Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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ET says:
deta
Because a hand phone is much easier to handle. When not in use, we can keep it silent, or inactive. We can even set a password to make sure that nobody else uses it.
This explains everything. Handphones are the perfect companions, loyalty is at your fingertips, it can be made to shut up, you always have the last word, it is politically more correct than a common vibrator and it doesn’t come with the ballast of some 80 kilos of flesh and bones attached. The perfect ersatz for a male and a girl’s refuge whenever she calls for comfort. Some models even allow you to change its skin.
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timdog
as a wild asside, anyone ever heard of the Serat Darmogandul? It’s a howlingly outrageous (and very funny) piece of 19th Century Javanese allusive satire, which is, basically, an unprecedentedly scandolous attack on conservative Islam, by way of very rude metaphors.
Mmm, sounds interesting. How did it survive latter days islamist revival? I wonder if it is available in standard bahasa. Gandul means something like hang down, suspend, or is it my imagination…
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Speaking of Dating Indonesian Girls, did we see that our intrepid, brave and honorable Police Force in-between arresting children for stealing sandals and bannanas found time to charge a 16 year old boy with violating the child protection law..the kids horrendous crime…He was filmed kissing his 16 year old girlfriend.
Tangerine Detective Shinto Silitonga we salute you for the fine piece of humanity you are and your efforts to ensure the reputation of the Indonesian Police remains unchanged in our minds.
Special mention must go to Tangerang City Education Agency Head Bambang Mardi who has urged raids and the checking of all students cell phones and the expelling of any student who may have kissed a girl/boy. We salute you Bambang for not letting the disgusting standards of some of your schools and the shocking standards of education prevent you from focusing on what is important. Of course, I would pay no attention to the talk that one father said, if any filthy copper or grubby little agency worm touch his child under any pretext, he would horse whip him from one side of jakarta to the other. Be brave Bambang after all they are only children and that’s where we can be really heroic.
On the other hand, if it was a dirty old cleric and he wanted to marry a 12 year old..I assume that is ok down Tangerang way…
Ah Indonesia …you romantic dreamers 🙂
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Ah Indonesia …you romantic dreamers 🙂
Yes (sigh), then you wake up and find the thrill is gone. 🙂
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deta says:
Franki, Bonni, thanks for sharing with us. ET, now you also know why we hate to buy a second hand gadget. As for the gandul…. mwahaha!
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imperata says:
halo semua,
I’m new here in this discussion. Found this forum tanpa sengaja, read many comments and pada awalnya, some comments made me very upset because, oh-my-God! How dare those people insulting Indonesia like this. But then I admitted there are many elements of tthe ruth here (tentang Indonesia/Jakarta e.g. crowded, kotor, koruptor, retarded, poor, and soon; tentang Indonesian girls/women: matre, ingin menikah dengan bule and soon and soon; dan seterusnya), meskipun of course not all are correct, some are more like bitterness to me, that made me feel like Ms. Bennet begging to his father to stop her sisters acting like idiot and the world will respect them, only that I couldn’t ask my father to do so because I have no father anymore and this lovely but silly nation is more stubborn than Ms. Bennet’s sister. But like those Westerners who so proud of their invention namely freedom, well, it’s all free for everyone here to express all their feeling towards Indonesia or especially about dating Indonesian girls. And my intention to finally ikut-ikutan bicara here adalah I just read news about Mr. Stephen Hawking said to media that to him, women is the biggest mystery in the universe.
http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/01/05/us-stephenhawking-women-idUSTRE8040YL20120105
Unfortunately, no more explanation about why he said so. So I thought, well, how about you guys who seems know well about women kindly explain the mystery to Mr. SH, or if you think you are in the same situation with him, just join his club (if any).
Anyway, obviously I can’t speak nor write in English very well like any others here, but after knowing and reading comments in this forum, I want to create a blog with the title “truths are hurts” and will point out beberapa hal tentang Indonesia yang layak untuk dihina, tapi Indonesian people so full heartily defending it just because they love the country so much. And thanks also, I learned banyak new kosa kata bahasa Inggris here.
cheers everyone.
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Timdog, don’t go all Indonesia Tinggi on us. You prodded the masses and therefore reap the harvest :-).
