Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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Farah says:
@ jawa asli
…speak for.. errh the sex matters ??
as i said “Most good indonesian girls waiting until their wedding night and stay virgin due to religion (islam) quite strict here i think its all the same with other religion tho… but sure its depends on those girls personality… but yeah.. we prefer sex after marriage.”
i did said.. most.. did i? most means… not ALL..? isn’t it ?
I am talking about most sumatra girls that i know. I don’t want to talk about things that i DON’T KNOW. I went to most places in sumatra, Lampung, Palembang, Jambi, Riau, Padang (i think thats over 80 % sumatra). Most of girls that i met are not that easy girl or “bintang dirt cheap”. Most girls at batam are from java. Not all originally from sumatra (if you’re thinking about this option).
So 50 % are not virgin ? what in the world you’re talking about ?? you made us, indonesian woman sound like a nasty slut.
…but sure you sound like a guy who know where to get those girls even in sumatra, hehehe… (rolling my eyes)
@ Patrick & Kinch
Yeah, you could come to durian party. Last night before i went back to my jungle rig i have some..
Yes i heard about durian in penang, i think yeah its quite same… its abit yellowish and thick with small seed, and taste sweet ! yums…Durian is aphrodisiac ??? euuh ! hahaha i love it but i dont know about that guys ! hahaha…. it might made the body feel warmth because the alcohol in it. But durian made someone want to … hahahaha !
its smelly for sure ! (thinking about how its not so romantic kissing someone that just ate durian !)
…..what is it with the machete and durian fight ?
Kinch, jealous ?? ehhhh… no.. he wont…he would love to share the durian, right kinch ?
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kinch says:
@Farah: I guess if eat enough durian to get some benefit from it -> not care if smelly or not 🙂
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@ Kinch
… as long as you don’t do the durian burp !… euuhhhhh… hehehe -
@Farah: Don’t worry, I only burp when it amuses me to do so 🙂
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@ Kinch
hehehe … glad to hear that… (some how.) -
Goddess_in_paradise says:
Hello people 😉 Funny how I came across this site when I was actually looking for information on Indonesia’s economic situation. Having said that, I am quite intrigued with the content of the site and so decided to take a look, and fell under this discussion. It is indeed a delicate subject to discuss about. So, after reading through some of the comments (would have liked to read them all, but it’s not an easy task 😉 ), I’d like to share my thoughts on it. Interracial relationship (be it Indonesian girl dating an expat, etc) do have its share of complexity, but I still believe that it all comes down to one’s personality. It is sometimes a little unjust to judge someone merely based on nationalities, cultures, and so on. So to say that Indonesian girls mostly only go for goodlooking caucasian men or that caucasian men could not commit to serious relationships and only enjoy the cheap sex, and so on….sounds quite prejudiced.
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dessy says:
Dear all….
I hv been read all comments here about indonesian girls dating bule.Some girls maybe dating cos of money but its not they want,maybe they pushed by life and economic.Some girls dating cos love and its very difficult to hv cos many bule bad prejudice about indonesian girl.But i think its more wise to us if we hv been hurt from other people we take it as lesson to our life and we will become strong and will be careful for life but not bad prejudice.take that as our life experience even if its more easy talking than feel it.Nobody is perfect but as long as we hv love in our heart and give all our love to other people,people will do same to us.life is not difficult but we make it more difficult and complicated.Maybe some people will be proud hurting other people heart but i guarantee,they will always feel guilty.Some people will be proud fight for their love so keep fight for ur happiness cos it was u who feel it. -
crocketman says:
Many expats get married to ladies they meet at bars. While some of these marriages turn out okay, I see more than many that are not good. As said by someone else here, a majority of expats are adventurous and like challenges both at work and in life.
