Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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schmerly says:
Yellow Daisy.. I think you took my meaning of fun the wrong way, what I meant was fun in nicest possible way, they like to gossip and joke with you, and yes flirt, and that’s not just as you put it prostitutes I’m talking about all Indonesian girls.
BTW Dong, saya isteri wanita jawa. -
Yellow Daisy says:
schmerly,
my apology if i took your previous comment the wrong way. Alright, it should be “Istri saya orang/wanita jawa” š -
Farah..@ schmerly
hehe what a generalizationā¦. where you find them the most? bar? just really show your class.Do you think alll bules hang out in bars?? or do all Indonesian girls hang out in bars?? now your showing your class.
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Yellow Daisy..Thanks for the language lesson, I really don’t know how I’ve managed this long without it.
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Achmad Sudarsono says:
Pak/Ibu Schmerly Yth.,
You actually said “I am a Javanese wife,” hence my confusion at your gender.
Your Pancasila studies will fix such confusion.
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@Assmad..
You actually said āI am a Javanese wife,ā hence my confusion at your gender.
Yes who knows, all a bit of a mystery isn’t it?
I’ve already told you the Pancasila has been put to go use, hanging up on a nail in my toilet.
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Rob.. Very droll! The problem with having an Indonesian wife for a few years, and mostly talking in Indonesian, with a few bule words chucked in for good measure, you get sloppy talking and SMS’ing each other, because you can almost finish each others sentences off, it’s like a second language Indoenglish? mungkin!!
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Farah says:
Do you think alll bules hang out in bars?? or do all Indonesian girls hang out in bars?? now your showing your class.
Bule went to bars ? sorry, all bule i know, from university, from work, hang out in bars. Or at least they went to bar once (yes at least once) every time they visit indonesia. Sorry if i generalize bule base on my experience and what i know about bule.
…. Well thats the most easy place to find SEXY AND VERY FLIRTATIOUS girl, as far as i know none of my normal javanese educated university friends (from Jogja) as your description (made java girls sound.. errh.. wild? is that how you see them? hehe). They are polite and well mannered thats what i know. But, well.. hehe.. its you the one who have javanese wife.. and maybe she is sexy and VERY flirtatious (sound yummy). Every woman have their own appeal to certain men.
Sure i met them at university, not a bar, you tell me now if i am wrong. Do all indonesia hang out in bars ??? well don’t know mister, you should answer that your self, what do you think??? how often you went to bars here in indonesia?
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Cukurungan says:
Iāve already told you the Pancasila has been put to go use, hanging up on a nail in my toilet.
Pak Schmerly Yth,
You will never understand the Pancasila unless you start to improve your image and soften your stone head.
First , replace your gravatar with nicer one like doraemon or mikimouse because your current gravatar is too disgusting.. seem to me like a boy under sexual abuse…I hope that he is not depiction of your victimSecond, please wear Sarong and Peci like Pak ABB. OK Sirā¦
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Farah.. Are you talking about bar or bar/restaurant? if it’s a bar/restaurant, yes I do go when I’m in Indonesia and it’s not to pick up women, you’ll find if you socialised more in Jakarta a lot bule’s do just the same, admittedly there are bar/restaurant/discos where guy’s go to pick up girls, and not just bule’s Indonesians do the same, now don’t think I’m some kind of prude as when I first went to Indonesia I frequented these joint’s a lot, and had a whale of a time! but that was before.
You may not realise this but a lot of my bule friends met their now wives in some of these dodgy bars, and are happily married with children and living back in their respective country’s or still in Indonesia, whatever, don’t forget Farah most of these girls are not working in these bars out of choice, they are there to support the family back in the kampung, I’ve spoken to many girls over the years and all of them would’ve loved to have had an education so didn’t have to do the kind of work they do, as it’s not all a bed of roses.
as far as i know none of my normal javanese educated university friends (from Jogja) as your description (made java girls sound.. errh.. wild? is that how you see them? hehe).
