Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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Farah says:
euuuhhh… i think this will never end…..
wheres KINCH? kind of missing him (her??) here… anyone know where he’s hiding ?
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Patrick says:
Indonesian Girls! Composed 10/21/08
I met a girl in Surabaya
She told me to come on give her a try a!
But it soon became clear she was a liar!
She loved all the guys as she was on fire
You got the money she was for hire
That girl had insatiable desireTook a plane back to Jakarta
Where the girls are so much smarter
They work hard all the day long
But at night is when they come on strong
Come on take a chance and take the money right out of your pants
Girls from Jakarta know the game of romanceFound myself in Medan
Met a girl from there who didn’t give a damn
Love me all night but all day all she wanted to do was fight
Treated me like I was a walking ATM
Took my all my money till I had none
Looked me in the eye and said hey bule we are doneHopped a boat to Bantam
Met a crazy girl there named Sam
Took me to my hotel for a wham bam thank you mam
Asked me to take her to the mall
She Left me there for some guy named Paul
Checked my pockets but no money even for a phone callFound myself in Bali
Introduced myself to a girl named Salley
Said she would be my personal guide
Guys let me tell you no kidding aside
That girl knew everyone and all the best places to go
It never occurred to me she was really a ho’(Chorus)
The girls of Indonesia love to dance! dance! dance!
Come on man take a chance! chance! chance!
Best girls in the world for romance
Just as long as you can pay! pay! pay!
Love you all night and play the rest of the day
Just as long as you can pay! pay! pay! -
@ All the Indonesian ladies – My lyrics above are meant to be “tongue and cheek” and yes I am guilty of stereotyping but as some one said on this site there is some truth to generalizations. Perhaps we bules are exposed to this type of woman much more than other people living in Indonesia because we are their very favorite target audience.
Just want you ladies to understand why many of us (bules) find it difficult to trust or take seriously an Indonesian woman. I honestly believe the vast majority of Indonesian women are not anything like the women depicted in my satirical song. Thanks for your kind understanding! -
oki says:
Hello Tia,
Nice story… get fall in love from internet. And you do right when decided to met him up in SG. More better and safe than you met him in his country.
Well… I can’t give any advice but I do prefer to talk about my experienced.
Such I ever wrote in last thread if someone who have any relationship with bule, she must be like to have sex before married. If once you (girls) met bule and can not do sex, he really won’t thinking about you anymore.
If you only just chat it is not really enough to know more about him. Sometime on cyber cam and the real the person will look different (not like as your imagine ).
I met some from messenger and adult website (but never with a married man). I already became member of that web for 3 years. I seen a lot of bule inside there with or without picture. Many of they are have very good looking, good occupation and of course good educated. But not only single, also many married men still like to find the other girl. Many of them very disgusting. But I do turn on the filtered for avoid nasty people. Even if that web specially for looking for sex (suka sama suka), but that web make me really worry to have bule for married. Because it’s like showing the other side of bule life.
Almost all bules very respected to all kind of girls. 99% of them don’t like to get any relationship with their colleague, co_worker or employee. Bule prefer looking for and flirt a girl who never they know it before. And no one of bules will be like to spent time together only for talk rubbish at lunch time or wherever without anything else…
I had broke my relationship with my first bule after we had together for 1 and half years we get to know each other because I can not tahan (I was expecting him to marry me). Even now I get new relationship again with other bule but only for the money (I really can not trust anymore for love).
Since I got first boyfriend in 17th years old, I always got a rich boyfriend. My first boyfriend is Indonesian old man 37 years old and a widow. He asli betawi who have many property in Jakarta. But he died before he can touch me. We had almost two years know each other but he never ever touch me even for the top of my hair, but he always gave whatever I want (I did it because he really crazy for me). Strange…?
Because of he really very respect my father even if my father more poor than him! And at that time also I still had not thinking about love and make love.
My bad thing to him is I can not cried when I saw his corpse when he death. But if he still alive… really I will can not avoid him to marry me. Like my father said to me, I already take many thing from him, love or not love I must accept him to marry me.
