Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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Tony says:
@Uwie
Take it easy :)! You are right about the selling of Indonesian resources overseas–your government is allowing the coal and oil companies to export the future of the country to other countries. As for Indonesians being stupid–I would say no more or less than anyone else–right?
I won’t disagree with you about the French–they tend not to be very nice unless Germany invades them (or reunifies–take your pick) and then they are over there saying “Bonjour mon ami, can you help us be free again”?
Don’t worry you will find the right guy, and if he is a bule I hope that he not a loser in his own country but rather a prince. Have fun and as frankie would say: “RELAX” đ
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LunaticTadpole says:
@ Farah
You still don’t get my point…
If I would like to have an easy catch or one night relationship, I might have them here and definitely better ones because girls here have major sex experiences and so on. Moreover I’m more atttracted from what you people call “bule”.But the point is not that .
@ Jen
Hilarious . đ
@AmericanInLove, Tony, Uwie, Farah
It getting interesting and I’d like to follow but all of you seems to think that you know better than the others.. Trust me, you DO NOT.
Read all your comments with cool mindset, you’ll then notice that all you’ve been arguing about is basically the same thing(idea) viewed and debated with different sights.. aka Never Ending Story. -
Ana says:
Those who are curious about ‘jealousy’ topic.
There are a few theories (of my observations solely therefore non-evidence based ;))indicating possible reasons for Indonesian women’s overt jealousy:
1. Insecurity of themselves
2. Have issue with trust
3. Learned behaviourThe embrio of Indonesian feminist movement was not until as late as early 1900s, by the infamous ‘Kartini’ who was privileged with a taste of western education and had her eyes opened on how much more Indonesian women could achieve. But long before AND long after, Indonesian women have always struggled with their identitiy crisis.
The expectation from both their culture/tradition and modern world grow immensely as time changes, thus breed new pressures and internal insecurity. Are they ‘fine enough’, ‘pretty enough’, ‘smart enough’, ‘skillful enough’? Are they meeting local society’s expectation? What about the modern world’s expectation? Wait, going out to clubs may be seen as being ‘bad girls’, wearing mini skirts may be thought as prostitutes, kissing in public you might get fined or jailed. I heard that a uni degree is nowadays desirable not just to get a good job but also to get a man (of any nationalities) with better status. But wait, if you have money then all of a sudden you’re nothing but a spoilt brat. Moan about some foreign men then you must be their jilted lover. Meanwhile, looking attractive is a must to secure your man from looking sideways because if you don’t have the looks you might as well ceased to exist.
What’s left out there that can be legitimate life outlets? What’s out there for Indonesian women to simply express themselves, to have a voice, without being prejudiced against? Who can they trust? Other women who might leap on your man? Men, who caused the problems on the first place?
If jealousy is all the problem you have, then count yourself lucky. As long as there is insight, it should be a behavour that can be unlearned. Would probably sound too practical, but my idea is to work on healthy self esteem and grow self-acceptance. For the partner, constant reassurance would help greatly and again, good open communication and clarify on what the hell is it that each other want!
To those who think Indonesian women are most replaceable:
The moment you think Indonesian women are replaceable, will be the moment you yourself become as replaceable as a tampon. Same goes with thinking money can buy you Indonesian love for rupiahs, you can take it and stick it to where the sun don’t shine.
While there is an element of truth that you can get as many women (Indonesians to Mongolians) as you like, why have a burnout before you start? It takes 2 to tango, please reflect about the whole situation including what YOU have done before blaming your missus. Don’t shy off from seeking professional help like counselling, you’re more of a man that way. How can sweeping your problems under the carpet help in the long run? Alas, if you’re addicted to sex and short term thrills you might miss out on a lasting relationship with a lovely naturally intelligent Indonesian woman. Or worse, you might end up as pretentious individuals who are really numb and lonely inside. So far, only Pirates of the Carribean’s Jack Sparrow seem to manage that– and he’s fictional. All the best, mate.
