Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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Avi says:
waow…
I’ve been reading this discussion just because I was browsing for the word Indonesian girls. I was really surprised that this topic lasted for more than 3 years. So much comment from foreigners and Indonesians. But I really find it simple…it is just something about man and woman but with different culture which makes it complicated. That’s all. Anything else is just the topping for the brownies situation :p. Whether it is the economic situation of the guy or the girl, job, physic, etc. But I think the most important is the character of the people. So, whoever you are, a local Indonesian or a foreigner…good luck in finding the one with a good quality which means good character of course 😉 -
brian astaga says:
@ diego. . .
you just dont say that. . and your profile pic trippin me out ok! Patong, get this racist out o here 😉
@ deta. . .
just because diego is an idiot there no reason to be racist like that to white, because I am white and have great great respect for ‘brownies’
@ avi. . .
bagus bagus 🙂
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Kodew says:
Hmmm……??????
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@Deta
Siiipplah! 😀
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Ade says:
Hi all,
(soo many new comer)….Pete….
I was sooo shock to have read your opinion about Indo gals…” Indonesian women are only good for the short term fun, but as for long term commitment, better chose someone else, as your relationship will always be a headache and stressful one”.
That was so condescending of you….It hurts!! really!!! Generalizing like that…the last thing I thought came from you Pete (especially after my life story)….Wow…I thought my story (it’s quite difficult to tell it to the forum) was quite enough for you guys to see that is not ALL Indo gals are like you’ve described…..That kind of quality could be owned by any race any where in the world….please…. It is f******* difficult for us who try to make it works (career-wise internationaly) to wipe out the”South East Asian” women image in the world….So, ENOUGH …okay…
I’ve never thought you’re the kind of men who generalized character like that….
what a DISAPPOINTMENT….Especially when I thought you’re a friend….. -
And…plus this Pete…..
“Marriage means nothing in this country, isn’t worth the paper you wipe your arse on.”
COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!……………………….Are you serious??????……………..So, did you really read my story Pete…….WHAT WAS THIS?…………….UNBELIEVABLE!
Honestly, it simply hurts…..
T H A N K S P E T E !
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Andy says:
I just read Pete’s post in full and i’ve got to say frankly he is right.
My Javanese girlfriend used to play around all the time and couldn’t get enough of the good stuff no matter how often and how long we did it for….She told me many times I was the best ever and had the biggest one she’d ever seen. But Indonesian women (pribumi Javanese) are sex maniacs. She talked frequently about marriage, kids etc and even looked at houses with me for a while. Thinking back knowing the law in Indo she probably thought I would buy one then she could take it from me. Also she insisted I learn about Islam and how to be a good muslim. As if she was a good muslim the way she carried on!
Compare that to my Chinese wife and it is the exact opposite. Thrifty with money, honest, loyal and a good mother.
Now I know farah and a few others here are probably nice girls and hate these generalisations. Well instead of getting upset and sensitive towards bules how about having a chat with your fellow ladies and tell them how they should behave. This is a positive way to change a pretty negative image.
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I don’t know, what happened to you, you seemed to attract ugly kampung or kampungan (not necessarily from kampung) girls. Have you considered, I don’t know, personality courses? Physical make over? You’re still angry about it? I don’t know, but I guess there are some self-help books / videos that (might) help you get over it. Yawn. Are you, I don’t know, dragonwall?
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Farah says:
Well instead of getting upset and sensitive towards bules how about having a chat with your fellow ladies and tell them how they should behave. This is a positive way to change a pretty negative image
… not upset or sensitive when i am saying this;
We had the negative image too about bule that they are sex minded more than asian.
What if you talk to/chat with your bule friends not to become sex maniacs, having relationship based on sex (sex first, falling in love later after the good sex of course).Never to complain when you request for sex not long after you know the girl name at the very same night, and the girl request for house, money or car after the sex.
