Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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Lairedion says:
Achmad,
True about the mixing chromosomes crap. Indonesians just love Eurasians like me. Farah can confirm this.
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Damo says:
@ Farah
The difficulty for me is that I would not say that I Love her and i doubt that she loves me as we have only been together for 9 days . But i do like her and think maybe she likes me. Becasue i like her i want to help her and her family. By helping her with money i hope it may prove to her that i like her and want what is best for her. By doing so it may or may not lead to a more seriouse relationship (maybe not).
I like the idea about buying a computer for the kids and maybe when i am in Jakarta to meet her family we can both go for a drive and she can show me around her country and help me find a worthy recipient.
As for listening to the others on this web site. Everyone has there own opinions and thats what i asked for, so please keep them coming good, bad or otherwise.
Time will tell. Wish me luck.It sounds like i will need it.
Regards
Damo -
@ Andy
What does ‘Bule gila’mean?
I dont have girlfriend at home but i have had some experience with Australian girls in the past and found that in general they would rather be with guys that have money than guys that dont so there is some similarities there.
Thanks for your advice and concern (i asked for it) and i would say chances are that you are correct. But i think i am going to take a chance with this girl because i believe that she does not want to go with many men for money. She is never saying she loves me. In fact she says “you effection, me money” and untill i meet her in Jakarta and spend some more time with her i dont think i will know.
I must say, yes i feel very naive but i also like to give people the benefit of the doubt and think people are basically good. Innocent untill proven guilty, because if i dont i dont give our friendship a chance to go anywhere.
Anyway i appreciate your advice as it makes me more open to the possabilities and hopefully will decrease the potential for pain. The hole in the bank balance is another thing.
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ET says:
@ Achmad Sudarsono, who thinks he’s seksi
Read up on human evolution before you post such moronic comments about skin colour. Being a Bule is not a melanin deficiency you imbecile, itâs a reflection of the geographic history of that branch of the human family.
If bule is caucasian then it isn’t a deficiency but being an albino certainly is. That was exactly the point I was making. Maybe you should reread my post. Btw, I borrowed the content from Encyclopedia Britannica. Check it out. Glad to hear that they are also morons or politically not correct. It means I’m in good company.
Itâs as simple as this: cold climate = better to be white. Hot climate = better to be brown, black, or darker. But in any climate, human ingenuityâs always found a way to survive. Itâs the stupidity that youâve shown which is the real killer to DNA strains. Bring it on !
I said
Maybe this is the reason some caucasian people, whose level of melanin is entirely normal for their environmental conditions, feel offended being referred to as such.
level of melanin entirely normal for the environmental conditions or cold climate = better to be be white, hot climate = better to be brown, black or darker. I fail to see the difference. It’s exactly the same what I said. Shouldn’t you better come of your high horse and take a reading course?
Btw, I also see you get support from the PC (politically correct) camp. Good for you.
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Odinius says:
ET said:
Btw, I also see you get support from the PC (politically correct) camp. Good for you.
Dear Mr. T,
Please let me help you with your typographical errors.
Btw, I also see you get support from the HADTHW (has actually done their homework) camp. Good for you.
Warm Regards,
Mr. O.
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Achmad Sudarsono says:
ET,
If that’s what you said, fair enough.
But I usually switch off if the posts aren’t crisp or well-written. Plus, I have to get in training for the insult-a-thon with Ross. As for the PC crowd, dunno what you mean. We’re talking science.
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I assume he means me, Achmad, since I’m the only one who actually agreed with what you said about “race.”
If that’s the case, first time I’ve ever been called a “crowd.” đ
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Astrajingga says:
Damo, you’re a good guy yet so green, IMHO.
I won’t say much as other has given their thoughtful opinion as well. I just want to give my fifty cents: “The worst thing ever happened in the history sometimes came out of the best intention.”
