Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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timdog says:
Bullsh*t, Stevo: all wanton stirring aside my last post is the fundamental crux of my problem with this entire wider discussion of “dating Indonesian girls”, beyond the feminazi nonsense. If you scan back through the hundreds of pages before you showed up, I think you’ll find me expressing exactly the same opinion in the past.
Plenty of (bule) posters here over the years seem to have more or less openly stated that the principal criteria in their choice of their current wife/partner/girlfriend was the fact that she was an “Indonesian girl” [and not a “Western girl”].
Aside from what this might suggest about such a person’s prejudices, it is an essentially mysogynistic and reductive approach, and not one that people without some chronic issues would employ.There are, fortunately, plenty of mixed-race couples of all sorts out there whose relationships were not based on, do not continued to be framed in, such terms. The people involved in them are obviously much happier with themselves.
BB,
Having apparently upset you (sorry; honestly, I was only having fun when I started; didn’t mean to touch off your backpackerphobia), I can only say I am touched and delighted to have been declared a good British patriot; another poster, now departed, on many occassions stated that I was quite the opposite, and that i “hated my own country and culture”.
I feel it is almost time for my to march off in the direction of scones and jam to the tune of Jerusalem… -
Stevo says:
“it is an essentially mysogynistic and reductive approach, and not one that people without some chronic issues would employ.”
BB; Is this what you are meaning about the Freudian half regurgitated chunks of pseudo sexual psycho-babble to impress………???
Dear oh dear Timmy !!
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Well to bring this thread back to the inane and shallow that has sustained it for so long. David, I do so love that place in your video…as the song goes ‘that’s me in the corner’. Well almost, whenever I am in town anywAy.
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berlian biru says:
BB; Is this what you are meaning about the Freudian half regurgitated chunks of pseudo sexual psycho-babble to impress………???
Pretty much, yes.
I have never used the word “feminazi” about which timdog gets so hot and bothered but just as a matter of interest who, beyond timdog, has ever actually used this term on this thread?
You’ll forgive me if I don’t feel inclined to wade through all 130 pages to find the culprit. It couldn’t actually be the case that timdog is the only person here to have used the word could it?
It couldn’t actually be the case that, as with his secret fevered longings for backpacker chicks, timdog’s obsession about feminazis is entirely something he has worked up himself?
“Projectionism”, I think the amateur psychologists call this condition.
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Aww, and to think, I held back on the insults myself! Still, like I said, a barb needs at least to find a tender spot to tell at all.
You don’t have to wade very far to find “feminazi” in use on this forum, and well you know it, BB, but in any case, my work is done here – I’m enjoying my new found status as an English patriot, and so I’m off to the village fete to play cricket with the Major under the sycamore trees, and then to swig cider under a hay cart and to have a roll in the long grass with the buxom wenches of the Women’s Institute, while eating crumpets and lustily singing Land of Hope and Glory to an accompanyment of baying foxhounds and tinkling Morris dancers.
Toot toot, old chaps… -
ET says:
To illustrate this alleged joyless dreariness you cited the examples of the backpacker girls you see passing through (where, btw? Jaksa’s about the only place in Jakarta you’re likely to cross paths with one of them…) – flip-flops, an old tee-shirt, no makeup and hair in a ponytail ahead of crossing a hot developing nation on public transport being unmistakably symptomatic of joyless dreariness, apparently.
Joyless dreariness??
Time for a change. Meet the new Jaksa backpacker chique.
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Lairedion says:
Really its just a banal snippet of psycho babble.
Oops, sorry to hurt your feelings. Not only insecure but also long toes. No wonder feminists crawl under your skin.
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Feminists are easy to cope with Lairedion. They cant help their hysterical reactions, its the weak western men who let them away with it, that crawl under my skin.
Do you support Timdog in the confronting idea that a bule, living in Indo, would prefer to be getting it on with a smelly English back packer ( as opposed to the lovely local ladies) provided he had the required social skills?