Sex outside marriage mostly done due to “work requirement” there for if there’s service here comes the bills. I can’t remember its been our culture here to do sex as much as in western relationship cultures. People does that, i wont be naive, but it is not common thing in Indonesia, unless maybe because you’re committed to the relationship and already have the date set for the wedding (oh i know local people did this), or some girls, as you say, does like sex (but it is not limited only with YOU or one person of course).
It is happening anywhere not only in Indonesia. You see it in most of bars or clubs in Bukit Bintang Kuala Lumpur, Patayya and Patong beach or soy cowboy in Thailand, etc.
It is hard to change that image: Asian girl (easy and submissive-in terms of good in bed, kitchen, etc), western guy (rich with dollar/euro bills, only interested in sex, have big thing, etc).
Of course all i said above are generalization that we all dislike to hear, but does occurs on most peoples thought.
So.. its a circle of evil i say… hard to stop it by only with chat or talk about how to behave.
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Farah, you are right about what you say about bules being an image..this is what it is. Does it occur to you that ALL human beings have genitals and therefore regardless of what people say or want you to hear they think about sex and do it when they can. In Indonesia they just don’t talk about it to people like we do. In the west it is out in the open now. Indonesia is similar to the west in the 1950s. What you say is not what is happening right?
Oh and my exgf? Not a bar girl (I want to go on the record here and state I have never slept with a bargirl in my life and don’t intend to) she is middle class, university educated from Keboyoran Lama, Jakarta do you know this area? Hardly seedy, red light or kampung either. She went to high school in Pondok Indah too in one of the best schools in Indonesia. Now how did she end up as a common tart? Thats not for me to know as I obviously never really knew her anyway considering all the lies she told me.
Farah, if bules want sex then you can say yes or no. But consider this, maybe they ask Indonesian girls for sex because they have debeloped a reputation for sleeping around. That is an image too but one i’ve seen first hand. -
C’mon andy, don’t pretend to be a bule. Ni hao ma?
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Farah, you are right about what you say about bules being an image..this is what it is. Does it occur to you that ALL human beings have genitals and therefore regardless of what people say or want you to hear they think about sex and do it when they can. In Indonesia they just don’t talk about it to people like we do. In the west it is out in the open now. Indonesia is similar to the west in the 1950s. What you say is not what is happening right?
That’s why, when someone mention “bule” or caucasian, that’s what they think. Because you’re wide open about sex, so most people here thought you only want sex. Nothing serious, just one night stand, like “hit and run” thing. In some places in Indonesia, having sex still comes with consequences. As elder people say you “damage” the girl (this is silly i know) and there for you should responsible, because back then …well maybe until now, none of local guys want to marry a girl who’s not virgin. The “seal” is broken no return policy.
You could ask local guys here, how many of them, will marry someone who’s not virgin without assuming bad things about her? its less. (I don’t know whether they married a girl because her virginity or because he love her just the way she is, still unsolved mystery for me).
But sure not in western, that’s why sex outside marriage is common thing, because virginity not such a value as if.. you say back then before 1950’s.
Oh and my exgf? Not a bar girl (I want to go on the record here and state I have never slept with a bargirl in my life and don’t intend to) she is middle class, university educated from Keboyoran Lama, Jakarta do you know this area? Hardly seedy, red light or kampung either. She went to high school in Pondok Indah too in one of the best schools in Indonesia. Now how did she end up as a common tart? Thats not for me to know as I obviously never really knew her anyway considering all the lies she told me.
Ohhh i know not all girls with bule are bar girls. I know Kebayoran Lama, and Pondok Indah sure. You just not lucky to get twisted one. But i do assume you do have sex with her, that’s why she sound so cling to you. I could imagine whats on her head; just had sex with bule, he will marry me, had pretty children, big house and one or two car, bragging in front of my friends how lucky she is.
Well stereotype is stereotype, as long as bule kept thinking we are that easy asian, we will do the same, thinking you only want sex (even pay for it if its needed, with no guilty at all).
