Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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Augusta says:
I agree with the term ‘marrying the whole family’ in Indonesia. I mean, I’m Indonesian, have seen my uncles, aunts, siblings got married and it involved both of the family, the big one! But it doesn’t matter for the Indonesians because we are mostly communal, not individual like the westerns. I find it a bit awkward though, because I’m quite individual for Indonesian standard. Well, the weird thing is I’m interested in getting with foreigners because I want to live with broader perspective, environment, language, culture, and family. Not just because the cash whatsoever. It’s really sucks to hear that the Asian women married to western men are stereotyped as gold-diggers. But really, the place where you can find a lot of westerns in Indonesia are in the clubs, which once more leads to the stereotype that bule just want to find cheap Indonesian women. Let me ask ‘cowok-cowok bule’ in this blog, where did you meet your Indonesian women?
Just curious lol.
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chasez says:
interesting 🙂
I’m Indonesia girls who always interested to dating bule. I’m not looking for money or better living with marry or in relationship with bule.
One thing that i always glad about dating bule it’s fun to find our differences and culture gap. that’s teach us a lot how to deal with people as individual from different background.i had great time with my last bule boyfriend. and i can say I’m in love with him. almost one year since he’s left but i still wishing he will come back. so for those who think that Indo girls only looking for money or better living with marry or in relationship with bule, well i can say not all Indo girls have the same thought. I’m here being pathetic waiting for my ex to come back. it’s not about money, good looking or good sex. it’s about individually I’m in love.
have a great day everyone 🙂
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marlboro says:
hell0,
i recently dated a man who is white. my question is how u know that actually u r in relationship with a man. i mean ive been with him almost 1 month a half.he texted me everyday sometimes twice a day. asking how i am. buying me a gift
but still i dunno exactly what he wants. i wanna ask him but some guy just dont want to get serious relationship im afraid that i will ruin anything. everytime i wanna ask him, we always ended up on bed. yes i slept with him after few dates. im admited that im sexually active.we have a great sex. but i dont want to waste my time with a man who is playing games. or should i leave him?
how to ask him ?
thank u so much. xoxo
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mingo says:
Let me ask ‘cowok-cowok bule’ in this blog, where did you meet your Indonesian women?
I have no idea what cowak-cowak means, however I met my wife, yes wife 16 years ago, I was sitting on the street one night in Jakarta feeding a half a dozen hungry kids from a small food cart when she walked out of where she worked and kicked me , saying you are embarassing us, WE CAN FEED OUR OWN KIDS, She is now my wife of 14 years, strong minded, lovely lady
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Jessicca says:
I’m a teen.and well, just wanna tell y’all my neighbour is italian guy who has married local people (I’m not in Java or Bali) and he is not tall,handsome and rich guy, but his wife marry him just because he is bule.She doesn’t even ever think about his wallet size or whatever.
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Farah says:
..back after another long break from here…
Things not changed much as i could read here 😀
To add things here:
Bule or not a bule, Love is not blind!! It sees all the virtues and flaws in the other person and weighs up how much you’d like to be with that person, regardless of their flaws of course.
Its you who actually decide whether the flaws is “forgiven” or not, whether you could accept them or not forever by your side for the rest of your life…so it actually sees more and not less as they said! (hey why do they had “falling in love at first sight anyway?)We can not choose to whom we falling in love also, thats what happens here! why we debating or judging so much about this bule-indonesian girl relationship?
………….but still interesting to talk about hehehehe……
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Martin says:
Asian women should in general be sceptic towards western men. Many times – not always – there are good reasons they have been rejected by western women and had to find new hunting grounds. Read Darwin.
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Stevo says:
Martin, why do you assume its a case of them being “rejected” rather than a matter of choice or preference?
This is the typical line used by the shrill feminist harpies that infest the western world.
Personally I find western women incredibly easy to pick up, but generally prefer other options.
The Anglo Saxton cultures have the worst women on the planet. (USA, Australia, Uk, Canada, NZ) However they are not much of challenge to bed, but a waste of time for anything more serious.