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Lairedion says:
@Tony
Again voicing colorful opinions on Indonesians on various threads here just because you married a Jakarta girl and had lived in our country for several years? Another bule who thinks he understands Indonesia better than Indonesians. What ancestry (I know you are Canadian) do you have so we can drop equally colorful stereotypes?
@uwie
You’re so right. Most bules hunting for Indo women are sore losers in their own countries.
@Farah
You go girl. You’re doing us proud.
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To those who are also curious about Indonesian womenâs overt jealousy.
My theories of causation are:
1. Insecurity of themselves
2. Have issue with trust
3. Learned behaviourI may be wrong, but for the sake of argument here we go.
The embryo of Indonesian feminist movement was not until as late as early 1900s, by the infamous ‘Kartini’ who was privileged with a taste of western education and had her eyes opened on how much more Indonesian women could achieve. But long before and long after, Indonesian women have always struggled with their identity crisis.
The expectation from both their culture/tradition and modern world grow immensely as time changes, thus breed new pressures and internal insecurity. Are they ‘fine enough’, ‘pretty enough’, ‘smart enough’, ‘skilful enough’? Are they meeting local society’s expectation? What about the modern world’s expectation? Wait, going out to clubs may be seen as being ‘bad girls’, wearing mini skirts may be thought as prostitutes, kissing in public you might get fined or jailed. I heard that a uni degree is nowadays desirable not just to get a good job but also to get a man (of any nationalities) with better status. But wait; if you have money then all of a sudden you’re nothing but a spoilt brat. Moan about some foreign men then you must be their jilted lover. Meanwhile, looking attractive is a must to secure your man from looking sideways because if you don’t have the looks you might as well ceased to exist.
What’s left out there that can be legitimate life outlets? What’s out there for Indonesian women to simply express themselves, to have a voice, without being constantly on the spot? Who can they trust? Other women who might leap on your man? Men, who caused the problems on the first place? Foreign men brings with them new way of thinking. Are they what they appear to be? How would these effecting Indonesian womenâs subjective trust?
If jealousy is the only problem you have, then count yourself lucky. As long as there is insight, it should be a behaviour that can be unlearned. Would probably sound too practical, but my idea is to work on healthy self esteem and grow self-acceptance. For the partner, constant reassurance would help greatly and again, good open communication and clarify on what the hell is it that each other want!
To those who think Indonesian women are most replaceable:
The moment you think Indonesian women are replaceable, will be when you yourself become as replaceable as a tampon. Same goes with with those thinking money can buy you Indonesian love; you can take your ego along with your liquid assets and stick them to where the sun doesnât shine.
While there is an element of truth that you can get as many women (Indonesians or Mongolians) as you like, why have a burnout before you start? It takes 2 to tango, please reflect about the whole situation including what YOU have done before blaming your missus. Don’t shy off from seeking professional help like counselling, you’re more of a man that way. How can sweeping your problems under the carpet help in the long run? Alas, if you’re addicted to sex and short term thrills you might miss out on a lasting relationship with a lovely naturally intelligent Indonesian woman. Or worse, you might end up as pretentious individuals who are really numb and lonely inside. So far, only Pirates of the Caribbeanâs Jack Sparrow seem to manage that– and he’s fictional. All the best and stay open-minded, mate;)
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To those who are also curious about Indonesian womenâs overt jealousy.
My theories of causation are:
1. Insecurity of themselves
2. Have issue with trust
3. Learned behaviourI may be wrong, but for the sake of argument here we go.
The embryo of Indonesian feminist movement was not until as late as early 1900s, by the infamous ‘Kartini’ who was privileged with a taste of western education and had her eyes opened on how much more Indonesian women could achieve. But long before and long after, Indonesian women have always struggled with their identity crisis.