It is like the question : which on is the first eggs or chicken?
(answer is simple like economic law of supply and demand: ada permintaan ada barang.. (you sure could understand this))
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Goddess_in_paradise says:
Instead of dissing each other, I think it’d probably be a better idea if one evaluates one self, keeps one’s own principles and not force or try to force what they believe in on others. I wouldn’t say that all stereotypes are not true. There is indeed some truth in those stereotypes. Some. However, I don’t think it’s fair when one says that all foreigners or Caucasian are sex-driven only when it comes to relationship because that is not true. Likewise for the stereotypes about Asian women that they are submissive, gold digger, etc, you name it. One’s personality and the way one interacts with other has a lot to do with one’s upbringing and the way one sees oneself.
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But then again, I guess most things in life are never fair, are they 😀
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Adam says:
Hmmm, interesting stuff. I came to this site because I started on Facebook and by talking to one beautiful Indonesian girl I am now friends with some 90 or so orang Indonesia, about 75% of which are female. I might point out that I did not go looking for them, they just like to network and invited me to be friends. The reason I point this out it I have received quite a bit of flack and suspicion from people here at home that I know, not the least of which being my own mother who wanted to know why I am chatting up young Indonesian girls. Very suspicious crowd here. Well, I am not going to lie and say I don’t like talking to them in fact I love it! Most are Uni students and in their teens or early 20’s but all with out exception are lovely people. I am also very impressed by their motivation and what they hope to achieve in their lives. I do not see any cultural divide while on the internet, it becomes fairly invisible but I do notice the similarities, particularly to that with my own 19 y/o daughter, they could all be next door neighbours, the daily lives of them all are really no different it seems.
So, looking at what I see of the young females I have been talking to, I thing Indonesia is in good shape for the future, they are bright, intelligent, independent people who are proud of their nationality and are not afraid to show it.
I did however want to talk to people a bit older than these so have come to here to see what is going on and swap some comments I suppose. I look forward to talking to some ladies more my age and discussing what they want in their futures as well. My view is that from what I can gather, Indonesians are a proud race and no different to any others when it comes to interracial relations, some like the idea and others don’t. As I mentioned earlier, even my own family don’t like me talking to other people. Having travelled extensively when I was younger and in the navy I really enjoyed the different cultures though and always enjoyed the hospitality of Indonesians. I very much look forward to continuing this relationship.
So to me, each to his/her own and if you don’t like it, don’t do it. But also, don’t criticise others so much just because you may not like it.
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Achmad Sudarsono says:
Halo Mr. Adam,
I am an Indonesian cultural expert and have written a lot about cross cultural interactions. You can see my writing on Westerners here, and on gender relations here.
It’s good to hear a man with a 19 year old daughter has pure motives in talking to Indonesian teenagers and that they relentless add you.
Please enjoy IM.
A. Sudarsono.
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Terima kasih Achmad
I have read some of your posts hear and find them quite interesting although not surprising in a lot of ways. As a young navy guy in 1977, my first overseas port ever was in fact Surabaya and my good shipmates had me off to a house of ill repute within 2 hours of being in my first overseas country where I had a very enjoyable experience with an alleged 14 y/o girl (so she told me). Anyway the point is, I understand what you are saying and I am of an age now where I can sit back and not have to do that sort of thing anymore. While I look forward to one day maybe being in a position to be in a relationship with an Indonesian woman, it would not be in a situation such as my past life as a young sailor.
While I mentioned that I do of course like the attention of the young girls in FB, I must keep a reality check in place as of course they see me as a fatherly figure which is quite an honour I might say. I am helping one with her writings as she is writing a story in bahasa Ingerris. I have also talked to many (boys and girls) about many issues troubling them so it is nice to be able to do that and for them to value my humble input.
One thing though, one clearly needs to earn the respect of orang Indonesia to be accepted rather then reviled as a white person it seems. I find this constant reference to ‘Bules’ quite hurtful and racist. Is this the intention of this term?
