Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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Nay says:
Nay, no offends but no wonder you haven’t found that woman!
Damn it, it’s their job to find me. I’m a busy guy!
Hmmm as I sometimes like being a mystery, so I answer those question by… Blah blah blah, blah blah, blah blah blah.
How about being slammed from behind in the g-spot and losing all mental control?
Damn ladies… you’re twisting my arm to increase the room temperature!
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yam2020 says:
Dear experts
I got a tourist visa as I am presenting at an International conference in Europe this Sep. I wish I can have this chance to spend one week in Europe with my lovely little Indo girlfriend. Any idea how I can get my Indo. girlfriend a shingle visa to meet me?
I am willing to pay for return tickets, travel insurance and accommodation or any other expenditures.The organizational committee of the conference refused to include her name in the invitation letter.
Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated. -
bonni says:
Nay, try to flirt more pricey will you…
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lara says:
I want to have a boylfriend from the west
very difficult to find a boyfriend from the west.. -
shawty says:
@yam
hahah ofcourse they refused to put her name…
if you are european national just created sponsor letter for her
if you non european national she still can apply tourist schengen visa thou may bit little longer to processif you wish she enter by germany : http://www.jakarta.diplo.de/
READ IT UP and google for others if she wants to enter by sweden, netherland etcgood luck and yes GOOGLE IT UP 🙂
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frankygth says:
hello everybody!!! Its quiet overher…..I miss the inside stories
the jucier the better. Anybody? -
Richard says:
Hi well what makes it particularly worse, is the bringing of their children. Me being one of them. I am a guy that my mother was born with a westerner and she did not teach me indonesian or even educate me of the heritage that it holds.
The uk is full of them, once married, they have children who the mothers abandon their heritage due to them enjoying the western life. Mind you my mother is focused into learning english but is that not a worry to the next generation of Indonesians?
I love the country and if i was to go out with an indonesian girl i am sure hope she’s smart enough to go by with a educated life and not just a visa free pass to get out of the country, i dont want a house wife and person that hangs around, i need a brainer with conversations that i will enjoy talking to.
If the expat was clever enough to find a woman out here, im sure hes not dumb enough to find a right girl that will that just wants his money. Are women that desperate to get out of their country?
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Not everyone desperate to get out of their country especially to cold England ha
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bad 2 da bone says:
dicky says ‘ Are women that desperate to get out of their country?’
Indonesia has many poor people, but they eat better & more than the english, the average person has a ready smile & is friendlier than the average euro/western bod. as with most countries u have your lookers & plain janes . but on average the indo guy/gal is better looking & a better heart than the average miserable western (pommy ) person. they nearly all have a motorbike, tv, plenty of clothes, are very industrious to get the small wage on offer. Poms only come alive when they are in a warm climate.
from my experience of living in pommy land for nearly 20yrs (london ) most peeps want out of that cold, miserable, pompous, breadline country.
Don’t tell them i said this, as i don’t want them living in this great coutry, they’d add fuuk all to this culture, & will never learn how to fit in–( same goes for most places they go ).
everyone would like to better their circumstances, & indo’s are no different, many have the idea the westerner could help them with that, not realising most of us are penny pinching tightwads who wouldn’t help our own family if they needed $100. hey but thats the western culture for u.
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yea, isnt England a place to flee from?
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afterthe games ofcourse 🙂
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dicky says ‘ Are women that desperate to get out of their country?’
Not really. They’re happy to be with friends and family in Indonesia, and for the women, it’s nice to have a white guy as a breadwinner. I do stress the word “breadwinner” here.
Some dream of having a white baby. I find that a most of Indonesian girls are interested in having their own man to look after them, if he treats them nice and looks good on their arm. That’s what they want out of you.I could always find good company and conversation, but unfortunately real love is somewhat lacking from many when they want you to “pay to play” only for you to end up with ball and chain. Many of them are ice cold when it comes to intimacy. Sexual repression abounds.
But then I’m more interested in the true love, mutual respect, enjoyable, equal relationship, side of things — so I tend to tick a lot of women off, but I don’t care. There are good ones out there.
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@nay
isnt that normal? Off course you have to thick off over 99,99% of women…….
Otherwise life gets complicated. That is worldwide advisable.
Maybe in indonesia that percentage is lower then in the west.
Actually not maybe, I am sure it is 🙂 -
Well, I quite disagree with this. In my opinion Indonesian girls has become commodity for trade.In fact they have great value to compare,not only from their look,body,face or even their sexual attraction.
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BrotherMouzone says:
@ Yam 2020
“Dear experts”
I assume this was written in an entirely sarcastic manner. Otherwise, God help you…
@ Mr. Bone
“not realising most of us are penny pinching tightwads who wouldn’t help our own family if they needed $100. hey but thats the western culture for u.”
