How to Get a Bule Man
Apr 14th, 2008, in Society, by PatungA new book giving advice to Indonesian women on how to find an expat man, How to Catch Mr Bule.
Published by Gramedia Pustaka Utama and written by one Erlinawati How to Catch Mr Bule provides tips and advice for Indonesian women on how to snare a foreign man for romance and likely marriage, and how to manage the relationship.
How to Catch Mr Bule.
The book discusses important questions such as:
- Are foreign men more caring and loving than Indonesian men?
- Is it true foreign men know best how to keep a woman happy?
- Or are bules just looking for a bit of fun, or as blogger Indcoup once put it in the four “F”‘s – “find, feel, f…, forget”?
- Do foreign men like Asian women because they think of them as demure, while western women are too forthright and independent?
- What special problems face local women dating a foreign man?
The weird habits of bule men are pointed out as a warning to Indonesian women, such as
- they like dogs
- they sleep with the lights off
- they like to cook for themselves
These small matters could later blow up into big problems and ruin the relationship, it is said. However the main advice seems to be to avoid stereotypes and keep your eyes open.
Available at the bargain price of 25,000 rupiah.
410 Comments on “How to Get a Bule Man”
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dewaratugedeanom says:
Patrick
Why will the marriages fail dewaratugedeanom? Are you insinuating that Indonesian women do not marry for the right reasons? Please explain as this definitely falls under the category of usefull information.
If I am insinuating something then it is that when it comes to marriage Indonesians have different priorities, economic security and tribal solidarity being the main concern.
Westerners should bear in mind that in Indonesia family and clan solidarity is still the basic form of social security. This is also one of the reasons why corruption is so difficult to eradicate in societies where strong family ties are prevalent. Money meant for public welfare is diverted to the fortune of the family or clan and by extension to the corruptor’s own social security. -
Rob
If this law becomes true I think a lot of bule-Indonesian marriages will fail.
This statement is inclusive of Bule women marrying Kuta Cowboys too, right?
Kuta cowboys will never marry. They are doomed to a life full of dugem.
Just a gigolo
everywhere I go
people know the part
I’m playingPaid for every dance
selling each romance
every night some heart
betrayingThere will come a day
youth will pass away
then what will they say
about meWhen the end comes I know
they’ll say just a gigolo
as life goes on
without me -
Patrick says:
dewartugedeanom – Finally someone has stepped forward with an answer that makes sense. Are you saying that the (Indonesian) wife’s family interest is the priority in the marriage over and above her husband? If so, than this is completely opposite of western thought in a marriage. Our culture places the new marriage bond above your mother and father and your brothers and sisters.
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janma says:
achmad, better late than never….. on page 4 I was saying I could write a few pages on how to get rid of a bule man, but here on page 7 I’ve condensed it to a sentence…. well two sentences actually, one for how to get a bule man, and one for how to get rid of him….
1.How to get a Bule man: give up 90% of your power.
2.How to get rid of a bule man: Take back your power. (otherwise known as ‘how to transform your bule man into a blue man’) -
MbakAditya says:
janma Says:
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:24 am
achmad, better late than never….. on page 4 I was saying I could write a few pages on how to get rid of a bule man, but here on page 7 I’ve condensed it to a sentence…. well two sentences actually, one for how to get a bule man, and one for how to get rid of him….
1.How to get a Bule man: give up 90% of your power.
2.How to get rid of a bule man: Take back your power. (otherwise known as ‘how to transform your bule man into a blue man’)Bitter words of wisdom from someone who clearly hasn’t had a shag in years and resents anyone else that has.
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Janna – that is of course assuming you have first read and mastered the techniques in the book and then actually somehow managed to get yourself your very own live bule man. Probably falling down drunk at Bats! : >)
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Farah says:
Guys.. gals.. fyi
i see another book at gramedia book store yesterday, its about marrying expats too.. i just see it in a glance.. but i think its much better than this how to get bule things here… its a book about what i’m talking about (no, i am not the writer !) about the indonesian woman experiences married with expats from around the globe.
I’ll get the book tomorrow… -
Bitter words of wisdom from someone who clearly hasn’t had a shag in years and resents anyone else that has.
awww…. mbak you don’t need to be worrying about me hon, I been getting plenty!
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Patrick
Are you saying that the (Indonesian) wife’s family interest is the priority in the marriage over and above her husband?
I wouldn’t state it so bluntly, but imagine what will happen if e.g. an Indonesian father-or mother-in-law gets sick and needs an expensive operation.
But this will also be the same if the husband is Indonesian and the wife bule.Don’t forget that bule’s grow money trees in their countries.
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Imagine what will happen…………????????? Ya OK, I imagined a future where Indonesia people realize that they live in a resource rich country and by education and hard work they can make positive changes. I imagine that Indonesians will stop blaming the government, the Chinese-Indonesians and the bules for all their problems and backwardness. I imagine an Indonesia where a decent education and health-care is available to all who seek it. I imagine an Indonesia where democracy works and corruption is corralled and in its place an ethical people arise and represent the well-being of their countrymen in business and politics. I imagine an Indonesia where the people are truly happy, prosperous and lead harmoniously with their neighbors in peace. Where are th Indonesian leaders to make this happen? Do you need Barack Obama to come back? Talk about how to get the right bule man! : > )
Kidding aside the change starts with each Indonesian. Set the example for others to follow and resist the easy way of corruption. Get involved politically and become the leaders that Indonesia needs badly to make the changes necessary to one day become a first world nation.
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Achmad Sudarsono says:
Patrick,
Why don’t you try to make a difference in your own country ?
What ? Answers aren’t so easy ? Have to learn economics ? Um, global economics ? Um… confusing…
Um, maybe the formulas that worked for the UK or whatever country your from in 1750 don’t work in Indonesia in 2008 ?
