Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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Farah says:
@ Mr achmad
I like the rice field too ! theres still many here, but its less in Java and Bali, well especially Bali because they build villas (more income?) -
Tempting, very tempting, to dive back in on this one now that the resident bule boy pretending to be an Indonesia, AS, is back…
But, nah…much more fun to just read!
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Oigal says:
Bugger me… I am burning down whole villages now..Laugh..oinkgal ??? Just begs for something like Ayam Chocolate ….
Sigh… as the man said tempting very tempting..but nagh all way too easy..see ya chocolate
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Achmad Sudarsono says:
@ Seksi Rob Yth.,
We will go to the rice fields together !
You can help me write my new stream-of-consciousness novel, “Lovin’ by the banks of the Sawah….”
Va Va Voom !
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Dang..Rob..just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water (fields) just remember to mangle another great old movie tag “In the paddie no-one can you scream”
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Va Va Voom indeed!
Although, I think that the rice fields in Australia are somewhere down Leeton way 😀
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@ Oigal: It’s true.
@ Rob: you’ll be back.
@ Farah:
Oigal is quite a fair-minded and liberal-thinking person, generally positioned in the “liberal conservative” camp. (Hope that’s fair, Pak Oigal).
He can thus be challenging to soundly insult. I find it’s been most effective to combine outright prejudice and ignorance with just a touch of informed opinion. He seems to be most sensitive on the issues of:
* Australia’s moral standing: Accusing Australians of corruption, and especially racism, works well. Accusing Australia of still being a prisoner of its White Australia past has also drawn a bite in the past. Perhaps hammer that theme home.
* Australian armed forces: Few soldiers appreciate slurs on their alma maters, and insulting and discrediting the Australian armed forces can also work well. Probably best to make it subtle, accusing them of incompetence and play-it-safe cowardice rather than corruption.
* Stating Asian cultural superiority to Australians: imply that Australians can’t see nuances, don’t understand interpersonal subtleties, bring an assumption of moral superiority when in fact they’re barbarians. (a bit of overlap with previous themes).
* Passive aggressive Asian nationalism: this is a good one as it really wrangles alot of Western liberals who are hung up on a time they had nothing to do with, such as the three centuries of Western colonialism. Best to keep it subtle, throw in a few comments about the “power of the white man,” and “arrogance of the white man.”
Overall, it’s important to try to maintain credibility – that gives your insults more weight.
Below the Belt:There are a range of tactics if you want to get below the belt. Some I’ve outlined in my post on insulting people, but some you’d probably want to leave alone. I leave you to research those.
Outright lies and personal slander: accusing Oigal of frequenting sleazy Blok-M bars is one.
Name calling: a bit childish, but fun, I think it was me who first named him “Oink-Gal,” after he called me AssMad.
Hope that helps,
Achmad.
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@ Oink-GAL
..errrhhhh thought someone said don’t respond MY comment.. hmmmm miss me already yaaa?
Go dream about your burnt chicken hahahahahaha !@ Mr Achmad
… i want to believe oink-GAL is a GAL/girl, very hard for me (now) to accept that its an old guy ! Emotional, a bit irrational, demanding/pushy, talk a lot i think we see this on most of young women (especially on their PMS days) because women more expressive than men 😉Stating Asian cultural superiority to Australians: imply that Australians can’t see nuances, don’t understand interpersonal subtleties, bring an assumption of moral superiority when in fact they’re barbarians. (a bit of overlap with previous themes).
Thank you for the information about oink-GAL. Now bit understand oink-GAL better 🙂 🙂
Yup, he is indeed good in childish game like calling names. You call him oink-GAL, after he call you AssMad, I will call him aswell OINK-GAL after he call me brown.
