Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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hipbone_slim says:
No, no phone number yet. I did send her mine, as she had her yahoo messenger set to her mobile, but I have not gotten a reply from her. I think I will pass on the New Year party idea…too much of a rush to make travel arrangements. Maybe try to get to know her better and try for a February trip when it is always nice to get away from the cold here.
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ET says:
@ brian astaga
@ET
sometimes alone and sometimes with her sister.
i suppose it is to be expected though.Yes, it is to be expected. But I suppose you didn’t understand what they were saying. Lucky for you. If you would you’d certainly have a better understanding of the meaning of the words ‘spite’ and ‘envy’.
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Ketut says:
Dating indonesian girls is easy for bule, just go to mall, bar and even Jalan and smile at them. Ask for their number and give yours so they will sms you. Meet them later and there you are, your on a date. Indonesian women see bule as walking god (and ATM) and are easy to pick up.
Just dont trust them, they want your money and this will be the main conversation they will have with their girlfriends when they date a bule, they will all ask her how much you give. Remember you will always pay for everything, even here friends that hang around all the time whenever your out together.
When you sick of her, especially jawa as she will complain and be angry all the time and give you headache, more so when you not send money for mothers sick buffalo or talk to another girl, just say you have no job and no money, her phone number will no longer work and you will never see her out while your around.
If indo women loves and wants to marry you and you not want her (indo will want marriage after 1 day) just say you will live in indo with her family and can she help you get a job, you will soon find that she no longer loves you. Indo women want to travel to your country and shop and see sights before she start to complain about miss bakso and nasi goreng and weather to cold and leave for indo again where you will send 5 million rp per week to support her living good life at salon and clubs making all here friends jealous.
All this is same for fat bule women who date indo man, except he will ask you to buy motorbike on second date as he needs a new one!!! Bule women will buy as she is in lust coz no bule will poke a stick at her and this beach boy from Kuta acts like he loves you!!!
Well not all western/indo relationships are like this, just some light hearted humour.
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Farah says:
@ Pak Ketut
Dating indonesian girls is easy for bule, just go to mall, bar and even Jalan and smile at them. Ask for their number and give yours so they will sms you. Meet them later and there you are, your on a date. Indonesian women see bule as walking god (and ATM) and are easy to pick up.
Just dont trust them, they want your money and this will be the main conversation they will have with their girlfriends when they date a bule, they will all ask her how much you give. Remember you will always pay for everything, even here friends that hang around all the time whenever your out together.
I went to bali once (hope wont be the last), i share with a friend for rooms, and this is a bule guy. I did this when i traveling abroad, share rooms, taxis. Its no problem abroad, it shouldn’t be too in Bali, maybe i was wishing too much for balinese open minded thing.
Most of the time Bali people will call hims as my “guest” (kok mbak yang bayar sendiri? suruh aja tamunya bayar”). And when they accidentally see my id badge said “migas” their face went different and theirs sound like “oohhhhh beneran kerja ya”.
Its quite insulting, when its comes from Indonesian people, how they see Indonesian woman very low. How do you expect people from other country to respect you then.
I don’t want bule money, i am not some girl crazy about bule, its just happen i am traveling with a bule mate, who share the bills.
The way you say your opinion here also just a reminder for me how harsh a local guy could be to Indonesian woman.
Walking ATM??? get real……
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shawty says:
Sorry for your and your sister bad experiences Ketut
hope people only get what they deserve..😀
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Key word = just some light hearted humour!!! But is truth behind all this, happens everyday.
Farah, the ATM bit comes from a girl who told me last week she is looking for bule husband and he must have good heart and better ATM.
Balinese more open minded than rest of indo, most tourist come here because different.
Maybe hard for Balinese as normal pay lower than Jakarta and see oppurtunity to get money from tourist bule because most tourist dollar go to the government and non balinese resort/land owners in Jakarta while bali suffer. Most indo/bule relationship here are with non-balinese indo who come from jawa.
If you not believe I can show you when you come here.
