Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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Lanang, I’m sure I can help, once I’m quite clear on which particular relationship needs blossoming, don’t know if we want to go in this direction though, it’s fraught with all sorts of dangers.
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Lanang says:
Is it really? Oh well, it’s the thought that counts. Thanks, Patung.
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Egor says:
Hola, for all asia. I’m 23/male/Ukraine. One time I was in Jakarta and I must to say that Indonesian girls really impressive me. Thay are very beautifull girls and I’d like to meet with someone at least for communications. :):):)
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micmoc says:
Hi I am newbie here.. but I have read a lot until I decide to register and join.
I am girl 24 y/o and I have some western man_only chat mates_ we never meet.
Some of them want to meet me in jakarta but I say I can’t. I live in other propinsi.This forum is really good and i know many things from here.
I am so glad find this room.What I like about this room is we are from both side I mean west side and east side.
And I like the honesty here.. all the comment is so honest and I like it.Well I have to say that relationship with two different culture is really complicated.
Some may work but another is just failed.My english is not so good but I hope you guys can get what I mean.
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Farah says:
@ micmoc
Welcome sista !
hehehe.. i am not from jakarta too… in sumatra actually.
Well i have lots of white guys as chat friends.. its okay…. they’re good for sharing thoughts, and very ..hehe open minded, and sometimes more encouraging me to do things that i never thought before.. i mean like traveling solo abroad, or getting higher education, etc.…and.. when i was i univ i know several girls that finally married with a guy they meet on internet. Too bad i don’t know how they are doing now.. 🙂
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DMan says:
Farah
Why was this forum/thread strictly promoting bule/white guy/orang putih dating Indonesian women. What is wrong with single cool, contemporary and modern Indonesian guys? Even I admit there few of us like me over there. Actually I am Indonesian-American born in NY USA and still single. Saya bisa bicara bahasa Indonesia meskipun saya tidak lancar. Saya ganteng. Yeah I could marry a white women here in the States. but part of me does not want to forget who I am and I appreciate the attractive/cantik women there when I had visited Jakarta/Indonesia back in 2006. Hopefully I can return next year or 2010 and perhaps find me a wife if she wants to live with me here in the US now that Barack is Presden.
I don’t mean to be rude, but aren’t you the one or another female poster here who had a child with a white guy from the US and he unfortunately rejected you for another women here in the US. A lot of guys here do that white, black and hispanic and some Asian. I am not against Interracial/intereligious relationships. I don’t like people who inherently exclude dating their own kind and think the white guy is the best thing on Earth. Unfortunately I see this with Asian females here who think and date this way.
Peace to you and I hope you understand where I am coming from. Terimah kasih banyak atas jawabaan. -
Keyway says:
Hello everyone … I am Australian and have been involved in business in Indonesia since 1993 . I have recently been divorced from my Australian wife ( thank God ) and have met and formed a relationship with a beautiful Javanese lady . She brings everything to my life that was missing in my previous relationship ….. loyalty , sensuality , culture , partnership and honesty .
To find this women , I formed a precise picture in my mind of the type of Javanese women I was looking for , it took some time , some very lonely nights , but eventually we found each other , and she is more than I could ever have wished for.
I can only speak from my own experience that Indonesian women can be many things , but if you are wanting a serious relationship , one based on love , understanding and commitment then you will find it . If you are serious then they will give you more than you ever thought possible .
I have read many of the posts here over time , and have seen the all too familiar situations , short term relationships gone bad … Like any relationship anywhere in the world… the basis has to be solid from the start or it is doomed to failure . You have to really want the real thing in order to find it .
Peace be with you all . -
Tony says:
All the bule I know in Bali have been taken for a ride, magic carpet ride.
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avi says:
Well at least its getting back too dating topic.
Hi I’m 25 y/o mixed male that just moved to jakarta on business. -
BubblyBlue says:
i dont think i can remember even 1 bule who wants to have a serious relationship here in jakarta… but some people said that even if you’re a very loyal husband (bule) in your hometown (like from US or Europe), once you come to jakarta, you will go back to your hometown and ask for a divorce… is that true?!?! 😉
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Farah says:
@ Dman
Sorry if you haven’t read all of my comment (just too many i know !).No, i don’t have any daughter from american guy or anyone. I am single.
