Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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jamal says:
@dianmyname
When things are relaxed and I try to talk with her about subjects which she doesn’t like, it’s right away done. She tells me that she doesn’t want to talk about it. I go ‘but?!’ and there she goes, slaming a door on her way out.
So there is no way to talk with her about these things without getting into a fight.I tried a lot of different things to come to a middle ground and nicer communication between us, but it’s useless.
I’m at the end of my rope, I don’t have to live with this all the time. Our relationship hurts me (us) more than it makes us happy.
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lialita says:
i just watch and read all comments here.. i enjoyed though,.. how are you guys ?
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dianmyname says:
@Jamal
It looks like talking to the wall ha??
Divorce is the only way out..u have taken all those action to make things better
But seemed no good response but ignorance n stubborness she showed to u.
She really knows how to piss u off:-)Your marriage is not healthy anymore.
Everyone deserves a better happy life but in humanity ways..not by using or hurting someonelse.
Good luck:-)
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ET says:
@ onlyme
But friends in campus are not less difference, yes it’s true that they are educated but I was quite surprised when I know some of them think that he give me monthly fund.
If your own kind react like this then why were you surprised and chocked when
now I found out how foreigner men see Indo girls. It surprises me. Yes maybe it’s too late for me knowing about it just now.
It seems everybody agrees here, Indonesians and foreigners alike.
@ jamal
Can’t you see she’s playing games? Be a man, reverse the silly power game and dump her. Clean cut.
Remember what Napoleon said: la seule victoire dans l’amour est la fuite (the only victory in love is the flight).@ sobhana
did you know that Indonesia is one of the most racist countries in the world?
It’s good to know.
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onlyme says:
@jono
it’s not about who gonna stay in the house and be responsible for the household. But the thing is, I have responsibility for my family. As an eldest daughter. I’m responsible to support my sister&brother and also my parents. If I don’t do good with my career then how come I can fulfill my obligation. I’m not the type of ‘if-you-marry-me-then-you-marry-my-family-girl’. I want to keep him away from my family business. Even I never let him pay for my shopping so there is no way I will let him support my family. Recently this become our issue. Tell me, do I have too high pride??
@sobhana
personally i think they are just frustrated with their sad existence with no diversity in their lives and wants everyone to be senasib dengan mereka. wow!
I couldn’t help not to laugh on this sentence. Indeed, it’s very true! Somehow the way people SIRIK is a way too amusing. Seriously! haha
@jamal
I agree with dianmyname, it’s not healthy relationship. Even though I never been married before, but it’s like a timer bomb, you hold yourself until your last nerve then boom! The damage will be worse. Divorce is not always the way out, but it’s not bad either.@ET
because I never expect them to have that kind of thought both from indonesian or foreigner side. My play mate are some foreign students and also indonesian students (with high level understanding of diversity), those that I talked about were my campus friends, I didn’t hang out too much with them, thus they easily judge me. It’s like on my circle, relationship with nationality difference is okay, many have it, but when I step out from the shell I found lots of ugly truth. -
I’m just wondering
For foreigner men,
if you see a man (foreigner too) walk hand on hand with an Indonesia girl, what you think about him?
just curious
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if you see a man (foreigner too) walk hand on hand with an Indonesia girl, what you think about him?
If he’s old, lucky bastard.
If he’s young, ignorant fool.🙂
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@ ET
haha, and how about the girl? 🙂 -
disillusioned says:
@onlyme
If I’m honest, it depends on the age for me to. If he’s a old man, I mean 20 years older and looking ugly, I have also negative thoughts. And if she is looking very pretty to, I can’t believe that there is love why she is together with him. You can see the difference also in the behaviour from them. The ugly one use every possibility to show her arround in clubs and brag, this couples who realy loves each other dont have to and dont like to do that.
Don’t be silly onlyme, that doesn’t fit in your case i guess, notthing what you should think about 😉
Everything is about love and the lifestyle, if there is love, and everyone can see if it is, then also a big difference in the age wouldn’t be a problem, but that’s very rare i guess.
It’s difficult, I know, but you shouldn’t take care what others think about your relationship, be yourself and proud that god helped you found the real love 🙂
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and how about the girl?
She wins again.
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@ disillusioned
Because it’s really happen on my case. He is 17 years older than me. He is my mentor. If people questioned it, I don’t know either why I can fall for him, but the fact is I really really love him. But feeling is something abstract and others can’t see it.
@ ET
Do you hate all girls? or Indonesia girls only? -
@onlyme
that’s why i wrote it can hapends, but it’s rare! Again, if you love him, there is everything ok then. But you know, there are many girls who just like the status he can give her and then it’s wrong, just my opinion.
You are not like this girls, those are too lazy to think about such things and write such questions in a forum like this one. Those don’t care what others will think about their relationship, they don’t think at all, just act egoistic and take whatever they can get. I call them ignorant and cold hearted!
And hey, thank you that you speak with us about this matters, because you and some other indo women here gave me back my hope 🙂 Have really to change my mind now and not to judge again so many indo women as i did in the last months. I guess now i really had bad luck in my case 🙁
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@ disillusioned
Being ignorant not always good. Before I didn’t care what other say/think. I just know that he loves me and I love him, that’s all. But since I know that some people thoughts are wrong, we just can’t let this misunderstanding continued, right?
and honestly why I brought this on the forum, I also want to know what people think about him. If I got this pressure from my society, then maybe he also get the pressure too. I want to do something that can ease it. He has career and he has status, I don’t want to ruin it, I’m afraid that his collague think bad/low about him because he’s with Indonesian girl!
dear disillusioned, it’s not easy for the girls too believe me, if they really sincere. They have to consider about their family, culture, ans society, and in the same time have to adjust with the men custom too. It’s hard to do..
