Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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Swagman says:
I am not saying that all western men are irresponsible pig like that, but MOST ARE.
Oops sorry, my mistake. You don’t hate western men, you just think MOST are pigs.
And you are not opinionated either, you just draw your conclusions from a few men posting comments here.
Sex = love + risks + marriage (I assume this includes genital mutilation and religious conversion?) + take care of baby?
That’s hilarious!
By the way, being a single mother is also a woman’s right (and choice) and not solely due to men being pigs. It is what we call equality and freedom of choice … strange concept I know.
What is your view of the woman who has sex and gets pregnant and is not in love? Or perhaps I shouldn’t ask ..
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Endy says:
Inez,
Pregnancy is not a strong enough reason to marry somebody. Society/family pressures are also not good enough reason to marry a person.
Smart woman should know that sex without using any precaution (birth control) would result in pregnancy.
The decision to have sex without any form of birth control should be carried out with an understanding of the consequences…..
It takes two to tango and certainly takes 2 to get pregnant. The man should be responsible but don’t you think the woman also should?
Those western country single mothers are in that situation because they are taking their part on the responsibilities.
They understand the consequences etc… They do not “trap” the men to do whatever religion and whatever society wants them to do.
They are certainly not afraid that their mother, father, brother or tetangga knows that they are pregnant out of wedlock.
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Farah says:
@ diego
LOL
It’s good to be a gay, isn’t it. You can be more objective in your view toward girls. You can focus on what’s important: face + attitude + brain, and simply disregard the less important parts: ass and boobs (no interest for super boob and super ass).
You know there is a book by Dave Singleton “Behind Every Great Woman There’s A Fabulous Gay Man : Advice from a Guy Who Gives It To You Straight” ??
Its true. Only gay friend will say no lies about how you look in a mini dress or when you had man crisis days, he would be a great listener, they are something for sure!!
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All good women should have lots of gay male friends to give us straight guys a better chance. Women with many straight male friends are far too informed as to our true intentions 🙂
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It’s good to be a gay, isn’t it. You can be more objective in your view toward girls. You can focus on what’s important: face + attitude + brain, and simply disregard the less important parts: ass and boobs (no interest for super boob and super ass).
I am very happy you feel good to be gay … live long and prosper 🙂
With regard to being objective and having disregard for as* and boobs … Man! It’s great to be straight and subjective!
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venna says:
Its true. Only gay friend will say no lies about how you look in a mini dress or when you had man crisis days, he would be a great listener, they are something for sure!!
____________I’m not lucky in this case. Every time I thought I found a friend who would listen to me and let me sob in his shoulder, at the end I cried: Oh, another crocodile! 😀 *kidding*
But you’re right, gay man is an awesome friend. -
ET says:
@ diego
Funny…. I have a mind shift towards jilbab & burqa. I used to be 100% againsts jilbab / burqa as it, to me, simbolizes opression toward women (bla bla bla). But now, I can say I have lowered it a bit to 80% against.
For indonesian girls in general, I prefer to see them _not_ in jilbab / burqa. But for some other types of girls, who feel they’re sexy (although they aren’t!), I hope they would just wear jilbabs / burqa…., or maybe burqa, saudi arabian style, yes, just the eyes…, and even then, wear big sunglasses. Please.
It’s good to be a gay, isn’t it. You can be more objective in your view toward girls. You can focus on what’s important: face + attitude + brain, and simply disregard the less important parts: ass and boobs (no interest for super boob and super ass).
I never thought of it this way, but I’m beginning to like the idea. Especially on the beaches. It would spare us the eyesore of jelly and blubber and let us focus on what’s more ‘important’, although, not being gay, I wouldn’t consider asses and boobs as less important.
Maybe Islam is not so bad after all, if you choose and pick what’s convenient.
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bs says:
Brian, don’t take the stuff Inez says to serious.
Every culture has its good and bad characteristics, but the stuff she throws at “Western men” is what the international community (not only bule) normally says about Indonesian men. She’s just frustrated.While you’re working hard to make ends meet, don’t forget you’re not in it alone. Your girl is at least equally responsible for this. I hope you get to live with her so you can enjoy the results of your efforts too.
