Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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Oigal says:
Of course if you want the Top End of Town view to unemployement, poverty and pain that exists that the “little people” deal with every day you need go no further than..
Of course selling cupcakes better than being someone selling her self and what so ever pride she have left.
Brian,…No need for the swearing at Farah, she provides such a perfert insight into thinking of the Elitists within Indonesia. Easy to upset, just ask where dear daddies money came from..
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ET says:
Of course if you want the Top End of Town view to unemployement, poverty and pain that exists that the “little people” deal with every day you need go no further than..
Of course selling cupcakes better than being someone selling her self and what so ever pride she have left.
With my apologies to those in the sex trade that have been trapped in it by force or coercion but there are millions of little people that make a living from boring and menial jobs without taking their knickers off. They are the ones who deserve respect and compassion, not the parasites who come to Bali or other tourist-infected places in search of uang gampang and an easy but useless life and in the process help spread disease and narcotics. Fortunately for each of those parasites there are hundreds of pembantus, cleaning women, jamu and cupcake sellers etc who at least make a positive contribution to build a decent economy instead of preying on testosterone.
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Suryo Perkoso says:
@Andy, bully for you, I don’t think we have crossed paths, but I do have to wonder why you would feel it necessary to threaten to punch someone for comments made about you on an open forum – particularly when you don’t know who may be behind those words. As for legal action, then that is really quite pathetic, agreed, if someone should cross the boundary and start getting too personal, then things may have to be done, but take a look at this guy and see if you think his actions are worshipful or pathetic.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laurence_Godfrey_(physics_lecturer)
http://users.dhp.com/~verbal/laurence_godfrey/godfrey.html
You may notice a sort of animosity towards this chap, I’ll leave you to decide why that could be and if it is fair or not.
In anycase, if you have to resort to violence or legal action then possibly the ‘net is not the place for you to play.
Aside from that, i’d agree with your comments to Brian, and ET seems to have adequately clarified that no one has to freelance pro, there are otherways of living.
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brian astaga says:
Everyone seems to exaggerate the fact that its only indonesian women who chase money and don’t want anything else when it comes to a relationship, can someone tell me another place in the world where that doesn’t happen.
Some people cant get over the fact that generally females have everything over males, if she wants a new bracelet she gets a new bracelet, if she wants a new couch then she gets a new couch.
Let’s not make out that indonesian girls only think about dollars and dont have feelings/emotions also!
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Jona says:
@Anthony – I would be interested to know how your met your Jakarta girl, in what type of atmosphere. If you met her in the usual bule hangouts such as a billiard hall, karaoke bar or nightclub, then she probably knows all of the same tricks as the other girls. I fell in love in March with a very beautiful girl who works as a billiards hostess and plays at the same level as me. She loves to be with me every day if possible but mostly while she is on duty — she has not agreed to be my girlfriend and she will not go out with me at night for some reason, only in the daytime (lunches but no dinners). She started out playing lots of the usual games about asking for pulsa for her phone, money to repair her family’s TV etc, but stopped doing this when she realized that she missed me very much when I when back to USA for a 2-week break. We became fast friends over billiards and she likes the fact that I am romantic with her, telling her that her perfume is making me dizzy, etc. She is genuinely shy and inexperienced, being only 22, though she knows that she is beautiful and looks sexy in her billiards uniform. All of the male and female employees at her billiards parlor treat me as “family”, as if I am her boyfriend, and she herself has introduced me to her mother, sister and brother, so that makes me feel special enough.
Your girl sounds to me to be sincere because she is enjoying your company and going with you to the cinema, chatting with you online without a focus on money or sex.
Good luck to both of us, Anthony! I did bring back some t-shirts from Singapore and USA for my sweetheart and it was worth it because she looks like a million dollars in them and makes me feel like she is my girlfriend when she wears them. We hug and kiss, but not yet on the lips. Pelan-pelan!
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Andy says:
Suryo, I was not referring to you at all. I can’t remember whether you’ve had words with me or not before so please…take a chill pill. Those who have made personal and vindictive attacks towards me know full well who they are. I’ve been accused of unthinkable things here which are completely untrue so of course take some offense.