And it will be good if we still can heard and accepted whatever the father say… -
shawty says:
C..guys love indo girls..
even they being hurt many times..Anyway I wonder..is Patrick that ugly/ soooooo….unattractive ??
Then many indo girls just played trick on him..Macko! Thx for being realistic..”GIRLS AROUND THE WORLDS” rules..
Anyway I need your advice older man 😉
How can u be that old and single..
Don’t you ever feel alone?
Yeah you had kids..
But you never had complete family..
Isn’t it feel bit weird?Hmmm is that all attractive,old,brilliant man like you..
Well I see some like you around me..
but yah not yet your age….and :S sh*t now I feel crush on guy that 14 years older than me..
single, attractive, intelligence ! (cos I’m not yet reach his education/career level, cos I’m so young..) and no kids for sure ..
How about if he just another you?runnnnnnnnnn… 😉 hehe
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Purba Negoro says:
Demand dictates supply Patrick.
Simple economic theory- proven with bules and ayam. And not those suitable for egg harvesting either.
The Javanese and Batak think utterly nothing of Anglo-Celt.
Hence, a quality and I mean affluent or of a prominent noble or heroic family Javanese /Batak girl will seldom ever marry an Anglo-Celt.All women may marry beneath them, but the pembantu and ayam classes certainly take it far further than original intentions.
In Javanese we call it ampeh si londo- putting up with whitey- ampeh alluding to ampeyan- concubine. -
Andy says:
In Javanese we call it ampeh si londo- putting up with whitey- ampeh alluding to ampeyan- concubine.
Got to hand it to Purba, he does a great job proving to all everything I say about the javanese. Takers and opportunists are our javanese friends. Exactly why do you have to put up with us at all? Money, fame, better living conditions? Which one is it? Looking around at the Indonesian community here in Melbourne I haven’t seen anyone from the ‘ayam’ or ‘pembantu’ classes living here. Reason being they can’t get visas. All i’ve met are from the upper- middle classes.
As I stated previously on another thread, I actually admire the pembantu classes and think they would make good wives. It is only the cultural divide which prevents them from making the leap into western civilisation. Language, food etc. At least they can cook and iron a shirt. Having previously had an upper-middle class javanese woman, I know very few of them can do these things as they grow up with helpers etc. Why Purba, do you have to continually put down more than half the population of your country? The very people who nurture your economy by doing the bulk of the work for peanuts.
a quality and I mean affluent or of a prominent noble or heroic family
you mean one which lives on bribes and the sweat of others?
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Yeah..right andy..
I knew some lucky good indo girls here that marry with decent, young and brilliant bule..
She just borned in weak financially family..
And when I told her husband how lucky him to get her (she is great in cooking, take care house very well, now she able to speak english quite good as well because yeah she lives abroad for already some years) rather than other type of indonesian woman..
Because most of indonesian woman from middle upper grew up with helpers
cant cook and etc..He just shocked..
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Hi Shawty – I guess those remarks you said in your last posting were aimed at me? You wondered if I am so unattractive but yet you say I am so old? Do you know what I look like or not? You ask if I feel alone?
Actually, Shawty I am a very secure person so even if I ever feel lonely, it’s only for a very short period and then I will find something to do to occupy my mind rather than watch sinetrons and fantasize about life somewhere else all day long and then never do anything to attain it except to become a leach and suck the lifeblood out of some unsuspecting bule.
You can run from me or some other bule but you cannot run from your pathetic self can you Shawty? Besides, anyone named or nicknamed Shawty is definitely not my type so you know I won’t be chasing after you except maybe in one of your own day dreaming fantasies! Mimpi indah!
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Again I says I meet him in real life for the first time we meet not from cyber or chat.
We just use cyber only when we are far away in a long distance.