The expectation from both their culture/tradition and modern world grow immensely as time changes, thus breed new pressures and internal insecurity. Are they ‘fine enough’, ‘pretty enough’, ‘smart enough’, ‘skilful enough’? Are they meeting local society’s expectation? What about the modern world’s expectation? Wait, going out to clubs may be seen as being ‘bad girls’, wearing a mini skirt may be thought as a soliciting attempt, kissing in public might get you fined or jailed. I heard that a uni degree is nowadays desirable not just to get a status and good job but also to get a man (of any nationalities) with even better status. But wait; if you have money then all of a sudden you’re nothing but a spoilt brat. Moan about some foreign men then you must be their jilted lover. Meanwhile, looking attractive is a must to secure your man from looking sideways because if you don’t have the looks you might as well ceased to exist.
What’s left out there that can be legitimate life outlets? What’s out there for Indonesian women to simply express themselves, to have a voice, without being constantly on the spot? Who can they trust? Other women who might leap on your man? Men, who caused the problems on the first place? Foreign men brings with them new way of thinking. Are they what they appear to be? How would these effecting Indonesian womenâs subjective trust?
If jealousy is the only problem you have, then count yourself lucky. As long as there is insight, it should be a behaviour that can be unlearned. Would probably sound too practical, but my idea is to work on healthy self esteem and grow self-acceptance. For the partner, constant reassurance would help greatly and again, good open communication and clarify on what the hell is it that each other want!
To those who think Indonesian women are most replaceable:
The moment you think Indonesian women are replaceable, will be when you yourself become as replaceable as a tampon. Same goes with with those thinking money can buy you Indonesian love; you can take your ego along with your liquid assets and stick them to where the sun doesnât shine.
While there is an element of truth that you can get as many women (Indonesians or Mongolians) as you like, why have a burnout before you start? It takes 2 to tango, please reflect about the whole situation including what YOU have done before blaming your missus. Don’t shy off from seeking professional help like counselling, you’re more of a man that way. How can sweeping your problems under the carpet help in the long run? Alas, if you’re addicted to sex and short term thrills you might miss out on a lasting relationship with a lovely naturally intelligent Indonesian woman. Or worse, you might end up as pretentious individuals who are really numb and lonely inside. So far, only Pirates of the Caribbeanâs Jack Sparrow seem to manage that– and he’s fictional. All the best and stay open-minded, mate;)
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BLOODY HELLLLLL!!!!!!!!
NOW you lot will think we Indonesian women also NAG!
Patung please delete some of the repetition. Good man!
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@Lairedion
@uwie
Youâre so right. Most bules hunting for Indo women are sore losers in their own countries.
So much for your voice of reason persona that you try and project on this site, NOT! Before chastising others for making generalizations be sure that you are not the kettle calling the pot black. đ
So what are the Indonesian men called that visit their karaoke mistresses once or twice a week–winners? normal? Just curious.
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@Tony,
What’s your ancestry?
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uwie says:
@ Tony
I will be relax if you are making a joke with another bule’s kind. Like british maybe, but not French … Oh please …
Call me rasis … I don’t care!!! But I just simply hate them of what they do and behave in my country in front of me.
@Lunatic Tad Pole
Is it because we always generalize everything based on our experience? hehehe … its ok … I like it … so there is something to read after boring work in this place. Hehehe … really need a chaoz!!! The bigger the better!!! heheheh … just kidding
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@ Tony
I will be relax if you are making a joke with another bule’s kind. Like british maybe, but not French … Oh please …
Call me rasis … I don’t care!!! But I just simply hate them of what they do and behave in my country in front of me.
And about finding the right one? Is it really obvious that I am single? Yeah because it is really hard to not seeing someone not french and single in here, others already married or being like a French-kiss-ass-er
@Lunatic Tad Pole
Is it because we always generalize everything based on our experience? hehehe … Yeah you are right … We just need a fight – doesn’t matter it is just a writing fight … hehehe ..
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Yeah, well … Please delete the first one. I thought that one is not already sent. Thanks …
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@Uwie
You are not being racist, you are merely expressing your feelings about the behavior of men who happen to be French and stating your opinion–to this I say RIGHT ON. Unless you are in a position to systematically oppress another person based upon their race then you cannot be racist, most likely, it is called being prejudiced–every person on this site is prejudiced about something–so I say to you: Welcome to the human race. Finding jodoh is not so easy as there are more than just one person for us all.
