Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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stevo says:
David, can you tell me how to “quote” ?
I know I have asked before, prior to signing up.
Thanks,
Steve (0) đ -
timdog says:
ET – oh, I see. If I were in the mood to put my foot down, I would, on the grounds of both the post itself, and your general form on the topic of “feminism”, say ” and your point is?”
But I’m not so, meh, I’ll let you have that one…I almost discussed with you the woefully confused response of many feminists and liberals to that strangely misnamed concept – “the veil”, because it’s an interesting topic (and actually the problem that stops them getting their head around the issue – semi-appropriate turn of phrase – is precisely the same as that which informs the all-out jilbab-ophobes). But I couldn’t be bothered, and I think the whole thread might need a little lie down now.
Poor old buffalo had been snoozing for a long while, and then it suddenly got a hell of a kicking… -
ET says:
timdog
and your point is?
My point is that after the initial protests for equal rights feminism evolved into a (pseudo) intellectual pass-time for frustrated misandrists with academic pretensions. Hence the double meaning of PhD.
Too far fetched for you?
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“(and actually the problem that stops them getting their head around the issue â semi-appropriate turn of phrase â is precisely the same as that which informs the all-out jilbab-ophobes).”
In speaking out against the âveilâ feminists are put in the interesting position of demanding that the state force women to wear more revealing clothes.
It is difficult to reconcile this with freedom and individual rights. A similar situation exists with the terrible practice of female circumcision.
Personally, I think non Muslims should tolerate the veil, in most situations, with the proviso that itâs voluntary.
I am opposed to the genital mutilation of kids, with no exceptions. If an adult women chooses this, I guess it has to be accepted.
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Stevo, you click the ‘quote’ button twice, then highlight and copy the text you want to quote, and paste it into the middle of the blockquote tags.
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Stevo, you click the âquoteâ button twice, then highlight and copy the text you want to quote, and paste it into the middle of the blockquote tags.
Thanks David, got it.
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Well, a couple of quick points…firstly whilst Stevo has risen like trout to live bait the onus of the kicking of the buffalo has to remain with Timdog, he started it and I am surprised the Australian Embassy has not got involved.
As for the veil, it’s silly to introduce FGM into the same conversation it’s like discussing helmet laws in Australia and then saying capital punishment is bad. Totally different issues.
Oh and lastly, you would tolerate the veil? How noble of you, how about acceptances it someone’s free choice.
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Oigal
As for the veil, itâs silly to introduce FGM into the same conversation itâs like discussing helmet laws in Australia and then saying capital punishment is bad. Totally different issues.
Not so different. Their common denominator – I mean the veil and FGM – is that both are symbols of oppression and submission. Women’s sexuality and their physical attraction are considered dangerous and to be controlled, not by education, but by external interventions. Both are an expression of indulgence for male possesiveness and sexual insecurity, sanctioned by and – pun intended – under the veil of religion.
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In fact ET, the introduction of FGM into a debate on the veil reduces a perfectly reasonable debate about when and where a veil is acceptable in the general community to one of extremes which achieves nothing. Essentially any country that has not outlawed FGM has no right to call itself civilized certainly not a topic subject to the subtle nuances veil wearing has.
As an aside, the common demoninator of oppression of women is not as I believe you are suggesting Islam but religion in general. What do you call it when a religion that refuses to allow women access to contraception and condemns millions to poverty and disease.
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Putting it where it should be:
I never said you thought eastern women to be inferior, although you did suggest that western women are somehow more âunattainableâ than Asian women, a laughable concept given what I see in the streets of most British cities after pub closing time on Fridays.
I am challenging your viewpoint, shared by the stuffed shirt Victorian colonists, that western men who choose an Asian woman for a wife must be misfits, losers or deviants. As a western man happily married to an Asian woman for several years I not unnaturally find such disgusting stereotyping offensive to me and to my wife. Unfortunately your bigoted perception of me and my family is one that I have found is all to common among people, usually from the left wing of the political spectrum, when I visit the UK.
That was your stated position if you choose to back track from that then fine, weâll leave it at that.
BB
Unfortunately your bigoted perception of me and my family is one that I have found is all to common among people, usually from the left wing of the political spectrum, when I visit the UK.
A touch of paranoia creeping in here – especially in the “usually from the left wing” bit, seriously! (though actually, I entirely sympathise with you on the “mail order bride” crap, though interestingly, I wonder, given that you live in Indonesia, if you get so ideologically excercised about the prejudice and assumptions such unions often incur from Indonesians – you must surely get more exposure to that, than you do do the sneers of your mythical left-wingers).