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To elaborate further on this compelling phenomenon of Indonesian girls and their handphones. Is there a correlation between its brand, color, shape and most importantly its price tag and what some here have called the F*Factor?
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franky says:
soo curious to Stevo’s love story.
Was looking forward to it to start the weekend with some intelectual romantic stimulus
But he is soo quiet…….:(No second thoughts I hope Stevo?
Or are you waiting for your mother to leave the house? -
bonni says:
Oigal,
Speaking of Dating Indonesian Girls, did we see that our intrepid, brave and honorable Police Force in-between arresting children for stealing sandals and bannanas found time to charge a 16 year old boy with violating the child protection law..the kids horrendous crime…He was filmed kissing his 16 year old girlfriend.
Yes, this is like the latest issue. – An unnecessary – criminalisation of children. It’s such a shame to this country and its legal system.
Stevo,
Franky is waiting for your story, darling… Come out, come out, wherever you are… 😉
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Thanx Bonni, and admit you are a bit curious too……
It would be nice to have this weekend stimulus, dont you think?And abt Police in Indonesia. i am amazed how invissible they are.
Only some trafic poice and thats it.
But now I understand they are bussy in schools……
And may I ask what do they check in mobile phones? -
Bonni, yr follow up on Metaphor of Deta is funny, nice and logical.
Would like to know more on your experience towards dating Bule from your point of view as Indonesian girl.
Same for Deta, although I expect her story to be less happy ending….
And Stevo….already remembered the story you wanted to tell?
Besides I read somewhere you dated German girl and you enjoyed it. Sorry that I offended you before by doubting your were German or not…. -
I think “story” is the operative word here, along with the very senior detective friends, the bevy of jilbab covered girl friends and the assorted other Walter Mitty characters 🙂
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Okay Franky, since you have asked for it twice, here you go. Unlike what you expected, I never dated ‘bule’ in Indonesia. I did experience some romantic encounter with white boy, but it happened when I was still a student living in foreign land. And the nature of our relationship back then was very different from the stories commonly told on this thread. We started as friends. No credit card involved, no ATM harmed. He was curious about Indo and I needed his tutorial for my course projects. More like win-win solution 🙂 . So, yeah, I have not much to tell you about that kind of relationship. But like someone said here: dating someone from outside your culture is not for a faint hearted. And I am a faint hearted.
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agan says:
To elaborate further on this compelling phenomenon of Indonesian girls and their handphones. Is there a correlation between its brand, color, shape and most importantly its price tag and what some here have called the F*Factor?
Pour l’amour de Batara Gundal Gandul,
Pak ET buy the best phone you can afford and please get rid of that 2 cans and a string you call handphone or you’ll be kicking your own ass because most people do not regret the things that they have done but rather the things that they did not dare trying to do!
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imperata
And my intention to finally ikut-ikutan bicara here adalah I just read news about Mr. Stephen Hawking said to media that to him, women is the biggest mystery in the universe
He’s probably been too busy solving the mystery of ‘black holes’ and now he sees mysteries in every hole.
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Franky,
Firstly, thanks for making it clear that it wasn’t my metaphor.
My experience dating foreign guys… Well I dated both foreign guys (bule if you may) and a local guy. Maybe it’s unfair based on the quantity but I’d rather date foreign guys than locals. Some was nice, some was not very nice. I had some nice “cross culture” experiences. It’s almost like ‘consolidations’. So far I’m glad that I’m not only providing them with day to day conversations like “how are you?” or “how is your day?” or “do I look fat in this?” And the fact that I didn’t learn english – only – ‘in bed’. Just kidding 😛 Anyway… What would you like to know about it?
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Thanks Deta,
I see, and now I understand. Before I thought you got your experience leading to prefer phone over men, cozz of bad bule experience. Phewww, well good to hear that is not the case.Soo presumably you have this preference (phone over men) due to experience with local guy. Now, and that then leads to the question why hold on to cross cultural connection is not for faint hearted, such as yourself…hehehhe
You don’t know what you miss if you dont know what it is.Maybe I am jumping to conclusions and excuse me if I do so.
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Thanks Bonni for your openess.
