Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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Michael Knight says:
Wow, I am greatly uplifted by that Sputjam, thanks.
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Achmad Sudarsono says:
Please Mr. Bule, as for compete with Melayu man, especially me, forget it: No one can satisfy any woman, especially Indonesian woman, the way I can.
Achmad.
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Louie says:
Achmad, maybe you can satisfy Indonesian girls better than me and all Bule, but why can’t you satisfy Malay girls? Something must be wrong.
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Friend, Melayu, Indonesian, African, South American — ALL women. I have the scratch-mark scars to prove it. (“Ooh, ohh Achmad !!”) !! Achmad is possibly the greatest lover of the 21st century. Do you know what I mean ? Need I explain ?
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Aluang Anak Bayang says:
I tot the scar was from your momma. She beat the hell out of ya with a rotan stick for stealing a neighbour’s panty.
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Fixmanius says:
Interesting topic actually. But I would say, it doesn’t really matter from where you are, of what colour you are, the most important thing is just the same for everyone: charisma.
Achmad is possibly the greatest lover of the 21st century.
Achmad: Lol, you feel like being Cassanova, eh? =))
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Bego says:
Dear single bules,
I have a youngest sister who still single and live in West Papua. I would like one day she can married with bule. Because I am married with ‘bule’ and live in Australia. I feel very lonely because I don’t have family to visit.
Please, if somebody would like to know her, let me know, tks. -
Sun Flower says:
Interesting topic, I’m Indonesian girl, precisely from Yogyakarta. I’m 27 y.o but have had a lot in life and relationship. I just want to say that it is true that dating Indonesian girl is not for everyone. being Indonesian myself I feel proud and also agree that mostly Indonesian woman has a loving character and have full dedication, to their husband, child and family. But there are also a lot of Indonesian woman who really are cheap and willing to do anything for money and not feel guilty to break someone else’s marriage/relationship just to get what they want.
I had several relationship before with western man, being pretty and had good carreer myself made me easy to meet many guys with good job, mostly they are businessman and had a success company, so they are not a failure either in their home country.
Some of relationship that I had are bad and not worth to remember and mostly it was caused by infidelity from my partner side, as you know some bule they can be a casanova when they arrive in Indonesia, maybe it just their character and maybe it because so many temptation here, as many woman will do anything to get someone’s else boyfriend or even husband or father. And for me, love, fidelity and honesty are very important in relationship and I can’t accept my partner sharing his love or himself with other womans.
But I believe whether it is bule or local (even though I never date local) they had pretty same attitude, what make it different is that being a bule they had more chance as more girl are easier falling for them as part of their ambition to dating bule for whatever reason. That’s why it is pretty hard to find a good bule in Indonesia according to many woman’s experiences and my experience.
Now I’m having a very happy family life with my Dutch husband and my 2 y.o son, never met a guy who trully as good as him and so loyal and faithful, he is a good looking man and had a successful bussines but yet he is a very home person and familly oriented, I never felt happier and loved more in my life as he is trully adore and love me just the way I am. I think God heard my pray. It is trully a blessing to have such a wonderful husband n a cute son.
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Sylvia says:
James and anyone please write me to my email address. I am in a very desperate situation I want to know as much as possible about Indonesian women. My husband travels a lot because of his. Right he’s in Surabaya, Indonesia in a business trip, this is the third time he goes there in a business, and now reading all your comments I understand why he never wanted me to go with him. Last year in May 2006 he went to Jakarta for one month, then back to Surabaya in September for another month and now is back to Surabaya again since June 1. The thing is every time he comes back from Indonesia he acts weird. We have been having a lot problems since his first trip to Indonesia, then he travelled to Russia, China, Holland and other States in the US. Apparently he likes this style life being Casanova, I found some numbers, and girls names. Now he’s in Surabaya he’s saying through messenger online he wants to end our 13 yrs of marriage. He check out from his hotel and just disappear the only communication we have is through messenger once or twice a week and started to say things like this that he wants to redo his life and be happy, about a week ago having my doubts I asked him if is the case he would fall in love with some Indo girl if he would bring this girl to the US where we live, he said not I won’t go through all that immigration process again like, I’m from south america, he said If would make my life again it would be in the usa with somebody citizen or somebody with legal paper, but I asked him again same question, he said yes I will do, and it’s not of my business anymore if he falls in love in Indonesia or not. I heard in China business man rent an apt and get a woman as housewife, lover, etc., etc. they act as a wife during all time these men are doing business in the country and they pretend they make their wives in real and take them for a better life to a foreign country. I was wondering if this costume is the same in Indonesia as well, Now with all these I’m learning a lot about women and their attitude.
