Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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deta says:
From a young age mothers tell their daughters what to look for in a husband. What races are acceptable, what jobs are acceptable, what social class is acceptable etc etc. It’s a culture based on familial stability so that’s why finances are pretty important.
Why didn’t my Mom tell me about this?
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Oigal says:
Where to find decent girls? Come on. At office jobs
Which must come as a huge surprise of the 80% of Indonesian women who by bad luck, circumstance or desire do not have office (?) jobs.
Indo girls make it difficult on PURPOSE to see how much effort you’re going to put into it before being rewarded.
Laugh, so office girls (ahem) work on the theory of trophy sex then, mmm not so different after all…
Always kind of sad to see such (psuedo) class based comments but not unexpected.
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xab3lle says:
I understand the critiques everyone, and of course what I said wasn’t politically correct, but when is the world, when is reality politically correct? when is life fair?
-you cant pretend that race doesn’t exist and doesn’t matter
-you cant pretend that what job the guy has won’t matter to the indo girl
-you cant pretend that although of course most of indonesia is in poverty, the immense cultural difference between the bule and the indonesian female living in poverty will most likely prevent the relationship from being anything more than about financial exchange.Haha it’s really funny that I got called stuck-up, cuz I’m really not like that. I’m saying if u hit on her straight away she will have her guard up, approach her in a friendly way and of course she wont have her guard up thus coming off as arrogant. Indo girls are open to meeting new people, its all about the approach!
Chill the f*ck out white boys
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In response to
deta Says:
June 9th, 2010 at 7:27 amFrom a young age mothers tell their daughters what to look for in a husband. What races are acceptable, what jobs are acceptable, what social class is acceptable etc etc. It’s a culture based on familial stability so that’s why finances are pretty important.
Why didn’t my Mom tell me about this?
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Deta, you’re telling me your mom would let you marry a tukang bakso? That’s what I mean when I say that.
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Xabelle, dear, as long as you don’t speak on behalf of all “indo girls” or “office girls” (ahem), that’s fine. Everybody can have their own opinion.
Deta, you’re telling me your mom would let you marry a tukang bakso? That’s what I mean when I say that.
What’s wrong with tukang bakso? I like bakso and so does my mom. I am sure you know that lots of successful entrepreneurs started their huge business from small one.
But then again, maybe we just have different views about this. That’s all. -
Bikin laper nih. Hahah. Yeah I love bakso, so does my mom. She would just not approve of me marrying a tukang bakso and its not about prejudice, I’m sure it happens in other countries where women think about whether the guy can support them and their future family and whether the guy can protect them. I know that cant be specific to Indonesia… probably to do with some evolutionary instinct or something? My mom actually married my dad and we didn’t have much money growing up so yes I know what you mean small business can turn into big business. What she said to me exactly was you have to be able to tell whether or not he will be successful in the future, if he’s the smart kind that will strive for success. Also I make friends with tukang bakso or warung owners etc like exchange numbers and rame2 diajak makan dijadiin temen because they’re always happy, not materialistic or judgemental and they really appreciate it versus so many people who complain about their lives when they have no idea how bad it could be.
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Chill the f*ck out white boys
Laugh gotta love the one that fairly drip class…
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Xabelle, the only thing my mom often tells me is I have to be able to support myself. Maybe someday my mom and yours can eat bakso together and talk about this.
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Oigal: swearing at someone in a different language when they havent said or done anything wrong to you isnt classy either is it? Chill out is the message, nothing wrong with that.
Deta: yep my mom said that too, don’t rely on the guy get married and just be a housewife, even if you’re married you need to be independent just in case.
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shawty says:
So yeah if the Indo women pretty at least like Luna Maya then she has right or allow to dream to get rich hubby, it will be sad to see ordinary and boring look Indo women expecting marry above average income type of men
and many bules here now underpaid cant go for expensive date :'(
too many bules in Jakarta I guess now
destroy their own job market -
swearing at someone in a different language when they havent said or done anything wrong to you isnt classy either is it?
Eeer Swearing at someone???..Me?? Do please provide the example if you would. Sorry but the bizarre contention that office girls are ..ahem..”decent” whilst other girls are not fairly reeks of the arrogance of classism.
Trust me, its a myth office girls are any more “decent” (or not) than any other strand of society. Reminds me of the old joke,
Guy says to girl…: Wow you are so beautiful, I am a millionaire but so lonely would you sleep with me for just one night…
Girl:..Looking shocked (as would a nice decent office girl) but stops and thinks ..well maybe for 1 million dollars..”er ok, but only the one time”
Guy:…Great!! What about spending the night with me for ten dollars then…
Girl:….Screams at him “what do you think I am..a whore!”
Guy:..Carmly…”We have pretty much established what you are, now we are just haggling about the price”
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To be fair, its not you in particular “x” . I really just don’t get the venom and look down attitude from so many people in Indonesia to those by sheer luck and circumstance are less fortunate than themselves.
To suggest that a higher level of education or privledge somehow equates to being smarter, more decent or more moral (whatever the hell that means) is just nonsense. Have a look at the powers that be tha…ahem… run this country to see the flaw in that logic.
Besides..
It’s a culture based on familial stability so that’s why finances are pretty important.
This is different to the ayams perspective how? At least she is being up front about what she want. It really isn’t much of a debate which is the more honest transaction.
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Hmm I guess I can’t really say anything about that because I’m pretty clueless on that subject, I don’t even say yes when a guy tries to buy me a drink and I’ve never had sex with someone for material reasons..
