Dating Indonesian Girls

Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by

Dating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.

Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.

If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.

On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.

Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.

There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.


4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”

  1. bonni says:

    Nay,

    LOL Would you stop the bitterness against the girls! πŸ˜› How’s your adventure now huh? Found one already or still a cassanova?

  2. Nay says:

    There’s no bitterness. It’s just that I’d be stupid to not be a little cynical about everything I am told. One can be too trusting, you know.

    So… have I found “one”?
    I’ve found many! How could I chose one over all the others? They’d all be upset! What would I say? “I like this one more than you, so you have to leave me alone?”

    he he… I am trapped, but in a totally different way.
    I could have worse problems though…. πŸ˜‰

  3. bonni says:

    Nay,

    Alrighty! Be safe! πŸ˜›

  4. frankygth says:

    @nay hey that’s good.
    Off course if you dont feel like choosing continue till you can.
    No need to upset anyone now cozz maybe you upset ur future one.
    .
    @nitro
    Bonny is right, i guess yr girl is bit confused from time to time. As everybodoy.
    See how that develops and in the meantime njoy……
    And church ya, it ca help her but does not say abt what kind of person she is.
    Time will tell

  5. shawty says:

    @nitro..
    I think she is good lady, just young not as young as you thou!
    Talking about unstable I guess you probably as same as UNSTABLE as her
    which is fine..this is life..full of confusion..
    some people didn’t know what they doing (she didn’t know what she was doing until get raped), you ‘may’ didn’t know why you had to kill someone..
    the fact that she was there when u are in big big trouble speaks louder than anything I guess..

    Listen to your heart, use your brain and no regret πŸ™‚

  6. frankygth says:

    hehehe just arrived in JKT. Been away for 2 months….hahahaha
    lets see how it is now…..first some diner now, alone…..then bit of work and weekend still open.
    But weekend always good here πŸ™‚

  7. iamtrevor says:

    love this country, love the great culture, tasty traditional foods. And indonesian girls are beautiful but they can be very confusing sometimes :O πŸ˜€

  8. frankygth says:

    couldn’t agree more. And confusing yesss.
    Lovely also:)

  9. Ken says:

    The problem is that for every one decente western man who is truly looking for a good Asian wife or girlfriend, there are one hundred who conduct themselves no better than pigs or dogs in their interactions with and treatment of Asian women they date, be it Indonesian, Phillipina, Thai, etc. As an old Asian hand who dated for many years and ALMOST married a Chinese lady and who is still looking for the right woman, while admittedly enjoying the short term charms of other ladies, I cannot blame any Asian woman for any kind of hardened or materialistic outlook they may have developed towards Western men.

  10. ken says:

    One more thing, it always floors me when I hear men complain about Asian women being users, possesive, jealous, or manipulative, when many of those complaining lie, cheat, and make promises they never intend on keeping. Its like the pot calling the kettle black. Of course, not all men are like this, but the many who are spoil it for us who try to maintain some level of integrity and honor in our dealings with women.

  11. frankygth says:

    wow ken!! It really black and white hey? And the numbers……1 good vs 10m bad foreigner men.
    Any reference how you come to that conclusion.

    And how does that relate to men in general?
    And how at Asian men?
    curious at that….

  12. jujube says:

    Look how cute that iamtrevor guy is.. hello there buddy

  13. HAYAT KHAN says:

    I AM MUSLIM I LOOKING FOR NICE GIRLS HONEST RICH TO MARRY

  14. stevo says:

    I AM MUSLIM I LOOKING FOR NICE GIRLS HONEST RICH TO MARRY

    There you go girls ! Hayat should provide you with a welcome change from all those “suspect” Bule men. He has clearly provided you with his priorities for romance (even in CAPITAL letters).

    jujube would do well to control herself and move-on from the “confused” iamtrevor. I get the feeling Hayat will not suffer such confusion, when dealing with the ladies. πŸ˜‰

  15. frankygth says:

    stevo, why is sarcasm dripping of yr posts.
    Just imagine, I mean IMAGINE for a sec this guy is looking for a nice girl from Indonesia.
    i understand. Dont you?
    I THINK THAT INDONESIAN GIRLS ARE GREAT AND MAYBE YOU HAVE BAD EXPERIENCE?.
    i Sorry if that is the case because chances for that are close t
    o zero.
    Of course depending on yr awareness and social skills…..

