Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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Peet says:
Try MATCH.COM, good dating site
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Ule says:
Hi Bugs Driver, are u caucasian? or asian stay in USA?
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Kartika Ade says:
Hi guys, somehow my name pop up differently, but it’s me, Ade…
@ Pete & Aries…How are you doing?….Hope you’re both happy, healthy and…wealthy…
@Brian Astaga,
Waz up B….yeah it’s a loong story…about the same time last year I eventually conforted my husband about his “a bit restless” behaviour and he told me that he has been seeing a girl in Thailand every time he visited (work trips) there for over a year (that’s last year…) . Then he went there and broke up with her (he swore..) but cought him in action on skype last February…(one day, in stead of went to work, I hid under the bed, at home-in our bedroom and sure he chat with her for almost an hour…it’s horrifying). Anyway, now he begged to come back and restore/fix things between us, but so far…see nothing, feel nothing, hear nothing…no change from him….and no he doesn’t seem to regret any of his actions…What’s for sure is..my kids and I are in the limbo….
Well, be very careful with your girlfriend & your relationship with her…make sure it’s not only lust and nothing to do with (what Aries called) “upzising” in anyway……..
Well, who am I anyway….I only believe in love…nothin’ else…@Carl,
Welcome to this forum. If you are looking for serious relationship….don’t waist your wallet not to mention jeopardising your health…(down there) in bar/clubs etc. (with/without condoms), but try in a bit more “normal” setting, then you’ll meet “normal” gal….such as book stores, health clubs, girls who work in the banks etc. I know it sounds stupid and boring, but trust me 98.9 % of girls you meet in bars/clubs/night life entertaintment etc…mmmmm especially in Bali…well….put it this way throw some of your “banking/sums/finance” jokes…or slip a bit of math questions to them…they wouldn’t get it! Unless it’s about the sex transaction… Sorry, it sounds so partronising and condescending, but trust me, it’ll be best for both parties…
Unless, you just want to have fun…just remember to be careful though…Good Luck!PS. Peet’s probably right, Match.com will be more safe (but probably you couldn’t get Indonesian girl there that easy huh?)
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Hi Ade,
Actually I was on Match at the right time I guess, then talked over the phone for few weeks and booked a ticket to Indonesia. She was actually mad at me that I came over so quikly as I did not know her that well and a lot of bad girls in town.
You see I always go straight on to things, very impatient person, gets me into trouble sometimes. In this case just fineHiding under the bed while he was on skype, never heard that before.
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Hi again, forgot to say I’m doing fine. Just heard I have to leave this country before the 31st of October due to new visa regulations. Happy as a kid so home sweet home. Booked myself a ticket on the 29th. baby is starting to kick my wife so I do not want to miss that.
Hope I do not have to go back to this godforsaken place, two years is more the enough. -
Hi carl…U caucasian or Asian? coz u said u dark 🙂
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CARL says:
Thanks to all of you good guys/gals! – pardon failing to mention by name – too many 🙂 – I am gratefull for the feed back, and/or advice.
I’ve noted whats been said, also looked back – as time permit to read this quite long forum – the helpfull suggestions here and there. Yet the overall impression is one of pessimism, rather than optimism – when it comes to ease, call it success in meeting, finding a match in Indo.
I am also inclined to share the notion that the nature of Indo society makes it un-easy, if not extremely diffcult to go about finding the right gal, right place, right time – must be awefully hard, particulalry for someone whos might stay there for 10 days max! It might be a different story for an expat working there, having plenty of leisure time/opportuniy to come across a match here and there, from condo, hotel, night out, supermarket, mall, restu, workplace, etc, etc.
I am thinking of few days Jakarta – dont know if its any good, dont need vacation in big city (just coming out of one, but where to go in Indo when I never been to this part of the world), then may be to Thailand for 2 days, then Manila b4 heading back.
Ule, and think someone else, asked some info: I am dark -as in tan wise! Sunny California ;-), I got my own business, few employees (invesmtent stocks, forex).
Last, at the risk of repeating, sincere apology for not addressing each individual comment by name. Time is short – trading is long (24hrs). Best Wishes to each and every contributor to this great forum. Ciao, for now.
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To Carl:
I know a girl in Jakarta, she is 28 yo,single,pretty,intelligent,tall,attractive, she just bit picky, u can introduce ur self to her email sweetorange98@yahoo.com
This site is forum site, so millions good story also million bad story, dont make u pesimism is important. U must make ur own story, thats call life/
Good luck Carl, email her…u will not regret…thats if u good guy also.
