Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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Suryo Perkoso says:
Advice for people with a loving nature donât get too involved with indonesian girls unless you can support them, they have complex and intense lives not all by choice a lot want balance!
If I can add to that, support the extended the entire kampung as well if you don’t start off on the right foot.
She is a prostitute in bali who has two kids in java (10 hrs drive on motorbike ) wo are looked after by her mother, she works in bali to support them. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS AND IS BEING TRAPPED TO DO THIS TO SUPPORT HER FAMILY!!!! the c*nt father has no involvement any more.
Careful here, whilst javanese men have a habit of being useless, you should check which came first, the chicken or the egg…
And also remember that you never miss a slice off a cut loaf. Now, in the past my wife went through some pretty tough times, but she didn’t hawk her pearly (well if she did, she didn’t make much out of it ) – consider very carefully if your wolf can change it’s skin, and if she can’t, how much can you make out of it. -
brian astaga says:
suryo I understand what you are saying about supporting the entire kampung! we agree
about the “c*nt father” when you say which came first the chicken or the egg. That is irrelevant……..I’m not shore about your situation, if you had children of your own would you want to support them no matter what happens. In australia if I had a daughter and seperated from my wife I would still support my daughter understand?
therefore he is a c*nt and yes a useless javanese man.your wife may not have “hawk her pearly ha ha! that is not the situation for all women in indonesia, when you have a large network to support ie. two children a sister and a mother, you need money and lots of it…..and I know that for a java girl working in a restaraunt in bali would not make enough to support everyone that she needs to………
what other option does she havemaybe im crazy suryo but i think my wolf can change her beautiful skin!!!!!
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Oigal says:
Mmmm…
An old and wise Indonesian saying comes to mind..
“You can take the girl out of the Blok but you cannot take the blok out of the girl”
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ya ya ya ya ya
i still love her!
java girls… i love their eyes, i love their skin and i love their lips
they are beautiful in their unique way!
they have complex lives but for someone like myself with tragedy in their past i’m attracted to it and want to support them! anyone know what im on about?? -
@ OIGAL
I’m sure she doesnt want to be a prostitute……..
she has some self respect for herself I know this !
other girls in bali are dirty very very dirty girls……with small self respect
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Brian me old fruit, you may have a cultural awakening to come.
A very sweet frend of mine – Yenni, is 27, her husband has also pissed off, but she manages with more conventional work, she has to manage on just over $100 US a month, for her lodging, her food, and to put her son in school. There are other options than pelacuran.
Reading between the lines, your “girlfriend” hasn’t the education or inclination to do anything else, if it is the former, then your relationship may be quite complex, at the bare minimum you will need to learn Bahasa Indo to get your point across and understand her, and ideally a smattering of Boso Jowo would help get you into her mind. If it is the latter, the so long as your pocket book is well lined, then you will have a fine girlfriend.Be careful of the “I want to help all the strays” feeling that may afflict you, it is a common illness, but can be fatal, at least to your heart and your dompet.
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Brian…simply commenting on an old saying..not anyone in particular..
Besides some of my best friends are old whores..
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Be careful of the âI want to help all the straysâ feeling that may afflict you, it is a common illness, but can be fatal, at least to your heart and your dompet.
Suryo…talks a lot of sense here, tis a very very common complaint..victims are normally referred to Slush Puppies which a far nicer term than the traditional western term C….Struck. However there are very very few of us who have not been infected at some time or another..Rumour has it the loss of normal prudence and self control the infection leads was the inspiration for the movie 28 Days Later (which is the normal infection period although some infections go on for years). Have you been touched up for the mobile phone and pulsa yet?
Now that is not to say happiness and contentment connot be found but on balance it pays to remember the tag line of the movie.
“His fear began when he woke up alone. His terror began when he realised he wasn’t”
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Suryo
I do have a cultural awakening to come!
I am trying to piece the puzzle together …..as good as I can !!
thankyou for your posting my friend…..
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Mike Oxblack says:
How is young Yenni by the way Suryo? Still giving you a lob on?
