Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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Odinius says:
I’ve lived in several countries, and I’ve observed racism in every single one. It’s a human pathology.
That’s why states need to assertively protect the rights of those who are in the minority. The US used to do an atrocious job of this, but largely moved away from its past. It can always do better, however.
Indonesia needs to do the same, particularly when it comes to religious minorities.
@Farah: I know you weren’t generalizing. Lairedion made a sort of typical European quip about Americans, so I was gently reminding him we’re not all cut from the same cloth.
@Khafi: If Dayakulture were a native speaker of English from the UK, surely he would know Old English actually looks like this:
Hwæt! We Gardena in geardagum,
þeodcyninga, þrym gefrunon,
hu ða æþelingas ellen fremedon.
Oft Scyld Scefing sceaþena þreatum,monegum mægþum, meodosetla ofteah,
egsode eorlas. Syððan ærest wearð
feasceaft funden, he þæs frofre gebad,
weox under wolcnum, weorðmyndum þah,
oðþæt him æghwylc þara ymbsittendra -
Lairedion says:
Koh Odin,
Sorry, I overlooked your comment and I was playing a bit with Farah’s comment. My apologies.
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Understood and accepted. I can see why you, Farah, Khafi, etc. were frustrated…I was too. Just remember we’re not all cut from the same cloth 🙂
Of course, my last reply appears to have disappeared for reasons unknown to places unknowable!
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Mr Tic Tac Toe says:
As to Indonesian racism I would add an overcompensated inferiority complex.
So true.
That is why it is easy to push indonesians to racist remarks, simply by telling us that we HAVE TO do this, we HAVE TO do that, or we HAVE TO change this law or that law.
Or simply tell us this: “you guys are primitives”, we might then give you a new meaning to the word primitive. 🙂
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Andy says:
Interesting point TTT but sometimes when you think we are telling you to do something it is a mere suggestion and one to benefit you, us but most particularly your country. You can learn quite a lot from bules you know. Even something as simple as teaching a pembantu to use a washing machine or an office boy to use the internet can only benefit the country in the long term. Why such resistance?
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As for the changing of laws, it does make you lot look very silly having racist laws from the 19th century in a 21st century land.
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Farah, I understand the Indonesian mindset which is that the average bule earns more and that they are paying less for something than they would say in the USA but to overcharge someone on the basis of their race is simply wrong. To go to a beautiful landmark like Borobodur and see two lines with different prices looks like the USA in the 1950s with white and colored lines. It is downright embarrassing not for us but for the locals.It may be difficult to migrate to the west these days (and with good reason 9/11??) but you can get there by going thru the right channels. And then it’s yours for keeps. Farah, why can’t my Indonesian wife sponsor me as I did for her?
Mohammed, I worked hard, learnt the language and culture (Aku mengerti pak) and even tried to arrange community sporting activities in a nearby kampung. Don’t know whatever else I could have done to ‘fit in’. And to top it off, I married a local girl. Also I lived in Central Jakarta so TTT, which neighbourhood should I move to? Usually big cities are more enlightened than the smaller towns so I think I was in the right spot.
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Oigal says:
There is some really dumb racist garbage here. I guess most would know I am the first to take on the overly sensative and pc dills we get on IM but some people here you just have to feel sorry for. Their lives are so bitter and twisted they can only see the bad side of everything
As for happy mixed marriages and/or dating not only possible but in my experience better than most.
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Farah says:
@ Andy
Farah, I understand the Indonesian mindset which is that the average bule earns more and that they are paying less for something than they would say in the USA but to overcharge someone on the basis of their race is simply wrong. To go to a beautiful landmark like Borobodur and see two lines with different prices looks like the USA in the 1950s with white and colored lines. It is downright embarrassing not for us but for the locals.
🙂 🙂
…..pardon me….
If i am not mistaken:
I went to Thailand, and i have to pay to see the famous reclining budha in BKK while locals cold enter that place for free. Theres two different entrance for tourist and for locals. (This is at 2007).I pay more for taxi fee in Malaysia, more than my COUSIN who’s malaysia citizen. (you indon ke?)
Are we discussing the same thing here ?
Locals free.. tourist/foreigner pay ?? locals less money to spent, foreigner pay more ?
So whats wrong with that ? i didn’t complain. I am in different place, different country, different CULTURE, i went there, and i respect the differences.
I never been to western country, as i said visa trouble me much, if your country giving more chance for us to visit, and experience the culture.. hey you know.. maybe indonesia people finally aware about what you’ve been complaining about and change their attitude 😉 who knows ??
