Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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Farah says:
@ Reggie
Well its normal, sometimes there’s some crazy guys from internet.. so she might feel excited to meet new friends, or maybe a boyfriend to be, but she still unsure about the real person, because sometimes people not who they really describe online, tends to be different (hehe some MUCH better, so don’t be sad).She said that her parents trust me, so if I can manage the time and go with the group, the âacara will not be âmacam2?â (typically Indonesian family).
…hehehe i could imagine this… its worse when you have a sumatra parents that will say it very straight what things you shouldn’t “do”. hahahaha !
Maybe next time its your turn ! so, yeah, help your friend and try to enjoy it…. for her !
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Too Much says:
My son is involved with an Indo woman whom I call “She Devil”. Engaged. Ha ha.
She was sweet on the phone for 3 freaking years and plays mind games all the time.
A rip roaring selfish monster who has no sense of propriety, accuses him of all sorts of shit that is totally unreal and uncalled for. Now she is here but hopefully she will go back.
I cannot understand this behavior of sulking pouting accusing nastiness etc.
It is common knowledge here in the States about the predatory nature and to marry a bule man for money.
These women are useless on purpose.
I am not sorry to say that Kipling was right – “East is East and West is West, and never the two shall meet”.
This isn’t love and a relationship, it is manipulative behavior.
If this is what men want, maybe they should go bang their heads on the floors some more. -
Mohammed Khafi says:
@Too Much,
It saddens me that you use stereotypes when you state “It is common knowledge here in the States about the predatory nature and to marry a bule man for money.
These women are useless on purpose.”Yes there are some Indonesian women who are like that, but that doesn’t mean they all are, I am sure the there are good and bad in both sexes in all races, please do not paint all Indonesian women with the same brush!
Perhaps you would be better off talking to your son about his girlfriend, rather than repeating these false stereotypes on an open forum?
On another matter, Rudyard Kipling originally wrote âEast is East and West is West, and never the twain shall meetâ.
Of course there are many mixed race/mixed culture couples who would probably disagree with you on his statement. But they do tend to be those who are more culturally educated or culturally accepting than those who like you accept the statement as being true.
Peace
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@ too much
…was engaged for 5 years, talk with phone etc. I am not she evil. I didn’t request his money, i work my self to pay my phone bill !
Why you take conclution because one of us is a b*tch doesnt mean all of us just the same. If you do that i could say all USA guys are a*shole ! because thats what my ex is.
Nope, he didnt dump me, i dump him. He made his friend accidentally pregnant (stupid). And ask me question what to do.Still have dignity (or stupidity?), i tell him to married that girl.
And it end after the baby was born. Thats the last time i ever contact him.
Before say all of us she evil, better ask your son, where he met her, What she does. etc.
No wonder so many people hate you, and your people, you never trying to see from different side of your fish tank.
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dyakulture says:
This is so true – great comments…
the reality is that dating Javanese Women can all too often be like dating the equivalent of a ‘evil possessed demon’… but just dressed in a prettier outfit… still the same “SATAN” mentality with a CHILD-PARENT relationship with everyone they meet….
so all those idiots who are thinking of dating or living in a country that has NO FAMILY VISA’s for foreigners… and treat Bule’s like an unpaid NI charity…
do yourself a favor and read some Books about Indonesia first and speak to Bule’s who have experienced it already and am sure you will find the answers you need…
lets face it the fact “Whites” are called “Bules” in the first place says it all really – Bule’s are the new Niggers of the world!
what you said…
Author: Too Much
Comment:My son is involved with an Indo (satan) woman whom I call “She Devil”. Engaged. Ha ha.
She was sweet on the phone for 3 freaking years and plays mind games all the time. (child-PARENT mentality)…
A rip roaring selfish monster who has no sense of propriety, accuses him of all sorts of shit that is totally unreal and uncalled for. Now she is here but hopefully she will go back.
I cannot understand this behavior of sulking pouting accusing nastiness etc.
It is common knowledge here in the States about the predatory nature and to marry a bule man for money. (too right)
These women are useless on purpose. (LAZY is the word you are looking for)
I am not sorry to say that Kipling was right – “East is East and West is West, and never the two shall meet”.
