Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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stevo says:
Interesting post Rahul. I see you have found the problem and its the Chinese, ( those Jews of the East)
Do you think Indonesian women would be less likely to be ayam, if all the Chinese closed their business and pulled their money out? This would make Indonesia richer?
As well as having deep knowledge of women, you are clearly an economic genius, Wow 🙂
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bonni says:
Nadia,
Nothing, cantik, tante bonni was just getting a bit frustrated hehehe…
Susanti,
Dear, I know there are some indonesian ‘bad’ (although I don’t like to put ‘bad’ as an adjective to picture them) girls, etc, etc… It is the fact that we can not deny… But they are part of us indonesian women. We don’t know their story, so, in order to not sound like we actually envy them (because, yes, most of them got a very beautiful natural indonesian face and body)… We can give a lil appreciation of how they sacrifice their dignity just to get money or upper class lifestyle, and wish them the best luck… Cheers! 🙂
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Susanti says:
Dear Bonny,
“But they are part of us indonesian women”
yes they are, but can’t representative of Indonesia women, what I have to say when my foreign friends say that Indonesian women are bad, and others bad word?
“We don’t know their story”
everybody have hard times, ever made mistake, have dark side, but we must always try to do good things and be better person, it’s never late
“most of them got a very beautiful natural indonesian face and body”
I think most of young Indonesian women have beautiful face, body, and heart
“give a lil appreciation of how they sacrifice their dignity just to get money or upper class lifestyle”
why we must give appreciation for make bad image of Indonesian women, we must remind (if possible help) them to be better person tomorrow, and hope God will give them light
I don’t think that dating and married foreign is bad, I also know some Indonesian women who dating and married Western and other foreign, but they do the right thing by the right way, and I respect them very much
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Susanti,
yes they are, but can’t representative of Indonesia women, what I have to say when my foreign friends say that Indonesian women are bad, and others bad word?
Still, they are part of us, although they surely can not be representatives of Indonesian women.
For the rest I don’t want to give any comments… So funny… Hahaha
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Bad to the Bone says:
susanti-‘yes they are, but can’t representative of Indonesia women, what I have to say when my foreign friends say that Indonesian women are bad, and others bad word?
“We don’t know their story”’
Susanti when others say something negative, tell them it’s best not to judge, or ask if they don’t have people in their country the same or worse. Trouble & problems are never far away in this life, & if you are at the top of the ‘pyramid’ (as someone before described their goal in life )like the Queen of England maybe, don’t forget it’s a long way down, & most things in this life turn to crap quicker than they turn to silver.
there is many a tycoon & wife of those top of pyramid types now sleeping on park benches who could be described as bums –yeah you don’t know their story. But maybe you could learn a lot from them ‘bad person’ typesSusanti- ‘everybody have hard times, ever made mistake, have dark side, but we must always try to do good things and be better person, it’s never late.’
many learn the hard way, others are smart & learn from mistakes of others. I like to mind my own business & not get too judgemental & critical of others. -
But i don’t mind dumping on someone who is out of line with criticisms & judgements.
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chillin' says:
hilarious debate…
well daniel, my suggest you shouldn’t let her get what she wants all the time. She needs to stop being too demanding. No matter how rich she is , she still need to get a job and work.
as you said you are not even married to her, you shouldn’t be financially responsible.
anyway, you brought her to france and pay for gifts etc, that shows that you are respecting her.
My german bf didn’t even invite me to germany after i dated him for 3 years. And now i am working in jakarta and he never call or text me.
I called sometimes and he kept ask me, when i wanna go back to singapore and think about our future (well.. i see no future if i choose to quit job and be there for him)
see.. she’s the one who needs to learn to respect. -
Chillin,
Where is daniel?
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muhammad asif says:
your country vist.i country good buy.
yyour country all life .i am work gold and silver complet work.my expriens14.i job indonsia go.our country gas elctrionic problim.my address pakistan city kamoke dist gujrnawala mohala dolat pura street doctor naeem wale.my age 32. i marrieg no.your country marrieg com.
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Rahul says:
Bad to the bone..is that your real name given by parents?? to answer your quest, indonesia was a vast naturally beautiful country…due to sin its people endure in times, being greedy of power..today its living with curse…it has a lot of natural resources, hefty one..oil,but yet it is in begging state..why??because the people has no mercy for his own people,greediness..
Today in this column,indonesian girls are debated as cheap in general..its all cause by the peoples greediness..the chinese have taken advantage of this by luring money to indonesian native in times to free them to carry out vices..smuggling,prostitution etc etc..in a way indonesian native were unfaithful in what ever they do..they want it easy and fast money.by the way im from Dubai, yes we have a lot of goats and we shag them before exporting to overseas..probably for your next lunch..enjoy it!
