Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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Ross says:
OKay, mate, it’s up to you.
But avoid the large ceremony regardless of personal circumstances. It’s an absolute bore, not least, I guess, for the bride and groom. You can get as many as a thousand folks crammed in, and nobody talks to each other, unless they’re already acquainted. Everybody stuffs their faces with free food, queues up to shake the hands of the long-suffering couple, then bales out.
Also, of course, no beer, and rarely do you get any good music, unless it’s a hired band.
Not much in the way of spontaneous..no Uncle Jimmy’s rendering of My Way or Auntie Harriet’s Bye-Bye Blackbird.
Hold it in Scotland, more fun. -
Temur says:
rocco Says:
May 27th, 2008 at 12:20 amThis is a suggestion to all you bule….
If you want to meet a serious, potential life partner, an Indonesian woman with good character/personality, stop looking for them in the pubs!!!!!
Better yet, why don’t they just go to the Chicken Farm in Kho Kong, Cambodia?
They’d be welcome there.
Also, afterwards, to take something home with you, they give u
a free tee shirt
with HIV in big red colors stamped right in the middle!I am working now in Indonesia for 2 years, have a serious relationship with a sweet and beautiful girl from Java (1year) and i am really thinking of marrying her.
The difficulty i find that everything she does is so sweet, i really feel good with her but….. maannnn she is lazy. She hangs around the tv al the time and showing initiative to do anything hell noooo.”That sounds exactly like the kind of girlfriend I’d like to have. I love the ones who smoke, drink beer, and are perfectly lazy. I’m serious. I like these types.
Sure, they make a little trouble, and try to milk you.
But, experience has shown me that these types are devastating in bed.
It’s their job? No! Their hobby. -
Farah says:
I don’t know if Indonesia has this culture of abuse. Who knows? I came here only once, last December. I loved Java and the Javanese — they were so friendly and polite. The kids, too. Always asking me to pose with them for a picture. I don’t know. Maybe I had expected something different — but they surprised me. That’s why I want to go back. Maybe I’ll get a ticket for Bandung tomorrow.
As for dating Indo girls, well I steered clear of that the first time. Still, I was approached by one in Yogya one evening. She struck up a conversion, then invited me to join her and a friend to this neat bar. We went. And no, it isn’t because they wanted me to pay the drinks!
I found the Indos very sociable, so easy to approach and chat with. They weren’t distant or sullen, uninterested in others (you’ll sometimes get that in parts of Thailand). I travelled alone so I definitely appreciated the contacts. I never had to be by myself if I didn’t want to be. It was cool!Hmmm…. i think its all the same around the world, theres good guys, and bad guys, indonesia, thai, USA, Oz.. same.
I would say the same thing after dating indonesia bf, broke up, date an expat, broke up, and see, compare from both relationship, whats work and suit for me, and whats not.
I have a very very good indonesian dad. He smart, open minded, loving dad, and so far i know he is very faithful with my mom.
Just my bad luck, i can’t even find half of him in any men that i met during my teenager time and until now. I found it in western guy–they give me freedom to be who i am, support me, he could cook, and not shy to do it-never say “you’re a woman-thats your job!” and loving me for who i am, my skin color, hair cut, etc.
My latest ex indonesian bf even worse. Had suicidal thoughts, bad temperament, jealous all the time, and even make it worse did things in the name of religion/belief (give me guide book how to be good serving woman–i rip that book hahah), need praise all the time.
Just my bad luck as i said. But i can’t forget it, the hurt that he cause.
So i would say indonesian men not bad, but just some people are not worth the relationship thats all.
@ Brian A
Yeah, i think i did not check this website for quite long time, glad hear good news from you. -
Oigal says:
Just my bad luck, i can’t even find half of him in any men that i met during my teenager time and until now
Nothing like being compared to some mythical moving standard to doom a relationship. Would this be the female version of mommies boy looking for a wife to replace mom. Pretty common in a society where mixing of the sexes before marriage is treated as the devils work.
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@ oink gal
Nothing like being compared to some mythical moving standard to doom a relationship. Would this be the female version of mommies boy looking for a wife to replace mom. Pretty common in a society where mixing of the sexes before marriage is treated as the devils work.
Hehe.. i am not really copying someone to replace him, he set the high standard for sure—daddy is un-replaceable sweety!
Of course a boy will look his mom/sisters as a standard for woman hes looking for. What he will like and dislike (mom talk too much–ill look up for someone more obedient, mom cook very well–had to find someone could cook as well, etc)
Family is the first place where you know other sex. Dad-Brother, is where girls first know about boys. Same with boys, they know girls from mom and sisters.