Unfortunately, many to most expats do not have a lot of freetime and often little energy leftover after all the work related hours, and often do not know where or how to meet ladies that are not hookers. I am not saying hookers are all bad, but there is a majority that are not good for life partners. There are ladies that hook part-time and have thier day jobs too, they are actually a good catch as these ladies work and are brave enough to go out and find ways to make ends meet. To my view this is adventurous and they are using what ways that are available to bring thenselves out of thier current situtation. Those that have had a family background to get them through schooling beyond high school are the rare lucky ones.
The fulltime hooker lifestyle – meaning ladies that do nothing but hook for a long time – instills laziness, bad waking hours, and degrades many aspects real life work skills and whatsmore good social skills. Obviously economics and what kind of family background she has force the great majority into this situation and being most companies salaries are so low that work provides literally only enough money to barely house and feed themselves. There are good examples of those with not much for higher education but do survive on the 9 to 5, – even get to the point of say buying a car – but those are few and far between. Another point is the view of short term ingrained by being a hooker and if a problem does come up in the relationship – the hooker is many times more apt to just walk away from it all, and find someone else. A non-hooker once the family really knows about her being involved with an expat could be a good benefit to help both through bad situations. But this is a deep dark subject as many expats do end up having to help support the wider family. I have been told the best is to find a lady who is an only child or only one brother or sister.
I think even worse than being a hooker – sorry to say – is being a housemaid and being sent to the Middle East. There is a whole secret world out there of what happens to these young girls. This is a new era, even just 15 years ago the numbers were very few of these housemaids going any further than Singapore. I have seen the other side briefly and the hordes at airport like Doha and Dubai. I absolutely salute these ladies for their braveness and I also am very sad that they are stuck into this abyss of a bad deal. Bad pay, work like slaves, and who knows how many cases of being used as a sex toy and onwards to ongoing raping inside the house. This particular thing is hugely unreported – and they need help somehow someway. Politics come into play as I’sia does not want to complain and thus slow down the flow. On the other side the I’sian ladies are below 3rd class and any reports are stopped at first word and worse they could be beaten – quite likely by the police or other autorities including religious police.
Reports are more often dismissed – language problems and many levels of problems come into play here – and then the ladies may have to face the house again and get beaten there, at minimum used even further as as a slave and work 16 hours instead of the 12 or 14. I talked to people in Jordan and Dubai, and as well talked to the ladies on the flights I took. I am not professing I know any real depth of this, but I do know this problem is getting bigger and these ladies are stuck.
A big challenge for the expat is to apply himself (or herself) and find the time and avoid getting tied to a hooker. Learning the language, Bahasa I’sia (I’m fully fluent and read the newspapers too) is very important. A skill the hookers do have is picking up some important select job-related words in English. If you talk about Jakarta or Bail – yes there are quite a few ladies who speak English quite well but not bunches. Thus to get to know an I’sian lady and in some sort of good way besides what’s for dinner, an expat really needs to get to know some depth of the language.
And back to the time issue. I see many expats that do not take the time and effort to find a non-hooker. Rather it’s easier to go to a club or bar and get the instant lady to come home that night and then maybe carry this forward to more nights and then for a long time and onwards to getting married.
Very often there is a huge intellecual disparity if the expat gets married to a hooker, and conversations end up being very mudane – and after time goes by it gets both boring and frustrating for the expat and I guess too for the ex-hooker lady.
The expat needs to take time and as many have said study what’s going on in I’sia. The ladies need to study up as well and learn about the expat and and shed the old simple “wivestales” stories – like “bules” only eat potatoes, burgers, cheese, and bread. Expats – if you here – try it all – like durian and potai. It’s an adventure, and the lady will appreciate that you are willing to give it a try and not just say it’s bad before doing so. BTW – my first durian tries were ones that fell out of the tree’s – delicious!
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Durian?? To be honest, I like it very much!!!
