Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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Nay says:
Plenty to fight about here
Indo girls are TRAINED to be super hard-to-get and you have to court them. It’s so in our culture that there’s a acronym to describe the time period where the guy courts and gets to know the girl without trying anything – PDKT (pendekatan).
…..
Indo girls make it difficult on PURPOSE to see how much effort you’re going to put into it before being rewarded. It’s designed to keep the not-bothered-enough ones out.How stupid do you think men are exactly?
If a woman deliberately tries to slow a man down, or play hard to get, all a guy has to do in that case is just date lots of women and wait until each of their “predetermined time” of pendekatan is up and then just sleep with all of them. After which, the man typically runs off because we know that DIFFICULT WOMEN STAY DIFFICULT. Difficult women aren’t good in relationships. They just nag like crazy….. who wants that?
If you like someone, don’t stuff them around by playing hard to get and going against your own human nature and denying YOURSELF of what you want to do.
Secondly, how do you think men feel about women giving them this condescending attitude of “you must do this ,this, this, this, for me or you’re not getting anything!!” coming from women? A man who knows his sense of worth and high value won’t put up with it for more than 5 minutes.
He won’t be rude to you about it. He’ll just be GONE.Face it ladies. I’m sure you want men to treat you well, but since there are many of you, and you don’t work as a union or “sexual cartel”, us men actually DO have choice of being around you or not. We DO get to decide which women we want to be nice to. If it’s not you, we won’t cry a river. Half of you honestly must think you are the only woman on the planet!
Someone said that Indo girls think all bules are dumb, but its only because of personal experience. You have no idea how many times it pisses me off when expats think that because I’m indonesian that I’m easy and I’ll go with them just cuz they’re white, as if I’m an ayam that only wants $$.
Well, you’re only interested in a man for his money, and status and you said so yourself.
Effectively, you’re trying to be a high-class prostitute that can mentally separate the giving of love from incoming finances. You’re not an “ayam” per se, you’re just trying to be an exclusive kind of ayam called a “nagging wife”
Faced with that, men are likely to treat you as if you are easy, or at least a lesser class of human being. Rich people don’t care about money, because they have plenty!
(Which is typically why rich men marry rich women, if they marry at all). A prostitute does it for money because she’s so low class and unintelligent that she can’t get it any other way (not to disparage women who have no choice in this matter).Of course, women want to better themselves, but you were really keen on that, you’d get yourself an education, or perhaps start a business. You don’t need men for that. Getting married for money is just a cop out. The “highly paid prostitute” job.
Women have a biological urge to be getting action from some man somewhere, and we know it. No harm in men putting their hand up and offering to help you out. 😉
So don’t be another dumb bule, be educated and not ignorant towards Indo culture, don’t ever show too much confidence when chatting up a girl, cuz the thoughts that come to mind are usually ‘oh god, another bule who thinks im an easy ho. Annoying’
I’ve been rejected a lot of times by women such as you, and it’s actually great to get the rejection. It lets me know ahead of time that the woman is an arrogant shrew who only wants me for whatever she wants and doesn’t care about me, or probably even other men one bit. I get to save time by not pursuing her, and for a man who gets to meet lots of women, that is a HUGE win. So I have no compunction being a sleaze to women like that, because while they might be parasites and hate me for having more money than them and not giving it to them, they still need to get some male action somewhere and it’s fun to tease them by dropping the opportunity right in front of them.
😉 -
sobhana says:
“I’ve been rejected a lot of times by women such as you, and it’s actually great to get the rejection. It lets me know ahead of time that the woman is an arrogant shrew who only wants me for whatever she wants and doesn’t care about me, or probably even other men one bit. I get to save time by not pursuing her, and for a man who gets to meet lots of women, that is a HUGE win. So I have no compunction being a sleaze to women like that, because while they might be parasites and hate me for having more money than them and not giving it to them, they still need to get some male action somewhere and it’s fun to tease them by dropping the opportunity right in front of them.”
