Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
-
brian A says:
where is oigal at?
achmad, andy, ade, riniss, farah all quiet
-
Farah says:
@ Brian A
Not much to comment here… i’m still following tho. -
timdog says:
brian, I’m afraid your above post is far too subtle for me. I really don’t understand what you’re talking about, but I am able to surmise that you have a thoroughly enlightened attitude to women. That’ll be why you have so much success with the ones back home…
ET – though the lower stretch of Jalan Legian at 2 am is not a pretty sight, I am always wary of making the kind of statements that you make above, suggesting as they do that the Balinese are some kind of species of otherworldly nymphs whose beautiful culture will crumble at the first sight of a vomiting Australian.
The Balinese are neither noble savages, nor an untouched jungle tribe. They are grown up people who have been engaged with the outside world since long before the earliest homosexual artists and masturbatory anthropologists of the west laid their first sensitive footsteps amongst the rice terraces. They are quite capable of prostituting themselves if they so choose, and quite capable of doing otherwise too.For “admiring” outsiders to portray Bali as a place of fragile, naive innocence that ought to be protected from the likes of Brian A is troublesome indeed. It’s actually a totally unreconstructed colonialist discourse, apparently denying the Balinese the right to be fully engaged participants in the modern world (no, no little Nyoman! You are not allowed to be a lawyer, a doctor, a whore or a pimp; you’re Balinese and don’t you forget it! Now get your batik on and start dancing little man, the sensitive tourists are coming…)
Also, Brian actually does have a point – though Bali’s tourism is hardly “struggling” these days, his kind bring as much money in as beaded, middle-aged tw*ts, fluttering around Ubud with a copy of Eat Pray Love in their organic handbags. I’m sure most of the Balinese who reap that money wouldn’t give a toss about the bemoanings of “degradation” from the “sensitive foreigners”… -
Oigal says:
Brian A,
Still around but most of the time the nonsense here on Indonesia and Indonesian women is not worth comment. Suffice to say, I have never been happier and its been a lonnng time.
It’s because of ‘partyers’ like him that what once was a unique and special place now has become the dwelling of whores, pimps and all kinds of related lowlife.
Nope, its the complete inability of the Indonesian Government to grasp the concept of tourism and marketing (Not just Bali). You set up a place as a low rent, quick buck, put nothing back tempat jelek and you get what you deserve as tourists. No use blaming the people that come, you created the issue. Mind you, the Indonesian government can’t even run a good whore district, perhaps because the best ones are in politics already. Kuta is just tacky, sleazy and down market and its not the tourists fault.
Remember this is a government who decided that any touring yachts that visited Indonesia had to pay full import duties on the price of their yacht before they entered Indonesian waters on the promise the money would be returned on leaving (for a “fee” of course). Now even the most brain dead leper coud tell you the
“grotty yachtie” is the orginal low impact, money for jam tourist but not these guys.Personally, long ago pretty much gave up holidays in Indonesia, seen enough plastic bags and pollution to last forever. Vietnam, Thailand, Singapore, Malaysia all do it so much better and cater to all pocket ranges. Do recommend Vietnam to anyone.
-
ET says:
timdog
Again you are galopping away, mane flying wildly. No one said the Balinese are some kind of species of otherworldly nymphs whose beautiful culture will crumble at the first sight of a vomiting Australian. But I have been here long enough to witness, besides the destruction of nature and the rampant building rage, the degradation, the rudeness and the greed for uang gampang: “Transpot, massaas”. If you call this fully engaged participation in the modern world then I’m afraid we are not on the same track.
I’m sure most of the Balinese who reap that money wouldn’t give a toss about the bemoanings of “degradation” from the “sensitive foreigners”…
That’s the whole point. They don’t give a damn, whether from ‘sensitive’ foreigners or anyone else. A large part of them in the tourist areas – not all, because there is a counter-tendency to preserve some dignity and promote sustained development – just look at you with $-signs in their eyes, hang around all day doing nothing just trying to make a quick buck and let all the work be done by javanese pendatang. I may be old fashioned but if tourism means to become a haven or heaven for lowlife to get their kicks then for my sake they can put it where the sun never shines.
Oigal may be right that the inability of the Indonesian government is also to blame and in the end they get the kind of tourists they deserve, but facts remain facts and each time I walk along the Kuta-Seminyak thoroughfare or Ubud’s Jl. Monkey Forest my toes curl and I wish I was somewhere else.