Brian, noone is suggesting it is only Indonesian women who do this sort of stuff but one must agree they are pretty darn good at it and have a higher percentage than many cultures due to their poverty and I will add the fact that they have held a great disdain for foreigners due to their history of being colonised and with their islamic religion which is not compatible with non muslims. No let’s not blame the girls entirely, their parents and peers have a lot to answer to. How many bules here have been approached for money by strangers some as young as 3 or 4?
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@Andy, quite, yes of course, and not at all.
@Brian, but we are talking about YOUR Indonesian girl, not anyone else’s, and with the greatest respect, we have established that she is a Tom, a Tom with a new sofa and a nice new bracelet, but a Tom nonetheless. I’m sure she is overcome with a multitude of emotions at the moment.
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Odinius says:
with their islamic religion which is not compatible with non muslims.
Got to love sweeping generalizations like this. Maybe you’ve found the religious views of Muslims that you know to be incompatible with your views, but in general, differing religious views are only as compatible or incompatible as the two people make it.
Of course, if someone–a Muslim, a Christian, an Atheist–demands their partner be exactly like them, and the partner doesn’t want to, then yes, it’s a problem. However, not all Muslims who marry non-Muslims are religious, not all ask their partner to convert, and of those that do, many are respectful enough of their partners to let them decide just how much or little they want to practice.
Maybe there’s an argument that, generally speaking, Muslims are less willing to compromise with a partner’s divergent views that, say, Catholics, but I’d imagine most of those Muslims aren’t marrying bules either.
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Farah says:
@ oinkgal
Brian,…No need for the swearing at Farah, she provides such a perfert insight into thinking of the Elitists within Indonesia. Easy to upset, just ask where dear daddies money came from..
So much love from you i could feel that mate !
For your information, daddy passed away when i just celebrate my 16th birthday. He die at age 47. Now you could analyze why i had so much anger toward people like you who think those b*tch better than other people who sell cupcakes or ice or cakes or fried bananas on school canteen. I seen, known girls who done that. Daddy passed away no more love, no one to get new prada bag, new watches or new shoes, or even no car to drive to school. One who sold their virginity for 5 million rupiahs. They are not forced to do so. Maybe some.. but definetly not all.
When you there sitting your fat a*s in your school thinking about which beach to surf after school or mall to go to, or which car your daddy want to buy you on your 18th birthday, i had no time to even think about other thing else than school, to get scholarship and how to pay school fee each month.
I can’t see how you could give advice here. Have you ever live indonesian proverty live before?? have you done what i done or other girls who had pride not to sell them self to stay at school? nooooppppeee. So shut up before you judge more.
@ ET
With my apologies to those in the sex trade that have been trapped in it by force or coercion but there are millions of little people that make a living from boring and menial jobs without taking their knickers off. They are the ones who deserve respect and compassion, not the parasites who come to Bali or other tourist-infected places in search of uang gampang and an easy but useless life and in the process help spread disease and narcotics. Fortunately for each of those parasites there are hundreds of pembantus, cleaning women, jamu and cupcake sellers etc who at least make a positive contribution to build a decent economy instead of preying on testosterone.
……. thats what i am trying to say………..
@ Brian
Oh.. you get this wrong.. ofcourse not all women chase money !
For those independent woment when you say this they will say.. oh for god sake, keep your money babe ! i got mine !
In a relationship should be those mutual giving and receiving, its not only one way. Its not that if we gave something we expect something in return, but thats what we call mutual in every level not all about material here ! its just the same everywhere.
You want your girl respect and love you not only because your money then look for someone that not work for some material stuff only. The girl you love do everything for money, cant you see that ? what made you think she will stay with you if she found someone with much more money? or more cute? or younger?Its all up to you for sure ! if you finish your school and got project here in indonesia you will have more time to observe what we call decent girls who sell fried banana not her self for living !
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Achmad Sudarsono says:
Yes, if it’s true about her Dad, she’s kind of got you there, Oigal.
