Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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Farah says:
@littlefair
Just try to see things from my point of view. Kalau kamu pikir aku masuk akal… silahkan di terima masukannya… kalau ngga.. yah monggo… jalan terus.. anggap angin lalu:
hello, im 16 years old from west java. i really love anything about european and american. im sorry if my english were bad. im learning by my self and only at school. my dad have a bakery in my city, and my mum is a skin-doctor. but they dont care much about me bcuz their profession 🙁
This is why i feel dont like to answer to you. You are a selfish and SPOILED girl. Please read that over and over. I had no sympathy on you-sorry to say.
Kamu cuma mikir diri sendiri dan kelewat manja.
Why?
If you’re parent too busy for their work, its for paying your COURSES and over priced school.. maybe for your CAR or your POCKET MONEY or preparing for your UNIVERSITY FEE. Never say that they DONT CARE ABOUT YOU.
Bisa2nya kamu bilang mereka gak peduli sama kamu gara2 sibuk, egois banget!
If you just neglected, uneducated street girl, i would give you a little sympathy, but you sound well educated, and well taken care.
i really want to go to the english courses, but i dont have much time..
Unless if YOU had 9 CHILDRENs and THREE different JOBS, never say DONT HAVE TIME for studying. Baru juga 16 tahun kok bisa2nya bilang gak sempat belajar.
Listening english song, try to find the meaning and say it right, its a way to learn english. Belajar dari lagu, dengar musik, cari arti per kata di lirik lagu, itu belajar. Jangan bilang GAK ADA WAKTU.
i was on ganesha operation, and piano courses, and i was trainning taekwondo since im 9. 🙁 but in my school, my english is not too bad, am.. i can understand english perfectly. but its hard to explain that. my tenses is really suck 🙁 ( i hope i can have alot friends who can taught me english online.. bcuz i really want to have scholarship or get into international college 😉 (thats may just a dream, but i will really trying to reach it as long as i can do)
Same, i learn so hard that barely had time for my self. I did taekwondo too since i was 11 until i was 17. I even practicing on sunday, and had other extra curricular at school like swimming once a week and red cross, also basketball three times a week, even practice until midnight sometimes if it close to province championship.
I am dreaming scholarship as my parents not able to pat the whole tuition fee. I got it.
If you try hard, you could get it, never gave up on small obstacles.now im falling in love with my slovenian friend. i know him from facebook (he was a great runner athlete in slovenia. 2 best in slovenia), then i also have a webcam with him on skype. he is the first european person who taught me more about english. if im typing the wrong english words, he will correct that. hes really sweet..but when i told him that i like him, he said if i am crazy. and if we will together, his friends will make a fun of him. because im asian and he is european. is im wrong ?
I think he is RIGHT. You were 16, and falling in love with someone you NEVER met.
But you know what?
HE DOESNT DESERVE YOU.
You sound smart, you might not that ugly too, HOW DARE he said things like that???? he embarrass that you become his girlfriend??
Kalau dia benar2 cinta dan sayang sama kamu, dia bakalan bangga tentang kamu, he will be proud of being your boyfriend, he even might insist to tell about you to his friends!! kalau dia memang sayang dan cinta kamu, dia bakalan gak sabar kasih tau semua orang, teman2 sama keluarga…
Yah kalau dia ngomong gitu… artinya dia gak sehati sama kamu tuh… maybe he just think of you as ONLINE friend, not more.
Plenty fish in the sea sist… you just 16.. study harder, get those scholarship… and you will forget that LOOSER. Nangti kamu bakalan ketemu yang lebih keren lagi dari mahluk GAKE JELAS kek temen kamu itu!
I could guarantee that 1000%
Hope that help to WAKE YOU UP!
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Belpheron says:
I have had nothing but good experiences with Indonesian girls. I wasn’t seeking out a girl specifically from indonesia, I casually started talking to one online. Very beautiful inside and out, I can see why there are forums dedicated to meeting them. I ended up marrying her after about six months of meeting her. She was 16 when I first met her so she is of age and now we are expecting.
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@ belpheron
I had nothing against “young love”. I believe in something like everyone had their own destiny, some married at age14 or 16, or maybe 42 even 60!But its just a suggestion, as i see she had nothing to worry about but her study as her parents provide her with what every girls want. Good education and of course extra facilities (not all girls could join a piano class!). Why need to rush??
If its only puppy love-geez.. ya that’s cute… but something serious like marriage? well…. 16 is when all girls got those crazy hormonal stuff… i wont recommend such serious thing.. as marriage (for me) is a very important thing-most of us want that only once, last life time.
Think twice, three times even more, all the consequences are yours! 🙂 congrats on the baby btw!
