Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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Lairedion says:
@Jen,
Cool name but difficult to pronounce…
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Jen says:
@ Leiredion,
That’s the beauty of internet, no need to pronounce or remember the spelling, just copy and paste. Hehe.
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Indonesian women who date foreign men would be in a statistical minority. I wonder if there is research on this or are we just relying on anectdotal evidence of I have a friend who has a friend whose girlfriend dated a foreigner stuff? Or I was walking in the mall the other day and saw 4 or 5 couples where the boyfriend / husband was a foreigner?
The rules of dating are universal and rely on respect. This is particularly the case where the relationship is an inter-racial one. Respect in this sense does not pre-suppose you learn the language but it does rely on the fact that you will try and learn a little about what cultural and social expectations are, how inter-racial couples are treated, and perhaps some dating dos and dating don’ts. Ultimately, though it is a mutual learning experience.
Sometimes dating is all about trial and error, maybe dating is fun because you are not only learning about yourself but about your date as well! Isn’t this the point of dating anyway; to find out whehter you are compatible, whether you can fall in love, and whether you can sustain a monogamous commitment to each other over the long haul!
Thankfully and fortunately love does not comply with the limitations of national borders. What a sad world it would be if love did!
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@Rob
If only everyone thinks like you… but then it will be too boring. Hehehe Nobody will argue here anymore, it’s fun to read sometimes 😛
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Farah says:
hmmm… not all indonesian girls went out with bule for money, there’s love, and attraction.. its true.
Some of my friend dating with bule also work, and they do pay their own bills.. sometimes bule pay them.. well.. wether with bule or no bule you do that with your bf too.. i mean.. there’s pplenty local guys too that went oout dinner with hi gf and the girl pay for the dinner.. -
Jay says:
MELLY MELLY. Well, a lot of what melly says was wrong, I did, and was honest with her. If there was one thing I can say, I was for sure in love with her, and probably still are. The bad part was, I was unable to commit, in a time frame she wanted.
Melly since you have the nerve to talk about our relationship here, you should be able to email and really discuss it, truthfully, not one sided, and just because you have had your heart broke you told me, because of me, well, life is tuff, but I was still there, when you decided to leave it.
So don’t put it all on me. You for sure know how to reach me if you wanted to.
HELLO this happens after the phone rings.
j
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Atul says:
Hi
I am coming to indonesia this month, I need a girl friend to roam with, anyone can suggest me what shall I do, please mail me, I need to date an indonesian girl.
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Paramitha says:
Hi.
i am an Indonesian. i found this website from google.
i just want to let foreign guys know that not all indonesian woman can be used just for have fun. Indonesia is a country with culture and manners, and as an Indonesian women im telling you guys, we’re not that easy to get!! -
Tony says:
@Atul
Relax my friend. When you arrive in jakarta check out the following places (each will vary depending upon your taste in women):
You have two choices:
North Jakarta: This is the REAL asia and the real Indonesia. They have clubs that DO NOT exist in the west. There is a club called K7 with many friendly women who like to party, the next best destination would be Golden Crown Disco, this is a techno disco but they have a lounge that is quiet, so if you meet a girl in the disco you can invite her to the lounge for drink and conversation. If you are looking to rent a girlfriend then you may want to try Hotel Travel, Sparks Hotel, 1001 Disco or Sands Disco/Karaoke.
South Jakarta: This part of jakarta is a weak imitation of clubs that you would find in any North American city of any size (NYC, LA, CHI, TOR, etc), however, many of the women you will meet in the clubs in South Jakarta are specifically looking for a foreigner or at least very open to the opportunity to date a foreigner. Many have already dated several foreigners already. The places to go are the lounges at Hotel Grand Kemang, Aphrodites in Club Rasuna, Centro Disco, Embassy Disco, Retro Disco in the Crowne Plaza or Drangonfly. Again, if you are looking to rent a girlfriend then try the famous Blok-M (Jl. Pelatehan), CJs Disco in Mulia Hotel or BATS in the Shangri-La Hotel.