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shawty says:
Crocketman, yah thats one of the problem facing overpopulated country…!
just hoping my country can turn to be overpopulated powerfull country
just if theres no corruption ( glad this things tend to decrease ) and people start loving each other 🙂
overpopulated..overpopulated..overpopulated
just like china and india..
some of them really really rich and some just poor..
but im sure soon my country will be great country 😉 -
@ crocketman
(nodding my head).. true..so true..I think “normal” indonesian girls not attract bule because their “normal” outlook hehehehe.
Especially for those bule who’s looking for “real action” hehe…Easy to get easy to go mostly thats what happened.
btw.. petai ? ….not actually my fave dish (its stink ! and major problem for air conditioned room or shared bathroom.. euuuh yuck !)
Okay Crocketman and Danang, lets go to sumatra for real durian deal, fresh from the jungle tree before the durian season is over !
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For sure Indonesia is overpopulated but mainnly only on Java, Sumatra, and to some extent Bali. Remember the program “KB”, I do not hear anything of this in newspapers or any real gov’t focus anymore. The last I seen of good adverts and gov’t focus is 20 or so years ago. What happened?
Stories from Batam are that the 1000’s of “Rumah Liar” (aka Ruli – an english literal translation is “wild housing”) are so close together and any sound transmits all over the ruli neighborhood. Once one couple starts making love – the sounds made is contagious – and pretty soon the whole ruli is rockin’. No KB programs, I’d say most do not know what any sense of “rythym method” is – and while this is far from being a good KB – at least it’s totally free. Remember the stories of condoms being washed and hung out to dry. That too is better than nothing.
The population in Batam has what I call “ombak anak” and I would guess that a major amount of this ombak is from poverty and the kids have little chance to get a good foothold in life. Proverty indeed is a vicious cycle.
Also – there’s not enough school space for these newcomers. I have seen over the past 24 years that edcuation quality has gone down in I’sia. Those who are now 50 plus years old actually had a much better focused schooling than kids now. It’s not the teachers fault, they are underpaid and overloaded.
A mixed marriage has much higher chances the child will get educated and either live outside I’sia at some point, at least not be totally poverty stricken. Yes there are rotten expats that leave kids behind, but those numbers are not high. Many likely do not even know if the kid is thiers or not if the union was with a hooker, some expats are never told or leave the country before finding out. The list goes on & on.
Some few expats actually take action, I and a few others support a few kids by paying thier school fee’s. Also one of my friends actively supports the local orphanage, not just with money but with hugs and talks. More expats need to do this type of thing, get involved, it does not take big bucks to help with one or two kids school fee’s. Besides this is to talk to the kids, let them know about the world around & outside of I’sia, and to show them that not all expats are some sort of strange aliens.
As for petai (or potai I guess in M’sia) and durians and other food from I’sia – there’s a LOT we all do not know about how good it is for human health. I firmly believe petai is good stuff for the whole body and flushes the urinary tract. And all the spices here, obviously the Spice Islands ! I eat spices, not just for flavoring the dish and push them aside. It is just becoming more known about all this like kayu manis (cinnamon) being anti bacterial, and there’s many more. Beside this is whatever else that’s in these spices, flavinoids, minerals, and who knows what else.
Indonesia is a wonderland – such a beautiful place. Not cold like Canada, not hot like Oman – it’s the 3 bears thing – just right. Okay – indeed places in I’sia can be sometimes a little too hot – but you ain’t seen hot until you go to Oman or likewise in June to August – that’s not just hot – it’s scorching – how people can live there is beyond me. Just recently I was there for over a month, daytime temps 45C and even at night it was 39C. Spending anytime outside requires drinking at least 3 to 4 litres of water during the day and then never going to pee – now that’s hot. Many people in I’sia think when it hot here it really hot – let me tell you – this country is as near perfect as it gets.