No that’s not as I see them, I think Indonesian girls are just great, their beautiful, feminine, polite, charming, flirtatious in the nicest possible way
great fun to gossip to and share jokes with, the list is endless, I’ve always loved Indonesian girls from the day I first arrived in Jakarta, I can sit and watch them for ages, gossiping and joking with their friends, they are so fascinating to watch, there is just something about them, their whole “persona” for want of better word! and many of my bule friends agree, but don’t get me wrong their not all perfect there are some real bad ones out there to.You see Farah you can never see your lovely Indonesian women as bule’s do, as your looking through Indonesian eye’s, not bule’s.
Anyway that’s enough of my waffle, I just thought you should get my side of the story.
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@ Cukie.. Get something strait sunbeam Pancasila means nothing to me, so please stop your fatuous ramblings about it.
First , replace your gravatar with nicer one like doraemon or mikimouse because your current gravatar is too disgusting.. seem to me like a boy under sexual abuseā¦I hope that he is not depiction of your victim
The avatar stays OK, and when are going to stop going on about boys, as I’m beginning to doubt your sexual preferences, now run along and join your little friends in the numpty club, as I’m sure their all waiting to hold your hand.
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@ Cukie…BTW.
Second, please wear Sarong and Peci like Pak ABB. OK Sir
Why should I wear rags like these, I’m not some kampung goon, you pathetic little fairy you sure do talk some tripe.
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@ schmerly
Farah.. Are you talking about bar or bar/restaurant? if itās a bar/restaurant, yes I do go when Iām in Indonesia and itās not to pick up women, youāll find if you socialised more in Jakarta a lot buleās do just the same, admittedly there are bar/restaurant/discos where guyās go to pick up girls, and not just buleās Indonesians do the same, now donāt think Iām some kind of prude as when I first went to Indonesia I frequented these jointās a lot, and had a whale of a time! but that was before.
Yes its you not pick up girls, but as far as i know.. NOT ALL bule went there for buying some love.. for sure its the place where my expat friends pick up girls. Yes indonesia do that too. Sure you right. Im talking about the bule here, not the indo because this is dating indonesian girls (which i assume for expatriate). Yes i do think all bule went to bars, at least i am right about that.
You may not realise this but a lot of my bule friends met their now wives in some of these dodgy bars, and are happily married with children and living back in their respective countryās or still in Indonesia, whatever, donāt forget Farah most of these girls are not working in these bars out of choice, they are there to support the family back in the kampung, Iāve spoken to many girls over the years and all of them wouldāve loved to have had an education so didnāt have to do the kind of work they do, as itās not all a bed of roses.
Oh yesssss… i know you are saying the truth. Three of few expat guys here married woman from bar in jakarta, and some having relationship with them. Have baby, and move to Canada, United State or Australia. Some married, some just living together. I would say to those guys, they are do lucky find those woman who want to have their babies and having commitment with them.
One of them married with a girl from poor village in central java, he work with 28:28 schedule, just to find during his 28 days working she went with other guy (another expat) to Thailand, and its two different guys. He gave her money like 20 million a month, pay her university school (diploma), a house like a palace at her poor village, even giving her parent house too. And then he thought a baby would stop her doing so, they have this “in vitro” baby in singapore which cost him more money. And guest what ? she still do her “extracurricular”. Anyway thats just very bad bad example from my office expat.
Its not their choice, Its just bad luck….well …maybe. Lack of education, economical problems, etc. I don’t want to judge them…
FYI.. i pay for my sister university, doesn’t meant i have to sold my soul to the devil. Some of other friends here working with me are the same, its just our culture to support our parent or younger sister or brother. Almost the same every where not only in java.
What i am trying to say is… why you want to look up in not really good place, while you could find in other places?
Just sharing my thought….