I would recommend North Jakarta first as the women tend to be prettier and they are not Bule Hunters but if the opportunity presents itself they are very friendly and have not been used/abused on the South Jakarta Bule Hunter Circuit. Bule is a word for foreigners in Indonesia.
If you are looking to date, or at least have the illusion of dating then try South Jakarta but beware any women you meet in South Jakarta or anywhere else in the world for that matter that wants to be your girlfriend after the first Hello.
@ Paramitha
You have posted on this site before–why are you saying you just found it on google? Too many beers/shots at BATS eh?
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I need to date an indonesian girl.
wow… need ?? hehehe sounds bit funny..
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@Tony: *cough. Nobody says ‘disco’ nowadays… 🙂
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Atul,
Better skip sh*thole Jakarta and its “disco’s” and move on to Bandung, a far better place to visit. Even Jakartans spend their weekends en masse here for the food variety, cheap outlet stores, cooler climate and friendliness of local Sundanese.
Do your research on the web before coming down and find out Jakarta is not Indonesia.
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Hmmm… I dont care with all d people say.. I just need love n affection now… So 4 all d expats in jakarta, if u want 2 make a real,honest,loyal,serious relationship with me.. Find me here http://www.friendster.com/nitaandrea
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@ Finally Awoken
What is the word for “disco” now? You will have to forgive me I don’t get out much anymore but my staff tells me about all of the places to go. I have been to K7 and it seems okay but that was in 2005.
@Lairedion
Have you been to Bandung lately?? I lived there for about three years when there was still an economy there and now it is full of trash, in fact it has mountains of it. As far as the Sundanese being friendly, that is true, they are friendly. You may want to look at the waste problem there first.
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@Tony
I visit Bandung almost every two years. The last time I was there was in 2007. My Sundanese wife is from there, my father lived there before he moved to Holland in the 60s and many of his relatives still live there and I myself have lived there for three years in the 90’s. From 4 till 11 years old I lived in Yogya and Solo so I cannot remember everything. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I never lived in Jakarta and I have a stronger connection with Bandung, Yogya and Solo.
You’re right about the trash, it’s shameful. Apart from that I still reckon Bandung is better than Jakarta. The city has always been more known for its creativity and uni’s than its economy. but again, you’re right about the trash and perhaps my view is somewhat colored. From Cengkareng it’s always straight to Bogor or Bandung and I visit South Jakarta in between to meet some of my other family.
For these reasons Jakarta never appealed to me and I’m afraid never will. Probably also has something to do with the global feeling of antipathy against the capital and government.
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@Lairedion
I hear you. When I lived ini Bandung there was a great party scene and I was spoiled by the Sundanese women, not just from Bandung, but the entire region. As far as a creative/arts crowd–Bandung is definitely better than Jakarta in that regard.
If it wasn’t for the trash and if I could make a living in Bandung, I wouldn’t mind being there again, but my wife wont live there–she is a jakarta girl through and through.
As this post applies to dating I will state that I found less materialism and more romance amongst the women of Bandung/Sukabumi/Jawa Barat than Jakarta. In Jakarta I was always asked about my career and prospects. Although, the more educated and wealthy a woman was in Jakarta (Pribumi mostly but some Chinese) the less she cared about my own wealth (or lack thereof :)) and the more she cared about compatibility.
Just a thought.
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Tony,
Thanks for your comment, you’re right about the Sundanese. I never dated girls from Jakarta so I have no experience with them. As far as dating Indonesian girls in relation to Westerners I’m not a good reference. I’m half Indonesian (Dutch-Javanese-Manadonese), brought up in two cultures with two languages and spent a great part of my childhood there.
When I met my wife I was working as a tour leader and was based in Bandung. I earned a local salary so compared to Western standards I was poor :-). I lived indekos with my family and wasn’t charged for that. I really didn’t have anything to offer but love but I guess that was enough for my wife. In mid-1997 she finished uni and we decided to move to Holland in May 1998. Well, we couldn’t pick a better (or worse) time to leave.