Anyway, I look forward to further posts from everyone.
Adam
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Hi Adam,
Thanks for the post. To be honest or “anus” as they say in Dolly, the word “Bule” technically is racist. It means albino, originally used to refer to cattle. But racial terms aren’t as loaded here as they are in Western countries.
You can certainly argue that words have a power of their own. If someone is a “Bule” other people are “Cina” or “Coklat” or “Hitam.” I don’t think Black people usually have a great time here, despite Obama’s apparent affection for the country. Though he never made it to the local nasty SMP, or participated in a rumble.
At the same time, I think you have to pay attention to someone’s intent, or what’s in their heart. It was Tom Sawyer (or Huckleberr Finn??), who believed slavery was god ordained, but preferred to go to jail than betray his best friend the “nigger” Jim. Was a he a racist ?
There is certainly some nasty stereotyping here, including at my own hands, but I think Indonesia’s mostly like a big, fluid stew pot, where categories blur at the edges. In short, I don’t think racism problems are any worse, and probably a whole lot better here, than in most countries, for white folk, anyway.
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Farah, firstly I am amused by your and other Indonesians stereotypes. I know everyone to some degree does it but here has to be a source. In the case of Indonesians I fear they learn about us by watching Hollywood gossip shows and reading cheap tabloid magazines. Most of what they read and hear about are in fact nonsense. Westerners on the other hand base their opinions mostly by travelling and learning about the world in a hands on way. I didn’t pretend to know much about Indonesia until I lived, worked and had relationships with locals.
Onto your opinion of us, well who says we don’t love those we have sex with? I have to say i’ve dearly loved everyone i’ve been in a relationship with. he fact we don’t need to be married to have sex is another matter. It simply isn’t that important to walk down an aisle or sign a document in front of a priest to throw one’s leg over so to speak. But love? I’d say in most cases unless you pay for sex (which I don’t) most people love those they are with.
Now whatever you think of us don’t try and imagine Indonesian men are not playing around, using prostitutes and having multiple mistresses whenever they can. I know many Indonesian guys and sex is usually their major talking point. Possibly becuase they aren’t so interested in sport or alcohol. Also the rate of domestic abuse amongst Indonesians is appallingly high. I’m interested in your thoughts on this. -
@ Andy
..i just follow the moods here… and talk about the stereotype.If bule have those stereotype things i do have too. Don’t get it wrong, i am not that bule hater. Have nice respectful bule bosses, and co workers, friends… etc. I do traveling to most of South Asia Country.. so.. yeah maybe know less about bule compare to other people here… sure…
From them i could see much more different point of view beside cheap magazine or beverly hills 90210 (where everybody does everybody except their own brother and sisters). I see the whole thing, listen, and experience things with them.
I have my stereotype about indonesian guy too. Sure do i know what they are capable to do. I live side by side with them for my whole age !! you don’t need to tell me what they are.
Oh yesss… indo guys are into sex… they are guys… they are no …as i said… as open
as bule did.. as i said STEREOTYPE.. it doesn’t have to necessary true right?Just want you to know not all girls here too stupid to know that bule just human, have good side and bad side, just like local guys or any where else guys around the world.
I say bule had sex first before falling in love, based on my fella bule whos marry bar girls or “working” girls. Or their travel companion. Do you ever heard any bule love story that not involve the bed activity before marriage???
I heard one or two. I had once too. Something just simply so sweet, simple, sincere thing, no sex involve. But its very rare, and that’s where the stereotype coming.
he fact we don’t need to be married to have sex is another matter. It simply isn’t that important to walk down an aisle or sign a document in front of a priest to throw one’s leg over so to speak.
See.. that’s the problem… you had the thought “if you could have a glass of milk every day, why you have to buy the whole cow??” .. why you have to marry while you could had sex with any indo girls you like ? sex here sex there and there you go.. full glass of milk right?… are you trying to say this to me?