( In order to prove yourself a total idiot, just shrill “you cant generlise like that!”)
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🙂 Martin sounds jealous..Throw her a doughnut, hand over the house keys and come and find out why.
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Maybe Martin has been rejected by a discerning Asian lady Oigal.
I note the subtle racist overtone in Martins little brain-explosion?.
He claims that “Asian” women should be careful of these “rejected” men. The implication being that Western women are a natural first choice, with non westerners being a runner up prize. As if Western women are something to aspire to!
Should South American, Indian, Kazakhstan and African women also be so sceptical Martin, or just Asians ?
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Mike Oxblack says:
Surely if you’re claiming that Western men come here for the ladies because they’re rejects in their own country, then that would be as much a criticism of Indonesia than it would be of these Romeos?
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timdog says:
Ah, you don’t seem to get so much action on this grand old trhead these days; the buffalo is dormant…
I’ll give a little stir: I love this horsesh*t from the sorry old sexual refugees about “feminists”, or best yet, “feminazis”.
For a generation and a half “feminism” in “the west” has been at best a minority sport. In the UK at least you’re more likely to find a woman of child-bearing age pretending to be more stupid than she is (as becoming of a girl), snarling vitriol at the physical appearance of her “sisters”, and fantasing from the age of 19 about weddings and babies.
Feminazis!Classic vision: sorry old sexual refugee, dribbling into his bintang down Jaksa, going on about how life at home was ruined by feminazis and how because of feminism women in the west demand nothing less than Brad Pitt (but at the same time claiming to be able to get western women “easily”), while a working girl approaching retirement age hangs off his arm…
😉
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“For a generation and a half “feminism” in “the west” has been at best a minority sport. In the UK at least you’re more likely to find a woman of child-bearing age pretending to be more stupid than she is (as becoming of a girl), snarling vitriol at the physical appearance of her “sisters”, and fantasing from the age of 19 about weddings and babies.
Feminazis!”This in itself is a rather chauvinistic view that not-so-artfully sidesteps the advances made by women in the West over the last half century, not least over their own sexual freedom. Both genders have equally fallen victim to the affluenza epidemic that stalks the world (and increasingly Jakarta too). Also worth pointing out though that the tired old Jaksa Bintang dribbler cliche is not so much of a goer, in this country at least. They exist but their numbers are small. The endless harping on these chaps is more of a psychological bulwark really, perhaps propping up a febrile sense of conjugal fidelity, and conveniently detracting from the uncomfortable fact that there are plenty of sexually desirable Western men here, as many as the fat sods I’d say, and the fact that many of these chaps get it on with the city’s often sexually predatory females (who, in the capital, usually have their own lives and jobs) perhaps irks them somewhat. The false opposition of female emancipation and sexual liberation doesn’t really hold up in the cold light of day as it’s a biological fact that women have a greater sexual capacity than men.
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Classic vision: sorry old sexual refugee, dribbling into his bintang down Jaksa, going on about how life at home was ruined by feminazis and how because of feminism women in the west demand nothing less than Brad Pitt (but at the same time claiming to be able to get western women “easily”), while a working girl approaching retirement age hangs off his arm…
Sounds like a win – win to me 🙂
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for fuxake, mike, you weren’t supposed to respond seriously; didn’t you see that yellow winking thing down the bottom? 😉
But semi-seriously, you don’t have to go further than this website to hear this steaming nonsense about “feminazis”, sometimes combined – tragically – with some confused stuff about it “all being about looks” for said feminazis, and – all to often and even more tragically – an over-compensatory howl of “You’re jealous of my life!”
(by the way, I don’t think “fat sods” and “sexually desirable
Western men” – by which I assume you mean “conventionally attractive” – has got anything to do with it at all. Some of the very sorriest sexual refugees I’ve encountered in Indonesia would, given a new set of social skills, scrub up very well indeed, while back home I know a good few “fat sods” who have the – ahem – feminazis flocking to them in droves. Jeez peoples, why are you bules all so obsessed with appearance 😉 )Oigal, course it is; it’s a win-win-win actually: if you want to be mean you can always win with a cliche.