Hey Nay? but the HUGE win for women is that they can get male action anytime/anywhere they want. Men are more likely to get rejected more than women, isn’t this true? so there is nothing wrong about women being A LITTLE BIT PICKIER than men and not go for just about anything that dangles in front of them. when men like you think they know best, women like me know better. i thumb my nose at your machismo! no wonder they say chivalry is dead, and i don’t think women killed it because seems like most are even too naive still (no mixed signals there) -
Sobhana,
You’re preaching to the choir. Men KNOW that women only think of them as dogs, etc. That’s why women always have something to complain about to men.
A man who is smart, knows this and takes it on board. If women only see men as man-whores, male escorts, and thoroughly expendable people – you’re basically encouraging men to sleep around and not bother looking after you. Women killed chivalry dead… but of course “men are to blame” for that too according to most women!
…but you wouldn’t have it any other way 😉
Women have to be pickier by the sheer nature of her biology. She can only have one child per 9 months. You only need one man for that, and instinctively to a woman, the other men can go to hell.
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ET says:
Nay
Half of you honestly must think you are the only woman on the planet!
Only half of them?
Actually Sobhana makes a valid point. The fact that men are supposed to propose and women to dispose leads to the conclusion that men more likely get rejected than women, which in turn makes the women believe that they are unique and that it is nature’s way for all men to lie at their feet begging for carnal favours. For the average woman it is incomprehensible that a man could be indifferent to her female charms, provided he isn’t gay.
The trick is to go with the tide and let them believe whatever they want as long as you get what you want. If you are still interested, of course. -
I am sorry if this is quite the bitter subject for you, Nay. You can’t expect women to respect you if you don’t respect them first. Assuming all women need to be “taken care of”, you should be so lucky to have been rejected that many times. No need to be bothered with those bunch of stragglers. But truthfully, just like Cyndi Lauper said, when the working day is done, y’kno girls just want to have fun. We’re not COMPLETELY hopeless
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one more thing if i might add, it’s kinda like picking out the right type of bait to lure in the fish, don’t treat all women the same, not all are lounging desperate smuts/housewife-wannabes, there still are some decent ones out there, independent chicas seeking men who are just outright down to **** ripe for the picking, with the proper technique of course (no fakers! lol)
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brian A says:
@ Nay.
choice Bro, nagging is ugly. -
I am sorry if this is quite the bitter subject for you, Nay. You can’t expect women to respect you if you don’t respect them first.
Heh heh. Of course men have to “go first” here. Women don’t respect the grand majority of men! Oh well, we aim to please.
Respect is a dicey word though.
I respect Tiger Woods golf swing, and I also respect Donald Trump’s fortune.
However, it’s hard to respect a woman just for being a woman, unless she does something amazing and out of the ordinary…But truthfully, just like Cyndi Lauper said, when the working day is done, y’kno girls just want to have fun. We’re not COMPLETELY hopeless
Ha ha…. yes, this is very true. The cute act is a very good survival instinct for women. Fools men into thinking that they don’t sleep around (how could she? She looks too innocent!)
Like you said though. Girls just want to have fun! (Just make sure nobody finds out!).
I’m always on standby in case the lady friends need to “break glass in case of horniness” By the way, my number is 555-55…. 🙂
@brian
Nagging, by rights shouldn’t happen. If it happens in the context of a relationship, it means that the lady no longer respects you. I don’t have any nagging in my relationships because I’m typically out the door and never to return if the lady ever starts it. Women respect that kind of backbone and the kind of self-respect it displays, and thus, I’m never subject to nagging. -
@ET
Yep, that pretty much nails it. Women are egocentric by nature because they have to be.
