Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
-
perseus says:
Aluang said:
The last time your neo Nazi starlet Pauline ended up in goal, was it for inciting racial hatred or fraud? Of course a Brown man would be locked up for telling a little truth. Sorry matey, you chained up the Blackie spear chuckers but Brown man knows silat kuntau.
Dear Aluang,
The Brown man may know silat kuntau (a form of Malay self-defense apparently) but this is entirely irrelevant to his ability to speak the truth…
Pauline (so ten years ago) Hanson was gaoled for electoral fraud but acquitted on appeal. Compared to you, she was a Sunday School moderate and proponent of racial harmony. She stood for the Senate in the 2004 and 2007 elections. She got about 4% of the vote. And your point is? How out of date your grasp of Australian politics is?
It seems lately that the tired old torch of racism is being waved around inanely by Brown chaps who know jack such as your esteemed self.
Suggest that you wake up to yourself and have a nice day…
-
Aluang Anak Bayang says:
I said:
Sorry matey, you chained up the Blackie spear chuckers but Brown man knows silat kuntau.
perseus reply:
The Brown man may know silat kuntau (a form of Malay self-defense apparently) but this is entirely irrelevant to his ability to speak the truth”¦
Blackie will be chained for telling the truth; but Brown man will fight back. Understand?
Re
I wrote:
Ozzies throw children overboard.
perseus reply:
Make that kind of comment in dumb Ozzie land and you would be thrown in gaol for inciting racial hatred.
My point is:
If your Nazi starlet can get awy with comments like ‘Asians create ghettos’ and ‘swamped by Asians’, why should a Brown man be locked up for saying “Children thrown aboard”.
It seems lately that the tired old torch of racism is being waved around inanely by Brown chaps who know jack such as your esteemed self.
Suggest that you wake up to yourself and have a nice day”¦
Better get rid of Brown men who knew too much.
G’Day.
-
mike says:
I married an Indonesian girl, I paid all her legal fees to living in the USA. Exactly 6 years later she divorced me leaving me Bankrupt with over $260 (USD) in debt. She was highly combative throughout our marriage and my word of advice to any person thinking about marrying an Indonesian girl is to be very cautious. A majority of the people living in Indonesia feel that anyone living in Indonesia from outside the country is fare game; meaning, if you let them, in general, they will take full and complete advantage of you and there only goal is to get as much money from you as they can. If you don’t believe me, see for yourself and just consider yourself warned. Good luck!
-
dewaratugedeanom says:
Aluang said
The Melayus and Balinese are sub-Javanese. Javanese are Mojopahitans. We are of nobility lineage, and we are level-headed.
I beg to differ. At least the Balinese preserved the Majapahit heritage when almost all of Java gave in to Islam.
But I agree with Janma and Achmad. Balinese men are probably the most spoiled species on the planet and it’s the women who actually keep the island going.
And as far as style and beauty is concerned, nothing in this world comes near a Balinese legong dancer.Never say anything bad about Balinese women in general or you’ll find me on your way. 🙁
-
Assalamualaikum dewaratugedeanom, may Allah swt bless you.
I beg to differ. At least the Balinese preserved the Majapahit heritage when almost all of Java gave in to Islam.
No, Javanese Muslims still make beautiful cravings of Hindu Goddess and keep Wayang Kulit. There are cultural differences between Madurese, Sundanese, Bugis and Javanese pre and post-Islamic. There is no such distinction between a Balinese and a Javanese pre-Islamic period. A Javanese residing in Bali is called Balinese. A Balinese is as Javanese as batik Solo. Get the fact right.
-
Aluang wrote:
The Melayus and Balinese are sub-Javanese. Javanese are Mojopahitans. We are of nobility lineage, and we are level-headed.
You don’t call a Korean or Japanese ‘Chinese’. They are sub-Chinese. Chinese don’t go on shooting rampage in school. Korean do.
Pakistanis and the Bengalis are sub-Indians. Paki rapes and murder their own daughters to be good muslims. Indians don’t.
Kiwis and Ozzies are not English. Kiwis are sub-English, whereas dumb Ozzies are half-baked homo sapien. Ozzies throw children overboard. English people do not.
Hope it’s clear enough.
Your racism and bigotry, dipstick Aluang, is implying that Malayus and Balinese are sub-Javanese and that Koreans and Japanese are sub-Chinese and that Pakistanis and Bengalis are sub-Indians and that Kiwis are sub-English and that Ozzies are at the bottom of the pile.