I remember my husband saying last time he came from Indonesia that women in Indonesia like sex like taking a shower every day and for them is just sex, sex, and he said comparing to western is another mentality I do not what he meant with that Anyone? Can explain.
My question to everyone is how much easy is too bring a woman to US while a man is still married in the US, how hard is for people to leave Indonesia for good to overseas, Do you guys think that my husband is thinking serious? I know he had fun you know what I mean in China, Russia, Holland, everywhere he travels.
Please help.
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IndoGirl says:
First, I want to response for Daniel.
I think your GF is a spoiled & lazy girl. I am Indonesian girl & also married with American guy. We’ve been married for 10 years now & have three kids. Since I was dating my husband I never asked money from him, I felt so defended if he paid for me, either that for our lunch or dinner. I had a good job, I had my own money & I came from rich & educated family. I don’t need some BF to pay for me. And I hate that people think that Indonesian girls go out with foreigners because their money. Maybe, in some case there are some women like that, but not all Indonesian women like that. I know because I talk from my own experienced, also from all my friends who are married with foreigners. Some of my friends are even pay for their BF rent house, food, ect….when their BF loose their job, and they still want to find a job in Indonesia. So, its BS if anybody said that’s one of Indonesian culture, that guy have to taking care everything or pay for everything, that’s depends on the person itself.
And for Harry, stop feel sorry about how you look, maybe you just didn’t find the right person for you, yet.
The smart women they’re not looking for a partnert form how they look, how much money they make, what car they drive, or do they have a bank account in Switzerland.
When I met my husband, all I saw that how much he care about me, how intelligence he is, & from his sense of humor, a lot of people asked me why I married him, because his different, his is not white like most of foreigners in Indonesia, but I wasn’t look for the skin color or the material or how they look, I think good personallity & intellectuality are the most important think than anything.
So, please be possitive & stop all the negative thingking, if you always being so negative it will appear on how you behave or how you interacts with other people. And maybe that’s the reason why you still didn’t find any women that you like. -
Julia says:
It is all so pathetic – “I want an Indonesian girl friend”. Really – Why? Because it is easier and not demanding. Because they won’t dump you?
You all sound like my husband – 48yo conducting a relationship from Australia via phone and money deposits to a 21y.o in Bali. She doesn’t work anymore – a week after meeting her in Bali he was sending her $1,00.00 as she was very sick. Since her first “pay cheque” her mother was sick as was her brother. He goes to Bali every 3 months for 10 days and stays at hotel with her – she no longer works – he met her in a local bar where she did work. She smokes and drinks. They text each other numerous times a day. My husband believes his “relationship” is different? He sends money to her monthly and so far since last August spent 50 days in all over a period of nearly 1 year. I hold no grudge against her – not her fault – but if I know what she is – I can’t see why my husband and other men in this situation can not.
Question is – and the Indonesian girls may answer is – Do Indo girls not worry about age difference. What about if he moves there – would she at her young age be able to stay with him just for the security? There are so many handsome young Balinise men. -
Tony says:
Julia sounds pathetic. Most western women just don’t understand why western men don’t want them anymore. The reason is because Indonesian women look like women (not overweight cows), they act like women (western women want to be men), and they have true beauty.
I am a Canadian with an Indonesian wife–she acts like a woman and values family. She IS NOT a slave or submissive–we often disagree but at the end of the day we work it out because we value family. She takes care of herself because she doesn’t want to be a fat pig–better for her health.
So, your husband is happy–good for him. Sounds like he made the right choice.
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I agree %100 with Tony on this one, except for his comment about Julia being pathetic. She is married and her husband is cheating on her. There is no excuse for that, I don’t care what the circumstances are. I am marrying an indo girl for all reasons stated, but I cannnot agree with or condone cheating, that’s bullsh*t. Julia get a divorce and maybe re-evaluate why your husband strayed. I am not saying it is all your fault, but when I leave my woman, I am extremely sad, why didn’t your husband feel the same way?
-Mike
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Newlymom says:
Where on earth do they exist? Only DOGS can give love unconditionally”¦LOL!
Actually Parvita, they do exist here in my own little world. My husband would sacrifice everything for me to be happy and so would I.
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Julia says:
Tony, you obviously don’t know many “western” girls – or maybe – just fat ones who want to be men. I can see why you would prefer an Indonesian girl (not fat) beautiful inside and out – because they are all like that? Certainly not fat pigs and unhealthy like all western women.
Count your blessings because you sound a nasty piece of work.
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Agreed, I don’t condone cheating either. My comment to Julia was not as a reprimand for complaining about her husbands cheating, that is none of my business. Perhaps my choice of words was wrong. But everytime this happens, western gals blame everyone but themselves.