Or my brother’s: “Are you blind or plainly idiot? Don’t you realize it when you saw her stand-pissing behind a tree? Yes, I know you didn’t see the thing but what did you imagine she was holding and directing? Ever you imagine how a gi…”
Oh okay, let’s stop there, my brother was unstoppably ranting at me that night, I could barely remember the whole detail, he mentioned ‘silicon’ which I didn’t get it back then, when I was 16. Anyway, it was too personal, it may be applicable solely for my stupidity. But I learn from my mistake, at least, not to fall in love with a wrong girl again, or not so girl, I have to say.
As for ‘bule gila’, it means ‘crazy albino’ or ‘crazy pale-skinned’ or ‘crazy-foreigner’ or ‘dang! my corn plantation is infected by those disease again! dasar, bule gila! Amit-amit jabang bayi… bule gila!’ or something like it. It’s a complicated story it takes three days and two nights to be fully told, etimology-wise, for a start. But I want to keep my promise that I won’t say much.
There’re hundred other ways to win a girl’s effection, brother. I hope the best for your future life with the girl, in whose heart your love will blossom flourishingly. Amen.
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Maybe you should reread my post. Btw, I borrowed the content from Encyclopedia Britannica. Check it out.
Ugh, I hate that, in your own words is better, like timdog said once, digest it first, then er, bring it up here.
As for the PC crowd, dunno what you mean. Weâre talking science.
But there are disagreements about the race thing, on one side you’ve got the scientists who might shout ‘racist’ at the other side, on the other side you’ve got the scientists who might shout ‘PC’ at the others, they’re all shouting…remember James Watson and his oops moment about Africans and intelligence?
…….I might end up moving some of this to a separate thread.
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Patung said:
But there are disagreements about the race thing, on one side youâve got the scientists who might shout âracistâ at the other side, on the other side youâve got the scientists who might shout âPCâ at the others, theyâre all shoutingâŚremember James Watson and his oops moment about Africans and intelligence?
âŚâŚ.I might end up moving some of this to a separate thread.
Yeah, you might want to make it a separate thread.
But while we’re here, it’s important I think to separate two concepts: race-as-objective reality and race-as-subjective-reality.
The former is simply not scientific. Tests have, over and over, found no significant correlation between things like intelligence and the alleles that determine phenotypical features such as skin color, eye shape, etc. At the same time, any geneticist will tell you that there is far more overall genetic variation within so-called racial groups than there is among them.
At the same time, “race” is historically constructed, so has a practical reality in a lot of places. The racial segregation in the US, deriving from the practice of slavery, and reinforced by segregation and then just be settlement patterns, has produced cultural difference, as well as serious differences in terms of material wealth and opportunities. This isn’t because of anything inherent in skin color, but because of the legacy of people differentiating people by skin color, and the aftereffects.
Some researchers take these racial groups as a given, without questioning them, and find differences among populations. So they conclude “it’s got to be genetic race.” But there’s a host of other reasons, both why “race” is not actually the explanatory variable, and why–in cases where it is, such as heart disease and African Americans–it correlates with things like diet, not genes.
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The ‘race’ term might not be useful, as it’s traditionally understood of being 5 (?) classes, which no doubt over-simplifies and ignores the variations within each group like you said, maybe better to think of it in terms of ‘peoples’, -for example I’ve seen genetic maps of Europe, and the Finns are waaay out on their own in some respects, but like I said there is disagreement among scientists as to whether some differences between people are genetic or environmental based, or what combination of both factors….and that’s when the accusations of ‘racist’ and ‘PC’ can fly….
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People bandy words like ‘racist’ around, and mean a lot of things, but I think that ‘racism’ is really something specific…the idea that you can judge an individual’s abilities and attributes by their ‘race,’ and that this justifies treating individuals differently based on ‘their race.’
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the idea that you can judge an individualâs abilities and attributes by their ârace,â and that this justifies treating individuals differently based on âtheir race.â
I don’t think the geneticists and scientists who look into this sort of thing do that though, dunno, other people might, but from my own non-geneticist, non-scientific perspective, it is very important that when you talk about differences among peoples, such as they may be, that it is nothing to do with questions of superiority/inferiority and especially nothing to do with judgements about human worth, and that people are 99.?% the same everywhere, but it’s sort of inveitable that people will be interested in the differences, which make stuff interesting….
