Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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ET says:
@ Farah
He might have qualities (or lots of thing) that you don’t have.
What thing? Now you are making me curious.
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@ Roel
Nakal is very difficult to translate. I would not use the word bad for that.
nakal = naughty
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Farah says:
@ET
What thing? Now you are making me curious.
Thing such as e.g:
1. Big heart to tell the beloved gf that she is a better dancer, or better person in managing things, or other things (giving compliments sincerely, not only about her beauty).
2. Show affection, not only call “sayang” or sweet talk if hes only need something from her.
3. Go to her basketball game, and support her. Encourage her when she loose the game (not laugh at her and said, you’re sucks, you can’t even do the jump shoot and laugh)
4. Able and willing to cook for her sometimes, or maybe something that would pamper her ?
5. Ask her what does she think about going out to cinema at saturday night (instead of saying “okay we go to cinema, ill pick you up at 7”). Ask her opinion/what does she think about something, show her that her thoughts matters for him (what so ever the final decision is).
6. etc.Well this all just examples… there’s plenty white/yellow/brown/green men also had some bad attitude and not able to do such example as i mentioned anyway.. its just something subjective, just from my point of view, based on my past relationship with local/malay guys.
Cheers.
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Achmad Sudarsono says:
@ET,
Farah give u a bad informations.
Is much better to…
Play the Ukulele All Night Long, Baby !
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Roel says:
You mean this Achmad ??
one of a kind, so sad we lost him, but his music continous
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@ Pak Achmad
Hehehe…. yeah that guy can not play ukulele as good as you are for sure ! (or can not play that all night.. maybe ? ho ho ho) -
@Farah
Thing such as e.g:
1. Big heart to tell the beloved gf that she is a better dancer, or better person in managing things, or other things (giving compliments sincerely, not only about her beauty).
2. Show affection, not only call “sayang” or sweet talk if hes only need something from her.
3. Go to her basketball game, and support her. Encourage her when she loose the game (not laugh at her and said, you’re sucks, you can’t even do the jump shoot and laugh)
4. Able and willing to cook for her sometimes, or maybe something that would pamper her ?
5. Ask her what does she think about going out to cinema at saturday night (instead of saying “okay we go to cinema, ill pick you up at 7?). Ask her opinion/what does she think about something, show her that her thoughts matters for him (what so ever the final decision is).
6. etc.O, these thing you mean. 🙁
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Kodew says:
@Cak Roel
When you are from bright light big city it is most likely your first contacts with Indonesia is indeed big city as well. If you are lucky more Depok than Chililitan or Blok M.
Broadening your contacts will be great before judging the whole community, dont you think Cak? 🙂
By the way more than 80% of all roepia in the whole country are in larger Jakarta area so everything that think to be important rush to that moneypot.
Being a center of money circle doesnt mean it represents the whole country’s culture in my opinion Cak Roel, as we all know money could ruin everything despite of its benefit 😉
Nakal is very difficult to translate. I would not use the word bad for that. I doubt even if the word is not too much a cultural thing so maybe only indonesian people know and can be nakal sometimes. Many other people can be bad.
Nakal also is diffent for a girl than for a boy I expect.In my neighbourhood, The word Nakal, if it is used to refer to children’s behaviour, the meaning will be just naughty or bad. But if it is used for calling an adult (male or female), the meaning deviated into a ‘slutty’.
I did not meet singaporian cantik dan nakal (yet!)
Good luck Cak! 😉
Maturnuwun is bahasa soenda ??
No, Cak, it’s a javanese word for thank you (jawa-timuran or jawa-baratan) 🙂
Maturnuwun 🙂
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(jawa-timuran or jawa-baratan)
Sorry, I meant Jawa-Timuran or Jawa-Tengahan
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@ ET
…you sound bit disappointed about my answer ..hehe -
@ Farah
… yes, I had something else in mind. 😉 -
DumadiSatrio says:
@Achmad,
Play the Ukulele All Night Long, Baby !
Ay, but the average bule would not have the thumb nail strength for such an endeavor.
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DumadiSatrio,
True, but it all starts with the mind !
Va Va Voom !
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@Kodew
In my neighbourhood, The word Nakal, if it is used to refer to children’s behaviour, the meaning will be just naughty or bad. But if it is used for calling an adult (male or female), the meaning deviated into a ’slutty’.
Next time a polisi nakal tries to extort a pungli I will call him ‘slutty’.
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I imagine living in Hawaii must be distressing, trapped inside the big blue ocean, in some small islands, where the volcanoes are active…. Patagonia seems more compelling….
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Globe says:
Wow “Dating Indonesia Girls” sounds interesting topic. I read some posts and made me smile or even laugh.
Just want to give my opinion. Why most (many) Indonesia Girls make white men as God?