This isn’t love and a relationship, it is manipulative behavior. (SCAM)
If this is what men want, maybe they should go bang their heads on the floors some more.(never a truer word spoken)…
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Odinius says:
It is common knowledge here in the States about the predatory nature and to marry a bule man for money.
These women are useless on purpose.It is common knowledge here in the States that racist stereotyping is retarded.
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so all those idiots who are thinking of dating or living in a country that has NO FAMILY VISAâs for foreigners⌠and treat Buleâs like an unpaid NI charityâŚ
Minor point but not true now, family unifation, oops, unification based KITAS is possible, for man or woman –
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With the exception of Dyakulture, I would like to address the rest of you.
IF this country is so awful, why are you all so eager to come here? It couldn’t be because of economic problems, religious/political problems, and the general attitude of that we are pigeons therefore fair game, could it?
For Odinius:right back at you buddy.
For Farah: Stop taking our money. All bule men’s money. Get honest.My impression is that of a culture that uses charm like a snake to entice the men as the women know well that once they get in the door, the man caves in unless he has good support from his friends.
Why is there so much child prostitution in Indonesia? How do you explain that within your culture?I will drown any chldren of this union. You do that within your culture, so why not?
No one has a pussy made of gold. And if they did, it wouldn’t make up for the mental issues created by this child/parent issue. It is a stereotypical case of taking advantage of those who have and live free, and then crying about how awful we are.
If you don’t like us, stay away. Really. Put your women on a leash. Let them marry their own kind so there isn’t any misunderstanding.
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Andy says:
too much and dyaculture are spot on. Problem is it is not only the womenfolk but the general nature of the people who are nice to one’s face but nasty and evil the rest of the time. One flaw in the Indonesian make up is their inability to ever admit that maybe the bule is correct or that the Indo is wrong towards them. In too much’s case I have no doubt the family of the girl in question knows about her behavior and is actively encouraging it. One is only as good as they are raised. They will make sure she bleeds his bank account dry while she is sponsoring them to also live in the states. Then they will try and accuse the guy of abusing her or some other fabrication. One only has to read some of the racist, xenophobic threads of some of the Indos who frequent these pages to know what they are dealing with.
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re: ‘Khafi’
In response to the âKhafiâ who quoted âKiplingâ directly – it might be worth noting these points below the next time you are thinking of trying to write âcleverlyâ in English or in your English Learning Class.
Depending on the medium of communication it is common practice in Contemporary English Language for native English Speakers/writers to utilise the function of modernization of âold Englishâ quotations. Transferring ‘old English’ into popular modern English in order to help with communication of one particular message, meaning or another is correct usage within contemporary English literature particularly by American Speakers/Writers utilizing American English.
In addition, to directly quote ‘old English’ in a contemporary English setting or medium of communication would look ludicrous and pompous even – so is mostly avoided as a form of communicating meaning within contemporary usage.
So, the writer of this email was correct by taking the quotation out of its context and placing it into a more modern context in order to clarify and clearly state the intended meaning within the surroundings of the medium utilized.
However, for none-Native speakers of English all this would make no sense at all – since often poorly educated speakers of other languages really can’t understand the nuances that comprise contemporary English Language usage.
Since the response writer is from Indonesia then it is clear this writer (Khafi) has no proper understanding of contemporary English Language usage in a Cultural context of an English reader focused website.
So, rather next time if the writer decides to comment about the English Language and it’s usage in a pompous manner it might be worth trying to learn the language first!
However, despite this the first writer was making quite a valid comment since Indonesia despite gaining Millions in State Funding from the American and European community continues to isolate itself socially in many ways for example:
1. NO FAMILY VISA FOR BULES (unlike in the UK where Indonesians married to Bules live and get free Medical treatment)
2. BULES NOT PERMITTED TO HAVE FAMILY HOME IN OWN NAME (unlike in the UK where Indonesians are allowed to Buy a house in their own name)
3. BULES FACE RACIAL ABUSE IN INDONESIA (racial abuse in Indonesia on a daily basis from Indonesians referring to White people as ‘Bules’ is common. This is very much the same as in Nazi Germany and the racism experienced by the Jews. In addition, in the 1900s in America when African’s where referred to as âNiggersâ when living in America leading to the Civil rights movement, which led to numerous laws being created regarding racism. The consequence of these laws are what enabled President Obama to gain Office. However, Indonesia is still living in the past and has no such laws and so remains isolated from the rest of the world in its “low moral attitude”, towards those from other countries.