What is clear is that a Javanese called Aluang has his arrogant noble-lineaged level head so far up his own ass he cannot see daylight.
What is clear is that no matter how much Aluang ducks, weaves and brings political hasbeens and third party distractions into the argument that right here and right now he is a racist bigot. He can point to 6 billion other racists and bigots if he can find them. He is still one himself.
-
Eddie says:
Hello I need some advise.
I am dating a Indonesian/Chinese girl, she has been living here in the USA for
1year, I like her a lot. I need to know how to impress her, what gifts should I buy her
what are the things not to do. I just need to know what do I need to do to win her over. -
rfgs says:
Mohammed, thanks for the advice.
My point though is that I am not the type of guy who picks up a woman in a shopping-mall or on a campus, I like to know somebody before going any further.
Isn’t there a scene in Jakarta where the more educated hang out, where a good conversation is appreciated?
Getting girls isn’t difficult, am good looking, tall and whatever girls like in a guy, as they say “clean” and stylish.
The relationship that i want is one that should last, not the short kind of relationship. -
Tony says:
Dating an Indo/Chinese girl–hmmm. If you want to impress her just take her shopping at the most expensive stores and when you see that she likes something then buy it for her. After that take her to eat mie (noodles) with pork. Later in the evening find a disco where the waiters sell ecstasy and feed her about 2-3 pills. Make sure you order lots of water. After tripping you can find someplace at 5:am that sells bubur babi (rice porridge with pork).
Take her home have wild sex and a nice sleep. At about 1:00 pm or 2:00 pm take her for Yam cha (dim sum). Afterwards drop her at home and tell that you are off to collect money from one of your renters (whether you are a property owner or not). By this time she will be very impressed and ready to move in with you.
-
@ perseus
My dear POME. Is that the best insult you can come up with? Regardless, I can still trace my lineage back to Mojopahit nobility, not unwanted trash from Mother England.
@ Tony
If you have to spent a fortune, it is bad advice.
@ Eddie
Skip the rest of Tony’s advise and go straight to the pills. Usually it works. Try with a pack of cigi first.
-
My dear POME. Is that the best insult you can come up with? Regardless, I can still trace my lineage back to Mojopahit nobility, not unwanted trash from Mother England.
English is obviously not your mother tongue. Go easy with the use of sub- before a nationality. It makes your prose read like Mein Kampf.
Of course if you want to say all Bule are untermensch – don’t be shy – just come right out and say so…
And naturally, we shall be delighted (not) to vacate our convict possessed lands to provide lebensraum for the forthcoming delusional empire of the who the f*ck are the Mojopahit – sorry never heard of them – should I have??
If you want to look like some kindergarten level version of Goebbels or Hitler, don’t let me stop you… your prose, your choice and your problem…
-
English is obviously not your mother tongue. …
Wow .. is that a new discovery.
-
Janma says:
First aluang said this…..
The Melayus and Balinese are sub-Javanese. Javanese are Mojopahitans. We are of nobility lineage, and we are level-headed.
And then he says….
There is no such distinction between a Balinese and a Javanese pre-Islamic period. A Javanese residing in Bali is called Balinese. A Balinese is as Javanese as batik Solo. Get the fact right.
So…. hang on…I’m confused…. the balinese are sub-javanese or they are as javanese as batik from solo? Or maybe batik is sub-javanese?
-
Darn Janma .. Bules were not eagle eyed. Next time you don’t open your mouth.
Mbak bercanda aja lo .. LOL -
Aluang is playing with everyone–I am guessing that he either lives abroad or has lived abroad and now resides in Pondok Indah smoking sabu2 🙂
Anyone that used the word “cigi” has definitely been other places.
-
Anyone that used the word “cigi” has definitely been other places.
is that right Tony? and what sort of places are frequented by people who use the words “smoking sabu2”? Pray tell!
-
Janma
🙂
-
Mohammed Khafi says:
Janma said:
is that right Tony? and what sort of places are frequented by people who use the words “smoking sabu2″³? Pray tell!
The same sort of person who says:
Sodom and Gomorrah was a city in the bible that had anything and everything for complete sinning. It kind of sounds like Jakarta or Batam. In Jakarta you can go to any disco in North Jkt, order ecstasy from the waiter (what a country), order a woman from the Mami and then rent a private karaoke room for having fun. There are also underground casinos that you can gamble at for entertainment. The best part is that you can pay an off-duty cop or better yet, off-duty kopassus member to guard the door while you have a very wild time. Then, you can go to one of many “after-hours” hotels that has both porno and loud house music in the rooms. This type of evening is primarily available to those who speak Bah.Indo. and in North Jakarta.
