Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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Laurence says:
Horas Farah!
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venna says:
It just seems like most American girls care about the money and glamor more than they do the man they are actually dating… IS this less common in Jakarta?
_____________Nothing less here or there when it comes on discussion about money, I think. Everybody loves money, just their level that are different. Some obsessed and some are pretty satisfied with what they got. Some use it to fill blank spot in their life; some use it for better goal. Their methods to make money also different; some work hard, some scamming, some corrupt.
But, unless you never know women before or you are too naive, it is easy to be a prey everywhere, not only in Asia. Duh, isn’t it actually obvious which one is scammer and which one is not? I don’t get it if someone spend much time observing something like that and spend less time to try recognize the opposite.
I cannot stop laughing. It reminds me of one guy named Indcoup (if I’m not mistaken) that wrote about the type of Indonesian girls. He wrote something about it, and while some of his observations were correct, he missed one important point: he only observed a small part-and only in specific place, of female population in Indonesia. He missed a lot of good stuffs 😉
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okay, let’s pretend:
indo chick from jakarta moves to america, because of her bule boyfriend. then later they break up while somewhere in this big america a young good looking handsome intelligent and above all honest romantic american is fed up with american girls because they are only after chasing money. so he tries to find one in jakarta soon.
pfffffff, which american girls? native american girls? filipino-american? chinese-american, vietnamese-american, african-american, caucasian american, italo-american, persian-american, libanese-american, serbian-american, georgian-american, cuban-american, porto-rica-american, et cetera?
but, i’m not here to bash people, albeit maybe only arabs who want to have an easy hand on my sista’s.. 😉 so let’s dream on:
yes in the bule bar at jalan jaksa in jakarta there are plenty of indo girls who don’t chase for money, especially not for american dollar money, oh no, they are there just to really love a western man to death, they only care about true romance and want to find a man to whom they can give all there love while asking nothing in return, certainly not american dollars!
indeed, american girls, i’ve had it with those selfish money-minded biatches! a long time ago i’ve studied for a half year in north carolina, the bible belt area, and even there, with the omnipresence of the word of god, it didn’t prevent them of being greedy and money-horny instead of tender loving caring oh no!
thus, try your luck in jakarta! peace y ‘all
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ET says:
@ deta
“Don’t go trying some new fashion
Don’t change the color of your hair”If so, then why are you always changing your gravatar? Btw I like your tree gravatar. At least it stands for something more valuable than the display of female narcissism of some others.
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deta says:
If so, then why are you always changing your gravatar?
G’day, my favourite alien. All my gravatars only show the nature of Indonesia (that happens to include me). But wait, displaying the face in gravatar doesn’t necessarily mean narcissism. It can instead be a display of honesty about your true identity. Depends on the angle from where you look at it (and the angle from where the picture is taken). 🙂
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But wait, displaying the face in gravatar doesn’t necessarily mean narcissism. It can instead be a display of honesty about your true identity.
Not necessarily if Michael K., our resident Asian Human Behaviorist expert is right. 🙂
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brian A says:
Asian Human Behaviorist expert
only in his dreams! yes I agree with most he says. however, an ‘Asian Human Behaviour expert’ is he joking or not? lucu 🙂
*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&and where is Adam and Riniss?
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lialita says:
where is everybody ?? you guys need a break for these conversation that will ever ending..good.. just enjoy your weekend, then see what comment will be show up on monday..
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i am in amsterdam now, and i will go to milano italy this weekend (lialita sounds a bit like italia hihi), and then the 21st of may i will fly back to indonesia again to meet my family!! yeeessssss
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Sometimes weekend is the best time to start a riot here. So anyone who still has grenade leftover, is welcomed to participate.
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@lcvs have a nice weekend to you, yea my name bit like that country, or maybe similiar with the airplane .. but for sure, im trully indonesian. just like venna , tini , and many hot girls who ever participate in here..
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hi lialita! matur nuwun! but i just returned back home from the amsterdam schiphol airport, due to a vulcanic ash cloud which comes from iceland the airplanes don’t leave for northern italy today.. hopefully besok.. but maybe it’s jalan hidup because actually my ancestors also lived for centuries long high up near gunung semeru.. maybe that’s the reason why i like hot girls who really can burst out like a raging vulcano hahaha vulva and vulcano sounds a bit the same hahaha
ehm venna i don’t really have a hand grenade, because i already sometimes wear a beard which makes the bule scared 😉 but what i like about MY asian girls they are so playful and can be so romantic in the sense of himmelhoch jauchzend und zum tode betrübt.. really like cats haha suka kucing
well, let’s not generalize too much, i mean, i noticed it only seeing my indo girls and cantonese hon..
anyway, for the bule asian human behaviorists & co. who want to manage the relationships with their indo bar girls and kampung ayam or perhaps chinese-indonesian trust fund babies (haha i bet the bule can’t date this) i can recommend you this book:
management and cultural values. the indigenization of organizations in asia. edited by henry s.r. kao, durganand sinha, and bernhard wilpert, first published 1999.
work ethic in an islamic view, but also bushido, a comparison between work patterns of japan and india, taiwanese chin-shin, thai leadership, et cetera.