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oigal…
when you say have i been touched up for mobile phone and pulsa, is pulsa money??
we do talk on the mobile but I would never send her any money…..I also met one of her friends, who was having jiggy-jig with my best mate when i was over bali last week, and her “boyfriend” would call on the phone from america each night at 7pm just after jiggy-jig with my mate, and she would ask him for money telling needs to go to doctor etc, he would sometimes call her during jiggy-jig with my friend ha ha!
we were lucky to meet a couple of java girls who opened up to us a suprising amount! they told us that some girls have 5 or 6 husbands around the world sending them weekly money……………..CRAZY RIGHT aka slush puppies!!!!
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rifraf says:
Besides some of my best friends are old whores..
Well, some of these women do not take money for sex, but do it so very often with so many different men and above all….do everything….anywhere….
What do you call them? Whores For Free.
I know this particular girl, who used to be called Whore For Free.
Why? Because, she could have sex anytime with her boyfriend and anywhere.
She even went to the extent of going to hotels, like Green Hotel in Bandung, just to have sex.
And the best part is, she paid for the hotel room for 3 hours.
What did the guy get? A drive to Hotel Green. A beautiful 18/19 year old girl from a respected family, got her without any clothes for 3 hours, got oral, got to do her 2 times in 3 hours and he didn’t spend a penny.What luck, man?
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Hmmm yes. This is another part of this complex equation. Namely that Indonesians are a rather epicurean lot and most of the women love it up ’em, money or no money. I mean this as a great compliment although the religiously inclined would no doubt disagree.
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Talking about religious inclination, the women i have mentioned, including xxxx, are hard core muslims. Mother wearing a hijab, praying 5 times, etc.
But how does it matter?Have sex, give oral, get dirty, satisfy yourself, satify the guy…..after that just have a shower and purify yourself….and appear “like a virgin”.
It doesn’t matter whether
a) you are doing all that before marriage,
b) you are doing it with a guy who is not your husband to be,
c) you are doing it with a guy who you met a few days ago, while your boyfriend is somewhere else,
d) your parents think that you are working or studying hard.
e) your parents think that you are fasting during Ramadhan, while on the other side you have just had a lot of … after giving oral.And all the girls protect each other and cover up for each other.
Poor parents and poor loyal boyfriends. -
Rifraf, It has probably escaped your notice but my comments where tongue in cheek but seriosuly you need to join the current century.
who used to be called Whore For Free.
Why? Because, she could have sex anytime with her boyfriend and anywhere.
She even went to the extent of going to hotels, like Green Hotel in Bandung, just to have sex.That does not make the girl a whore, just a girl who knows what she wants and gets it. She sounds a whole lot better adjusted than you…I would (and the majority of rational beings) would suggets that what anyone does with their bf/gf, significant other is their business not your. Damn you even have noted the hotel..thats really sad..in a pathetic kind of way.
Ok this did make me laugh though..
“She even went to the extent of going to hotels”….. AAAHHH SHOCK ..HORROR…SAVE US
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think, if you were a girl like the ones you mention.
growing up as a young girl praying and being forced into a life which im quite shore would be boring as f*ck! Then, as soon as it is possible for them to enter clubs, smoke, get drunk and legally have sex……………….what would you do lol?its eithor depression or club it up and have fun!
I know that I would definately hit the clubs up big time! -
Rifraf you should stop using people’s names, I deleted the references to names.
is pulsa money
Pulsa is the credits for the phone, but your’e not sending her any so good…
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I would probably be a dirty whore myself HA HA HA
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Anthony says:
Wow…just stumbled on the site.
