Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
-
John says:
Farah,
I’m curious, how was your long distance relationship with your boyfriend?
Did you talk everyday? How did you manage and how long did you have your LDR?
I will have to wait probably 6 months before I can see her again, and it’s pretty tough. After the few moths apart I have already lost some feelings for her. I’m also beginning to doubt some things about her and we have more arguments online chatting now…
I know I still love her but I fear that given another couple of months we might break up (and it will probably be my decision). It saddens me. I also find it tough to not cheat on her. I guess just because I’m a very sexual person. It’s the last thing I want to do but I’m afraid I might 🙁
I’m wondering if you guys are still together? If not why did you break up?
Also wondering if you are you Muslim? -
Lairedion says:
I also find it tough to not cheat on her. I guess just because I’m a very sexual person. It’s the last thing I want to do but I’m afraid I might
No worries John, you should convert to Islam and than it’s ok to have more wives…
-
Mohammed Khafi says:
Tut… Tut…. Laredion!!!,
The rules for marrying more than one wife in Al Quran are very clear, it has to be to give support to war widows and orphans, not for sexual purposes! Those people who have more than one wife are not Muslims although they may profess to be such, unfortunately this is another way that the original teachings of Al Quran have been corrupted by the predominantly male, so called, Islamic, so called scholars.
Peace
-
Aluang Anak Bayang says:
Tut”¦ Tut”¦. Mas Khafi!!!,
Well, that was Arabs’ solution. This is Javanese solution:
We provide for their sustenance instead of hurrying them off to be married. War widows and orphans – don’t they suffer enough. It would be traumatic for them to have to open their legs after losing their loved ones.
Peace.
-
Mas Khafi,
I know your points of view. I was just trying to help John here. The poor guy is losing out on his Muslim Indonesian girlfriend and has troubles to control his sexual desires. I was providing an accepted Islamic solution here. Mainstream Islam has many wonderful solutions for fulfilling male sexual needs. Polygamy and contractual romance like in Puncak (some form of sanctioned prostitution) to name a few.
Although Mas Aluang has great skills of throwing out baits and a twisted sense of humour I like very much he does have a valid point. Unfortunately unmarried mothers and widows are still considered whores and sinful in great parts of the world, not only the Muslim world. The solution Al-Quran provided was not necessarily an Islamic one but more practical to protect the widows and orphans against shame and losing honour. Too bad this culture is still prevalent in the 21st century.
John, from what you’ve written here I think your relationship is facing some difficulties. Being friends might still work but this all will change when you marry a Muslim woman. She wants you to convert to Islam. You said before she’s a strict Muslim then be prepared for its consequences. John becomes “Yahya” and suddenly strangers are obsessed with your moral behaviour and start to mingle in your private life. Your wife will cover her beautiful hair and will hide her body in an old-fashioned Arab style desert dress which was trendy some 1400 years ago and we all know Indonesian women are beautiful when wearing sarung and kebaya which are timeless. Moderation does not exist in mainstream Islam. It’s a little bit Quran and lots of sunnah, hadith and dogma’s. Muslims with common sense like Mohammed Khafi can tell you more about it.
If your love is strong enough then go for it. But think twice about the consequences.
-
@ Lairedion
Gee, no offence but I think you do need an injection of Javanese blood.
Unfortunately unmarried mothers and widows are still considered whores and sinful in great parts of the world, not only the Muslim world. The solution Al-Quran provided was not necessarily an Islamic one but more practical to protect the widows and orphans against shame and losing honour. Too bad this culture is still prevalent in the 21st century.
Widely documented history of the Middle Kingdom (China), war widows and orphans were protected and sustenace provided. In the Malay world, war widows and orphans were looked after. I can name a few more.
Practical? The quran is for all mankind to follow till eternity.
According to various hadiths, immediately after raids and killing the male captives, Arab men would rape war widows; our beloved Prophet Mohammad pbuh would choose the prettiest and ‘make love’ on the same day the husband was beheaded. You would think the widow immediately felt in love with the person beheading their loved ones, but the hadith ain’t going to fool a Javanese man.
-
@Aluang
Gee, no offence but I think you do need an injection of Javanese blood
Thanks but I’m happy with my 1/4 of Javanese blood and I never feel offended.
Widely documented history of the Middle Kingdom (China), war widows and orphans were protected and sustenace provided. In the Malay world, war widows and orphans were looked after. I can name a few more.