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Thanks Farah! I’m well aware of young girls and their hormones making them do crazy things. But we both feel that this is what we want, I have been with many young girls before and know that they are not mature enough for marriage yet. For example I was living in Canada when the age of consent was 14 and I was involved with many girls around that age and most were really not looking for long term relationships. We experienced what you call “puppy love” in those cases so I never once thought of marrying any one of those girls.
My wife is different though. She is very mature for a 16 year old and pretty much has her future planned out as far as school goes. We hope to have another baby before she turns 18 so we can move to USA.
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sobhana says:
16?? omg. dude! you could’ve might as well just tied her up and threw her over your shoulder.
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I know shes kinda young, but I didn’t force her into it. I would say that she wanted it as much as I did.
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In any case, I suppose a congratulations is in order. You have definitely defeated some of the odds.
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Thanks sobhana, I’m very lucky to have my beautiful wife, she looks especially beautiful pregnant 🙂
What do you mean I defeated the odds?
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the odds of getting serious with a 16 year old girl. If in fact she is all that, mature and especially confident of marrying an older man (how old did you say you were?), I must say that is particularly rare.
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Oh ok. As with any relationship there has to be compatibility, trust, chemistry, and many other things to make it work. We have all that so I guess that adds to her confidence. I am 31 and I have been dating teenage girls for years now, even younger than 16 so that has never been a problem. I guess the odds of finding a girl as young as her who is mentally and emotionally stable is against the odds.
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wait and you’re 31??? and you have been having sex with girls even younger than 16??? like when you were in your late 20s??? isn’t that like called statutory rape??? i mean if you were in your 40s then perhaps it would be fine to date someone half your age because that means they would be of legal age, but someone half your age now would be a teenager while you are already considered an adult. i’m sorry this is a bit hard for me to swallow. my bf is 5 years younger than me but he’s like 21+
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Yes like I said I was having sex with 14 year old girls when that was the legal age in canada a few years back and in other countries, so no it is/was not statutory rape.
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agan says:
^I blame Mas Achmad Sudarsono’s bootleg DVD for this.
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Mike says:
I live in Singapore and an Indonesian friend (a girl who already had a boyfriend but had many legit friends- and he knows about me) asked if I wanted to meet in Batam. I took the ferry and met her for about three days. She took me around to different places and I met many of her friends. They were all very friendly and none ever seemed to want to take advantage of me. In fact, she paid (or her friends) for over half the stuff and many times I never paid for one thing at the bar. I offered to take them to lunch, but it cost me less than two drinks at a bar because they took me to a local place (this was for five people).
So I decided to come back to Batam a few weeks ago- this time by myself. I ended up going to the same places I did last time. A few of the girls recognized me, and of course there were new ones working off and on (I think there is high turn-over in the bars?). One of the girls I met before introduced me to even more of her friends- none of them that I met last time. She said that three of them want to come back to my room and have some drinks. They would bring a bottle of vodka and some mixers. So I agreed and we all headed back around 2am. Then one of them left and brought back a fourth. Two of them went swimming with me, and the other two sat and talked by the pool. It was really just innocent fun. They had cigarettes (I had too much, cough cough) and drinks and it was a great time. Around 4am, it was a bit cold and we all went back inside. The two that went swimming had no other clothes so they had to wrap themselves in towels for sleep. Of course, there was only on king bed and just enough room for five people. I won’t go into any more details, but by the end of the morning they were all referring to me as their husband (jokingly of course).
This same situation was repeated two more nights until finally I had to leave. But it was always the same schedule: sleep in late, get some lunch, go back and do some work, go get some drinks, order some cheap dinner to the bar, some dancing and then back to my room with all four. On two of the nights, they brought their own full bottle of vodka and red bull, sprite, etc. I had one duty free bottle that I had in the fridge and only brought it out because I felt bad. They brought their own smokes as well. The only thing I did was offer to get food, which I did on three occasions (costing me less than 300,000Rupiah for all three meals- probably less than I would have spent if I went on my own). In fact, a couple of them were very cuddly and just wanted to lay down beside me and hug. Then when one would get up, another would lay down in the same way. I felt like the middle of an Oreo. And they were friends with no jealousy- just showing a vulnerable and loving side- how is that different than any other woman in the world?