I went on vacation and spent some time in Jakarta. I got home last week. I met a sweet Indonesian woman, not anything like I’m used to. I live in the Bay Area in California, and the last gf I had was nowhere near this woman’s quality. She was very close to her family, very sweet and sincere. I fell in love with her from the first minute…at least, that’s what I call it. For the first time in my life I wanted to be a supporter (for her). My life seemed to have a better purpose. I have spent more time missing her than I actually did with her by now. The hardest part of the day, even now, is coming home and knowing she isn’t there (yes I fell hard). Now, I study Bahasa Indonesia budaya dan bahasa, on top of regular schooling and work. I am also talking more to my friends and their Imam about Al Qur’an and how to be a good Muslim. I want to finish my schooling fast and find an enjoyable career but for her sakes mostly. But I am a bit scared because no matter how the heart feels, the brain must think. I am not aware of all the pitfalls and dangers of dating a woman in Indonesia and how to steer away from it. All I know is she fits everything I didn’t know I needed. Should I be worried, what signs do I look for? Am I just naturally worried because everything’s going so fast? I know her full name, many of her likes and dislikes and we chat online all the time. This lets me get to know her and build a relationship of sorts before I come back to visit next year. I actually have more drive to become a better and successful person because of her and I haven’t so much as had any urge of talking to the other sex outside of friendship now. Bottom line is she’s the center of my world now, so should I worry about anything, or am I paranoid? What should I pay attention to if I should be worried. Any sincere input would be great. By-the-way I’m not Bule, asli Pilipina, tinggal di Amerika. Terima kasih. -
anthony
if you read my post at the top of th page I think we are in quite a similar situation my friend, first question which comes to my head for your sake was… at what times of the trip did you pay her, if you bought her tea etc thats ok but if you gave her money for staying with you then I think you need understand that MOST indonesian girls only chase the wallet!learning bahasa indo and how to be a good muslim is a good plan but dont get too excited with it!
channel the good energy from your relationship with her into your normal life!
you must remember that her life goes on without you being with her over there and dont be too possessive or interogative with her, if you start doubting things about her!
remember the good times and be a good friend over the phone to her…….after all thats all you can really do! I’m in the same situation!
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Rifraf you should stop using peopleâs names, I deleted the references to names
I agree and I apologise for using names.
Anyway, its not this that I am not from the current century.
Going to Hotel to get sex is something not very popular and is still looked down upon.And I am not talking being in the century here. I am talking about the confusion that the woman was under. She loved someone, but had more lust that usual. She was hiding everything from her folks, but doing everything which a straightforward woman won’t do.
If you think that allowing your boyfriend to click naked pictures and other pictures is fine and you become more modern, I don’t think so.
And moreover, she didn’t do it with one guy. Out of the numerous guys she slept with, I know of 3 guys who clicked her nude.She sounds a whole lot better adjusted than you
Really????
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I did not pay for her time, I did buy us tickets to a movie and also some snacks once, but she so far has yet to ask me for money, in fact she kept me from spending any on her. The first time we went out she paid for my ticket and pushed me in the bus…hehehe…
Yea thanks Brian I guess it just feels better hearing it from someone else…
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Oh yea…and so far no sex… it complicates things ;P…….
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mmmmmmmmm sounds like an interesting relationship between you two then…
but for me no sex would make things awkward but maybe not for others!
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Going to Hotel to get sex is something not very popular and is still looked down upon.
Only by sad people who cannot mind their own business. Most reasonable people who think what happens between two consenting adults is thier concern and noone elses. Is that really such a difficult concept to comprehend
She loved someone, but had more lust that usual. She was hiding everything from her folks, but doing everything which a straightforward woman wonât do.
Gee you are confused little one aren’t you, more lust than usual by whose standards. You really should listen to bitter old guys whose sole exposure the opposite sex is there poor mothers. I have some real bad news about your straightforward woman as well đ
If you think that allowing your boyfriend to click naked pictures and other pictures is fine and you become more modern, I donât think so.
And moreover, she didnât do it with one guy. Out of the numerous guys she slept with, I know of 3 guys who clicked her nude.Funny..this poor girl is morphing into the devil woman..actually not I wouldn’t call it modern but dangerous really but not because its bad or naughty but far too many guys lack the maturity to be discrete…call it little boy bragging syndrome..
Better adjusted than you..yup the more I read the more you sound like she just the taste to knock someone like you back. đ
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HA HA HA
thats about as funny as that Harry bloke in the first few pages of this thread/discussion..
HAHAHAHA
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Rob says:
@ Anthony…
Mate. if you are looking for telltale signs at this stage then I wonder what sort of chance the relationship will have if you do decide to take the plunge?
Despite what you might have read in these pages, it is fair to say that not all Indonesian woman are the same. The fact that she offered to pay and that there has been no sex, is hardly indicative of any particular standard of girl and it is hardly indicative of a scenario where you won’t end up getting played.