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aries says:
Hi Carl,
Indonesia is a vast and dynamic country, with a society to match. If you are open minded (and objective) you will come to appreciate it, for what it is and what it offers.
In regard to pessimism, I would say that there are quite a few positive stories on the forum as well. Peet for one, has been around the block, perhaps further than I, and his story is very positive!
Forums of any kind, IMO, aren’t indicative of all experiences. Generally, forums are an avenue for participants to vent, or seek answers, so it’s not surprising that some negativity comes across. It would be wrong to think that cross-cultural relationships between Indonesian ladies and Western men do NOT, work based on what you have read here, or anywhere else for that matter. Remember be objective.
You mention FX trading, when you long a currency pair, do you assume there’s NO other side, do you always have the right side, or do you protect yourself from a potential reversal – your trading plan makes you aware, through objectivity.
In many ways I agree with you, that finding the right person is difficult (anywhere). As you say, pressing the flesh with enough bodies, over a 10day period, to meet a nice lady – potentially impossible. You need to be realistic with your own goals. If someone traveled to sunny Cali, looking for a hookup – with a nice girl – without having ever been there before. How would you rate there chances? Slim, none, zip…. And, yes you are right, an Expat has TIME to socialise, network, as well as make mistakes along the way, before finding a partner.
If your trading strategy permits and you are serious about finding a lady in Indonesia, I would pack up my Forex business and head to Indonesia for 1months holiday – it could even be a working holiday – the Bursa Indonesia is up 83% this year. Skype video calls work nicely for business between AUS and IND, so why not Cali…..Give yourself the opportunity, create one, as Peet said try Match.Com. Network.
Please view my comments as constructive. I love Indonesia, it’s one of the most beautiful countries in the world, and has some of the most amazing people. If you do go and spend time there I’m sure it will change your life (forever) and humble you.
BTW, I would take Indonesia over Thailand or Phillipines any day…….
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Hi Ade,
Yes we are well and 100mph amto…….
Business is keeping me busy, so I am very time poor now.
How goes it with you have you sorted out your husband, has he come to the party
or is he still refusing to admit he has a problem.With regard to having friends like Peet, Brian and myself……you are most welcome.
I am the first to admit that life is a long journey of knowledge, we acquire knowledge by who we associate with and what we endure. If I can offer a single drop of water to this ocean that is life, then I have achieved something.
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brian astaga says:
Hi Ade…
the obvious response to his actions would be divorce… is it because of your 18yr of marriage with him and kids or ‘unconditional love’ which is delaying your response to his mistakes??? the ball is in your court 🙂 …. you can do anything…
Hiding under the bed while he was on skype, never heard that before.
peet, ive never heard that eithor…however, when you get a sixth sense about something…..we all do un-usual things ya no one likes to be lied to, it is patronising…and in the later years of life it eventually sends people gila gila
Well, be very careful with your girlfriend & your relationship with her…make sure it’s not only lust and nothing to do with (what Aries called) “upzising” in anyway……..
ya ya taken on board. thankyou very much
@carl
from aries
In many ways I agree with you, that finding the right person is difficult (anywhere). As you say, pressing the flesh with enough bodies, over a 10day period, to meet a nice lady – potentially impossible. You need to be realistic with your own goals. If someone traveled to sunny Cali, looking for a hookup – with a nice girl – without having ever been there before. How would you rate there chances? Slim, none, zip…. And, yes you are right, an Expat has TIME to socialise, network, as well as make mistakes along the way, before finding a partner.
just go to a website,,,,,or a bar/club,,,,,,,no bullshit,,,,,,no offense….please dont go sniffing around in book stores because no doubt the girls in there are ‘decent’ however, they probably want to buy books…:)
^ ^P E A C E^ ^
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Hey Brian,
You have taken my comments to mean, what exactly?
Carl’s looking to, “meet *good* girls, not *bad* girls”, perhaps. So my reply to him,
was addressing his criteria – 10 day visit. I appended how an extended stay may better yield the results he’s looking for.No offense either, but I’m sure Carl, can find his way around a brothel dressed up as a Niteclub – wall to wall kupu2!
BTW Brian, you might want to back it up a little. It was Ade who made the bookstore comment.
So tell me why why can’t you meet someone in a bookstore or banking environment (where I met my wife)? No reason to limit yourself, to bars, clubs and websites.
Bloke, your not very accomodating are you?
Lots of ongoing relationships occur via associations one way or another, whether it’s business, family, sport or hobbies, just about any common interest, including pubs and clubs.
Bloke don’t limit your self and get c-struck, you’re TOO young, you’re only on this planet once, so make it a good one everyday!