My father is a 100% indonesian man, malay race. I love him, and he is a good father and the most kind guy in the world that i ever known in my life.The things is…
I am an independent girl, with much better salary than most of guys in my town. My height is 173 cms, im avarage. My english is good, i am good student with some achievement, athletic, adventurous, stubborn, bold, straight talking and can’t really cook.
Not a good indonesian wife to be.
I found that my relationship with all indonesian man that i date is quite hilarious. Its my bad luck.
One i had a bf that date me because my dad money and i drive car at high school. Other one is breaking up, well.. i ditch him because he ask to much. When i could accept all of what ever he is. He not even allow me using short on basketball game during my university, hilarious… and after few weeks he banned me to do it.. the game that i love, instead supporting. Oh, and he kept saying “oh you should learn cooking like my mom.. or you should do clean up like any other girls”. Most indonesian guys that i met here in my “smallville” if they know my abilities (which is nothing to compare to big cities girls) feels under pressure, and see me as their competitor rather than as their loving couple. If they found me already changing the burnt bulb they will frown and ask why can’t i call them.. (just for that? get real). They mostly like girls with fair skin, and long black hair, and so on (not all guys.. i know.. again !). But its most of them.. its just made me feel that i have to be person who i am not ! (i have yellowish/darker skin, wavy hair). Also being so tall above average.. geez !!!!! tall indonesian guys are one in million here at my city.. maybe in jakarta too. I rarely see someone much taller than me. I am still a girl, need someone could stood for me, a shoulder to cry maybe ??I just had enough okay.
Why white guys ?
Well i never really specify white guys is a must. But from my previous relationship, i found that they are more supportive and could appreciate things that i do or say. Never really judge me, and more democratic, more expressive with words or simply small things, like say “THANK YOU” or “thanks hun” or “i really appreciate things that you do”. They encourage me to be independent and my ability, i could do what ever i want even though i am “just a girl”. They open my eyes to things that i never thought, break the taboo. They even made me love my culture more ! never think about my out look (darker skin is sexy, full lips so tempting).
Ohhhh… sure they just human. Some are jerk. But still… even with their jerk thoughts they still have the side that made me who i am now (an indonesia girl that know her capability).
But sorry dman.. thats my preferences…. people have their like and dislike based on their previous experiences… my experiences said.. i prefer white guys (but still open for any indonesian guys that WILLING to cook or made breakfast sometimes).
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@ dman
one other thing…If more guys like you, a smart, modern indonesian guy not to be picky with the one you date, and could accept any indonesian woman for who they are.. maybe none of indonesian married expat (ha-ha! good joke..)
…so none of indonesian woman dying to get whiter pale skin, or act dumb while they actually have exotic looks, very smart and independent.
You could find any girl in indonesia, especially if you looks like bule, hehehehe… jakarta girls will chase/hunt you.
I could even bet you will have a girl dying to marry you less than 6 month. (Dare to bet?)
I am 100% malay, speak fluent indonesia, raised here in indonesia.
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cRazy woman! 2 years down the road, i am on bizznizz in europe, i call her every day, we had wedding plans, xmas day we chat on im, please forgive me, i meet man for fun, just 3 days darling, nothing just fun, i am so sorry you still want me? yes of course i still want you, whats good for the goose is good for the gander, i also playing away, so the world is one happy place, correct………..
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@ Tony. So sorry to hear that Tony… what about now? Are you still single? 😉
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yes, thats that with her. oh well was great well it lasted, guess i will have to get myself another one. Hope she knows how to keep her legs closed while i am away. Should buy a padlock and throw away the key……
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@ Tony … well, at least you found out early before you have committed in a marriage with her, that’s the bright side of the story. Let the past be the lesson for you… 🙂 Cheers!
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@ tony
Kind of agree wth bubly. Better u know now.
Still my smart line would be easy to get easy to go.
If shes so easy to get to ur bed why do u think she wont do that with other guys?..but long distance do need trust. Just too bad its happening to u..
