Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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Damo says:
@ Lairedion
I hear you. I thought about that it is an injection into the Indonesian Economy no matter what she does with it but i would like to think that it is going to people who really need it. I know you guys can not tell me that but am just interested in other peoples experiences and insight in this area.
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@ Astrajingga
Are you saying saying that i should just donate the money and not be selfish and try to get something for the money. If yes good point but i am selfish and i like this girl.
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Roel says:
@Damo
In ideal case you should really start to invest. Set up a business with the lady and/or her family and make it work so 10 to 50 people can get a jobout of it.
When you reach 50 years of age you have something better than some old stock papers from a bank but a striving business abroad.If it does not work with this girl try to find one who is capable of running a good business.
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fullmoonflower says:
@ ET
ET Says:
May 16th, 2009 at 4:15 pm@ fullmoonflower
So, this is an evidence that not all bule has money tree…
Shhht! Be quiet. Don’t spoil the fun.
xixixixi…… 😆
but, it’s really fun to give the pip to you……
*peace* 😆
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Astrajingga says:
Because it means ‘not much’ to you, it means ‘not much’ to her either, nor to Indonesian economy anyway because she might spend it on expensive imported italian-branded clothing which was actually made by child-labour in Tanggerang.
One option is, I think, send more money, an amount that enough for you to feel that you’ve send something that means much to you. But you have to be careful, you have to make sure that it will be spent wisely. You have to know her family, learn the language they speak daily… in short, be more serious if you really like her and hope to be with her for a long time in the future.
If not, better to spend it in donating IM, injecting it somewhere else to Indonesian economy. Like donating an NGO who’s trying to save tropical rainforest. Make sure that this NGO has been scrutinized by public accountant.
All I’m saying, whatever you’re trying to do, boosting Indonesian economy, saving a girl’s life, or just securing your romance in the future, you should do it better, and more seriously. You can’t buy a lovely future from a vending machine.
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Oigal says:
Wow..nearly a page of “Oigal is” comments..dunno if I should be flattered or worried.,
Farah..for you (coz it is after all a dating page…and I we do have this thing going now..perhaps we have met at Blok M)
“he think i give a d*mn about colors.” I don’t know why or how you came to that but that was never the intention..My point was a minor aside that BULE, LONDO and the like is fair then so must be Chocolote and Indon. If anyone else thinks otherwise (not you Farah as you are fixated on me) I am happy to withdraw the offending comment.
Personally I don’t take offence (although I expect more from educated people of any colour). I do enjoy a good joust tho, but sorry not really all that comfortable trading sexual insults with a girl (in fact I did think of apologising for the chocolate ayam comment but upon reflection decided it was fairly mild) call me old fashioned (just old..hurts..but ain’t true..old soul perhaps).
Assmad, makes some good points and I must admit he has won a round or two.. although its sneaky to mix facts in with an obnoxious comment but so much harder to combat. Blok M, viagra insults are just way too easy to counter and become boring to all after awhile.
I have had many a royal battle with Assmad and people like Ross who generally at least are well read and a pain in the butt :-). The we have people like PN and others who are just laughing stock as their “facts” as so easly proven silly beyond words.
Some of the easy targets Assmad mentions are tough to defend or in some cases indefensible and that much better than telling someone to go play with themselves (although your under the desk reference really did display a lack of practice in the insult game..we call it leading with your chin …I really did have to bite my tongue with that one)For me the trick is to debate logic and positions with a degree of humour but rarely do I take insults personally but the danger is someone who does should not start something that may hurt in the long run).
Anyway..I have been called Malay, British, Indonesian, Male, Female, Old, Young, Pig (Oink), Gay,Communist, Nazi, and even ET and L’s alter ego so must be doing something right. So if you want to insult with effect not even sure where you could start.
On the subject of bars, yup.. I have been to most from Indonesian Yuppie heaven to the downright sleaze of Dolly (lasted one drink there, girls behind glass offends me..and guess what no bules) but its not a habit, I lead a pretty full sporting, work and family life. What’s more, reading through the threads here (not our little to n fro) I must be the lucky one as I have the very best of relationship where my lover is also my best friend (which explains the lack of bar need I guess but still love a cold one).
So I am happy to keep trading barbs with you (I know) but essentially we need to move beyond the one trick bule/chocolate, blok m insult ladder and into the more enteraining levels.
As for the Chinese Viagria.. I support local industry, the little lady comes around with the Jamu to make me Strong every two days (although I did note it was the same taste as the stuff that would prevent bird flu last week)
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did thought he never been to Sumatra, or meet fair skin pretty Sulawesi girls, or cute Kalimantan girls that looks like chinese rather than a sweet brown as he mentioned.
Tee..hee.. What would you like to know about two of the three places sayang (I have spent some time in third but modesty prevents me claiming expert status on that one).