Outright lies and personal slander: accusing Oigal of frequenting sleazy Blok-M bars is one
Don’t know oink-GAL that much to say that, but i did assumed he’s a reg in Jakarta and Bali bars. From the way he assumed that ALL indonesia girls are brown.. ehhh yeah.. did thought he never been to Sumatra, or meet fair skin pretty Sulawesi girls, or cute Kalimantan girls that looks like chinese rather than a sweet brown as he mentioned.
I will leave him alone, so sad to know the fact that its a girlie old guy !! what a shame !
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@ Farah,
You’re on the right track, but need to focus a little more on Australian issues.
That’s his weak point. He can see the country in a clear light from living overseas, but has alot of loyalties from growing up there and serving as a soldier. The contradiction makes him vulnerable to insults — even stupid ones.
As a gesture of respect, it’s probably good to keep the insults as stupid as possible so no one- especially Pak Oigal – takes them personally.
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@ AS…
Nah, I won’t be back for anything but the odd holiday…
(well, unless someone is crazy enough to pay me an inflated salary with fringe benefits in these times of financial chaos)
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@ Seksi Pak Rob Yth.,
On the insult-fest, yes, we should revive it. 3 rounds, 3 days, 300 words per missive, something like that. Headline:
300 Achmad and Ross Face Off (As If Ross’s face isn’t enough to turn anyone off).
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Ok, let’s say Monday, better let Ross know, I had been thinking of calling it ‘Jaksa Joust’ or ‘Brawl on the Blok’ but Face Off will do..
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ET says:
@ Oigal
To smoothen it out I suggest you call her sawo matang instead of brown chocolate. Brown and chocolate have too many connotations of darkness and tambah hitam is about the worst thing that can happen to an Indonesian woman. They can get very upset about it. But they all like sawo matang. You must certainly know that. 🙂
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Astrajingga says:
How about kuning langsat?
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@ ET
I would be happy if someone said” wow you’re skin so fair like a bule” i would take that as compliment, but this oink-GAL think when i call him bule it means something really negative that he got offended.
Sawo matang or kuning langsat not in oink-GAL dictionary, thats why he can’t understand that indonesian have so many colors than brown or dark brown ! hehehehe… 🙂 🙂@ Astrajingga
.. i did try to explain that “kuning langsat” is more to my color. But now i kind of thinking oink-gal don’t even understand what kuning langsat is. And maybe also kuning langsat is not on his mind when describing about indonesian girls. So.. let the old guy have those wild imagination about sweet brownies or over cooked chicken 😛 -
Odinius says:
I would pay to see this Achmad-Ross insult joust. Achmad is the funniest one on here, consistently cracks me up. Ross, on the other hand, is probably the most bizarre character on here. Love reading his posts, with their unique combination of Indophilia and mid-1980s Thatcherite politics, as a result.
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@ Farah,
Also, alot of Bulesliving here get labelled as people who couldn’t make it back home. That’s one to try.
Or, accusing Oigal of having the “White Man’s Burden,” and seeing it as his job to “civilize the natives.” As in, what sort of guy voluntarily uproots and puts himself in a society he constantly labels as corrupt, incompetent and stupid.
It’s really irritating because it deliberately misrepresents his position, and twists his arguments. If you can mix it up with a few personal insults, perhaps related to age, it can be really annoying. Something like:
“Oigal, I don’t know if its the cheap Chinese viagra, or constant supply of human tragedy that attracts you to Indonesia. This might be hard to take: but the country will get by just fine without your litany of complaints about ordinary political and social problems.”
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fullmoonflower says:
How about chinese looks?
My Dutch friend asked me to search a girl with chinese looks for him.. looks like me, but not me.. hahaha… 😛
He prefered chinese looks than sawo matang…Well, I think it’s all about taste… 🙄
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Damo says:
I am 34 years old and recently met a 24 year old girl from Jakarta at a bar while on Holliday in Bali. After spending 9 days with her i paid her money and left and stayed in SMS contact. While we where together she seemed very sad and told me that she was working in Bali to get money for her family and this was her second time in Bali.