And besides – Stuff grows so good here that if you drop a matchstick (it’s been said) it just might grow. It’s not far from the truth –
Okay – back to the ladies – for all of us here who can read and understand – spread the word to those who cannot – practice KB. Do not just complain about it here on some blog or amonst your friends already in the know. Help and talk to people who do not know. We cannot expect much from the gov’ts (any gov’t and not just I’sia) – the track history proves itself. Rather people have got to talk to each other and help those who are living in proverty or on the edge or those who simply do not know. Many newly married would be better off if not having kids too soon nor too many and beyond thier means. Take a good look at the world population charts and see the vertical climb since 1900.
Help kids by doing something other than giving 1000 rupiah notes at street corners. Pick a good kid who is in need – go to his school – pay the fee’s. Buy him a bottle of vitamins – tell him/her those are ONLY for her/him and to not let anyone take them (hide it if required). Inform them about good food for the body & mind and do not try to survive on Indomie. The list goes on & on.
It all starts and ends with us common people – and talking, sharing, and giving what we can – this is the only way to improve things and the main start point is all the lovely children. They are the future – it’s our duty to help them whatever way we can – and show them the world is a good place and tell them that they are worthy little angels who can maybe help fix things in the future that we all have screwed up from mostly being too lazy and selfish to do ourselves.
How is it Jkt has these floods and drainage is (still again!!) all plugged with mountains trash! Main stories of this are even on Singapore and Al Jazeerah TV news – and I see people outside I’sia saying how to help a country who has no want to help themselves.
Come ON people do not toss rubbish – and make it an absolute social NO-NO – PLEASE say something to whomever tosses trash around – like “Anak kita akan terimah dunia sampah?”.
In the US, Canada, Europe, and many other countries it’s not the laws that stop people from tossing trash – it other people seeing on the spot and saying something of disgust.
What the world needs now indeed is real love sweet love in action, love Mother Earth and no trashing her, and real KB to counter all the love action between the sheets.
I’ll be hoping for more replies that are beyond the durian or smell of petai – please!
Although Farah – indeed I do want to hear the durian drop and use the “safe-trail” to safely get the fallen gem without getting my head banged in by another gem bomb. The first time I heard durians falling was just before dusk and the tree’s were so old and tall that the durians looked like specks. Some of the people wore their motorcycle helmets too. The best durians (I think) were not only those that are tree ripe and fall by themselves – but those that break open on impact. Durian as an aphrodisiac? Maybe – and who cares what it smells or tastes like as long as both eat it and have fun finding out if it is or not. Could take many (dozens) times to find out fairly conclusively – is anyone out there going to provide some sort of proof and not just theories?
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Ben says:
Hello All:
I feel like I have a new group of friends in Indinesia. Yes, I am living in Bangkok and the girls here are very pretty and you do not have to pay them to put out. It is funny, they refer to themselves as traditional Thai girls, but will have sex on the second date or so. Sorry if I seem shallow and I do want a serious relationship, but let’s be realistic, people need intimacy, I cannot wait until marriage to do the deed. In Japan it was great, very sweet girls, kind, educated, but have no problems having sex with a handsome foreign man. I am just worried that when I move to Jakarta there will be bad girls and girls that are so good that you have to wait forever to share closeness and passion. I AM REALLY STRESSED ABOUT THIS. maybe japan is a better place for me, but I do not have a job there. I am worried about the Muslim religion mainly, maybe these women do have sex, but just keep it hush hush, kind of like Thailand. I just want a smart, classy, sexy, funny, attractive women to share my life with. Farah- Are you in Indonesia? Are you in Jakarta? Jawa- Thanks for the advice…I always bag it, sometimes twice.
Fly high and keep the faith!
Ben
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@crocketman
Kb… i short of understand about this matter. Most of places where they should campaign for KB like public medical clinic or “puskesmas” they charge for every birth control shoot or any other birth control like pills, etc. instead giving them for free.
People who earned less than Rp 20.000 a day wont pay those birth control for sure. So you will see most of those people whos unlucky living in poverty had more than 5 children or even more. They still use the cheapest way the calendar system. Which require no money but sure its less effective.