Because they don’t travel a lot. Travel i mean is not only going to somewhere, places but they don’t travel their mind and heart. And they don’t think they are human. And the worst thing is they think White is not human as well but God.Probably, if many indonesians had a will to travel or visit a lot of place, they would not be like that.
Don’t we think that we are only human what ever our race is? we eat, drink, sleep, pee, poo, get illness and die someday. Imagine when you look beautiful girl or handsome boy, look their face, their body with only the skull exist. we are only human and weak, really weak.
So, my question is Why Is It Not Easy To Treat or At Least See Others As Human?
Regards,
Globe -
@ET
Thats a good idea 😀
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percy says:
Hi… I met this guy from a dating site. He’s an english man. After 2 weeks talk on the net n on the phone for many hours…he decided to fly from uk to visit me in surabaya. we spent 2 weeks together with my son, 5 yo.im divorced. then he went back home. we found that we fall in love each other.
I have a stable job, good house from work, savings in account, and have a car. I really have a good live here in Indo. He wants me to marry him and quit everything here. but the probem is his job is only a floor manager at nite in a restaurant n at day time he runs his own plumbing job. he has no savings at all. And I found that he really loves me so much that I never expect.
Now he wants me to take 2 months day leaves from work, and I know if I take it I will loose my promotion. 🙁
He knows that I’m doubting him. He said he will send the papers I need for visa application, if in 2 months I don’t come, he will come and stay in indonesia. this man is really serious with me, n it scares me. And so far I heard that marrying him in his country is very difficult. And I’m so worried about me and my son future over there…since I have no job anymore. What if we divorced???
Pls guys help me. -
Michael says:
Hi i would like a little advise with anyone knowing my situation.
I have been dating an Indonesian girl now for 5 months. I love her so much.We both live in australia , She lives in a far away town in australia to me. And i have bought her plane tickets for her to meet me on three occasions. She is a muslim and that doesn’t worry me at all. I feel i am walking around broken glass trying to avoid getting in an argument with her. She also is always having a go at my past relationships too. Saying she cant trust me because i had two relationships with two asians before i met her. What’s strange is that she has had a relationship with five foreigners before me.
While having sex she wants me to make her pregnant, She said she wants a baby. I would love a baby too and would marry her because i love her. but after she found out she wasn’t pregnant she changed her attitude started a fight and wanted to leave. next day we worked things out then she put another question to me that she wants to get an Australian citizenship. I didn’t know what was involved and when i asked her why she started another argument again. and she said i know plenty of men that will help me get one. Maybe i’m stupid but, does she need me for a citizenship or can she apply for it herself. and she is a permanent resident as she has been here five years. im really really confused with everything one minute she says she loves me and the next she wants to fight and end everything.
If anyone can understand what is going on i would love to know. I really hope we can work things out.
Cheers.
Michael -
Michael
The best thing about an indonesian lady is in my experience and opinion is the close life she has with her family.
So talk these topics over with her father her mother her brothers or her sisters before you make a decision.
Is she is alone and walking blind in the world, she experiences the big big hole many many woman have in our western world and which makes them so unattractive psychovictims.
If you can not trust the advice of the ones who love you most, like your family, you will never accept any advice. Certainly not from a boyfriend or potential husband. -
Orang-Aus says:
Michael,
Get rid of her now man!!! She will be a problem your whole life. Go to Jakarta, you will meet many new women there.
Good luck.
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Percy,
Love and life has many different turns, each day is a new one. Do what your heart says and never think of divorce before you even marry.
all the best.
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Orang-Aus,
I never thought about divorce on my previous marriage but it happened. This will be a huge decision that i ever take.
yes..im worried about material stuffs..last time i heard from him that he couldnt get a loan from bank. he needs money to put in my account for applying visa. I was very sad…n the money he got only 1500 pounds thats for me n my son tickets. He said he will work very hard after marriage.. I do have very good life here. I love him but does it make any sense if i leave everything???? specially in these days, the financial crisis made many people jobless???tx 🙂
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Percy,
Well 1500 pounds is not a lot to start a new life in another country. Most people of this fine world of ours are not rich and live from pay to pay in every country.
I remember a Balinese friend asking me why bules are always rich. I told him most he meets (he works in hospitality) are on holiday and the money they have spent in his country would have been saved over a period of time working hard. Now there on holiday for 1 – 2 weeks they spend alot having a good time. So most are not rich although many people in Indo think otherwise.
Go with your heart, if it dosen’t work out you can always go back home, I know you will lose your job but if your good you will get another one. Think of it as a another one of lifes adventures!!!
Remember there is always other guys if you decide to stay home.
Good luck.
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Orang-Aus said
I remember a Balinese friend asking me why bules are always rich. I told him most he meets (he works in hospitality) are on holiday and the money they have spent in his country would have been saved over a period of time working hard. Now there on holiday for 1 – 2 weeks they spend alot having a good time. So most are not rich although many people in Indo think otherwise.