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Right, but not what I was saying đ
Think there is a difference between the idea of ‘race,’ which just says there are meaningful differences among ‘races,’ and ‘racism,’ which means (as I see it) that you can judge worth, superiority and inferiority of individuals based on that premise.
Like Achmad, I believe modern genetics has demonstrated that ‘race’ as a concept is only skin deep (excuse the pun). That automatically invalidates the racist worldview, but it is intellectually possible for ‘race’ to be real and racism to still be a crock.
However, there are loads of researchers for whom ‘the objective study of race’ is a trojan horse for racism. Doesn’t have to be. But I had Murray and Hernstein, authors of the “Bell Curve” (the book that infamously said that race determines intelligence) in mind.
Don’t think someone who simply says “African Americans have a higher risk of heart disease” is being racist, because he or she is not implying that race is the culprit, but rather that certain socially-defined groups (of practical relevance) vary in terms of health outcomes.
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Donât think someone who simply says âAfrican Americans have a higher risk of heart diseaseâ is being racist…
But then we’re not talking about race anymore, but certain sequence of C, G, A, and T in chromosome that is shared by a certain group of living form, and this certain group of living form can be a group of human being.
IMHO genetics concept can wipe out the concept of race and subsequently of racism, perhaps.
In the end, we’re all African.
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Roel says:
@Astrajingga Says In the end, weâre all African
You are very right. However for a European man an african woman is something very different than an indonesian lady. And the way indonesian boys respond to african woman was also a surprise to me.
I was very lucky to see Tina Turner Diana Ross and Sade when I was a young boy and encounter Tracy Chapman much later. It took me 15 years later to live among their kin. But sure what you encounter there has very little to do with the way indonesian lady behaves.Maybe it’s a preference of taste but in Indonesia she always make sure things are at ease. In Africa confrontation is used for it’s effect.
Nevertheless, I think Diana Ross and Sade have also become a role model for indonesian girls ??
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Andy says:
Damo, I truly understand your situation. Yes aussie (or bule) ladies love money and as there is so much of it on our soil they can pick and choose from one eligible bachelor to another. Then the ones left over are, for want of a better word, ugly!
So yes your first trip to Indonesia would be a breath of fresh air as you will see lovely ladies smile at you and this has a feel good factor. But you must look beyond the smile and see what’s inside. If this lady takes your money without feeling a tad guilty (particularly as you say you are not in a serious relationship) she is not the right one. Yes i’ve also heard the ‘sick relative’ stories and the ‘can’t pay my rent mister’ more times than i’ve had nasi goreng. As you said about the women back home these girls love money too, probably more, and assume you are rich regardless of your circumstances. White = rich in the eyes of the Indos and it is true, you could be on a Centrelink payment and still be earning way in excess of the average Indo guy with a decent job. Average salary in Indonesia according to a report is slightly under 1 million rupiah which is roughly $130 a month
Go somewhere away from the bars and find someone who seems shy, reserved but still interested. If they haven’t had a bule bf that is a bonus. Like buying a car or TV don’t select the first one you find. Compared to the average indo gent you are a pretty prized catch so you can sit back and decide from a handful. Go for it!
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Farah says:
@ Damo
The difficulty for me is that I would not say that I Love her and i doubt that she loves me as we have only been together for 9 days . But i do like her and think maybe she likes me. Becasue i like her i want to help her and her family. By helping her with money i hope it may prove to her that i like her and want what is best for her. By doing so it may or may not lead to a more seriouse relationship (maybe not).
You can’t buy love. Its just going to hurt one of you at the end if you do so.
I like the idea about buying a computer for the kids and maybe when i am in Jakarta to meet her family we can both go for a drive and she can show me around her country and help me find a worthy recipient.
In jakarta maybe most of school already had computer, try Central Java or in Bandung areas. This is one of the best way if you want to made aus$ 400 worth a life time.
@ L
Achmad,
True about the mixing chromosomes crap. Indonesians just love Eurasians like me. Farah can confirm this.
Hehehe.. depends on the person it self… caucasian, eurasian, indonesian… love good guys only.