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When you there sitting your fat a*s in your school thinking about which beach to surf after school
That is a classic, hats (and pecis) off to Farah.
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@ Pak achmad
hehehe i could acompany you to “nyekar” to my dear dady cemetary for sure, its a right time 😉@ Pak Patung
didn’t meant to hurt certain people with same hobby -
@ suryo and farah
My last post was only said because I have really taken just one message from everyone in this forum when it comes to my situation. which is that she wants money, nothing else, which maybe true who knows that only her.
but, im not sending her money/pulsa and if she asks for it then I will not speak to her again and declare to this forum that you are all correct and I am an idiot…she is messaging me each day, i’m not hassling her, it might be different to other situations maybe not.
what I’m trying to say is that all around the world males will get sucked into women and provide them with as much money, pulsa, anything that they desire!
@ Farah, of course this is not what happens in every relationship DUR! if you thought thats what I was saying then check the thought process please, because your response was full of obvious bullsh*t statements!@Suryo
you are so blunt with your posts, very black and white, which may be something I need to learn! however, your posts are just so rude I really ignore most of what you say!
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@ brian
what I’m trying to say is that all around the world males will get sucked into women and provide them with as much money, pulsa, anything that they desire!
wow.. you are a very sweet guy arent you? so you think if a gf said; “honey bunch i want a prada bag, and a diamond bracelet because thats what i desire..” you will give it? awesome ! can i be your 2nd gf ?? aaawww pleeeeeasssse i need more money to buy my self a new cutie toshiba laptop ! (lol)
Maybe what i said just full of bullshit for you now. Like i said its all up to you…
Anyway.. will wait for your declaration on this forum ! good luck sweetie pie…
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@farah
NO that obviously isnt what I think as I have said!!!!!!!! why cant you read what i am saying?
but that is what happens sometimes…..farah..SOMETIMES, as in not all relationships but SOME and if you cant agree with that there is something wrong!
and also i didnt say what you said was bullshit, i said full of ‘obvious bullshit statements’ there is a difference
@ farah
you are just like a bad journalist who finds themselves in hot water!
because all you do is cut bits and pieces out of my posts and reply to them.
its just not the right thing to do farah! -
rifraf says:
Oh Come on…
Brian has a view because he is in the situation where no one else is and so does Farah who thinks differently from everyone else..
And thats the story with each one of us.Can’t we just express views without being subjected to personal remarks and ridiculing the views the other person has?
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Rima Fauzi says:
Man, some of the posters here (even the females) have a very cynical view about Indonesian women. No wonder we are getting crap reputation.
Listen guys (and gals), prostitution is common everywhere, even in *GASPS* the land of the white with their so-called modern technology and abundance of wealth and power, like USA, Australia, Europe etc.
It’s after all the oldest profession in the world and while I do not condone it, I also do not condemn them because I know so many women from poorer SouthEast Asian countries (Indos, Thais, Vietnamese, Pinays etc) who have no choice but to do so for the sake of their family/siblings/children. I commend them still because at least they work for a living and not cheat and steal like so many of our pejabats/ulama in politics etc.
I personally think that choosing to be a prostitute is as much a legit choice as being exported domestic helper to Malaysia/Arab countries with the latter often ending up in a much more scary/sadder situations.
There are also many many girls from nice families who want to better their lives and one of the ways they do it is by trying their darndest to get a man from a better financial situation, and why the hell shouldn’t they? I’m lucky enough to be born from a well to do and educated family who raised me well and gave me the opportunity to live in several countries so that I can broaden my horizon. But if I was born out of a poor family like so many of these girls, I can’t say for sure that I won’t do what they are doing, and if I do I’d be lying.
I try my best not to call these women ayam or pelacur or whatnot, cos if I do it just mean that I’m a snob and I really hate snobs (and indonesian pejabats).