(no offence to the bule, i mean, we are all just strawdogs in the eye of the eternal almighty)
peace y’all and hopefully i can post you tomorrow dari itali
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michael k says:
my dear Farah
Where did I write… I do not like spicy food or hate indonesians..(girls)…hahaha god you really want to hate..dont you..if you cant find it..you dream you read it…omg.
I am just writing a book..thats all..to be an expert..so too speak..people ever heard od humour and irony…??????
I have been married to an Indonesian lady for 10 years..lived and worked there…expert..what is it? by definition..its a “spurt under pressure”..hahaha….
I sometimes with the guidance of my wife chat to asian women as research for this unfinished book…and my wife also agrees its easy to spot a scammer a faker..a player…humans are horrible creatures when we lie….
michael k
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L.c.V.s
perhaps chinese-indonesian trust fund babies (haha i bet the bule can’t date this)
do the chinese-indo trust fund babies appreciate your strange sense of humour…(below)
because i already sometimes wear a beard which makes the bule scared
go and shave your beard you filthy pig.
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@ ET
Cannot argue with an expert, can I? Besides, when it comes to internet conversation, who would’ve expected someone to be perfectly honest about her/himself? Us, for example. I don’t use my real name, and you’ve never even mentioned what galaxy you’re from and what mission you bring in coming to earth. Not that it matters here, though. 😉
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this internet conversation needs some honest posting for it to continue and to keep it interesting, Mickael K has done a good job 🙂
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hahaha you call me a filthy pig.
for what reasons? hahahah
for my beard? has it tickled you a bit?
you are 21 years old, married, and soon will have a baby with your wife, so no need to be that angry right? what is frustrating you?
peace y’all from milano italy!
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Farah says:
@ michaeL k
Where did I write… I do not like spicy food or hate indonesians..(girls)…hahaha god you really want to hate..dont you..if you cant find it..you dream you read it…omg.
If you think so, then you fail already to recognize what i want.
And don’t say “hate” , its a strong word. You put more hatred on your comments about some Asian woman that you called as scammers.
Indonesian marriage longer than 10 years. Come again after you had a grand children and celebrating your 50 years marriage, then call your self as and expert, didn’t impress me at all.
Sure i can’t agree more, scammers are very easy to spot. Lie will not bring you anything but heartache. Not a very strong foundation to start any relationship, online or not.
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janner says:
Simple question, will you date or marry a prostitute in your own country? If no, why do you date or marry a girl you picked up in a bule bar in Jakarta?
I think there is only two reasons why bule men in Indonesia choose to have relationships with these women, one, they are (or think they are) not able to find a woman in western society because they have low self esteem and social problems (maybe “they think they are ugly and no western woman will want them” or something, best way to make yourself unable to get a woman = think you’re unable to get a woman!). Second reason is they basically want a servant not an equal partner. If number one is the case they are very sad people, if number two is the case they are idiots…But not all bule men in Indonesia date and marry maids and prostitutes so I want to tell about something else. If you date middle class girls, maybe off a good university campus or working mid-rank in offices, you will have a very different experience. First, if your experience of dating Indonesian girls is with this kind, then all the stories about them asking for money, getting ripped off etc will seems very strange.
If you are dating one of these middle classes, and her family takes a like to you (basically you need not to be one of those dirty Jalan Jaksa types for this), then you will be the one getting the benefits. Of course, not actual payment, but you will get to eat a lot of good meals and never pay, you will get gifts like clothes for example bought for you, maybe you will get invited on a family holiday and you won’t be allowed to pay EVER!!!!Even if you are dating a middle class girl whose family are having some financial problems they will try to hide it and will die of shame instead of asking a bule boyfriend for money. There is something in Indonesia called “sok kaya”, you can call it “pretend rich” or keeping up appearance. This is very common for middle class people, and even quite rich families will be a little bit extra sok kaya if their daughters dating a bule. One girls family actually rented a new car to take me on a day trip to Bogor because they thought their car wasn’t high class enough (I only found out later, can you believe it?).
Does this make all you losers dating maids and prostitutes and complaining if they ask you for pulsa money realize what a different world you are living in?
But actually this doesn’t mean that its good to date these girls. Ok it can be fun if you’re just looking for a casual relationship but I realized that if you start to think about the future and a partner for life this is not the place to look for it. One, these are the most lazy people I have ever met and with no ambition, I have lived in a couple of other Asian countries before Indonesia and I never saw this low level of ambition anywhere like here.
Ambition for any middle class Indonesian is ‘di rumah aja” for today tomorrow and masa depan. It makes me so depressed. Go to India and Japan, everyone has some serious ambition and is seriously trying for their future but not Indonesia. The only times I see ambition here is for really stupid unrealistic things like “ambition to be a selebriti or an artis”. Even “clever” people here are like this and their career will be the career their parents arrange and pay for them. If you are a serious person with ambition and drive and want to maximize your life experience (and want to marry a real equal partner not a maid or a prostitute) I can’t understand why you want to be with someone from Indonesia.
