Mojopahit Empire
Oct 13th, 2007, in Opinion, by Achmad SudarsonoAchmad envisages a new Mojopahit Empire with Australia as vassal state.
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New columnist Achmad Sudarsono sees Australia destined for client state status under a revived Mojopahit Empire. |
Australia’s defeat in the Rugby World Cup at the hands of Britain on October 6th was more than a humiliation. It was a sign of a culture that is failing on every level and won’t admit it.
Achmad has long argued that dress-wearing and playing with Dollies, long trademarks of the Aussie Rugby team, is no way to train. But Australia’s pathetic defeat was no accident.
219 years after its founding, Australia has fallen off the map and into stagnation. The October 6th defeat, brought on by laziness, beer, meat pies and chips, is just another landmark on the journey to Australia’s final destination: vassal status in a revived Mojopahit empire (see map).
Australian backpackers and expats (real ex-pats, not the derelict Blok M’ers we have here), live in denial, desperately clutching at the Sydney Olympics, and Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardis Gras to prove how cosmopolitan they are. They doth protest too much. Australia elected John Howard in 1996, not the fish and chip shop Nazi Pauline Hanson, but they run the same campaign – stick the wogs in a concentration camp, close the borders, flip on Blue Heelers and Home and Away.
At home, Aussies proudly point to their booming economy. What’s there to be proud of in ripping coal, bauxite, tin, LNG, and wheat out of the ground and flogging them to Asia? Up here, of course, the economies genuinely are built on innovation, thrift and hard work. 219 years on from when Australia started as a quarry and a farm, nothing’s changed. Only the masters have. First it was British, then the Americans. Soon it’ll be China and India. Get that rickshaw ready, Aussie, I’ll be taking a ride, boy.
Indeed, the Asians are taking over the few bastions of thinking left in Aussie. Stroll through any half-decent science or technology faculty at an Aussie Uni. It’s all Choudrys and Chongs. Chances are any of pair round eyes you’ll see’ll be staring out from a brown skin.
Meanwhile, Asia is thriving. Indonesia, like China and India, is a slowly waking dragon that once roused, is unstoppable. Of course, it’s true – Aussie has things we need; coal, tin, chalk, real-estate. But unlike our European “friends”, we realize outright colonisation isn’t an morally acceptable.
Instead, Australia will become just another mendicant, begging (on its knees) for favours from a new Mojopahit federation, gradually coalescing in the North. If Australia can’t even win a Rugby game, how can it resist the rise of Asia? After all, Rugby is really a contest of which team has the thickest skulls and fewest brain cells. (It has none of the subtleties of sepak takraw or badminton). International affairs is infinitely more subtle and complex, qualities we Javanese excel at. No wonder Indonesia was never a big Rugby nation.
The message is simple: Move over Aussie, the Indon man’s time is here.
141 Comments on “Mojopahit Empire”
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Dragonwall says:
But more generally, could you keep the comments focused on systematically insulting Australians and Bules in general
Let the world know when Mojopahit rules, so that everyone give praise to a new Genghis Khant.
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Tammy Ho says:
Dragonwall:
Let the world know when Mojopahit rules, so that everyone give praise to a new Genghis Khant.
Can you elaborate please? For all I know Jenghis Khan (or in my history lesson in SD, Kubilai Khan) only conquered up to Kalimantan where he (or is man) was married to the local queen. I don’t think he ever ruled Mojopahit.
PS: interesting fact, my friend did a research for his BA on Jenghis Khan and found out that they guy had 5000 children, direct descendants. How he managed to conquer the world between his busy time, I have no idea.
Achmad:
Can’t stop smiling reading your last comments. So cynical as usual 🙂 -
Achmad Sudarsono says:
Tammy,
If Gengis was shagging 5 times a week, with a 20 % “hit” rate, he’d have about 500 kids in 10 years. It’s unlikely he’d have 500 direct descendants. It’s even more unlikely whoever was doing the sampling had their DNA samples accurate because you’d first have to establish the genuine DNA line to Gengis Kahn. How many losers in Mongolia, Tibet, Azerbaijan, Turkey and other parts of his former empire do you think would be willing to claim they were the “direct descendants of Gengis Kahn” ?
Thanks for smiling, that’s definitely worth a portfolio in the new Mojopahit Cabinet.