Look, even prostitutes have feelings too, and most of these girls (not the prostitutes but the ones who ask money etc from you) have needs and are most likely blinded by the over exposed hedonistic lifestyles of those in Jakarta, very similar to those in (the greener pastures of) Los Angeles. Just imagine yourself as a hungry african boy who are constantly teased by the rich people with them eating a meal fit for a king and you only get breadcrumbs on the floor. Won’t you get pissed off and think of ways (even ‘wrong’ ones) to get more food?
I know I’m rambling on here, but I don’t appreciate foreigners putting such a low value on us Indonesian girls and I especially do not like Indonesian girls who say the same thing about their peers. You should be so lucky you don’t have to be ayams with low education and speak poor english, but you should not make fun of them as well.
To all the decent guys here who fell in love with an indonesian girl and are having doubts: Just go with the flow, time will tell what’s real and what’s not in your relationship, but use your brains, i’m sure you are all good judge of characters as well. Problems may arise whether you date an Indonesian, Pakistani, Indian, White, Chinese, Aborigin, Martian, Klingon, Vulcans etc, nobody is perfect (well, I kinda am, but I’m taken) and neither are you.
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@Rima, no, that’s not the case, but people do have a cynical view of pro’s, whether Indo or Thai or ….. and I wonder why “foreigners” can’t criticise – I’m not sure where you got the idea that a low value was being but on Indo girls, that certainly isn’t the case, and I’d say that you were a foreigner yourself now too, to add a certain paradox to the debate.
Perhaps it’s worthwhile rereading what was said to Brian, namely that the chances of him being fleeced are extremely high – and what do you want to call a pelacur if not actually a pelacur? That is what she is, and while she has the “right” to lacur, she must accept a degree of loss of dignity – it’s like make money from business that isn’t entirely honest, it doesn’t have the same “feel” about it.
I can also hardly view a pro in the same way as someone who has to go and knock their pipe out doing honest work in Malaysia etc – it’s hardly an honourable profession is it? I think everyone has also got the idea that pro’s are everwhere, not just Indo.I’m pretty sure that you wouldn’t want to go back to your Dad and tell him that you had been hawking your pearly – so it would kind of make the statement that being a pro is a legit choice, it isn’t really that socially acceptable is it? To a lesser extent there are plenty of bule hanger on girls who frequent the expat bars in JKT, a quick shag here, a quick new dress there, it isn’t really that different after all.
This issue is can Brian trust this girl as a normal girlfriend, or is her nature now sufficiently tarnished that she can never be trusted?
Without going into too many boring details, I can speak from a reasonable degree of experience in saying that a mixed marriage can be made to work pretty well, it does take a lot of work from both sides, and it certainly isn’t easy, so I can at least endorse your last paragraph.
@Brian, you’ll recall that you did kind of suggest that you knew it all, I kind of wondered what you were asking for in the first place – if you didn’t want to here about what the pitfalls were, then don’t ask, as it was, no one insulted you, or was rude to you, they were just crassly frank –
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@Suryo.
If that is not the case, then it’s good. But I did say some of the posters, not most or all or many, just some.
I get irritated when people tend to talk smack about women – yes, even when they are prostitutes – as if they are the devil, but say nothing about their johns, for example.I am glad if Indo girls aren’t being put down or given a low value, but from some of the discussion here that I see, people are saying just rude things about Indo girls, or generalise Indo girls as gold digging whores, and Venus knows that the majority aren’t like that. There are gold digging whores in every country (or just whores) with some countries having more than others perhaps due to to their economic/financial conditions.
I didn’t say ‘foreigners’ can’t criticise, everybody can criticise whoever they want, whenever, i just said I didn’t like foreigners thinking that Indonesian women are no good gold digging whores and advertising it to their peers. I know not a lot are like that, but there are quite a few that I know of, most of which have been burned/broken hearted by an indo girl. And I did say I especially didn’t like Indonesian women doing that. That’s just nasty.
Yes, if a girl is a pelacur then of course we can call her a pelacur, but I know Indonesian women (who were at one point of their lives a pelacur themselves) who married high and after sometime began calling other Indonesian girls ayam, making fun of their poor education, their poor english etc. That’s just sad.