No thatās not as I see them, I think Indonesian girls are just great, their beautiful, feminine, polite, charming, flirtatious in the nicest possible way
great fun to gossip to and share jokes with, the list is endless, Iāve always loved Indonesian girls from the day I first arrived in Jakarta, I can sit and watch them for ages, gossiping and joking with their friends, they are so fascinating to watch, there is just something about them, their whole āpersonaā for want of better word! and many of my bule friends agree, but donāt get me wrong their not all perfect there are some real bad ones out there to.You see Farah you can never see your lovely Indonesian women as buleās do, as your looking through Indonesian eyeās, not buleās.
Thank you very much, for saying that in more polite way š
I might will never understand the way you see us, because i am not one of you. But i am sure know that you right, were lovely in a “unique” way.
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ET says:
Now here is something completely different that has been puzzling me for ages.
What is this fascination of Indonesian girls/women about their handphones? They seem to be mesmerized by it. When they enter a cafƩ, warung, bar restaurant, whatever, first thing they do, for everyone to see, is take out the handy and start (pretending?) to phone or sms. It is so predictable that it almost seems a ritual. And they seem unable to take distance from their beloved gadget for even the slightest moment. Has it something to do with the fact that it can vibrate?
At the beginning I found this behaviour a bit curious and bewildering, but lately, since I regurlarly see them even sms-ing while driving a motorcycle, it is becoming downright ridiculous and irritating.
I think this would be a nice subject for a cultural anthropological study. -
Farah..
One of them married with a girl from poor village in central java, he work with 28:28 schedule, just to find during his 28 days working she went with other guy (another expat) to Thailand, and its two different guys. He gave her money like 20 million a month, pay her university school (diploma), a house like a palace at her poor village, even giving her parent house too. And then he thought a baby would stop her doing so, they have this āin vitroā baby in singapore which cost him more money. And guest what ? she still do her āextracurricularā. Anyway thats just very bad bad example from my office expat.
Yes I’ve seen that happen a few times, there are some bad girls out there.
FYI.. i pay for my sister university, doesnāt meant i have to sold my soul to the devil.
That’s good, but your lucky to have an education deh!
What i am trying to say isā¦ why you want to look up in not really good place, while you could find in other places?
It’s just for fun, don’t forget I was a bule slut at one time! so I can’t condemn other bule’s that like to play around.
But i am sure know that you right, were lovely in a āuniqueā way.
Yea benar dong.
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ET.. My wife is totally guilty of all the above! she’s got three SIM cards, one for Singapore, one for dirt cheap calls, and even some free calls to another village where some of her family live, and another one for her family in Jkt, and two phones to back it all up, so I’m hardened to it now, I’ve given up they just love to gossip! but it would good to see what other’s think about this subject.
Btw I think the whole of Asia is in love with the hand phone, Singaporeans, Filipinos, you name it.
When they enter a cafƩ, warung, bar restaurant, whatever, first thing they do, for everyone to see, is take out the handy and start (pretending?) to phone or sms. It is so predictable that it almost seems a ritual
Yea I think there may be a bit of BS, and some of them are just being sombong.
Has it something to do with the fact that it can vibrate?
That’s a thought?
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cinnamongirl says:
ET,
I have a business blackberry ( free from office ) and keep beeps all the time because of emails and messages from my boss also from other colleagues.
And it wont stop beeping even after 10pm as I am a personal assistant to managing director of 5 companies who has got business all over Indonesia.If I could stay away from this blackberry, I will be very happy .. but all is about job only.
And i don’t drive a motorcycle š as I hate it hehe …Note : To all bule (s) , best of luck to find a nice girl here in Indonesia
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@ schmerly
Thatās good, but your lucky to have an education deh!
Its not like its drop from heaven straight away, I earn the education, studying hard like nerd my self, i got the scholarship, i work hard for it as my parent not rich. Its not about being LUCKY. Its just the will. You want it, you work for it.
Even if your parent bloody rich, if you just don’t want the education, don’t have the will, you simply could become a moron with diploma in your hand (Sorry for the sarcasm).Itās just for fun, donāt forget I was a bule slut at one time! so I canāt condemn other buleās that like to play around.
