Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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Suryo Perkoso says:
@Rob – surely your profession is all about “judging others”, in both criminal and civil law?
@Brian, to add another dimension. are you sure that these kids exist and if they do, who is actually paying for them? EEh Brian, if only it were all so simple – my wife would let me have those two 19 year old Javanese pembantu’s and wouldn’t object to me dinkling the hired help at work, but, for some reason she does object…..
What happened to Mr Wonderful who looked like a movie star, spoke perfect Indonesian and couldn’t find a nice girl, I’d like to see his input on this one.
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Rob says:
@ SP…
I am assuming that “profession” means lawyering (as dangerous as assumptions are)?
I do not work as a practicing lawyer in either criminal or civil courts at this point in time. At the risk of outing myself too much, although a Google search would probably reveal much more anyway, I work in the field of journalism and write for a subscription-based service.
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brian astaga says:
@ Suryo
@Brian, to add another dimension. are you sure that these kids exist and if they do, who is actually paying for them?
I went back to her rented unit in denpasar, we went through her camera which had heaps of photo’s which she told me were her children and from the looks of the pictures seemed to be mother and children! but now I think could have maybe been older sister and younger siblings………if thats what it was, well thats frustrating extremely!
but I dont think it was, for a couple of reasons..
I’m going back in desember with the same mate as in august, a few days back she sent me a text msg asking if I wanted to travel back to java with her where apparently her two kids are and her mother live, so, unless she bails on that idea I will start doubting many many many thingsI hope she isnt feeding me lies because I spent that much of my time thinking of her when I should be studying, maybe she is just a lot smarter and cunning than what my heart tells me – which I am sure that you suryo would not be suprised with? its a bad situation to be in now because I dont want to ask her if she has been lying to me the whole time……….awkward
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correction
so, unless she bails on that idea I will start doubting many many many things
If she bails on that idea I will start doubting many things.
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@andy
I am merely trying to warn guys (who there are many of) like Brian who are smitten very easily, think with their little head downstairs, and don’t want to hear the warnings from their brothers in arms who have experience with these women.
no one will listen to your warnings mate, if you speak rubbish like that
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@ BA – “I went back to her rented unit in denpasar, we went through her camera which had heaps of photo’s which she told me were her children and from the looks of the pictures seemed to be mother and children! but now I think could have maybe been older sister and younger siblings………if thats what it was, well thats frustrating extremely”
What, they had brown skin and black hair? you may have got the idea now.
I don’t want it to go tits up for you, but be prepared for it mate – I’m married and happy, but because of my bright , happy persona, occasionally little sweeties like Yenny throw themselves at me – believe me it has improved my Javanese no end, but it is a complex game when someone isn’t on the game – these little girls are sweet as toffee but have very deep personaities, and more importantly, deep traditions. “lara wirang” – ask her what it means Brian, the whole concept of “gengsi” (wirang in jawa) and “adat” are still very important – “sopan santun” and “duduk manis”
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@ Brain Maneh…. Andy has nothing to prove to you, and he isn’t talking rubbish. Everyday Lek Suryo has issues with falling in love with little sweethearts and half trying to justify these feelings of expanding sosis with a justification that “she is just so sweet” – and most of them are, apart from that big fat cow Big Don-Don, the almari dua pintu who shunned my advances, but then got laughed off of “Malang has tallent, but not much of it” – but I’m not getting bitter about the great big lump.
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What, they had brown skin and black hair? you may have got the idea now.
looked similar with brown skin black hair, I was talking about the affection they were showing towards each other looked like mother and children.
and more importantly, deep traditions. “lara wirang” – ask her what it means Brian, the whole concept of “gengsi” (wirang in jawa) and “adat” are still very important – “sopan santun” and “duduk manis”
I will ask her about this Suryo possibly after a google search ha ha 😛
not going to java with her and not understanding what was going on, ” why are all these javanese men and women staring at us in the shop!? ” ha ha ha ha no thankyou. -
Andy says:
Brian, you don’t have to ok, it’s entirely up to the individual. But I can say i’ve been where you’re going now so in months or years to come when this sweet little thing has taken you for a ride, you won’t have me to turn to and your sorrow will fall on deaf ears. You can cry alone in your 20 odd Bintangs. Good luck mate!
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good girls go bad
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indri says:
hahahahaa This thread is really interesting, and some things people say is just hilarious.
It’s pretty funny to read all this opinions about indonesian girls and our culture, starting from our perception of “Bule” to our attitude in a relationship.
As an indonesian girl I must admit that there are some ‘speculations’ made that are pretty accurate, but some are not types or behaviour of indonesian girls (like looking for big wallets or whatever) it’s just types or behaviour of some girls in general, and even boys as well.