I might have used the wrong words, and it’s a given seeing as English is not my mother tongue. I meant that everybody has a right to choose what they want to be, and sometimes the consequences for diong what constitutes as an honest job are graver (is this a word?) then the ‘dishonest’, but that’s the world, it’s hardly fair.
Yes, prostitution is not socially acceptable but poligamy, corruption, taking advantage of poor people etc isn’t either. Thinking about this fumes me, but that is a whole other subject. and yeah like you said, a shag or two in exchange for a new dress or a branded bag seem to be socially acceptable in JKT which is no different to prostitution, and that confuses me.
I did read what was being said to Brian, and he did mention that this girl is a prostitute but he somehow sympathized with her, which is totally admirable to say the least (well I admire him for it) but I was talking about the comments before he posted, which talked about how indo girls are bad, or sundanese girls etc. That’s just not true.
Back to Brian, well I can’t say anything, but there is such a thing as rehabilitated people. It really depends on the girl and on Brian, she could change if she wanted to and if she met a man she could depend on who loves her etc. It’s hard to believe that a person can be all bad or all good (with the exception of some evil psychopaths who tried to commit mass murders/ethnic cleansing/invent evil religions etc)
Mixed marriage and marriage of the same race/culture or even gender can work with hard work from both side, but it aint gonna be easy. I think that at the end of the day it all depends on the individuals and their significant others.
And I am not a foreigner, no matter how long I have lived outside of Indonesia.
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Rima, you speak a lot of sense. There are prostitutes everywhere, even in places like Saudi Arabia or Sweden. People are not forced to do it, but it’s understandable when the alternative is slaving away for scaps.
But let’s also not forget the other side of the coin either. Most Indonesian girls–as elsewhere–aren’t pros, and aren’t even semi-pros. Bules probably disproportionately see those that are, but the perspectives in this thread are overwhelmingly skewed.
So how about those who have dated/are dating Indonesians in the same way they would in their home countries? I.e. without a tip at the end of the night, or a monthly stipend for the kampung.
Mixed marriage and marriage of the same race/culture or even gender can work with hard work from both side, but it aint gonna be easy. I think that at the end of the day it all depends on the individuals and their significant others.
Exactly. But I don’t even think it’s necessarily all that much more work. Culture is just embroidery we put on ourselves, and is only a barrier for those who see it as a striaghtjacket.
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Rima,
thanks a lot it was great to hear from an indonesian woman with those viewpoints and thoughts post on here ! ! ive never said anything about sundanese girls though 🙁-Something completely different now, In my experiences I have only had relationships with women which have met in clubs or generally drinking somewhere. When I was in bali the only indonesian girls who seemed to be in the clubs were prostitutes! to me it seems almost impossible to meet/have a relationship with an indonesian girl who as suryo puts is not a ‘Tom.
For a tourist not necessarily trying to have a relationship with an indo girl but still, if my girl farah was selling cupcakes instead of being a prostitute, how would I meet her? what buy a cupcake and sweep her off her feet..
for non indonesian men who have relationships with indo girls, I wonder how they did meet, maybe through work or internet. For me and generally all my friends we meet girls in clubs! and in bali that means prostitutes. and no doubt resulting in not a ‘normal’ relationship ! !
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shawty says:
AND YES EVERYONE SHE IS A PROSTITUTE AND SHE DOES LOVE THE COCK! BUT I LOVE HER AND HER PUSSY …..GOOD BYE
Brian baby…finish the uni ! and get your self very well paid job (docs need certain amount of money) and bring her to ur country..done..happily ever after…
I know a single, handsome and proper white guy with no baggage marry to an Indo girl with 2 kids and they just happy ( I think ) 😀
So get ur self happiness that u deserve !
hope she also love/want u with all sincerity -
@Rima, foreigner you may not me, but I know for a fact that your perspectives are completely different after an extended term outside of Indo. There is not one of the Indo girls I know from the UK who have not significantly changed their views of the way things are at home –
@Odinius – Is it understandable? or is it like taking drugs for example? Not so daunting after the first try perhaps? It all depends on your moral outlook – I don’t know where the boundary is – I’ve been hard up before, and I’ve conveniently forgotten road tax, and bald tyres, so I can’t moralize too much, but where is the dividing line? There probably isn’t one, but let’s not say for example that stealing is OK, no it’s never OK, but it may be understandable.
