Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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Cukurungan says:
@ John
I think it’s time for you to start reading Al-Qur’an and live up to your girlfriend’s expectancies.
Qur’an 4:34 “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them, refuse to share their beds, beat them; but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, Great. ”
Qur’an 4:15 “And as for those who are guilty of an indecency from among your women, call to witnesses against them four (witnesses) from among you; then if they bear witness confine them to the houses until death takes them away or Allah opens some way for them.”
Once you’re done with that you can switch to hadith. Then the real fun begins, I promise you.
Good luck to you.
Not bad for a New Muslim Convert.
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Mustang says:
Hi, I visit Indonesia often. I would like to meet single or divorced indonesian women for companionship during my stay. I am very attracted to indon women as they are so so beautiful, graceful and womanly!
I was in Solo recently and fell in love with the town. I need a cewek now; pretty soon for mutual benefit.
Cheers.
Mustang -
Dodie says:
All you stupid pribumi women always talking about Islam. All of you need to report for training at 1001, Sun City or Sands. We Chinese own your country–chances are you and your family work for us and are our pembantus. All the stupid talk about Islam–just get on with your lifes as our servants and everything will be fine. After you divorce you become cewek malam anyway why bother with marry–just go straight to mami for training.
Remember, we still have all the money lah. your daughters will always be our mistress never good enough to be our wives like pure chinese women.
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Bogalakon says:
Dodie,
what makes you’re really upset?
is it because bule prefers brown pembantu girls than a pale chinese like you hah? -
Farah says:
All you stupid pribumi women always talking about Islam. All of you need to report for training at 1001, Sun City or Sands. We Chinese own your country-chances are you and your family work for us and are our pembantus. All the stupid talk about Islam-just get on with your lifes as our servants and everything will be fine. After you divorce you become cewek malam anyway why bother with marry-just go straight to mami for training.
Dodi, please don’t use “SARA” messeges. U seemed take this very personally aren’t you ??
Not all chinese girls are rich, in Sumatra several Chinese family have to sell their daughter to person you called mami to buy food, dont be “katak dalam tempurung”. You’re really shallow ! this is a global matters wether they were pribumi, chinese, western, gold diggers are everywhere. -
Count Nomis says:
This was supposed to be a site regarding dating Indonesian girls and a couple of morons have turned it into some sort of religious obsession. Pretty soon they are going to be demanding sharia and start advocating stoning people who don’t agree with their twisted view of the world. Even at this distance I can tell that they smell of the cemetery.
Oh, and another thing, your bullsh*t about bules being all sex perverts is just that, bullsh*t. You’ll find as many perverts (and decent men) in Indonesia as you will in other countries. In fact, Indonesia has one over on Western societies in this fact: many of the government employees are corrupt and steal money and take bribes just so that they can support a second or even third wife. In fact, the other day, I actually saw some morons giving each other (I’m not making this up!!) Polygamy Awards. I swear it’s true, I swear it, I saw it with my own eyes! And I laughed. So, morons (you know who you are), don’t accuse all bules, or most bules, of being perverts.
As for the Javanese being so superior, a friend of mine said it well: “The Javanese are the Chinese’ dogs.” So put that in your pipe and smoke it!
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Shawty says:
Hmmm Bogalakon, your comment quite funny..but frankly speaking I’m kind of that girl..
I drink..not wear hijab..not doing intercourse…but still can have fun with guys..and I do believe in ISLAM..hmmm and for your information there’s lot like me..here in jakarta.
Ages around me..
I’m not shy to admit it..we call it realistic old fashioned girls!
nothing wrong with it..we just having fun a little when we still young 😀
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Bjorn says:
Hi I am an european guy, have been dating a Indonesian girl for a year now, I was in an relationship when I meet her and I still are. I have been travelling to Jakarta a number of time the last year for meeting her. I have problem braking up with my other girlfriend because of I feel sorry for her if I breaking up with her, in the end I know I have to if I am serious with the indonesian girl. But now suddenly the indonesian dont want contact with me again, even she say she love me and always will she say. I am confused and realy in pain because she dont answering my mail or phonecall. I know I am bad in a way myself, but my intention with her was serious all the time, I just needed more time for finishing my other relationship. But I compleatly hooked on Indonesian girl now, and will consider to meet another if I get singel again. She was crazy,funny,bad,nice all in one time. I misssing her so much and I am thinking I can not living without her. I am an living in Singapore and are rich, quite good looking and have a lot of offer from other girls here, but I am not interested. I feel very strange how this girl completly can twist my brain. This girl sendt me to heavan and then to hell, where I am just now. What can I do to forget her?