I know they all had places to live, at least one car (because they gave me a ride to the ferry on the last day), and one even had a maid that cooked for me, so I was blown away that they would spend the time with me. But it makes me feel terrible reading many of the sad stories written on here, so here is a different perspective:
Some of these girls are doing what they have to do to survive in a world with limited choices. Yes, I do believe some are game players and will have multiple boyfriends, caretakers, etc. But think about this- didn’t it start with a bule or Singaporean that set the precedence? I am not self-loathing, but I am a realist and I know that the person with the perceived power (the money in this case) sets the rules and the others have to find a way to survive the game. If you took 90% of these girls and actually showed that you cared, fell in love and gave a real commitment, took care of them (just like you would a real girlfriend or wife), then they would be the most loyal and loving women you could find. But we all know that most every foreigner that comes there is looking for quick sex and when you go straight to that it is hard to learn about the real person (I am not knocking going straight to sex, it just didn’t happen that way this time). Whenever I went into a bar I would never go up and grab any girl or talk dirty to them or tell them I want to see them later. I would always just have simple conversation and tell them I was just there to get away from busy Singapore for a while – which was the truth. Don’t get me wrong- many of those girls are very beautiful and I would love to do many things with them as soon as possible, but I don’t have an aggressive personality so I usually just go to bed unless something crazy like this happens.
To summarize, I had a very memorable weekend because of four very sweet and beautiful girls. I plan on going back soon, and they all want to come to Singapore to stay with me (I told them all four or none because I don’t want pressure). I would consider them friends, but there is also feelings there (at least on my side for two of them). Once again, there was no money changing hands and I never paid for anything that I wouldn’t normally pay for if I was with other friends (guys). They may be working on me as a long term project, but I don’t feel any pressure and I know where to draw the line. If at some other time I fall in love (I could see that happening with two of them because of their personalities), then I would pursue a real relationship at that time. I imagine that the ones that are still single will still be doing their bar job thing, and that is OK because they need to survive. I see them and everyone I meet around the world as an equal.
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@ Mike. Wow please dream a little dream for all of us. No pressure indeed. You were picked up by the fabulous four slut-version Batam sex and the city-wannabes looking to have a good time.
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Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the most important part- their names: Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte. I knew that sounded a bit familiar.
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@ mike
geezz.. what an active imagination you had there! can’t even tell if thats really happens or just some cheap imaginary sex story.Threesome is something…. sound like you went to batam playboy house and playing “desperate house wife” with the bunnies! and all wants to be your wife.. awww.. thats so UBER SWEET! (especially because you belief that!)
Anyway.. good luck with your bunnies! one woman is hard to keep… 4??? geez…. hahahah! i’ll pray for your luck!
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I never described this as being a fivesome. I left that part ambiguous on purpose. And the point of the story was to just say that sometimes there can be companionship and fun without calling the girls sluts or having the guy be a predator. I am not trying to keep four women- are you crazy?
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@ mike: well done. all just fun and games until someone falls in love. you kno you shouldn’t f*ck with girls you f*ck with.
@ farah: four IS too much, pretty sure they still prefer their women single/chicks in twos. (a lil drake reference there for ya) lol -
missingchips says:
*throwing popcorn at random directions
This is surely better than watching chick flicks, :D, lol.
Mike here, imo, just trying to prove a point, that, indeed Indonesian women, contrary to seemingly the popular believe, can actually take a good care of themselves. They pay for their own meal, drive their own car/motobike, and just be as independent and sophisticated as let’s say, Samantha.
This is probably not the mainstream (as we can see the references told from some foreigner’s pov here), but of course, there are too many factors, and backgrounds, and histories, to make a generalization out of it. So, until someone bring me a research based and scientific data, I will be staying in the neutral zone.
We attract things we want, that more often than not, resemble our own self. This, I believe.
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@ mike
In bed with other 3 girls, with no clothes on and a guy in between.. geez… seriously if you say that you are Mount MERAPI victims and you’re evacuated at a football stadium–i would believe this easier.. 4 girls a guy, two naked and its just innocent thing and sure NONE SLUT (Ameeeeen!). I really do like this part… if all girls like these four.. oh my.. world would be BETTER PLACE.And all they do just pouring you with love, cooking together and being “house wife” pretending you’re the husband.. ya ya ya.. i hope you do say LA LA LAND but Batam.
About the PREDATOR guy.. maybe i should check your age, and those girls age. If you found them in school uniform, age 13-14.. yeah thats predators stuff. But if they above 18, and 4 of them two are naked just with towels sleeping in one bed… alcohol involve too and yeah… also with a bule….
Sorry.. your INNOCENT story just too good to be true.
I had question.. when they said they want to go to Singapore… whos going to pay?? you.. or them self?? no worries.. just checking again.
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I would like to stand up for these women, but it is hard. Unless they are well-educated, independent and charming, it is hard to accept that Indonesian women in general have no ulterior motives. They make themselves a shallow and easy target.