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Nay says:
It’s good to be a gay, isn’t it. You can be more objective in your view toward girls. You can focus on what’s important: face + attitude + brain, and simply disregard the less important parts: ass and boobs
That’s really how is should be! Thing is, most men can’t concentrate properly on what’s really important while the ass and boobs are being witheld from them. It’s only men who already have a lot of experience having sex with women, and who become tired by it (a good problem to have, but still a problem) who become mature enough to be able to see past the physical.
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Ross says:
Venna, send me a pm, please, and I’ll try to have it delivered to some suitable place.
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Peet says:
Inez,
I have come across a lot of Indonesian ladies whom are left alone by their Indonesian husbands in the past two years. They were just left behind with their kids and papa vanished without leaving a penny behind. Not even a proper divorce with some kind of settlement etc. I talked to some builders from central Java and they just remarried and started a new family in my area, they told me without a blink of the eye, Muslim or not, they just shrug their shoulders and don’t give a shit. So I’m sure this happens in the west but Indo is not much better. At least in the west the ladies are more protected by the law. -
myue says:
Hi guys,
I found this site when I googled for my assignment and I have good time here,enjoying the debate and comments.So interesting.
I might gonna contribute a story too,hm,let’s see
however,i wanna say : nice to meet ya all 🙂
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@Ross:
I already sent my email address to admin/Patung for you. -
Oke, thx. Will await surat kilat dari Patung!
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Anyway, there’s a woman who is a REAL challenge for men to get past her physical.
Barbara Streisand.
Most people stop at her nose.
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Diego,
I see you have no taste, better if she would wear a burka, Afghan style so you don’t see the nose.
Just kidding 🙂 better to see a Indo girl with some character, temper and straight forward that knows what she wants.
Looks is nice, big boobs, nice legs etc. but you cannot live with that alone, without character it becomes boring. -
Oigal says:
I do believe we have been handed the yellow card…fair enough I guess
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While it was fun to observe, it did get a little too personal.
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Fair comment Swagman
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alireza says:
Indonesian girls are very attractive and I hope one day travel to this country.
In my opinion, every girl and a woman can live with love on the condition that the man stares fell in love with. -
mercy says:
hi!
i’m in my way to get an information about what people from the other country thinking about indonesia,and i found this web.i’m interested to answer the question about
“is it really how a relationship has to be in Indonesian culture? or is it, as I think, that she’s a cute but lazzy spoiled girl doing whim?”
(if u still need it,coz the question was asked in 2006, n now it 2010.lol)coz i think, indo girl, with her eastern culture,
they wan to be pampered by the guy she love
to know that he love her n willing to take care of her in every aspects and treat her as a princesswell, at list thats my opinion as a girl
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I don’t think wanting to be pampered is only something Indonesian girls want.
But thank you for kick-starting this thread again. -
yes, i’m agree that there is so many reason.
at list, thats one of them i think.anyway, i don’t think that indonesian girl is lazy
maybe she’s do that bcoz she just always wanna be close you.. her lover. 😀
(isn’t that sounds sweet?) -
maybe she’s do that bcoz she just always wanna be close you.. her lover.
(isn’t that sounds sweet?)Poor lover, he must be exhausted.
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reallyme says:
Some honesty and 7 years experience
I lived in Indonesia for seven years and sure when i first moved there i had a lot of fun meeting girls.Although to be honest i really wanted to meet someone very special but i found it quite difficult, i did ask my friends to introduce to me to a nice girl and found more success, we were together for seven years in Bandung and very happy, but unfortunately when the time came she couldn’t leave her family and come back to the UK with me.
To all the Indonesian girls out there beware, yes most of the expats are after sex and little else, its unfortunate and i cannot be more than a little ashamed at this, but in their defence the visit the places where they will find these kind of girls. So those girls and those men will get what they seek.
For those Indonesian Women who have to be very careful that the man can fully undertsnads and can adapt to Indonesian culture and the higher family values, this is sometimes very confusing for them, the closeness of this life means that you do marry into a family and you need to gain your own respect within that group.
I miss my time, i miss the people of Indonesia, its time for me to return and try again, i know that if i can search in the right way this time and find the right women, i will be a happy man.