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Peet says:
Brian,
We were married in Serang, Banten, at a nice hotel with friends and family from Holland, US and India. We had about 500 plus Indonesian family, neighbors’ etc. Took about the whole day (handshakes with every one), change clothes three times and everyone had to go on the on the picture with us of course. We had beer and vodka for the expat side and it became a great party (the expats were not the only ones drinking alcohol if I looked at the amount consumed). It was tiring but fun. -
For me high quality males should have the following traits :
1. Leadership.
2. High intelligence.
3. High moral and religion value.
So you see the value I talked about ? it’s MORAL VALUE dear, have you ever heard of that ???….Hm, Inez, maybe you ought to take a closer look at the “moral values” part. As Anak once mentioned, “Paki man he rape and kill own daughter to be a good Muslim.” And if you read a paper like the India Times — the “In Brief” sections –, you’ll see that it does happen a lot.
If you ever run into a guy that has high moral values and you fall for him, in no time, he’ll have you in chains. You will be his slave. Your sole purpose in life shall be to churn out his babies. You’ll get fat and he’ll cheat on you. He’ll get his kicks at the brothels while you stay home with the brats and cook his dinners. As for him, he’ll soothe his conscience by praying regularily, observing all the prescribed festivals, listening with regularity to his priest or Imam. He’ll never drink in public (he’ll only do that in secret gambling dens).
He’ll beat you whenever you disagree with him. He’ll forbid you to educate yourself.
And all in the name of what?
Because he got this from his parents, and they got it from some dude they believe in
just because he’s older, has a long beard, and dresses in a pinguin suit.Inez, don’t ever fall for such hypocrites. They will ruin your life.
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Oh still with the personal hey Farah…You are a very disturbed lass but good luck finding a daddy
Of course a boy will look his mom/sisters as a standard for woman hes looking for. What he will like and dislike (mom talk too much–ill look up for someone more obedient, mom cook very well–had to find someone could cook as well, etc)
Laugh…So essentially he is looking for a German Shepard who can cook?
Family is the first place where you know other sex. Dad-Brother, is where girls first know about boys. Same with boys, they know girls from mom and sisters.
There is just something so very wrong about that whole paragraph, difficult to know where to begin..so I shall not, pity the husband tho.
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I’m sure, Oigal, you are doing Farah an injustice. What might be interpreted salaciously from her attempt to express something in English is not surely what she meant.
All she is saying, and men of goodwill ought to see that, is that you probably judge men, if you’re a woman, from the examples you have seen in your upbringing.
Or are you yourself evincing an Oigipus Complex!?!
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Oigipus Complex… Aww come on Ross, just come out and say it.
Besides slow day, time to stir the possum
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Ya, but she’s a cewek, you know I always do the Walter Raleigh bit.
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ET says:
Congrats on baby! 🙂 🙂 despite of how people see or think of it, just be happy!
A baaaaby. How sweeeet. So cuuute. Mungiiiil.
Meanwhile the poor bloke sits over his ears in shit, hasn’t probably closed an eye for weeks and faces a mortgage for the rest of his young life. 🙁
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venna says:
Oh still with the personal hey Farah…You are a very disturbed lass but good luck finding a daddy
________________________What’s wrong with this, though? It’s common everywhere that girls try to find daddy’s figure.
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@ oink gal
All i could say is:
Hope you NEVER had a daughter, or if you have i am very glad you have the thought that she shall never feel proud of you in any ways.Because you never seemed understand how a girl think about their father, aren’t you?
@ Venna
He just an as*, might never know who’s his dad is, he don’t have that daddy figure to be an example. Possibly raised by a pig.@ ET
LOL, maybe he should think about doing vasectomy then. -
brian A says:
@ET
A baaaaby. How sweeeet. So cuuute. Mungiiiil.
Meanwhile the poor bloke sits over his ears in shit, hasn’t probably closed an eye for weeks and faces a mortgage for the rest of his young life.
Do you have kids? yeh I might need a loan, how sad. smile … be happy
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Inez says:
See…
look at the mentality of bule “men” when they heard the word “baby”, “responsibity” etc..BE A MAN!! for god sake…
Really you are a bad representative of all men…
I still see many responsible western men in their country… but most of them are really childish, irresponsible,selfish and soo whiny like women. I don’t understand why,may be being raised by single mother or have divorced parents have something to do with it..