She is the second eldest of a family of 6 (5 girls and 1 boy) and i could tell she loved her family dearly. She loves her father also but he only gets limited work in Jarkata and has trouble supporting his family.While i was with her the eldest sister had a baby in Jalarta and she was very excited. Week after i left she told me she was going back to Jarkata and i agreed to help pay her younger sisters school fees and mothers medical bills and eat etc i will send $500AUD per Month (4,000,000 Rp) and she would not work for man anymore and wait for me to return.
$500 dollars a month for me is not alot of money and i like to think that i am giving her some piece of mind and help her family as i could tell she did not enjoy sleeping with men (including me) in Bali for money. I realize she does not love me after only 9 days together but plan to visit her in Jakarta for a week here and there and maybe her effection will grow (maybe not).
Some other things about her are she has blue contact lenses (which look amazing) and a tattoo, she has scars up her arms that she said she did to herself because she is sick and exhausted (maybe as a result of having to sleep with men for money). Her religion is Muslim.Her english is very basic but we can comunicate both talk and SMS (with some problems).
I do believe her story as everything so far has proven correct incl her address and date of birth etc and will know even more after i go to see her in Jarkata. It makes me feel good to pay money to give her family some security and hope that i help her mental state by not having to work for men any more (excpet me). I dont really care if she sleeps with other men in my absence so long as she does it because she wants to.
What would worry me about it would be that she lied to me and if she is lying about this then maybe i am only one of many men sending her money and that she is using it for herself and not to help her family.
I think she is a good girl and I do believe her. Should I? Any advice?
I believe her. Should i?
After I contacted her on SMS i agreed to send her monthly
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I would pay to see this Achmad-Ross insult joust.
$500 dollars a month for me is not alot of money
Then you can both become official IM Supporters!!! Works out at only $7 a month!!! lol (Damo I will leave others better qualified to deal with your main questions..)
Farah, I think with the “chocolate fighter” comment Oigal was actually trying to be nice to you and paying you a compliment in reference to the disagreements with that horrid person Dyaculture, Oigal is alright…let’s put it all behind us..
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@ Seksi Mr. Pateongs Yth., if it helps promote IM — let’s do the insult-a-thon.
Also Pak Oigal, despite beating up on Farah recently has generally been pretty classy. I’ve got my criticisms, which he has yet to respond to, but he tries to do the right thing.
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@ fmf
Yeah… its depends on people preferences. Some prefer to dark or lighter skin, yellowish, or pink 🙂
And i think a mix is always good.@ Mr Patoeng
Farah, I think with the “chocolate fighter” comment Oigal was actually trying to be nice to you and paying you a compliment in reference to the disagreements with that horrid person Dyaculture, Oigal is alright…let’s put it all behind us..
I didn’t mind he call me chocolate, what i mind is, he think i give a d*mn about colors. Call me red or blue that would be wicked ! or much better if he really want to call me call me “kuning langsat” because thats more describing me ! hehehe…
@ Damo
I ever read a book about an American guy killed by his own Philipino wife to get his money. The book said, “you can take a girl from a bar, but you can’t take the bar from that girl“= I will give you this link to the book.Some girls does turn out to be okay after you take her from bar, because there’s plenty girls went into bad live because they doesn’t have any choice or any skills for a decent job. They just wait for better opportunity, just like what you’ve been given.
But sometimes there’s much more that stupid enough that feel its just not enough to get source of money just from 1 person only. If she could get it from you, why she can’t get it from other guy ?
I said stupid because this is just short way to get more money, but they don’t have the secure feeling, and really belonged by someone, not have to do nasty work and so on.
Hm… hehe you send much money for sure.. well for most of people who work their butt in office 4 million a month could pay a good rent room, and cover all transport and could sometimes pamper them self eating something nice. 4 million for doing nothing, just wait for you in indonesia ? wow…. she is very lucky ! (you are a good man i believe that).