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Pete says:
Well don’t get your hopes up about marriage, many Indonesian women run away with other guys, get married while still married to another guy. Marriage means nothing in this country, isn’t worth the paper you wipe your arse on.
Problem with Indonesian women, once they get their first taste of sex, something in their mind switches on. Even if your love life and sex life is good, they can’t control the itch and sleep with any guy. That’s the norm in this country and half the children in an Indonesian family have different fathers, from both parties playing around, hence the Indonesian population explains this problem….
If you want to date women in this country, better to date the Chinese, as they are far more loyal and dedicated to a relationship. Most expats are starting to work that out, because Indonesian women see expats as a source of cash and I can guarantee you that your Indonesian wife or girl friend is getting more on the side or has another 1 or 2 boyfriends on the side…… Indonesian women are only good for the short term fun, but as for long term commitment, better chose someone else, as your relationship will always be a headache and stressful one.
Sorry ladies, but you know what I am talking about……..
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Carl,
Any place will do to meet someone you just have to be at the right place at the right time. (brothel or massage parlor is a bit of an overkill I think).
As far as meeting girls in a bar or club it’s the easiest and more fun, and lets face it if its the money/hooker type you can mostly spot them a mile away. The clothing and drinking usually give them away plus the searching eyes for the next nights victim.
If not convinced its the way they talk that really does it. Most girls can only afford to go out one or twice a month, salaries are not that high for office girls and sales girls/ladies.
You will just have to take your chances in life otherwise you get nowhere, at least you can have fun even only for ten days. If you have made a contact with a dating site it makes the introduction easier but no guaranty, nothing is in life.
And indeed Indonesia is better choice compared to Thailand or Philippines I think, food is better and great people.Brian,
I know people do strange things when they think they are being cheated, specially when still deeply in love. I even went hunting down someone at night but luckily I did not find him as I would not be typing on this site now. People do strange things as it makes you absolute sick to the stomach (only thing it was good for was loosing some overweight) When I look back I still have to laugh about it.
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Hi aries…
I was actually agreeing with you when I quoted you ha ha…and definately agreed with you about the extended stay thing! very hard to find love in 10 days……anyways!! I know it was ade who wrote that and I didnt mean anything against her, sorry i didnt say that in my post. And when I spoke about the bookstore…..what i meant to say was..if he would like to me a special girl and then purposely goes to a bookstore to meet someone whilst on a ten day holiday…that would be weird…
ok if I confuse carls situation……have fun and good time on your holiday Carl and no doubt it will repay you with a stunning indonesian cewek…. 🙂
🙂
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peet..
sounds like you have regained your weight and doing well these days… 🙂
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Brian,
yes indeed gained my weight, not to bad yet but got to do something about it, problem is the local food in Indonesia, I just about eat anything and love it to everyone’s surprise.
Duck, Goat, Water Buffalo, dried fish etc. My wife and motherinlaw are great cooks.
Do not give much about chicken as that is 99% of my diet here in India, I’m about to chit feathers down here. Only once in a while I like to go to Outback in Jakarta for a big rear steak.
Always have done well for my self but better of now. My next challenge is building a house in Indonesia as its very hard sourcing for building materials on the internet.
Building in Indonesia is something completely different then I’m used to but looking forward to it
Any tips? -
rifraf says:
I fully agree with Pete on
Indonesian women are only good for the short term fun, but as for long term commitment, better chose someone else, as your relationship will always be a headache and stressful one.
I wonder what happened to one very nice Indian guy who married a woman who was typically described as Even if her love life and sex life is good, she could control the itch and sleep with any guy
For all you know, she might be spending all his cash in either visiting Indo or playing host to her Indo family in India…..along with that making sure that the poor husband doesn’t get a single moment of peace.
All that in the name of love.
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Hi Guys,
i have opposite opinion with Pete, many indo girls very want serious relationship/married but mostly the problem is the foreigner not serious enough and run away when start talking about it.
And about chinnesse girls, not always likethat the story even my foreigner friend said her chinnese gf more crazy then his indo gf, i dunno in here what his mean with crazy.
also if u wanna looking or suggest chinnese girls dont in indo but try Singapore or china rite? that more right place.Chinnese girls in indo almost have same personality with indo girls, and the funny thing 2 days ago my england friends said he dating chinnese girl for 6 months and he wont do that anymore, coz they like have emotional robotic well i dunno exactly what he mean.
Not meaning to be racist, but i think chinesse or indo girls as same.
The problem is about individual personality.Mysuggest dont looking girls on clubs, specialy hooker…coz althoug u was nice to them, give them better life by married them….they sickness is they “sales” caracter was on they blood. More big chance they will cheat u or go to club and chasing a mens there although was married u.