Right now I’ve no complaints whatsoever. We’re all healthy, I’m relatively wealthy, even compared to Western standards. Since 2 years I’ve got my own IT business running and I’m doing well. But my wife have been very supportive all those years, she’s working in my business and takes care of all the paperwork. This is not a daily job so there’s plenty of time to dedicate to our kids. Her current activities don’t use her potential to the full but hey, I never studied for IT either. It’s our own little business we’re running. It’s just the way it went and looking at all our poor compatriots we consider ourselves lucky despite all the hard work we put into our daily lives.
This is my story, not your classical East meets West romance.
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Lairedion…
Seems like life is good…So, we should not expected any bitter and twisted comments from you in the future should we? 🙂
There are good and bad elements to wherever we go and also to the people we meet! This is what makes the world such a special place! It also reminds me of a line from Forrest Gump (which goes something like this)…
Life is like a box of chocolates, you’re never quite sure what you’re gonna get!
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Rob,
How could I forget? Since I’ve no complaints about my personal life I should shut up and refrain from negative comments.
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Lairedion…
There appears to be a “gap” in the communication here as the interpretation or spin that you have put on the comment is not reflective of my intent. That intent was part tongue in cheek but nonetheless the “bitter and twisted” part refers to comments about you and your life. Simply, if life is good then there is nothing to be bitter and twisted about…but take it as you will and interpret as you wish. Thus, this is the beauty of a free democratic world.
In fact, the rest is quite to the contrary. I am not for one minute suggesting you should hold your tongue and nor am I suggesting that you should not comment on other people’s negativity. Although, I, in that case would also hold the right to comment on any negativity that might arise from or within your comments, right?
To each their own!
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Rob,
You’re absolutely right.
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dewaratugedeanom says:
Lairedion,
Since I’ve no complaints about my personal life I should shut up and refrain from negative comments.
I think so too. No more nasty comments about PCB’s (politically correct bules), please!
Lairedion… grapje 😉
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Bli dewa,
Het spijt me… 🙁
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Peter says:
How about making friends? Gonna travel 8 weeks on Java, starting end of September.
Planning to go the easy way, not organised. Just see what comes and go !
Think it would be great to meet some new friends !
Greetzzz Peter -
Bast says:
Yes, I agree that most of Indonesian women are beautiful.. alongside with Latino girls, arabic girls, and some philipino girls. But, not all of them.. most beautiful women are in jakarta and around (bekasi, bandung, depok), because for me I do like sweet women but I also prefer them with intelligence, style and attitude…those who are really taking care of themselves with spa and all(with their own money :p)..
These ladies I only find in big city like Jakarta. For the rest of the islands like Kalimantan(borneo), Sumatera, etc the girls are too plain and modest.Helluva Sweet Smiles!!! —> What I love THE MOST from Indonesian women!!! And yeah they often smiles, even to strangers.. I love it even if that smile is only for being nice and polite.
There’re always beautiful ladies hanging out at big malls in Jakarta (Plaza senayan, plaza indonesia, X, senayan city, and Pacific Place)…. I remember me and my friends always went to lunch for HOURS at plaza indonesia & x only for their killer smiles *grin*
To Lairedion : I’ve been in Bandung couple months ago… I don’t the fact there that it’s easy to find “ayam” in bandung because mostly they are. For a “bule gatal” like my co-worker Bandung is paradise, but for me I still love Jakarta girls. I’m not saying there’s no ayam in Jak, but it’s easier to find nice girls in Jakarta rather than in Bandung. After all Bandung is known as Kota Kembang (city of sluts).
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To Lairedion : I’ve been in Bandung couple months ago… I don’t the fact there that it’s easy to find “ayam” in bandung because mostly they are. For a “bule gatal” like my co-worker Bandung is paradise, but for me I still love Jakarta girls. I’m not saying there’s no ayam in Jak, but it’s easier to find nice girls in Jakarta rather than in Bandung. After all Bandung is known as Kota Kembang (city of sluts).