-
bs says:
@ Brian
theres the problem right there! some are honest on here and you are just poofting
I’m sorry you can’t appreciate the sarcasm.
It’s clear you and I are very different kinds of personalities. My approach to dating Indonesian girls is way different from yours. I have learned the language and culture, I made my mistakes, I learned a lot and now I’m happily married with an Indonesian girl. I’ll probably make many more mistakes anyway, but I like to share my experience so far on IM, as do other people here.
Calling others dickheads or poofters will not help you make a statement. Note that I’m not judging your partying lifestyle or approach to Indonesian women. Go ahead and have fun.But please remember you were the one asking questions on this forum, you did not like the answers you received and in the end you were the one that got hurt. No matter what insults you throw at me, I hope you’ve learned your lesson and one day meet a girl that shows you a different side of Indonesia. Sure you can buy sex, there still is no way to buy love though.
I think you know the difference by now. Good luck. -
Laurence says:
Hi,
You don’t need to visit Indonesia to date, I just met an Indonesian lady in my own country (by chance) and we have been dating for 2 weeks. Since we first meet, I have gone to a few places and met her friends and now have been part of the huge Indonesian network in my city.
-
Hi Again,
Further to the last post after meeting a few of her friends in Indonesian/bule relationships both married and not, all have told me they are happy to be here and love their husbands or boyfriends!! It was interesting to note the ones I spoke to at a food gathering I attended had all met under different circumstances, one met her husband when he holidayed in Bali, another met her husband when he worked in Jakarta and another met on the internet.
There is hope and it seems the extended Indonesian network in my city will help Indonesian girlfriends who miss home and food.
-
TDOG
That’ll be why you have so much success with the ones back home…
…Tdog, considering you dont know me and have made this comment I ask you, do you think that the people who cannot find a women in their own country, book a ticket to Bali with a wallet full of cash, in the hope of finally finding a women who will be happy with them??? Wow thats funny, and are you saying that the standard of indonesian women are lower of that to western world. sorry if I am wrong, but that seems to be what you are barking at.
ET
…If the people of Bali (and also the large javanese community trying to earn some rupiah) if they really dont want me there because of my low-life attributes, and tdog my middle aged twat attitude…then I wont go. I remember a restaraunt which I walked past everyday in bali..it would be lucky to see 10 customer each day, after we walk in there and are the only customer at 7.30pm.. enjoy a meal and have some conversation with them, followed by ‘terimakasih’ and a decent tip.I may be old fashioned but if tourism means to become a haven or heaven for lowlife to get their kicks then for my sake they can put it where the sun never shines.
yeh seeing a differnt part of the world and going on a holiday..gee your turning me right off travelling alltogether. wouldnt like to meet you on a deserted highway.
+I dont know where you are from in the world maybe somewhere cold and wet, but you should see the tourist and variety of race in my city. if they want to party all day and bang our hookers at night, well they can do that.
BS
Seems the crossing happened quite fast though …
are you basicly calling me a dickhead with this comment?? you are one of those characters who only mouths someone when there back is turned or finds a smart way to offend someone?
LAWRENCE
that sounds like a good situation for you, would definately see a lot more success stories for indo women in a different country if they had some of their own around them………………………s e l a m a t t i d u r
-
Peet says:
Hi All,
I guess everyone is old enough to know what they are getting into, even MOST of the girls I hope. And even the professional girls (hookers) can not all be bad as they are only trying to make a living. And for sure you will have the real bitches, only going for the walking ATM machines (I like that expression). But those you find everywhere and most are not even an official hooker??.
I have never been to Bali (yet) as somehow these big party places all over the word do not attract me as much as before.
At least in Indonesia you can find very beautiful and caring lady’s. Very sexy and feminine.So I still recommend for us westerners to not give up if you are really looking for a serious relation contact some lady through mail, website or come for a relaxing holiday to Indonesia and explore.
-
ET – that’s a pretty acidic attack on a huge swathe of the Balinese population there. Anyone would think that you hate these people.