But, once again, I would suggest that if you reigned in the sweeping statements about the fragrant sensuousness of generic “Indonesian woman”, and the equally sweeping vitriol about the unwashed hair and joyless feminism of generic “Western woman”, then people – even wicked left-wingers! – might find it easier to avoid slipping to easy prejudicial assuptions.
That’s all I’ve got to say on the matter, but I will round off with a frustrated howl of my own, tied in, once again, to my fundamental, deep issues with this whole “dating Indonesian girls” thing, and my deep fundamental issues with a whole lot more besides:
“As a western man happily married to an Asian woman”…
Ever tried simply to view yourself as a MAN happily married to a WOMAN? Seems like a much more positive place from which to view the world, and the people you share it with. -
but I will round off with a frustrated howl of my own, tied in, once again, to my fundamental, deep issues with this whole âdating Indonesian girlsâ thing, and my deep fundamental issues with a whole lot more besides:
Well I salute your frank & honest admission Timdog, regarding your “issues”. (Just quietly, the cat was already out of the bag.)
Here is another generalization/stereotype/sweeping statement, for the perpetually self rightous to get hysterical and preachy about:
On an appearance level, I find Asian women to be enchantingly attractive. They have a refined & deep beauty that surpasses that of their Western sisters.
For sure, some have different tastes, and good on them too. Personally I consider an attractive Asian lady is beyond compare.
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deta says:
@ ET
I discovered the noble worthy invention of another acronym of PhD, but it was you who frequently associated the two meanings. So I happily share the pride (and rage from the real Doctors of Philosophy out there).
Where did you learn to speak this PhD jargon?
I didn’t learn to speak that jargon, but constructed it myself through experiences. Why, is that so hard to accept that the West is not the only source of references for feminism, and in many cases it is internally driven and cultural specific? Iâve encountered a lot of real feminists here who never formally learn feminism or declare themselves as feminists.
Or you just overlook that a feminism jargon can be invented by a woman who washes her hair regularly (though once in a year can also fall into âregularlyâ), weighs less than 50 kg, and has a heterosexual preference (with lots and lots of âme love you long timeâ roses), hence according to the definition of feminist in a nutshell, she canât fit into feminist category?
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@ deta
Why, is that so hard to accept that the West is not the only source of references for feminism, and in many cases it is internally driven and cultural specific?
That’s a relief. I was already afraid you were contaminated with the pompous jargon that has become the hallmark of western feminists đ . You have studied or worked in Darwin, haven’t you?
@ Stevo
On an appearance level, I find Asian women to be enchantingly attractive. They have a refined & deep beauty that surpasses that of their Western sisters.
And besides attractive most of them are friendly, polite and what they call here polos (= plain, not primadonnaish). Smile at them and you will be rewarded with two rows of pearly white. Now try this with western women – especially the Anglo variety – and take cover.
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diego says:
A nice quote from the web:
I wish all feminists were lesbians. But I don’t wish all lesbians were feminists.
This way: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100619183615AARkj5s
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Smile at them and you will be rewarded with two rows of pearly white. Now try this with western women â especially the Anglo variety â and take cover.
Agreed. This is one of the many reasons why Anglo women see the Asian ladies as such a threat. They are also the first to come out with racist stereo types, along the lines of Asian women being meek and submissive, “do anything for their man” etc. They invariably go on to loudly announce “you can’t handle strong independent women” or words to that effect.
Not only are many Anglo women racist and ill informed, they are arrogant to assume to be “stronger” than their Asian sisters.
Many Asian societies are fiercely competitive and harsh, by the standards of the Anglo Saxton countries. Maintaining social relationships (work, family, friends) is essential as a matter of survival. So is making money and saving for the sorts of things provided by the State in the Anglo countries. Life is complicated and often unforgiving.
Asian women do all this with grace and dignity.
Compare that with the âindependent & strongâ Anglo women with their social safety nets of government education, health, unemployment benefits and vast array of welfare programs. They also benefit from State funded organizations who lobby specifically for womenâs issues.
Its mind blowing arrogance to think they can teach an Asian lady anything about being âstrongâ
I donât mind stereotypes, but they should be accurate, in a general way, to have any use at all.
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Thatâs a relief. I was already afraid you were contaminated with the pompous jargon that has become the hallmark of western feminists đ . You have studied or worked in Darwin, havenât you?
It doesnât matter. In this social networking era, any contagious idea/ideology/way of life (including feminism and the counterproductive anti-feminism) emerging from a society can spread very easily all around the globe. Some people even bear stronger influences than some others who ever actually lived in the said societies.
But if this can make you relief : yes, I studied, in Qld, majoring in something else than womenâs studies.
Smile at them and you will be rewarded with two rows of pearly white.