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Farah
I appreciate you replying finally. Saya minta maaf kalau saya salah dengan kamu. I did not mean to be disrespectful to you or the woman here who posted that she had a child out of wedlock from a guy from Texas USA. There are a number of players out there and where I live in the US who just want to sleep and have sex and then dump the woman. I am not like that. I have interacted with beauties of all races here on the East Coast NY and I am open-minded but I probably prefer to marry and have children with a contemporary, attractive Indonesian/Asian woman. There are only about 100,000-200,000 Indonesians here spread out here in the US immigrants or ones who were born here like me so we are a small number compared to the other Asians.Saya ingin ada jujur dengan kamu. Even I am going for the light-skin Indonesian-Asian woman manis dan seksi seperti Bunga Citra Lestari, Sandra Dewi, Inul Daratista or Susan Bacthiar. I am spritual and not too religious. Yes I was raised Muslim but I got tired of the rise of the extemist fundamentalists and those who have sympathy for them as I had too live through 9/11/01 in NY as I used to work there WTC and my mother’s hotel got destroyed there. I am sure you are not attracted to those pribumi fundamentalist types too and I would not blame you. I am not sure if you live in Palembang or Medan or Riau, but I am sure you don’t find too many white/bule guys there. All my relatives live in Jakarta, Semarang, Bandung or Yogjakarta.
Farah I hope you find the right man Indonesian or bule. Saya ingin menikah sekali kalau saya mencari isteri yang indah di Indonesia dan I could get a fiance visa for here and join me in the US. Unfortunately I heard divorce is on the rise in Indonesia as it is here in the US 50% rate. Peace to you sister.
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@ dman
Well… after reading your comment, yes i ever had relationship with a texas guy, but no child involve. We broke up because he a”accidentally” made his friend pregnant.
Could also happened with any other guys in the whole universe, even indonesia guys could do same mistake anyway.You do sound like a good indonesian guy, so like i said.. it would be very easy for you to find someone to marry here (bet girls are drooling for you in jakarta or other big cities).
When i say i prefer white guys, i know the consequences as much as i know the consequences of having a relationship with indonesian/local guys.
Yes i didn’t find much bule here, just some at my work place. And i never date anyone from my office, its just a big no for me. Beside that, i didn’t do married guys.. as they all are married (i am not that blind and stupid). I met them also when i was traveling, or from internet.
I just wish i am in an environment where i could be with more people, knowing other cultures and languages always fascinating me, thats why i love traveling, not just want to feel comfort inside my cocoon.
You too dman, hope you find someone like BCL or Sandra Dewi. We have same idea about marriage. One for a lifetime. You should be able too see inside the woman, not only the outlook, could last longer if you do that. Not only because shes pretty or always obey you, should have her own personality.. well.. you know it lah ! Saya tidak perlu mengajarkan apa yang terbaik buat kamu.
Cheerio !!
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sirlord says:
Hi all,
browsed the net to find out the best place to party and have a good time ..and i bumped into this forum.
am planning a trip to Jakarta with my bunch of buddies, 5 of us this feb 05th 2009..hope to get recommendations from you all..
so far, we’ve only come across stadium X2, and few of it..but since this will be our first trip there, we hope the memory remains forever with us..
when we say good time, it ‘s not only about booze and e’s, but good companionship and etc..hope anyone can enlighten us. thanks..
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@sirlord. Stadium is a very famous place for people to have e’s and if I’m not mistaken, in weekend, they open from Friday to Sunday non stop! If you’re really into e, well, it can be a good place, but I found the surrounding there a little bit scary. If you’re new and no one from here who know that place well, its better to avoid Stadium!
in X2 well, mostly the people who go there are those who are below 25th, there are some that are above 25th, but very rare. But anyway, they have 4 rooms with different kind of music, that’s what cool about this place, and I guess the most famous one is the r&b room (I forgot the name of room!)
Dragonfly is my favorite place as they have a very nice crowd, very sophisticated, the music is good, the drink is good, and the place is nice… the only problem is that you have to queue a lil bit and also what i like about this place is, you have to be above 25 (or to look like you’re above 25) to get in and of course, you have to dress up (no shorts, sandals and tshirts).
Buddha Bar is also a nice place, even the drink is quite expensive but its okay… but I dont think this place will be nice if you’re having e’s :p
Expats usually loveeeee so much to go to Red Square (across X2), because there are a lot of sexy girls who dance so wild (but here, most of us consider them as prostitutes haha) well, the place itself is really really small, but just believe me, if you’re an expat, you will love this place :p
Another nice place to hang out is in Social House, Grand Indonesia. Its not a place to party, just a lounge but really nice.