Hello, all you Indonesians, Balinese, Javanese etc. etc.
Don’t believe what Orang-Aus said. Bules are always rich because they have money trees in their gardens.
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Andy says:
Yes Michael I agree with orang aus. However if you do go to Jakarta be very careful who you meet. Make sure you know her well before getting really serious. The women in Indonesia are far more beautiful than those in any western country i’ve been to but many have incredibly flawed personalities. They can be childish, erratic (like the girl you met) and dishonest. Many are not what they seem too so go there but tread carefully. Personally if I was you i’d probably try the Philippines or Thailand as the women there are more likely to blend into western society having not come from an islamic background.
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Raafiq says:
Hello everyone, I am Raafiq 38 years man born in India, currently I am a British Citizen, I am work and live in UK. I wolud like to make a good friendship with good knowledge with some one.
If anybody insterested to join with me please contact with me. I am looking like a fair, loyal and honest man.
Whatever she wants I will do my best of my knowledge.
Think better who will catch me !!!!!!!!!!!
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Rafiq Khan says:
Well, I have had a bad experience with Indonesian women.
What I understand is that indonesian women are complete hypocrites. They are bound by our religion by the families but a lot of them have lost their virginities long way back. Or atleast had a couple of relationships including physical intimacy, which incidentally is not allowed. And parents have no clue about it.But unlike western women, they don’t admit to that fact and lead their men (Indonesian or foreigners) to believe that they are virgins and they have never done anything with anyone.
Also, what I have experienced and have heard a lot from other Indonesian men, is that women, particularly Sundanese, are not very loyal to their partners.
They can call it quits whenever they want. They can betray you whenever they want.Expats look for sex. I agree. But Indonesian women are not too far behind. They are also looking for sex and having a nice time in malls, restaurants, etc.
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@ percy
Hi… I met this guy from a dating site. He’s an english man. After 2 weeks talk on the net n on the phone for many hours…he decided to fly from uk to visit me in surabaya. we spent 2 weeks together with my son, 5 yo.im divorced. then he went back home. we found that we fall in love each other.
Read more: https://indonesiamatters.com/359/dating-indonesian-girls/cp-59/#comments#ixzz0MtEmNfaI
…you sure its love not lust ? sometimes loneliness made us made wrong decision and jump to the first man that said love to us, we’re weak creature in heart. Don’t make wrong decision, especially because you have your son rely on you. If you think this is the best not only for you but also for your son, then do it.
I have a stable job, good house from work, savings in account, and have a car. I really have a good live here in Indo. He wants me to marry him and quit everything here. but the probem is his job is only a floor manager at nite in a restaurant n at day time he runs his own plumbing job. he has no savings at all. And I found that he really loves me so much that I never expect.
Now he wants me to take 2 months day leaves from work, and I know if I take it I will loose my promotion. 🙁Read more: https://indonesiamatters.com/359/dating-indonesian-girls/cp-59/#comments#ixzz0MtFIV1JX
Love, you just could embrace it when it comes. I know the feeling tho… hehe.. but are you really ready to let go all of that and start all over again ? i mean this is far far away land. And lots of differences not only about incomes, what you have and what you dont have, you will have cultures, language, and of course priorities.
You want to marry with someone without savings AT ALL?? are you sure ?? when you went there you will be depend on him, well for at least several weeks or months until if you want to get another job there.I am not being bitter, just trying to give some point of views…
He knows that I’m doubting him. He said he will send the papers I need for visa application, if in 2 months I don’t come, he will come and stay in indonesia. this man is really serious with me, n it scares me. And so far I heard that marrying him in his country is very difficult. And I’m so worried about me and my son future over there…since I have no job anymore. What if we divorced???
Read more: https://indonesiamatters.com/359/dating-indonesian-girls/cp-59/#comments#ixzz0MtGBDfUB
rather choose indonesian guys, less complicated. But if you like complicated stuff.. there you go… you have problems approaching you now..
Comment on “Dating Indonesian Girls”.
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@Kodew
When you are from bright light big city it is most likely your first contacts with Indonesia is indeed big city as well. If you are lucky more Depok than Chililitan or Blok M.
Very little chance to be with kayan dayak from day 1. By the way more than 80% of all roepia in the whole country are in larger Jakarta area so everything that think to be important rush to that moneypot.
Nakal is very difficult to translate. I would not use the word bad for that. I doubt even if the word is not too much a cultural thing so maybe only indonesian people know and can be nakal sometimes. Many other people can be bad.
Nakal also is diffent for a girl than for a boy I expect.
I did not meet singaporian cantik dan nakal (yet!)
Maturnuwun is bahasa soenda ??