I have said a number of times that Western Women are in my opinion ok. However English girls are generally not ok, and many of the types you would find teaching English in Indo are especially irritating and full of themselves. These “see the world” types are some of the most narrow minded people I have ever met.
English women are dreadful, but they laughably assume they have the allure and class of European women. Try telling that to a European man (or women)!
Real European women are far more confident and liberated. They are a joy to be around.
To assume that men would want one of these loud smelly creatures, over whats on offer locally, is just crazy talk chaps 🙂
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Stevo,
Feminists are easy to cope with Lairedion. They cant help their hysterical reactions, its the weak western men who let them away with it, that crawl under my skin.
Ah, they’re easy to cope with but you feel abandoned by your fellow weak western men in your efforts to contain shrieking feminists. Poor dude. 😆
English women are dreadful, but they laughably assume they have the allure and class of European women. Try telling that to a European man (or women)!
Agree but the same can be said of English/British/Anglo-Saxon men.
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Toot toot, old chaps…
Toodle-oo, if you think you can cope with having your arse handed to you on a plate again in another round of “stirring it” tim old bean, I’d be delighted to do so again.
Run along now, there’s a good fellow.
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Toodle-oo, if you think you can cope with having your arse handed to you on a plate again in another round of “stirring it” tim old bean, I’d be delighted to do so again.
Hmmm I dunno, seemed to achieve the aim and didn’t see too many winners as such, just some interesting if verbose insults .
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BrotherMouzone says:
Have to say, I think we are being a little simplistic…
I suspect that we are programmed to find members of a different tribe more attractive – I also suspect that this is a behavioural adaptation that has helped ensure the successful rise of the human race. I think humanity wouldn’t have gotten as far as it has if we had all mated purely within our own villages’ shallow gene pool.
I think that this attraction to the “otherness” of Indonesian girls sometimes translates into a certain blindness to any shortcomings – an idealization of their looks and personalities.
I know lots of UK women who fulfil some posters’ ideals of an “Asian” woman and I know a few Indonesian lasses who more closely match some posters’ definitions of debased English birds.
And, at risk of getting my head bitten off, I would also say that a lot of the characteristics of Indonesian women idealized by some of the posters here; loyalty, simplicity, willingness to stick by their man through thick and thin could also be explained by poverty. In an unequal society like Indonesia’s, where divorce = destitution for most women, there is an economic imperative to remain faithful and stay with a husband regardless of his alcoholism, philandering, or gradual descent into morbid obesity…
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In an unequal society like Indonesia’s, where divorce = destitution for most women, there is an economic imperative to remain faithful and stay with a husband regardless of his alcoholism, philandering, or gradual descent into morbid obesity…
ah ah..Coming back to my simplistic “pocket full of personality” although like to think I could replace
alcoholism, philandering, or gradual descent into morbid obesity
with occasional lapse, never hurts to look, and some minor winter conditioning same as race horses get.
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BrotherMouzone, you are correct of course.
But please try and keep in the spirit of things and stop being so rational.
(Just as long as you don’t push the bounds of credibility as far as timdog) 😉
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@ Sarah, Deta and all other Indonesian ladies in this forum
After reading this lengthy and passionate polemic do you happen to believe the legacy of western feminism is something worthy of pursuit? Or did you feel the urge to flush your skin-whiteners down the drain?
A penny for your thoughts. -
diego says:
alcoholism you said? i don’t think there is such thing in indonesia. seriously. i couldn’t remember any single occasion of me and my friends drinking beer / liquor in indonesia. those things smell awful. iced tea is very much preferred.
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deta says:
Psst, ET, don’t interrupt our hibernation period. I did have good time watching these gentlemen throwing insults at each other about feminism, femininazism, typical western vs indo girls comparison, etc. Nothing new, really, but Timmy did a good job 🙂 .
Btw, I never use skin-whitener. We pursuit feminism of our own style (the elaboration of this is available for a small fee, and sure, you can paypal 🙂 )
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Deta; So you agree with Timmy, that an Indonesian women is 2nd to a western women?