In Brians case, he knows exactly what he is getting in to with this girl, and what she does for a living, he has been warned that it is easy to fall into the trap of thinking that you can put everything right – the sad puppy syndrome, where the case is that he may well suffer an extreme lightening of the pocket area.
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shawty Says:
August 25th, 2009 at 6:21 am
AND YES EVERYONE SHE IS A PROSTITUTE AND SHE DOES LOVE THE COCK! BUT I LOVE HER AND HER PUSSY …..GOOD BYEBrian baby…finish the uni ! and get your self very well paid job (docs need certain amount of money) and bring her to ur country..done..happily ever after…
I know a single, handsome and proper white guy with no baggage marry to an Indo girl with 2 kids and they just happy ( I think )
So get ur self happiness that u deserve !
hope she also love/want u with all sinceritySome things may just not be possible in life……
Brian should be aware that it may be very difficult to “just” bring her kids to the US, and in fcat there are quite a number of kids left with grandparents etc while mother goes to another country – just so Brian is aware.
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Kodew says:
@Rima
and I especially do not like Indonesian girls who say the same thing about their peers. You should be so lucky you don’t have to be ayams with low education and speak poor english, but you should not make fun of them as well.
I agree with you. It is just so irritating when women with their high education and good career/job making fun and judging of other women who dont have the same luck and opportunities. It’s funny how people who claimed themselves as people with high education, good carrier etc speaks excatly in a way people they make fun of ;). It will be understandable if those unlucky people did that but as an ‘educated’ person? wow…;)
@Farah
I’m sorry u lost ur Dad at age 16 but I am not sure u were in the exactly same situation like those unlucky people who lost their father, mother or any other family member, I mean as I read here somewhere your father was a PNS right? even the poorest PNS are more lucky than people who are born fakir and miskin. Am sure you had dana pensiun to meet ur basic need (food) right. Am sorry you were struggling for getting into to school etc, believe me you are not the only one, but still we are blessed tobe one of those lucky people. Those unlucky people, mostly DO NOT have any money AT ALL, not even for food for the next day. Let’s not judge if we can not help them.@Brian
I know a woman bak in my kampung who became a prostitute. Her husband died from a car accident leaving her poor with 4 kids, a mother and being 3 months pregnant. She had low education and tried to make money by open small warung but it was not enough then after giving birth she became a prostitute for years and then met a young men who brought her out of the place and married her. They are married for years now and her husband works in other city. One time she back to be prostitute when her hubby was away for work (the family economy situation was bit unstable) but she back to normal life. I know she struggles with her self whenever marriage is unstable not to be back to be a prostitute. What am saying is that people change, even prostitutes. I believe trusting ur heart and giving her a chance to show if she is willing to change is good. Good luck! -
Suryo,
@Odinius – Is it understandable? or is it like taking drugs for example? Not so daunting after the first try perhaps? It all depends on your moral outlook – I don’t know where the boundary is – I’ve been hard up before, and I’ve conveniently forgotten road tax, and bald tyres, so I can’t moralize too much, but where is the dividing line? There probably isn’t one, but let’s not say for example that stealing is OK, no it’s never OK, but it may be understandable.
I try not to be too judgmental. As long as someone can make the decision freely and not through coercion, and the sex is consenting on both sides, then it’s hard to see what the problem is. But I imagine In most cases of prostitution, there’s an exploitative relationship in there somewhere, if not several. In the end, the girls often end up paying a lot for what they do, with HIV, social ostracization or something else. Of course it’s a mutually exploitative relationship with the johns, so guess pimps are the only ones who get through it scot-free. But if the alternative for the girls is starvation, or slaving in a kitchen for a farmer who’s just going to beat you anyways, then maybe it’s doesn’t still look quite as bad.