Yes there are exceptions and love conquers everything but if you haven’t met someone yet then don’t start looking here!Actually the point I want to make at the beginning is I think that sinetron ie “soap operas” have a big impact on how girls here think its “ok” to behave in a relationship ie. its all supposed to be drama and argument. They even do that “folded arms and look angry” thing that they learn completely from sinetron (I guess the maids and prostitutes probably do this too, right guys?).
I said a lot more things than that and if it makes you angry maybe thats because the truth hurts…Oh yes, and now I’ dating a bule girl after three years of dating Indonesians, I can tell you it is a big relief…
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Oigal says:
I wonder if Janna even grasps the concept of how arrogant and condescending that post was to her fellow Indonesians. Pretty much summed everything that is to hate in class revering Indonesia.
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samy says:
i love to marry you
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Caleb says:
Hello, find me on facebook search for calebdonatus, and my email address is calebdonatus@yahoo.com, write to me. lets see if things will work out, am looking for fresh young rich lady, to serious relationship, and come to and live together in your country. am a Nigerian.
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hi janner, ya ya ya.
but dating a prostitute, or getting married to one…is never boring, which possibly dating you would be like for others. -
blackdiamond says:
I have been following this site very recently.I have been here for almost one year and certain observations which may be of some interest but slightly away from the topic but relevant:
1.The Indonesian girls/woman are stronger emotionally but insecure from inside because of the polygamy prevalent in the society(…….without any religious malice)
2.The rich Indonesian guy thinks that he has the birth right to go for a new bride almost half of his age or younger than his children and he gets it.
3.The girls/woman want to secure their future by acquiring some property like house or good bank balance against this insecure feeling.
4.I have come across many such broken families because of the behaviour of the head of the family.
5. The behavior of the Indonesian girls in love matters has to be seen in the of light above mentioned facts -
Romson says:
Just educate your ppl better ok, so you don’t have to defend yourselfs on this forum and get mad at ppl across the world !!!
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how was everyones weekend?
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love to read this “about 4 years old” posts……so where is everyone this month? havent seen anyone on June yet 🙂
Does everyone tends to chit chat n meet up in real n discuss about the topic on “Dating Indonesian Girls” lol -
xab3lle says:
Alright everyone.. a lot of true things being said, but too general. I mean every person is different. And yes, social class will definitely have an effect on whether or not an Indonesian girl will date you. Oh I was born and raised in Jakarta btw.
TO BULE GUYS-IF YOU WANT A DECENT INDONESIAN GIRL then the way to her heart is through her family. When I say decent I mean respectable and isn’t looking for money-sex (but if she’s not v well off she probably will be). If she’s half your age and she’s uber-willing then I guess that’s a sign. Indo girls are TRAINED to be super hard-to-get and you have to court them. It’s so in our culture that there’s a acronym to describe the time period where the guy courts and gets to know the girl without trying anything – PDKT (pendekatan). Anyway, you have to be patient because she probably gets hit on by TONS of bules, and you have to stand out by NOT being too forward the first time, as this will scare her off. Show her total and utter respect, be her friend first and gain her trust. Until then she will have her guard up. If she’s all over you, then she wants your money guys. I’m sorry to break it to you but yeah.
Where to find decent girls? Come on. At office jobs!
And once you have this girl in your sights, you have to have to HAVE TO fit in with what her family will approve of. As previously mentioned family values are numero uno in Indonesia and if your parents disapprove, that’s it. From a young age mothers tell their daughters what to look for in a husband. What races are acceptable, what jobs are acceptable, what social class is acceptable etc etc. It’s a culture based on familial stability so that’s why finances are pretty important. If you’re too broke to afford a decent girl then settle for meaningless ayam sex and stop complaining! Indo girls make it difficult on PURPOSE to see how much effort you’re going to put into it before being rewarded. It’s designed to keep the not-bothered-enough ones out.
Someone said that Indo girls think all bules are dumb, but its only because of personal experience. You have no idea how many times it pisses me off when expats think that because I’m indonesian that I’m easy and I’ll go with them just cuz they’re white, as if I’m an ayam that only wants $$. And speaking really slowly as if i cant understand you doesnt help much either.
So don’t be another dumb bule, be educated and not ignorant towards Indo culture, don’t ever show too much confidence when chatting up a girl, cuz the thoughts that come to mind are usually ‘oh god, another bule who thinks im an easy ho. Annoying’
Thats where you get your rep y’all… BTW white ppl are total racists to Asians in all their countries, so expect it back when you get to Asia, white people.
(And im not being racist as I have some white blood btw. Anywhos peace everyone!)
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BTW white ppl are total racists to Asians in all their countries, so expect it back when you get to Asia, white people.
Do you speak from experience? Are you an expert on bule men? Have you been to all their countries?
Maybe you attract a certain kind of bule and with your arrogant attitude I wouldn’t be surprised that it isn’t the kind who are looking for a soulmate.
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U.S Politics + acquiring passport = probably not a good time to post… :/.
It just seems like most American girls care about the money and glamor more than they do the man they are actually dating… IS this less common in Jakarta?