🙂 🙂 just my thought….
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See.. that’s the problem… you had the thought “if you could have a glass of milk every day, why you have to buy the whole cow??” .. why you have to marry while you could had sex with any indo girls you like ? sex here sex there and there you go.. full glass of milk right?… are you trying to say this to me?
Not really….I was merely saying we can love someone, be in a deep and meaningful relationship, have kids and stay together forever without having a formal marriage. It seems far more important to be married in Indonesia possibly because religion is the be all and end all. But Farah ask yourself, how many truly loving marriages do you see there? I see many based on business and financial arrangments (particularly on the female side), marriages arranged by parents because they don’t ‘approve’ of their daughters not so well off boyfriend not to mention the huge amount of guys who have more than one wife and /or mistress. Look i’m married myself with an Indonesian woman as you know but my point is what is important to you-having a relationship with someone you love dearly (with or without marriage) or marriage simply because society and parents think it is right for you?
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Also Farah, I say to your bule friends who married working girls, why?? Would they go to a redlight area in London, LA, Melbourne etc and marry one too. They wouldn’t even have a relationship with one so don’t know why they think it is a good idea in Indonesia. Once a bar girl always a bar girl. If you grow up thinking ‘jiggy jiggy’ for a living is the way to go no doubt they won’t stay loyal and true to their ‘bule’ husbands. Once inside their new country with a new passport mark my words, they will look for someone younger, richer and a better catch than the overweight, older sex tourist they latched onto for the ride to freedom.
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Andy, get some help, please. Your bitterness starts to taste like sheet. Move on.
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@ Andy
Not really….I was merely saying we can love someone, be in a deep and meaningful relationship, have kids and stay together forever without having a formal marriage. It seems far more important to be married in Indonesia possibly because religion is the be all and end all.
It is for religious reason, and for LEGAL reason. I think this is most woman wants all over the world. Married and settle down with ONE guy, have kids, and grow old together (hehe too naive i know).
You sound like someone who’s afraid of commitment (which is another stereotype of a bule).
Me, as a woman I need to be sure, if i have a relationship, where that will go ? is it have future (to grow old together?) or it is just waste of time (he dump me to go to another woman after he proposed me)???
Marriage is a bond. That’s all. If you really sure if that girl is the one who will spend your old days with you, you will take the plunge. If you are not sure, you wont even dare to say the word of “marriage” in front of ur gf… and if you don’t even dare to say it… well no wonder your gf start to look around again for someone who man enough to take the plunge and more confident about the relationship !!
But Farah ask yourself, how many truly loving marriages do you see there? I see many based on business and financial arrangements (particularly on the female side), marriages arranged by parents because they don’t ‘approve’ of their daughters not so well off boyfriend not to mention the huge amount of guys who have more than one wife and /or mistress.
I live for the rest of my life in Indonesia, not in only one town. I have many friends and people i know.. and guess what… none that i know married not because of they love each other. And only one person that i know divorce (he always cheat, drinks, etc). So its not that bad here in Indonesia.
Sorry i never know anyone who married based on business arrangement, or arranged married (this is not 1920es). Woman now have more freedom to choose who they want to spent their life with these days. Even my parent married (in 1978) because they love each other and the marriage last long !
Look i’m married myself with an Indonesian woman as you know but my point is what is important to you-having a relationship with someone you love dearly (with or without marriage) or marriage simply because society and parents think it is right for you?
Can’t agree more than that. I do believe marriage have to be based on love, trust and understanding. I never agree on arranged marriage, my family, the big family or my friends are believe so. My sisters married the guy they love, i’ll do the same.
About parent things.. well… i think its normal for daddy to “dislike” any guys that date their daughters right? its a common thing around the globe !! it will take time, and lots to prove but if you really serious, daddy will think about it again (hehe).
Also Farah, I say to your bule friends who married working girls, why?? Would they go to a redlight area in London, LA, Melbourne etc and marry one too.