In your earlier post you were attacking the Brians, now you’re attacking the Wayans – make up your mind: who is it that’s to blame for destroying “your” Bali?Don’t get me wrong, my toes too often curl as I wander around Bali, but you and I – no matter how regular a visitor/long-serving a resident we may be – are nothing more than outsiders, part of the same dynamic that, as far as you are concerned, is “destroying Bali”, and as soon as we start making critical pronouncements on what the Balinese happen to be doing with their own homeland, then we enter a pretty troublesome discourse.
Tourism in Bali has so many layers – from the vomit-and-f*cking of nightime Kuta, to Fat Chinese people taking photos of themselves on the beach at Legian, to the Resort enclave at Nusa Dua, to “sensitive” backpackers in Padangbai, to low-key surfers eking out pennies on the Bukit, to East Javanese schoolgirls on coach trips, to the cool crowd in Seminyak, to the villa crowd crawling up the coast to Canggu and beyond, to the excruciating Ubud crowd – and of course, the “sensitive” transplants…
Saying one aspect of that is better or worse is nothing more than snobbery.Now it ought to be obvious that I am generally happier when wandering in places like Madura or Sumba where there ain’t a vomiting Australian, or an airy-fairy artistically inclined European in sight, but here’s something important: in remote villages all over Bali, far off the tourist track, far from the beads and the vomit and the pimps and the whores and the meditation workshops and the “art”, there are televisions and motorbikes and a little bit of cash flowing around. That’s all because of tourism, and it’s a good thing – those same people in Madura or Sumba don’t have anything.
Brian, one failing restaurant isn’t symbolic of a struggling tourist industry. Bali has, over the last few years, had steady year on year growth in tourist numbers, and there’s a noticible trend to the higher spend. Tourism in Bali is doing very well indeed right now.
Running a sucessful restaurant, even in a place absolutely crawling with tourists, is a spectacularly hard thing to do. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about. There are hundreds of people – foreigners and Indonesians – without a clue trying to run restaurants in Bali. Because of lower overheads, places that would close in a month if they were in Cornwall or Sydney, totter on for years.
Tourism is doing just fine in Bali.are you saying that the standard of indonesian women are lower of that to western world. sorry if I am wrong, but that seems to be what you are barking at.
No, but the socially crippled sexual refugees from the west who head for Indonesia – online or in the flesh – in search of a woman with the idea that “the east” will provide them with something they’re incapable or unequipped to find at home are of a lower standard – and would stand no more chance with an Indonesian woman who has not chosen to enter a certain dynamic than they would with a woman met at work, school, or just in a bar back in Australia, US, UK or wherever…
-
@ brian A
+I dont know where you are from in the world maybe somewhere cold and wet, but you should see the tourist and variety of race in my city. if they want to party all day and bang our hookers at night, well they can do that.
And because of people like that who believe they can transplant their sleaze to a place like Indonesia where traditional and family values still count, we had already two times a couple of nutjobs who thought they could redress the situation by blowing everything up.
Did you never as yourself why they did it or has it already completely been forgotten?@ Peet
At least in Indonesia you can find very beautiful and caring lady’s. Very sexy and feminine.
True and let’s hope they will keep it that way.
@ timdog
ET – that’s a pretty acidic attack on a huge swathe of the Balinese population there. Anyone would think that you hate these people.
Maybe it’s the 10-year itch.
That’s all because of tourism, and it’s a good thing – those same people in Madura or Sumba don’t have anything.
Not even dignity?
-
Bali is the worst place to look for love if your a tourist.
-
Brian, one failing restaurant isn’t symbolic of a struggling tourist industry.
ah TDOG.. I was referring to ET’s view that the people of Bali dont welcome the foreigners and that we have destroyed the place…thats all! If they were not happy with us in their restaraunt then I will never know what makes them happy.
And because of people like that who believe they can transplant their sleaze to a place like Indonesia where traditional and family values still count
.ET…wow that is unique..indonesia must be the only place where traditional and family values still count…is it??
Did you never as yourself why they did it or has it already completely been forgotten?
not forgotten! Indonesia just this week, has been issued with a travelling warning for Australian travellers..because of some kind of terrorist threat…
LAWRENCE…
Bali is the worst place to look for love if your a tourist.
you told us one of your friend …
one met her husband when he holidayed in Bali
but most people there trying to make money, and not looking for love?
howd u meet your misses?? -
Brian,
Thats true he did meet her there, but was lucky as she was on holiday there as well, a holiday romance that turned to marriage and they are really happy here! My friend did travel to her home every month until they were married.
