Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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Acapellorustic says:
Hi to Mishmash, Patang, Farah, Anna and Bubbly (sorry to anyone left out I am just replying to this from memory) and also hi to you if you are just reading my post for the first time. Well, well, well….I took your collective advice and poured my heart out over a fruit salad, she was drinking hot chocolate and I opted for a bottle of corona (a hot whisky would have been good but whisky breath? maybe not a good idea for a first impression). I had a little speech in my mind already rehearsed to help splutter out my feelings in a controlled, timely sort of way – of course, I forgot part of what I was going to say but had asked her to keep silent and hear me out, all I needed was a few seconds to remember and continue again. After I finished speaking I told her that these are my feelings but not to be sympathetic or anything, just tell how she feels so I can know where to take our friendship. She needed the toilet! We both saw the funny side and we were feeling a bit more relaxed – me, especially, a huge burden lifted off my shoulders – then she explained to me that she had been feeling the same way towards me but trying to dampen her feelings cos she didn’t know if they were true or not. I explained to her I can’t contain my feelings anymore and had to tell her. We left the restaurant hand in hand, I told her I was looking forward to finally giving her cuddle sometime but then she playfully reminded me that she hadn’t given me the full answer yet! Lol! But I really would have to be deaf and blind not to realise that she has special feelings for me too 🙂 And so, my little contribution to this thread comes to a happy ending but in the real world I look forward to a whole new very happy beginning :-)) Thanks again for your advice!
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Farah says:
@ Acapellorustic
yay ! yay !!! Reading your comment the first time i do this morning and it does made me smile (prob will stay all day !!)
I always looovvveee the happy ending !Anyway…. finally you know the truth and its end up good way. Even she haven’t answer you ..yet. Still i am happy to know the fact that he doesn’t respond negatively to you ! its a good sign !
Should hold on the cuddle a bit, or you will scare her because she will think that you only want to have the fun, not the long terms thing..just an advice (again).
Wish your relationship ended with happiness for all ! 🙂 good job buddy !
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@ alan
What do you want for her then ?If you love her that much and want a serious long term, married her, attach to her and you wont regret, wont complain about your money goes where or how much.
If you just want to have fun and have her just for your escort during your stay in Indonesia then the money should be sent to her.. i could see you are “keeping her” for good. Unless you want to share with other guys tho….
You are not taken advantage if you sleep with her, its a “service” pay. You use her and you will pay for that. And because you claimed to be attached means she can’t work or play with other guys, you should pay for her expenses, whether you are in indonesia or not.
Sorry to be so bitter when i said it.. but thats just the fact that i (maybe some others too, or even her) see it that way.
We call woman like her “simpanan” quiet common thing. And nothing is for free for that kin of woman.(gosh.. i am so harsh.. sorry).
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Kinch says:
^
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——- Fully in favour of Happy Endings -
anna says:
Farah
hmm… mostly its true.. but theres some of my rich friend, guys are down to earth too.
Down to earth, only to other rich friends, but then when it come to poor people who need help, forget it.
that is jerk, part of it anyway.But thanks anyway.
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Tony says:
Happy new year to all !! a week ago i sent my gf? 10 mill rp for new year present, she so happy and really love me, and always waiting me, again, what a joke, she took off to lombok and is hanging out with a bryan adams lookalike, she sms me say just friends, ya ya ya, i need therapy, next sunday i am back in bali, i have a cunning plan, she will be at the airport and i intend to arrive with a new? gf? from jakarta who i met on the internet, well, i cant wait to see her face when i arrive, jope she knows how it feels to be shit on. i cant wait to share this !!
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avi says:
tony stop throwing away money at her.
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Farah says:
@ Tony
..bbbwwahahahahahahahaha !!!Easy come easy go Tony….if you give her 10 million.. well.. other white guys could do the same. You buy her love and she went for the highest bidder ! (what a smart girl!!).