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Achmad,
I don’t know what grade my friend got for his research on Jenghis Khan, but he said 5000, not 500! That’s even more bizarre.On Mojopahit Cabinet:
Just make sure that whoever is posted as the Defence Minister knows the Mojopahit Kingdom is up to the Philippines, and has to prepare us to claim Malaysia back. Therefore the dispute about who owns Rasa Sayange song is solved.Mojopahit rules!
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dewaratugedeanom says:
Sputjam said
Despite the supposedly greatness of the majapahit empire, there were no written books found to justify the event, even though the indian sanskrit influence was evident. We must not make assumption of a great empire spreading far and wide.
One more reason to make it better now.
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Aluang Anak Bayang says:
Re,
Fred Floggle Says: +0
October 25th, 2007 at 3:00 pm
Australian Aid to its impoverished neighbour to the North = A$458.8 millionIndonesian Aid to its prospering neighbour to the south = Rp 0
End of story I think”¦..
It is tribute money that Australia reluctantly had to give away to keep Indonesia from invading Australia. It was like the yearly Bunga Emas gift the Malayan sultanate paid to the Siam.
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Dear Friends,
Let’s keep our expansionist ambitions in check. The whole Mojopahit thing was, as Gus Dur said, more of a wacana than anything else.
Tammy,
Um, yes, maybe up to Malaysia and the Philippines, but they’re sovereign states now. I suppose I should be more careful with what I say…
Achmad.
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Can’t we make them as commonwealth countries just like Australia, India, etc to UK? Sorry, too excited to think about being in the Mojopahit Cabinet. I guess I’m already suffering from pre-power syndrome….
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TH, I am not referring how Genghis Khan had conquered what ever the countries in his or anyone’s history.
I am referring to a person whose ambitious is that by word of speech, he is trying to revive the Mojopahit Empire by displaying their might that he thought will help him be a new Genghis Khan.
As to how much his descendants there are is left much to be known. As to whether he had conquer or ruled Majapahit is of no concern to us because that was history and cannot be rewritten.
I am sure that you are still unaware that there is someone who is trying to be part of the wayang golek but in greater part trying to potray himself as someone who will be endowed with such greatness.
I was just amazed that such people that are not down to earth, still exists in this world.
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Sputjam says:
insult the australians? we are not qualified to insult anyone. the average “lazy” australians are far more productive than an indonesian and they are far more developed technologically and creative in solving everyday problems using simple logical methods.
1 out of 200 people on the land mass between pacific ocean and austria contained genes related to one man, which many believed to be genghiz Khan.
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ausdag says:
LOL…I have a feeling our friend Achmad is a well-informed Australian with a passion for Java, who has acquired a ‘feel’ for the narrow-minded mentality that one sometimes encounters among ‘educated’ Javanese who spend all their time contributing to online ‘readers comments’ of Gatra and ‘ Republika’and the like, who espouse all sorts of ridiculous conspiracy theories and the like in an effort to overcome their sense of inadequacy as a once-colonised ethnic group who also like to claim that they were colonised for 350 years when in fact it was only something like 120 years if that and Achmad’s writings are a tongue-in-cheek and witty representation of this.
Keep it up Achmad…I like your wit. -
My dear Ausdag,
Surely this is a conspiracy theory:
well-informed Australian
I am no more, no less, than an Indonesian ukele player, pencak silat teacher, cabaret singer and poet. 🙂
I recommend you have a vegemite sandwich and drive off in a fried-out combie before the revolution comes and Dame Edna Everidge becomes junior concubine for the Sultan of Mojopahit – or even me !
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Now that we have a follower of Cheng Ho as Prime Minister, Majapahit no longer looks so inviting.
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Achmad Sudarsono says:
Friend,
As all right-thinking people know, Cheng Ho was an admirer of Mojopahit and wanted to imitate us. Rudd knows this, and he was the closest choice available to the Australian public as a speaker of Indonesian. I take his election as a strong expression of submission to the New Mojopahit. I suggest you, Mr. Vickers, do likewise as quickly as possible.
Achmad.
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Oigal says:
fried-out combie ” tsk tsk tsk….study recent culture more gobble less..
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Oigal — wtf ?? Huh ?? I thought fried-out combie would’ve been your era ?
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@Adrian Vickers
Are you the Adrian Vickers, writer of the book about Bali? -
ausdag said
I have a feeling our friend Achmad is a well-informed Australian
Do you mean Achmad is an oxymoron?
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I confess to being an Adrian Vickers, although around the world there are many, of different sexes, ages and interests. But, yes, I write books, some about Bali, and am very interested in Majapahit (note proper spelling, not the Central Javanese version).