    Maybe I am a bit too enthousiatic abt Indonesia but really sure that any healthy man is able to find his true soulmate.

    And even better the German quality standardssssss

  16. yam2020 says:

    Hi all. it is very interesting topic . I will just start talking about my case.
    Im 35 y Arabic guy who is studying PG in the UK

    I have been dating this lovey little Indo girl since last April 2011 when I decided to take the first flight from London to Jakarta to end up our two months online relationship and start experience reality.

    We had a pretty much perfect relationship for 20 days including plenty of very lovely sex. She was just great (18 and super horny) We get along very much even though we have nothing in common and there is no emotional side in our relationship, and when I back to Uk we kept communicating 24/7 by email, text phone ..Thanks to Google translator ! Ive returned to Jakarta 3 times since for 20sh days. We just seem spend almost all our time in bed unless we’re out somewhere like the cinema πŸ™‚

    now im wondering here how come she is very young (18) and very experienced in bed???

  17. Oigal says:

    Time to wake up now Yam and change hands.

  18. stevo says:

    frankygth, calm down my friend !

    I find Indonesian ladies rather enchanting. Yes I have had some ” bad experience” but nothing out of the ordinary and nothing I can not deal with.

    I also hold German woman in high regard, so I am interested in your closing remark:

    And even better the German quality standardssssss

    Have you tried dicussing this lack of “quality” with the German girls?

    Germans are famous for maintaining high β€œquality” and standards. They are also known for being direct and open about problems. I suggest you tell them about their lack of quality and give them some ideas how to improve. Let me know how that goes….. πŸ˜‰

  19. stevo says:

    We had a pretty much perfect relationship

    Yam, you appear to be a very deep man, those Indonesian girls are spoilt for choices.

    I mean what girl would not want this?:

    we have nothing in common and there is no emotional side in our relationship

    I am surprised you have time for Indonesian girls as you must be fighting them off in the UK and Middle East.

  20. yam2020 says:

    Thank you guys for your comments

    im 100% aware that here i am opening my self up to the criticism which is inevitable.

    Oigal
    Are you recommended a lucky escape! can u elaborate more. put in mind that being with her = the best time in my whole life πŸ™‚

    Stevo

    this angel seems to be very genuine, and what I like most is that she thinks more of personality than looks. So I don’t need ot worry about being tall, fat, having a certain shade of skin, lack of certain facial features (beard or whatever), certain colour eyes, etc. all stuff that has ruined it for me here in London. Im really happy being in such relationship.
    I considered my self a big loyal of Indo people as im very attracted to their culture and heritage. im kind of guy who is really respect all women let alone Indo girls. when i talk about them i tend to lift them up n praise them. How I cant respect a girl who spend an hour in the bathroom just to look good for me? Thank you anyway πŸ™‚

  21. stevo says:

    Good on you Yam. You have a sense of humour. I wish you well. πŸ™‚

  22. bonni says:

    Yam2020,

    Let me make a summary from your story.

    First,

    We had a pretty much perfect relationship for 20 days including plenty of very lovely sex.

    But then,

    We get along very much even though we have nothing in common and there is no emotional side in our relationship.

    The conclusion with question mark,

    now im wondering here how come she is very young (18) and very experienced in bed???

    A very important question,

    How I cant respect a girl who spend an hour in the bathroom just to look good for me?

  23. kshitij1981 says:

    guys,

    show some respect to asian girls, after all itz just their emotion..

  24. frankygth says:

    stevo,
    nothing wrong with germans. Just Indonesian is more interesting.
    Had some quality german girls in the past but after I work and spend much time in Asia my preference shifted towards Indonesian……..
    Hah but its true that German cars are better……

    yam,
    good man. Relax and enjoy….. live is too short to worry while enjoying it!
    18 is young though…..does she live alone, have family, friends, work….
    i mean, d you know anything of her beackground?