Well could be. I do not have knowledge of that. It’s the 21st century now and widows and their children in many societies are shunned, abused and exploited. I don’t need to be full Javanese to acknowledge that. In rural areas of Nepal and India, widows may still be expected to shave their heads, sleep on the floor and hide from men for the rest of their lives. In Afghanistan, where two million women have lost their husbands in decades of fighting, widows are prevented from working and have no way to provide for their children. In Tanzania, among other countries, the legal system makes it difficult for widows to inherit their husband’s property. But tell me about the situation in the current Malay world?
-
The solution Al-Quran provided was not necessarily an Islamic one but more practical to protect the widows and orphans against shame and losing honour.
We are talking about ‘practical’. Marrying them off was and will not be a practical solution, especially when the husband was tortured and beheaded by the same man going to marry the widow the same night. This is the solution provided by an all-knowing God for all mankind to follow well beyond the 21st century.
It is unJavanese to support that idea. We agreed pedophily and incestry are halal in Islam but we do not follow it through. We know apostasy is punishable with death but we disregard it. We know Muslim should have Arab names but we don’t care. Brother, our visionary Indonesian forefather adopted Islam but detoxicated it with Kejawen for good reasons.
-
Thanks brother Aluang. I will keep that in mind. But there’s still a lot of work to do to bring back all Javanese back to Kejawen and Kebatinan. The cancerous Arab disease is spreading fast through Nusantara….
-
Odinius says:
Moderation does not exist in mainstream Islam.
Maybe not in Saudi, but loads of Muslims I know in Indonesia, in Bosnia, in the US, in the UK, in Sweden practice “moderation” in their daily religious lives. That’s an immoderate generalization, bro.
-
Odinius,
Mainstream view is there is only one Islam which virtually all Muslims refuse to call moderate yet there are many different interpretations and ways of practising by Muslims. That’s what we’re both trying to say, isn’t it?
-
I personally know loads of lax, non-practising and practising-but-think-religion-is-about-your-personal-preference-not-essential-truth Muslims in Indonesia and elsewhere. Enough that I’m very skeptical about the idea of there even being a mainstream when defined as broadly as “adherents of Islam.” What’s “mainstream” in Malang, Jogja, Banda Aceh and Sambas are all really different from one another, not just in terms of individual practices, but also how uptight people are about it…and that’s not even taking into account cross-cultural or cross-country variation. In Saudi it’s haram to drink; in Bosnia it’s haram not to drink. They’re both Muslim countries, but in one drinking is mainstream and in another forbidden. 🙂
-
Hmm, you might want to check this thread on IM
Moderate Islam & Moderate Faith.
Some more links:
-
MEMRI is hardly a credible, unbiased source though, is it. Nor do I find the whole “find the extremist and tar the lot with the brush” approach terribly nuanced, factual or accurate…
-
@ Odinius
Let me put this in perspective:
Islam was attractive to the Malay race because of promises of carefree lifestyle afterlife. We are ‘relax’ people and prefer plenty of nongkrong in between works, the lesser work, the better. However it ends there. We do not believe in world domination and killing daughters. We embraced the ‘luxury’ chapter only, and discarded the rest.
The Bules converted to Islam (mostly) for one reason – sexual perversion. Sex with a child is okay if you are Muslim, sex with kambing is also okay if you kill it after a one-night stand. Islam also allow 4 wives and unlimited sex slaves. Getting rid of your old wife Islamic certified is easy, just say “talak” 3 times. I do not think the Bule converts are interested in world domination and killing daughters either. They embraced Islam for ‘sensous’ reason.
One has to understand that mainstream Islam promote pedophily, incest, wife-swapping, wife beating and world domination ambition; however absurd they may seem to people of other faith; a true Muslim will not question what their creator wanted. Even if they might seem immoral, as long as it is halal-ed by Allah swt, it is divine. The rest of the world’s 1.3 billion Muslims (minus Indonesian and Bule converts) are mainstream. There are no moderate or radical, simply ‘True’ Muslim.
-
Cukurungan says:
Tut”¦ Tut”¦. Laredion!!!,
The rules for marrying more than one wife in Al Quran are very clear
It is very clear that the the muslim man is allowed to marry more than one wives full stop without manmade “Mr Khafi verse” addition
The Bules converted to Islam (mostly) for one reason – sexual perversion. Sex with a child is okay if you are Muslim, sex with kambing is also okay if you kill it after a one-night stand. Islam also allow 4 wives and unlimited sex slaves. Getting rid of your old wife Islamic certified is easy, just say “talak” 3 times. I do not think the Bule converts are interested in world domination and killing daughters either. They embraced Islam for ‘sensous’ reason.