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ariana says:
Oh dear Ketut….. How many times have you got dumped by jawa girls??????
Now i know what local guys have in their filthy mind when they see indonesian women with bule.
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@ Pak Ketut
Its not a good joke to be honest.I am not talking about wages here. If you compare to some part of Sumatra, the wages there are lower than in Bali. But that’s not a good thing to create such assumption when you talk about wages. So lower wages people have right to talk bad about others? (like person who walk with bule is prostitute?) duhhh…. capek deeehh.
I’ve been there for 10 days (only). Its pretty but i just don’t like the attitude. More open minded to bule but not to your own kind as Indonesian. If its bule girl who did walk with bule, half naked that would be ok, but if its brown skin girl talk with indonesian language, maybe, you will see with cynical look on your face. How could you call that open minded???
Tell your girls friend, if she want walking ATM she could be a caddy girl. She will be famous and had lots of money too, and that’s with LOCAL guys.
Anyway thats your opinion, but its just so sad… 🙁
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Farah,
Assumptions, 90% of the tourist market in indonesia is bali, most of the money entering indonesia from tourists is not staying in bali but been taken because of corruption, land and major hotel ownership by former government from jkt. Sumatra and any other place cannot be compared, bali is what the tourists want only 10% of tourists visit the rest of indonesia.
The girl I know who mentioned the bule ATM is not from bali and where did I mention the word prostitute? Most of the people who stare are not from bali, bali use to tourist.
Ariana,
I marry same, so no problem with getting dumped.
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@ Pak Ketut
The girl I know who mentioned the bule ATM is not from bali and where did I mention the word prostitute? Most of the people who stare are not from bali, bali use to tourist.
No word for prostitute of course, its been soften with “orang yang menerima “tamu”” Feel like they talking about an escort. There are no positive mean with that. And i know how balinese talk, have certain intonation when they speak. Yes, they are balinese, i am positive. I went to traditional market, i stay in hostels not hotel. So i met the real bali people.
Maybe not all like that, but mostly (this is painful to say) will do so.
If you talking about income, other province have some “hurts” too. Like in Kalimantan and Sumatra (Start from Aceh, Medan, Riau, Jambi, Palembang have big oil and gas production), we prob had bigger income from oil and gas on shore and offshore from other island like Java or Bali, but guess where the money mostly goes to??
Its just the same, so its not the good basic to justify things like taking tourist money.
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chocolatos says:
I met my GF a year ago online.i live in london she lives in malang,on java.
We have ever since been so kind too eachother,i visited her a few months ago, we stayed together for two weeks. We love eachother alot,she is suh a nice and caring girl.
Now im tryin to bring her to london to visit me for a few weeks.I think most indonesian girls are just naturally carin,there really nice. I hope if anyone wants to date them,please be serious and dont hurt them,not just cos there indonesian but because there a woman,all woman should be treated nicely.
🙂 -
Nay says:
Dating indonesian girls is easy for bule, just go to mall, bar and even Jalan and smile at them.
That part is true.
Remember you will always pay for everything, even here friends that hang around all the time whenever your out together.
You’re doing it wrong.
Essentially you want to avoid having a “relationship” with the women. You want to be nothing more than a good friend. Whether you “make love” or not shouldn’t matter, and certainly shouldn’t be public, right? (but it can certainly happen).
Of course, if you are not capable of being her good friend – then what I am about to say won’t work, because you won’t mean it. If that’s the case, do yourself a favour and find a women who you actually can get along well with.You will have to destroy their objection of “I will only make love with a boyfriend”, by calling it out for what it is… “prostitution”. Whether you get hitched or have a relationship means nothing. The only thing that keeps any couple together is friendship and trust and that should be enough without any defining terms or need for a relationship. Once you cross the rubicon into a relationship, you’ve changed the dynamic from “friendship” to “prostitution”… and then you have a business relationship in which you are the “boss” and she is the whining employee who hates her “job” and always asking for a raise, and will constantly threaten to “quit your business” to get what she wants.