Thatâs flattering, ET. But you know that life is hard to get by just upon a smile (Mr. Big â Wild World). đ
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It doesnât matter. In this social networking era, any contagious idea/ideology/way of life (including feminism and the counterproductive anti-feminism) emerging from a society can spread very easily all around the globe. Some people even bear stronger influences than some others who ever actually lived in the said societies.
Spread easily around the globe? I hope so.
It seems a new feminist movement, called Femen, is emerging in Ukraine and I admit it has some very persuasive :-; arguments in favor. I might even become a supporter.Always think positively. Only fools never change their mind.
Check this out.
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I know what you think, ET. The only thing missing from the picture is the âme love you long timeâ or âme so hawnyâ babbles…….. gosh, you guys such a bad influence.
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berlian biru says:
timdog
Ever tried simply to view yourself as a MAN happily married to a WOMAN?
Oh for heaven’s sake don’t be so bloody obtuse!
Of course I am a man married to a woman, there is, as yet, no other variety of marriage but we aren’t discussing the generalaities of male female relationships, are we? No, of course not we’re discussing the very specific issue of western men married to Asian or more specifically Indonesian women. That’s why I pointed out my personal objection to your particularly offensive form of stereotyping which no amount of smirks on your part could alter.
Incidentally there is nothing mythical about left wingers who adopt the racist superiority when it comes to Asian women. The woman who called my wife a mail order bride is personally known to me, she is a lecturer in women’s studies and qualifies as a dyed in the wool feminist.
Oddly enough like you she was smirking when she said what she said, no doubt pleased with what she believed to be an original thought. I have been on the receiving end of that particular chestnut many times in online discussions, invariably from left wingers.
They seem inordinately fond of mentioning ping pong balls too, oddly enough, thinking this is insanely funny and yet still they have the infernal cheek to describe me and men like me as sexual inadequates.
Curiously, conservative minded people, male or female, seem to have absolutely no problem whatsoever with my choice of life partner.
Funny how racism works out in the modern day isn’t it?
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BB you miss Timdogs point entirely.
What he hates is your freedom to choose, not your choice.
He does not care about outcomes or people, only ideology.
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Tia says:
Oh~~ The topic is interesting, but i don’t really understand what’s being discussed in the latest pages :scratches head:
i don’t know what to call my self lol, my parents are Javanese..
but i look more like Sumatranese than Javanese in term of looks..i never date expat men, in my hometown i rarely see expat lol..
so whenever i came across one, i found them as interesting sight..
i don’t really like living in city like Jakarta, so i don’t really know and it’s not like i care either..actually if u look for serious relationship with Indonesian girl, u need to learn their background first.. even local couple from different family background can still get culture shock.. Girl from Sumatra and Java are different, from behavior and physical appearance.. it’s like Indonesian version of Japanese and Korean girl..
girls u found in the bar or street in Jakarta can’t be Indonesian girl ambassador lol.. they’re already influenced with western lifestyle from the place u come from, so they’re not any difference actually from any girl in any part of big cities around the world..
just my 2 cent.. ^^
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beersheba says:
“Girl from Sumatra and Java are different, from behavior and physical appearance.. ”
Can anyone elaborate on the behavior difference ?
Thanks
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They seem inordinately fond of mentioning ping pong balls too
Maybe they were thinking of a scene from “Priscilla Queen of the Desert” when they mentioned that ping-pong ball thing.
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Your asian mail bride. With ping pong balls.
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bonni says:
Hello guys… This is a very interesting topic… I am an indonesian girl… Dated expat… And it was good… The worst was the times to say goodbye…
Of course there are some types of Indonesian girls… And I am so sorry for some expats here who have some bad experiences in the past… The thing is you should find what you want first… And don’t date the naive ones… It would be a waste of time… đ
Cheers!
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Binod says:
I m comming Indonesia to visite, I need A beautiful lady guaid, can you help me please?
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Bad to the Bone says:
i can’t help you Binod cause I ain’t a beautiful lady, maybe Stevo can. ha ha
Do you mean a beautiful heart-there’s plenty of them, or you mean physically beautiful, not so many, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder as far as that go’s. also what have you got that a beautiful lady would want. There’s a song that say’s ” if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife- tricky isn’t it? -
john bien says:
Wow,a lot of topic we got here… i’m no Indonesian and never been there, just doing some research and studies regarding that country and those people and of course those ladies… I’m pretty impress with the responses of all the people here… not much of a difference here in my country… Be good Indonesia, i might be there to know you people… from John of Manila City
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Bad to the Bone,
Thereâs a song that sayâs â if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife- tricky isnât it?
So are you single?
John Bien,
Iâm pretty impress with the responses of all the people here⌠not much of a difference here in my countryâŚ
It is only a matter of personality, John…
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