Hey folks please listen carefully and bow to him, otherwise the Baso Man will chop up your head and make it to become ingredient of baso special made in Aluang Anak Bayang.
-
Laredion,
Well what you say might be partially correct but my perception of “strict” Muslim may not be in line with yours. I must confess my knowledge of Islam is at a fairly basic level and thus I cannot make accurate judgments. I do question my girlfriend is some ways regarding her belief, such as her desire to take off her head-dress (she has been thinking about taking it off for a while now), and some other things. I’ve come to understand now that she wishes to marry a “good muslim” to keep her “in line”. She wishes to have a husband that can put her into place basically. I’m not sure given my background I can be that guy, as much as I love her.As for the comments from Aluang Anak Bayang about Bules marrying/converting just for sexual-gratification, there are plenty of non-muslim women here in the western world that are more than eager to satisfy a man sexually without requiring any such conversions.
Also why is it that a lot of young muslim guys wish to marry their muslim girlfriends (of 2 months) just so they can have sex. Hmm.
No wonder the divorce rate in Indonesia is the highest in Asia Pacific. -
John,
Excuse my harsh comments but I’m just in awe! You really need to wake up. Just some copy-pasting from your comments:
My girlfriend while she was staying in Australia did not follow the stereotypical trend of practicing the religion. She wore no headscarf and she drank alcohol
Yet initially she was quite clear that she could not have sex until she was married and that she was still a virgin. As it turns out back in Indonesia she is a very strict muslim.
Her sex drive is out of this world and I sometimes struggle to keep up.
What are you doing? Having oral and anal sex in that way she stays a virgin or will she like many Indonesian girls stitch her vagina to restore her virginity?
I have researched the religion enough to know that it can make me a better person
I must confess my knowledge of Islam is at a fairly basic level and thus I cannot make accurate judgments
😕
She comes from a relatively rich family and she is studying commerce. She puts great value on money and has high ambitions.
She can also be quite demanding and expect you to treat her well all the time.
I do question my girlfriend is some ways regarding her belief, such as her desire to take off her head-dress (she has been thinking about taking it off for a while now), and some other things. I’ve come to understand now that she wishes to marry a “good muslim” to keep her “in line”. She wishes to have a husband that can put her into place basically. I’m not sure given my background I can be that guy, as much as I love her.
Before marriage: “I’m a woman and I want respect. I want to follow my ambitions and to live my dream. Being well-paid for this is more than welcome.”
After marriage: “My Muslim husband can do whatever he likes as long as he keeps me in line and puts me into place. I should listen to and obey him unconditionally.”Who on earth wants to have such a woman? She’d better marry an Gulf Arab who are world famous for keeping women in line and putting into places.
John, I really don’t want to offend you but you deserve a better woman.
-
@ John
I wonder if you are already a Muslim (a ‘True’ one) who cooked up this fairy tale to make a point. I am afraid your nose is getting longer and your pant on fire.
-
Lairedion,
Well you put it bluntly. I’m beginning to see her that way too 🙁
I’m still quite young and relatively inexperienced with such things so maybe I’m just blinded by love (as stupid as it sounds). I wont go into too much detail with our private sex life but lets just say I was pleasing her orally more than any other girl I’ve been with before (I love going down on a woman). Thats not to say that she didn’t return the favor.
It was just surprising to see her sex-drive was off the charts (maybe because she was longing for it for so long?).Aluang Anak Bayang
I’m far from even being an average Muslim (just looking at my drinking, sex, and living habits), I’m non-Christian, non-religious, non-believer as you would call it. I do consider myself agnostic at this time however.
Last time I checked this forum was about “Dating Indonesian Girls”, I thought I would comment with my experience that is all. 🙂
Besides if I were a “true muslim” would it not be a sinful to fabricate such a story? Although thinking again, the morality of lying is probably one of the most confusing aspects of Islamic thought, or so I have read. So who knows? -
@ John
I believe you are indulging in sexual fantasy. Some people enjoy writing and collecting erotic tell-tales, and I believed this to be your past time fetish. Nothing wrong, it does no one harm. I enjoy reading it 🙂
-
Hehe you’re a bad judge of character, thats for sure 😉
You obviously haven’t read any erotic tell-tales (I do believe pornography is not accepted in islam eh)?Thats beside the point, you have not answered any of my queries? Why is that?