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Hi Adrian Vickers, you are on the right blog if you want more inside info on Mojopahit. I can trace some of my roots back to Kediri and Mojokerto where we Mojopahitans once were heroes. There were a lot of talks about the re-emergence of our great empire, and I believe it is gaining momentum.
The re-establishment of our new and improved Mojopahit empire (note correct spelling and pronunciation in our language, ‘Majapahit’ is in Bahasa Melayu) means an end to imported monotheist religions (yes, all Jesus and Mohammad fans will be send packing back to Lebanon and Israel); the achipelagos will once again be united under Javanese leadership (already started with Ibu Megawati, Gus Dur, then our beloved Pak SBY); we will be marking our territory westward to include all the micro-mela-polynesian islands and then march southward to reclaim Terra Incognito from the British. Indonesia will once again form protective and securitive pact with our former trading partners – India and China.
… more to come
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Mr. Adrian,
Unfortunately, the White Man has forced us to use his alphabet, but Friend, that’s how we say it. It’s also fitting because the rise of the new empire will make the White Man’s “Mojo”, “Pahit.”
Don’t you agree ?
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ausdag Says: +0
October 30th, 2007 at 9:34 pm
LOL”¦I have a feeling our friend Achmad is a well-informed Australian with a passion for Java, …..Certainly not British or otherwise as someone had hunched. He is Australian alright, no doubt about it; a well-informed and a one-in-a-million well-learned Australian (usually Australians are stupid, I mean those of Anglo-saxon stock) who knew about the imminent rise of the Mojopahit empire and wanted to be part of that phenomenon. I truly hope he will be rewarded with a ministerial position in our new government. I urge all Australians with brain to follow in his footstep; afterall Australia will be a vassal state in the not-too-long future.
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Friend,
I am no more, no less, than a simple poet ukuele player, pencak silat teacher, cabaret and dangdut singer from Purbalingga.
My mission is twofold: to take on the tough issues and to tell, simply, the truth.
I thank you friend. Informed sources say there may be more UFOs over Java this weekend.
Merdeka !
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Brother,
Certainly it was not informed ‘hearsay’ sources that gave you away. Rather it was your detailed understanding of the Australian bureaucracy in another posting, together with your insightful knowledge of the wussy Oz rugby skull bangers. I couldn’t agree more with the latter but have to point out that the ADF personnel are just as pansy.
Anyway, we Javanese, Indian and the Chinese shared the view that one day, Australia will be returned peacefully to its rightful landowner; Sri Lanka to India; and Taiwan to China. If I am not mistaken, Pak Rudd is helping SBY set up DP (Democrat Party) in Australia. It could either be stand-alone or a new Alliance party. Probably in less than a decade, Australian will have the priviledge to vote for a Javanese president.
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Dear Pak Aluang,
Agree on para # 1, disagree on para # 2.
Glad to see I have allies and supporters, including the Prime Minister of Australia and yourself.
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Adrian Vickers said
…and am very interested in Majapahit
Welcome aboard.
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Anyone here interested in doing a story on Sumatran empires and my cannibal ancestors?
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If all cannibals look like you I will become one.
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Dear mbak Marisa,
I can’t think of any past (or present) Sumatran empire as great as Jovo’s Mojopahit. Sri Vijaya pales in comparison to the great Mojopahit. Just as China had Confucius and the Great Wall, India Buddha and Taj Mahal, the Javanese had Prophet Joyoboyo and Borobudur. If I am not mistaken, the Sumatran’s Riau inhabitants were the one to help the colonial warlords subdue the Javanese. Maybe they were the smart one as minority melayu speakers were put in power in Indonesia, Malaysia and Brunei. But Javanese was always known to be intelligent, rebellious and persistent. We will work our way around it. Anyway, it was history and all were forgiven.
The tide had now change. Our emergence was even felt in the south, and the newly elected Pak Rudd even promised to make Queensland the financial hub for the Asian region. Once Australia is returned to us, we will be the world’s largest empire. Our president will soon be standing tall with the rest of the world’s superpower.
Regards.
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Sputjam,
Thanks for the comments on Sepak Takraw. That’s interesting. You don’t think it’s a dynamic sport ? I always thought it was kind of fun and exciting.
It’s an interesting point about the land bridge. The Papuans still have myths and legends about “great snakes” over which people “walked to the southern land.”
But more generally, could you keep the comments focused on systematically insulting Australians and Bules in general ?
Thanks.