All of you says that was right.. and thanks it’s help me to get decission. -
@ PN – Just saw your remarks now and I must admit you are one funny man! Really enjoyed my laugh. I guess all those classes (Caste system?) you speak of are an idea left over from your Majash*t glory days and we both know those are days long gone and never to return. The Anglo-Celts we are doing well man and across the board. You don’t see our womanand in-mass, forced to sell themselves to the highest bidders because their familes needs them to earn money anyway they can and that usually means on their backs. I really feel sorry for those girls because truth is they never really had a chance being born into a country with little or no shame. You guys love to blame the bules for degrading your women but really you are the real experts at that game. Its a sorry state of affairs (pun intended) in Java and Mr. Patriot be a man and do something to help those girls or shut-up because I don’t want to hear it about it anymore.
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Andy
you confuse Chinese with Javanese.Ask the Rakyat who is the true exploiter.
Again Andy- are you after a wife or a “Mummy-Nanny-whore”
“At least they can cook and iron a shirt.”Then Andy morphs into Southern Plantation Massa Slave-owner:
“Having previously HAD an upper-middle class javanese woman”Andy forgets Indonesia has a had a female President, a female vice President, and a world-acclaimed female Minister of Economics- also the Corruiptor in Extremis and utterly incompetent Trade Minsiter Maria Pangestu.
USA, UK and Australia all lack the same cabinet position as Minister for Women’s Affairs and Empowerment- who is as a rule female.
How about USA or Australia?
Condi Rice- please. Better off Jerry Falwell.Patrick:
sorry, young man. Peasants do as Peasants do- look at your (many) flyover states, the Mid West and Texas. No one can beat them for utter provincial idiocy.I couldn’t hear you over all those Repo men at your door and the wails of Iraqi widows clutching their dead infants.
How’s Credit Crunch and your imploding Empire doing these days- along with the semi-intelligent Bush-Cheney ’04 bumper sticker demographic?
Atually- we do something to help thsoe women.
We were going to prohibit bules wth less than $50,000 New Amero Pesos (formerly US Dollars) from marrying them.Mail order brides are only for Thailand and Phillipines (Pattaya and Manila were once US naval sites to entertain vast quanta of seamen).
One remembers the US military slang for a Thai/Filippino girl: LBFM- Little Brown Fu#k Monkey.
Jungle bunnies?
Gooks- from US colonisation of Philippines- coined by US leathernecks?Go ask one of your rednecks in uniform. I refer to the US officer class.
Evidence once again of Anglo-Clet supremacism- the projection of superiority complex– go ask Tiger Woods’ Mamma-san- hopefully she’ll answer with something a little more impressive than her “Luv you long taaam- me so horney- I sayang-sayang you”.
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@ Pubra Negoro – Thats the style of writing I expect from you man and not that limp wristed whiny bull sh*t we’ve been witnessing of late. You sound like a man again!Welcome back!
P.s., a very funny read and I must admit good valid points for the most part.
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Ask the Rakyat who is the true exploiter.
I would but the ‘rakyat’ are clearly biased, you are a case in point. I hate repeating myself but the chinese are also the ‘rakyat’ as they have lived for generations in the country. The only true indigenous in Indonesia are almost extinct. The Javanese also crossed oceans to live there many moons ago.
We were going to prohibit bules wth less than $50,000 New Amero Pesos (formerly US Dollars) from marrying them.
Racial (and sexual) discrimination again, if Indonesian guys were subject to the same conditions most would be forced to remain single. And if they were required to do that to marry another culture they would go nutso in front of which ever embassy brought the rule in. Also i’m sure that $50,000 would somehow go missing into someone’s pocket.
Mail order brides are only for Thailand and Phillipines (Pattaya and Manila were once US naval sites to entertain vast quanta of seamen).
Funny how the economies of these countries are doing much better than Indonesia and attract far more tourists (not only sex tourists PN). Thailand is a modern clean organised country compared to Indonesia.
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World Bank
“Indonesia is the strongest and most stable political nation of the South East Asia region.”Ibu Menetri Ekonomi Sri Mulyani-
all-Asia Finance Minister championPatrick and Andy- more than welcome to join in drooling over her- we all do- especially when she pouts. It was the bikini contest requiring skillful asset management that pushed her head and shoulders over the competition
IMF:
The first five countries in terms of GDP-PPP will be the same as in 2007 — the US, China, Japan, India and Germany.