I have been to Bangkok, HK, Shanghai, Shenzen, Sydney, Las Vegas, Amsterdam, you name it-nothing is like Jakarta. But if we are assigning a modern day city to the definition of Sod. and Gom. then Jakarta is the closest thing in the world-that is not necessarily a bad thing depending on your choice of “refreshing” activities.
Not the sort of person that you would want your daughters to be involved with I think!
-
Lairedion says:
Tony says:
It almost sounds like you are describing Sundanese women. They are wild, sexy and into fantasies-but they also love to spend money. I have not yet met any Javanese girls that fit your description but there is always a first time.
If you want to enjoy nightlife and wild times I suggest you try the Sundanese women-the best are from Bandung, Subang, Bogor and Kuningan-not necessarily in that order. The women from Sukabumi are beautiful but tend to go sour too quick.
Luckily I didn’t meet the Sundanese woman Tony describes so vividly here! Reading his comments he is a man of the world and knows to take care of. Trying women to enjoy wild times. If they’re not to your satisfaction I guess you dispose them in some kind of garbage bin.
Not the sort of person that you would want your daughters to be involved with I think!
Couldn’t agree more.
-
I wonder how much Tony spent so far. As per your advice you gave to Eddie, see below:
Tony Says:
January 12th, 2008 at 11:05 pm
Dating an Indo/Chinese girl-hmmm. If you want to impress her just take her shopping at the most expensive stores and when you see that she likes something then buy it for her. After that take her to eat mie (noodles) with pork. Later in the evening find a disco where the waiters sell ecstasy and feed her about 2-3 pills. Make sure you order lots of water. After tripping you can find someplace at 5:am that sells bubur babi (rice porridge with pork).Take her home have wild sex and a nice sleep. At about 1:00 pm or 2:00 pm take her for Yam cha (dim sum). Afterwards drop her at home and tell that you are off to collect money from one of your renters (whether you are a property owner or not). By this time she will be very impressed and ready to move in with you.
I have never ever spent that much for any chick. Usually it is the other way round. In Oz land, mostly sweet talking do the trick, otherwise a drink on me or even a fag. Those with beach floaties on their waist, I would have to shoo them off. I was never short of ‘dangdut on bed’ while I was in college.
-
Lairedion
Don’t worry, once you stop hanging out in gay bars you might actually meet some women.
Aluang
I can’t believe what I am hearing. I thought you would go to a uni like GM in Yogja. By going to an Aussie uni you are buying into the argument that Indonesian schools are inferior. I thought you said all things bule are perverted and screwed up.
Janma
Jangan marah2–next time we will invite you to the disco ;D
-
@ Tony
Dumb Ozzie can’t think beyond Cape York.
‘In college’ doesn’t mean I had my education in Oz land. I was also ‘in college’ with cultured Swedishs and Canadians. My secondary school years was spent in Singapore, then continued with my family tradition within the TNI. I was on a training (part-time spying) program sponsored by my Mojopahit government on your sacred grounds – Pucka, Kapooka, Bandiana, etc. Our TNI-AD team was on the same league as the elite Gurkha your government loaned from the British; and we trained with them, not the wussy ADF. We use M16, not your modified accident-prone Austeyr. In between my spare time, I did surveillance and reported back to my embassy. Nothing exciting to report about, Oz land are ripe for the taking anytime. Probably the last bastion of resistance, if any, would be in Ipswich. This is out of topic, otherwise I can write a few more paragraphs on Oz’s boy scouts (ADF).
-
Tony said:
Lairedion
Don’t worry, once you stop hanging out in gay bars you might actually meet some women.
I know you can do better than that. Try again. But hey you’re a lawyer. What could I expect?
-
Invisible me says:
Hey all,
i came across this site and couldn’t hold my self not to response. As they say, THE MORE THE MERRIER!
Christian Single mom of 2 angels from local Moslem’s guy, never got married because of the Indo gov rule (and of course; he f*cked up)
After fighting hard with many idiots Male/Female Indonesian Personnel Dept trying to ‘nasty trick or looking with prejudice eyes’ on me for my NOT MARRIED single mother status, successfully work my ass off for years in the expats community which can actually be open mind to professionally hired me without thinking me as AYAM.