Oh and about indonesian girls liking their guys to buy them everything in earlier comments, it’s not that we’re not independent or anything, I plan to become a career woman and have my own money and stuff, but it’s just a part of our culture I guess, that it’s the guys who usually provide for us, and indonesian guys usually take pride in being able to provide us with the things we need and the things we want. So I guess it’s a pretty different culture from other cultures huh?
but nevertheless, good luck in dating indonesian girls 🙂 -
indri, most Indonesians live in abject poverty and most Indonesian guys CAN’T provide for their women. Not that it’s their fault but they simply cannot afford a decent life for them. The average salary in Indonesia is less than 1 million rupiah a month so is about $100. Not enough to even provide 3 square meals a day. This is not a criticism but plain fact.
This is exactly why many look for any other guys, not only bule but many have arab, african or japanese bf’s. And it is also why many become prostitutes. -
anjem_ali says:
Asian girls like money, bling and hi-tech gadgets. They are also very fond of popping out many children. So naturally these women go for Japs, bules and negroes for some serious cock.
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rifraf says:
Asian girls like money, bling and hi-tech gadgets
Other than money, bling and hi tech stuff, Indonesian girls love sex. And thats why Indonesians girls go for some nice expatriate cock.
Frankly….dating Indonesian Girls is a nothing short of a very exciting drama/movie.
Whatever they do….whether they stay loyal or not….its one wonderful experience.
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ANDY
The average salary in Indonesia is less than 1 million rupiah a month so is about $100.
dahm now i know why prostitution is popular! 1 mill rupiah for some girls in 2 hours
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Wow Brian….if your woman can pull that much money that quickly I get why you love her so much. That is pretty good for an Indo hooker. In oz the ugly fat ones get $100 or more in 1/2 an hour but it is pretty relative to what people earn and can afford to pay.
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Jona says:
@ rifraf
Frankly….dating Indonesian Girls is a nothing short of a very exciting drama/movie.
Whatever they do….whether they stay loyal or not….its one wonderful experience.
You are spot on, rifraf. I took a header for an adorable Blok M dancer who was an Indonesian barbie doll only 18, still living with her parents and not willing or permitted to go home with the customers. However, she took a liking to me and we became inseparable inside the club. She would finish dancing (not naked or topless) and come down from the stage straight to my booth and snuggle up next to me. I was in heaven though she warned me that she liked an Australian guy named Steve who recently left Indonesia for Cambodia. She said that if Steve ever returned to Jakarta, she might have to put me on hold during his visit. Well, it happened last week and she sent me a text message saying that Steve was arriving and she would not be able to meet me for a few days. I told her it was OK and said “Have fun with Steve”. A few days later, I was near her club and missing her, so I made the mistake of popping in for a beer. There she was in the arms of Steve who looked like a bit like Robert Redford in his late 40’s wearing a white cowboy shirt. I thought I could handle it, but I had a meltdown and started texting her from the minute I got back to my flat. I went from heaven to hell in 48 hrs because she became annoyed by my texts and disappointed that I lost my patience, so she blocked my cell number in her phone. Oh my god, the drama! Her two older sisters who also work at the same club told me later that I shouldn’t try to compete with Steve because he has been supporting her family, putting her through school and taking her shopping at the Pasaraya Grande since well before I met her. I’ve only been buying her orange juice. Oh well, apa boleh buat? I should have been satisfied to be her number 2 man (like Avis Rent-A-Car) because I’m not sure if I am ever going to be able to get her back into my arms again.
Oh the drama, just like those Indonesian TV soaps!
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Peet says:
Jona, never go for second choice, you will only be milked out till your dry at the end. Unless you wanna take over Steves payments every month and then your still not sure what you are going to get. Plenty of good/smart and nice looking girls/ladies in Indonesia. Just take your time to look around, if it becomes complicated, ex-boy friends, sugar daddies, payments etc. drop it and look for something else.
It’s not much different from the western world as it’s most of the time about money.
Good luck. -
Tuan J says:
Halo pada semua orang disini/Hello to everyone here:
After reading the 65 pages or so of comments, I think it is great that Patung has some real strong community members here on this thread and this site. I spent a decade living in Asia, 8 of those years were in Indonesia. I had some great work opportunities and I met my lovely wife who gave me two beautiful sons.
There are PLENTY of great women in Indonesia. Not because they are docile and agree with you on everything–they are not and they don’t–but, they are not willing to sacrifice their family for their own personal needs/desires/wants. This is what makes Indonesian women great–they are devoted. All but one of my friends from college are divorced-some twice—that is America and a sad testimony to our family values or lack thereof.
My wife is NOT materialistic–she could have had a richer guy than me and still she chose me. We forego many material things here in the US so that she can stay home with our children. So, are there Indonesian women out there who only want money? Sure, just as there are Chinese, American, Aussie and Mexican women who also just want money. Focus on those who have more character.
Good luck everyone and congrats on building a great community here with Patung!
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I thought I could handle it, but I had a meltdown and started texting her from the minute I got back to my flat
i can imagine those messages… i bet the heart and soul were in each one of them!