Russia will overtake Britain to become 6th raising its GDP-PPP to $2.28 trillion.Russia is moving up the list decisively as it had also passed France in 2006 to take 7 th
Currently 18th, Iran will also enjoy a rise in its place among the top 20 as it will move ahead of Australia to take the 17th ranking.
Turkey comes in just behind South Korea.
The world’s wealthiest people will be living in Qatar, where the per capita GDP-PPP will be $84,833 by the end of the year. It will be followed by Luxembourg ($83,456) and Norway ($55,452).
The IMF predictions further note that Indonesia will pass Turkey, leaving the latter in 16th place by 2011.
Indonesia has $906.7 billion in GDP-PPP but it will reach $1.16 trillion in GDP-PPP in three years, when Turkey will only have $1.15 trillion.
Brazil will become the eighth largest economy in 2013, surpassing France
South Korea will replace Canada to become the 13th largest economy.
The Netherlands is expected to drop out of the top 20 league this year,
Poland, currently 21st, will enter this group for the first time. ”True we hate the Yanks at times- but it is accurately only because of Clinton and Bush Jnr being stupid.
Under late Nixon, Ford, Reagan, Carter and Bush Snr- they were very good to us. They are still our number 2 DFI- and they hand out scholarships like lolliesYobboland was always a pain in the neck. Calwell, Menzies, Whitlam, Fraser, Hawke, Keating, and the worst of all John Coward.
Poor Yobboland. Just another shrimp to toss on the barbie.
A convenient hardware store for queer film, pig iron, uranium, coking coal and is’ most famous export low-quality cheap whine.
Australian whine noted for its’ pungent nasal qualities.Don’t the French consider the Californian and now even English wines to be far superior?
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Don’t the French consider the Californian and now even English wines to be far superior?
California wine has always been good but English-get real! Australian wine is fantastic. Can be cheap or expensive depends on what you’re after. Margaret River and the Barossa is the best in my opinion, right now enjoying a Hardy’s Cab Sav. Helps me to laugh more at the jokes I see on this site.
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I just dont understand why people in here look so nasty to indonesian girl and bule. Hey, we are human. It’s just our different culture and behaviour. No body’s perfect in this world. In our heart still have black and white felling…
Dont judge to indo girl or bule, pretend you look so perfect in this side.
Like me, Now it’s a big dilema for me…
I have cousin, she marry with dutch man and they have 15 years in they coupling. They still happy until present even they still cant get a baby. The man change religion to Islam and he still have a good relation with his wife family . They go to Makkah together to Naik Haji..
You see that, everything is not like your opinion about bule. Even my bule bf, I don’t care what people say about bule whit they streotype but it’s me .. me is me, maybe it sound like blind because love but i dont know i believe him… (it’s not like your thinks all)
I have different opinion about them, even our indonesian man they still have a weakness.
Many indonesian man is not perfect and not good they look so munafik and idiot when they says wow thats sin but you see all that happen with our goverment people that going some where to enjoy vacation with coruption money and do sex with whore….
And not all bule only think about sex, sex is sex…. thats the second things after love.
More indonesian man cruel with his wife kick her, push her to work to get more money for life… and many things…
But it’s not mean all indonesian man.
And For Indonesian girl, you know sometimes they dont have any choice to paint her life with smile in her face remember girl work in the bar. some bule think bad perseption with ind girl because they just meet whore and easy girl in his way because bule always come to the party and Dugem so they go to bar and pub easy for them to get that girl. It’s not all indonesian girl there. and not all indonesian girl can bule buy with they money. so please stop to be paranoid and negative perseption about them -
Haha..
Patrick 😉
You should read carefully..
The next question of my previous posting wasn’t for you..
I think I wrote a name and it’s not patrick…hahahaha
Question for you is only the 2nd 2 row lines..
I just want to know why those girls hurt you..
Why too many…Anyway Tia..
Trust me..!
I SEE MANY HAPPY MARRIED INDO BULE COUPLES here..
And they married for already 20 years , 10 years or even 5 years..
So if you have any brave and think you can follow your heart… -
Dita says:
Dear Tia,
I’m curious, you said that that Englishman offers you to be together with him ..