A woman needs to outlast men because more wombs are more important than penises for the species survival, in addition for women to stay alive to be there to look after children. Nature has pre-planned that women take abnormal care of themselves, while the role of men is to give everything they have to women before dying for them. These instinct are hard-coded into our DNA which results in a myriad of seemingly unexplainable feelings and instincts…. but essentially result in women being egocentric/narcissistic by default.We men really get the short end of the stick,… but like you said, you just let women believe whatever they want to think and then just go for what you want with them. If I meet 100 women and get rejected by 89 of them, that’s still 11 girlfriends. Even with such a terrible “batting average” a man can still be happy. 🙂
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men have had the advantage of a headstart in society since the beginning of time and often do not recognize the rights and roles of women outside the traditional context, so excuse me for finding ways to get the upper hand or at least ways to earn some equality. we’re not suppose to need you anymore than you need us.
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Oh hang on, I thought *I* was supposed to be bitter? :S
I’m not really. I just know how the game works.I’m not sure what this “headstart” men have that you are referring to is. Perhaps the ability to “not get pregnant” is the one you are referring to. I suppose it is a slight advantage in that it doesn’t slow men down from building and designing things, and being all-round awesome. We can’t really help that.
I do agree with you that there is a kind of man who would seek to take away woman’s rights and keep them in traditional context. Typically these men are somewhat frightened of female sexuality (and a woman’s ability to control it), because it makes the male one look pathetic in comparison. So these men seek to limit women and take away their rights and so to control them, jealous of the woman’s ability to sleep around at will.
On the other hand, not all men are like that. There are men out there that celebrate and respect women’s freedom to do and be whatever. That’s pretty much the case in the west where women have had these rights for decades.
Having said that, however, the end result of giving women this freedom means that marriage is no longer viable. The government pays women for being single mothers, and so the family unit no longer makes much sense. Men being loyal to women appears kind of stupid because the women don’t need men financially, and are now free to use men only as sex objects. End result is that divorce increases, “free sex” is prevalent, families break up, and all sorts of other social ills replace it. You see, in such a society, men don’t have much of a role in it other than as sperm or money donors whenever women happen to need us…. and if that’s how women view us, well, you can bet that respect for women actually decreases rather than increases….. but we all get lots of sex and the women are free.
Unfortunately society goes to hell in a handbasket.
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two people are loyal towards each other because of love and respect – the emotional linkage/bond only a true couple who are equals can have together. Men need to lose the insecurity of not having as much power over women that some would prefer having in a relationship. this tendency of men is the reason why some women still need to be protected and in some cases, provided with financial security according to their needs. if there was any indication that men could be identified as the ‘weaker sex’ in any way, I’m sure there would be some funding set aside for that. Life finds a way.
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brian said
nagging is ugly.
It’ a woman’s privilege, I’ve been told. (I mean nagging, not being ugly).
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deta says:
Coz being ugly and bitter is a man’s privilage. You can’t have it both ways.
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realest says:
Two words: Prenuptial agreement. For you ambitious people … get one !! Screw those romance bullshit, it’s nothing more than a farce for a 50:50 on divorce and endless choking alimony.
you could actually learn a lot from this guy. he’s been married 3x and paid nothing more than pocket change for his 2 divorces. -
I don’t expect people to have the same opinion, but to me, the difference between marriage institution with any other institution is simple things called ‘love and trust’ which can’t be proven to exist if you sign a prenupt prior to entering it. If your concern for your money is beyond your love and trust to your partner, there’s no point in getting marriage anyway.
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michael k says:
hi everyone..sorry ive not been here for a long time…been away on vacation…
oh my god..Indo women..you are all screwed up are n’t you..god you are a fighting your own insecurities..basically I dont give a fig..what you think or say about what or who I am, what or haven’t done..who I’ve f=cked, screwed, abused or been polite too.or given my money too. I never had a one night stand or ever wanted too..if the indo girl wanted ..how many other pricks had she sucked that week or even night???? my words are just my obsevation..of life in S E Asia. its pretty basic human behavior at its worsed.ever been to kuta beech? or pattaya in thailand or Angelisis City in the phills..its depraved..and girls dont blame men..if you weren’t offering it..? ok what comes first …chichen or the egg?