Cat got your tongue? -
I would not answer something that you could goggle search. Sorry, I don’t do babysitting.
-
I wont go into too much detail with our private sex life but lets just say I was pleasing her orally more than any other girl I’ve been with before (I love going down on a woman). Thats not to say that she didn’t return the favor.
This is great stuff but don’t get carried away too much. Women are notorious for faking orgasms.
Well you put it bluntly. I’m beginning to see her that way too
That’s a done deal I guess or is there more you’d like to share?
-
Women are notorious for faking orgasms.
That is only a hooker who want to entertain you but the good woman will always pursue the real orgasm for her own goodness.
-
dewaratugedeanom says:
@ John
I think it’s time for you to start reading Al-Qur’an and live up to your girlfriend’s expectancies.
Qur’an 4:34 “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them, refuse to share their beds, beat them; but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, Great. ”
Qur’an 4:15 “And as for those who are guilty of an indecency from among your women, call to witnesses against them four (witnesses) from among you; then if they bear witness confine them to the houses until death takes them away or Allah opens some way for them.”
Once you’re done with that you can switch to hadith. Then the real fun begins, I promise you.
Good luck to you.
-
That is only a hooker who want to entertain you but the good woman will always pursue the real orgasm for her own goodness.
If the good woman happens to be a victim of clitoridectomy, a type I form of Female Genital Mutilation (FGM), there’s nothing left to pursue for.
-
Bogalakon says:
It’ interesting to see John’s comments on her girlfriend
She wore no headscarf and she drank alcohol
She is quite materialistic
She has been thinking about taking it (head-dress) off for a while nowHer sex life, According to Jhon:
“”¦”¦ I was pleasing her orally more than any other girl I’ve been with before “¦. Thats not to say that she didn’t return the favor.
It was just surprising to see her sex-drive was off the charts (maybe because she was longing for it for so long?).And after all:
She wishes to marry a “good muslim” to keep her “in line”. She wishes to have a husband that can put her into place basically.”
Ckckckck”¦.
May God protect a good Muslim from this kind of girl.To be Honest, I am sick of this kind of people who thinks that they can do “Muda foya-foya, Tua Kaya Raya, Mati Masuk Sorga”
And to you, Jhon who is
“..far from even being an average Muslim (just looking at my drinking, sex, and living habits), I’m non-Christian, non-religious, non-believer “¦.I do consider myself agnostic”¦.”
I will just tell you some of verse from Qur’an
“Women impure for men impure, and men impure for women impure and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity: these are not affected by what people say: for them there is forgiveness, and a provision honourable.” An-Nuur : 26
And
“Let no man guilty of adultery or fornication marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an Unbeliever: nor let any but such a man or an Unbeliever marry such a woman: to the Believers such a thing is forbidden.” An-Nuur : 3
Or in my own words:
“A b**ch like her is only for a b*st*rd like you”
-
It’s interesting to see Bogalokan’s comments on John and her girlfriend.
Ckckckck”¦.
May God protect a good Muslim from this kind of girl.To be Honest, I am sick of this kind of people who thinks that they can do “Muda foya-foya, Tua Kaya Raya, Mati Masuk Sorga”
And to you, Jhon who is
“..far from even being an average Muslim (just looking at my drinking, sex, and living habits), I’m non-Christian, non-religious, non-believer “¦.I do consider myself agnostic”¦.”
I will just tell you some of verse from Qur’an
“Women impure for men impure, and men impure for women impure and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity: these are not affected by what people say: for them there is forgiveness, and a provision honourable.” An-Nuur : 26
And
“Let no man guilty of adultery or fornication marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an Unbeliever: nor let any but such a man or an Unbeliever marry such a woman: to the Believers such a thing is forbidden.” An-Nuur : 3
Or in my own words:
“A b**ch like her is only for a b*st*rd like you”
in relationship to my “warning” to John.
suddenly strangers are obsessed with your moral behaviour and start to mingle in your private life
That’s the way of mainstream Islam, John. Get it?
Comment on “Dating Indonesian Girls”.
Related Stories
Copyright Indonesia Matters 2006-2025
Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Contact
John, i had a long distance relationship to with a guy in perth. Its hard to say, but you need to give more trust. If you do love her as much as you write here, love is just like sand the more you want to grab it the more youre going to loose it.