âPEACEâ – is convenient for Indonesianâs while Indonesia has no Nuclear Weapons but if Indonesia did have Nuclear Weapons then same as with the chaos that exists in Indonesian Society due to a defect in Society of not being able to form âADULT-ADULTâ relationships and responding to emotions with Child like mentalityâŚthe whole world would be in turmoil!
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re: Patung
This Visa you mention does not allow the ‘Bule’ to ‘work’ and so support his family in Indonesia – instead only permitted to stay and do nothing at all.
So what kind of progress is that?
Can you imagine all the African’s in America being told you can stay with your American Wife but sorry you can’t work!
I wonder what President Obama thinks about all this racism by Indonesians towards foreigners going on in Indonesia today?
Maybe Obama should see these messages being created by ‘Bules’ being hijacked by racist Indonesians on this website… maybe we should post them on Blog’s so the whole world can see the secret – the home of the last hidden real Nazi’s – Indonesia?
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To dynakulture – thank you for the explanation of current english usage. I would also say that Hearst was right, but I’ll get flamed for the Spanish/American War possibly.
I forgot, but have luckily remembered in time, the part of the wedding ceremony that asks the question,”If there is any reason why these two should not be joined in matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace”. Ahem.
Indonesia is a literal police state if you examine it closely. I wouldn’t care if this dragonlady were pleasant, educated and not a terminal wingnut. FYI if you wish to call me racist, rock on. My grandmother remarried a Chinese from Trinidad after the WW2.
He abused her in all fashions possible for years until she died. My sister married an dutch/indo who surpassed all known abusive behavior until she divorced him and also gave up their child because of what he had wrought. There is a pattern here culturally.
I just don’t wish to be a part of it. It’s like Mexico – they lease you the land, take your money, and pitch you out if they don’t kill you first.This all begs the question: why are these women deserting their culture for greener pastures? No man deserves this treatment if he enters into a relationship expecting a loving wife, not just someone who irons his smalls. Bule should be changed to “victim or easy pickings”.
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To dyakulture, I apologise for the mispelling.
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Mr Tic Tac Toe says:
Ibu Too much :
IF this country is so awful, why are you all so eager to come here? It couldnât be because of economic problems, religious/political problems, and the general attitude of that we are pigeons therefore fair game, could it?
Maybe because “all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.” ?
If you don’t want that evil-“you all”-creatures to come to your country, perhaps you should remove the above text from your constitution.
As for the “She Devil”, i think she used black magic or something. You should treat her accordingly đ
Tn. Dyakulture:lets face it the fact âWhitesâ are called âBulesâ in the first place says it all really – Buleâs are the new Niggers of the world!
Really? I have always thought it was a sign of adoration.
I mean, if a pale indonesian is called a bule, he/she would take it as a compliment.
However, despite this the first writer was making quite a valid comment since Indonesia despite gaining Millions in State Funding from the American and European community continues to isolate itself socially in many ways for example:
1. NO FAMILY VISA FOR BULES (unlike in the UK where Indonesians married to Bules live and get free Medical treatment)
I see.
So your point is, you give money, we should change our laws according to your tastes?
So it was not even about what is RIGHT, it is only because UK did it, and UK give money, so we must follow UK ? -
For Odinius:right back at you buddy.
I’m American, and find your comments ignorant and embarrassing. So what, exactly, is coming “back at me?” More ignorance? đ
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Odinius says:Iâm American, and find your comments ignorant and embarrassing. So what, exactly, is coming âback at me?â More ignorance?
Look pal, there is something called the first amendment. kind of tattered and weary, but still there.
I’m real tired of stupidity masquerading as intelligence. “right back at you” is a phrase that is rather self evident. Ignorance doesn’t enter into it.
And besides, you are off topic.
IF you don’t like what I write, don’t read it bright boy. End of story. -
Pak Too Much,
If I’m not mistaken, freedom of speech also applies to telling you that your comments on women from Indonesia are “ignorant and embarrassing.” Since this is private forum, though, the owner and proprietor would have to decide whether or not that–or your original statement–was okay with him. In making said decisions, he would be unlikely to consult the US Constitution, however, given that this forum is based in–and about–Indonesia.