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deta says:
Do you hate all girls? or Indonesia girls only?
😀 😀
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But since I know that some people thoughts are wrong, we just can’t let this misunderstanding continued, right?
You have to! You are not responsible what others think about, you can not change the mind of other people!
If they are really good friends, they can see that you’re happy and in love and then they can understand and won’t think negative! All others are not really friends and you can just ignore them! It’s not easy to find out who is a real friend, but we have to recognise the real ones. It’s a never ending process and accompanies us the whole life.He has career and he has status, I don’t want to ruin it, I’m afraid that his collague think bad/low about him because he’s with Indonesian girl!
Two things about this sentence; first, in western it’s not very usual to have a big age difference, because mostly the interessts and the lifestyle are too different if the age difference is too big. That’s why also in here many people are very sceptical with such relationships. But also here, there ARE lucky couples with big age differences and if they fits together, they don’t have to account for anything to anyone! That’s their thing and has not to concern someone else.
Second thing is, it has nothing to do that you are Indonesian! That happends overall the world! Maybe it’s more difficult for you, because there are a lot of such other girls we spoke about in indo, that’s why. And for him the same as I told you already, if his friends condemn him, they are not really friends! It’s his decision what is more important for him, to be together with a woman he loves, or what other people think about him. I guess he decides already and he did a good decision 😉
At summary, I know it’s not easy for you and for him, but again, the most important is you love each other! If you managed to get here and understand this, the worst is over. 🙂
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Do you hate all girls? or Indonesia girls only?
Did I say something wrong?
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@ET
Sometimes you sounds little bit embittered 😉
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@ disillusioned
Maybe it’s more difficult for you, because there are a lot of such other girls we spoke about in indo, that’s why.
This is why I was a bit sad (and freaked out) when I found this blog, to know that Indo girls has bad reputation 🙁
in western it’s not very usual to have a big age difference, because mostly the interessts and the lifestyle are too different if the age difference is too big.
this kind of information that I need. So I can see from westerners pov too.
Anyway you’ve helped me a lot! I’m glad that I joined this forum!
Thanks guys! 🙂disillusioned, good luck for you, hope the right girl find you! 🙂
@ ET
nope, I was just asking 🙂
mind to answer? -
Sometimes you sounds little bit embittered
OK, next time I’ll wrap it up in pink. With a cherry on top.
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OK, next time I’ll wrap it up in pink. With a cherry on top.
*claps* 🙂
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This is why I was a bit sad (and freaked out) when I found this blog, to know that Indo girls has bad reputation 🙁
You know, if I’m honest to myself, I can understand this! I guess many Bule (me too) are to naive and can’t handle or understand the behaviour of such girls from poor countries. But that’s only because we never had to live with such money related problems. I mean, I never had to go hungry or asking me how I will pay my bills tomorrow or where I can sleep next night. I never had the fear to become jobless and loose everything from one day to the other, because we have a very good and secure social government institutions here.
But in Indo it looks totally different and I don’t know how I would act when I would had grow up in indonesia. Maybe I would also attempt just to find a person who takes me out of this difficulty and sadly daily problems. Maybe I would also ignore or second rate my feelings about love then and just try to reach a better standard of living.
Good luck for you both too 🙂
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Maybe I would also attempt just to find a person who takes me out of this difficulty and sadly daily problems
Mmm, hopefully not all indo girls/boys think like this. No matter how poor this country, it has invested something on my life. The university and school building where I study, my scholarship, the road, etc. Nothing wrong with being an Indonesian actually 🙂
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@onlyme
Geez.. Why we have to spend time thinking of what people say or think???
That’s we call open minded.. Accepting the diffrences colour skin, race, status, culture, blablabla
Its all depends on us to take the bad or good side from those differences.
In your case..there are some people can’t accept those differences, that’s why u feel so annoyed.
They only see things n think based on their low knowledge n education,
they live n think in their own box that can’t see that new things not always bring negative effects.Just do what u think its right n the best for both of u n for your family.
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@ dianmyname
I just want to know and if it doesn’t make sense to me, I’ll leave it. Open my mind for any pov but not let all of them in, anyway thank you! 🙂
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Mmm, hopefully not all indo girls/boys think like this.
Of course not, you are the real proof 😉
I love Indonesia, the people (without this girls we spoke about 😉 ) I like the culture and the traditions, the beautiful landscape and crazy I know, the language 😉You all can be proud to your country! It’s not easy to change this corruption things in such a short time for a young country, because that is Indo after 50 years and this history with three and a half centuries of Dutch colonialism.
semoga hari anda menyenangkan 🙂
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shawty says:
Lived in Europe, I never regret to born as Indonesian it taught me n my Fam to work hard since very beginning cos yeah no gov social insurance to help us..fight for what we deserve to fight for..the good thing less tax..
this is sometimes what western countries men don’t understand and less or more it does effect dating life between Indo girl n western men but yeah which western country also speak different.. -
@ shawty
mostly what’s the obstacle in indo girl and western man relationship?
if you don’t mind.@ disillusioned
sama sama ! 🙂
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onlyme
mostly what’s the obstacle in indo girl and western man relationship?
Indo girls’ obsession with their handphones. At least in my case.
Aduh.
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HAHAHA, agree ET 😉 not one minute this f….g Blackberry can turned off 😉
Always group chatting, OMG I hate this thing so much, “dading dading”!
I was jealous to a damn phone!!!! Hahahaha, the phone got much more attention than me 😉 I had put once her BB in a Sushi bar as joke on the conveyor belt 😀 The whole restaurant laughed a lot 😉
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@ET
having one indonesian wife is already more than 2 hands full, don’t want to think about having 2 or 3 ! no way !