And yes, I am joking–that is why I use đ
@Lairedion
Why is my ethnic background so important?? Do we not live in a world that is supposed to be colorblind?? I enjoy learning about other cultures myself but my ethnicity would bring nothing to this conversation. However, i don’t believe that most bules are losers in their own countries just as I don’t see any person who is willing to leave their surroundings for a new country.
In fact, most bules, especially the younger ones, take a great risk by coming to Indonesia. When they return to their home countries they often have trouble finding work because their time here is looked upon as “behind the times” rather than on the “cutting edge”. This is why many receive large salaries–at the end they may not have a job to go home to and then the money they made will be used to live off of. Only the oil, mining (and not all), financial services and consumer goods companies are good at repatriating employees the rest (take my word as I have been in this position) do not care.
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jen says:
It’s killing me when people think Indonesian girls date caucasian guys (or any foreigners) for their money. And it doesn’t make sense that all the expats are guys who come here only seek sex instead of looking for relationship. It’s like saying all Indonesian people are terrorists.
The funniest thing is, my American bf was offended because I didn’t want to receive his money and insisted to pay half of the expense of our household. And other funny things happened when we just lived together because of the ‘Indonesian women’ stereotypes that he had in mind.
But good thing is, when things don’t go as we expected, we talk like adults do, and with my limited English and his almost none Indonesian things work fine till now. None of us make it as an excuse to have an affair (at least not that I know of), and just laugh off about everything.
But now that he will be back to his country, he asked me to marry him. I have cold feet. I have stereotypes about American men in their own countries. Hehe. I have great life here. Apart from the fact that I love him, adjusting in a new country isn’t an easy thing to do is it? I mean, it’s different when he came here because of his job. Then he met me. But if I move there, I will leave my job, and become what? A housewife? Duh, with all do respect to all the housewives in the world, I don’t think I can do what they able to do. Stay home most of the days, no job desc, no salary… And if things don’t work out the way we expect, that will leave me… where? Stranded alone in a foreign country? Back to Indonesia… jobless? Do I have to think it that far or just go with the flow?
Any insight? -
Farah says:
Are you including the women who are FORCED to work as prostitutes, by their husbands because the husband does not want to work?? Yes they appear to have a lot of rights and say in their own lives. You must be speaking for the hundreds of thousands female sex workers that are forced by family or by tradition to work as prostitutes in Indo, right? Your example is the Padang people of west sumatra?? One âsukuâ out of how many, 300 or so?? Not very compelling.
well.. the padang people according to the government counting in year of 2005 ….. JUST 4,555,810
and thats not counted padang people that spread in the whole island of indonesia. You sound very under estimate a suku here (i am not originally from padang).And not mentioned girls or woman from a suku in my province, had the similiar rules. Own the land, the house, etc, and will included in every decision making.
I believe theres much other suku had the same rules in Indonesia. Padang only one of major suku that had the rules, thats why i take as SMALL example.and.. how many girls are FORCED to be a slut by their family ????? thousands ?? get real.
In my university, one of a girl from law faculty become an ayam kampus, call girl, not because her father or mother ask her to, but because she need new cellphones, and branded bags and outfit. Others prostitute that i met during my work at a woman law advocacy work as prostitute because of “economical” problem. None force them to be a prostitute. Lack of education, lack of chances what push them to do it. And some because they said “kepalang basah” because they loose their virginity and then think they worthless and then its easy money. Some of the woman even admit, they simply had bigger urge than other woman, and can not stick to just one man.
WHERE EXACTLY THE THOUSAND woman you said so ???? in which province ??? where ?