I heard in usa they gave free condoms for student, but look what our dangdut “diva” (Julia Perez) got when she gave condoms for free on her cd album? some bad publication (not really that bad tho). Well its not free like that because you have to buy the cd.
Thats what happened here i think, so the KB not working anymore i guess.As for the education. I rather to think that education in my province is much much better than my time when i went to school. Now in my old elementary and high school they had this computer class and internet also international class and acceleration class which allow them to graduate faster. My time, i had to seek for outside school computer class, and only one of my teacher speak fluent english because she’s graduated master degree from UGM in java. No internet, i had to go to post office to use internet, and i know internet when i was 16, and its sooooo expensive (especially for student).
And theres more scholarship these days ! my company had this scholarship programs for students that have achievements and not able to pay the school fee, i think its in all of those big companies have scholarship as a return to the community.
Also in some regency in my province since last year they giving free school fee and medication. But i don’t really know how really “free” is a free charge here. Still i believe there will be some “administration” charge for sure.
Its better wait next to the street rather than on the bottom of the durian tree, that would be a big mistake to do that. A hard hat for precaution ? hehe that would be funny…. ill let you have mine here.. hehehe…
But yes a fresh durian that fall from tree are worth to wait for… (worth the danger too?)@ Ben
Yes i am 100% indonesian, live in sumatra jungle. I do think i am smart and classy but sorry i am not available for one night stand kind of fun.
I think some jakarta “fun girls” could help you, dont expect much okay ! just prepare for your wallet for some fun. No money no honey (i think thats their motto). They might go for free if you are that good looking as you said, but its more important to look like an important bule, convincing looks are better. And believe me they are “hard worker” and “costumer oriented”… hehehehe….they’re good girls in their own way.Like i said, most of time good girls are not equals to fun sex plus beers, and plus night clubs. Its not always happening here in indonesia, like i said culture difference. It does funny when people said they are traditional asian, or traditional eastern when they do all of this westerner things (sex, alcohol, etc).
Thailand are over rated. Girls are like i said beer dirt cheap. They will do what ever you said especially if you are a “farang”. I think thats why so much thai guy want to be a girl, hehehe.. (talking about those pretty lady boys) its easy money there. One picture with them is 100-200 baht (just picture??!!).
Read in japan students do sex as a stress relief from hard studying and competition in japan. They do for fun. But still theres so many suicide there (wrong reliefs?)
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Farah – good replies and full of info.
It would be good if the gov’t really susidized the costs of KB. Like vasectomies for nearly free for those with 2 kids. I know at one point some years ago the gov’t was talking about this – but as usual – omong aje.
I know what you mean about costs of internet in Indonesia, fortunately it is getting better and somewhat cheaper.
Back in the 90’s – it was so snail slow I could make a big dinner before a page loaded.
Indeed Thailand is much different compared to Indonesia. Like Patpong in Bangkok – a Thai sex machine that’s out of control.
For Ben – while the majority is Muslim there are other religions – like Bali is mainly Hindu. Indonesia is much more varied from place to place compared to T’land. IE: Medan is much different compared to Jogja. I have been to many towns in Java and some in Sumatra and each one is different in some way and the girls too are different.
All I can say is you have to see I’sia first – and my suggestion is do not get stationed in Jakarta – traffic jams are everyday all day. Other places like Bali do have jams but nothing like Jakarta. Bali is a good place – lotsa action going on – and if compared to Japan – the cost of living cannot be even close to compared.
I know many expats who have gotten hooked on living in I’sia. It’s Forrest Gump – the box of chocolates – you never know what your going to get – and that makes life far from boring.
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@crocketman
Vasectomy to most man in indonesia are equal like emasculated (thats on their mind).
Theres very less number of man in indonesia that want vasectomy as choice for kb.