Probably best not to mistake your own personal foibles with the entirety of “Western Culture” (whatever the heck that means. anyway).
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@aradea
I am somewhat agree with you
even the one that not consider her physicall appearance as comodity have to adjust to it little bit to fit in the market and well use it!
hardly white/local fancy girls that not look after her looks or too loud or too aggressive or dominant even thou she has whatever degree from best worlwide uni and great careerIndo girls in these forum may agree/disagree
all well yeah depend on what is your cup of tea
also white boys that think he can get all girls just in a blink
depend on what is your standard I guessthe difference between man and boy is the price of their toys
sadly true 🙂 -
John says:
I made mistake of marrying an Indonesian woman. I loved her and believed she loved me. How wrong I was. While I was overseas on my consulting job she betrayed me. She cleared out one bank account and ran off with another guy. She came crawling back and returned the money. Like a fool I forgave her because I still loved her.
She desperately wanted to get pregnant but she could not, no matter how hard we tried. Finally we resorted to IVF. First we both had to be cured of Chlamydia. I was flabbergasted. The IVF clinic played the STD infection down and gave some weak excuse as to how we might have got it and advised not to get into the “blame game” Her tubes, of course, had to be repaired because they were shot because of the Chlamydia. She lost one tube but still had one left. Doctors doubted she would ever get pregnant naturally.
The IVF clinic rushed us into an IVF program and luckily the first try was successful and we had a beautiful boy nine months later. He is the apple of my eye and I love him more than anything in the whole world.
Then she got pregnant naturally, contrary to what the IVF doctors said. I then had my suspicions confirmed that we had been rushed into IVF unnecessarily. Anyway, be that as it may, working back from the due date I realised that I could not have been the father because I was overseas at the time of conception. DNA paternity tests confirmed my worst fears.
My love for her was sorely tested my feelings for her changed. I no longer loved her, but I felt I could not leave her because of my son. I love “my” new daughter. She is a real cutie. She cannot help who her mother is.
My wife then informed me that she was a lesbian and no longer wanted sex. We agreed to give each other free reign but stay together for the sake of the kids.
Then lo and behold she got pregnant again, probably when she went off to Denpasar to be with her so called “girlfriend”. I never knew that women could make each other pregnant. This must be the first case of human parthenogenesis on record.
This is the final straw and I am starting divorce proceedings. I will miss the kids terribly but I cannot go on like this.
The trouble is that generally speaking only the “good time” girls go out with Westerners. The good girls stay home and generally will go out with Westerners let alone have sex with them, especially on the first night. Most western men do not realise that the Indonesian girls they go out with and marry were mainly “party girls and many of them find it hard to give up their “party-like” life style. I suspect that Chlamydia was rife among them and it plays havoc with the fallopian tubes if left untreated. This probably accounts for the high degree of infertility among the Indonesian wives in Australia.
So this is a warning to all Boles don’t be ruled by your dick. Many Indonesian girls are only out for a good time and to trap a Westerner so they can get out of their very restrictive and poverty stricken country. Think before you commit. Don’t make the mistake that I made. My life is ruined and so is that of “my” children.
That being said there are many nice Indonesian women around. Just be careful. Take your time. There are plenty of fish in the ocean.
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@john
”The trouble is that generally speaking only the “good time” girls go out with Westerners. The good girls stay home and generally will go out with Westerners let alone have sex with them, especially on the first night.””Think before you commit. Don’t make the mistake that I made”
Sorry to hear of your negative experience, with kids involved it gets amplified 100%. I didnt think b4 commit, thats where i went wrong–heat of moment thing/or booze of moment thing.
Last nite i was talking to a bar owner i met on my 1st nite in Bali & knows from that my experience here from start 2 the present ( which i related in one of 1st posts ).he has had the same bad luck with choice of partner, co-owner of the bar, she was having an affair with the security guy from early on (he is no.3 in the Bali mafia apparently ). they tried to take the lot but thats still ongoing.
he never suspected & only found out by accident–a sms meant 2 go 2 the boyfriend wanting sex.
After my initial negative result with my ‘new love of my life’ i went to a website called ‘Crime Scene’ & bought a’ infertility test’ from there.
Its worth its weight in gold to know what is what & has removed doubt from my mind at least a dozen times.
I’m in this relationship apart from other reasons to know what makes makes the S. E. asian tick.
I’m expecting a nasty surprise or two in the future, but for now i know ( or think i know exactly where i stand.i said most of this as an option, for the new ‘kids on the block’ if they have any doubts .