But seriously, Too Much, perhaps I was unfair, and you do have general knowledge of all Indonesian women. Tell us how you became acquainted with the 115 million women of Indonesia, or what sampling methods you used to draw general conclusions.
Anxiously awaiting…
Sincerely,
Pak Odinius
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@ too much
For Farah: Stop taking our money. All bule menâs money. Get honest.
My impression is that of a culture that uses charm like a snake to entice the men as the women know well that once they get in the door, the man caves in unless he has good support from his friends.
Why is there so much child prostitution in Indonesia? How do you explain that within your culture?heyy MISTER..!!! before saying that.. i have my job to pay my self, i am not SL*T who’s open my legs wide to get YOU DOLLARS.
You sound like EVIL your self.
I work 12 hours per day for 20 days per month, working on new year eve or christmast or even sunday or saturday. While you and your white a*s still sleeping on your bed, or sitting down on your lazy chair on your garden, cursing indonesia women because taking your son MONEY???
Stop taking your money ??? who do you think you are ??? DONAL TRUMP ??????? HA-HA!!!
You just as stupid and narrow minded as primitive tribe from some jungle. And don’t be so proud calling your self american because of your comments.
My american students friends NONE sound like you.
And.. wow… evil because black magic or something??? haha.. and you call your self a christian? well i dont know about that…
If you don’t like my comments don’t read it, i am free to say everything that i want here.
Have you even ever been to indonesia mister ?????????????
Come here, ill show you what honesty means (can’t believe this is come out from your stupid head, haha), like you really know what honesty means.
Before write something think with your brain not with your knee mister !
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Lairedion says:
Farah said:
You just as stupid and narrow minded as primitive tribe from some jungle.
C’mon Farah, there’s no need to insult primitive jungle tribes by comparing them to Yanks… đ
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@ lairedion
Câmon Farah, thereâs no need to insult primitive jungle tribes by comparing them to Yanks⌠đ
hihihi.. you got a point there… at least during my research there, they really appreciate women … now realize those primitive tribe sound more civilize than this yank here.
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also have to quote this jerk writing..
My impression is that of a culture that uses charm like a snake to entice the men as the women know well that once they get in the door, the man caves in unless he has good support from his friends.
Why is there so much child prostitution in Indonesia? How do you explain that within your culture?..and guess whos the most paedophilia’s found in bali or phuket ? or rest of the world.. and errhh that famous guy who had his own children for what 20 years or so ??
Could i call you super jerk because i see what that guy did to his daughter?? have kids from her? lock her on basement ? he is a WHITE MEN/bule any way… you should be the same then (using the way you think with “DENGKUL MIND”).
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Nn. Farah:
..and guess whos the most paedophiliaâs found in bali or phuket ? or rest of the world.. and errhh that famous guy who had his own children for what 20 years or so ??
Oh, come on now, let’s not become like her.
We cannot judge her on what others did.Perhaps that concept is too alien to her. But we know better.
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Câmon Farah, thereâs no need to insult primitive jungle tribes by comparing them to YanksâŚ
*ahem*
Iâm American, and find your comments ignorant and embarrassing. So what, exactly, is coming âback at me?â More ignorance?
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@ mr tic tac
…yeah… you right about this…@ odinius
…upss… i didn’t meant to insult all of USA guys, or white guys, hehehe…. just this guy.. who seemed really proud of his nation (nothing wrong with that) but act like he is no where live in that nation. Not from people that i know from there, i met most fabulous nice American FAMILY during my university time. They teach me their culture, i teach them mine.. well they were here more than 5 years, and speak more fluent sundanese language than me !Anyway… you know i didn’t meant to say all mean words there to you or other people else than that jerk.
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@Dyakulture you said:
Depending on the medium of communication it is common practice in Contemporary English Language for native English Speakers/writers to utilise the function of modernization of âold Englishâ quotations. Transferring âold Englishâ into popular modern English in order to help with communication of one particular message, meaning or another is correct usage within contemporary English literature particularly by American Speakers/Writers utilizing American English.
Overzealous use of capitalisation, Americanised spelling, incorrect grammar, poor punctuation. Not very good for a native speaker of English.
If Rudyard Kipling had wished to use the word “two” he could have done so, therefore it can safely be presumed that he wished to use the word “twain” to confer a certain meaning or feeling to his verse.