If theres more and more publication about birth control in tv or any mass media or in the corner of every street or by help of professional people i think its a good choice to consider with.When in university my senior do the field work helping community (KKN) to some village in Lampung, and they had that scary thought about this vasectomy. Never heard, and don’t even want to think what is it all about.
Its very hard to made men in indonesia participate in birth control, even to use condoms when they had sex with e.g prostitute (which very risky). As if we ask to the worker girls the comparison of guys wearing some precautions and the one with “free style”, they will answer the costumer like “free style” much better.
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Purba Negoro says:
It is as I said.
The women who date the bule are majority slack-leg gold digger peasant.If you want a decent man or woman- you will never find in the haunts of hookers, waria, rent-boy, thugs, pimps and drug dealers.
Better romance found in your office or university or social clubs or something.
Bibit, bebet, bobot is not found in bars, clubs or such.
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almond9 says:
Hallo everyone…I’m new here…may i join than…
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Hallo Ben…
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I dont agree with Purb said than…
Not all Indonesia womens were bad…
Not all womens,who went to the club, karaoke were hookers or bad womens..
And not all womens who dated with bule were bad…
We all are human being…have many varieties of pesonalities and needs…
So we cant judge someone else…included we the womens…
Most bule like Indonesian womens, coz they are really kindness,polite,loving, honest and loyal, better than womens are there (western women)…thats all i knew from my others bule friends in my place.
Hahaha…i dont think so if we can find better romance in universty or office or social club liked Purba said…
Hallo…it isnt a time for that…old verson i think… -
So Ben…dont be afraid to come to Indonesia and if you meet 1 of Indonesian girls…please dont you think that she was a hooker or bad girl…
Respect her…an if you wanna hae a date with her..why not…coz Indoesia womens arent soo be easily to ask for sex…just for the first time meet..not all like that… -
Am i right Indonesian Girls…?
HIDUP WANITA INDONESIA
🙂 -
Farah,
“Its very hard to made men in indonesia participate in birth control, even to use condoms when they had sex with e.g prostitute (which very risky). As if we ask to the worker girls the comparison of guys wearing some precautions and the one with “free style”, they will answer the costumer like “free style” much better.”I do believe that a partial answer is to promote the use of the “Buzz.” This is an oral technique which vibrates the lips and when applied to the genitals of both sexes give a very satisfactory orgasm. You can check it out by going to getorgasmic.com and watch the teaser on this site. You will get a good idea from that teaser without having to purchase the full DVD. The choice of name for this site is unfortunate and I am going to change it shortly. The intent is not porn but education.
I do understand that many Indonesians do not have money to either purchase condoms or go on the Internet so the only way is for this technique to be promoted by word of mouth and by sex education. Of course many men and women have a certain diffidence to oral sex. I think that the rewards are such that many people will be willing to try it once they know about it’s benefits.
I am experimenting with using a dental dam. a very satisfactory substitute can be using Saran Wrap or equivalent. Still one comes up against the main reason for not using condoms, lack of sensation. However the main dangers of HIV and pregnancy will be some deterent. The other problem of the technique is the noise! Which can not be avoided. When we did the first training in the use of the “Buzz” by some happy happenstance a leafblower was in action and the noise was lost in the general racket. I am also exploring the use of a mechanical buzzer for the elderly and infirm.
This cost of which would have to be subsidised by aid agencies and Governments who are interested in population control. Much more fun than a condom though.I was using this technique with couples who had various sexual problems with condiderable success. Once the sexual satisfaction has been accomplished intimacy will grow to quite satisfactory levels. I do hope that I can introduce it in to the prostitute population, which may better their situation and that of their customers. certainly after being “buzzed” one does become saited with little desire and certailny no need for penetration and intercourse.
Happy buzzing!I think that the posts from Croketman are spot on. Perhaps the general interest and curiosity of the public will be aroused by hearing a brave buzzer in their vicinity!