Cheers. Good luck with yor future -
correction on the ‘infertility test’ its meant to read ‘infidelity test’ or in plain language ‘sperm detection test ‘ –used by the FBI.
don’t be surprised if it turns positive/purple. Ha ha– Aint life a bitch .
dont be devastated either–get over it, move on . as the song says ”love the one yor with’Another thing i’ve come across is many guys act rashly when decieved, without taking some time to come up with a plan that would suit them best.
how many guys when they find out blow their lids & ‘throw the baby out with the bath water’ so to speak & storm off leaving everything to the ‘BITCH’.take a deep breath & think it thru, & act when the time is ideal, if yor’ve been decieved & have something to lose, plan how to minimise that, otherwise it’s just a case of ’50 ways to leave yor lover’ ( Paul Simon’).
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So this is a warning to all Boles don’t be ruled by your dick. Many Indonesian girls are only out for a good time and to trap a Westerner so they can get out of their very restrictive and poverty stricken country.
…but they seem to friendly and affable, don’t they?
Some Indonesian women are very good at making you feel as if you are loved… but pull back the curtain on Oz, and a lot of their behaviour really only leans towards exploiting you. Not all of course, that would be unfair,… but more than in other countries I have found anyway.
If you jump up and say you are looking for a wife, or serious relationship — all the rats come out of the woodwork looking for cheese. As a man, you need to carry flowers in one hand and a big heavy stick in the other hidden behind your back (figuratively of course)Sorry to hear your situation, but women getting pregnant with a man they find sexually attractive, and then finding a guy with money to shack up with to look after it, is not an Indonesian thing. It’s a worldwide phenomena dating back to some very primal instincts that are still floating about in our DNA.
It means that humans are not too dissimilar from animals, whereby perhaps 10% of the men have sex with most of the females, and the rest of the men are forced to pose as helpless bachelors and “buy” the women through marriage, pregnant with another man’s child, and trapped into looking after it and her… while the original cad father is free to meet other women.
In this way, evolution speeds up fairly efficiently… but I digress.This is also why marriage was “invented”, to somehow “prevent” this occurence from happening with the threat of an angry god backed up by an angry society with strict morals.
Anyway, marriage doesn’t work in and of itself… which, in my mind, makes it all but useless. If marriage was the norm, there would be need for a celebration party – on par with your team’s victory in the premier league.To that end… I’m afraid to say… that my only role to women is a sexual one and no more. None of that romance malarkey. None of that “together forever” nonsense. I have female friends who share a mutually enjoyable pasttime 😉 with me, for as long as they want to.
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@nay
what happened? A few days ago you were more interested in true love, mutual respect etc etc…….
And now just sex?Besides I try to understand yr opinion that the behaviour you describe is exclusive for Indonesian girls.
I mostly agree to your behavioral theory, but this is human behavior. Not Indonesian……
Maybe you have post traumatic stress as result of personal experience?
Maybe you still dealing with feelng rejected by Indonesian gir?
And now projecting yr bad experience on Indonesian in General?Given the oposite opinions you state and the time you take to explain indicates that:
you are confused on yr feelings and opinion
and your detailed theories is showing you spend much time and energy to deal with your feelings.Its good to realize that.
And I hope you will get over it and find yr love you’re longing for.My advice is to dont exclude based on yr generalisation you show from time to time.
You may exclude yourselfe from findinging yr soulmate.In the meantime enjoy the exploration of whatever you wanna explore 🙂
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NordicGuy says:
As someone who has been married twice (one of them with Indo woman) I can say that 95 % Indonesian (and Asian) women which are open to the idea of dating westerner are often worst than western women..
If they are EXCLUSIVELY dating westerner, run away. Never look back. they are the worst human being you can ever imagine…
You cannot treat Indonesian woman with love and respect the way we (western man) do it, you have to treat them the way Indo men treat them, with respect, love and iron hand. Indo men are respectful toward their woman but they will never think twice of divorcing their woman if they are unfaithful or disobey the husband….because the law (state and religion) and the family was (used to be) on their side. They do not think twice of having younger mistress and/or wife if they can afford it. Partly to show their power to their woman..
In western country, we can never be able to do that. We have already brainwashed since a child that women are more superior than men. The legal and social system in western countries are also heavily sided on woman…
I met Indo woman back in 1995, got married and then as the typical story of westerner marrying Indo girl, my wife cheated on me and run away with another guy in my very own country. Had I stayed in Indonesia, the story would be different.
Now I am happily married with a beautiful French-Moroccan woman grew up in village in west of France. She and her sisters are an angel compared to 98% women I met back in Jakarta…
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saifu says:
I’m looking Indonesian Ladies.
I am working UAE
saifu823@yahoo.com -
@nay
what happened? A few days ago you were more interested in true love, mutual respect etc etc…….
And now just sex?You say that like they are two different things.
In many cases, the only way I know if the woman actually loves me, is that she wants sex with me as much as I want.