Traveled by works and by adventuring passions, along the way…dated few white guys, locally (in indo) and abroad from various meeting backgrounds; work colleagues, backpackers travel buddy up to bar mates.
Wanted to upgrade life to become hell rich women in jakarta. Fought with the ‘unfair situation’ towards white management of giving lower salary comparing to ‘imported’ expats with the same level of work pressured. Frustrated with local rules, went for job abroad and became snob decent paid expats with lovable tan skin angels act like ‘hard to get’ princess in white country guy.
Finally, given up choosing the status of living peacefully with less then 2 percent tax as a decent single mom in the community rather then almost 30% tax with drunk nite out almost everyday,end up alone in luxurious apartments with no ‘real honest’ friends, keep getting broken heart and too far away from family.
Now, steadily live with retired ‘expert dirty bule man’ expat in jakarta, he was married 2 times before, single father to his own and includes his ex wife (previous marriage) kids for many years, paid all the child support. He was sick and tired of ‘pretending not acting like ayam’ indo women, and cautiously notice my previous back ground ‘dealing’ with bules expats. Unfortunately he was a really sincere ‘single parent’ buddy throughout my “life,love,lust” trip, as i did to him.
Now, working from home, continuing build and sell computer application just for pocket money 😛 since almost one year now been fully support by him, I finally reach my dreams: “ABLE NOT TO WORK TO SPEND MY TIME WITH MY KIDS” after some long discussions and agreements.
Not thinking to get another passport, still working on to backpacking around the world with the kids and him.
We still arguing about;
Im unable not to ask him “do you want me to get you something?” every minutes as my mother taught me how i MUST look after my man. He said sometimes I made him feel having a maid then his own women.
I still seldom pissed to his questions of “how much did you spend for your internet bill?” and still tears of feeling offended even after he tried to explained he just want to post the monthly expenses.
From expats, mixed couple, Jakarta or abroad, ‘Ayam’ and High Tax,
i just call it cultural deferents… -
Lairedion said
I know you can do better than that. Try again. But hey you’re a lawyer. What could I expect?
At my Uni we had the choice between two possibilities. One of them was to study. The other was to become a lawyer.
-
Alryan says:
I’ve been reading these comments for so long, I can’t even remember what it was that I was originally looking for. It certainly had nothing to do with what is offered here, but it’s such an interesting topic I decided not to throw my computer through the window in a fit of rage. Some of the comments made on here – from both ex-pats and Indonesian, men and women – are really wonderful and astute. Sadly, most of them seem troubling. I’m not trying to judge or sound pretentious, but it’s hard not to say/write something in response to some of the ignorance, sexism, and perhaps racism that seems to be presented in this forum.
I love Indonesia. I’ve been fascinated with the place for most of my twenty six years on this planet. Just looking at the country on a map makes me wonder why I seem to be the only one within my social sphere so interested in the place. After spending six months cycling through Sumatra and Sulawesi, I have come to appreciate the country even more. I plan to go back and see as much of Java as I can by bike the next time I’m there and then hit up Sulawesi because it’s incredible – heaven on Earth. Who cares, right? Well I just think that seeing a place by bike is a very different window into a country’s society, character and yes, it’s women.
Something that bothers me about this site is the generalzations made about not just women, not just Indonesian women, and not just Indonesian people, but all people. I’ve had a wide mixture of experiences with women in Indonesia – some bad, some good, some really confusing – but I don’t regret any of them. I would imagine that the variety of experiences I have had with the women there is perhaps but a small indicator of the variety of ethnic, cultural, social, or religious groups that a woman could come from in such a vast country. And then there is the whole concept of individuality which (please excuse my generalization) seems to go largely unnoticed on this site. My point is that in my experiences traveling in Indonesia or anywhere else in Asia, it is dangerous to lump people into categories and make generalizations about them. Dangerous and lazy.
The generalizations don’t stop at Indonesian women though; they’re also made about ex-pats. Just as it should go without saying that not every Indonesian woman is after a green card or money, it should go without saying that not all ex-pats find themselves in places like Indonesia for cheap sex or because they consider themselves less than worthy in their countries of origin. I take personal offense to that. I traveled to Indonesia multiple times in a fulfilment of my life-long dream. As I said, I love this country. I have had one-night stands and I’ve also had a serious relationship in Indo, but I didn’t travel there to take advantage of my relatively lighter skin, larger frame, or “bigger wallet”. I traveled there because I was a person fascinated by the country an ALL it has to offer.