Well first thing, it is cheaper here in Asia… and the girls are brown and more pretty, soft speak, funny, adore bule.. right? and more submissive of course (they cook, they don’t work, they do what ever you say)
Andy, i am the one who say that: once a bar girl will be a bar girl, you could take that girl from a bar, but you can’t take the bar from the girl.
I do believe that, but its people preference. Maybe because when bule with bar girls it will be easier, because they drink, and they could go to bed pretty easy, and they are not so very picky.
Oh yes, if you read back here few pages. I did share you story abt one of the worker here that have the wife doing two different guy while the hubby at work site. Sure she’s formerly that worker girl. But he love her, so.. he have to suck it up i guess..
Its a personal matters, i wont say anything about my friend wife, or why he choose it. I don’t like it… but as long as he say he is happy with them… what can i say ???
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Ule says:
After 1-2 weeks not write in here, and read again things in here…why this forum become no class? just talk racist, sex, etc????
can back to the topics? dating indo girls…all girls in indo black,brown,white,yellow…if she is Indo citizen then she is Indo girls ok???
Can have more class chit chat in here please???!!!
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Jen says:
I’m still amazed of this issue…
I met my first foreigner bf in High School. He went to an int school in Jakarta. It was my first real exposure of ‘western life’. Maybe it wasn’t a good example tho, though my ex was American, but the family had lived here for a year at that time… so somehow they had adjust to Indonesian way of life.
When I met his family, I felt like I found what I’d been dreaming of. Born in a conservative family which was also very religious, I felt like I was put in a golden cage. Being a girl I wasn’t entitled to so many things. I always felt like I was put behind my male siblings.While in my ex bf’s family, I could see how the parents treated the kids with the same right, no matter what the gender was. And I was amazed how the parents was asking the kids their opinion even for the smallest thing. In my family the kids follow what the parents told us, we didn’t get that much chance to decide/choose what’s good for us, because they think know better. The family was also very affectionate. They hugged and kissed one another and they were very comfortable at it. And one other thing that I would never forget… they never asked me my ethnicity, nor my religion, or ask about my parents (what they do etc). For the first time in my life I was being myself. It was a big matter to me at that time, because I had several Indonesian bfs before, and even tho it wasn’t anything serious (come on, I was only 16) when I met the parents it seemed like a big deal for them where I was from, what my religion was, or who weren my parents. It would be a big problem once the parents thought I didn’t fit in the criteria.
I grew up thinking people who came from a developed countries were all like that. Especially when I got to know more about their life… I attended a school concert where the kids at early ages watched a 1 hour performance without moving from their seats nor making a noise. They moved right away when there was a 15 mins break, and the room all quiet again when the lamp was shut down, and they watched the performance again. They looked so decent. Look so civilized… while, say now my girls are 7 and 6, and it’s sooooo hard to make them not asking questions while watching movies, or when they were younger, to make them sit down while having meals. And everyone said that I was lucky that my kids are easy to manage. Hmmm…
Those and other things made me think that you westerners are better than us. But as I grow old and know better. I realized that you guys are only human (tho I’m still jealous of your countries where you know how to queue, and stand on 1 side to give a way for those who are in a hurry while riding the escalator, where the buses stop at the bus stop etc etc :D). Especially after reading this thread and read for example how Andy thought.
But Indonesian women (pribumi Javanese) are sex maniacs.
and other similar way of thinking.