As your wife can’t sponsor you maybe more because these days our government seemed still see indonesia women as weak and vulnerable creature that need more protection than men, as we do very easy to fool by sweet words promises etc. (wink wink), maybe thats the reason why we, indonesian women can’t sponsor foreigner. They afraid we’ve fooled for wrong reason.
Just the same reason why it harder for indonesian to get visa, because your government assume we will be illegal immigrant, or we will spread terrorism, etc.
We all have the rules based on assumption i guess. -
Hi Farah…
As much as I don’t agree with Andy who seems awfully bitter about Indonesia in general..
Discrimination is just that and just because another country does it does not make it right..It’s a slippery slope that leads to ugly places.
As your wife can’t sponsor you maybe more because these days our government seemed still see indonesia women as weak and vulnerable creature that need more protection than men, as we do very easy to fool by sweet words promises etc. (wink wink), maybe thats the reason why we, indonesian women can’t sponsor foreigner. They afraid we’ve fooled for wrong reason.
And you as woman are prepared to accept that cave man thinking?
Just the same reason why it harder for indonesian to get visa, because your government assume we will be illegal immigrant,
Realistically the illegal immigrant is a fair call based on the facts wouldn’t you say? Sad truth is that despite being the most resource rich country in the region, Indonesians have been betrayed by successive governments to the stage where a better life is often away from their homeland and as an illegal immigrant.
However short term ego induced paranioa leads the powers that be to introduce silly Visa Regulations to Indonesia (if they do it to us …then,….). I personally have no issues, Indonesian country – their rules although a laughable case of cutting off your nose to spite your face. Tourist Dollars (money for jam) go elsewhere…who really suffers (although that is rarely a concern for the powers that be in Indonesia as long we save face)
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ET says:
@ Farah
Locals free.. tourist/foreigner pay ?? locals less money to spent, foreigner pay more ?
Agreed with the first part. The second is rubbish.
Locals less money to spend? I’m sick of hearing this. Please spare us the garbage that all Indonesians are poor and all foreigners, especially whites, have money trees in their garden. While there are poor Indonesians in the place where I live there are also a lot who are doing quite well, not to mention the stinking rich ones. So your argument is clueless.
But I do agree that certain cultural sites should be free for locals – it’s their heritage after all – and that foreigners should contribute. But when I say foreigners I mean all foreigners, not like what I experienced when I had to pay an entrance fee at an obyek wisata and a (btw rich) Pakistani acquaintance was allowed in for free because his skin was darker.
@ Oigal
However short term ego induced paranioa leads the powers that be to introduce silly Visa Regulations to Indonesia (if they do it to us …then,….).
True. Instead of taking on a realistic approach they prefer to beat their chests like monkeys and base their policies on reciprocity – which was what happended in 2004 when the new visa regulations came into force – without questioning the reasons why some countries may have good reasons to have stricter regulations, not only to avoid flooding and protect their own but also to avoid exploitation of immigrants and ghetto forming.
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@ ET
Locals less money to spend? I’m sick of hearing this. Please spare us the garbage that all Indonesians are poor and all foreigners, especially whites, have money trees in their garden. While there are poor Indonesians in the place where I live there are also a lot who are doing quite well, not to mention the stinking rich ones. So your argument is clueless.
I am not only talking about things that happening in Indonesia, but also in several different countries.
I want to made it clear that i wont accept the saying this is indonesian habits, to think foreigners have more money. Its also happening in Thailand and Malaysia.
Then why always say indonesia ?? don’t made it sound like its authentically or only found in Indonesia.
…or maybe i could assumed you never been to both countries that i just mentioned???
Whats your clueless argument about this ? 😉
well… fyi, that’s what happened to me when i visit thailand and malaysia.
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@ Farah
I want to made it clear that i wont accept the saying this is indonesian habits, to think foreigners have more money. Its also happening in Thailand and Malaysia.
Then what I said also applies to Thais and Malaysians.
…btw are we still talking about dating indonesian girl? or about human right ? and overpriced groceries?
OK, back to topic then.
Here’s some advice for bules who want to date an Indonesian girl.
– If you are her first bule affair you might as well give it a chance.
– If there has been already one other bule in her life, check out thoroughly why it ended.
– If she has been involved with more bules dump her immediately. She’s more than probably a gold digger.Oh yes, and get used to sleep with the lights on.
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dyakulture says:
Please let me first apologize to all the “Bule’s” reading this since unless you have been living in a Cave for the past 50 years or this is really off the mark but I am only responding to this response from Farah using the same type of thinking.