I am returning to Bandund in 2 months for a new life after selling my business here in UK
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as everybody said.. find the right man in the right place ^^
i wish u a good luck reallyme
at least, you have her waiting for you when u come back here
and at that time, you two can start your relationship again
7 years is a quite long time to be together
i think it must be hard to forget a huge memories like that -
Reallyme,
At least you now know which ones to skip now, strange that the other one did not want to come along to UK. She must have been a real nice lady. As soon as I hear that they want to get a visa to get out my warning lights go off. Maybe you can get her back, good luck.
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In my husband and wife should understand each other, both is better than feeling each other and be aware that a skill and education needs.As long as husband and wife are not feeling too, never will be able to love each other and show interest.Men in nature is always feel that they need but on the contrary, critical nature of women who are always who’s demur.So for anyone who is necessary that nature of men and women, necessary information and get from the beginning of a successful life.It is true that in the world what led to the continuance of the woman and her husband is sexual relations, but this alone is not enough and up to when knowledge is not possible, the value of the relations will fade.After man and woman in the world of every race and phratry that they can with principles and laws and marriage, as a man and a woman and good or excellent recognized.Of course what makes the difference men and women with other men and women, first of all is related to religion and after that cultural and family laws and etc. are also involved.I myself more of a woman I like to be able to conduct in a way that her husband is always in her mind. Of course such women on the earth and in fact there are angels are the land.I talked a lot i hope i can get to visit Indonesia and the people that land, I am familiar with. Thanks to the Respectful management site
Alireza Nasirzadeh: psychologist ( M.A ) -
Temur says:
Ross (PM) Says:
“Time for you lot to read my new novel – JAKARTA SUCKERS! – and ask who gets the most out of these bule gila – cewek licik relationships.”Ross, is your book available in stores, yet? I’d better have a look at it. Once in Indo, I ran into “one”– in a bar, of course. A free-lancer, this one — I thought. I saw her on 3 consecutive days and she has to be the most shameless hitter I ever ran into (not the first one, but maybe the worst). Without ever being unpleasant, she ceaselessly asked me for money — which is unpleasant enough. The usual things: “buy me another pack? Buy these shorts? Help friend me she needs go to doctor. We get more wine tonight? I hungry again, buy Nasi Dayam (again), my son needs equipment for school.”
It never stopped. Every 20 minutes or so, she’d come up with another request. Few were heeded.I’m not going to generalize on a culture I know nothing about, but is this the going rate or you meet all kinds? ‘Cause this last one makes you want to avoid Indo girls.
mercy (PM) Says:
“coz i think, indo girl, with her eastern culture,
they wan to be pampered by the guy she love
to know that he love her n willing to take care of her in every aspects and treat her as a princess”Looks like Mercy’s partly answered my question…
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Listen, I am not a western men hater, in fact I know personally several nice western guys.. but it’s when you see opinion like this :
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Brian, do not marry a girl because she is pregnant, it will be the road to disaster. If you are sure it’s your kid then maintain it, but never marry if you do not love her.
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Peet is right. Don’t waste your life on woman you don’t love.
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I said I didnt want to marry her, I was misunderstood. I do love her a lot, but I didnt/dont see the need to get married unless she needs us to, I was being honest.
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A baaaaby. How sweeeet. So cuuute. Mungiiiil.
Meanwhile the poor bloke sits over his ears in shit, hasn’t probably closed an eye for weeks and faces a mortgage for the rest of his young life
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Brian, baby cost a lot of money, Indo is relatively cheap to live but somehow not so cheap anymore, specially if you want to live partly expat style, going for a beer once in a while, going out for a good steak. When you marry your girl where are you going to live? Where are you going to work? If you work overseas whom is going to pay for your tickets etc. When you have no money in your pocket the love evaporates very easily, and this is world wide.
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What can you imply ???? You guys have no responsibility at all…
You men have to understand that when you have sex with a woman, you SHOULD REALLY LOVE her and ready to take all the risks! including marry her and take care the baby …
I am not saying that all western men are irresponsible pig like that, but MOST ARE. Just look at this thread… No wonder there are so many single mother in western countries…..