@ Andy
Go somewhere away from the bars and find someone who seems shy, reserved but still interested. If they havenât had a bule bf that is a bonus. Like buying a car or TV donât select the first one you find. Compared to the average indo gent you are a pretty prized catch so you can sit back and decide from a handful. Go for it!
Andy, i had questions… whats up with girls that ever had a bule bf before? why its like a bonus if they NEVER had a bule bf before ?
Isn’t that would be harder to understand if thats the first time they meet bule? -
Oigal says:
whats up with girls that ever had a bule bf before? why its like a bonus if they NEVER had a bule bf before ?
Laugh….Aaagh.. this has to be a set up its sooo easy…Assmad are you Farah?
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ET,
btw – sorry for snapping. Just re-read your thread. It is I, Achmad Sudarsono, this time who has been the moron and imbecile…
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If you want the true affection of a caucasian girl you must be a horse
if you want the love and attention of an african woman you must be a child
if you want the affection of an indonesian lady you can remain a man -
LaughâŚ.Aaagh.. this has to be a set up its sooo easyâŚAssmad are you Farah?
I don’t know if a guy could be this twisted.. poor guy.
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Patung
Ugh, I hate that, in your own words is better, like timdog said once, digest it first, then er, bring it up here.
Ok if it’s a subject I’m familiar with. But some things are scientifically too specific to bring them up in a layman’s words. Look at the case here how easily it may create misunderstandings, even using the right terms.
AS
sand over it… (these are my own words)
Odinius
Please let me help you with your typographical errors.
I’m not a native English speaker. And proud of it.
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Farah, in case you don’t know there are such people in Indonesia as professional bule hunters. They will hang out in bars depepnding on their class (or the class they are searching for). Some are happy to have any bule, the dumber the better, so will grab any no hoper and sting him for probably half his rent money everytime he gets paid. Others are looking to go the whole hog and drink in Bats or CJs while trying to get an oil worker or managing director of a company. She is looking to emulate Rose Hancock (a famous asian socialite living in oz). I know it is hard for you but don’t pretend they don’t exist. Many girls want a bule but we bule must sort the wheat from the chaff and get one who wont take everything we own while shagging our mates while we are at the pub or the office. That is why I suggest a girl who hasn’t had one bf. If she was satisfied with Indo bfs she will love and honour a bule guy won’t she?
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ET said:
Iâm not a native English speaker. And proud of it.
Lol the English was fine.
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@ Andy
Farah, in case you donât know there are such people in Indonesia as professional bule hunters. They will hang out in bars depepnding on their class (or the class they are searching for). Some are happy to have any bule, the dumber the better, so will grab any no hoper and sting him for probably half his rent money everytime he gets paid. Others are looking to go the whole hog and drink in Bats or CJs while trying to get an oil worker or managing director of a company. She is looking to emulate Rose Hancock (a famous asian socialite living in oz). I know it is hard for you but donât pretend they donât exist. Many girls want a bule but we bule must sort the wheat from the chaff and get one who wont take everything we own while shagging our mates while we are at the pub or the office. That is why I suggest a girl who hasnât had one bf. If she was satisfied with Indo bfs she will love and honour a bule guy wonât she?
I never close my eyes of these facts that these girls does exist. I am not that naive. I know there’s lots of bule hunters out there in big cities. But it doesn’t meant all of EX-BULE gf is a bule hunters or gold diggers.
Its very sad facts for me that these girls dreaming too much, and obviously watch tv too much. Looking for easy money, or easy way out.
Its quite funny when the way you think just exactly the same like my parent thinking 6 years ago when i tell her i had an American bf, she screamed (and ask if i still virgin or not). Which is very funny, because she never know any bule in her entire life before, and she stereotyping them, all bule bad, that’s on her head that time (thanks to Beverly Hills 90210).What if i turn the table… (IF) i had an ex-bule bf, and (IF) he is an english teacher while i work in oil and gas company, earn more than average people here in this country … what do you think about that ? will you call me a bule chaser because of that ?
(i ever date local guys too, if you curious.. not specify in “bule” just “accidentally” have history with one of them). And i didn’t meet him at bar… haha not even close !
