like a street slut.. When I heard Indonesian woman say, “I love bule men because they are open mind”, it can be translated loosely as, “I love bule men because they can tolerate my wicked slutty behavior” .
So fighting for women empowerment in career and education YES, whoring around (which is most Indonesian girl who dates bule does) NO.
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Inez, I think you will like my Bules and Pembantu piece. Can you explain a bit more about wicked and slutty behaviour ?
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Nay says:
I agree that women are of of course should get equal treatment in academic and business world, but most women interpret this “woman freedom” as a legitimation to whoring around act like a street slut..
Oh boy, that comment is going to open up a “can of worms”
If you believe that a woman’s body is truly her own, then she can do what she wants with it… and that includes sleeping around.
If her body is not hers, then she should do exactly as men tell her, get married to a man she doesn’t like, and wear whatever she is told to.It’s either one or the other… either women choose what they want to do in everything, or they cede it all to somebody else.
I’d think that if a woman DOES want to do exactly as she is told.. then everyone has to understand it as her choice to do so, and she can change it at any time she likes.
I found the title to this article (link) hilarious.
You need an “expert” to tell you that you can do whatever you want?
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Naleem Mohamed says:
Hi
I am 32 years old, interested in Indonesian girls for friendship and serious affairs
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bs says:
Oh boy, that comment is going to open up a “can of worms”
I think you’re right Nay, this is really old fashioned and short sighted.
A friend of mine (orang Java) is a teacher in Indonesia, and last year he asked me to come with him to class to meet students and answer questions. one school was for midwives and thus girls only.
After “hello mister, where you from?”, the second question was “what you think about free sex?”. I explained that they meant “extramarital sex” and that in the West that is generally considered ok for consenting adults. The third question was “what you think about aborsi?”
Now I had that before, so I looked up the numbers beforehand.
It turns out that the Netherlands, where abortion is legal, has one of the lowest abortion rates in the world. In Indonesia on the other hand, where abortion is illegal, there are quite some illegal abortion clinics (if I have to believe the newspapers). There a also relatively more prostitutes than in most Western countries. Sure, blame poverty for the girls, but the point is they would have no clients is the would really be no extramarital sex (free sex would sound weird here wouldn’t it?). The national obsession with selingkuh and orang hidung belang is also not present in most Western countries.I’m with Nay here, “women freedom” is exactly about doing what you think is good for yourself without others forbidding it or judging you. It’s not about whoring around, it’s about having the opportunity to whore around if you like. Having the opportunity is not equal to taking it. Maybe if you’ve never experienced personal freedom, it’s hard to recognise it.
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deta says:
@ Inez
try to see around if you really live abroad, many Indonesian students work hard part time to finance their study, it’s difficult for us we can’t rely on loan nor government support like bules…
Wow, that reminds me a lot of ME back there. Even when we had a support from our govt, it was still hard to make the ends meet.
When I heard Indonesian woman say, “I love bule men because they are open mind”, it can be translated loosely as, “I love bule men because they can tolerate my wicked slutty behavior”
Ya Inez, women who said “I love bule men because they are open mind”, mostly can’t give a real definition of the term “open mind”. If “open mind” means he will tolerate everything you do, I don’t think there is even love there.
And a woman who think that all bules are attractive probably never met, or is just too blind to see, “bulbel” (bule belagu) or “bulwhotgasto” (bule who thinks that his genes are superior to others’). Gee Dikkiman, you’re truly my inspiration.
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I am 32 years old, interested in Indonesian girls for friendship and serious affairs
How about this one Sobhana? Looks like he’s younger.
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Ibu Deta Yth.,
I learn from the master…
Pendekar Achmad Sudarsono.
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Dikkiman, has Achmad finished the lesson of sufi spinning dance? I hope he’s not having a severe headache now….
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Ibu Deta Yth.,
Achmad goes into these periods of creative withdrawal. I don’t know when he’ll come out…
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shawty says:
@Inez
don’t generalize most Indonesian girls who are beautiful and from wealthy family are spoiled brat
so true 🙂
anyway nice to hear that u have great indo hubby -
Cukurungan says:
Bu Snob hana,
Kenapa anda sebel kepada mereka yg cakep, kaya dan bisa bayar sopir & pembantu
apakah karena anda tidak seberuntung mereka dan anda terpaksa jadi pengungsi ekonomi demi memperbaiki status ekonomi anda yg cuman kaya gitu doang -
@ deta
And a woman who think that all bules are attractive probably never met, or is just too blind to see, “bulbel” (bule belagu) or “bulwhotgasto” (bule who thinks that his genes are superior to others’).
I don’t know where you got this ‘bule who thinks that his genes are superior’ from because most bules nowadays have been imprinted with the notion of genetic equality or at least similarity of all races and ethnicities in as far that they sometimes can’t even see or take account of cultural differences. This genetical superiority – or inferiority – syndrome and the notion of memperbaiki keturunan is something specific for this part of the world and it would make an interesting topic for anthropologists to investigate.
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Halo Mr. ET Yth.,
I address the issue in my forthcoming scholarly (f) article, ‘Yin and Yang: Bules and Pembantus’
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@bs
Interesting post. I agree with you.