Anyway, usually me and friends have the route like this : Buddha Bar, if not so fun there, we move to Dragon Fly, if not so fun here, we move to X2 and if not so fun here, we move to Red Square (if not so fun here, we chose to stay here or go back to X2 coz we just need to walk across the parking lot in Plaza Senayan) 😉
That’s all for now, hope it helps you guys! 😀 Cheers!!
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thanks bubbly and farah,
i must be going mad! she’s so sorry please forgive me, bla bla bla.
Thing is i think still want her, i dont know why, i would not do it here, why i do it there?
She wants me send her money for her birthday and to go out and party new years eve, and she promise she just waiting me? i trust her or not? i am going mad here. -
@ Tony – Never trust a person who ask you to send them money, especially if they want to use the money to have fun, she thinks that you’re a money machine? Just be logic, you’re a man and man usually really good in this!
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i know it’s so weird, she does not work, just ask for money all the time, say need this need that, go salon and make up and massage , ciggarettes, this all when i am in bali, when i am not there she need buy all same including condoms, i cant get to her from here, when i am back to bali i think i should make her come back down to earth with a bump. how……….
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shawty says:
feel sorry to sarah
one guy missunderstood u..
yeah he didnt read all ur post 🙂Dman..
i found one guy like u from net
he is mixed indo – netherland
and he said want to marry indo girls
even though
somewhat indo cultures is not really match to caucasian cultures
Im in europe at the moment and counting on
still i find the cultural gap somehow killing me
and drives me crazy
no matter how much i claimed my self as open minded, easy going and etc
well i do
those caucasian guys are somehow really crazy and terrified me sometimes
well good luck in finding asian wife and face the cultural gap heheTony
well theres still some guys like tony in this earth..
can i find one please hahaha lolfor those that will travel to indo..
go to nature attraction rather than booze
u had enoughh in ur country, didnt u ? lol
hehe just a thought
Indonesian nature are just too great to be missing out by clubbingand for those that using internet to find western guy, just becarefull
i met one guy recently
he always online to get friends
travel to asian lot..too much i guess hehe
sleeep with any asian girls as much as he can
and free..i mean no charge..
all those girls he slept with keep sending him message on facebook,chat and etc.
and act like they have great relationship..
However he stayed with one malaysian girl, shared bed and room and etc
this malaysian girl is a doctor ( high quality ) and he admitted that he never sleep with her even they shared bed..cos the girl is good muslim and virgin..
somehow i find this guy looks like indo guy
that want to get virgin wife but he totally jerk and sleazy lol
and unfortunately this kind of guys are just toooooooo many in this earth
save the best for the last..so hati hati para ce semua 🙂
phew…happy new year everyone.. -
The second most stupid thing to dating sluts, are giving advice to those who date sluts, and actually pretend that you care. If this happens in reality, people normally would smirk and think, what are you? Stupid? Get a life.
And have a happy new year.
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guess i must be stupid then. a friend of mine in bali who was taken to the cleaners twice has a notto, f— em and f— en off. thats just not me. cant help it. ya she is a slut, a ex prossie, i want take her away from that shit, but seems that once a slut always a slut, true? driving me nuts !!! guess i will buy some for her…….
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Farah
It’s good that you have some morals unlike some men here. I not going to pass judgement but consenting adults have to take responsibilty if they are to engage in sex regardless of their background. Would you have moved to America if your ex-boyfriend did the right thing and propose to you and get you a fiance visa and help you with immigration (help pay for Passport, Green Card or Permanent Residence and SS card) live with him in America Texas. I could do the same thing Saya wartanegara American. Saya bisa masak- biasanya nasi-goreng with shrimp and eggs/telur. There are other dishes I can cook too.
Shawty
I admit I am somewhat more westernized Indonesian-American professional as I follow other Asian minorities here Chinese, Indian, Filipino etc. to make a better life here economically and socially. It will be better now that Barack Obama will become Presiden next month/year as I know the history of him as a black minority man in America as well as his connection with Indonesia. Kebudayaan/Culture di antara America dan Indonesia berbeda meskipun Indonesia menjadi lebih modern. I know some fellow Indonesian-Americans who intermarry usually with whites. I am not going to judge them, because I had dated white women, but I am not sure I want mixed race children myself. I try not to forget who I am. Its hard as usually more Asian women here intermarry usually with whites. Peace to you Shawty Here is what I look like http://i531.photobucket.com/albums/dd355/DManOne/DMC.jpg -
Tony
maybe she using magic
some indo girls use it lol
trueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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