Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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Farah says:
@ Shawty
Thats the first thing why i use the word “most” refer to indonesian, not all indonesian guys as we called narrow minded. I have a very good indonesian dad, open minded one.I am still open for local as a friend. They are good at that one, based on my experience.
Maybe if i did find someone like you said; respect my family, accept who i am, with my light brown skin, my witty, my straight talking, my boyish daring ‘attitude’, or simply my root as sumatra girl (most of javanese parents don’t like the idea of sumatra girl, my friends also are prove of this), no over doing “bibit bebet bobot” (i think its good for standard, but no if its too much ’cause nobody perfect!).
When its just simply between me and him-like what i have with western guy. No family related issue, no education or work, no matter how short/color my hair is, or how lame my nasi goreng is, etc. I will consider that person.
Infact that would be less fuss with local no issue about visa, nationality or PR at the end of it-sure i would embrace the idea of having local bf or husband if we think about that.
Its about preference once again.. like others said.
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theonlyme says:
@mezzaluna: hahaha…where is kemang? i rarely go to jakarta anyway.. yeah im depressed to get a bule because im tired to see all the chinese faces and indonesian faces here in Bandung 😛
@Riniss: maybe we should hang out in Kemang together??? hahahahahaha *wink*
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brian astaga says:
I have Just returned home,,, after my holiday to bali.
what an experience!!!!! I have learnt a lot about my girl. I definately love her very much. She is definately the most beutiful person I have met and has a beutiful family and life in indonesia. Java banyuwangi was an interesting . Being constantly looked at and followed by herds of children whenever in public 😛 and i seemed to be the only white person for miles. Definately wish I learnt some javanese language before 🙁 I used to laugh when people sugested finding a women in a place like the mall or cafe,,, I now understand that cafe in indonesia are much much different to australia with kareoke etc. Also the women working in the malls love to chat.hmmm I have many many things to think about what I am going to do with my girl. Things are still the same between us, but now I understand her much more I have less confusion with her which is great.
sayang banyak………
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mezzaluna says:
@theonlyme u sound like a bule catcher now! well kemang is pretty well known here, google is ready 24/7 to show you where exactly it is. lol
@brian astaga was suprised when i saw ur nick there, got exactly the same name as my bf! 😛 without astaga of course.
anyway glad to hear that ure certain with ur gf, hope everything goes well between you two 😉
guess this forum is becoming “tempat curhat”now x) -
sayang banyak………
sayang banget you meant ? 😛
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riniss says:
Ah,lol!tmpat curhat.but it is ok,rite?we can share stories,rite?lol.
So,brian,goodluck with ur gf.btw,i’ve been in banyuwangi.lived there for a year.a very nice small city.
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@ mezzaluna
tempat curhat
ha ha I have shared my story with this forum since I first met my girl about 3 months ago, so I thought I would let people know how it went… 😛 if they care at all who knows ? 🙂
@riniss
its a big area banyuwangi rite? anyway I dont really know if bule ….or to be more exact me are really welcome in the area which I was…. some people ran to the shop to buy beers for me, and others really didnt want me there which was obvious 🙁 actually felt quite scared in one situation in public at night.wow what an interesting part of the world bali and java, some beutifull scenery and lovely people especially her family very giving and welcoming. but such a big contrast to my country, I dont know whether my girl would like it here, and sama sama for me :S
ok thats enough of my story sharing lol. but I ask indonesians on here, especially people from a place where no bules are seen at all in indonesia, how are bules seen to the public and are they really welcome there? because I recieved some confusing looks, some good some bad ?????????
sayang banget banyak 🙂
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biko says:
To theonlyme
Bule in Bandung lol
maybe if you want we can catch up in bandung, live there now for 1/2 year
just for a dinner/talk no expectations…. -
Nyonya Oz says:
Dear all…
For almost a week finally I fully finished to read all the pros and cons posts and to be honest I am very fascinated. The hot discussions, steamy arguments, the insults, the humors,and the morals, how I enjoyed and keep me entertained for the past week. I would be more than happy to share my own experience regarding this matter, but before I start, I would like to ask Patung as a moderator
Dear Patung…
I am one of your silent reader, currently living in Australia, and for the past two and a half years, I am also active writing articles in one of on line community Koki Kolom Kita and so far I have been writing more than 150 articles, and been published on line, since this site especially this topic give me much impression, come a cross in my mind that I am planning to write article based on this discussion, I humbly ask your permission to pick here and there some ideas based on these discussions and arguments and of course I would not mention any name, but simply to summarize the main idea about dating Indonesian girls in bule’s perspective. Somehow, It’s really touching me after reading all the happy and the sad ends. I am happy for those who have a happy ending sory and my deepest sympathy goes to the sad ones…
Looking forward to yr response asap.
*Farah : two thumbs up for you , you go girl, and best of the best.
*Brian : hope for the best for U mate and good luck…About myself.