Would you like to know about the Death Railway in Sumatra for instance (More Indonesians slaughered there than the more famous Thai Railway). Perhaps a bit of history and personal tour on some of the more famous sell-outs of the Sumatra People. Kalimantan, Perhaps a personal tour around there as well, visit some villages there that no longer exist and some very interesting stories (a smattering of Dayak lingo may be required although thats interesting due to number of variations).
Then lets trot across to Kupang..or perhaps “Kamu Sundai Mau P”.. easy trip from there to Atruo where we could visit the old “rape” camp so carefully ignored in the usual history lessons…hmmmmm..
In fact, if you want to lift this to the next level of debate..more than happy to compare your knowledge of your homeland and my adopted one.
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Lairedion says:
Oigal said:
Anyway..I have been called Malay, British, Indonesian, Male, Female, Old, Young, Pig (Oink), Gay,Communist, Nazi, and even ET and L’s alter ego so must be doing something right
If you have been called my alter ego then indeed you must be doing something right…..
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Achmad Sudarsono says:
So Oigal, do you have any advice on how to insult you more effectively ?
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ET says:
@ Farah
I would be happy if someone said” wow you’re skin so fair like a bule” i would take that as compliment
To be fair to Oigal you should be aware that the term bule or bulai actually means albino, which is some kind of genetic defect caused by the absence of melanin, the dark brown pigment normally present in the human skin, hair, and eyes that normally provides protective coloration and screens against the sun’s ultraviolet rays. So ‘brown’, which you find insulting, is actually the normal, healthy state while the term ‘bule’ or albino, which you deem conventional, defines an abnormality or disease. Maybe this is the reason some caucasian people, whose level of melanin is entirely normal for their environmental conditions, feel offended being referred to as such.
However people with strong personalities usually tend to psychologically convert insults into compliments and start using the originally insulting term on themselves with pride. This applies also to people of different colour. I’m sure Naomi Campbell wouldn’t be offended if I called her “my sweet brown chocolate”. Who knows, she might be pleased and reward me for my flattery. 😉 -
@ Damo
No offence taken. I undesrtand what you say about what i am doing with this girl encouraging other girls as i know they talk but if what she tells me is correct and her dad can not support the family with 5 girls in it what choices does the family really have?
My initial objection was directed at the fact that you are sending her much (for them) money but stll would allow her to go on with her ‘business’ as usual. With the money you are sending you could support her very well and there would still be enough left to share with the poor family. Or you could find other ways to help her family if this is important to you.
I know of a similar case like yours but the guy first made sure that the girl found another job and immediately quit working as a cewek kafe. -
@ Damo
On the other hand if you have money to burn you can always send it to me and I will surly find a way to make some poor girls happy. 🙂
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@ Seksi Pak ET Yth (though not as Seksi as Pak Patoengs), it is I, poet, ukulele player, pencak silat master and cabaret singer, who is the rightful one to make such women happy.
See earlier posts. (Link Please Seksi Pak Patoengs).
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btw, ET.,
I take back the earlier description of you as Seksi.
Read up on human evolution before you post such moronic comments about skin colour. Being a Bule is not a melanin deficiency you imbecile, it’s a reflection of the geographic history of that branch of the human family.
Skin pigmentation is one of hundreds of basic variables, a subset of thousands more. Melanin’s just the most obvious and evident to smaller minds who make an issue of it.
It’s as simple as this: cold climate = better to be white. Hot climate = better to be brown, black, or darker. But in any climate, human ingenuity’s always found a way to survive. It’s the stupidity that you’ve shown which is the real killer to DNA strains. Bring it on !
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Are you having a bad day, Achmad?
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diego says:
Achmad said:
So Oigal, do you have any advice on how to insult you more effectively?
Oigal said:
I have been to most from Indonesian Yuppie heaven to the downright sleaze of Dolly (lasted one drink there, girls behind glass offends me..and guess what no bules).
So, Achmad, there’s your clue.
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Yes gee Achmad what’s got into you, warming up for tomorrow with Ross? The link though, although I’m sure ET is very familiar with your oeuvre – https://indonesiamatters.com/author/achmad-sudarsono/
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Lairedion Says:
May 17th, 2009 at 8:38 pmAre you having a bad day, Achmad?
I think so, Kang…
I broke his ukulele last night…. hehehe…
I’m sorry, pakde…😀
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Odinius says:
What’s wrong with what Achmad said?
This:
Being a Bule is not a melanin deficiency you imbecile, it’s a reflection of the geographic history of that branch of the human family.
Skin pigmentation is one of hundreds of basic variables, a subset of thousands more. Melanin’s just the most obvious and evident to smaller minds who make an issue of it.
It’s as simple as this: cold climate = better to be white. Hot climate = better to be brown, black, or darker. But in any climate, human ingenuity’s always found a way to survive.
…is absolutely, 100% correct.
People who think phenotypical features are indicative of anything other that…phenotypical features…are downright ignorant of genetics.