@Farah
So, ‘Farah’ if that is your name? right? lets get this totally straight, which I know is hard for you being born into Indonesian Culture, but anyway please try for a change… you said in your own words calling another person a “Nigger” is a term of endearment, correct?Ok now we have your complete attention – are you sitting comfortably my little child… in your words we can referee to others by simplistic stereotypical iconic terms of endearment rather than by using more culturally aware nomenclature…”
If this is the case then I repeat “In your own words” … it is completely fine and no problem whatsoever for Bules to shout and taunt others in the street using this types of iconic terminology…
So, the only question now is what are we going to call Indonesian’s using ’Farah’s’ iconic style. Well in your words ‘Farah’, we need something iconic, right? So, how about something close to Indonesians social cultural personality, behavior, facial characteristic and demure just for example….
So in your words it is oke for all “Bule’s” to call all Indonesian Women ‘Monkeys’, because referring to others by iconic racial branding is fine according to the ‘Farah’ ideology..
These are your words ‘Farah’ not mine – so don’t think of complaining since this is HOW YOU THINK, NOT ME!
So from now on this website ‘Indonesian Matters’, and according to ‘Farah’ we can now all refer to Indonesian women as – MONKEY’s
All this according to ‘Farah’s’ way of thinking so remember when we address others who are Indonesian – we should say – Dear MONKEY, oke Farah!
To re-iterate – ‘Farah’ has given everyone permission to refer to Indonesian Women on this site as ‘MONKEY’ (and don’t forget the capitals).
@Odinius
Well ‘Odinius’ – where did you copy that name from? Anyway, you mention some good points but am so disappointed to see that your intelligence is mimicking that of an old steam train. I can pardon Khafi for having only half a brain but I guess you are a ‘Bule’, and your brain is stuck in the same rut as the train tracks too. Didn’t your English Teacher ever tell you how bad it is to think and read in a ‘literal’ manner all the time – it is stifling to human creativity and intelligence, which as you so clearly highlight is severely lacking. English Language Skills ‘F- (Fail)’.@Khafi
Well just for interest when I was in Indonesia I had to phone the Police on numerous occasions in order to deal with the abusive Javanese Neighbours… the Police told my friend “they are just like Animals… better you live in your own country or buy a gun and go round shooting them for a hobby since no-one here will care about a few dead Javanese anyway!”So, it is “official” there are too many abusive and anti-social Indonesians living in ‘Indonesia Today‘. So, these are the words we should put-up on the front of this website – ‘Indonesian Police Warning to all Bule’s – keep away from Indonesia!’
Then in the future when Indonesia looks more like Myanmar – we can simply Nuke the whole site as a typhoid infested burden on the rest of the world.
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@ET
Sleeping with the lights on is because the demons come out the Monkeys body of a night and it is one of the forms of protection from themselves.
Monkey’s as ‘Serial Bule’ hunters makes no difference – I dated and married a Demon Monkey who had only been with other Monkey’s but she still tried to cheat, lye, and act with no responsibility and bad behavior whenever I was not looking.
So, you can’t make assumptions about Monkey’s since same like their character it is always changing so you never know where the hell you are other than dating Monkey’s is like dating evil in its purest form!
However, evil can be addressed once recognized – so I go get my own Magic, Magician’s and home grown hoodoo from Indonesia to help get this demon exorcised and put in her rightful place – back to hell!
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Dyakulture, dude, are you ok?
I am genuinely concern about you.
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TTT,
I was just asking. This dude is obviously having unfinished business and issues.
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@ Mr Tic Tac Toe
thanks for the concern it is really appreciated in the warmest sense of the words..
am only attempting to get some sense into this ridiculously misleading website… maybe there should be a link to the British Gov. website which warns every sane person not to travel on Indonesian Aircraft or visit the country unless really necessary…
So, the idea of the thought of then dating one of these Monkey’s is even more ridiculous – unless we give this website a more accurate title..
‘Brain Dead Bule’s Dating Monkey’s Website’ (eBDBDM) or eDickhead for short…?
what you think – maybe you got a more accurate name for dating Monkey’s?
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dyakulture,
This website compasses more than this particular thread, which is vulnerable for all kinds of silly debates between bules and Indonesians. From the “About section” of this site:
What is Indonesia Matters (IM) about?The site’s primary themes are politics, culture, religion and religious freedom issues, with a particular focus on what might be called Islamization, but sometimes stories fall into the category of globalization, westernization, or other. Additionally there are more light-hearted pieces on popular culture and current events.