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Swagman says:
xab3lle said:
I’ve never had sex with someone for material reasons..If you don’t mind me asking … what have been the reasons you have had sex with someone? Lust? Self gratification? A hedonistic moment?
Or has it always been for love?
What actually is the difference between having sex with someone for lust / self-gratification and having sex for material reasons …. after all, we aren’t talking about marriage and a life-long commitment.
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ET says:
Oigal
I really just don’t get the venom and look down attitude from so many people in Indonesia to those by sheer luck and circumstance are less fortunate than themselves.
They can’t help it. It’s typical for the nouveau riche class, not only in Indonesia. When nothing becomes something anything else becomes nothing.
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sobhana says:
indeed so fun to make fun of them =)
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brian A says:
you cant pretend that what job the guy has won’t matter to the indo girl
I work in the forrest/jungle (not glamarous job, but its ok salary), that doesnt bother my Indo girl. She doesnt care what my job is.
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tukang bakso
I know a tukang bakso, he is a very nice man, with a house, great sense of humour and great family. there is nothing wrong with him at all ..xabelle. Is he not your type of man because your mum would not approve? lol
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chill the f*ck out black girl
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Brian A: sadly i can still hear the wave of support crashing over the likes of these narrow-minded pigmentless (you kno they use skin-whitening cream) uppity skanks. centuries of domination by the west have programmed them to bend over backwards at a snap of one’s finger to please those who can help them “level up” from their sense of no self-worth existence.
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ET said:
They can’t help it. It’s typical for the nouveau riche class, not only in Indonesia. When nothing becomes something anything else becomes nothing.Very true. It is a natural human characteristic to want to better one’s self (whatever that means to each individual), however, it is also sadly the case, that most people either forget, or more likely don’t want to remember, where they came from.
We are all simply making our way through life the best we can … most people are good of heart and do not deserve the prejudices that the more well-to-do of this world spit out like venom.
It would be nice to see the more open-minded and worldly members of this site stop talking about “class” …. that is one of the key foundations of narrow minded prejudice.
And don’t get me started on religion!
Just my thoughts …. need a cold beer now 🙂
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I wouldnt talk about class. Never. But we can keep talking about race, right?
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I wouldnt talk about class. Never. But we can keep talking about race, right?
You can talk about whatever you like diego, but I prefer talk about dating Indonesian girls 😉
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Eric F. says:
I just wanted to add my “2 cents” to this topic. I am a black man from the USA, and I met my wife online the beginning of last year, and I nally flew to Jakarta by myself and met up with her. We then flew to Bali together and spent our time there getting to know each other. I guess I was lucky, because I think it was the best vacation I ever had. Prior to us meeting in Jakarta, my wife worked and lived in Abu Dhabi in the hospatality industry. She met alot of people from around the world especially westerners and developed lasting friendships. The number of friends on her Facebook account is a testamont to that. She also seen the good and bad in all people. I believe these experiences prepared her to have a “base” knowledge on western culture. She also had a couple of boyfriends from the USA as well.
Since being with my wife, I learned that she can be very sensitive, especially if I raise my voice at her. But rather than reciprocating and getting loud herself, my wife will just cease all communication with me. When I see that I know I did wrong. What is interesting to see, is that my wife will be like that for a while, even if I appologize constantly, but she won’t stay like that for too long. She really holds no malice or grudge towards me. When we go to bed she is cuddling up under me as if nothing had happened prior. But please understand me what I mean when I “raise” my voice, its not in any way threatening or aggresive. I am simply trying to make my point to her if we get into some kind of debate, and sometimes I get a little frustrated. For some reason, she likes to challenge me, and that leads to these kind of scenarios. So, I try to be mindful when this occurs so that it doesnt happen much.
I will say this, I love my wife very much. Our home is clean and neat. My wife is very affectionate, and she allows me to lead the household. That may sound weird in this day and time. Especially in western society’s standards. But, I guess what I am saying is that she looks up to me for guidance, and allows me to set the tone of the household. She asks me permission to do things, and/or wants my opinion on things before she acts on them. Once again, I try to be mindful of this, because I dont want her to think she is my maid or slave. However, I appreciate the gesture of her allowing me to be the man of the house. “With great power comes with responsibility”!
Different members of my family like her, which is a great plus.
My advice to westerners is that when you meet a young lady from another country, you have to consider her age and her experiences with life. Dont get caught up on just how she looks, and if she the sex will be good with her. I wouldnt advise a westerner to go after a very young girl with no life experiences. You are looking for trouble.
You also have to gauge on why your girl wants to be married. What are her true intentions? Yes, easier said than done. However, if you look for subtle clues it can help you very much. I feel very fortunate to have my wife in my life 🙂 -
Well said Eric. I am very happy for you buddy. 🙂
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Thanks Swagman!!
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lialita says:
hii miss you guys,,,,,. how are you…??
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Bring in some more fights, over here….
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check it out when she (xabelle) says: “What races are acceptable, what jobs are acceptable, what social class is acceptable etc etc.” psshhh, another stuck-up indo brat! looks down upon her own people, hardly an independent thinker…don’t worry your droplet of white blood is hardly the factor to blame.
There’s this thing called human rights!! Hint: pretty much says it all when you don’t even see that we are all equals. Note: i am not atacking you, i am simply stating that i understand your limited understanding on the subject, thus forming your prejudice.