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@ sobhana
……..or they just playing dumb to get the “innocent” bule for a good “future” catch.. even if thats not fully true.Either they are too dumb.. or too smart.. sometimes i just too upset to comment (read few post above…especially about that 16 yo girl with her ONLINE bf)
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well-educated, independent and charming
Agree. As I can tell without problem, sobhana, farah, pringles, and the other ladies who have stated their opinions and ideas, oh so passionately, here on this very forum, are the fine example. I feel that this is an honor to be able to exchange comments with witty and intelligent ladies like you are. ^_^
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@ farah: yeah i read that post. omg can she be anymore transparent? kasian bener, lemot gitu. these days I guess online relationships are fine, but jelas-jelas cowok ni ga serius. Apa dia harapan satu-satunya? I wish these girls had more self-confidence. Not jual-mahal, tapi punya harga diri gitu.
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@ missingchips: haha, omg i hope you’re not being sarcastic. it is imperative that we get our message out and keep a safe distance from the likes of women who succumb to the whims of man and from men who think their destiny is to lure us into their chambers.
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I’m sorry I wasn’t more precise. They were all 28 -33. I am 39. I am not interested in someone that is below 25. I thought I was being complimentary and telling a good story, but no matter what someone has to get mad. I am sure much worse things have happened in France, Germany or the USA. I’ve lived in LA LA Land (los angeles) and heard the stories. People from anywhere in the world are no different than people from the most prosperous countries- that’s the point I was trying to make in the end. But I’m not going to let mean comments ruin my memorable weekend. What if it is a made up story- would that change anything?
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@missingchips
..thanks.. just trying to help to OPEN some girls eyes in here about bule.. that they are also human, not a God not everything.. some good some bad..@sobhana
I rarely agree with you.. but tonight i would say, yes… i do agree with you!
Bukan jual mahal, tapi milih2 kek! mau aja di injak2 sama cowok… padahal pintar, orang tua mampu.. mau aje dia dipermalukan kek gitu.. hih! sebel…Pa lagi di Jakarta banyak banget bule esmud keren seliweran.. haduuhhh ngapaaaiiiinnn juga sama yang online!! kalo “najur” pasang umpan yang bener.. dapat ikannya juga banyak… lah.. mancing pake “selang” gak pake otak.. dapatnya yahh… gak jauh2 dari cowok brengsek gak jelas deh!
Mau one night stand tapi pake hati.. haduuhh …bodoh kuadrat dah!
@ mike
ok.. let see things this way.. if they are that sincere and sweet and innocent.. just want to help a stranded bule in the name of humanity..Do you think they will do the same if its me whos stranded in Batam? will they gave me free car ride and enjoy some swimming pool fun? for FREE?
Maybe its not a made up story.. maybe they are RICH lonely woman in Batam who “thristy” of guy.. or let say in indonesia they call it “JABLAY” but .. you’re very wrong by saying it INNOCENT FUN.
It is very hard for me not calling those girls you with a slut. Sorry.. even if i tell this story to my Californian girl friend they will say those girls are slut or whore. What kind of girl staying in one bed inn a hotel when SHE HAD HER OWN HOUSE????
Respectful?? Sorry, i just laugh on that. I dont know whats the morality of the story….meet girls at bar, had INNOCENT FUN night with them, and SEX just happens, not that you plan it and you back to your home FALLING IN LOVE with girls whos going exactly do the same to next FIRST bule that stranded in BATAM… INNOCENT FUN with SEX thats just happens without a plan.
You’re stupid. Better check your self for STD’s.
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@ Mike: Indonesian women hold high standards in self-esteem, or at least should. That’s what my mom taught me. We are still a “developing” country I suppose, and to see/hear that we have women who appear to be degrading themselves willingly, makes matters even worse. I know for a fact that those women shall be judged even harsher. Pretty sure the stories around the world are pretty much the same, by any standards women who engage in bodily contact parties are refered to as sluts.
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hello, im 16 years old from west java. i really love anything about european and american. im sorry if my english were bad. im learning by my self and only at school. my dad have a bakery in my city, and my mum is a skin-doctor. but they dont care much about me bcuz their profession 🙁
i really want to go to the english courses, but i dont have much time..
i was on ganesha operation, and piano courses, and i was trainning taekwondo since im 9. 🙁 but in my school, my english is not too bad, am.. i can understand english perfectly. but its hard to explain that. my tenses is really suck :(( i hope i can have alot friends who can taught me english online.. bcuz i really want to have scholarship or get into international college 😉 (thats may just a dream, but i will really trying to reach it as long as i can do)
and…
now im falling in love with my slovenian friend. i know him from facebook (he was a great runner athlete in slovenia. 2 best in slovenia), then i also have a webcam with him on skype. he is the first european person who taught me more about english. if im typing the wrong english words, he will correct that. hes really sweet..but when i told him that i like him, he said if i am crazy. and if we will together, his friends will make a fun of him. because im asian and he is european. is im wrong ?
and im really sorry if my english were really bad :((( i want to learning english more. please help !!