Quite toxic for both people.Also, find a woman who can pay her own way. Again, this comes down to avoiding a “relationship” (and perhaps only dating women with some money behind them).
Lastly, try and avoid situations that you cannot control. (Such as when they constantly bring their friends along unannounced.) It just makes you look like a tool to be used. Be a “busy” person and only allow yourself to see her at certain free times in situations that you can control (such as you and her alone). If she won’t play ball with that, then “selamat jalan”…. it’s the only time you can see her. You have to man up and say “my way or highway”. If you feel that you are being treated as some kind of “bule god” then you need to raise your own prices. Even if you scare her off by playing hardball, she will respect you more.
When you sick of her, especially jawa as she will complain and be angry all the time and give you headache, more so when you not send money for mothers sick buffalo or talk to another girl, just say you have no job and no money, her phone number will no longer work and you will never see her out while your around.
Again, for the reasons I described you’re doing it wrong. Her male “friends” are never subject to this nonsense. Only husbands and boyfriends, and PROVIDERS (who she works for by putting on the whole “I love you” act for money) are subject to her “union bargaining” agreements over your wallet with her friends.
this beach boy from Kuta acts like he loves you!!!
Those guys are providing a service to lonely women, capable of cognitive dissonance! Don’t knock them!
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brian astaga says:
hey chocolatos …..are you a poet?
merry christmas to christians and juga to others on here.
bule dating indonesian women……wow this conversation will never end!
because they are interesting and very beuttifull…
xxx
happy birthday jesus
and thankyou for putting indonesian women on the planet earth.
cium
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laluna says:
merry christmas all……….this is really interesting topic….ive read many comments….so many positive n negative comments……and makes me laugh sometimes…:D…..
@ farah: really nice to read ur comment…its helpful…….
finally i registered…..after long time just read the comment,,,,,,:D
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riniss says:
marry christmas all…for u who celebrate it.:)
ahhahahha, lol brian!
the indonesian girls say thank to lord for putting bule guys on planet earth.ROFL. -
ROFL?
sama sama
it would be better if I was ROF with my indonesian cantik indah cewek sayangku cintaku
ahah ROFL
…
oh the memorieseverybody have a good new year also
selamat tidur malam
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*yah, dia curhat.:P*
okay, have a nice sleep…*errr..what time is it there??* -
bs says:
@pak Kentut
Why are you complaining about life in Bali? You guys are way better of than most other provinces. Never new most of the money the local tour guide asks goes to the government in Jakarta …
@chocolatos
My wife is from Malang. A very nice and relaxed place. Let me know if I you need any information. -
bs, is that typo or what?his name is ketut,i think….
and he is complaining about bali maybe because he gets bored about living there.
is that right pak KETUT? -
Hi BS,
It could be better though, always try to make it better even if you are better off than most provinces.
It is not small tour guides, the big hotels and resorts owned by illegal land takes and government graft.
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I know the government collects money from Bali as well(airport scam etc.). But look at the percentage of income the central govt takes from gas in Aceh or mining in Papua. That hovers around 80%.
I’ve been to Bali quite some times, And I always loose more money to local scams (guides, transport, shops, food stalls) than govt or hotels. But maybe that’s just me.
@Riniss
It might be a spelling error or it might not be one. It’s up to the reader to decide that 😉 -
BS,
Oh so because the government takes money from other areas its ok, no problem.
How do you loose money or get scammed at food stalls? And are the scammers local or from other provinces?
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I don’t say it’s not a problem. The problem is just much worse for your fellow Indonesians. That’s why I suggest you don’t complain to much about financial problems in Bali. Bali is among the provinces with best standards (wages, education, etc.)
And sorry to say this but the scammers are mostly local. The often speak Balinese, have Balinese names and claim to be from Bali. If it walks like a duck …
At food stalls they often ask higher prices if they see a foreigner (sometimes tripled). Talking with other locals (the friendly ones of which there are many too) confirmed this for me.