Anyway learn from your mistakes… don’t fall like a fool.. you are not the only bule in these world. If you want her for your self tie the knot. Anyway.. that could led to another problem in certain circumstances… (which is not recommended with that girl).
But share the story okay !! hehehe… (i don’t like the girl or anyone unfaithful or dishonest a.ka liars !!!)
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yeah i know, its soo stupid, but lesson has been learned, no more swings and roundabouts for me, toughen up, get real,
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tie the knot farah? what around her neck? well, i would not go that far. whats the highest bidder? i guess she has 10 people sending her western union right now, thats easy aint it. takes time to learn some tricks, wish i had a few more up my sleeve, life is a bitch, so they say, than you meet one… hmmmmmm, something to ponder on……
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@ tony
… good.. hope your plan work well ya !sometimes people said revenge is bad, but for the sake of your ego.. do it (hehehe).
And life must go on, theres a lot of marlins in the blue sea (better than small reg fish..) all you need to do just be patience and use a proper bait and right season and of course place.
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@ tony
hehehe.. not with her sweety !
Hope she will be your history. Highest bidder means, if theres someone else sending her 10 million rupiahs plus a new sedan and take her for holidays, sure she will go with that guy. Or if then she find someone who could give more than that.. she will switch gears again, and turn to another direction.
Like i said, easy come easy go… easy to get easy to slipped from your arms.
Holidays hunny always did that. You only kept her for fun, thats what she knows anyway.
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Aluang Anak Bayang says:
@ Tony
Stop listening to IM biatchs slandering their own sister. What are they doing anyway trolling only the “Dating Indonesian Girls” thread?
Most Indon women think bules are here for fun and not serious with long term relationship. Who cares if she was an ex-prostie? If you love her, you do need to let her know you are serious and you meant it. She had to change her way if she wanted to be with you. I have known many ex-prosties who are happily married to bule and had made a fresh start. They can because no Indon women want to be a postie just because they are horny.
Brother, be a man. Your happiness is your own destiny. The ball is in your court.
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@ AAB
Stop listening to IM biatchs slandering their own sister. What are they doing anyway trolling only the “Dating Indonesian Girls” thread?
….sisters ?? last time i went to Bali and meet some of them… they NEVER see me as sister and offer all of sisterhood sweet things. Same like in Jakarta.
Maybe they are sisters for you sweety or opposite sex only(a.ka guys), but not for me, i am not a friend to liars, double face or traitors for their own kin (woman).
Some are nice and friendly (prostitute), but mostly just act like b*tch.
Hehehe.. i thought this web site NOT a dating website.. or…is it ??? (slutty biatch on action, looking for stupid bule to be fooled on this site).. HA-HA! (thats really funny AAB).
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@ Tony
btw.. AAB is right about looking for your own happiness, its your decision to made it happened.
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Count Nomis says:
Alan, you’re pathetic.
Grow a pair!
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Pedro says:
Will be visiting Jakarta soon. I am a bit older but wanted to meet some nice (Maybe bad) girls to see if there is a good place to later on retire and continue to live. Have been in jakarta before and have so far liked it very much. Any propositions what to look for and where. Thanks in advance
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Goddess_in_paradise says:
Have not been in this forum for a while until today…and my my did I find a lot of posts added! 😀 At least I am glad that the topic is back to “Dating Indonesian Girls”. A while ago it has gone way too far from this (recalling the Farah-Kinch convo :D) and to stay focus on what everyone had to say was not easy.
Acapellorustic, reading your post, I must say that I felt as if I was reading at some script of a scene taken out of a romantic comedy film 🙂 I am glad that you both found each other. It truly makes some of us, if not all, believe again that such a happy ending does exist. May be we can all have hopes again 🙂
I guess to find such love, one has to be in the right place, at the right time, and oh make the right moves hey 😉
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Oh and by the way, Alan and Tony, the women you happen to be dating or be with are the reason why some expatriates look down on Indonesian women. Very unfortunate.