A best friend of mine from Australia had same story. He met a girlin bali, she originally come from Makassar. Same exact sad story. Family, sister, aunts, and so on.
The girl cheat on him, because she said, one guy wont be enough for her. She like to have a lot of man. While he already ready to be a husband to her-married her, accept and love HER 3 Y/O BABY BOY, give her money, pay her house rent, buy her baby needs, its everything. He went to Makassar to met the parent, and made her promise not to go back to work to Bali. She went back not long after he went back to Australia. She went to bar every night for guys (caucasian guys ONLY).She do 2-3 guys every night, and it just destroy my friend heart. He already give her chances but its just not work.
I could give you his contact if you want to discuss. He would love to explain it to you 😀 why it is so hard to do.
Anyway… its all back to you again Mr Damo, you believe you could safe/change her, do it with all your heart do not hesitate. Good luck ! 🙂
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@ fullmoonflower
So, this is an evidence that not all bule has money tree…
Shhht! Be quiet. Don’t spoil the fun.
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AS said
if it helps promote IM — let’s do the insult-a-thon.
IM, especially this thread, is becoming more and more like a gladiator arena in ancient Rome.
Ave Caesar morituri te salutant (Hail Caesar, those who are going to die greet you). -
Or a Balinese cockfight.
Patung, can you organize the betting? -
@ Damo
No offence but it’s guys like you giving away money for nothing and then let these hookers go on doing what they do who are turning them into spoiled rats. No wonder they infest places like Bali.
Think with your head. -
Lairedion says:
Damo,
Why should we advise you how to spend your money? If sending AU$ 500,- every month makes you feel good then I guess everybody’s happy because that money is being injected into the Indonesian economy.
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@ Fara
Thanks Farah. I hope she does not kill me that would be a real bummer. I dont really know what i was wanting by putting message in but your reply was honest and i respect your opinion. I know there is no gaurantees but in life there never is hey. You clearly stated what i already knew, that everyone is different and every case is different (this is what makes life so great but hey).Anyway i think i will know more after i meet her family and for now i believe her.
I feel a bit weird about the fact that while i am trying to do the right thing i am basically paying her to be with me which is really the same as thing that she was doing before but i hope over time she will want to be with me (maybe not). This way atleast she does not have to be away from her family who she needs and who need her and does not have to be with many men. If she choses to go with other men that is a choice for her and like you said its all back to me to make my choices. I can only go with my feeling and head. And my feeling and head now is that i believe her so i am not going to let the chance slip by life is to short.
P.S i would love to get the details of your Australian friend to discuss (you dont think it would be digging up bad old memories for him do you?
Thanks
@ET
No offence taken. I undesrtand what you say about what i am doing with this girl encouraging other girls as i know they talk but if what she tells me is correct and her dad can not support the family with 5 girls in it what choices does the family really have? One choice i am offering this girl is to not be a rat infesting Bali. It is up to her if she takes it.
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@ oink gal
You does sound like a person love to bully kindergarten kids for real ! and yes, i think i am younger than you, very obvious, you forget things, heheh…
What so ever reply or not do what ever your like, i am not this website admin to order you to reply or not.
@ YD
Wow…. wait ! i didn’t state VILLAGERS ARE DUMB. You’re the one who said it you’re self just now.
Please don’t try interpret whats not on my comments, and talk about morals at the same time.
I know you’re trying to warn me about making wrong statement here. Thank you.
I will explain especially for you why i state that. Its the way how oinkgal behave, reminds me of some villagers angry and burnt down the whole police station because police caught one of them doing illegal logging or some village fight with other village because of small thing (like after a dangdut show?)destroy and burnt others houses, mosque, hurt woman and children. That’s just example. She just got wrong idea, but so burned that cannot think right. Its the manner, the behavior.
Believe me i do agree, some people who’s not have high education sometimes much more wiser, and honest than the one that have better education, the living proof is oinkgal ofcourse.