Um ? Um ? Um ?
Exactly.
Here’s an idea: don’t talk out your a—se.
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Achmad Sudarsono Says:
May 24th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
Patrick,Why don’t you try to make a difference in your own country ?
What ? Answers aren’t so easy ? Have to learn economics ? Um, global economics ? Um… confusing…
Um, maybe the formulas that worked for the UK or whatever country your from in 1750 don’t work in Indonesia in 2008 ?
Um ? Um ? Um ?
Exactly.
Here’s an idea: don’t talk out your a—se.
You’ve been here too long – terrible slip, especially from the “best they ever had”.
Patrick, you are talking out of your noodle hole – look at the state of the UK, then comment on Indo. Are you sure that you aren’t Tiang Listrik in drag?
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Achmad, you’ve forgotten that you are only a guest in Indonesia, periodically you do this, I really wish you would take more care.
I thought that your penyakit lali was under control now.
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Mbak Aditya,
A guest in whose Indonesia ? Yours ? Care to elaborate ? Too hard ? Thought so.
Stumble-di-bumble-di-bumbldei-di-dum.
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Well Achmad, we have at last established something.
Your punctuation is terrible dear fellow, surely we can expect better from the “best we’ve ever had”?
Well, as a little Javanese girl I do feel that I do have some rights to comment. In the next breath I would admit that I can understand why some foreign guests are intimidated by us Javanese, especially the one’s with a little education.
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“some rights”?
“the one’s with a little education”?
Emphasis on “little” education.
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I’m only 4’7″ tall Achmad, thus it must be a “little” education.
I’m led to believe that even by Javanese standards you aren’t very tall either.
Education is all well and good and winning the EP pub quiz is very worthy, but the measure of success has to be not having to drive around in a Kia.
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Ya you are right MkabAditya – What was I thinking? Its a hopeless situation in a hopeless country among a hopeless people. Might as well just go out and get a good shag! :>)
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Patrick,
For some, paying for it wouldn’t be good, but each to their own…
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Achmad – Then is it hopeless for you? Good thing you can use your hands for something else than typing. Try not to make too much of a mess…ha ha ha
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Oh Achmad, Ojo mengabaikan aku sayang !!
I know you truly care for me, and the next time you win the pub quiz, you will hold that trophy high as a sign of your undying love for me, not the woman you are with now – she maybe is refined and educated, but I bet she doesn’t root like I did with you.
You know where you can find me for that drink anytime you wish, jangan malu sayangku, hubungi Mbak Aditya lagi, sebetulnya kamu mau.
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I wonder if Mbak Aditya is a creation of Achmad (who I think is a creation) that he has developed for the purposes of talking to himself because the rest of us bore him so?
By the way Achmad, where are those tips on how to be sexy?
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Um, Ok, Adit.
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Oigal says:
Well, let’s be honest. The legislation’s main purpose is to avoid trafficking of women
Oh please!! The pimping business is good..lets make it legal and get a better cut
When has the average indonesian pollie done anything in the interests of the people and not themselves? If they were serious about Trafficing women they only need to take step out the front door. Are they serious pretending they don’t know where they are?
Perhaps a quick look at the exploitation of Indonesian women by their muslim brothers in the middle east and Malaysia might be a better priority…
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Rob Says:
May 25th, 2008 at 9:08 am
I wonder if Mbak Aditya is a creation of Achmad (who I think is a creation) that he has developed for the purposes of talking to himself because the rest of us bore him so?By the way Achmad, where are those tips on how to be sexy?
No, not true but good thinking anyhow. Yes, Achmad is a creation alright, made out of tofu chunks and tempe and the rubbery bits that you can’t even put into bakso, mixed with a soupçon of cheap red wine and a few of the hottest chilis on earth (that he can eat raw), moulded and formed into the form of manusia (albeit a tad on the short side) then shocked into life using the magneto off of a Roll-Royce Merlin.
Sexiness is something that has sadly eluded the little chap, best refrain from mentioning though, he gets quite distraught and may set his dog on you.
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Adit, baby, where did all the lovin’ go ?
Oigal, good to hear from you again. At least someone’s maintaining their rage. : P
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Achmad Sudarsono Says:
May 25th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Adit, baby, where did all the lovin’ go ?Have you still got that shirt I bought you? you know the black one with the white designs down both sides?
Put it on, have a tofu kebab, and think of me. My memek needs you.
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Adit,
Sorry Sayang, the screaming hordes at Jl. Blora tore it from my sweaty torso after I performed “sunatan massal” by Iwan Fals unplugged…
This is getting weird.
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timdog says:
Funnily enough, like Rob, it had occurred to me that Achmad and MbakAdit’ might be the same person… and I’m still not convinced by the denial…
In any case, if they’re not the same person then they are surely brother and sister, removed from the fragrant palm groves of Purbolinggo at an early age and raised by Australian sheep farmers in Wagga Wagga before returning to their homeland as deeply unbalanced adults…
The sizzling sexual tension between them is disturbing in either case – it’s either purely masturbatory, or utterly incestuous… euuuughhhhhhh!
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Patrick – absolutely fair call, you got me… but my other points in the previous post do stand.
Actually my initial take on the book itself was that it was a thoroughly cynical exercise and not something either Erlinawati or her own Mr Bule ought to be particularly proud of – though I’m sure in response to that they’d cry all the way to the bank…
I still maintain that it’s a fairly silly question, mainly because all of Erlinawati’s eager readers do actually have to find a willing bule to marry even if that’s what they want… so again, perhaps you can answer the question – why did Mrs Patrick want to marry you? And why, more interestingly, did you, Mr Bule, want to marry an “Indonesian woman”?