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@ GIP : You’re just a Philistine. Farah is a kind of jungly Heloise, and I’m the Abelard of Buledom! Ungelded too, no less.
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@ GIP
A while ago it has gone way too far from this (recalling the Farah-Kinch convo :D) and to stay focus on what everyone had to say was not easy.
Wonder why you didn’t say anything about that when that happened, instead of saying you have objection with that now ?
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Andrew of Oz says:
@ Tony
You’re a jerk.
You come across a person who is unreliable and uncommitted. The lady in question is oriental. Strange as it may sound, she is testing your sincerity. My heart goes out to her.
Listen to your own heart.
@ Farah
….sisters ?? last time i went to Bali and meet some of them… they NEVER see me as sister and offer all of sisterhood sweet things. Same like in Jakarta.
This is malicious. You should know better not to paint everyone with the same brush. I am afraid you have lost all credibility with your acrid statement.
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This is malicious. You should know better not to paint everyone with the same brush. I am afraid you have lost all credibility with your acrid statement.
I know life sometimes hard sweety. But i did said after that, some of them are nice. Its just based on my experience meet some of the worker girls in bali bar in Kuta. I think i am too intimidate them somehow (wink wink). I also ever work in woman law advocacy. Not the very first time see night workers like them. Some i like some i don’t like. I like one or two of them that i met, that simply very happy person, a woman that made you smile (yes i met that kind of woman)
Most thing that i don’t like is, sometimes they hate other girls because they envy. Good girls have better life while they have to work like that. My question is simple, because my luck is good with my family, i had better life with better education, work, etc, give them right to hate me and act like that to me? no is the answer.If i am being mean to them, they surely could do the same to me, but if i just sit there enjoy the night, enjoy friendly chat with friends, do i deserve some smoke puff on my face ? or the back talk ?
Sure never happened to you, because all of those girls really sweet to you.
But like i said, i am commenting on my experiences. Not all black is black or white is white theres sometimes grey too, i know that.
hmmm…. to be honest, I don’t know if this jungle girl statement have credibility for you. To loss it from someone whos not really completely read my WHOLE statement…. i wont mind at all 😉
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Did not surprise me that the post which would show up after mine would be Kinch’s or Farah’s…
Farah, the reason I did not interfere when you both had the quite amusing convo is that I probably had better things to do than bursting the bubble. Plus, it was not of my interest to follow the posts that was no longer related to the original post. I came to comment on it now is simply because I am glad that the orginal issue is back on the track.
This being said, you may or may not be happy with it. But I am not going to argue on this.
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@GIP – I doubt we would stoop to argue with you, but please do tell which doctor did your sense-of-humour-ectomy. Sometimes I fear I’m too hilarious and need to get serious.
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Dyakultua bwa says:
for “Dewi”…
Having FUN is not just confined to “Western” Culture…
you talk about “Western” Culture and Boles having sex for fun as something alien to Indonesians…
so what about my Indonesian “Muslim” Neighbors, who have had extra marital affairs before getting married into polygamy type relationships… ?
and lets talk about Indonesia “Dang-Dut” and the “Muslim” Indonesians who leave there wives behind and go there for FREE SEX at the weekends…
and what about the Indonesian women who lye, cheat, and marry Boles for ‘money scams’, then run away to another City so not even the Indonesian Police can find them?
how can you say you are Indonesian Dewi when you don’t understand your own culture!
also join ‘TRIP ADVISOR’ and tell the idiots on that site what Indonesians refer to Westerners as – ‘Boles’ (same taunt/slander as ‘Nigger’ for African’s)…
maybe when Indonesia women stop being so totally racist towards ‘Boles’ then one day the rest of the world will take more notice of the crap you seem to say about yourselves!
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Genny says:
Always read this site, figured I’d chime in.