My advice is simple, go with the flow and if it feels right then pursue it. If you have concerns at this point perhaps it is already time to bail out and start afresh.
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Farah says:
@ Anthony
WowâŚjust stumbled on the site.
I went on vacation and spent some time in Jakarta. I got home last week. I met a sweet Indonesian woman, not anything like Iâm used to. I live in the Bay Area in California, and the last gf I had was nowhere near this womanâs quality. She was very close to her family, very sweet and sincere. I fell in love with her from the first minuteâŚat least, thatâs what I call it. For the first time in my life I wanted to be a supporter (for her). My life seemed to have a better purpose. I have spent more time missing her than I actually did with her by now. The hardest part of the day, even now, is coming home and knowing she isnât there (yes I fell hard). Now, I study Bahasa Indonesia budaya dan bahasa, on top of regular schooling and work. I am also talking more to my friends and their Imam about Al Qurâan and how to be a good Muslim. I want to finish my schooling fast and find an enjoyable career but for her sakes mostly. But I am a bit scared because no matter how the heart feels, the brain must think. I am not aware of all the pitfalls and dangers of dating a woman in Indonesia and how to steer away from it. All I know is she fits everything I didnât know I needed. Should I be worried, what signs do I look for? Am I just naturally worried because everythingâs going so fast? I know her full name, many of her likes and dislikes and we chat online all the time. This lets me get to know her and build a relationship of sorts before I come back to visit next year. I actually have more drive to become a better and successful person because of her and I havenât so much as had any urge of talking to the other sex outside of friendship now. Bottom line is sheâs the center of my world now, so should I worry about anything, or am I paranoid? What should I pay attention to if I should be worried. Any sincere input would be great. By-the-way Iâm not Bule, asli Pilipina, tinggal di Amerika. Terima kasih.Well.. does sound like a sincere relationship.. no sex involve.. its a good sign when a girl willing to pay you something without your request (even if its only a movie ticket).
If you feel happy with her then don’t let those suspicious minds about bad things that you read here or hear somewhere else stop what you have with her.I think if you meet someone that made you a happier and a better person, no matter if he/she philipinos, malay, indonesian, australian, etc you should be with that person…. that’s just a thought.
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@ brian astaga
No one want to do filthy job as a “rental unit” for sure. But every body have choices in their life. Just open your eyes, and see clear, there are much more poverty here in Indonesia, and not all end up in a night club, alcohol, and sex stuff.
There are a lot of girls goes into prostitution because of poverty, but its their choice.
She could sell some cupcakes, doughnut what ever or sew dress, she could still feed her children. There are plenty things to do beside being a “rental unit” for sure. But well… that’s the fastest way to get money i guess.
And i kind of disagree with you about the self respect. The way i see it, she is a mother of two, working in bar, drunk, being with different guys night after night? doing what so ever the guys said for dollars..errhh or rupiahs? that’s what you call a self respect?
….. does she really even own her self ??Btw…. yeah, She didn’t ask you for money is a good thing…. for now.
Comment on “Dating Indonesian Girls”.
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INDO girls are beautiful…. I’ve just returned from bali which has changed my life because of an indonesian girl.
I met her in a (club) dancing in bali we had sex real good sex which I payed not much for. but after that she stayed with me for about 4 days which I didn’t pay for and she took me back to her place where I learnt a lot about her life!
She is a prostitute in bali who has two kids in java (10 hrs drive on motorbike ) wo are looked after by her mother, she works in bali to support them. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS AND IS BEING TRAPPED TO DO THIS TO SUPPORT HER FAMILY!!!! the c*nt father has no involvement any more.
I’m an engineering student and was discretely cautious of what was truthful and what not to start with as all men should be, not to get in over our heads! She msgs me every day and I think I love this girl but its hard when your 8 hours by plane away from her.
Advice for people with a loving nature don’t get too involved with indonesian girls unless you can support them, they have complex and intense lives not all by choice a lot want balance! You have to remember the good memories with her you had, and try your best to ignore when you know some grandpa creep just out of jail is about to do her doggy style! FCK ! Cigarettes honestly help me ha. đ
If anyone read this thank you terima kasih, I needed to get that off my chest. lol