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@ Jona – I shouldn’t worry mate, while Steve was busy, someone else was knocking her off.
You’ll never miss a slice off a cut loaf, and if after all that steve has done for her, she still messes with you, the orange juice king of Blok M, then it’s fair to say that she may be inclined to hawk it about a bit. There is also the chance that Steve may find out about you and then knock your twat in – some people are funny like that. -
ahaha
There she was in the arms of Steve who looked like a bit like Robert Redford in his late 40’s wearing a white cowboy shirt.
you really hate this guy steve dont you ahaha.
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ana says:
Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody’s looking for somethingSome of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused -
Thanks for all your comments on my rivalry with Steve for the affections of our sweet little dancing queen. Brian, I especially enjoyed yours because you seemed to get a big kick out of my predicament and my animosity towards Steve. Well, guess what? All may not be lost because Steve tried unsuccessfully to cash in his chips on Thursday night and may have lost all of his “investment”! I met one of my little dancer’s two older sisters last night and she told me that the friendship between Steve and her sister was OVER because of what happened on Thursday. Little sister agreed to meet Steve at a different Blok M club on Thursday for some private time, drinks and dancing. However, she backed out and claimed to be sick when Steve let her know that he planned to bring her back to his hotel afterwards. Steve went ballistic when he got her text message saying that she was sick and couldn’t meet him that night, so he replied that he had needs and would go to the club anyway to find another girl to bring back to his hotel room. His threat fell on deaf ears with our little dancer because she was already upset and she couldn’t have changed her mind if she wanted to — she had classes the next morning and she still lived with her parents who expected her home every night by 1 AM.
Big sister told me that her little sister felt sorry about what happened with me and even told her “Jona was right all along about Steve. Do you think he will forgive me for blocking his number?” She asked me to be patient just a little while longer and I should expect to receive a text message this week from her younger sister. Oh my god, it is possible that Steve self-destructed while I was at home throwing darts at a pencil sketch of him?
Stay tuned, Suryo and Brian, because the Orange Juice King of Blok M may soon be back in the game!
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Jona, sounds like a BIG orange juice little trap to me. She having Steve for a long time like a sugar daddy, kicks hime out?????
Orange Juice king from Blok M may have a few more lined up. All her little sisters in the same game most likely?
Skip it, get out while you can and look for something decent. -
Jona
I do think about this guy steve however! he may have been in a similar situation to you when he first met your girl. most likely he also had the same strong feelings towards her which you have and took it to another level by supporting her family.
all the best, hope you get back in there because it sounds like you want to look after her pretty well!
“Bob Marley – Baby i love your way” == INDONESIAN GIRLS
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all the best, hope you get back in there because it sounds like you want to look after her pretty well!
Fantastic news! I stopped by the club last night early (8:30 pm) and there she was playing billiards by herself. She started to smile when she saw me but then played hard to get and I asked her if her sister had spoken with her about me and given her the photo of me that I left with her. She shook her head and said that she hadn’t seen her sister yet this week. So, I played a game of billiards with her and then took her to a booth so we could talk. After about 25 minutes, she told me that she wasn’t upset with me anymore and she missed me too. By now, everyone in the bar was watching us to see if I was going to be successful or not. I wrapped my arms around her and she put her head on my shoulder and everyone starting clapping, including the lady bartender and the DJ up in the booth. It was like a movie!
We hugged and kissed for the longest time before I finally asked her about Steve. She told me he has taken a new job in Sumatra and is living there now. I asked her if Steve already screwed up (punya salah) and fell out of favor with her. She replied “belum”. So, I don’t know which sister to believe now, but who cares! I’m back in the game, either Top Dog or Second Fiddle. Peet wouldn’t approve, but for the price of a Bintang I had this vision of loveliness in my arms for nearly an hour and a half.
By the way, I offered to buy her a glass of orange juice but she politely declined this time!
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Jona, this is indeed starting to look like a soap opera, but good luck and keep us posted.
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I wrapped my arms around her and she put her head on my shoulder and everyone starting clapping, including the lady bartender and the DJ up in the booth. It was like a movie!
are you serious?????
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Lairedion, I wasn’t exactly a victim myself but have heard all the stories in the past from ladies i’ve been with and thought, quite honestly, they were rather amateurish. In my mind I thought, why do they honestly think we are that stupid?
I am merely trying to warn guys (who there are many of) like Brian who are smitten very easily, think with their little head downstairs, and don’t want to hear the warnings from their brothers in arms who have experience with these women.
I am also not a victim of an armed holdup but I advise people to lock their doors and windows before going to sleep at night.
Also i’m not a gold digging male, my wife is hardly what you can call wealthy. I really wish people in Indonesia would stop assuming all chinese are rich, many are not…This further perpetuates their ‘victim’ status when attacking the chinese both verbally and physically.