Or may be because they have no good religious value which emphasize on men’s responsibility, father and family leader figure.
No wonder just look at their divorce rate well beyond 40%…estrogen generation of western “men”.
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I still see many responsible western men in their country… but most of them are really childish, irresponsible,selfish and soo whiny like women. I don’t understand why,may be being raised by single mother or have divorced parents have something to do with it.. Or may be because they have no good religious value which emphasize on men’s responsibility, father and family leader figure. No wonder just look at their divorce rate well beyond 40%…estrogen generation of western “men”. -
Venna, you mean sugar daddy right 🙂
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@ brian A
yeh I might need a loan, how sad. smile … be happy
and pay… and pay… and pay… and pay…
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@Peet:
Venna, you mean sugar daddy right 🙂
_____________Of course not. You know what I mean. Sugar daddy? Ewwww……:(
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Temur said
I found the Indos very sociable, so easy to approach and chat with. They weren’t distant or sullen, uninterested in others (you’ll sometimes get that in parts of Thailand). I travelled alone so I definitely appreciated the contacts. I never had to be by myself if I didn’t want to be. It was cool!
I know that feeling. It reminds me of my first evening in rural Bali. I had ordered supper in my local homestay and was prepared to wait alone patiently. 5 minutes later I was surrounded by local women and girls, not for hanky panky, just for a friendly and interested chat. Some didn’t even speak at all, they just sat there to keep me company. Imagine this in a western country.
I stayed ever since.
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Brian, baby cost a lot of money, Indo is relatively cheap to live but somehow not so cheap anymore, specially if you want to live partly expat style, going for a beer once in a while, going out for a good steak. When you marry your girl where are you going to live? Where are you going to work? If you work overseas whom is going to pay for your tickets etc. When you have no money in your pocket the love evaporates very easily, and this is world wide.
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Really you are a bad representative of all men…
who are you talking to Inez.
If you are talking to me then you must feel better to get that off your chest.
that was too intense to read after a 14 hr day of work. I will take what you said seriously and toughen up.Peet, Thanks for the warnings … and what to expect
When you have no money in your pocket the love evaporates very easily, and this is world wide
its just money! working 2 jobs so I can take care of her, so being partly responsible in terms of working Inez would you say????
I will post later in the year, hopefully this topic is still getting some attention
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Brian, Good luck mate 🙂
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Caleb says:
Hello, I am an African, Computer operator, kind hearted, cool and nice, funny and cheerful, get in touch to know more.
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Swagman says:
@ Inez
BE A MAN!! for god sake…
Really you are a bad representative of all men…
and then you say ..
No wonder just look at their divorce rate well beyond 40%…estrogen generation of western “men”.
Why do you want someone to be a man when men are so useless?
It is also ridiculous to blame men for all “western” divorces.
Me think you a western man-hater and never wrong and very opinionated and ……. ok, I’ll stop now. -
Funny…. I have a mind shift towards jilbab & burqa. I used to be 100% againsts jilbab / burqa as it, to me, simbolizes opression toward women (bla bla bla). But now, I can say I have lowered it a bit to 80% against.
For indonesian girls in general, I prefer to see them _not_ in jilbab / burqa. But for some other types of girls, who feel they’re sexy (although they aren’t!), I hope they would just wear jilbabs / burqa…., or maybe burqa, saudi arabian style, yes, just the eyes…, and even then, wear big sunglasses. Please.
It’s good to be a gay, isn’t it. You can be more objective in your view toward girls. You can focus on what’s important: face + attitude + brain, and simply disregard the less important parts: ass and boobs (no interest for super boob and super ass).
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Time for you lot to read my new novel – JAKARTA SUCKERS! – and ask who gets the most out of these bule gila – cewek licik relationships.
Written after many talks with Jaksacrats and Jakasa Chicks, it is a bit of adventure, plus romance with some useful tips how to spot the lies, all thrown in gratis! -
Post it Ross! I need some serious laugh.
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@Ross:
Already published, Ross? I’d like to buy it if available at amazon.com.
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You can have traditional or simple ceremony, Brian, depends on how the girl’s family want to. After you have ‘ijab kabul’, an officer from KUA will give Surat Nikah for you and your wife, and both of you sign it. When I married in Indonesia, it took 2 months for my family to prepare the ceremony because they had to invite all relatives and managed all stuffs for traditional ceremony/Javanese. The ijab kabul itself was simple. The party that took lots of energy and attention.