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Personally I find most women are ok, aside from the countries where English is a first language. Fortunately there are not many of those. If you throw a dart at a map, its bad luck if it lands on one of British based axis of evil (for women)
I often get on well with German women and they are notoriously liberated. Just like their Asian sisters, they have a very clear idea of what they want and will tell you what is expected. Only the approach is a little different between them.
The Anglo Saxton girls are a confused and conflicted mess with no real identity. They confuse angry and militant with being a strong person. They want special treatment due to them being women, but demand “equality”.
Asian women have their own challenges, after all they are still women. Only the jealous or ignorant actually believe they are subservient and mild mannered.
Of course its simply a matter of preference. Some men may like angry bitter harpies with no sense of self. They can help themselves to my share of that lot.
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“by the way, I don’t think “fat sods” and “sexually desirable
Western men” – by which I assume you mean “conventionally attractive” – has got anything to do with it at all. Some of the very sorriest sexual refugees I’ve encountered in Indonesia would, given a new set of social skills, scrub up very well indeed, while back home I know a good few “fat sods” who have the – ahem – feminazis flocking to them in droves. Jeez peoples, why are you bules all so obsessed with appearance.”We’re talking about the ability to pull without cash negotiations first here, I rather think appearance comes in to it. The above passage cites fat bastards, dashing slim young blades and Western ladies. Glaring by its omission is any mention of local ladies though, who, if they’re not in it for the money, then are also quite likely to pass on the 60 year old grizzled Harly flab in favour of a perter model, if life hasn’t reduced them to penury. There’s also the social skills/sexual refugees howler which ignores the post religious, post-modern shag happy weltanshaung of Western culture. The fact that it’s easy to get it here doesn’t a priori have any ethical dimension, unless you believe sex to be a priori sinful.
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Seeing as you’re still apparently taking it seriously 😉 😉 😉 😉 but at the same time firing as wildly as a trigger-happy farmboy on his first tour of Afghanistan, I’ll pick up some points and attempt to clarify. You talk snootily of my “cliches” and “howlers”, yet then roll out something worthy of beared member of the rockin-n-howling brigade getting all sweaty-palmed about “western decadence”: “the post religious, post-modern shag happy weltanshaung of Western culture”. Lordy! Sign me up!
So presumably, scrape one of the very sorriest sexual refugees off the Jaksa pavement 😉 😉 😉 and parachute him into Club Infintiy in Norwich on a friday night and he’s garunteed to end up going home with 23-year-old fake-tan Fiona come closing time? Are you sure????
(Reminds of perhaps the best of many similar conversations I have had in India over the years, in which an intense young man on the bus demanded to know about “free sex”. I wasn’t quite sure what he meant; he explained: “In your country you can be asking any girl and she will be f*cking you…” Well, not quite, I attempted to say. He shook his head and waggled an admonishing finger at me: “Do not be lying to me sir; I am knowing you are having free sex in England; I am seeing on internet…”
Elsewhere, I once had an equally memorable conversation with a local policeman on the Pakistan-China border. He had been to China several times, and had, he explained, enjoyed much “free sex” there. “They have free sex in China,” he explained, and told me that there were bars and “hotels” there were you could walk straight in and get a girl just as if you were ordering lunch… “Surely you’re talking about something else,” I said; “I’m pretty certain you have to pay for that kind of thing, don’t you?” He roared with laughter and slapped my knee as if I was an idiot: “Of course you have to pay! Free sex always costs money….”)
Interlude over…My retort about your fat sods and desirables straddled the globe (fnarr fnarr), rather than focusing merely on the Jakartan bubble.
I mentioned that I have IN INDONESIA encountered some far-gone bules of the kind to snarl about feminazis, and to inhabit the grimier, cash-only fringes of the night (or to be camped out with a retiree in the suburbs) who would, on looks alone, be expected to do alright – here, there or anywhere.