Nothing misleading at all. Just a blog where one can discuss with one another on issues related to Indonesia.
If you don’t like this site then don’t comment here…
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@Laire dion (Worwick)
What? Thanks for the explanaaatiiioooonn…. so you are the ‘WEBMASTER’, Security Guard, Key holder, arse licker etc…. this is looking like what Megawati recently described about the elections…
This so called open forum is corrupted for the purpose of selling Indonesia Monkey’s to Bules – you just admitted this yourself in your email!
So, all Bules reading this now take note – we know this is a corrupt info feed much like everything else in Indonesia… including dating Monkey’s as a form of generating money and providing free social welfare services for Monkey‘s…
how many other Indonesian related sites are doing this are too numerous to mention but oke i will mention the worst culprit of Indo-online corruption – ‘Trip Advisor’ … they don’t even recognize the term BULE – what a scam!
In Megawati’s greatest wording style…
ALL BULES TAKE NOTE THIS SITE IS CORRUPTED AND IS MONITORED FOR THE PROMOTION OF BULE SCAMMING WOMEN!
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LOL, we have another numpty on this thread…. 🙂
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diego says:
Been a long time since someone (not me) got dragie bailing out, and lairedion with his “tracking to porn site” got smirkley hiding, now we have dyakulture. Nice, I can put my fishing stick to use again.
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DumadiSatrio says:
Imagine if they all showed up at one
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@dyakulture….
dating Monkey’s as a form of generating money and providing free social welfare services for Monkey‘s
Dating Monkey’s what? Their owners? Their friends? what? I need to know.
Notice in the above quote: Monkey’s and Monkey‘s…notice the apostrophes.
In one sentence he used apostrophes from opposite ends of the keyboard. I know this sounds like nothing, but it does clue me in that there is something seriously wrong going on in there. -
kiwibali says:
whao…. Dyakulture is becoming more and more racist by day. so we are monkeys now apparently.
Maybe i missed it, but could someone explain to me how Farah previous comments can be used by Dyakulture to justify his/her use of the word monkeys to identify Indonesian again?Foreigner got charged more than local, yeah thats bullshit. But looking it from a poor local eyes perpective….
“hey they can afford the plane ticket here and stay in a fancy hospital and spend their money on luxury items instead of basic necessities. They must have more money, lets get their money, charge them more. They wont mind, they have heaps left” The end justify the mean, utilitarian school of thought if you like. or maybe you can see it as a progressive tax in a sense, the richer got tax more.
I’m in no way saying the behaviour is O.K. But please dont jump into conclusion that its because of racism as such. The thing is, on average all caucasian, and to some degree asian (north asian) in Indonesian are well off. If all wealthy people (Pribumi) included have some distinct characteristics and can show to people that they are wealthy, they will also surely be targeted with the whole ‘different price’ regime.
Sure its crap, discriminatory behavior in any case is bad, including affirmative action. But so long as the gap of wealth between races are still big, these sort of discriminatory behavior unfortunately will be around.going back to the topic.
If you have a bad experience with a member of a certain ethnic group, please dont say that the whole group is like that.
Its like saying that all Germans are racist and sadistic, because of a few people in the Nazi party. All South African are racist and elitist, because of a few people in the goverment back in the late 20th century, that says that apartheid is the way to go.
all group have its bad apples. -
Dyakuture a British PN?.. Just goes to prove that ignorant kampungan does is not defined by national boundries. Got scammed did you DK..Gotta love Karma..
KiwiBali..
“But looking it from a poor local eyes perpective….” Skipping the Kampungan racist nonsense, that’s the point..Time Indonesia moved on from “this poor locals” mentality. 1stly What’s a local? Bakrie, Kalla, Sby?
2. For those genuine poor… Why are the locals so poor in the richest nation in South East Asia…See Bakrie, Kalla, Sby again (and the complacent middle class that allows those and other to continue the plunder).
3. All foreigners are not rich but those that feel ripped off by discrimatory prices, shoddy infrastructure and touts will soon find better places to spend that hard earned money and that will have a far greater effect on the “poor locals”Lastly (and this should be fun) If some really feel the need to have discrimintary prices, thern shouldn’t it be religious based as Mulsim Majority are profiting from the minority Buddhist and Hindu Temples and places of worship.
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Oigal.
agree mate. The reason why I wrote that is to give another perspective on why the ‘different price’ regime exist. I just dont like the fact that some people just jumped straight to “those people are racist” coz they gave us different price, just because we are white. and yeah some people might uses racism to justify their action, as i said before not everyone are perfect, we all have our bad apples.