I give credit to the guys who must be fathers writing on this site when they say, “Not the kind of guy I would want my daughter dating.” These comments should be seen as red flags – reminders – that the women who inspired the incarnation of this site are people. Anyone wondering, you don’t woo an Indonesian girl with ecstacy or lies, and I wouldn’t suggest “pork” porridge either. Those are probably good ways to land yourself in jail or on the receiving end of a major ass kicking, though. Some of the people here have honest questions or suggestions about Indonesian women. I say to you guys thank you and please do not listen to some of the simple-minded words here on this site. I don’t think these people speak for the majority of men interested in Indonesia and its women or for the people from Indonesia.
On last thing to this Aluang guy. I hope to God that you are just playing with everyone and you don’t seriously feel this way. If you do, then you are nothing more than a very average and typical military prick. There’s nothing even remotely special about you. Your lineage, whatever that may be, has nothing to do with what you do in ths world or how you change it. Your ignorance does. I know you think it’s funny to say what you do, but it’s not. You are ruining your country’s cultural heritage by using things like your lineage to tear down other people. You are ruining your country’s image. And your bigotry is polluting the blood of your beautiful country. You are nothing but a shame on your people and your nation. I thank God that there are so few of you people left in our world. You are a dying breed.
-
lili says:
How does this thread turns from dating Indonesian girls into racism war?
I have a friend who married an American. He was her English teacher and they waited for years before getting married because my friend’s parents disagree with their choices. As far as I know from their relationship, she felt secure in their relationship (that her BF didn’t just dump her whenever he got bored) and her BF respected her, because they didn’t just jump into bed in their first date. On the contrary, her BF waited YEARS until she felt comfortable enough (Indonesian who is religious still thinks sex outside marriage is a sin).
From her story, my advice to the foreigners who are looking for sincere and not gold digger ladies out there is to see how easy they are for sex. And for native girls out there, don’t marry the bule that’s only pressuring you for sex.
As for me, the reason I am interested in foreigners is because I’m an agnostic, a freethinker. It’s very hard for me to find a non-religious man in here, but I’m not opposed to having a native BF either if he’s not religious.
For people who convert to any kind of religion just to marry a girl/guy. THINK AGAIN. This is not America or Europe where religions are just label. People here DO practice them, well, religiously.
-
Friend Alryan,
The nail must has hit hard on this Oz Bule. Six months of unproductive cycling while on the dole, or perhap you’re feeding on compensation from a workplace accident. It would be interesting to hear the side of your story.
Peace.
-
John says:
I’ve been dating an Muslim Indonesian girl for 5 months now. We met here in Australia, Sydney.
I’m going to have to say that she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. We both love each other greatly.
It’s funny because I would’ve never expected myself to get involved with a Muslim girl mainly due to the religious diligence that is usually associated with being Muslim.
My girlfriend while she was staying in Australia did not follow the stereotypical trend of practicing the religion. She wore no headscarf and she drank alcohol
Yet initially she was quite clear that she could not have sex until she was married and that she was still a virgin. As it turns out back in Indonesia she is a very strict muslim.
I’m not sure what compelled me to continue with the relationship after she told me this (maybe her beauty and innocence), but god I’m so happy now that I didn’t break up with her then. Now 6 months on I can say that I’ve never been as intimate with any girl as often as I have with her. Her sex drive is out of this world and I sometimes struggle to keep up.
I’m certain now that I will marry her quite soon, and I’m aware this will require me to convert to Muslim. I have researched the religion enough to know that it can make me a better person. It will certainly make my girlfriend happy, and I couldn’t want anything more.
On a more negative note I’m not sure if it is common among all Indonesian girls, but I find my girlfriend to be quite materialistic. She comes from a relatively rich family and she is studying commerce. She puts great value on money and has high ambitions.
Also occasionally she teases me in ways which make me slightly uncomfortable, and she finds it humorous. However I do forgive her as she insists she never means any harm by her teasing. She can also be quite demanding and expect you to treat her well all the time.
Lastly I’m quite possessive by nature and I found myself getting annoyed taking her out as she was frequently hit on and she seemed to enjoy it. This was my biggest worry with her initially; my fear that she might cheat on me, or try to find a “better” guy. But we both fell in love with each other and new I see that she can be very loyal.
Comment on “Dating Indonesian Girls”.
Related Stories
Copyright Indonesia Matters 2006-2025
Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Contact
@ Tony
Keep the lies coming. It is entertaining. Ask your friend to try countries like Pakistan, Iran and all ME countries. Indonesia is a drop in the sea.