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Aluang Anak Bayang says:
Mustang Says:
February 26th, 2008 at 8:36 am
Hi, I visit Indonesia often. I would like to meet single or divorced indonesian women for companionship during my stay. I am very attracted to indon women as they are so so beautiful, graceful and womanly!
I was in Solo recently and fell in love with the town. I need a cewek now; pretty soon for mutual benefit.
Cheers.
MustangYou cheap skate thinking you can get laid with decent Indonesian cewek for free. The best way to get companionship during your stay is to pay for the service. There are many brothels around town. Ask the taxi drivers or the porters at your hotel. If you are planning to stay for a tad longer, consider nikah mut’ah (contract marriage). It is Islamic licensed prostitution. The cheap Arabs used this service.
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I compleatly hooked on Indonesian girl now, and will consider to meet another if I get singel again. She was crazy,funny,bad,nice all in one time. I misssing her so much and I am thinking I can not living without her. I am an living in Singapore and are rich, quite good looking and have a lot of offer from other girls here, but I am not interested. I feel very strange how this girl completly can twist my brain. This girl sendt me to heavan and then to hell, where I am just now. What can I do to forget her?
Bjorn, I think you have problem with finishing something. Your thing with the other girl, before your indonesian girl is not over yet, and now you short of saying you are consider to meet another (if you’re single again). REALLY finish one relationship before you start another would you ??
One girl is complicated enough (as God create us, “complication” is on our DNA) don’t ever try two or three at same time, unless its for fun.
You will hurt your self. Cause you still thinking about previous relation when you are in another new relationship, whether with Indonesian, Singapore or any nation girls. -
Bjorn Says:
March 2nd, 2008 at 8:17 amHi I am an european guy, have been dating a Indonesian girl for a year now, I was in an relationship when I meet her and I still are. I have been travelling to Jakarta a number of time the last year for meeting her. I have problem braking up with my other girlfriend because of I feel sorry for her if I breaking up with her, in the end I know I have to if I am serious with the indonesian girl. But now suddenly the indonesian dont want contact with me again, even she say she love me and always will she say.
If I her I will do the same.
She was crazy,funny, bad,nice all in one time..seems she has everything.
So why she must wasting time with guy that not 100% for her.
Replacing guy like you must be easy for her.Seems you also has everything.
Handsome, rich and etc etc except “single” statusBut still ,not every indonesian girls like to destroy other people happiness.
So finish one before you start another.
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Yes, I agree I have a problem. I am not defending myself. I know I was wrong but I already very early told her I had another girlfriend, I was never lying, but my feeling for her I can not control anyway. Seems like she already have found another boyfriend. So you right she easy can get other men. But I still love her and will miss her very much. So if I get single , I hope I can find a girl like her again.
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Seems like she already have found another boyfriend. So you right she easy can get other men. But I still love her and will miss her very much. So if I get single , I hope I can find a girl like her again.
Bjorn dear,
Get over it first ! let her go. Once if you really find these new girl, you will start comparing her with this first Indonesian girl that you have crush with. Give your self some time to forget, and heal (i’ll call that broken heart).
If you really into serious kind of relationship, you will find a girl for you, some girls really do like a sincere guys (without any shadow of previous relationship !!). -
But I compleatly hooked on Indonesian girl now, and will consider to meet another if I get singel again.
Bjorn,
Seems like that Indonesian girl has stolen your heart. But it would be better to get over her first before you meet other girl (Indonesian or other nations).
Rebound relationship usually doesn’t last long.
Just my two cents 🙂
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Thanks for good advices, I realy didnt know it could be so hard to broke up with sombody. But its seems like I am not the only person have been true this thing. Its helpful to know.
I have to find some thing else to think about, if not I getting crazy, so I have found out I will buy a house in Bali, is there anybody know a good location there. I have only been there once, but I loved it and would like to living there for a while. Hope sombody can give me some useful information. Thanks for all your reply, it realy help me to move on. -
dewaratugedeanom says:
@Bjorn
From your name I guess you are from Sweden. You should know that Indonesian girls differ a lot from Scandinavian ones. Indonesian girls are more vulnerable and prone to feelings of inferiority. That’s why they have to be constantly reminded of your love and care. The best way to achieve this is by showering her with presents. You being a rich and handsome man living in Singapore I suggest you to let her borrow your credit card for a week or so. I bet she will rush into your arms again.
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dewaratugedeanom,
You being a rich and handsome man living in Singapore I suggest you to let her borrow your credit card for a week or so. I bet she will rush into your arms again.