I might agree i would find some woman that forced to do prostitute by her own husband, but that not more than 1-5 people (i only meet one in my whole life). Maybe some in Pekan Baru, Riau where woman trafficking is happening due to the “gold triangle” between batam-singapore-malaysia. I know all of this. Most woman from java island were trafficked to this place, promised with good job with better money, and end up to be prostitute. But they’re not as much as HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS that FORCED TO WORK BY THEIR FAMILY or TRADITION as you said on your comment.Maybe at past time, 30-40 years ago you could push indonesian woman to do things they don’t want. But these days i think woman have more freedom to do things they want. Not all, but most of them.
And you know what ?? divorce rate is increase as woman now not so depend on man. In 2004 in Bandar Lampung its increase more than 10 percent. If woman not depend to a man economically, why she want to hang on to a lazy husband that beat her up ??
Maybe past 10-15 years divorce is a taboo things in the society. But these days ??? hahaha… very scary, and concerning actually.Most of divorced woman that came to the law advocacy due to domestic violence admit they hang on to their marriage due to they don’t have a job. But most of woman that does have job, like these days type of woman, had nothing to loose. Even if the husband don’t want to pay the child support. As long as they get away from the marriage hell. I also rarely find a husband that want to keep the children after divorce. They rather to re-married again and had NEW children. Sad ?? yeah thats the fact. But everyone is happy (except the children of course).
I don’t know where you’re come from, indonesia, australia, or anywhere, but what your comments are not 100 % rights.
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@ Lunatic
Thats why i keep saying “its people preference” honey…..
You like it that way.. then its your preference. -
@ to all
I like this website … we can fight and argue many thing for nothing result … hehehehe@jen
personally I don’t get the idea of living together. Sounds ridiculous to me. Call me “kampungan”, I don’t care. I can’t get the idea of you want to living together with him but don’t want to married with him. In my village, whenever we found that a couple is having sex without married, they will “arak” them over village and force to be married. Hehehehe … Funny though!!! I still remember that the couple not dressed completely that time. Hehehe …But, I just want to say that: If you can imagine living without your bf in your future than without your job, so choose your job. If you can imagine living without your job that without your bf, so choose your bf and married him. Just feel which one do you love the most. Your work and future and your everything or your boyfriend. I know it is sound that too simplify of you matter. But this kind of choose always work for me.
Why you can do it both? I am sure that you are can get any job in somewhere else. You must capable in something right.
@Laeridion and Tony
I know many bule that come to indonesia to get their better future which that they can not get it in their land. Its ok though. I will do it myself if I can see somewhere that I can live much more than these.Hehehehe …
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But now that he will be back to his country, he asked me to marry him. I have cold feet. I have stereotypes about American men in their own countries. Hehe. I have great life here. Apart from the fact that I love him, adjusting in a new country isnât an easy thing to do is it? I mean, itâs different when he came here because of his job. Then he met me. But if I move there, I will leave my job, and become what? A housewife? Duh, with all do respect to all the housewives in the world, I donât think I can do what they able to do. Stay home most of the days, no job desc, no salary⌠And if things donât work out the way we expect, that will leave me⌠where? Stranded alone in a foreign country? Back to Indonesia⌠jobless? Do I have to think it that far or just go with the flow?
..Good point..
Some people think things are easy if an indonesian girl have relationship with an expat. Its huge decision for some girls, to leave their country (with all of it good and bad), their family, their friends and especially work.well… i won’t say theres NO indonesian girls that after money from expats, these kind of girls who probably would do anything including move to other country, and be a house wife in their husband country, as long as the money flow and they got all they need… they don’t really care (or think about it…).
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at previous post please read “that” as “than” … for some sentences .. just mix and match… hehehehe … sorry bow!!!
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Siti says:
I agree with Farah…
For me, to be married with an expat and to move to his home country will be a very big decision to make. Especially when you still have your parents here in Indonesia. What if they are sick, and what if they pass away… It will take sometime for you to go back to your country…
Moreover, I love to live around my family and relatives here… The bond and the attention they give to me are most that I need. It will kill me to not speak in Indonesian language for one day. hahahaha…For me, I would choose to work my ass here in my own country rather then to being fed by my husband in his homeland…hehehehe… Eventhough I earn so little but still I am happy to have family around me….