The problem is not specificly with the Balinese, it’s with the tourist industry. It’s the same in Sulawesi, Jawa and Sumatra. -
@ Pak Ketut
Its not ok for other province too. But i don’t think its right for you to whining it up here with other people from other province and foreigner. Its a shame.
Have you been to other province? other island perhaps? Have you visit most of Kalimantan, Sumatra, or Irian Jaya? or maybe perhaps browse it around on internet? Its really beautiful and rich islands. In some places its also become tourist destination, like West Sumatra, Aceh and Nias, people went there for surfing these days.
Compare to small Bali, you are very lucky that even government taking money from your province, your province have better infrastructure than other province that had bigger income, at least you had those busy international airport (its an income too).
So stop whining, start to traveling around indonesia, and see by your self what you are whining about. Beside that, i can’t see the real connection between that and dating indonesian girls we talk about here.
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Lol,u rite farah.it seems like oot or out of topic..i dont know why pak ketut keep whining about bali.disastified with bali or balinesse pak?
Btw,i have question for all bules (or indonesian friends) here,why many western people afraid of south east asian girls?espesially them,who never come to indonesia or any other SEA countries..*umm.do we,the girls or people,look like a vampire or ghost so u r afraid of us?*:)
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when you sey south east asian girls? are you talking about indonesian girls?
many of my western people friends who have not travel to indonesia, love SEA Asian girls becuase they are all crazy and exciting know riniss…most anyway
what do you mean afraid? lol
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Hmm when did I whine about Bali? Bali best place in indo…….even full of people who visit or come to work from all indonesia, I question take of money by jakarta.
Farah whatever you think, I can say what I want.
I travel sumatra, java, timor and most of asia and even live and educated in western country. Where you travel before? I try compare best and worst and hope can improve my home not be defeatist and accept bad life which common.
To answer your question on why bule afraid of asian, I not think afraid haha, I have many bule friend want indonesian wife but there is cultural diffrences and hard for them find modern thinker. If never visit here people not know truth, only hear of bad things like thailand bar girls in asia from media.
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@ Pak Ketut
I travel sumatra, java, timor and most of asia and even live and educated in western country. Where you travel before? I try compare best and worst and hope can improve my home not be defeatist and accept bad life which common.
Wah… you such ignorant then. How come someone who travel around, and educated in WESTERN COUNTRY had such opinion. Capek deh. Maybe you spent your time too long in western country that you forgot that Indonesia are left behind about hundred years due to colonialism to learn about good live standard. We are catching up, but you can’t compare bali to europe or united state or australia where ever you’ve been study.
Like i said, govt take money, or private company take money but they BUILD your beloved island too. Private company or hotel owner hire LOCAL BALINESE as worker so they will had income. Hotels and those resort move the local economy too, goverment build road access to villages to hotels and resorts, its all related. There always be give-and-take things here. Don’t you study that abroad pak ketut???
Maybe you have to improve the way you think first my dearest educated pak ketut.
I travel to mostly SE Asia (next year to Vietnam, yippie !!), and most part of indonesia, all Sumatra, Java, and Bali of course. I am not rich spoiled daddy girl, so still cannot afford traveling to western country just for holiday.
Oh yes WE could say what we want, sure 🙂 i know that.
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Maybe hard for Balinese as normal pay lower than Jakarta and see oppurtunity to get money from tourist bule because most tourist dollar go to the government and non balinese resort/land owners in Jakarta while bali suffer.
and this:
It could be better though, always try to make it better even if you are better off than most provinces.
It is not small tour guides, the big hotels and resorts owned by illegal land takes and government graft.
or:
BS,
Oh so because the government takes money from other areas its ok, no problem.
If you are not satisfy with something that you see you should do something instead just talk..talk… and… talk, this is what i call whining.
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@farah
yeh I was trying to say ‘lots of love’
is the translation is something like sayang banyak lol ?
@ET
sometimes alone and sometimes with her sister.
i suppose it is to be expected though.
@hipbone_slim
7 hours of chat isnt much though. yeh big difference in age also, what have you got to loose, have you got her phone number or anything yet. I sounds a little bit dodgy as you say.