…..and if your intention to play around like any other slut bule you just mentioned, don’t blame those girls (or whining) there if they turn the table and play around with you… its just as simple as it sound š š
@ ET
eeeewwww… some vibrating gadget eh ? hahaha !
Cellphone is a need like food, drink, and sleeping these days. Hehe.. i have two cellphones. One for office and another for my family need (none my colleagues know the number). If i went on days off ill turn off the office cellphone, and just use the “family” one, so none bother me while im not working.Sometimes i did that “sin” went to a cafe, restaurant, etc.. if i am by myself, i will get my self busy with my cellphone, browse if there’s wifi (freebies !!), send sms to friends/boyfriend to inform where you at, tell your sister/parent what time you will go back home (don’t lock the gate !), and so on (just examples). Also its just for passing times. Its better than sit around and stare people š
Text while on motorcycle? hehe just another proof that woman are multitasking and could use both side of their brain at the same time ?? hahahaha !! its very dangerous, concentrating with the traffic and text at the same time… hehe.. need special skills to do that (my CRAZY baby sister could text with two different cellphone at the same time with different text on each cellphones). There’s a lot of minor traffic accident involving woman, rather than man. But there’s more severe accident involving man rather than woman (i read it somewhere), i think its because man are much more speedy.
Write the book, i’ll read it (for a good laugh).. but its good thought tho..
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Farah..
ā¦..and if your intention to play around like any other slut bule you just mentioned, donāt blame those girls (or whining) there if they turn the table and play around with youā¦ its just as simple as it sound
Well I’m glad my slutting days are over.
(my CRAZY baby sister could text with two different cellphone at the same time with different text on each cellphones).
Fantastic!! I’d love to see that, cleaver girl LoL.
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Farah
Its better than sit around and stare people
It depends. Some like to stare, others like to be stared at.
I guess that explains it.
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@ schmerly
Well… u wont believe it until you see your self. Shes a social butterfly, lots friends, and can’t live without her cellphones. I can’t do that too…hehehe like i said, special skills..
@ ET
oh yes sure.. once a while if i get bored i love to stare at people. Especially good looking single guy who’s eating his lunch by him self, or watch pack of young girls expression and giggle with their friends, its fascinating to see people.. (im quite observant as much as im being “autism” with my own world).
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Farah..
Wellā¦ u wont believe it until you see your self. Shes a social butterfly, lots friends, and canāt live without her cellphones.
Good on her, she seems to be enjoying her life, I know a lot of people don’t like hand phones, and sometimes I find them annoying, but how did we ever live without them!! lets face it people love to gossip especially Indonesians LoL, and what an amazing invention that you can virtually speak or SMS to anybody from anywhere in the world, it’s a fantastic tool especially for the people who live in the kampung and can’t get a fixed phone line, my wife lives in Cirebon and has family members in Banten and Jkt, so it’s ideal for keeping in touch with all of them.
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reggie says:
Wow…! Just know that this topic of discussion is a REAL interesting thread š I know that different cultured relationship is a nice topic to talk about, but I got surprised to see that there are so many comments about relationships between caucasians and indonesians posted here š
Btw I’m a single Indonesian girl, Sumatra (Batak)-Manado-a little bit Chinese mixed (but I look so “Indonesian”), lives in West Java and have a simple question about “stranger”.
A friend of mine (Indonesian female, but she lived in German for most of her life. Now she lives and works in Indonesia) asked me to accompany her to meet her “male Russian chat-friend”. They chatted for about 1,5 years and now the Russian wants to visit Indonesia to meet my friend. She planned a trip to a tourism place (4-5 hours from my place by car) with this Russian guy this weekend. She needs a female Indonesian friend to go with on the trip (because she’s a good girl, and she won’t be allowed by her parents to go with some guy without any female friend). This Russian guy has a male Indonesian acquaintance who will be the driver on that journey (I and my friend know nothing about this Indonesian male). This tourism place is a beach which is quite far from the town (I and my friend live in the town), and it means that we have to stay there at the hotel, at least for one night.