However, I hear the same thing from every western woman who loses her hubby to Asia–not just Asian women–but to Asia. The stereotypes that we in the west learn about Asia and Asians are totally wrong. Asia is herself a lovely mistress as she has a short memory and she tends to be more open towards a person’s mistakes. This translates to both the men and women but since I am a man I am more interested in the women.
Western women no longer make suitable companions, imho. Most of my friends back in Canada and the States are miserable. Why? Because (again imho) they have bought into the lesbian philosophy of NOW that says they don’t need men–only their sperm and their wallet. I don’t have anything against lesbians but they need to realize that their agenda is not for all.
So Julia, I apologize if I offended you but at the end of the day, you need to realize that western men don’t go for Asian women just because they have nice bodies ( and they do 🙂 but because of he mindset. This is important. I had some great blonde haired, blue eyed loves in the CAN and the USA. And of course we as human beings will always be attracted to those of the opposite sex that are younger than ourselves. Men and women alike.
So, you are not the first and you will not be the last western woman to lose her hubby to an Asian woman. But, rest assure there are more than enough ignorant fools who will never have the ambition or creativity to leave the west (US,CAN,AUS,NZ & UK) who will be lonely enough to roll the dice with a fine western woman.
Good Luck!
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I re-iterate, you sound a nasty piece of work. Smug and old. The roll of the dice obviously didn’t go your way.
If you want to be taken seriously you need to stop being so bitter and twisted concerning westerners. I don’t think this forum is for you to justify your actions or to vent your anger at western women, western men, lesbians etc.
You are obviously a real plonker and preferably won’t bother with a reply.
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Dear All,
Indo Girl: sorry, you’re just in sad denial of reality. The truth is the White Man looks for a woman who looks like maid; gigi tongos (buck teeth), with high forehead from remote mountain village, and the product of generations of cousins marrying cousins. Such a woman sees White Man as a walking, talking ATM machine. Why else would an Indonesian woman marry a White Man when she can marry a good Muslim (like me), who is a much, much better lover.
No one can satisfy Woman like Achmad.
Julia: sorry, sister, it’s true about Western Woman. She has forgotten the true role of woman in life: to serve the man. Tony said it all. (Good one, Tony!). When faced with the truth, you recoil, like a vampire in the face of a holy object.
Parvita also used to struggle in the face of my logic and eloquence of my arguments. Finally, she had to admit I was right.
Merdeka, friend, merdeka.
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Aaah So thats the key – these women serve you. As for facing the truth; I wasnt aware I needed to. I am not arguing who is better…not arguing at all but I feel both you and the very smug Tony would like to. You both seem to feel a need to ‘justify’ yourselves through argument.
Seems the only person struggling in the face of logic is your good self.
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Ha .. Sylvia. Your hubby is a goner. No man can resist the feminine beauty of honey skinned big eyed Indonesian women.
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Tomaculum says:
“The reason is because Indonesian women look like women (not overweight cows), they act like women (western women want to be men), and they have true beauty.”
Poor, Tony.
May I ask you: where do you live? In Germany you still can see beautiful slim white women (and believe it or not: many of them are intelligent too).
In France you can meet more of them.
Western women want to be men?
Tony, how old are you? Sorry, you sounds like 15 years old and never met real beautiful, intelligent and feminine western women. -
Oops, sorry, I’ve just overlooked it, that you’re living in Canada. And the white women there are all fat like cow and they all want to be men? The beauty surgeons in your country must be very rich, aren’t they? 🙂
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Dear Toma and all,
Our Indonesian ladies have perfect shapes because we are a poor nation. Not that they look after their diet, but because they had to budget on what they spend. Junk foods are luxuries they can’t afford.
Western ladies binge on junks because they can afford them. That is why you see fat cows and thunder thighs.
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Aluang – what generation are you in? Last visit I am sure I noticed McDonalds, Do-nut King, Starbucks,,,,the list goes on And guess what, who do you think were patronising these food chains. From what I can gather, our western men take their new “loves” to Macca’s first – followed by the rest. Cheap dates. So, you had better get a wife soon or you may have to wade through a few thunder thighs yourself.
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Dear Julia, only when the ‘boyfriends’ takes them there. So you see, their diet is not built on high fat junk foods. Hence, no thunder thighs.
Yes I agree with you Westerners are cheapos when it comes to date. They would expect their dates to pay their shares. Reason they pay is because they expect something in return – in this case, sex. I am not bunching all of them, but the vast majority.
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Julia,
I (as a man) my self don’t understand what these men are looking for.
If they’re just looking for something pretty, then I think they can buy a Barbie doll, a Subadra wayang puppet or even a love doll.