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@ PN
Bibit, bebet, bobot is not found in bars, clubs or such
…Some how you right about this one…
@ Kinch
Ill go to jakarta next month for some shopping (end of year sale ..hehe), and perhaps jakarta will be empty because long end of year holidays, might will go to bandung as well. Have 10 days off my rigs.@ almond9
Ben is looking for “good” girls that available for sex when ever he want to. If its possible for free. He is looking for “good” girl in his own definition.Hahaha…i dont think so if we can find better romance in universty or office or social club liked Purba said…
Hallo…it isnt a time for that…old verson i think…At least girls that they possibly meet at university, or office really have REAL job not just hang in out in bar or night club EVERY NIGHT looking for customer. And show they well educated and could understand some english.
Its not old fashion at all.
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@ Rayner
..ehhh… “buzz” is.. a.. sex toy kind of thing ? …i.. didn’t get it. Oh.. you mean technique.. well i dont know about people sex experiences, but as far as i know the more far away people from city the more conventional the way they had sex.Maybe in town you could promote the technique, but seriously.. even when we said “sex” word at village they will might sunk their head off the chair or table because too shy to even said it or hear it.
How about syphilises, you could get that from oral sex… yuckkkkk….. i can’t even think of it….. mouth full of germs.
Maybe only half percent of indonesian people that really care about dental health, fyi.
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Indeed almond9 – I too think I’sian girls are all what you say – and seems to me more upfront with less secrets – than say compared to girls in Thailand.
There’s been a bias in I’sia (including Malaysia and Thailand, and probably other countries) that girls dating a bule are hookers. This is slowly getting less – but it’s still a major problem. Many girls do not want to date or be seen with a bule as they will be “labeled” a hooker, or at minimum a girl of bad or loose morals.
It’s actually the special few girls that do not care what other people think. But unfortunately there are many girls that would like to date and get invloved with someone outside thier own race – but are very afraid to do so.
What will make these prejudices go away at some time in the future – not in my (or maybe your lifetime) – is by having mixed race kids. I have seen many of these kids and by pure nature of things that they have no (or near no) prejudices.
It’s strange that many top models in I’sia are mixed race – yet the bias is big against it. I think they (mixed race) faced hard times growing up in such an atmosphere, and most probably became even more open as of all the negative feedback. Meaning they have a good outlook and are in acceptance to all types of people an do not carry bunches of “labels” around with them.
Also another topic: Many I’sian women have told me before – that bule’s are much more willing to help at home, even mopping the floor. I like doing chores at home and cooking stuff too. It’s a good way for me to forget about work and chill out, and besides mopping the floor and other cleaning/fixing in the house is good excercise.
Re rayner: While buzzer sounds interesting I doubt there are many that would go for this, esp guys who pay a hooker would not go only for a buzz. While dating maybe some girls would opt for this – but still convincing most guys would be difficult. The feeling of full pentration, there’s no sustitute in my view anyway. Even getting guys to wear condoms is not going on good (pardon the pun) – look at the stats about Papua and HIV. In main urban parts of I’sia this is not so much of a problem, but still many girls have to face situations of adamant guys not wanting to put on a condom.
My best advice for new relationships – go to a good clinic – get checked out. Once both show a no infections – then you’ve got full freedom to go without a condom. But do get (practice) some sort of birth control.
I hope that the bias gets less and less and makes for more mixed race relationships.
Cheers !!
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Also another topic: Many I’sian women have told me before – that bule’s are much more willing to help at home, even mopping the floor. I like doing chores at home and cooking stuff too. It’s a good way for me to forget about work and chill out, and besides mopping the floor and other cleaning/fixing in the house is good excercise.
Well.. well.. you read my mind on that. I can’t understand until today why most of indonesian man feel that it hurt their “ego” to help around the house. “Help” mean you just help not do the whole things. Just some small things like prepare the table for dining or lunch, wont even sweat them ! but yeah.. its woman job as they said.