I lived in Bali for a while and saw a lot of problems with love there, the girls most bule tourists will meet out at clubs are not local Balinese and have come to Bali to make money like everyone else from around Indonesia. Sad fact but true.
I came to Bali with my Batak gf after we finished working in Malaysia and do know many great people from all over Indonesia who would make great partners for men and women anywhere but they generally they avoid the seedy nightlife unless with friends and only go out now and again.
-
Brian,
I met my gf in a restaurant and got chatting with her, simply by chance, but knowing some bahasa Indoneseia did help get a conversation going and break the ice.
My former Indonesian partner actually worked for a friend and after seeing and chatting for many months when at his work we ended up on a date and a two year romance.
-
sobhana says:
socially crippled sexual refugees lol, good one timdog. personally, i never hooked up with a tourist travelling through my country due to my own prejudice. mind you that was when i too was a tourist in the area, but still by definition would be considered a local girl therefore had to be somewhat careful in choosing who i associated with. now that i live outside the country, i have a different perspective. if you are single and travelling, you have the right to live it up, despite your ‘better judgement’. It’s alright to party like a rockstar (that’s your cue Brian A). It’s all about respect yo!
-
ah issues about the Balinese people, no worries, they are pretty chill and not desperate! they are content with their way of life and they are friendly people (most of them) just like most Indonesian perhaps (the Javanese, not so much) on a personal note, i am half javanese and i hate that side of my family =P
-
@ lialita
Good job sist! just let them drools for a while, if they want us they should do it legally. Just agree for your saying there :not all indonesian woman are whore, instead like not all western people use them for their own benefit ( for s– only )
I think if he does really love you he should respect your decision to keep your self until you get married. We are not like western, its not our culture to just do it (yepp like n*ke ads hahah) on first time to met. Anyway, i wish you good luck with your Dutch love, wish you a very happy ever after 🙂 … don’t give up !
-
Max says:
hey there, I’ve been dating a few girls in indo for a while since I’ve been here (about 6 mths). I’m going back to the UK for holidays and would like to bring one of them with me. I plan to return to indo to continue working. Holiday should be for about 3 or 4 months. Just wanna know how many young women would consider a holiday such as this, I’m happy to pay for airfare, accomm, food etc pretty much everything while on holiday, but the thing is I’m not at all interested to get married. So I just wanna know if there are girls who would not consider this vacation a waste of time (because it leads to no marriage). I mean how many girls would say ok I’m happy to go on holiday with you and that’s the end of it?
-
shawty says:
@ Max
oh that’s very easy !
I believe theres still many shallow girls for sad man 🙂
just find those bule fan and holiday hunter girls that most likely have no life
except “how to find bule bf and use the best of it lol”
but yep you should be direct about this
dont hurt anyone 🙂
and u should target the 19 – 21 yo girls
cos most indo women usually after serious relationship or marriage
start when they finish uni which is usually after 22 yoGood luck
and warn her about the cold and rain 😀 brrrr -
So I just wanna know if there are girls who would not consider this vacation a waste of time (because it leads to no marriage).
… that is a long time three months … are you talking about the girls which you have been dating? dont they have committments. If you are going to take someone back to your homeland, then shorely you would want to know them fairly well !!? !!? !!? !!?
I mean how many girls would say ok I’m happy to go on holiday with you and that’s the end of it?
What would you do to keep them happy and entertained … but it certainly sounds almost too good to be true … be interesting to see indo girls view on this
-
Hi Shorty… would you like to come on holiday with me? I’ll make it as deep as possible for you, not too shallow… But if you have commitments such as husband or boyfriend or baby I understand how frustrated you must feel that you cannot even consider a trip such as this. How sad.
-
@ Maxie
You are looking for an escort/bed warmers. Not just ordinary-normal indonesian girl. The easiest way is you go to Blok M (as most of bule here like most) and book the girl for 3 months.No normal girls want to go for holiday for 3 months with someone who is not their bf or their husband. Normal girls had a job, and have to work at least until weekend, normally annual leave are given for 12-14 days per year for private company. Normal girls also have to attend their university/high school, 3 months holidays means half of semester not attending classes, its “F” for the whole semester for each classes that girl take, which mean she will fail that semester.