( I assume any western women just so long as she is fair skinned, Timmy did not specify)
And that only desperate refugees would ever be with a South East Asian, because if they had a choice, it would clearly be an English backpacker ?
Btw Deta…… how many European women have you been in a hetrosexual relationship with?
😉 🙂
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Strangely Stevo, I do not draw the same conclusion from what I read. It’s the overgeneralization approach that you used by classifying women in “western vs asian”, or “feminine vs feminazi” that bothered him. But of course, I don’t agree with all Timmy’s points. And BM’s too, with his economic based loyalty theory. But let’s not ruin the fun, shall we? 😀
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So was that a yes or a no?………………
I am rather fond of generalizations, it means you will be “generally” correct.
The alternative is to base ideas on exceptions, in which case its exceptional to be correct (like Timdog)
Sterotypes are great also, they save me having to think about things 🙂
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So was that a yes or a no?…
Give me time. I’ll have to think about it.
😀
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Can somebody please forward the link to this thread to David Archuleta? He can’t wait to meet indonesian girls. I think it’s best for him to get himself educated by reading this thread first. Lots of gems here.
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Seeing his last name he’s not Anglo/British so I doubt he’ll pick up something…
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Stevo said
I am rather fond of generalizations, it means you will be “generally” correct.
When does something becomes a generalization, eliminating what doesn’t conform into virtual non-existence, and transforms itself into a stereotype? It’s all about percentages. Or trends. Or what gets the largest media coverage.
The fact that many western women – even Anglo-Saxon ones – don’t fit the stereotype of feminist shrews and harridans cannot wipe out the impression and misery these belligerent, foulmouthed harpies of yore have left behind. Even if bra-burning and street protests from the seventies are now replaced and institutionalized in the form of state-funded academic chairs of ‘women-studies’, the legacy is still there in the form of what you rightly called mixed-up priorities and a sense of entitlement to be treated as the gold standard.The same rationale about generalization can probably applied to ‘sexual refugees’. Terms like this have more gossip- and entertainment value than the sober and thus uninspiring expat who falls in love with a local woman and starts a family.
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You got it ET !
The vast majority of western women do not consider themselves particularly feminist. Most would rather be considered feminine, a point that timdog has often referred to.
The trouble is that hard line feminist doctrine has been normalized and institutionalized in western society.
What is assumed to be the “correct” way to think is actually nothing more than a failed experiment in social engineering. An experiment that has largely gained traction only in those societies formed in very recent times. Older civilizations with some real history have not brought into it wholesale to the same extent.
The left leaning feminist social engineers can not distinguish between equality and difference. Men and women are equal, but different. They deny the existence of this simple self evident truth.
So, it’s not really the individual women, it’s the society in which they occur that is the problem. This is the point that some posters on IM can not grasp. Though it is acknowledged we are all a bunch of stirrers 😉
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Yeah, it is a matter of great concern feminist doctrine is firmly established. Saudi Arabia and Aceh are not that bad after all in dealing with their women.
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Glad you raised that Lairedion………….
While the liberal west shrills about the treatment of women in some Islamic states, they remain strangely muted about the gross injustices visited upon men in the west.
For example; A women needs to simply level an accusation of rape, and the man is destroyed. There are some recent high profile examples of innocent men being persecuted following false rape accusations.
( I have heard figures of between 50 & 80% of rape complaints are false. This is from experienced investigating officers, not some academic dreamer. Its a big dark secret that they dare not talk about openly in the west.)
The laughably named western justice system is little more than institutionalized misandry. To declare that men and women are equal before the law (in the western world) is to declare your self an idiot.
You can blather on all you like, but I work in the field and see incredible bias shown against men. Given similar facts, a women can expect a very different outcome. Mens lives and families are destroyed on a daily basis by western women appealing to a corrupted legal system that assumes a women is always the victim. This results in broken men and kids lives destroyed by calculating manipulative women. This is reflected in the appalling suicide rates for men in the western world.