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Yes, if it’s true about her Dad, she’s kind of got you there, Oigal.
Yea…Ouch.. Its what comes when one leads with ones chin, I was a bit narrow focus and in error with that one there.
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When you there sitting your fat a*s in your school thinking about which beach to surf after school
That is a classic, hats (and pecis) off to Farah.
Only trouble is I was living in a government funded boarding school at age 14. 700km from home as we counted amongst the rural depressed and there was no way university was going to be an option for us sweetie. See.. hard luck stories are a dime a dozen, the difference being I had an option not nice but food was there and eventually I learned enough skills to turn a buck (as did you Farah), many other Indonesians do not have the option. Selling cupcakes ain’t going to pay the medical bills.
Sorry but I can understand if a girl with limited education, perhaps a kid and a mother to care for says “lets see I can sell cupcakes all month and maybe make $100 this month or I can turn 1/2 dozen tricks and make $600 and spend time with my kids. Not nice but understandable and for rich spoilt brats to be looking down on these people simply amazes me.
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@Odinius,
I really have no problem with whatever other people do as long as it doesn’t disadvantage me. So dating Indonesians or non Indonesians in Indonesia or their home countries, spending money on these girls etc, it is their personal choices. Now if it were my husband who goes out and dates girls and spend money on them, that’s another story.. 🙂Marriage is a lot of work, even between two people of the same nationality. I’ve been married with my current husband (who is Indonesian) for 6 and a half years now and only the last year and a half have we finally understood many things about each other. The first five years was just a lot of work.
@brian astaga,
No problem. No, I don’t think it was you who made that comment about sundanese girls. Well, you are young, so go sow your wild oats. But when it’s time for you to settle down and if you are looking still for an indonesian woman who is ‘respectable’ then you can try other venues. But what is respectable? Everybody has their own criteria, right?I think other non indonesian men who have met an Indo girl and are having a serious relationship with them, they either meet these girls through friends, or in a party or at work etc. I know a couple who met at the airport! and there are those who met on the internet and clubs as well. So not all girls in clubs are prostitutes, you just have to train your eyes. (I dont know about bali though, Ive only been there a couple of times)
@Suryo Perkoso,
My perspectives have always been like this since I was very young, and yes, people think I’m weird because of that. But I strongly believe that we should not judge other people because when we do, often we are worse than those we judge.As for Indo girls in UK/Europe/US, many of them changed their views but I also know very many that are the same or have become worse and even more narrow minded than those in Indo. Changed perspectives after living overseas is not a given. In my case, although I’ve lived overseas almost half my life, I think it would not have made much difference if I didn’t. My dad raised me to be open minded (to his standards) and that has made me the way I am, I guess.
@Kodew:
That part you quoted was supposed to be sarcastic. I guess I haven’t mastered the art of sarcasm in a foreign language (or is it because I haven’t written for so long) and it just seemed that I am one of those I really don’t like. lol.But yeah, there is a phrase in Indonesian that says ‘semakin berisi padi semakin menunduk’ or something to that effect which means that the more educated a person, the more he (should be) humble. When I was younger, humble was not in my vocabulary. But now that I’m in my early thirties with life experience that exceeds my years (many people say I’m an old woman trapped in this body) I think that should be the case.
@Oigal,
what’s up? long time no see.. 🙂
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Brian, not sure what you mean…I have no reason to be sarcastic to you as you haven’t been rude or made personal attacks towards me. Anyone in the past (and they know who they are) who i’ve given a spray to has thoroughly deserved it by hiding behind the anonymity of this forum and hurling abuse towards me in a way that would land them with either 1. a knuckle sandwich or 2. legal action against them.
Outside of those cretins i’ve been a perfect gentleman on this forum.
Again Brian, I pity you and the pain which will come your way if you don’t wake up and see whats going on. I’ve seen it many times before and been a victim myself so am in a position to give this advice. I wish I could sit down with a few bintangs (or pots of VB) and explain this in a better way than online.
All the best for you mate….