And honoustly it was not my intention to teach you about metaphor from misplaced superiority…it was sincere remark about your answer on that topic. Funny logical and intelligent.If you want, tell more on your ‘English skills improving experiences’ such as how did it start and why did it end. Cozz if I understand you, it ended……
Also curious to your background and your education as I find this is important to place any experience.As stated before I can tell more on my experience with May. But that was not a real cross cultural experience as May was merely Dutch as she lived in Holland most of her life. That story has more significance if it comes to negative cross cultural experience with Germans. Sorry Stevo , no offence 🙂
Maybe better tell something about my experiences in Indonesia?
Like mentioned before when I first came to Indonesia for work I was amazed with the pleasant way girls act and look. I mostly stay in JKT and true that that will not be representative for Indonesia as a whole. But thats what I have….please dont be offended by generalisation and possible whatever…First serious girl encounter was in CJ’s. Actually CJ’s is packed with working girls. I was there with a colleague and in the beginning it’s nice cozz the girls look nice and are soo different from the girls in Holland.
Every smiling girl more beautyfull the the one before. Feeling like school kid in candystore. Realy I am not naive but positive attention is always nice. Only after a while it becomes boring if alll grils wanna know know your name, your hotel and what you do. So me and my colleague start making jokes about that.
Untill I came to speak with a girl that was different. She was talking normal and telling about her life and job for a travel agent and if I ever need a ticket to Bali or whatever she could arrange itt….we had e good time and danced a lott. Really enjoyed myself.
At the end of the night we had to go, and wanted to leave. After all it was late and we had to work next day. We had to go to our hotel and the girl and her girlfriend offered to bring me and my colleague to our hotel. Mhhhh I said to my colleague lets see what kind of car and if its cheap we take a taxi. Cozz started to doubt whether these girsl were regular….on the way to the car she grabbed my hand which was warm and pleasant and the car was a huge new BMW so these girls surely wouldnt be working girls. In the car we start kissing and you must know in Holland we like kissing a lott hehehehhe.
At the hotel we would have a drink in the room with the 4 of us but somehow we split up and I ended with the girl in my room. I was kind of nervous with this peculiar situation I brought myself into. Because first I had to seriously work next day and second the girl was a stranger to me and still we kiss like we know eachother for years……And Well I do have my fair share of experience but she was verry sweet.
Next day we had breakfast together and I went work while she went to her home.
And she did not ask for anything, no money nothing.
Sorry but this was actually relief to me.We exchanged phonenumbers and as I woudl fly out that night I proposed her that it would be nice to meet at the airport at night for a diner. We did have diner and after said goodbye and would meet again if I came back. In that Time I came every 3 months in JKT. And in the meantime we had contact be SMS and mail. She soon started to state to say she miss me too much and at a certain point expressed to be jeaulous. Then I thought mmmhhh, is that real? But also proud that such a sweet girl expressed interest.
For a year or two we met a few times but I felt it was like she was not telling me all. It’s a long story from here but is seemed she was working on me as longtime project….I think. I asked her but she was not clear on that too, so now we still have contact now and then but more as friends. I learned a lott from this. Most important is to know the background and education of the grirl. If there are unlogical points in there you know more of their intention.
Second serious encounter was in a night in Red Square. Yes I know another place typical……I was alone and enjoying the music. I got to talk with a sweet girl. Acually she was soo funny and quite, small too that I constantly needed to bow my head to hear what she said. She had university degree so that’s ok. She was there alone cozz her friend did not show up and as she already was in, she did not leave. We had fun and danced a lott. Funny thing is that when you dance with a girl that does not stop other girls to flirt. On the dancefloor we danced very intimate and at a certain point I kissed her. She kissed back but I feel that she holds back a bit. So we talk about that and I learned that in Indonesia it is not so appreciate if you kiss in public. Another learning point. Anyway we end up in my hotel and had fun. Next day went to beach in Ancol together. She turned out to be a good friend and after that we met many times. For diner, karaoke, she could sing soo good…..
I really liked her and for sure could fall in love with her deeply if she was not soo obsessed with marriage.
tbc
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Franky,
I think this kind of information you are asking is getting a little bit personal. Is it possible if you send me mail to my private email address? Is it possible, david?
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Oooops sorry Bonni…
Do you think so? Its not my intention to emberrase you.