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Odinius,
What’s normal about calling somebody “seksi” first and then a moron, a imbecile and stupid within the space of minutes?
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It’s Achmad, Lairedion. Did you read the guide to insulting Oigal? Par for the course.
Don’t know what prompted him to change ET from “seksi” to “moron,” but he’s absolutely correct on “race” being only skin-deep.
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Odinius,
We are all too familiar with his style. I was just responding to his, even for his standards, erratic behaviour and Patung agreed with that. Either he was warming up or genuinely angry with ET.
You jumped in on this race/pigment thing. But you know what? Never mind.
Today I read why bules are falling for Indonesian girls en masse. It’s the smiling.
Indonesia Masih Paling Murah Senyum
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Bit of a baffling reply, L. I simply pointed out that he does a lot of baiting, but also says some very intelligent things. The comments on race-as-bull**** are substantively much more interesting than whether he’s calling someone “seksi” or “moron.”
Is it a problem to call attention to them?
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Andy says:
Damo- I think she is a good girl and I do believe her. Should I? Any advice?
I believe her. Should i?
No you shouldn’t, she is laughing at you behind your back to her Indonesian lady friends probably calling you ‘bule gila’ amongst other things. And the more money you give to feed her habit the more she will continue to ask for more. Nothing will ever be enough. I’m guessing you have little experience with Indonesian women and not much of a lovelife back home. I don’t mean to put you down but you sound awfully naive. Word of advice-get out now, delete her number and get on with your life. It will end only in pain, and with a hole in your bank balance.
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Farah says:
@ Damo
Hehehe.. that would be really bad. Yes everyone is different. But hey.. you also state the exact same story (sad story about family etc). Different person, but exactly same way to get money.Send me your email address on PM forum ill give your email addresss to him. He live in Sydney btw, maybe you could even contact him. I think he would love to share that, to warn other good guys with good intention i think.
You shouldn’t paying anything to be with someone that you love. If she really love you, she wont go if you didn’t send her money. Just try to stop the money for a while and see whats her respond. If she does love you, that wont be a problem. Its just a small test. When you do this they usually will start the drama.
Hope everything will be okay for you tho, and you have an excellent skills to judge people, whether she will be the best for you or not.
We’re here to find our happiness anyway, and if you feel she could made you happy.. hehe just ignore what others said here or anywhere.
Go to small village in Java, Kalimantan, Sumatra or Sulawesi, buy them a set of computer for school, it worth less than USD 500, you will made more than 100 kids happy, at once, not EVERY MONTHS.
Hows that sound ?
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@ ET
Bule is albino ? eh? albino is albino.. bule is like..bule.. i know its very different.
If i see people with your described, genetic defect, we will call him albino not bule !If he got green or blue eyes, naaahh itu baru bule !
As if oinkgal call me brown, what ever, its not even close to me, i try to give him a clue what color i am, but he just can’t acept it, he could call me kuning langsat all the time instead brown. Its like if hes a caucasian and i call him brown too.. just not make sense at all (or he is color blind?). And naomi campbel is abrown sexy, you are very true, and she would be flattered if you call her her hot chocolate girl. But me, errrhhh call me brown, kuning langsat or green or blue… is it really that big deal??? its just one from other things to describe who i am, so it wont tell the whole personality after all.
Prefer with good green guy, or sweet purple guys rather a bad people.
@ OinkGAL
After “experience” in sumatra (i assumed north sumatra, or medan only), then why you think all indonesian women are dark brown?? or assume me have dark brown skin ??
Its like denying tigers had stripes ! -
@ Seksi Mr. Lairdes, Patoengs, Yth.,
@ Seksi Ibu Full Moon Flower Yth.,It’s true, Ibu FMF did break my favorite Ukulele. We were at the darkened Asmoro club in Blora. I was showing her some old Pete Townsend moves from the 1970s, the gigantic power wheel when you smash your ukulele.
In the darkness, and because I was dazzled by FMF’s great Melayu beauty (Va Va Voom !), I accidentally gave her my favorite piece, which had been signed by Rhoma Irama, and it was smashed.
Alas. I shall write a song about it.
As for the grumpy outburst, a smart 30-something woman I know told me she’d be taught in Indonesian high school that “mixing chromosomes between the races can lead to genetic defects, so best for Cina to stick to Cina, Melayu w melayu etc.”
Not seksi, Friend. ‘Specially with some of the shite around the region, like Singapore’s eugenics program…
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Pakde Achmad… I am sorry…
Tidak sengaja😕
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Ibu FMF Yth.,
Alas, your mesmerizing beauty was too much for this humble poet to bear. Like Soekarno, such are my weaknesses.
But, Seksi IM readers, poets need tragedy for creative inspiration.
Plus it was truly an inspiration seeing FMF smash that little ukulele like the destruction in the final battle of the Mahabharata !
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Exactly because 500 AUD is not much for you, that’s why it’s better no to keep her. I’ve seen too many cases as Farah has described.