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Dubai?? Is that even a country?
Last I heard it was a couple of thousand, temporarily over rich layabouts herded into tasteless artificial environments by goats and camels.
Speaking of bankrupt, how goes the loans from the next door neighbour..
oh by the way, hows that artificial islands of the world thing coming along ..hehehe 🙂
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Stevo..chinese businesses are nothing, just fake..indonesian knows the situation, infact they are envy and angry of this..that is why during last economic chaos,reformation the army and indonesian natives killed and raped chinese..im not supporting this..but the situation is not out of hand,if indonesian chinese pull out their money and move to Spore,the indonesian goverment will strike them..so it is almost imposible for that to happen,infact the goverment are funded by chinese to protect them..but just for chit chat..if chinese moved out now,there will be more ibu ayam,ayam and telor ayam..until reformation of politics take place..but as i say,this only for chit chat..its hard to happen,because indonesian are not smart people to organize this well, the chinese have addicted the poor,greedy and unfaithful natives once again,infact the last reformation only made chinese stronger..
I would say prostitution in indonesia is a way of life accepted, cause their teaching is, you can sell your body by all means to remain , but you cannot die of hunger…so for man who is going for lust with indonesian girl dont expect love or faith if you cant support her all time,dont expect her to die for you idiots
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Oigal…hahaha,i wish you are from Wall Street
When a Dubaian meets an American wall street..this was their convers
D:we in dubai have built tallest building in the world
A:wow,you arabian are so daring
D:we have indoor skiing in the middle of desert
A:wow,you arabian are so daring
D:we have built our fortunes on the backs of millions south asian quasi slaves
A:wow,you arabian are so daring
D:we have ruined our natural environment to put in unsustainable speculative real estate in the middle of the sea
A:wow,you arabian are so daring
D:we have pilled up a $60 billion debts and will repay our creditors,only when were are good and ready…
A:YOU !#*@ ARABIANS!! HOW DARE ARE YOU?!
you got it?
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Yukicamui says:
Well guys….i wonder if true love is exist.i hv ex bf from aussie and he left me after a year dating.he promised me lotsa bullshit while he left me with a burden.till now im still being alone and wish that i wont find someone like him again.
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Yukicamui,
So sorry to hear that… You should move on. I don’t believe in true love… Relationship based on mutual agreement sounds better to me hehehe… I had some nice experiences with aussie guys though… I guess it’s just a matter of personality… Don’t waste your time. Plenty of fishes out there… Goodluck! 😀
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ET says:
@ Rahul
D: we know you Americans have nukes but Allah will always protect the true believers.
A: wow, you arabian are so daring. 🙂
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tikaperwita says:
Bule who seriously want to have Indonesian women as a girlfriend or wife should be sure that she was a good woman. You need quite a lot of communicating with them in order to understand each other, their ways of thinking or how she is addressing an issue. From there, you can know whether he was a good woman is worth for you or he’s just women who take advantage of her beauty for the money. Most women of Indonesia is a good woman. They are not aggressive woman who approached bule even though he’s attracted to him. Most of bule seeking free sex, therefore they get the Indonesian woman who used it to get money. Bule need to know, most of Indonesia is a Muslim, and free sex is forbidden in Islam. It is a sin. Are bule who falls in love with Indonesian woman could be going out and make a strong relationship without doing free sex which has become a habit in the west? That’s the problem..
Im Indonesian girl and i have several friends from other countries. Not a few of those who are interested in me. But do you know what I think? They often say “I falling in love when I saw your pictures”. How can someone fall in love just by looking at photos? Most of good indonesian girl fear that if bule were not serious to them. They do not expect money. They just want a normal life into a happy family even though they are different. They want a faithful husband and did not treat her unjustly
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tikaperwita Says:
Nice comment, I agree 100% with that, many ‘bule’ choose not to understand the culture,people, girl in a deeper way, even some who have been in a long term relationship.
indonesian moslems in general are excellant people-in my experience. I think the exception to that proves the rule, when ‘bule’s ‘ have a bad experience or get ‘burned’ by a Indo girl/woman.
Any relationship, any country, a person needs to take care who they choose for a life partner, or serious relationship, even then there are no gaurantee’s.
(thought i’d write something printable as my other insults to Rahul keep getting omitted-haha) -
sharif says:
i am from turkey , i know English
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Nay says:
Bule who seriously want to have Indonesian women as a girlfriend or wife should be sure that she was a good woman. You need quite a lot of communicating with them in order to understand each other, their ways of thinking or how she is addressing an issue. From there, you can know whether he was a good woman is worth for you or he’s just women who take advantage of her beauty for the money.