My husband is an ordinary Aussie bloke that I adore and love so much, and we have been marriage for more than 8 years. I met him through pan pals dating agency. After searching for Mr. Right for such quite long time finally I came across an advertisement in one of national newspaper. After two deeply broken hearts with two local guys , I simply tried my luck by pushing myself to join an agency for pen pals and possibly marriage prospect. I was and am a devout muslim and observe my religion dutifully for the whole of my entire life. To put simply, like typical devout muslim I pray five times, wearing jilbab, observe ramadhan and certainly never grog my self a single drop alcohol and keep my virginity so well. By putting myself in International agency and advertising to be available for pen pal and might be look for a serious partner with surely in my mind I am ready that whoever is interested in me are bule. With full of trepidation and stereotype of bule (permissive culture, alcohol, and might be anti islam) I simply tried my luck and have a go.
To my delight and surprise there came to reply form a an Aussie bloke, (a divorced with two kids) who happened to be also look for a wife who still has traditional value and stick on her root and it would be a bonus if she is a religious one no matter what kind of religion she might has. In no record time, we hit each other, oh yes he is 15 years my senior, and again to my surprise he wouldn’t back off knowing that I am a ‘religious’ freak to say the least. From the beginning before we finally met for the first time, I made my self clear stated that as a practicing muslim, I would not commit a pre-marital sex, and would not go to the bar and any kind of so the called western culture, simply not my cup a tea, and to my relief, my boy friend turns out, free from alcohol and religious himself in his own way, he is a thinker and sometime even thinks too much and slow to act hahahhahaa…. and wouldn’t t hang around in a bar or pub just for fun but he prefers read a lot. bingo….that my kind of guy…!
To make a long story short, after having a good correspondences by faxes and endless phone calls after our first meeting. Came to his wonderful proposal. He downed his knees and asked my hand to marry him and which my response was : I will be glad to. We had not met each other before but the first time my eyes set on him, I felt like I found my other half that I searched for a long time, and according to him, ditto. Oh yes, our first meeting ran very well and he stayed at our family house same with myself but we slept in different room, my big family insisted him to stay with us in purpose to get a long with him and know him better what kind of bule I was dating. To their relief nothing happened between us a part from load of compliments and adulation, no money talked either. I was and am independent woman with not so high education but I think smart enough no to fall in a trap.
Five months after our first encounter, we got married and he converted to Islam in which he never regrets it. Though he still needs learn a lot. And till this day, I am proudly say still a practicing Muslim and dutifully pray five times and fasting during Ramadhan. I find no problem at all, my peers and friends and co workers are very supportive. And wearing a little scarft in daily basis to cover my hair, and he has no objection at all my my decision. And now after 8 years marriage, we still adore each other and fire up our marriage life with endless humor, we believe humor is a strongest glue in marriage. An one more thing, since my self have a job we believe and compromise that all household expenses will be shared between us, fair enough , I am happy to contribute my family after all and most of all I am financially independent and never ask a single dollar to contribute if I want to buy good stuffs (branded goodies for ex), and so far….I am enjoying my life and frankly I start to love my adopted country albeit sometime still missing my mum’s sambel goreng and hawker nasi uduk, but in the end….being afar from the comfort of easy delicious Indonesian food, I learn myself to be a good cook….so who miss sambel goreng and nasi uduk now when you can make yourself..??
My point is : everyone has a different experience some good some not…but that’s life, sometime is not really fair for some….
thank You very much for reading…and have a nice day for everyone.
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Hmmm more girls opinion here… as long as its about dating indonesian girl related thing i think its ok to curhat sedikit 😀
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Looking forward to yr response asap.
Ok, try to include a link back to this post though. 🙂
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Dear Patung
No worries…still bit confused whether write in English or Bahasa…any suggestion? and I will be glad to inform U when is published…Thanks a lot
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deta says:
Wow… I hope there are more and more Indo women like you, Nyonya Oz! 😀
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*deta : thanks a lot..hope for the best for you too..there is no impossibility in life…good luck.
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@ Nyonya Oz
It always bring me more believes in possibilities to have happy future with western guy every time i read story/experiences like yours. Possibilities of living and be happy with someone from completely different cultures, belief or background, just simply based on idea to made person you love to be happy with you… naive but .. its happen.Always been on my pray to have my own happy story like yours or any one else here who had similar story… hehehe mine not over yet.. i am still in state of “searching the right Mr Bule”.
Thanks for sharing your story here !
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Dear nyonya oz,thats good story of u..nothing impossible,yea ur rite.i hope ill find nice bule husband someday…*or any nice bules here who wanted to be my future husband?lol.jk*
N nyonya,after brian,i want to ‘curhat’ about people’s opinion that bugged me about i want to have bule husband to scam bule n get lots of money.y people always thinking about that?i was so mad.what du think about that opinion nyonya?N brian,indonesia has lots of beautiful place!