So if you are looking a jobless, uneducated girl, look for desperate girls at bars or street. They will be very happy for that. They will be so happy if you pay the whole expenses including lots of shopping and sight seeing. And don’t forget to ask if they already had passport before hehehe (if they do, they might know how this work anyway).
If you still want those normal girls to go, with no string attached, its no problem, BUT, separated bedroom for all the time, and its just pure holiday, NO SEX what so ever involved (you are not the BF/Hubby, right?). Deal???
-
Nay says:
I think if he does really love you he should respect your decision to keep your self until you get married.
That’s a fair call. If a woman is grooming herself so that she can sell herself to a man who is willing to pay for it, she should be left alone to prostitute herself like that. Despite what these women think, they are not being “good girls”. They are simply grooming themselves for a man who thinks that money buys love. It’s no different to your girls at Blok M, except these ones are aiming for a LIFETIME of support where they don’t even have to have sex with you after a while.
If she honestly thinks like that about men and marriage, and if it really is all about “saving herself” for marriage/money, then it’s probably best that she filter herself out like this.
There are so many women in the world who are not like this, so why bother with the ones who are? I’d feel much more comfortable marrying the ones who are free spirits and not seeing men as dollar signs.
-
@Max
Hi Shorty… would you like to come on holiday with me?
Thats very nice of u ! lovely..no thx
but dont worry I will keep give u advise to get ur dream young Indo babe holiday partner maybe with some intelligence (drop out super pretty cute dumb uni girl is the best for this) but well make sure u have big pocket they dont like skint guy@brian
If you are going to take someone back to your homeland, then shorely you would want to know them fairly well !!? !!? !!? !!?
Actually Its very easy!
England is very cold wet wet wet wet and wet
next, if max stay in country hilly side that’s gonna even worse worse, worse and worse
Also, Asian brothel in the UK quite expensive like 150 – 300 pound / hr (laugh)
so according to my calculation thats gonna be cheaper for him bring cute young indo/asian babe there, just for hmmm s** sake or whatever reason it is 😀 -
Yeah Brian 3 mths is a long time, maybe I’ll make it to coincide with her school holiday. I know her fairly well now. I wouldn’t want to take a strange hooker with me. I don’t think she is too demanding. I hope not because there will be times when I need to do stuff and she will need to keep herself busy doing something. That shouldn’t be too hard. Farah “Angel” is completely wrong. I am in a relationship with a normal educated knockout who is keen on marriage and children. She doesn’t want me to go back and says she will miss me too much. By the way she has been getting “F”d for the whole semester with me. Shhhh! and I’d like that to continue on holiday. So X No Deal.
-
Swagman says:
Despite what these women think, they are not being “good girls”. They are simply grooming themselves for a man who thinks that money buys love. It’s no different to your girls at Blok M
Well said Nay! Those girls are certainly not for me … for some strange reason (most likely religious) they have separated love and loving. Colder than an English winter …. brrrr
holiday hunter girls that most likely have no life except “how to find bule bf and use the best of it lol”
… and ….
So if you are looking a jobless, uneducated girl, look for desperate girls at bars or street. They will be very happy for that.
I am also constantly shocked by the disdain these girls appear to have for their fellow country-women who happen to be less fortunate than themselves. As if any girl really “wants” to be a hooker.
-
@ maxie
Easy to get easy to go… if you could give her “F” for the whole semester, why do you think none else than you could do the same until her graduation? hehehe… better not leave your kitty cat alone at university then..Also, if she went to university thats means she had a family/parent, she better be a VERY GOOD liar to tell that she is going to go to UK for vacation for 3 month only with a guy, and he is not her BF or her HUBBY. hehehe…
one other thing, u said;
but the thing is I’m not at all interested to get married.
and then you said;
I am in a relationship with a normal educated knockout who is keen on marriage and children. She doesn’t want me to go back and says she will miss me too much.
Have u tell those girls you are NOT INTERESTED in marriage or baby?????
Normal educated girl who want baby but get involve with someone who dont have the same “goal”??? is she really educated?? or just another twisted girl?
Am i really wrong about the thing i just ask?? or you just confuse between one girl to another since u date few indonesia girls as your first comment here? (which one is educated which on is not or maybe which one is want one night stand or which one is planning to get u as biological father for her babies perhaps?)
Comment on “Dating Indonesian Girls”.
Related Stories
Copyright Indonesia Matters 2006
Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Contact
omy lord, where were you when i was still living back home? lol