If they acknowledged, even in small prints, that desperation of a better life coupled with lack of education could be the factor that drove people to this behavior, then I dont have much to argue about.What is a local?? I’m not gonna go this issue again. But just to be clear my definition of local, is not based on race.
yeah agree politician could’ve done a better job, im with you in this. why havent they? i’ll let the politic major to argue about it. I just know that they innability of the different presidents, to lift this country from poverty has to do with more than just corrupt mentality. There are genuine politicians out there, that wants the best for the people. But the system in place has limited their options. On top of my head, IMF and world bank terms that came with its loan.
Yeah not all foreigners are rich, fully agree. If the number of tourist drop because of the discriminatory price, then the market dictate that the ‘sellers’ will change their prices to reflect this. Most places in the world, uses some sort ‘cost-benefit’ thinking in deciding prices. They based it in either experience (tourist stop coming) or statistic.
just as a example. If i own some sort of antique place in Bali and the cost-price of a patung is $2. i know that the tourist are more than happy to pay $4 for a patung (because the price of similar item where they are from is 50% dearer), but the Balinese can only pay $2.50because of the limitation set by the wage. I would as smart seller sell the patung for $4 and receive $2 profit.
But what would the Balinese says? “hey mate i know you need to make a living and what not. But I only have $2.50, surely you can help me out” If I dont ‘help’ them out I would be outcast as money shark! therefore making my life a living hell.
I could just have blanket price of $4 and charge everyone the same price as to get a somewhat a modest return that i can save to better my children through education, like I ussualy did. But at the end one of the Balinese will come and say “help a fellow balinese out”.
Or I have a blanket price of $2.50 for everyone, ensure that everyone are happy. But with such a low return could not grant my children the same level of education that I could’ve given if I charge $4
So the question then follow, does the mean justify the end?If the discriminatory prices are based on religion then i can only see further distruction to the country. But lets leave that for another thread, lets go back to the topic. Dating Indonesian girl.
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lomboksurfer says:
How do you stop your Indonesian girl friend from being super attentive to your needs, great in bed, caring, and loving of everything you do?
Answer 1: Marry her answer 2: Lose your job answer 3; introduce her to someone richer than you
Ha ha ha ha ha you bloody idiots for even thinking of marrying one of those bloody brown sweet tarts! Just remember a great girl friend doesn’t necessarily result in an equally great wife.
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Apr89 says:
Wow!! Rofl!! I’ve just come here and read a lil bit and found this is such a very really funny interesting forum. Hahahaha..!!! Sorry if there’s someone offended cos of my laugh.
OK, I agreed to a point here with respect to western guys. Not all western guys are playboys and/or dumb. Most of them are bright, sweet, open, romantic, and respectful. I myself have an Aussie BF and I exactly aware that we love each other very much. Both me and him never take any advantages from one another, instead we share many things together etc etc. He is an educated person and has a good job but I never asked him to buy me anything. I treat him normally as someone who I really in love with, I love him genuinely, and there is no special manner I do just because he is a western guy, even though he’s tall and handsome tho :). He always understand me heaps:).I do have westerner friends from many countries aside Oz so I know that not all western people are jerks, but yeah there are some who merely want to have fun with Asian girls when they visit an Asian country, but not only with Asian girls you know because they do it as well as in their countries with their western counterparts, I can only say BE SMART AND STAY CAREFUL to another Indonesian girls, esp’ to those who are interested in dating western guys who they have not known well! 😉
I would also like to speak up regarding salary, I agreed to what Avi says. Most expats who work in Indonesia are willing to take on challenges and adventurous, doesn’t mean that they do not have high ability to work or obtain low salary in their own countries.
Above all, what sort of manner Indonesian girls got from western guys, it depends on the Indonesian girl instead! It should back on what she wants from the western guy and how she behaves towards him, she must prove that she has values, self-worth, good character, and deserves respect and the best always, that’s all! It’s pretty ez 😉
Remember, you will own a good quality person if you are a good quality person too.
Having good quality inside out is lovely and integral 🙂Good luck every body!!
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Since this thread has also veered to racism let me quote a post of timdog, a commentator in this forum a while ago, who made an interesting remark on the various kinds of racism depending on culture and ethnicity.
@ timdog
If you read this I hope you don’t mind me having archived your comment and quoting you. It would also be interesting to know how you would typify American and Australian racism.