In a place where bule rarely to be seen *like in my office,lol* they sometimes give confusing look.because have no idea how to speak with bule.thats all.some give an evil look,maybe they are jealous.lik “omg,why this bule is more handsome than me?”*lol*
Peace brian.n goodluck with ur gf.dont forget to tell us here,if u r getting married…*wink*Rinisslovesjokingandbule
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sorry.my bad.it is hard to typing words with my not-smart phone.LOL.
so my english looks *even* worst.:P*shame on me*:P
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@ riniss
In a place where bule rarely to be seen *like in my office,lol* they sometimes give confusing look.because have no idea how to speak with bule.thats all.some give an evil look,maybe they are jealous.lik “omg,why this bule is more handsome than me?”*lol*
Some people just can’t accept differences in people preference or simply had bad stigma in dating Mr Bule. Even in office with lots of bule like mine, we had more than 20 expat workers, still if people know you are dating one of the bule they will put bad labels to you, whether you are a gold digger, or you simply cheap, or had big sex drive, anything related to negative things.
In Bali, when i am traveling with one bule from Oz due to its cheaper when you share things during the traveling (backpacker things hehe) most of time, if i want to pay my own/personal bills like when we did our lunch, or when i buy somethings like cute silver necklace they will ask with those face “why do you have to pay for it? why don’t you ask your GUEST to pay for it” it made me really upset. But what ever, i don’t need to explain it.
Yeppp… even walking with them on public street we are already labeled as hooker… and its Bali, where there are plenty of bule !!
Let them think or say what so ever, you do what made you happy, don’t let them made you feel bad about it, or even worse, feel sorry for your self !
….. Just my opinion ….
@ Brian
Sayang banyak? hehe are you trying to say “lots of love?” -
Yes farah.i was upset when people thought bad on me if i have bule *even just a friend* to talk in public area..hey farah,if u have spare time maybe we can hang out together.n i bet ur nice..dont worry,im straight.i love to have friends.hehe
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Riniss
Sure, ill PM you for details, i wont mind hanging out with you even with.. errhhh not straight one 🙂 people preference.. once again.. -
devilkitty says:
hmmmm… i wish i could say the same about Javanese men, but honestly im bored of our men.. i like Chinese, Korean, White, or Japanese so much better cos i think pale skin guys are sexy & extremely exotic.. the more dead pale the hotter the dream of most Indonesian men) so im nothing to miss out for them.
what the hell ? o_O
i said “im obviously none of Javanese men’s type either (light skinned, skinny, feminim girls the dream of most Indonesian men) so im nothing to miss out for them.” -
*It always bring me more believes in possibilities to have happy future with western guy every time i read story/experiences like yours. Possibilities of living and be happy with someone from completely different cultures, belief or background, just simply based on idea to made person you love to be happy with you… naive but .. its happen.
* Dear nyonya oz,thats good story of u..nothing impossible,yea ur rite.i hope ill find nice bule husband someday…
*Farah and Riniss : stand to what you believe and keep the faith….good luck girl and never give up there are alot of good guys out there.
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hipbone_slim says:
I have a question for anyone in the discussion group. I met a girl from Jakarta online and she wants me to visit her so we can celebrate the New Year at Red Square, and take a trip to Jogja early in the New Year. Am I crazy to be considering this, since we have only just met? (I met her through the Thai Kisses website) She says she does not want to be alone at this time of year. I am a bit concerned about going to Jakarta with no other contact person in the event that this turns bad. She says I have nothing to worry about, she is a bad girl, not a bad person. She is 22; I am 47, though I do look younger than that. Thanks for any advice and input.
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ET says:
@ brian astaga
because I recieved some confusing looks, some good some bad ?????????
Were you alone at that time or in the company of your gf?
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simple, hipbone_slim..:)
first of all, are u ok with that girl who said she is a bad girl, not a bad person?
if yes, so go and meet ur online girl then…:)
second of all, if u feel ok with that girl, u wont care about much different between ur and her ages. -
I am ok with the “i’m a bad girl, not a bad person” thing. I am just nervous about trusting a stranger that much, I guess. I can think of a lot of bad scenarios that could happen. When I have gone to meet women in the past in foreign countries, I have always had a contact in the country in the event that I needed assistance. (Philippines, Ukraine) Maybe I am just being a coward. On the other hand, it could be so much fun…the big New Year party, the trip to Jogja, all the opportunities for new experiences in a new country. I guess I have a few more days to think about it, as I cannot book the trip until I get back to Canada. (I am in Texas right now..working…long distance truck driver) Thanks for the input Riniss
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Welcome.have nice trip to jogja,my hometown..hehe
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She says I have nothing to worry about, she is a bad girl, not a bad person. She is 22; I am 47, though I do look younger than that. Thanks for any advice and input.
Bad girls in term of she did all “naughty stuff”, but she doesn’t mean no harm. If you are ok for fun, go head, maybe it went as good as Brian there.
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I guess my worry is that I will spend most of my savings and it will not go well, mostly because we have only chatted online for maybe 7 hours. I guess it comes down to weighing the risk-reward ratio. She is gorgeous, so the reward is definitely high, but knowing so little about her and your country (though i have been cramming) makes the risk a bit high, as well. I still have a little time to think it over…can’t talk to her now, as she is in Bali with a friend for the weekend.
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@shawty poor you ure not as lucky to get one like i have!