So spare me the sermon about the nasty “Muslims” Lairedion. If your from the west, go look in your own backyard.
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This reminds me of a recent case that received wide publicity in the western media. A Muslim women conspired with her lover to murder her husband. She was sentenced to death.
The liberal media used this as a vehicle to promote the view that women are treated poorly in Muslim countries. The usual shrill harpies chimed in, aided by pussy-whipped male enablers, spitting anti male venom through their pursed lemon sucking lips.
No concern was expressed for the male victim of this premeditated and cold blooded murder.
Yet the good old USA ( whose learning institutions fuel much of the western feminist agenda) regularly carries out the death sentence on men. Some of whom murdered their wives. There is no outcry over this of course.
In the west it is unlikely a woman would be executed for killing her husband. All she needs to do is contrive a story that she was “abused” and claim victim status. She will be handed a minimal sentence and be dealt with sympathetically.
What do you think the chances are of an “abused” husband successfully lodging an abuse defense, given a similar factual situation?
I am personally against capital punishment, but I am also against double standards and discrimination. I find many of the sentences carried out in Islamic states appallingly barbaric. I am against brutality regardless of gender.
Many of the posters on IM mean well and sound like decent people with good intent. But some of the westerners are blinded by feminist ideology and except it as the norm. Just as the members of a strict Sharia state can not see past their own beliefs, so it is with the west. They both believe they have it right, while doing wrong.
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Ok, if we are going to start pretending silly generalizations are actually fact must time to wade back into the cesspit.
The liberal media used this as a vehicle to promote the view that women are treated poorly in Muslim countries. The usual shrill harpies chimed in, aided by pussy-whipped male enablers, spitting anti male venom through their pursed lemon sucking lips.
Well few would deny that women in Muslim countries are denied the freedoms commonly taken as the norm in most western countries. It just a fact that the vast majority (in fact cannot think of an exception) of Muslim countries are Patriarch societies. The chicken and egg debate on the influence of religion doesn’t change the fact.
In actual fact rather than providing a vehicle for the more radical woman’s movements, the higher profile of Muslim woman has placed them in quandary. Witness the French Law on nijab, they are opposed to women being covered (obviously) and they are opposed to the state regulating what women can wear…Tough to articulate a position from that.
( I have heard figures of between 50 & 80% of rape complaints are false. This is from experienced investigating officers, not some academic dreamer. Its a big dark secret that they dare not talk about openly in the west.)
This of course is just nonsense (my mate knows a copper..who said kind of stuff). Any reputable study as well as commonsense tells you that Rape is the most under reported of all crimes. Sadly even more under reported in countries with heavily religious/patriarch societies and just forget it in Muslim Countries (again for obvious reasons). Just because some blokes cannot understand that she really does mean p*ss off does not make not rape.
Damn, you would think some of these blokes would have picked up after living in Indonesia, one reason the fat drunk can get a girl is often if she has been divorced, or no longer a virgin for any reason she is may be considered damaged goods, reporting she had been raped has often little upside and plenty of down.
Frankly just sounds the bitter n twisted spouting hard luck stories at the bar again, pining for the day they could wander home as drunk as lords after groping everything in sight and demanding their conjugal rights.
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That sounds like a huge back down timdog. I especially like the way you attempted to turn the racial angle around. Nice try, but to late. 😉
There are some negative features to western women and some guys like to point those features out. You have clearly worked yourself into a self righteous lather over this freedom of thought/expression and read to much into it.
If I say that European Alfa Romeo cars are good looking but piles of crap, and I am happy with a Japanese Lexus, does that make me a racist, miserable pathetic vehicle refugee ?
Or does it make me someone who has made a reasonable choice based upon preference?
Once again your logic does not stand up to any reasonable test.
I am concerned you are becoming increasingly shrill and starting to sound like a women with your emotional, ideology based comments. I suggest you join those refugees you have spent so much time interviewing and studying in intimate detail ( so you can educate IM readers) and have a few beers, until you harden up 🙂 🙂