I guesss you are right and now reading what I posted myself….
Indeed personal………..heehehe
The thing is that I am quite open and being Dutch somewhat direct as well.
Thanks for your honoust feedback and yes, if possible we can continue by regular mail.Is that possible David?
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George E says:
DATING INDONESIAN GIRLS,,,HI I LIVE IN CALIFORNIA,,HOLLYWOOD TO BE EXACT,AND I KNOW TOO MANY INDONESIAN PEOPLE HERE IN LOS ANGELES,MOST OF THE INDONESIAN WOMAN THAT I KNOW ARE VERY RESPECTFUL,HONEST,SINCERE,AND GOOD HART PEOPLE,VERY FAITHFUL,REGARDING GOOD VALUES,LIKE FAMILY AND MARRIAGE,ALSO RELIGION AS WELL,,IS TAKEN IN A VERY CLEAN AND SERIOUS WAY,,VERY HARD WORKING ,AND VERY FRIENDLY,,I CAN EXPEND HOURS HERE TAKING ABOUT TOO MANY GOOD THINGS THAT DESCRIBES AN INDONESIAN WOMAN,,BUT I PREFFER JUST TO KEEP IT THIS WAY,,PLEASE REMEMBER,,GOOD AND BAD PEOPLE EXIST ALL OVER THE WORLD,,I, FORGET TO MENTION THAT I,M NOT INDONESIAN ,,I,M MEXICAN AND AMERICAN AS WELL,,CIAO TO EVERYONE,,KEEP THIS WORLD SAFE AND GOOD FOR EVERYONE,,ALHAMDULILLAH,,.
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stevo says:
Franky, I would love to share the story with you, but there is too much chance that the guy might be an IM reader. No need to add to his sorrow and it is not a laughing matter the way he was betrayed. Actually she also betrayed me and a close Indonesian friend of mine who accepted her into her home, but its nothing compared to what she did to her own family.
She was the most flawed human being I have ever met. It is also true that one of the most wonderful women I have ever met was also Indonesian. It will amuse you to learn I ended it to go back to my GERMAN girlfriend. One of a number of bad decisions I made during a difficult patch a few years ago. She was Chinese Indonesian. I find the Chinese Indonesian girls are often more to my taste, though that is not to say anything against all the others.
I wonder if other readers also find any difference between dating Chinese Indonesian girls and Indonesian girls in general ?
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Before I thought you got your experience leading to prefer phone over men, cozz of bad bule experience. Phewww, well good to hear that is not the case.
Soo presumably you have this preference (phone over men) due to experience with local guy.
Just to make it clear, Franky, I have no negative feeling toward men from any particular race and nationality. Bad, good, what is experience anyway but lesson for us to be wiser. My phone-men metaphor was nothing but a regular tongue-in-cheek exchange with ET. Speaking of which, he was getting even with that black holes metaphor 😀
Stay frank and good luck.
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First serious girl encounter was in CJ’s.
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Second serious encounter was in a night in Red Square.
Your clearly a real ladies man Franky, so I am interested in your experiences with the Dutch and German girls and how they are different to those “serious” Jakarta girls you met.
I am wondering if the Teutonic German girls were not “serious” enough for your tastes ?
Do you consider German & Dutch girls too fun loving and frivolous? Please share……
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First serious girl encounter was in CJ’s.
But wait there is more………
Second serious encounter was in a night in Red Square
Franky, clearly you are something of a ladies man and know what women want. I wish to draw upon your experience and ask; did you find the German & Dutch girls not “serious” enough for your tastes? (as opposed to those “serious” ladies in the clubs)
Ahhhhhhhh those fun loving frivolous Teutonic Germans, always good for a light hearted laugh, but hopeless if your “serious” …. like Franky. 🙂
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timdog says:
Gandul means something like hang down, suspend, or is it my imagination
Yup… so it’s “The Dangling One”, and his buddy Gatoloco, “The Polished Ploughshare” (who, incidentally, is an odd fellow: he has no arms or legs, no eyes or nose, only a mouth, and he sleeps all day and only gets up at night), The come as a team, so to speak, and travel around taking the piss, more or less literally at one point, out of various Walis and suchlike…
Mmm, sounds interesting. How did it survive latter days islamist revival? I wonder if it is available in standard bahasa.
