Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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Tony…
I don’t know that “dregs” is the best word to describe the women at Blok M and I do not know that it is fair either. However, to each their own!
The ranting and railing against bules in this forum is par for the course. Anyone that did not know any better would think that we invented prostitution as a means of subverting the perfectly pious communities that existed in what is now the Republic of Indonesia.
If I am not mistaken there is plenty of demand from Indonesians for the services provided by professionals in this field. I would have to do some research but I am sure that I could find some empirical evidence that suggests Indonesian men have been known to frequent the odd kupu2 malam or two. Perhaps the research would also uncover a few fellas that are servicing the needs of neglected Indonesian women as male butterflies!
There are other threads on IM that debate the pros and cons of prostitution and the reasons for it in Indonesia. However, to say that women flock to certain places and venues because of the preponderance of bules is a stereotype that neglects all of the pubs, clubs, and venues that cater to a predominantly Indonesian crowd. I am not going to list them as I will plead the proverbial fifth amendment right from self-incrimination!
Tony, get out more if you want to but do not be too offended by the stereotypes and hate-filled rants that make their way onto IM, as it is this diversity (and some might say the occasional stupidity) of opinion that makes this site popular!
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Tony says:
@Rob
Your right dude, dregs is probably a bit harsh. I would also agree that the demand for “sex services” in Indon is driven by the locals, no doubt about it. The biggest draw for pros and semi-pros in Jakarta is NOT Blok-M, it is in fact the Chinese/Pribumi crowd in Kota-North of Wahid Hashim. So you have the right idea. I have been in Indo since I was 29 and have never seen the things that people here talk about and for about 8 years I was always out until 6:00 am entertaining my Indo clients–glad I got married because I sleep better.
Cheers!
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rocco says:
This is a suggestion to all you bule….
If you want to meet a serious, potential life partner, an Indonesian woman with good character/personality, stop looking for them in the pubs!!!!!
Pls for your own sake, use your brain. You keep on finding the wrong women because you look for them in all the wrong places!
Where is the right place then? I don’t have to tell you, just be the right kind of men (not the ones who look for one night stands), you’ll know where the right places are.
Good luck! -
Ahhhh shucks Rocco, really the wrong places?
You know where the “right” places are but you won’t tell my poor old bule brothers where they must go to find the Indonesian woman of their dreams…
Not very brotherly and not very informative now are we?
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Chris says:
Hi there everyone.
I dont know what the fuss is all about…
Indo girls are just like any other girl in the world just with their own Indonesian culture behind it and we need to respect that.
I personally think its not the Indo girls parading and showing off if they have a bule friend, but we ourselves ( bule blokes ), think we are the best and we can get every girl while we’re in Indonesia.
I met the most amazing girl ever while I was in Bandung and with her my respect for that country has also increased. All we need to do is try and overcome the cultural differences and show some mutual respect, after all were not that different…Chris
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Frank says:
Yes Chris, that is true, basically we are all the same all over the world, and like I told my indo sister in law recently, there are no bad indo girls and if there are it is because we bule men make them bad. Me myself I happen to have met and married the most wonderfull of them all, the most perfect indonesian girl you can imagine and she is just gorgeous and beautiful. And I did meet her in a discotheque where she worked as a sales promo girl, and of course this made me feel very reluctant at first but then I found out about her and that she really is a good girl and working there was just her job and a way to pay the rent and food and so it is OK. And now we are happily married and I feel her endless love every day even though we can not live together.
So to all men who meet a indonesian girl, not all of them are kupa-kupa malam or ayam, even though from first encounters you might think so, my own girl kept me coming back for her for almost a year before she let me into her heart and her bed, because her religion and self-protection mode kept her from sleeping with just every man. So they really do exist, these “good” girls who look sexy and like ayam, but for whom this is simply a disguise and a way to make a living, but if you get to know them they are the most honest and sweet girl in the world. And you might encounter them everywhere as long as your attitude towards them is one of respect and honesty.
Cheers and be nice to them,
Frank -
uwie says:
hehehe … it is a very funny forum and very funny conversation …
I found that I am laughing in reading this blog.
Anyway … I am girl and a bule approaching me lately. The truth, I like him too … but the bad image of Bule always makes me to avoiding him.
After reading all of your opinion, I think I will give him a try. hehehehe … We are all human after all.
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dewaratugedeanom says:
Rainclouds said
finally just letting you know, I am one of those very few lucky person … who finally been able to take it to marriage. I am … one of those very few lucky person who is being constantly been spoiled by her true love… every moment. She is… smart… beautiful… sexy … loving .. caring… … she is … my everything. .. everything.
I bet she was looking over your shoulder while you were typing this. 😉
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@Uwle
You don’t need to pretend here, we know you met him at Blok-M 🙂
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Farah says:
@ Chris & Frank
Thank you, really… yes not all of us are easy.
Its not only that, even walking with you guys… as friend, some Indonesian already think that we are slut (by saying it directly or the way they see us, the looks on their face).
Its actually not that easy to have relation with an expat. Some of the conventional family even ask about your self if you declare you had a bule boyfriend. -
@ tony
nice try … but it wont make me angry anyway … hehehehe …
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Anon Expat says:
I am a US expat living in Asia and have fallen for an Indonesian girl. I found this page finding info on Indonesia girls. She wants to get serious, but all her friends are “working girls” and makes me very suspicious.