I know some western/Indonesian pairs in Europe. Most of them are living just together but not with another (if you know what I mean). Each o them can even speak the language of their partner barely. But maybe they just need the famous “words of love”?
For me personally: beauty without brain is not sexy, even like Barbie.
But: everybody seeks for what they need. Isn’t it like that, Julia. 🙂Aluang,
you can’t even see the shapes of many Indonesian ladies, can you? How can you say, they have perfect shapes? You maybe imagine it, don’t you? 🙂 🙂 -
dewaratugedeanom says:
This thread seems to go on forever and ever, so I would like to join in and make a contribution in the form of an article that I borrowed (without permission, I admit) from the Bali Advertiser. I think this article is quite appropriate for the topic under discussion.
Enjoy your reading!Why some men prefer Asian women.
I would like to make a comment about a situation I and other expats that live here in Bali have experienced one time or another and this recently happened to my Balinese wife of over 5 years and myself.
While we where out having an evening dinner in a restaurant on JI. Legian in Seminyak, three rather large and somewhat noisy middle aged women came in and sat down in front of our table, it did not take long before it was apparent they were from New York most likely, due to their distinctive “down town” accent.
We greeted them with a smile but we were answered with disapproving, disdainful stares toward my wife and hard core “stink eye” aimed in my direction. After only a few seconds of this and with a slight readjustment of our chairs we gave them our backs to stare at as we finished our meal.
With nature calling I excused myself to visit the little boy’s room and when I returned to our table these women had gone but I found my sweet and very kind wife shaking and very up set. She said almost as soon as I left the women started asking her why she was demeaning herself and “all women” by being with me in public as she was.
They told her I most likely could not get a girl back home and I was most likely only using her (where my first wife was killed in a car crash by a drunk driver), when my wife tried to tell them we had been married for 5 years they said surely she was told to say this, wasn’t she?
One of these women left a newspaper on their table and the up facing page was on the cartoon page and one of the cartoons was “Cathy”.
Having first come to Bali in 1969 and living here nearly 16 years on “the Island of the Gods” that obnoxious cartoon strip is all I need to remind me why I chose Asian women over western women.
“Cathy” is the epitome of the great, white North American female: insecure, obsessed with shopping, dieting, dating, eating and bad-mouthing men with her equally banal, equally unappealing, fat friends.
Personally, I detest that comic strip, as much as I detest the Cosmo-brained, western female mentality that inspired it.
When it comes to men, maybe there are more frogs than princes, but most of the men I know here are decent people, victims equally caught up in the widening and confusing gap between the sexes.
This gap being further exacerbated by the endless ravings by scores of supposedly historically justified, embittered behemoths, armed with degrees in women’s studies.
But, rave on, sister. It only reinforces our preference for living in Asia, and especially for these beautiful, polite, considerate, Asian women you’ll never be able to compete with.
And if some Westerners feel superior to men who prefer Asian women because they mistakenly think we can’t find a woman back home or prefer a submissive female companion, fine. Because nobody over here really cares what you think. We’re happy with our choice.
And we’re quite happy to leave the western women back home with their therapists, Thigh Masters, game shows and attitude. So there!
M. C. Skrap
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Ihaknt says:
HAHAHAAHAH, a very amusing article for sure. Well, I dont care where people come from but I personally think we cant generalise a whole race/community, there is always an exception. There are ugly western women, there are ugly Asian women. There are Asian women needing therapy, there are western women needing therapy. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What’s attractive to me maynot be to you. In the end we are all just human, enjoy the differences. Being nasty and vicious is not just the traits of western women. All human/person has the ability to do so, including Asian/Indonesian women, men, kids, etc. It comes down whether you want to be a nice person or a nasty one.
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MC Skrap – how banal you sound. Please….no more comparisons with western women…is this what it is about – asians are nice, thin, beautiful, serving, etc. etc., and western women are not. Basically, its not how western women look at all, its how they treat you? oh…poor you. Face it: asian women are much more accepting of inferior men than any other race.
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This is a signature of many northeastern asian women, especialy those of chinese, koreans and japanese descent. As stated by you –
She bought me many gifts while I was there, which was a surprise, not many of my western girlfriends/dates have done that. What attracted me to her most was the way she lit up the room and lit up my heart. She hasn’t asked for money of any kind while we have been separated, which is a good sign I think.
Sometimes, they will put some food on your dish, many many acts of kindness that will leave you overhelmed with feelings of love. And if you take care of them, they will reciprocate many times more. You will never find women from other parts of the world such as these.
They have an independent mind and may sacrifice their life for their loved ones.
Good luck.