What kind of togetherness, if I may ask?
A marriage? Kumpul kebo?If it is marriage, can you live with peace in your heart, knowing that it’s against your religion? Or do you not give a damn about religion now?
If it is kumpul kebo .. well, need I say more?
And you said in your post: “how can we escape from this?”
Excuse me, but escape? Escape?Why, if that is your intention from the beginning, to escape, then why did you bother to ask for advices here at all? And tell all about your tale and act tragically??
So take a damn flight to a damn country and have done with it!
Geez, girl! -
Dear Shawty,
I was in love with a man who is 18 years older than I am, is married happily to a beautiful, dutiful, and loyal wife, has a sweet son and two adoring dogs.
So, I guess I am more entitled to scream out SH***TTT!!! back then 😀
Thank god that phase of my life is over *phew!*
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Dear Mr Macko,
that is your problem, Sir. You have been in Bali.
Even us native Indonesian who like to pretend that we are proper and noble
admit that Bali is no longer .. ah, wholesome.Maybe we should have never made Bali as our main tourism object ..
And, Indonesia has over than 17,000 islands.
Bali is just one of them.
So Mr Macko, why don’t travel to several of them, and see if ALL girls are the same?Looking forward to your journey reports.
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Dear Mr Patrick
(and all who act like they’re saints and think all Indonesian girls are tarts ), your heart is bleeding, and you’re splattering its blood all over the place.
get a grip.Has it ever occurred to you that we only meet with people you deserve?
Seagull flock with seagull, hyena flock with hyena.
Good people flock with good people, and thieves flock with thieves.And, if you always found yourself with an Indonesian money-thirsty b*tch all the time,
Be it in Surabaya, Jakarta, Medan, Bali, and so forth, don’t you think that there is a small, a fraction of a probability
That it was you who attracted them to come to you?
Because, oh, I don’t know, that you yourself have a male b*itch factor?gw bilang chat sama lo
Means “I said (I am) chatting with you”.
There. Now go and get a tissue, for crying out loud. -
Yth. Bapak Achmad Sudarsono,
forgive me,
I do not know any “seksi” song worthy enough to be strummed by your ukulele strings.Flattered as I am by your subtle, implicit compliment, I’d like to think that I am more romantic than “seksi”.
Thus, I humbly suggest that song Adam Sandler sang to Drew Barrymore in their film, 50 First Dates, with his ukulele, by the shore, with emphasis on my favourite line of lyrics: “when you beat the sh*t out of Ula with a whack”.Add a glass of iced Teh Poci , it will be just perfect. 😉
(though I must say that I prefer Teh Gopek, with stronger flavour of tea).Hope this will find you in good health,
Sincerely,
Dita.PS. please don’t call me “Mbak”. I am not that old, you know.
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@ Dita – It’s just a made up lyrics that I wrote from various characters I observed or were told about when I was living in Indonesia. In other words these women in the poem are composites and therefore by definition are not real. Most of the people I knew in Indonesia were very respectful and that includes my former wife and her family. This particular thread on IM allows a place for me to vent a little and from that perspective it is quite healthy. You will notice that after the lyrics I posted again and explained that did not represent the majority of Indonesian women. My purpose was not to hurt anyone or defame Indonesian women as a whole but to give insight to some of the ladies that TARGET bules. Believe me when I say that an inexperienced bule walking into Bats, CJs, Stix or any of the dozens of clubs scattered around Jakarta has no idea what he is up against!
If you want to know my problem with the ex it was religion. She is Muslim and I am not! Before we married I asked her to think about this very hard and she said she will accept me as her husband even if I am not Muslim. Unfortunately, she changed her mind (after marriage) and insisted that I become Muslim if we are to have children. I respectfully declined and that was when the breakup occurred.
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jawa asli says:
Friends,
I think the problem is that most bules go straight to bars when they visit places in indonesia. Those places are hooker pools.
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Jawa Asli,
TELL THEM THAT!!!
VERY TRUE INDEED!!
I COULDN’T AGREE MORE!!!
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kinch says:
@farah – always here for you – more so after i’ve eaten durian, of course. how’s life treating you lately?