Great analysis, Bast. You’ve been in Bandung a couple of months ago and you’ve concluded it’s the city of sluts. Basically you’re saying my wife is a slut? After all she’s from Bandung.
Where did you gain such extensive and deep knowledge?
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This is the reason I keep coming back to IM…I learn something everyday!
Like Kota Kembang translates to “City of Sluts”…I must have missed my Indonesian class where we looked at translating the word kembang because even in a colloquial sense I have not heard kembang meaning slut(s)…
I gotta say Bast I think you might have only been offered a selective glimpse of Bandung as there is so much more there than entertainment for “Bule Gatal”! I am wondering though if “bule gatal” translates to “white bloke that f*cks anything that moves and when he is really ‘gatal’ anything that does not move as well”?
So, you and your buddies that go to lunch to “cuci mata” (your eyes would be cleaner if you used Rinso) do you also whistle and make ckkk, ckkkk, ckkk noises as the woman go past? You sound like a really cool fella, you and your mates!
If Bandung got the moniker city of sluts from the Indonesian Kota Kembang, then the mind boggles at the translation for Jakarta and the moniker of “the Big Durian”…
have a nice day!
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@Bast
After having lived in Bandung and Jakarta for sometime as a single man I can tell you that most likely the girls smiling at you in jakarta were not professional ayam but perhaps a mix and the women in bandung were most likely students/workers out to have a good time. It’s easy to find nice girls anywhere if you are a nice guy–but it sounds like you are a whore-monger and that is what you attract. Nothing wrong with that but you may want to cool your tone and not sound like such a self-righteous PRICK. Entiendes Mendez?
Remember, it may be a more interesting to celebrate the women of Indon rather than debase them here on this site. If you would like to debase western women, by all means, please do.
The name Bast comes from the Egyptian Goddess Bast–she is the protector of women, children and cats. This name doesn’t seem to fit with your comments. Are you a man, woman or transgendered??
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RainClouds says:
Interesting topic! .. to all the men .. and women here debating and blaming each other (to some extent) .. i would like to say:
Ask your soul? who you are… ? what you want? do you want a girl to have fun for short time? or you are looking for soul mate? Seek..and you shall find.
Every human being.. regardless of their origin, physical state, age, cultural background has their own values and desires about their potential life partners. Concsciously or unconsciously we evaluate every potential partner on that invisible table and we go for the best match!
But..personally I dont think.. indo girls are any harder / easier to get than any other in anywhere else. But definitely, cultural values (my observation) comes into play.
Westerners, may find them surrounded by indo girls…. but.. hey .. ask yourself? .. who you are surrounded with? and.. why they are surrounding you?.. and.. last but not the least… why you are allowing them .. to surround you? i think.. you will get all your answers.
Any decent girl usually doesn’t need to go for westerners or expats. As, they are already decent … they are already chased / taken by someone decent, may be from their friends.. / class mates / or family friends.
So.. to reach them, you have to access one of those access points. Decent girls in any muslim country are never found in bars or clubs. However, you may say… who said? there are lots of girls here and there. I would ask you to ask yourself.. once again.. .”who.. they really are?” 😀
finally just letting you know, I am one of those very few lucky person … who finally been able to take it to marriage. I am … one of those very few lucky person who is being constantly been spoiled by her true love… every moment. She is… smart… beautiful… sexy … loving .. caring… … she is … my everything. .. everything.
Well… if u ask me.. how i am so lucky..? I didnt know untill SHE answered that for me oneday… “she cant help loving me so much.. cuz.. i love her so much”
hmmmm it made me remember one of my favorite quotes
“life is a mirror.. if you smile to it … it will smile you back” — A Howlader
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It’s Nienna Linwëlin. Hahahaha. It’s cute isn’t it?