Don’t blame you, you must think based on experiences. But I thought you would have known better. How many Javanese women made fit in your description have you met? 2? 5? 30? 100? And how many single adult female Javanese are there in this country to make you think it is ok for you to do such generalization? I’m not what you called pribumi Javanese, but I feel sorry for my ‘pribumi Javanese’ friends who in my point of view are nothing like what you had described. Somehow I feel the need to defend them.I had sex with my bf for the first time after years of dating… not because he already proposed me or got the assurance that he’d marry me (like Farah said in one of the post), but simply because I was ready and thought it was the right time and he was the right person. He then slept with another girl (an American girl in Jakarta if that matters, and yes, she knew me and she knew he had proposed to me, just to make a point that it’s not only Indonesian/Asian girls who can ruin someone’s relationships) not because he was afraid of commitment (it was me who was in doubt in marrying him because I thought I was too young to get married, I wanted to be more settled), made him think I had another man. We didn’t get married later on when the problem was cleared – even tho I was pregnant with his baby because I thought it was a bad reason to get married. And now if I still didn’t marry him eventho I knew he was being thruthful with his feeling and I somehow feel he is my soulmate, because I’m also a human, I can’t be with a man who once had broken my trust – without thinking the history might repeat itself. I am stupid I know. I don’t know how to react to betrayal, since I never had a good example of this. None of the significant people in my life ever had this problem. Well… not that I know of.
While I know that people can be faithful too without love… I see that happen everytime in my family. My parents got matchmade and finally got married. I didn’t see them crazy about eachother, but I could see respect. That too happens with my uncles and aunties. And also my friends who once loved the spouses, but now after the love is gone they committed to their promises to be together in better or worse till death do them part. They don’t go out shopping for sex using that excuses. But of course, they’d only been married for 8-15 years-who knows what will happen in the years to come, but I’ve seen too many examples to doubt them.
Another example was my ex partner. He was being faithful, not because he loved me. But I would say because he didn’t like condoms and he was afraid of getting STDs and HIV 😀 . But at second thought, he might not be faithful either, he just didn’t get a chance to be unfaithful. That makes a whole lot difference eh?
But tho I hadn’t had a successful relationship with a foreigner, I don’t think I regret my bad experiences with them. They help me in becoming who I am now. I learned how to be punctual, independent, and affectionate from my ex bf. He also taught me to love travelling and reading. While the last one, I always amazed how he can be angry elegantly… without raising his voice. Being born as a Batak, I’m used to people talk like they are angry. And this guy… he has an adorable way to communicate when he was emotionally challanged, oh, and when he picked up the phone he had an aroma therapy effect (he’s a year younger than me, where did he learn how to control his emotion?). I always felt calm after calling him. Being with him for over a year, I saved up a lot of money for spa treatments. I just picked up the phone and listened to his ‘hello’ and my anger was disappeared. Boy… how Im missing him for that (sorry, curhat dikit).You know Andy, I really like your idea about talking to the ‘bule chaser girls’ (I hate that term… I’d been put in that category for way too long and I know it only means negative without any positive side about it).
Gals, stop it now. Don’t you feel irritated when someone from different countries said bad things about us? Let’s fix our ‘image’, about Indonesian girls being unfaithful, money worshippers etc etc. There must be something more about those foreigners beside what’s in their ‘pockets’ and ‘packages’. Steal something else that’s more long lasting… their good habits, their creativity, whatever it is which can make us a better person. Or give something to them… kindness, happiness, good memories… Don’t depend yourself on (a) guy(s). If you see someone for their money, I’d say that it’s pretty much that they’ll give you. Are you worth some amount of money? You deserve so much more.
Start with ourselves. 1 person can make a change. Let’s stop the generalisation by not doing it. Respect yourself, then people will too respect you. Go travelling if you can. You’ll find out that in their countries, they’re not a half god… they’re just human being like us. You might have different perspective about ‘bule’ is all bout cash and ummm sex? Think about our daughters. I personally don’t want my daughters have a negative image for having her nationality. Do you?…Merdeka! 😀
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Tia says:
I totally agree with Jen. Nice posting..! 🙂
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Why would I talk to indonesian girls in english? 😛
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Interesting story Jen 😉
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Brownies? Mmm…yummy! Is that Amanda Brownies from Bandung you’re talking? We are indeed as sweet as brownies, it is the white cream topping that makes it dirty.