I think guys that could delicious dinner or made a surprise breakfast in bed with a rose (too much to ask ?) are much more sexy than a football captain with six packs, etc… that just sit on couch watching football all day while im cleaning up the house (well.. if i could choose:football captain that could cook would be my choice).
Dreams..dreams.. dreams… hard to come true, hehehe.
There’s been a bias in I’sia (including Malaysia and Thailand, and probably other countries) that girls dating a bule are hookers. This is slowly getting less – but it’s still a major problem. Many girls do not want to date or be seen with a bule as they will be “labeled” a hooker, or at minimum a girl of bad or loose morals.
It’s actually the special few girls that do not care what other people think. But unfortunately there are many girls that would like to date and get invloved with someone outside thier own race – but are very afraid to do so.
I remember the first time i brought a bule guy at home, hes a friend from sydney want to know my family and my house. My mom start to freak out, and asking 1001 questions. Hard to explain that he just a friend just like my any other local friend, visit at home, sit on living room, talk, see photo album, drink tea kind of friend.
In some certain places they do have that thought that if you go with bule you are not a good girl. But i think thats depend on the girl. If she don’t really care what people said, then the whole gossip will go i think.
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Being an Asian woman who dates a Caucasian is never easy. Although I agree that the society in Indonesia still have some bias to some extend regarding the relationship between Indonesian women and Caucasians, I would like to say that this kind of bias also exists in other parts of the world. I, an Indonesian woman, who is in a relationship with someone outside my race, still get some strange look at times from the society. And this happens in the country of origin of my partner, namely CH. While the society in Indonesia tend to think that Indonesian women who date Caucasians are gold-diggers, hookers, etc; the society here in CH see Asian women dating Caucasians as those who aim for citizenship or a better standard of living. Not much of a difference, you see.
Coming from a good family and being well-educated, this prejudice surely got on my nerves for quite some time. I could not bear to think that such a developed country as CH still has narrow-minded people among its society. However, when I come to think of it later on, I realize that people are entitled to their opinion, and whatever they think of you should not matter much as long as you know what you are doing. One should not give in to the opinion of others. My point is prejudice on interracial relationship exists everywhere, be it in Indonesia or in other parts of the world. The only difference is perhaps the level of the bias; some may be a lot more extreme than others.
So, mind you that not all Indonesian women date Caucasians are gold-diggers, or poorly educated. A lot of these women are well-educated and independent. And if an Indonesian woman dates a Caucasian, it does not always mean that she disrespects her culture or disregards her Asian values, etc; it is simply about preference 🙂 -
CrocketMan..
how long u have been leaving indonesia?
seems like agessssssssssssssssssssss ago..1st in my Opinion birth rate in Indonesia have tendency to decline as people getting lazy to hv kids or delaying having kids..
2nd Education quality in Indonesia make big improvement from years to years…
this year one of Indonesia univ is top 300 all over the world..http://www.topuniversities.com/worlduniversityrankings/results/2008/overall_rankings/fullrankings/And Ben..yah u shouldnt stay in Indonesia..
u should go to Japan..
it suit u better or yeah .. just stay there in Bangkok..just there..dont move..:P
i dont think Indonesian Girls need more caucasian guys that looking for fun only 😉
oh or i just make wrong intrepetation of ur post..
i dont think i did ;)..
anyway if u looking for fun n temporary things..
why u need that so much quality from girls..
u hoping too much i guess..
Fun is Fun..no need to be fussy..
relationship is relationship (investment)..
I think its all the concept all around the world..
whether in west, east or asia or whatever..Goddes in Lovely cold paradise hehehe
winter time 🙁 brrrr
i hope u have great husband/new family that love and respect our asian culture 🙂
so everything is ok..
in future if i marry with caucasian, i should make sure he value my culture 🙂
i know some west people that really value asian culture
and i know some that not
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