I’m pretty sure there must be an Indonesian version somewhere; I’ve only read the English synopsis, but that alone was enough to give me a fit of the giggles (always nice when facing an accademic text!).
It was wildly controversial even when it first emerged, and the identity of the author is a mystery – it has been suggested that it might have been a Javanese Christian (the first of who were emerging at the time, in part, according to MC Rickleffs, as a Javanist reaction to the increasing emergence of “Santriism”in the mid-19th Century).
Actually Rickleffs makes this really interesting argument that the much discussed “Santri-Abangan” divide only emerged in the mid-19th Century, lasted for about 100 years, and has now largely melted away again.
I’m not sure I agree entirely, given that the term “Santri”, as we know it, was definitely in use in the late 18th Century, but I think he’s right that Javanese people who actively rejected Islamic orthodoxy, and perhaps self-labelled as something counter-Islamic (Abangan/Kejawen etc), only emerged mid-19th Century as a reaction to the orthodoxy that came along with more frequent Haj pilgrimages etc. He also probably right about the distinctions fading away more recently too, and I don’t mean that in a “help us the Taliban are coming” way; I mean that from my own observations alone it seems that people who are actively engaged in some – for the want of a better term – “Kejawen” practices, are these days likely to be also doing some “Santri” stuff (orthodox prayers, fasting etc), which is possibly how things were pre-19th Century…Good grief! Oigal, I apologise profusely! What the hell am I doing? Let me prod the Buffalo instead of talking in such fashion!
How come the Indonesian-bule relationship world is so massively dominated by Bule men-Indonesian women? How come there are comparatively so very few bule women-Indonesian me pairings?
I’m sure stevo has some thoughts on that…. -
@Stevo
Sorry to hear that you have second thoughts about sharing in the spirit of this thread.
But I understand your motivation…..And yes, me too should have been more thoughtfull before I start sharing my experiences.Not sure yet if and how I can continue to give the full picture….
Anyway, yups it were serious encounters from the start Stevo….:)
You know this was in the beginning when I first came here, right? I ask this just to make sure that you understand the timeline here. It could well be that you missed a post here and there.
And from these initial clubs encounters, I guess you know what I mean, you learn on the job. You know what I mean right? If not, do not hesitate to ask really.
So over the years more and more I refined the kind of people I hang out with in JKT to my personal taste. Educated, broadly interested , professional, internationally focussed and fun to hang out with. After all work hard is nice only if afterwards you can party hard too. On top of that like I stated before people here, are also beautyfull, generous and sweet. I guess this is called making friends and that is easy in Indonesia. Really not necessary to be a walking ATM to make friends here. As that is rather silly, don’t you think?
And like I said when I entered this thread, I do not understand the negative sentiment dripping of most senior bules comment on bule/local relations. But you’re not like that coz I understand you are happy with your current Indonesian lady. Good for you Stevo.
And to Frankly answer your question raised:
German girls…. my experience here dates back to college and university and back then they were nice. Nothing wrong with that. Good looking, nice, thank god not too serious as I hate that, all in all nice. Nowadays I like german cars and for the rest no comment…..(no offence Stevo)
Dutch girls, No complaints here, still have many good friends and always fun to be back here. Guess everybody likes his own people unless driven away from them by traumatic experience. Dont know how is that with you. But then again you are from the US, right?
Feel free to cut and past a line here and there, pull it out of context and be creative. Funny guy….
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@ Deta
Sure, understand that don’t worry.
And it was a good one 🙂
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Lordy! How come I get the blame? All I did was give the buffalo the lightest of prods an age ago, and the great snorting beast goes gallumphing off into the sunset…
Penis = man… as a wild asside, anyone ever heard of the Serat Darmogandul? It’s a howlingly outrageous (and very funny) piece of 19th Century Javanese allusive satire, which is, basically, an unprecedentedly scandolous attack on conservative Islam, by way of very rude metaphors. It concerns the travels of Darmogandul and his buddy Gatoloco. Ask your wife… lordy, I mean, maid… sh*t timdog! I mean that bargirl over there, what the names mean in Javanese…