When I heard Indonesian woman say, “I love bule men because they are open mind”, it can be translated loosely as, “I love bule men because they can tolerate my wicked slutty behavior” .
Why are some women threatened so much by other women sleeping around?
The answer is obvious… those “evil sluts” UNDERCUT the “good women” in the market!!
(Please note my sarcasm here)
How is a “good woman” ever going to make a man pay for sex is those “nasty” women simply “give it away”… FOR FREE??It’s as if in these women’s minds, there’s some kind of “sexual cartel” going on where women who sleep around are somehow outcompeting them and devaluing the “market”! It’s ridiculous! What is scary is that they FAIL to realize that if they treat women and relationships as if they ARE in a market…. as if women are simply a commodity to be bought and sold, they actually DE-VALUE THEMSELVES as human beings!
I don’t believe women are sex objects… and yet women get upset when they are treated as such (forced to do such and such by men and society, no freedom)…. BUT they want the man to buy them anyway!
It’s hypocracy! You can’t have it both ways!The best things in life are free!
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Bapak Dikkiman Sujengkol Yth.,
We are eagerly looking forward to your forthcoming article, especially its metaphysical correlations between the Taoïst worldview and the interracial Herrschaften/Knechtschaften aspects of human relations.
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halo Cuk, on the contrary, i moved because i can. i was tired of getting pampered you see, and decided to take care of myself.
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mentalities like Cuk over here who care mostly about status and wealth, living easy thanks to domestic hire, is sadly reprecussions of 350 years of mmm wats the word, penjajahan (sorry it’s been awhile). the javanese cultural domination across the nation sickens me.
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venna says:
Oh wow, I shouldn’t be honest at the first time… I just realize after reading few pages here. Is it so wrong for an Indonesian woman to be attracted to a bule because of his physical beauty? The beauty that she loves, no matter what other people’s standard about it? Or because she loves the way he treats her, romantically? I think everybody has a right to define their own perception about a relationship, their fantasies, their love life, even their wildest dream. Why should judging them just because they have different definition about “open mind”? I don’t mind seeing other women become flirty or even “slutty” and”bitchy”, as long as they do it with someone they love and they know what they are doing. I don’t feel offended by them. If a bule then seeing me as a cheap girl just because they’ve met “bad girls” before, I simply leave him, because I know that he is just a boring person and will suggest him to get treatment to fix his brain. I even don’t feel offended either with “ayam” or whatever sarcastic terms people or bules made for Indonesian women who like to sleep with bules. Because I know who I am and what I want in a relationship; and I respect their own right too about what they want to do with their own bodies. I just simply want to enjoy my life; have a good job, have a nice vacation, have a passionate love life. But, man, again… I shouldn’t be honest about it. Some people are just too easy to put negative labels on others.
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Venna, looks like you idolizing bule too much, you think all of them as a Adonis god or something, with perfect body, brain and personality…may be this is the result of hundred of years of white colonization ???
This kind of behavior is exactly make us Indonesian girls/Asian girls look so cheap, especially among bule men themselves…
I agree that every women on earth are expecting handsome, smart, sweet and romantic guy, but that kind of guy exists in almost all races! Black, Latinos, Asians, Bules…Open your eyes, just stop idolizing bules too much and start to respect your own race and other races beside bule as well….
I am familiar with a self hatred, white washed Asian girls like you, they idolize anything with white color… Their eyes are blinded, they will happily spread their legs for fat, bald old white bums cause on their eyes, they look like Tom Cruise….. For you may be every white guy look like Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt with Einstein IQ and Michael Phelps body LOL….
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@ ET
I don’t know where you got this ‘bule who thinks that his genes are superior’ from because most bules nowadays have been imprinted with the notion of genetic equality or at least similarity of all races and ethnicities in as far that they sometimes can’t even see or take account of cultural differences.
When you said most bules, that means there are still some bules who have sheer arrogance about their genes, and I happened to meet some of them. Maybe you are familiar with the words “bloody asian”? I just try to open some girls’ eyes here. It will be nice if they love someone for who he is, not because of his colour of skin or his colour of eyes.
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@Inez: Really? You are familiar with girls like me? Do you ever know that my hubby now is a Latino, and my ex-ex-ex BFs are Puerto Rican and Italians, and Jews? which unfortunately all are foreigners, good looking and have nice bodies because they know how to stay fit, not lazy or just stay on the couch all day waiting their wives to serve them.
You don’t have to be sarcastic just to show that you know better or that you are waaayyyyyy…. smarter than any other women. Apparently you know nothing. I like foreigners, doesn’t mean that I do not respect my own race. Of course I respect Asian/Indonesian good men, but I just don’t have any chemistry with them. will you blame me just because I choose foreigners over my own race? Damn. It is about love and chemistry. Not about spreading legs to any white men. -
Inez you sound repressed. I hope you’re really happy with your life.
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@ sobhana
There are many pretty indonesian young woman doesn’t have own maid and driver or spoiled.
Its a good thing to be pretty, smart, independent, can cook basic thing for survival a.la anak kost, and on my university dorm that time, i live with over 60 girls and none are spoiled. We cook, we cleaning up, we walk to university, and if you see us, we are not bad at all-if you count fair skinned girls pretty.
Oh one thing for sure, i do annoyed with spoiled snob girls.