Just want to see other people perspective… đ thanks for your thought tho…
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Farah, to give you more perpective on thise matter, as it is such a complicated, important, and delicate topic, I think I need more information before I go on with my professional advice.
1. When you ‘accidentally’ has bule boyfriend, how old are you?
2. What year did you break up with him, after how many years (month/days?) you were with him?
3. Or he’s still with you?
4. Or are you married with him?
5. Now, without seeing their appearances, don’t even try mentioning skin color, close your eyes… just by judging from each of man’s way of thinking, the way they talk to you, the way each of them make you laugh, the flower they choose to give you on a very special ocassion, or a gift on your birthday… which one you like the most. Imagine his face. Now, what’s his skin color?
6. Now, about facial appearance. If you have to choose, a) A guy in peci with angry face and porn-star moustache, b) another guy with peci trying to look like an intelectual and alim but his sad face remind us of Sumanto the man-eater, a man in red berret saluting something we can’t see, a woody guy in sort of ‘cogito ergo sum’ position, a semar, a guy that only dare to show his lips and tongue, so many not so creative inauthentic guy hiding behind monochromatic geometric pattern, and a smart–almost genius–but a humble blue geometric pattern with a small box in each corner showing his capability to woe every woman no matter what color is their skin nor the language they speak; which one will you choose as your bf?
7. Do I sound hopeless? -
@ Astra jingga
LOL !! hehehehe… i’ll answer your question due to this is a complicated and delicate topic.1. I was 20 years old when i met him, i ever live in Jogjakarta, and went to Jakarta often with my family and i work in an English course owned by American family during my university, so he is not the first bule i see in reall. I meet him when i practice basketball with my university team.
2. Its end at 2004 after like 4 years we do all those long distance relationship, both of us still at university, me depends on pocket money from my mom, its a crazy idea to leave my university and get married (thanks God i didn’t do it). He go back and forward USA and Indonesia just to meet me once-twice a year during university holidays.
3. Nah its over like VERY over, he already have a family, last time he contact me when he gave me news that he just had a baby girl.
4. Heheh.. he married to his latino high school old friend. That i could sense could cause trouble to me since the first time they re-meet again (he told me everything). She is more aggressive for sure.
5. White aka caucasian. He watch my games more often that any of my local bf, show he give me more support that i need, good advises, never yell at me. Both local and him every send me flower, chocolates and gifts, but sure, the USA guy send me more (especially if he think he made me upset, hahaha!). The way they show they care is very different, its just cultures. Just too bad i met one psycho indonesia guy that made me a little bit scare to date any of them now (he threatened to kill him self if i dare to leave him).
6. Hahaha… my ex-local bf not that bad, most of them much taller than me (i’m 173cms, i ever had 100% local ex-bf with height 184cm’s). And btw… errrhh.. i don’t like someone “sweet-pretty-sickening cute round ass-sixpacks package-elite model looks” kind of guys, sorry i found most of them are arrogant and selfish, only care about them self, or how they lookslike.. so.. nah.. they’re not on top of my list. If he could behave and polite, also.. hhh..smart.. i might be interested with him (somehow i prefer cute geeky (young) guys). If he pray a lot, and like he will go straight to heaven kind of look.. he will scare me somehow (with thought….. good/nice guys die faster).
7. bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha !!!!!!
Well.. anyway.. my father is very indonesian guy, after work using with peci and sarong, love malay cultures so much, appreciate differences between religions, skin colors or others opinion, speak fluent english, admire western countries and their technologies and great peoples and he is 100% indonesian. So… i wont hate indonesian guys, because of him (father complex maybe?).
There you go analyze that for me please.
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My professional advice: Make yourself brown–or at least proud to be brown–and try to look like latino. đ
I think I’m not that hopeless. Phew!
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Anyway, I’ve brought your ukulele to my friend who is the best music instrument repairer in Yogya… I hope you’ll forgive me then…. đ
benar-benar tidak sengaja đ
Hmmm… But, how if you play an Acoustic Bass while your ukulele is repaired..? or maybe Drum?
*peace*
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