While BACK HOME I know a good few fat sods who do pretty well – not in your pulsing fantasy in which half-clad atheneans throb and grind against one another in some strobe-lit, hormone bathed substrata before periodically retreating to dark corners with random partners – and looks-be-damned – to copulate like wild bison; no, not there, but in the rather more genteel atmosphere of a few pints down-the-pub, or in the office, or in the park of a summer’s day…Like I said, you feminazi bules are just obsessed with looks…
😉 😉 😉 -
“So presumably, scrape one of the very sorriest sexual refugees off the Jaksa pavement 😉 😉 😉 and parachute him into Club Infintiy in Norwich on a friday night and he’s garunteed to end up going home with 23-year-old fake-tan Fiona come closing time? Are you sure????”
Nope, never said that. The fact that not everyone’s getting a piece has got nothing to do with the fact that those who can get it in the West are able to scale heights of Caligulan sexual decadence that transcend class, gender or religion. There’ll be those who would if they could though, of course, if they only had the looks or the moves.
“So presumably, scrape one of the very sorriest sexual refugees off the Jaksa pavement and parachute him into Club Infintiy in Norwich on a friday night and he’s garunteed to end up going home with 23-year-old fake-tan Fiona come closing time? Are you sure????”
Yep, hardly beyond the bounds of rational expectation. I have absolutely no idea why you think this wouldn’t be the case, aside from your own failings in this department. Whether you’re down the pub or the disco or feeding ducks down the park it amounts to the same thing, and to assert otherwise just smacks of snobbery.
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“it amounts to the same thing, and to assert otherwise just smacks of snobbery”
No it doesn’t actually (by the way, not once have I cast aspertions about your habits, successes, or otherwise; after all, I’m just having a bit of Monday fun here. I will, however, say that I’m rather glad that I “straddle the globe”, so to speak (fnarr fnarr); there are some bules who don’t spend much time back home who seem to have developed a vison of matters sexual in “the west” – I’m usure if they are rose-tinted or lurid scarlet – really as wildly detatched from the actualities as that of that poor lad on the Indian bus)…
Back to the above: as with most things, from Islam to punk rock, there are multiple currents within the “post-sexual revolution”… um… I’m not quite sure what to call it – “market”, shall we say?
On the one hand there is Club Infinity on a Friday night. And within its sweaty confines there certainly are plenty on the prowl for a random encounter (and fair play to them, by all means). In that setting, it has to be noted, that extensive social skills – apart from rudimentary ones; not that there aren’t plenty of folks lacking even them – don’t play a great role, and at least some consideration of conventional “looks” does form the key factor (until the last half-hour, of course).
But an entirely seperate set of things are going on within, say, a semi-extended social group – the people who know the same people, probably went to school with the same people, live in the same town, hang out with the same people, meet the same people when they’re not drunk within a particular community. Within such a group you’ll find people forming, a) real, long-term sexual relationships, b) casual, on-off relationships, and c) total one-offs that were nonetheless seeded (ahem) in pre-existing interactions rather than in nothing more than a dirty dancefloor collision.
An entirely different set of criteria, modes and mores are at play in these two different “sexual spheres” (and it’s in the latter one that the “fat blokes” can do pretty well, if they have the social skills).Obviously to recognise these distinctions you need to have actually at least a memory of having participated in both spheres. If not, you’ll simply view it all down the wrong end of a telescope as one big sweaty room full of rutting rabbits… 😉 😉 😉
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firing as wildly as a trigger-happy farmboy on his first tour of Afghanistan,
those who can get it in the West are able to scale heights of Caligulan sexual decadence that transcend class, gender or religion.
Well that’s it then..I am taking my sitting on a pocket full of personality cliche’ a gone home then, youse blokes are playing rough.
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I dunno, Oigal; we’re bouncing some lovely turns of phrase off one another; you ought to be able to add something!
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Abdul says:
Hello every one,welcome and nice to meet you. I am Abdul from Basingstoke.London. I would like make a good friendship with good knowledge with any one. Are you interested? Whatever you want I will do my best and right. Pls send your good answer. Then I saw all the dating messages in this site. Don’t worry I will make fun and happy in your life. What you think and who will catch me? raafiq dot personal at google mail dot comm touch me.