My friend really begged me to join her and her chat-Russian friend (and the male Indonesian acquaintance) but I still feel unsecured to go with two complete strangers (one Russian, who my friend never met before, and the other one is the Indonesian male) and stay a night with these strangers (although we will stay in separated rooms for sure).
Any comments or suggestions? Thank you.
P.S.: My friend really counts on me (I’m her kinda-close-Indonesian friend since she lives in Indonesia) and instead of I ‘ve just caught a cold today, I’ve never visited the beach (actually I myself want to see this tourism area).
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>What is this fascination of Indonesian girls/women about their handphones? They seem to be mesmerized by it. When they enter a cafƩ, warung, bar restaurant, whatever, first thing they do, for everyone to see, is take out the handy and start (pretending?) to phone or sms. It is so predictable that it almost seems a ritual. And they seem unable to take distance from their beloved gadget for even the slightest moment. Has it something to do with the fact that it can vibrate?
Comment for this posting:
It’s valid not only for girls/women, but also for boys/men. Boys could stuck with their cellphones, too! Yup it’s interesting to make this “handphones addiction” as a research topic. However, I don’t think it is “very Indonesian/Asian”., and it’s nothing to do with “sombong” (cellphones is quite affordable nowadays) and that it can vibrate :)).
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Hi Reggie,
I think your friend is wise to have you come along with her to meet up with her chat friend. I would have done the same thing if i were her. I have a girlfriend who is single, she is 22. One day she met up with a guy she met online. I was kind of upset when she told me she went by herself. I was rather concerned, what if anything happen to her. Btw, my friend is an american girl and i am Indonesian.
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Roel says:
Reggie
Best is to be complete independent by transport
Or you go with your own car or make sure you have enough money to rent minibus so you can go another hotel at the other side of the town if you feel not 100%
Make sure before you enter the hotel to ask if they can arrange taxi/minibus 24 hours/day if needed. -
@ Yellow Daisy and Roel,
Thank you for your comments and advice. However, I asked some Indonesian friends and they said it’s kinda “strange” to go with two complete strangers. I myself have no problem to meet up with chatfriends if the meeting point is close to my place, I know the place well and many people are around (I did it many times). In this case, I don’t know anything about hotels or public transportation to get in/out from that place.
The problem here is that I don’t know anything about the beach and the surroundings (that’s the main reason why I feel unsecured), and we will be in a car for 5 hours trip with two people who we never met before (the car will be my friend’s parents’ car). In addition, my other friend said if I’m OK to do this plan, I have to be prepared to get “bored” [in Bahasa Indonesia: siap-siap bete deh lu…] (because there’s a probability that my friend has a “romance” or something like that with the Russian) and I can be “no-one” in the whole activity there. FYI, I’m 31 yo and my friend is about 33 yo, the Russian is about 34.
After asking some friends’ opinions and reading your comments posted here (and the fact that I’m still catching a cold), I come to a temporary-conclusion that I won’t join my friend on the trip (70% of conviction). Your future comment is still welcome though š [somehow if the plan is done, it’s kinda ‘adventurous’ :)]
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@ Reggie
I think you and your friend will be safe with that Russian guy. Gimanapun juga, ini “kampung kamu” kok.. you speak bahasa and hes not.In my crazy days back at my university time, i usually met with expat that traveling to indonesia with a friend or two. In places i never been before.
If you think its not safe, then trust your instinct. Always be prepare for anything. But don’t let your fear be an obstacles to met new friends that actually good.
If your friend say this guy is okay (in terms of NEVER talk or discuss about sex or anything related) then go with her.
If at the very beginning, your friends give him a sign, or talk about that then its not that russian guy fault if he start something that might scared you !
Kalo memang dari awal chat gak pernah nyinggung masalah yang aneh-aneh, bule biasanya jarang berani macam2 dinegara kita sendiri. Mana tau dia punya kenalan…hehe lumayan..An adventure or two is good for your life !
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Farah
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