To get a good job in US for example will be very difficult as we always been considered as second class people…Mmmm… I love this discussion…
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AmericanInLove says:
God this is a great site, glad i found it. I’ll have to comment later. Anyone know anything about Sun City Karaoke club? Just the Karaoke? Is it full of “ayam” or is it a clean respectable place? Thinking of taking some clients that wouldn’t be interested in going to the nakal type. Any comments?
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Tony said:
Do we not live in a world that is supposed to be colorblind?? I enjoy learning about other cultures
but he also said:
Passport, money, ticket out of a 2-class system that only recognizes the rich and or ticket out of a society that looks at women as menâs servants?
Without them who would pay for your bill at the club (Blok-M)? đ Cheers
Remember, in Indo there is ALWAYS another one around the corner. Once you are married there is no more fun and in many cases no more sexâat least with your wife
Your view on Indonesia is limited to Blok-M bars, North Jakarta brothels and apparently the amount of cases you had to deal with as a lawyer. In other threads you gave detailed descriptions of Jakartan, Javanese and Sundanese women and you try to force these views as valid to other bules experiencing relationships with Indonesian women. You revealed you are a half-brown Canadian womanizer but refused to go further while you had addressed the fact being grown up as a brown man in white-dominated Canada so I’m curious where does the brown part descend from because it seems to have some effect on your personality.
It’s ok to make generalizations on Indonesian women, Tony but don’t feel offended if Indo women like uwie make likewise generalizations on bule men.
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AmericanInLove,
Ask Tony. He’s an expert on brothels, whorehouses and Blok-M bars. And he’s better informed on Indo culture than us Indo’s.
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Just to clarify, not sure if Lairdion is sarcastic or not, I am looking for a Karaoke club that is NOT shady! Where the culture is fun and not sex orientated and the hostesses are there for conversation, not touching and flirting and sex! Just saw Sun City on-line and looks classy!
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kinch says:
@jen: If you’re any good at what you do, what’s to stop you getting a job in the USA? It’s the land of opportunity, after all. Who says you have to be a housewife? USA/Canada/Australia are countries where noone really gives much of a damn about where you come from or your family background – all that matters is how well you can work. USA in particular because nobody has even heard of Indonesia and couldn’t give a damn even if they did.
So if you have some ability and willingness to work, chances are you can do much better than in Indo. Of course if you got your job from KKN / family background, etc.. then maybe a true meritocracy might scare the living crap out of you.
I’m not saying this applies to you… but it often does happen that the most successful Asian immigrants to meritocratic countries are the ones who did *not* have all the KKN type advantages back home – put them in a new place where there is nothing holding them back and they will do very well.
As for how American men behave back home… don’t be a total ignoramus! Back in the West, men are absolutely and utterly cowed by women. After a few years you can divorce him and totally eviscerate him financially…. you could probably have him up on felony charges without the need to do anything so mundane as provide actual real proof… so the boot would be on your foot far more than it would be in Indonesia with an Indonesian husband.
Of course there are also issues of culture and whether or not you want to leave Indonesia. There’s no place like home, after all. But that’s another thing entirely.
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As for how American men behave back home⌠donât be a total ignoramus! Back in the West, men are absolutely and utterly cowed by women. After a few years you can divorce him and totally eviscerate him financiallyâŚ. you could probably have him up on felony charges without the need to do anything so mundane as provide actual real proof⌠so the boot would be on your foot far more than it would be in Indonesia with an Indonesian husband.
heheheh…. bingo !
@ uwie
.. you find your answer about why some bule look up for asian girls. And it comes from the “expat” him self. Thats how they treated back there by their wife or other woman.@ Kinch
i start to like you…but.. naaah…… you’re not my type… đI just watch CNN this noon, and said something about theres less vacancy there and its hard for american to look up for vacancy. The number of unemployed persons was essentially unchanged in June, at 8.5 million, and the unemployment rate held at 5.5 percent. A year earlier, the number of unemployed persons was 7.0 million, and the jobless rate was 4.6 percent. And the number of persons who worked part time for economic reasons, at 5.4 million in June, was about unchanged over the month, but was up by 1.1 million over the past 12 months. These individuals indicated that they were working part time because their hours had been cut back or they were unable to find full-time jobs.