Only women there, who have gone from bars to this internet thing, I am talking about..as one guy put it have become high class whores prostituting from their lap tops. Not all Asian women are bad good or indifferent ok…so climb down from your pisspot…and shut the f=ck up..ok .im talking about you..not good women..and Asian is full of good women..its finding them is the problem..first of all we have fight off you screw balls in dating sites..
All you do is making what I’ve said here true…im no expert..just making a book from it..:)
Its my observation of how women who do prefer bule..actually act..and it is an act ..yes, and guys you are all right..well said..we all get what we deserve in life..even me…”put up or shut up” you indonesian girls..you are (here) born to be money grabbing pretty witches..and you have learnt that indo mans sperm is not for you, and guys your right..our human instinct is to select the best sperm women can find, and if they can find more sperm in one night even better..if we were still wild creatures..that would be the case..its just some indo women still are ferile….lol, and us bule we are alfa males, big strong…romantic full whallets..and kind..hahaha// oooooh yes????
I will expect many replies…from you indo girls now..one thing Ive learn you Indo girls hate the truth…from yourselves..that is…you have more chance seeing pigs fly…then hereing honesty from your type of indo…..byeeeee
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I don’t expect people to have the same opinion, but to me, the difference between marriage institution with any other institution is simple things called ‘love and trust’ which can’t be proven to exist if you sign a prenupt prior to entering it. If your concern for your money is beyond your love and trust to your partner, there’s no point in getting marriage anyway.
Absolutely.
But if you ARE going to get married… well, it’s a legal contract anyway and there’s no avoiding it. May as well protect yourself from financial ruin.
I never had a one night stand or ever wanted too..if the indo girl wanted ..how many other pricks had she sucked that week or even night????
I never wanted any of these either…. except in my case, the ladies I know mostly want them. So here I am looking forward to seeing them again and…. they’re gone!
Don’t say it can’t happen! If anything I learn that a good majority of women like to or want to sleep around. Best be careful and wrap up your trouser snake, they aren’t going to tell you where they’ve been, and if asked, they’ll just deny it, blame you… anything to protect themselves because you, as a man, don’t really matter to them beyond your usefulness to them. Their reputation on the other hand, is worth more to them than you are.It’s sad, I think…. but what I do know is that love wins out in the end. Love can’t be resisted in any of it’s forms, and even if you have to completely fake it and sacrifice a chunk of your personality to do the right thing by people, to give them a night of pleasure, then even if they hate you for being a liar in the morning it was all worth it.
True love is sacrifice, after all. -
*% @ realest
Two words: Prenuptial agreement
Donald is a smart man, not for one second he would let a woman break his heart and run with the cash(millions)? Donald is a businessman.
but..
@ Nay‘love and trust’
he would love his wife much more after signing this agreement, because then he can trust she is not fuc*king him for the money.
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(n a y)
Don’t say it can’t happen! If anything I learn that a good majority of women like to or want to sleep around. Best be careful and wrap up your trouser snake, they aren’t going to tell you where they’ve been, and if asked, they’ll just deny it, blame you… anything to protect themselves because you, as a man, don’t really matter to them beyond your usefulness to them. Their reputation on the other hand, is worth more to them than you are.
YES! agreed. And very good for the man to be aware of this fact, for future readers looking to date Indo women, these women have many many stories to tell…if you can get them to tell you …
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Maphilindo says:
Hi Michael K and Nay. I’ve observed this thread for a long time and your opinions are correct. I agree with you guys on many points.
But one thing, we cannot blame women for that. Michael K, I have seen so many times Indonesian women who dates or married with western men and taken to western countries finally left or divorcing their husband, only to hook up with other men. They act exactly like western women even worst. It’s unlikely to be happen if they marry Indo guy.
Do you know why ? Lack of control and leadership in (Western) men’s part.