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I have just found this fascinating thread. Interesting and very informative about the many very different points of view from Caucasians and Indonesians alike. I don’t use the term Bules I haven’t yet heard a full translation. Is it the same as the word for Caucasians in Hawaii, Hoali? The word means a man without soul. Or is it a little more kinder than that.
I don’t blame the Hawaiians for calling us that. We did terrible damage to the Hawaiian culture and are still trying to exploit them. I married into the Hawaiian culture, was with my wife for twenty five years until we agreed to separate and still care for our two daughters and run our business together. I am back in smelly, dirty and quite dangerous Britain and not liking it one bit. Looking for a kinder place in which to live. My two daughters are coming to visit me in November and they are not happy living and working in the States so they want to live with me in a kinder and gentler culture. So they tell me, they can find a greater selection of kindly men to marry.
So far, and I have been visiting and living in many cultures including Bali and Thailand I still find that for me the Polynesian way of life is by far the best. Bali comes very close. But there are many things which mitigate against my being comfortable there. So I will probably end up in Tahiti or Western Samoa or wherever my skills and contributions are welcome. And my daughters too. They are of mixed race and they encounter hostility wherever they go because of that. Britain would be quite impossible for them to thrive there.
I have noticed on this thread quite a lot of comments about the differences between cultures and how that makes for difficulties between women and men. If I may be so bold as to suggest some remedies, it is that of compromise. I do not understand the Asian attitude to life. Although I was married to a part Asian/ part Hawaiian it still remains a mystery to me as I suspect Western ways do to the Asian peoples, yet I think that our only hope for our species as a whole is to intermarry, copulate together, love cherish and obey each other equally until our skins and behaviors are so alike that we can no longer want to hate or persecute another because of the color of their skins, their religion or any of the other distances which at present we seize upon as a mean of satisfying our sexual and other frustrations.
After all why do we Westerners so desperately try to ape the brown colored races by risking cancer by sitting in the sun for hours on end? And what about the brown colored races who try to ape the Western cultures by staying out of the sun so that they can boast of how white they are? How ridiculous can you get?
Why is it so important for so many people for a man to be wealthy and dominant? Such a man apart from inherited wealth has usually been so busy acquiring his wealth that he has had no time to develop as a really human being.
Just some ramblings of an old fart of a Brit!
Rayner -
Rayner, bule means “albino”, there was a discussion on whether it is derogatory on the Jalan Jaksa page.
Comment on “Dating Indonesian Girls”.
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@ Tia
Like i ever post before… in this website somewhere….
White, black, brown, yellow, etc… i only generalize in to two… gentleman and a jerk.
My ex american bf, sent me a 1.5 meter high teddy bear for my birthday, right from usa to indonesia, the cost of sending it might more expensive than the teddy bear it self.
We met, chat, web cams, send mails, calling via phone, engaged for 4 years. Broke up 4 days before valentine, after he sent me a huge valentine card say “my love much bigger than this card for sure” (rolling my eyes now !!).
He just a student, working 3 different jobs. More sacrifice for him to get here. He went here first time as exchange students. And two times after that just to see me, not for work, or vacation.
I know what you’re talking about ! thats why i said these bule could made our world stumble upside down… none ever treat me like that before, and…its wow…….so sweet !! (even after my heart broken into pieces, its still stupidly sweet)
So.. few months? re-think again sist ! maybe you should read blogs about indonesian woman who married expat or bule. Know more about the after marriage life, or what is it feels like to life with them.
Not being so cynical… its just you need to know this guy more, seriously. Theres too much difference to overcome.
And theres a child involved too…. what do you want to teach to your daughter when she grow up ? what she should believe then ? what future she will have? will you give her a real father or… just temporary subtitle dad which going to hurt her in future.
Arranged marriage.. its so… out dated. If you can’t stand on your own, how do you think you will survive out there alone in other country just with someone that you just know few months ?
Life is about choice. And as far as i could see you had more options than to choose arranged marriage from your father or be someone with unknown future.
Be strong, use your head and believe what your heart say… one more thing, don’t ever regret it.