And you ask us to go there ? just to proof something ? hehehe… you might say we’re chicken. But i don’t think these woman need to proof anything. Even american citizen can’t get job there.
Their english good, show they well educated, they sure had chance to had job with good salary here in indonesia. There in usa might have bigger numbers in the check, but also bigger tax and bigger daily expenses.
I think theres said says “hujan batu di negara sendiri lebih baik dari hujan emas di negri tetangga”. Live is hard here, but if you were happy with your family and with your job …what else matter ??
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Lavasgo says:
Hi all,
I stumble into this page while looking for knowledge of indonesian culture. It was a very interesting discussion all around.
After reading all 26 pages of comments, looks like the contents evolve between Indonesian ladies and Orang Bule.
Well as a expat in indonesia ( non orang bule ), I am sad to say that the mentality of the ladies in indonesia is very much like a frog in a well….( Orang Bule Bagus, Kunning tak bagus)
Asian mans are on the rise and even for me, as a asian , have plenty of Orang Bule reporting to me and my few asian expat colleagues and I are earning much more, treating our GF much better than them.
So maybe, Ladies from indonesia, open up your eyes and look around you. There are plenty of good asian men around.
Cheers, Pls treat the above as my personal 2 cents opinion.
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@Farah: There are many Indonesian women who became prostitutes because they don’t have a choice. You might have never met them because you come from a totally different background from these women thus both your worlds never collide. I have worked with organizations that dealt with them, and also, once upon a time i was a journalist who had contact with these women. There are many in Jakarta, Bandung, Surabaya, Jogjakarta, Bali etc.
You said these days you think woman have more freedom to do things we want. Maybe those you interact with each day, those who are educated in some level. But there are many who are uneducated, in cities working as prostitutes because they have to feed their whole families in their kampungs, and I have met quite a number of prostitutes with husbands as pimps. Many of them are also forced by their drunk lazy husbands.
Although from your writing it clearly shows you are independent woman, but so many Indonesian women are not like that. I wish they were, but they aren’t.
As for your friend the ayam kampus, well, if they can afford to go to college, normally the reason behind them prostituting themselves is just for fun, to be able to afford luxury items etc. But then, there are also girls in college and universities who are from poor families and became ‘ayam’ kampus to put themselves through school. i know one from my uni.
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@Farah @Rima
Only met 1 ayam before, a room mate in Solo, she said she did it because her husband didn’t want to devorce her, which means she could not get married to another man. She had the urge and being ayam was the way…
Being ayam for economic reason….mmm… not in my circle of friends… All are good independent indonesian women who work in multi billion companies and earn at least 7 – 8.5 mio a month… So these women do not need financial support so much….
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@ tony
you kidding me!! They are really sucks. They behave that because they are french, they are knowing many things better, more smart, more cool and everything. And because we are indonesian, they think we are stupid, not capable and many things. Event they just an ordinary engineer. I know that it is not only expat from French that behave like this but they are the worst. And
Yes. So pathetic that our government sold many resources from Indonesia like Oil to foreign country. So, indonesian people must be a slave again for digging its indonesian oil. Man! ANd because of that we must see that many expat being paid really high just because they are bule and working in bule’s company even though they are stupid and idiot. And many indonesian can not afford to buy gasoline even though we are the one who one produce it. But I know somehow this situation must be changed. Indonesia must became master in this country again. I dont know how, because too many
corrupted in this country. Hehehe … a very serious conversation – and i know that somehow – you all will complaining about this one. Hehehehe … But it is a forum that everyone can say everything in honest thought, right???? – I dont like your thought about I have something flirty thing with that French … because it is really insult my intelligence.
Yes I know. that somehow, they give many good working attitude that we – as indonesian – must followed. But many of them – just a joke. and better if they are removed from indonesia.