I was also surprised to see the post that expats overseas “can’t compete” in their own countries. I work for a well known company and we all consider it an honor to be working with that company overseas. It’s an excellent job with excellent pay even by US standards.
She says I am her 2nd boyfriend and I asked her if she thought I was stupid. She’s not crying or making a scene, but I can tell she’s very upset. Which is why I found this page.
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Muthi says:
Hi,i’m indonesian girl..
I’m interested in bule coz many indo guys i’ve met are not gentle and it sucks..
But,the fact that bules only want sex is scarying me..
Btw,it’s hard to find single bules in Bandung..whr r them? -
Siti says:
Hi, my name is Siti. I find it is interesting topic because at the moment I am dating an aussie man. I am still a bit insecure dating him because at first he said they will be saparated.
I found out recently that my man is still in contact with his wife (or ex-wife as he said). but I have already been deep in love with him, I don’t know whether just to go on or leave him. He is so romantic and full of attention. I hardly could find a man like him… Whoaaa… I wanna cry….I have 2 girl-friends that also dated aussie men. One was left pregnant in Bali, and the other on is just abondent after long relationship…
I really, really feel confused now… should I leave or should I stay…. -
@ Anon Expat
Some of us are really nice and sincere lady.. but like other girls in these world.. some of us as bad as she evil. Trust your heart.@ Muthi
Wow.. theres more single bule in bandung than in sumatra, you will find them.. find the nice and good one.. hehe cause it would last longer.. i mean the relationship.@ Siti
Its a risky business.. you had to believe with your instinct as woman, but yeah history said, we like to be fooled with sweet words and promises.
Dealing with a married guy is never been a good story.
I had one relationship with an ozzie guy and he had ex-wife. He kept comparing me, even when i said not to do that anymore. He had two sons. I leave him.
It seemed he still have some un-finish business with his ex.. thats why he kept talking about her constantly.. and its annoying. For me its better and safe to leave them while we were still not have marriage to bound. Rather then, when we already have a son, and filling divorce papers… i heard it was completely hell… especially if we can not keep the son because he had his father nationality… bad..bad.. bad..
There’s plenty good man out there.. wether they were ozzie, canadian, usa, europe.. just choose carefully… well.. even when you can’t control your heart to choose to whom to falling in love with…. -
kinch says:
Don’t worry, Farah… I’m here waiting for you… when you have finished growing up I’ll be here 😀
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Don’t worry, Farah… I’m here waiting for you… when you have finished growing up I’ll be here 😀
Oh yes sugar daddy… sure you will… so you could measure which part of me that already grow, hahah !
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This could be the beginning of a beautiful new relationship. Start dosing up on the jamu!
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This could be the beginning of a beautiful new relationship. Start dosing up on the jamu!
hahaha.. not need for jamu or other remedy, i am perfectly okay.
maybe you need those jamu your self … try pasak bumi, or jamu sehat lelaki, i think you need that 😀 😀
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very encouraging to hear that everything is fine down in the dangly department. after a bit of attitude adjustment you’ll be perfect wife material – can send you out to earn money while i stay home and make witty forum posts.
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@ Kinch,
i don’t have any attitude problem… its just me.. perfect material wife or not, don’t think i want any adjustment.and if i got a hubby that ask me to go out to seek money for him… what a waste, i could marry one of hillbilly here, no need an expat hubby.
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well i’m the kind of hillbilly who doesn’t shrink my neighours’ heads in the kitchen sink. can’t even play the banjo now i come to think of it.
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hehehe…. none the hillbilly here did that.. YET. And we don’t know banjo.
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wait until kitchen sinks reach your neck of the woods.
you don’t know banjo out there in the big palm tree beyond? poor benighted souls!
does tvri still run ‘country road’? i just totally loved that show.
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@ Kinch
.. i am in jungle we only had satelite tv.. too bad no TVRI -
@Farah
Thank you for your advise…..“There’s plenty good man out there.. wether they were ozzie, canadian, usa, europe.. just choose carefully… well.. even when you can’t control your heart to choose to whom to falling in love with….”
I keep my finggers cross, Farah!!!
All the best for you and your jungle life….
Bet you will have crazy shopping everytime you have break to Jakarta…Take care……
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@ Siti
Thanks for your wish.
Could imagine only had chance shopping once for every month ? hehehe…. wear your sneakers and comfy shirt… lets join me shopping ! its hell of sport ! 😉 -
la vie says:
Well..I love expats than locals sometimes 😛 and I love being expat in other countries. 😀 hehhe…all expats and locals have same ways thinking about each other..but anyway….TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT !!!! Don’t put any feeling when someone sex you. 🙂 Sex is fun, sex isnt love.
Btw david..take me for 3 mio/nite..guess am much better than ayam u ever met. 😉
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la vie said
Btw david..take me for 3 mio/nite..
Pooh… I charge 5 mio/nite. Hair plaiting included. But I don’t do davids, thank you.
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Other than the dregs at Blok-M bars, where are there places where Bules are surrounded by women?? That is such complete bullsh*t. The kupu2 malam of Jaksel are some hardboiled broads who dont play games and travel in packs so I can see the surrounded quote–but in other parts of Jakarta, especially kota, this is NOT true. We should clarify the quality of the women that surround these men. I have lived in Indon a long time and have not seen this unless they are rent-a-girlfriends from the karaoke/hotel melawai/Jl. Felatehan.
I dont know, maybe I dont get out enough.