Absolutely correct. I totally agree with this.
Most women of Indonesia is a good woman. They are not aggressive woman who approached bule even though he’s attracted to him.
This is where we totally differ. Personally western men LIKE women being interested in them. Why on earth are you trying so hard to look as if you aren’t interested if you are?!? It makes no sense whatsoever.
Why would we want to be with a woman who doesn’t like sex? You don’t have to be good at it the first time, but a healthy interest is important!
Most of bule seeking free sex, therefore they get the Indonesian woman who used it to get money.
Ok, I don’t mean to offend you at all, but I think you need to examine your logic.
Either sex is “free” or men have to pay for it.
If you say that “free sex” is bad, then you are saying that “paid sex” is OK. There is no “middle option”!You aren’t going to like me saying this, you are saying that BY DEFINITION you a prostitute.
No you don’t look like a bar girl on Blok M in a trashy outfit. You are sweet looking girl in a jilbab…. but essentially you are saying “If you don’t pay for me, you don’t have sex with me”. I cannot possibly see how you would ever love the man who marries you. You wouldn’t be with the man if he had no money or way to support you, so you do not care about him. You just care about money. All a husband is doing is paying for your services, with the understanding that you don’t give them to any other man.So if you’re wondering why bule men want “free sex”, it’s simply because we can’t really tell if a woman loves us, or wants our money. We don’t really like prostitution! However, many men feel like they have no choice.
Bule need to know, most of Indonesia is a Muslim, and free sex is forbidden in Islam. It is a sin. Are bule who falls in love with Indonesian woman could be going out and make a strong relationship without doing free sex which has become a habit in the west? That’s the problem..
I totally disagree. “Free sex” is how it SHOULD be. It certainly is NOT a “sin”
Either free sex is bad or prostitution is bad. You can’t say “both are bad”I do realise that even if you do understand what I am saying, your religious beliefs will prevent you from ever considering that “free sex” is actually how things should be… so I understand that it is really pointless trying to convince you that what you believe is actually wrong. There is too much social pressure upon you to follow your religion and not question it, so you are trapped.
We do look for strong relationships… and many Indonesian women are very enjoyable to be with as friends. However, it seems that many Indonesian women are just sexually confused and frustrated. It’s simply impossible for us to tell what a woman’s true motivations really are if she doesn’t freely have sex with us, and as such… we simply can’t trust you enough to marry you.
Also, you have to ask yourself… Why would a western bule want to join your religion simply to marry (e.g. “buy”) you? There are many different women in the world who will love us for who we are as people, and show it with free love and sex, don’t try and change us to their religion (if any) and expect that us men treat them like human beings. They don’t want us to purchase them or treat them like prostitutes or supermarket items. They aren’t pretending that they aren’t interested in sex, or don’t really like us.
They are being HONEST and not lying to us! We’re not forcing them to be with us!If you think that withholding sex if going to get a man to buy you, you should think twice.
There are many other women out there who will have sex freely.Im Indonesian girl and i have several friends from other countries. Not a few of those who are interested in me. But do you know what I think? They often say “I falling in love when I saw your pictures”. How can someone fall in love just by looking at photos?
I find it upsetting that they’re being nice to you (even though they can only see your face because everything else is covered), and you think they are not being honest with you.
That’s mean.
Most of good indonesian girl fear that if bule were not serious to them. They do not expect money. They just want a normal life into a happy family even though they are different. They want a faithful husband and did not treat her unjustly.
Many of these “good” indonesian girls are just prostitutes. Their heart is closed unless the man pays. I do not believe you when you say good women don’t want money. If that is true, then you should be able to have “free sex”. If you don’t trust the man to stay with you and look after a baby, then just don’t have sex with him!
You’ll never find a faithful husband if you make him pay to be with you. That isn’t love. It is just simply business…. and if he pays and you don’t deliver, then he is going to be very unjust with you! You are nothing to him but a prostitute, and slave, a piece of property, and not even human!
If you want to be a prostitute (which is completely up to you), you have to expect these relationship problems as normal!PLEASE don’t be offended by what I said. Many bule think like I do. We want to be with women who honestly love us. We don’t want to buy women and treat them like slaves and prostitutes.