  25. yam2020 says:

    Frankygth
    Thanks
    Yes she works as a clerk in a big hospital in Jakarta where I had the chance to visit her a couple of times. I’ve also met her family and have been able to use the international language (signs). Communication is an issue here. She introduced me to them as a nursing recruiter who is in a recruitment mission (I told her so).
    Apart from her good experiences in bed and being very easy and desiring, she looks an ordinary girl. very conservative in dress and manner if in public. I offer her money sometimes and she never said no ???
    Whenever I suggest to go with her to her home, she always agrees and welcomes. She has one phone without any traffic. She goes to work 5 times a week, always at morning, and doesn’t spend a whole night with me.
    BUT she is mostly always online in cupid website!! I asked her to stay away of this site but wont listen.
    Any advice?

  26. Mahen says:

    I have been reading on the net about how many expats claim that Indonesians are very easy, and are wonderful in bed. From my experience here in Indonesia I have had no luck in having ‘intimate physical’ moments with Indonesian women. All the women I seem to know either are taken, very conservative (even the concept of holding hands in public is horrifying to them), or have an agenda against ‘free sex.’

    I am confused. Besides pay for play, how exactly do all these expats manage to get promiscuous women?

  27. stevo says:

    Yam you said:

    She introduced me to them as a nursing recruiter who is in a recruitment mission (I told her so).

    Either you are a nursing recruiter on a recruitment mission….. or your lying? Which one is it Yam?

    If your not being honest with the girl, who can blame her for keeping her options open with online dating. Its not fair on her or her family. Maybe she is not fooled and is happy just having some fun, just as you are.

    My advice is to be honest. You do not have to lie to get some lovin and you will feel better about yourself.

  28. yam2020 says:

    may be i didn’t make my self very clear.
    She knew that im still studying but when we planned to visit her family, she asked me how to introduce me in front of her family so we come up with this recruitment lie!

    I been very honest with her from the first point & was crystal clear that im enjoying being with her & no serious relationship is expected.

  29. Nay says:

    Yam, it sounds like you’re doing all the right things. Being honest about what sort of relationship you want, so she knows what to expect is good…. BUT telling her to not use dating websites is not a place you want to put yourself.

    The thing is, she’s a woman. OF COURSE she’s going to like sex, and women who like sex GENERALLY like sex with different men. That’s par the course. That’s actually really great! I mean to say, there’s a lot of girls out there who don’t want to have sex for whatever misguided reason, so you don’t want to send mixed signals and make her feel bad for it. You want to encourage her to have sex! That’s what you want, isn’t it? (just wear protection, ok?)

    The problem is when men try and wear a red cape and turn into “captain save-a-whore”, and get addicted to the sex, and start trying to “lay claim” on a woman as “their own”, and try telling her what to do (which never works). Then they go around and say how most men “don’t treat women right” because they don’t pay for them like prostitutes, and then go and make women feel bad for having sex.

    …then these men wonder why, when they get married, their wife actually doesn’t want to have sex!

    oops… Karma is a bitch!

    Women know it’s a load of nonsense, they just don’t have much of a voice to speak up about it, because they live in a society which tells them that “sex is bad, free sex is worse, and prostitution is terrible, and the only way out is to have a man to buy her for life in a marriage contract, and then trap him into working for her for a living by messing with his head”…. so she has to hedge her bets and lie to herself and everyone else for her own protection, to maintain her reputation among the men who would “buy” her.

    Is it any wonder that some men have confusing relationships with Indonesian women?
    It’s got a lot to do with how confused the women are by the many varied mixed signals they are getting themselves. They scarcely know what to do, and even then many of them are trapped by religion, family, and broader society.

    …if they want to get laid, they typically have to knock on the hotel door of their foreign boyfriends, and slink back home without anyone noticing. πŸ˜‰

  30. bonni says:

    Yam2020,

    As an indonesian woman, I’m telling you it’s not really normal for a 18 years old girl to be very good in bed and always on cupid sites 24 hours. And she’s already working in a hospital as a clerk, so she doesn’t go to college or something? I can imagine how she will ended up. You don’t even talk to her a lot. For me it’s not something that you should take so seriously. Enjoy it though.

    Nay,

    You’re wrong. Me and my boyfriend have agreed on the terms: if we’re married later I still want it twice a day. πŸ™‚

Comment on “Dating Indonesian Girls”.

Copyright Indonesia Matters 2006
Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Contact