Dating site always the most safe place, but the key FOCUS…coz millions girl in there, if wanna looking married…choose 2-3 girls u most like and focus to them and choose 1 after u meet 32-3 of them.
Good luck!
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Pete,
you don’t have to go that far from home, same thing most likely in you own country.
Women is woman and men is men, you just have to be lucky and give it a try and be as honest as you can, no guaranties in this world. If marriage is not worth the paper its printed on in Indonesia, call your self lucky if you do have come across an unfaithful wife.
Not nice to be in that situation, I know. Most other countries you get taken to the dry cleaners and pay for the rest of your life. If this would happen in Indonesia you have the option to just leave or find another wife. Off-course you loose everything but its still cheaper then taken to the cleaners with a bunch of lawyers after your arce.
And I presume you are no completely blind or stupid when you step into marriage with any girl/lady whatever race unless your pecker has taken over the function of your brains -
Ule,
Dating site always the most safe place, but the key FOCUS…coz millions girl in there, if wanna looking married…choose 2-3 girls u most like and focus to them and choose 1 after u meet 32-3 of them
guess you mean 2 or 3.
If 32 the guy would be bankrupt in 10 days -
To: Peet
Yesssss, i mean 2-3 girls, sorry not correction what i wrote before 😉
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To Karita Ade & Peet,
U mean Match.com – Indonesia! Sorry, I am not used to these dating sites – think they are loaded with people having fun, wanting to kill some time! No?
Ule,
Thnx for the contact. Will do later on. Many thnx.
Far as your saying: “site is forum site, so millions good story also million bad story, dont make u pesimism is important. U must make ur own story, thats call life”. Very wise saying. Thank you.
In a following post you mention dating sites, as good way to go about it for time being – u thinking of Match.com – any other site in mind! U recommend.
Aries,
Quicky:
-“Emphasis on OBJECTIVITY”! Wudnt you agree that obejectivity is hard to come by in romance, in any romantic/love-hate relationship…kind of, unless its related to some ‘material’ factor.
– Soemone travelling to LA finding right gal for life is different from a hookup! Hookups are quite easy here – and they are mostly out of physical/sexual attraction (no money involved).
– Ref visit to Indo, knowing the people, country wud be an experience that will humble me…I am a natural born humble man 🙂Pete,
Thnk you for the frank! Very frank indeed comment. It goes withut saying that appreciate such honest views, yet must confess that it comes as kind of a shock to me. In any event, if what U say and feel about this matter – it must have come some pretty hardcore experience back in Indo. I just hope, wish it will be for the better for you, me, and everyone here. Can’t lose all faith, can we?
Brian,
Thnx B. No confusion – trying best to stay focused here.. 😉
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To Carl:
U are welcome, dont forget sweetorange98@yahoo.com, dont let anyone steal her 😉
Peet:
Welcome back to Indo 🙂
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Carl,
Good sites or bad sites, I do not know. It was recommended by my sister. Not that she was on it, but she heard it from her friends.
I went on it when I lived in Spain at the time, I speak Spanish but could not write it and then most contacts come to a quick end. Then tried South America as I had been there before and I always liked the temper, straight to the point (this is just a game, and turned out to be a disaster)
Really by utter boredom I went to Thai, Indo and Philippe site and that is where I met my wife. Best thing that has ever happened to me. This is just a thing that happened to me and not a guaranty for someone else, just go with the flow -
Hi Carl,
The term hooking up means different things to different people
(I did emphasize – nice girl), but I can definitely see where you’re coming from!Yes being objective IS difficult when in a relationship, it takes patience and effort, sometimes looking at the bigger picture and putting yourself in the other persons shoes from time to time and wanting to communicate. IMO this doesn’t specifically relate to any material notion.
Wish you all the best!!!!
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bugs driver says:
hi, Ule, thanks for asking, here is my story. I was born in central Asia, near Caucasus mountain ranges. when i immigrated to USA, i did not know who I was in race wise(we have only one race), certainly, i am not an European, so i asked the trooper(driving license place), i said i am not an Hispanic, i am not African American and i am not Oriental. She said you are considered as white, according to US census. so, from then on, i am white and i do not get any minority privileges like Hispanics and other enjoy, even though i look like Hispanic. So what you see, i am all self made.
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lianivaputik says:
hi, Carl.. why dont u try to chat with me on lianivaputik@gmail.com. Maybe we can get to know each other.
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To: Bugs Driver
I cannot say till i saw ur pic 😉
what color ur eyes and hair? ;-D
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I did not mean to say that kupa kupa malam or working girls are not decent girls/women…:)