I have to say that I am suprised that somebody from the UK should be so supportive of the dumbing down of the English language, arguably the richest language in the world. How low will you go?
As to your other points:
1. NO FAMILY VISA FOR BULES
I believe Patung has already answered this point.
2. BULES NOT PERMITTED TO HAVE FAMILY HOME IN OWN NAME
Perhaps you should read this article:
LandLaw3. BULES FACE RACIAL ABUSE IN INDONESIA
And Indonesian’s don’t in the UK or America?, there are rascists in every country and culture, we have to either educate them or we have to learn to ignore them. You are obviously of the latter group as far as TooMuch’s stereotypically racist comments go and seem to be of the first group as far as perceived racial abuse of yourself is regarded. Why the double standards?
As Mr Tic Tac Toe has pointed out, a fair skinned Indonesia, is proud to carry the nickname “Bule”, it can’t be such a derogatory term if that is the case can it?
You said:
This is very much the same as in Nazi Germany and the racism experienced by the Jews. In addition, in the 1900s in America when Africanâs where referred to as âNiggersâ when living in America leading to the Civil rights movement, which led to numerous laws being created regarding racism.
Let me get this right, you are suggesting that being called “Bule” is comparable to being a Jew in Nazi Germany or to being an African American during the years before civil rights? You must have serious phsychological problems to think like that!
Peace anyway!
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Mohamed and TTT, wrong guys…..If you can honestly say that the level of racism in the west is anywhere near the same level as in Indonesia you are seriously sniffing the funny stuff. If you guys in the west were leered at, sniggered at and charged more for most items you would be severly outraged. And if you couldn’t migrate our way properly you would most likely call Amnesty International. Good day…..
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@ andy
….well maybe we’re not paying more… but for sure its getting harder to get USA visa! while for other countries like Canada, Australia, Europe, not as hard as indonesia? so don’t blame us if we charge you more !
… and btw outraged sum of money for your money or indonesian money?? since one us dollars is 11 thousand rupiah these days… tempe in indonesia and tempe in USA will have different price too.. same like clothing, here for 150.000 you could find very nice clothes, in usa US15 only worth maybe a pair of socks. Maybe its not fair to you, but fair for some people.
why can’t you see from different side?
Jangan pake kacamata kuda dong!
…btw are we still talking about dating indonesian girl? or about human right ? and overpriced groceries?
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@Andy,
I have many Bule friends who have lived happily in Indonesia for 20 years or more, they don’t complain of having been targeted racially, but then again they have made efforts to understand the Indonesian culture and mindset.
Perhaps you have an attitude which invites leering, sniggering, and overcharging, or possibly you are oversensitive, possibly due to a feeling of insecurity?
Good day to you too sir…..
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Tn. Andy, Yth:
If you can honestly say that the level of racism in the west is anywhere near the same level as in Indonesia you are seriously sniffing the funny stuff
Perhaps not.
But think about it like this, if you put a well-known supermodel (say, heidi klum) to walk on the street in a poor black neighborhood which is on the verge of a gang war, would you dare to say that heidi klum can survive long there alone, or she will not get funny treatments?
To most of poor Indonesians, bules are like supermodels. And we have too many poor uneducated people here.
So if you get funny treatment, you should realize that perhaps you are on the wrong hood. You simply are too beautiful to be in that area.
The most rational thing to do is, move to another neighborhood.
Maybe you were actually living in a racist west, but you didn’t realize it because you were not the target.
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@ Farah
hehe… thx for the advice đ
Yup… it’s all back to the “instinct” thing.
Btw I’ve told my friend that I won’t come with her because I got sick (it’s really true, I sneezed many times during her phonecall and now I’m still not in a perfect condition. Bandung is very hot in the morning, and it rains sooo hard in the afternoon, it happens almost everyday). But I got more suprise: She asked me to visit a good doctor, take good medicine and let her to pay the bill, as long as I can accompany her on that journey! (In Bahasa: segitunya….!) She said that her parents trust me, so if I can manage the time and go with the group, the “acara will not be “macam2″” (typically Indonesian family). At last she can accept that I’m kinda reluctant to join the trip (although if at the last second I say OK, she must be in a total rejoice đ ).