Let me explain:-
Many so called “good girls” are just whores with nice personalities. I’ve been on dozens and dozens of dates with so called good girls, and they ask me the same questions that a whore would ask because they’re looking for a traditional provider/chivalrous prince. They want to be pedestaled and adored from a position of female supremacy. They believe the man should pay for everything because the female vagina has a higher value in the sexual marketplace than the male penis, according to them.
The major difference between a good girl and a golddigger is that a golddigger consciously knows what she is doing. The good girl does not. The good girl is brainwashed with innocent fairy tales of romance and traditional chivalry that a barrier of conscious innocence is created between her and her calculating golddigging subconscious. This mental block is precisely what allows her to retain her good and innocent nature, feed the homeless, clothe the needy, and indeed, love you genuinely. But when that conscious mental block of flowers, pink hearts, chocolate covered strawberries, and sex within the physical proximity of lit candles is (god forbid) lifted, a stone cold golddigger is unleashed – which happens usually three years into a marriage or relationship. Many golddiggers are disappointed good girls who have grown out of the fantasy and have reduced everything that Prince Charming does to its lowest practical denominator.
Wait till the “good girl” turns 33 or thereabouts. Then she becomes the matriarchal bitch who rules her provider with gentle nagging, gets him to stop smoking, drinking, or hanging out with Tom because he’s a “bad influence” like a mother because “men are babies.” She’s the one who cooks for you, cleans for you, does your laundry, and irons your clothes, just like she does for the children. This is “benevolent” matriarchy and it is done under a sick self righteous denial attitude of “because I love you and want what’s best for you.”
Now… I would rather be a free man, that under a tyrant who loves me and wants to control my thoughts, feelings, and soul as well because it’s “for my own good,” according to her matriarchal patronizing.
It’s these women who are the first ones to shout to me “you must be bitter”, “Who hurt you?”… when in reality, I’m not bitter at all. I’ve gained experience and understanding, and I can love women but only when my needs are met… and at no other time.
Who hurt me? That’s somewhat patronizing. Every adult person has been hurt in some way. Find me a person who has not been hurt and I will show you a person with a heart of stone not worthy to be called human. -
@nay
interesting…..and funny.
You are right in many ways.However:
With true love comes sex yes.
But even with true sex there is not automatically love….
And yes its normal to be hurt, everybody is and its part of live.
Dealing with it is something not everybody learns…..Enjoy your seach though……and dont mind sharing this….
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With true love comes sex yes.
But even with true sex there is not automatically love….That’s true.
There are some women who use men for sex.
These women, while they don’t really care or love me – but are fun at least. They like me for being sexy, and I could have worse problems!Then there are other women who use sex as a kind of bait to lead the man towards marriage – either by trying to get pregnant or eventually through nagging.
These girls are fun too! Again, they don’t really love me either and are just trying to use me… but I can usually see this coming a mile off. Condoms were designed for women like this. I just keep doing my thing until they do something stupid to reveal that they don’t really care about me – at which point it’s “selamat jalan” for them.Then there are girls who DO love you and really enjoy the sex and are interested in accepting me for who I am and letting me do what I want, while I let them do what they want. No need to discuss marriage or relationships at all, because these independant women understand that trust is the most important thing. We are both capable of looking after ourselves, but we just like spending time together when we have it. We might spend time with other people too – and that’s also great! Nobody feels trapped or stuck together.
This situation works out best of all. 😀
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Hah that sounds good too……
Different choises for everyone.
Just for my curiosity, that is in Indonesia with Indonesian dates? -
Just for my curiosity, that is in Indonesia with Indonesian dates?
Different places with different kinds of people all over the world.
…but yes, Indonesian girls too. Compared to other women in the world, they are very sexually repressed for the most part…. but it’s hardly surprising considering the social environment and contradictory messages it puts out.
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weng weng says:
I’ve bern living two years with an Indonesian woman.It has been ok (not great but just ok) for a few months then it seems that we have been doing nothing but argueing on essential matters like masuk islam,get sunat,who is that girl name on your HP? admit you’ve had sex with the penbantu an so and so on..not to mention that for the last year she was on her periods 27 days a month .no matter how hard I tried to please her that was never enough.
Finally I ended up sharing my bed with my worst enemy on earth.
No wonder why many bule just want one night stands with Indo girls,do you think we’re crazy?
The sweetest kisses turn into snake bites even if you try to be the nicest person on earth,not to mention the neverending lies
There are a few exeptions but that’s just what they are: exeptions.
I even avoid beeing alone with my friends girlfriends even the ones I consider to be good friends of mine as on some occasions it already led me to some terrible situations…
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Great. I also hope he is touched by my concern, as you said, stevo.