Good point LOL
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Yong's says:
I want to tell the story of LOVE. This is true story. 4 years ago I meet the girl. I think that girl can give everything her lovers to me. But that something what I think is definetly wrong n all wrong. That girl not only broke my heart but she broke my love who I give her all my love and all my heart to heart to her. She already know that my heart and my love not to belong a long to her. So she betray my love and my heart to her. Don’t you that’s are really paint my feel? So for all who read this masseges. Don’t ever believe 1000% that’s your love will be great.
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Bjorn,
I suggest you to think and think and think…… about buying a house in Bali unless you will stay in there. If you like Bali, just stay in a hotel or rent a condo. My uncle who has Dutch nationality and lives in Holland bought a house in Bali several years ago, after about two years he sold it because he could not find good and honest people to take care the house. This is only a suggestion, the decision is yours. Have a blessed day! -
She already know that my heart and my love not to belong a long to her. So she betray my love and my heart to her. Don’t you that’s are really paint my feel? So for all who read this masseges. Don’t ever believe 1000% that’s your love will be great.
Yong,
What do you mean by that she know your heart not belong to her? you cheat on her first ? if you did so, no wonder then. Woman mostly ask for a secure relationship, need to be sure that she was loved each and every day. NO NEED to give her present all the time, or your credit cards, surprise her each and everyday with words of love and action for sure. Its not all about money.
If she does stay with you its because she feel the same feeling, she will stay not because her “feeling” about your presents or your credit cards.
This is the kind of ..i would say man mistake. We love to be pampered and spoiled, but just present or money only wont keep us long beside you. Need some action to proof your feeling and its not all about the money.
If you still think this way still do (presents, money, fancy stuff, etc) when you broke, you have lots of credit card debt, she will go ASAP to a new guy that have double platinum cards.
Love just like dark chocolate, bitter and sweet, but you could have addiction to it. That’s why people said “… fall in love..” fall is going down, the feeling maybe is just like the moment between the falling and the ground where you about to fall and when you hit the ground it will hurt you. So, yes.. i think no body would said love will be ALL about fun stuff. -
Bjorn,
Foreigner can’t own a property in Indonesia, the law is that you have to follow the 90 years lease, unless you have Indonesian wife. But once Indonesia woman married to a foreigner, she can’t own a property either. A good friend of mine told me about the situation.
Correct me if I’m someone knows better.
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Dustin says:
I’ve been chatting with one for a week or so; she seems nice enough and I admit that I haven’t met in her person like many on this site have, or have claimed to. But even just in chat there are several indicators that are throwing “red flags” so to speak.
Ok, who talks about getting married, after only chatting!?!?!??!! wtf?!?! Not even talking on the phone yet! Haven’t in met in person yet!!!!! Just chat for under a week. That’s a bit crazy, and she keeps telling me to come there; almost demanding it.That just seems a bit nuts.
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naturalbeauty says:
Dustin… how did you find those girl? Online dating site or what?
Seems very clear what she want is finding the guy to marry her asap.
Maybe she have such crisis age? how old is she btw?
I have no idea why they wanna marry with stranger?? That’s bit funny.haha -
Dustin Says:
March 5th, 2008 at 4:22 amI’ve been chatting with one for a week or so; she seems nice enough and I admit that I haven’t met in her person like many on this site have, or have claimed to. But even just in chat there are several indicators that are throwing “red flags” so to speak.
Ok, who talks about getting married, after only chatting!?!?!??!! wtf?!?! Not even talking on the phone yet! Haven’t in met in person yet!!!!! Just chat for under a week. That’s a bit crazy, and she keeps telling me to come there; almost demanding it.That just seems a bit nuts.
Dustin,
Dear oh dear, hahaha. I think she is really like you. Maybe she’s a “new comer” in the chat world. So naive and so … not understand whats internet world looks like.
I know several girls that really believe that chat room i s a really good way to find husband. Its not that i know several friends that did success find their husband online, but there’s many feel broken heart either.
A small attention like longer chat time, and good conversation, that you gave to them, made them thinking you like them very much that you willing to come and marry them asap.
Obviously she is a new comer to chat world (never chat before). You like her, do chat with her again. You think she just a nice FRIEND then say it to her so she wont hope so much. -
sunny says:
Hi all, this is an interesting topic. I really liked it. I am an Indian national and I am a non-muslim guy. I am unmarried and I love an Indonesian girl. She also loves me a lot. We want to marry with each other. But there is a problem. She is a muslim girl. Her mother is ready for our marriage. Many times I make international calls to her and talk to her. We also chat a lot during day time. She want to marry me and want to come to India to live with me as my wife. Can anyone suggest me how to go ahead for the marriage. I really love her a lot. Please help me to marry her. Hi ecky……..can u give me any suggestions?