I am a second generation American ( bule as you would say) of Swiss/Italian descent living near Philadelphia, PA and have never been to Indonesia. From my previous job, I had the pleasure to meet quite a few expats and many who have naturalized here. Have been introduced to the culture, language ( though its a hard one and not good at yet), food, ect, ect of Indonesia. Here is an auslanders view on the subject and be short with my views and will elaborate if anyone wants. Don’t want the long post so AAB yells at me
Western men and values – I tend to see that all men can be viewed in the ways that some here of posted, and from the comments, many here seem to verify that. Goodness is in the heart, not the color of ones skin. The “free sex in the west” posts are hilarious, and its not as such. This is a false assumption that one perceives from our media and I am sure a few arse’s that are working there in Jakarta verify it, but one can’t judge all from a few. I could go on but it seems everyone has their opinion which makes for better discussion.
Asian women and values – I tend to find that they hold family and friends along with values much more closer then woman here do. It’s is rare to find one who act’s like a typical suburban white woman. Religion is held with more value too. Very demanding in life in general, but in the areas where any woman would want things improved and a better foundation built upon.
My personnel experience – Lived with a Korean American for 2 years, never married ( never have) which was by mutual consent ( we were young!!) and she ended up going back to the homeland to go get her doctorate degree, landed a fat job in Seoul, and that was that. Off and on relationships with ladies from several races, I met an ethnic Chinese Indonesian who came here after the Mei 98 via Taiwan in 2003. I met her in 2006 from a mutual friend at work. As I read one poster say “Asian gal-pal” at first and we got serious after a year to the point of marriage last summer. Went to immigration lawyer and she was late by 2 months in applying for reinstatement visa and she had claimed political asylum when she first arrived ( JKT was still pretty bad for the ethnic Chinese when she first arrived) so he explained she would probably be denied since that problem isn’t officially recognized anymore and was a good chance that when she showed up for review process, she would be arrested and sent to Newark Detention INS Center and with the backlog of cases, may even be deported back by the time her case would be up. After a long and very painful ( for both) we agreed best she just go back on own accord and we see what we can do. Since then, I have been laid off from my job ( IT field and no jobs here in our great economy now !!) and sadly, we have grown farther apart since. So safe to say that didn’t work per the game plan but that’s the way of the world I hear!! Haven’t seen anyone seriously since but still talk to many “gal-pals”
So, in essence, race and religion CAN play a huge part in a relationship if you let it. In my cases, was never the case, just unlucky at love I guess. I agree with many, disagree with a few too, but I just wanted to lightly touch on it
Hope to comment and debate on a few more forums here too.
Sorry for wasting 5 mins of your life. LOL
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Alfa says:
I think dating Indonesian girls or other is all the same, it’s just how we deal with it. The differences, etc. Man or women around the world basically are the same. Some bad and some good. It’s just how we choose it. We have brain to choose which one is good and which one is not. So, just face it.
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crocketman says:
Genny –
Indeed the job or lack of – both can make a good thing either impossible or improbable – esp when your partner is half a world away.
Some years back I had a soulmate from Malaysia – she got a uni scholarship in England – while at nearly the same time got a job in I’sia (after 8 months of looking for anything everywhere). I went to England (actually went out of US to S’pore then I’sia via UK instead of going the typical westcoast route – yes it was higher priced) to see her & we had 2 weeks of bliss. After getting to I’sia the work was full tilt. I could get a few days off but not a full week – thus any trip would be a turn around. She did not want me to burn the money and myself. We both hoped to find a way even over a year later – for sure there’s a long story to all this – and yeah me future myopic lah – it did not work out.
Distance whether it makes the heart grow fonder or not IS a real engima and indeed luck – like some people do get lucky rolling dice to 7’s ten or more times in row.
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In aug 08 I went to jak and meet a lady who was working in a karoke, she was nice and I fall for her, I help her set up a hairdressing saloon so she could look after herself and her children, up to this day I have given her almost about 60k Singapore dollars yet every month or two she will ask for few thousand dollars for this or that and the sad part is, I am still giving her because I really love her, I know she is taking advantage of me but I can’t say no to her.