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No… no,,, i think u have misunderstanding to what i said
Totally its not about money
Free sex that i told u before is not a sex for free
In Indonesia, freesex means having sex before married
Im not say about u pay it or not
I think its a bad thing if people having sex just to get money
Like what u said, we want it too, someone who love us
I know that physically interest is important
I talk about having sex before married in Islam way, as u know Islam is a dominant religion in Indonesia, and this religion doesn’t allow us to have sex before married (free sex). So, freesex that im talking about isn’t totally about money or we not trust the man, but because it’s prohibit in our religion, ok. So u shouldn’t said that if we won’t having sex, it means the girl not love or trust u but she love God more than u.Then, i didn’t mean that we not show you if we get interest to bule. But we show it in our way that maybe it isn’t enough clear for bule. We will show it but we won’t seduce bule to get him (for ordinary Indonesian girl). I dont talk about bar girl ok cause i dont know what they think about this.
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Yes maybe u dont believe to what i said but i say it cause im Indonesian girl and i know if they love someone, they dont expect to get money from them, they want love, commitment, friends, etc. Money is very important but its not their purpose. Of course in the relationship need money and it is normal but they will not be use that to take advantages from you
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No, im not ask everybody to convert tp our religion, i only give u information that the dominant religion in Indonesia is Islam and explain why some girls won’t do that before married. If u looking for girl who wanna having sex before married, its ok, and maybe some girls will do that, they dont follow religion too much. You can decide it by yourself. It doesn’t matter.
They will enjoy having sex with u after married, it doesn’t related to money or purchasing
Then, we dont say they are lying but we just dont know he is lying or not, okay
And for headscarf, it is my faith, had nothing to do with what we are talking about. -
abdkhaabdman says:
to tini or pravita,
since both of u always keep on telling the indonesian girls are goods and do respect ,,please introduce me one of the indonesian girls which i might take as my long life partner. here is my email abdulkhalidabdrahman@yahoo.com and hope what both of u said is true…
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to tikaperwita,
please write to me so that i would like to know what u said is true and we can share some ideas..
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berlian biru says:
Tika, I hate to break it to you my dear but you have a rather sweet and old fashioned idea of your fellow-countrymen and women compared to foreigners if you think only westerners are interested in sex.
I don’t think I have ever met such sex-mad people of both sexes as Indonesians. Sure, on the surface it doesn’t look that way compared to the west where everything is open and “in your face” but trust me, scratch a tiny little bit under the surface and you will discover a seething mass of sex and sexual incontinence that leaves us westerners in the second division.
Brothels, “spas”, “salons”, karaoke joints, 5 star hotels all provide almost unlimited sex for those willing to pay for it to a degree unknown in most western societies, only an absolutely tiny minority of the customers are western, the rest are local Indonesian, good, pious Muslims to the man and woman.
That’s just the commercial sector, in the area of “free” sex well let’s just say I as a westerner never enjoyed the prolific sex that is enjoyed today by teenagers all across Indonesia, quite a few of whom wear pretty headscarves just like you.
Marriage? Hmmm, that institution that good holy Indonesians seem to join and leave about three or four times in their lives from late adolescence until middle age as they swap spouses in a way only contemplated by Hollywood stars in the west.
Open your eyes my dear Tika, have a look around at what’s going on in your country and it’s not the bules who are doing it, it’s those decent wholesome Indonesian Muslims and they’re all at it like cats in an alley, your good self excepted of course.
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Not often that BB and I agree but on this he is dead right! Curiously and most amusingly it’s those cute, young covered lasses from deepest west Java who would make a western whore blush in their pursuit of pleasure.
Seriously, each and every time I have had to some ‘mentoring’ to a some staff that have gone way over the top ( and I am no prude) it has been with the little jilbab lass that could not melt butter. Free Sex (?) crappy term but it is the one defining characteristic of Indonesia not the West although to be fair pretty much the same in any religiously oppressed country.
As for moral, loyal and faithful husbands, do you know any successful Indonesian male that does not carry his second ‘fun’ phone ( or two or three). I am afraid lass, you are in for a rude shock.
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Hmmm… Another typical young naive indonesian girl…
Dear tika,
Im Indonesian girl and i have several friends from other countries. Not a few of those who are interested in me. But do you know what I think? They often say “I falling in love when I saw your pictures”. How can someone fall in love just by looking at photos?
Have you met your several friends from other countries in real life?
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Stickmanbangkok on his website wrote “Everybody can find a good girl from Indonesia. I recommend the country for a man who is rather young and who wants to get sweet Asian woman… And if you are an old fat man but still want young, beautiful woman, then I recommend Indonesian bar girls. Yes, they ask for money but so do Thais. And there is no sin sot in Indonesia. They will usually stop working in the bar when a man supports them. It’s not a hobby for them like it seems to be in Thailand.
yeah I think so 🙂