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sunny Says:
March 7th, 2008 at 4:56 pmHi all, this is an interesting topic. I really liked it. I am an Indian national and I am a non-muslim guy. I am unmarried and I love an Indonesian girl. She also loves me a lot. We want to marry with each other. But there is a problem. She is a muslim girl. Her mother is ready for our marriage. Many times I make international calls to her and talk to her. We also chat a lot during day time. She want to marry me and want to come to India to live with me as my wife. Can anyone suggest me how to go ahead for the marriage. I really love her a lot. Please help me to marry her. Hi ecky”¦”¦..can u give me any suggestions?
Love is blind. I am happy for your decision to marry her. My suggestion is don’t rush it. Especially if you had religion difference, as far as I know its not allowed in Indonesia for a moslem girl to marry a guy that not from the same believe.
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Stig says:
Hi. I married with an Indonesian girl in 2002. We had known each other for a year and visited each others families and countries before we married. By the way, I’m a Norwegian man 25 years old.
After we had married, our plan was to go to Norway together and live here for a few years, before trying to buy house in Java and live there. I had my job in Norway (I’m a sailor) so she agreed to come with me. After 2 months she started crying every night, she didn’t go out, and she tells me she was homesick. This just continued and got worse by time, so we agreed that I would buy ticket for her to go home and visit her parents and maybe stay there for a while. She didn’t agree to return to me before 5 years later. I sent her money every month, she just asked more and more, and I asked when she was going to return, and she replied she had problem with papers and so on. But finally she came back in july 2007.
We had been calling each other and writing letters and txt on cellphone for the last years almost everyday and she always mentioned how much she love me and wanted to come to norway soon and make babies and family and stay with her husband. When she came she went behind my back and told everyone, my friends and family that I had forced her to marry me and wouldn’t let her go. She manipulated my best friends to hate me in only 1 day.
She is a very sweet looking girl and when she start crying its really hard to not want to take care of her and help her. She didn’t even care to celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary only 8 days after she came back to me. All the letters and texts about love and that she only still alive because she love me, it was just empty words. Maybe to keep me sending her money. In the end I had to let her go home again. She cried and tried to hurt herself. She didn’t, but it looked scary cause she was shaking like no control to her own body and screaming and biting her fingers saying she wanted to just go home. I really cared and loved for this girl all these years. And I couldn’t keep her in our new apartment when she was so unhappy.
So I let her go back to Indonesia in october 30 2007. I cried for so long. Until 1 day, the wife of my best friend came to me, and told me everything about my wife. My wife had trusted her secrets to my friend wife. The money I had been sending my wife all the years she was away from me, she had spent them travelling to bali and singapore to see her 2 boyfriends there. She had sex with them regulary when she was visiting.
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Hi Farah, I am happy that someone read my message. Thanks a lot. I asked the same question to her mother. She said that I will have to convert into Islam first if I want to marry her. Is this the only way to marry a moslem girl in Indonesia or there is other way also? I really want to marry her and I love her a lot. Last night when I called her, she was crying a lot, she want to marry me and she said if our marriage will not take place, she will die. We are in deep love.
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@ Stig Johnny Naustdal
This is the most tragic story about expat that I ever heard. I am serious!
I am sorry for you and your sadness.
I think she had problem with her brain. She just like have split personality or so. I am little bit upset to hear this kin of story cause it took me years until now to find a good, trusted man to have my own family, and some girls just ditch them to sewer of good girls haters. Atta girl…. (sigh)
Please, not all Indonesia girl that bad… wrong place, wrong person.
I also won’t say all Indonesian girl are nice. I see my self.. how my boss, he is a Canadian married with a kampung girl from Java. She cheat on his back and went to Thailand and singapore with two different guy. They divorce for a week, he love her so much, he forgive her, but.. wow.. what a true story that made me ..sad.
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@John
Yes we still together… well, not really together because he is working in Australia and i work in Indonesia. We text each other everyday, sometimes mails. Sent post cards, talk thru phone.
Not the first time i had an expat bf. The first time with American student, we meet at student exchange while he is here in Sumatra for summer program at 1999, i work at an English course to cover my University fee. It work for 4 years. Never regret it. He even sent engagement ring and ask me to marry him.
He did respect me as a moslem, also means no sex. I just want to wait, so i ask him to slow down and just enjoy the relationship. Until he almost finished his medical school, we broke up. He also not from a very rich family, i ever talk with his parent thru phone, and his brother too. When hes about to finish school he spent time less than before with me.. no phone call, no, text, for like a month..so.. i think thats it. He did call me at the end, but thats how its over.
We send mails to each other sometimes. He already married now and had a baby girl.
Its just about the choice John, do you willing to do things such as waiting for sx, and to be a moslem for her. If you don’t think you can’t somehow….let her go….