If you want to marry Indo women, you guys have to learn from Indonesian men how to control their women. They know HOW TO TREAT WOMEN. They treat women with respect AND CONTROL. They still control the family tightly and sometimes domestic discipline is necessary.
Do women likes to be controlled and lead ? yes. They will be depressed when their men are wimp and weak. Women do not want to take men’s power actually, they don’t want it in the first place, you (western) men hand it to them. And despite all the feminism eupheria, they are not happy with that.
Women dislikes to be adored, idolized and treated romantically ALL the time. Women want a strong men who can lead and control them. Respect is earned once you can show who is the leader.
If you want to see the RANK OF MANHOOD by country, look at the divorce rate.
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hello Maphilindo
Please go back and read all my threads..on this subject..you will see I make this exact point..I know of many South East Asian women who marry to fall out with their loving husbands and re marry and the whole thing is a bloody nightmare…yes worse then white to white or black to black or asian to asian..guys you must check if they are of stable minds and have their own life..some are like hermit crabs..and once us guys have taught them how to live in the west they are like escaping mayflies from their pupai…never to be seen again…some marry really old guys knowing they only have what is a short time to live , knowing they will get their wealth..yes it can be that bad…ok
i know of one indo woman 43 , her husband died at 76 and he was fairly wealthy…left her money in a bank in jakarta 6 figues in pounds sterling and a mercedes car,,and she still moaned like hell…..she now lives back in jakarta..i went to that funeral, not one tear did she shed…not one and i took her to heathrow airport for her flight back home…it left me cold her general bad attitude..i saw her box of jewellery..she took with her..it must have come £30000 at least and she could say was 10 years wasted…he was a generous man..good kind hearted..she was horrible to him..never gratful…always mean..ive learnt since she had man bf…i never want to see her again…… so ive never met a good one yet, but stiil in hope one exsists..even my wife is cold hearted and a moaner…never satisfied…
michael k
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Maphilindo Says:
If you want to marry Indo women, you guys have to learn from Indonesian men how to control their women. They know HOW TO TREAT WOMEN. They treat women with respect AND CONTROL.
LOL @ every sentence. i’ll let others do the bashing 😉 wakakkakakak
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venna says:
“They know HOW TO TREAT WOMEN. They treat women with respect AND CONTROL. ”
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Donald Trump is one of men that has these qualities. Love him LOL
Let’s sign the prenup. That’s a good fence to separate between heaven and hell, depends on who and how they translate it. -
Donald is a smart man
Intelectually yes, Brian, no doubt about that. But he isn’t emotionally smart enough to look through someone’s heart and mind to be sure that the woman in question wouldn’t sleep with him for money only, therefore, he needs to sign a prenupt to begin each of his marriages with. And that’s exactly the kind of man a prenupt is designed for in the first place. Everything is made to serve a certain purpose, for certain people. I should’ve known this. 😉
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deta Says:
But he isn’t emotionally smart enough to look through someone’s heart and mind to be sure that the woman in question wouldn’t sleep with him for money only
You mean you’re smart enough to know that o_O? wow ur an EQ genius !! Somebody please recite me the story of cinderella again, and this time with some westlife music in the background!!
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You mean you’re smart enough to know that o_O?
Yes, Realest. Even an idiot (based on your definition, as you seem to use this term a lot) can see the difference. And even an incredibly smart performer cannot act all the time.
But of course that’s not the only reason a prenup is created. It certainly has a wider range of purposes than what it might seem to have at first glance. And just as I said, this agreement is made for certain people, highly risk averse people who feel the need to arrange financial things if marriage is ended, even before the marriage is started.
Oh, I like Cinderella story, btw, especially the new version, in which the prince becomes poor from being too arrogant and picky.
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And of course, our materialistic Cinderella dumped him and they live hating each other ever after. 😀
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Oigal says:
Actually a pre-nup is critical in a mixed marriage in Indonesia because if you do not and the foreigner dies then you are in all sorts of trouble with the government vultures trying claim assets.
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