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Abdul, you need to speak to Mike; he’ll give you a hiking map and a pair of crampons so you can scale the heady heights of Gunung Caligula (I think the trailhead village is called Kampung Klub Infiniti; it’s in Norwich if I’m not mistaken…)
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I mean seriously how many years will I have to wait until I can slip I once was able to scale the Caligulan heights of sexual decadence that transcend class, gender or religion into a conversation.
Although I am taking a punt here (yes, that’s punt) for us poorly educated bush boys, is that toffs way of saying…bloody hell, it’s a lady boy!
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diego says:
Abdul from London? I begin to doubt…, where is London on the map, by the way?
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bad to the bone says:
pip pip ol chaps, i agree with Oigal, we should get our heads out of our posteriors & occassionly talk plain english (‘instead of pretentious journo-speak’)or the locals may think we are from a different planet. –‘guys want women, women want men’-gotta have something on offer though. what you got? besides an egg shaped head & superior english attitude.
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berlian biru says:
Ah good the old cliches are out for another shine up, smiley faced or otherwise.
Seriously what is the obsession with Jalan Jaksa on this forum? It’s a tiny street which at most caters for barely a handful of the old duffers and “sexual refugees” that we hear so much about but if you followed some posters on this forum you’d believe that ninety percent of western expats fitted this stereotype, smiley faces this time being the exception to cover an otherwise pretty exact rule.
I too happen to decry, not feminism per se, I am a fervent believer in the eqality of all human beings, but the joyless dreariness which seems to have infected so many women in western societies (it may be an Anglo-Saxon thing admittedly). It may be unfair to blame the feminist movement, maybe women from these societies were always so unappealling it was simply that before mass transport no one knew any better.
I managed to have quite a few relationships with very beautiful western women (photos from my private collection that haven’t, yet, been disposed of by my good lady wife are available for a small fee as evidence of my claims) in the thirty five years of my life before I discovered that Indonesia was somewhere other than the collection of islands you flew over before you reached Australia.
However I simply now find western women to be totally unattractive as sexual partners. There is something unutterably dowdy and tiresome about even the young women I see here as backpacking tourists compared to the vibrancy and sensuousness of Indonesian women.
As an example of this there is a young woman from England who works in my office. She is in her early twenties and if she made the least effort she could be very attractive yet she seems to go out of her way to be as frumpy as possible, one would almost think she was trying to prove some point. She rarely washes her hair (in a society where women often wash their lustrous long hair twice daily). She wears no make-up, fair enough, but she rarely changes her outfits, wearing the same long skirt most days a week. Indonesian female colleagues being the charmingly open people they are often tell her to scrub up a bit, offer to take her out shopping to buy nice clothes and of course she reacts with that soul-destroying chippiness of the average British woman being told to try to make a bit of an effort with her appearance.
This young lady’s attitude I have found to be the norm among western expat women. She is by no means the worst having only one tattoo (God help us, how did Audrey Hepburn get by without tattoos?) and she has not yet gone for the nose stud, perhaps that and the Doc Marten boots will follow soon.
Call me a sexual refugee if you like but you’ll forgive me if I stick to my preference for the natural beauty of Indonesian women all the same. The frowsy, scowling heffalumps of the west will just have to get by without me, I’m sure I won’t be missed.
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For those that want to see the zenith of frumpy angry feminists, go to NZ.
Kiwi girls have the further distinction of being the most promiscuous women in the world. Its the only place where the women have more partners than the men.
I assume this is because only the most desperate of men would dare to service one of these neurotics creatures.
I would take my chances with an Asian bar girl over one of those drunken fat she-beasts any day. The bar girl has probably had less partners too. 🙂
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i m since a week in jakarta and eagerly wants to have girlfriend in indonasia to learn bahasa and to study about real indonasia . girlfriend only because i hv heard that girls are most nice ,friendly and honest to friendship…because i m indian and i believe in emotion. vishnukanth