Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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Nay says:
I don’t really want to get tied down again, but if A or especially ‘B’ , proves to be the real deal, i could think of worse fates for a guy.
I just wouldn’t promise *any woman* exclusivity and monogamy, and you’re golden.
Then you can see both of them, and even more women, on your terms without “cheating” on anyone.( ‘B’ won’t let me have ‘it until I dump ‘A’).
…I think “B” can go take a running jump.
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NordicGuy says:
@Bad 2 The Bone,
Neither. Run away. Now.
Never involved with Indo girls. A lot of western guy really have no idea what kind of creature they are dealing with….. don’t think with your crotch please ! be rational and clear headed.
Remember the constant drama, lies, deception, that you will endure in the future….
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Bad to the Bone says:
@ nay
i understand where you’re coming from–you’ve tried monagamy, been thru the mill with that — not for you. i can’t disagree with most of what your veiwpoint on women is on the last 3 or 4 pages. many guys who have been through the mill feel or think the same towards monagamy.
will i play the same game with B? i’m on a promise, if she reneges & pulls back, i’ll most probably dump her quick & move on, & play the same game as you, which i was doing before i met A.
I’m bored with A & her/our game, it’s time to knock it on the head. if something can be salvaged, great. if not, so be it.
if it was just for shagging, like you say, i’d go to Pataya & live it up there. But i want a bit more than that. i think an indonesian woman can do that for me. i love their company & they love mine, time will tell & i’m not in a hurry. -
i think/know you guys are right with the advice to run, this shit has been going on to long, it was fun in ways, but yor right-enuff is enuff. pattaya here i come.
ya try to help em & & do it right & they fu-k you over good. time to change the ph sim card.
Fu-k Bali ! passed the time tho . no regrets here.time 2 think with my crotch again, & look up air fares to Thailand or Vietnam. lol
my time in Bali was part heart & part crotch. i enjoyed both parts of it.
the heart is now on ice. -
ya try to help em & & do it right & they fu-k you over good. time to change the ph sim card.
Well, your “A” girl has a history of ditching husbands, finding boyfriends. Plus she has somebody else’s kid in tow. She’ll be OK as long as you can maintain your independence. You stick to your guns with that as long as you can, and if one day she decides to stir the pot and give you an ultimatum to “upgrade” to married life, then you take the hit and let her go. If she’s smart, she’ll just play it cool and you may be able to be friends and help her out here and there without her having to force you over the barrel.
To all the unhappy dudes that posted their tales of woe in this thread…. what do you think this woman’s motivations are? She has kids to look after, and no male support? If you were in her situation what would you do? Would you settle for a man who is a good friend, or would you try and make him “fall in love”, and put him in a position where he’s going to “make it rain” for you and your children?
Anyway… you can’t blame the women for being women. They do what they do and you have to man up and accept it. Take the good and reject the bad.
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ET says:
Why does this dating game for men so often have to end in misery? It won’t if you keep in mind that in the game of love, as long as you hold on to your wits and don’t become a p*ssy-slave, the odds are in your favor because being a man you have certain advantages and are free from the physical ‘inconveniences’ of womanhood. A man comes and goes as he pleases and is less dependent on physical comfort and sanitary conditions. The problem is that he is prone to become addicted to the effects of dopamine released in the brain through sexual gratification and like a junkie becomes a slave of his hormones. There is a reason that prostitution is primarily a female occupation in which the women are dealers of the sex drug and the men have to pay, and pay, and pay…
The question you have to ask yourself is what would you choose if you were convicted to be exiled to a desert island but have the right to bring along one companion, male or female
a) a woman to live day by day by your side for whom you will first have to build a hut, dig a well, go hunting to provide food and clothing, start farming, build a house, more rooms for eventual offspring, etc. etc., always nagging and complaining because never enough, only to be rewarded with a little sex when she doesn’t have a headache;
b) a man with whom you will build a raft together and go sailing to other islands with lots of women… -
Lomboksurfer says:
@ET – have to admire your bloody thinking dude. Take the raft and find women and after knocking them up make a run to the next island and start all over. Sounds bloody great but what happen when those woman, hell has no fury like a sconed woman, organize and start beating the war drums island to island and placing notes in bloody bottles warning of your coming? Once they trap you, I think bleedin cannibals would be kinder to encounter LOL!!!
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To the casual( ignorant/unmindful ofall the facts of my situation ) observer, my relationships in Bali would be bordering on lunacy.
Many times workmates were astounded of my want & need to get to Bali & ‘my girl ‘ there (A ). One mate(a bikie, whose gal was a hooker/stripper & a lovely lass) used to get so pissed off with me going there & not to Thailand. I understood Thailand was a much better option for the sex tourist/predator. I used to say I’m on a beer budget, thailand I need a champagne budget- air fares to bali were $250- Thailand close to a $1000 or more.
The main reason though I’d return to bali time & again was because of the impact of the divorce on my emotions . Anyne who goes through this know it takes 3 or more yrs to deal with this.
Throughout this 3 yrs I have compensated & had the time of my life, loving every second I’m in bali & also working on learning my internet business, which will allow me to live in S.E. Asia. So it has been a productive positive time.
Also why I think I am so enamoured with Indo women is because I transferred the affections I had for the ex-wife to the one who I was involved with there, mainly A. I knew it was only a matter of time before I would be over the affects of the divorce & my business would take off.
Just recently I spent 2 months in Bali concentrating on the business but without success. I’d decided not to toss A until I was living there off my business, & would know after this time if she was persevering with. Turned out it felt worse than l;iving with the ex-missus.
To those who fear for my money, I get picked at the airport by, pay $200 for a months rent, & eat at the locals warung’s or she cook’s
The old boy I took over there a few months ago is going through a bitter divorce settlement , with the ‘bitch’ trying to get most of the money from the property which he’d have to sell- worth $2million. He stil has a photo of A’s niece on his ph screensaver. She tried to get him to send $50 a month to help her & 2 kids & her mum,brother & wife & their 2 babies. I know at this point most of you’s will be throwing your hands up & shouting ‘don’t do it you naïve bloody idiot ‘. I told him they would appreciate it but you’d be stuck with that for a while to come. He decided not to help.
Just a week ago A said the family had no money to buy baby milk powder. Hey but what naïve fool would send money for that? Certainly not me, I was broke after my 2 months there. Hey, but the bule gets a result, no money for the Indo needy. Fukn clever don’t ya think?
Anyway each to their own, any port in a storm. Run bule run, it won’t cost you $2milion, but it could cost an hours wages—heaven forbid!! Even though you had the time of ya life with a wonderful human being. Better than anything you’d meet in a western country. Run bule run. -
Lomboksurfer
You are right, dealing with women, where ever they are, always requires caution and psychological insight. If not, disaster looms on the horizon. That’s why we should play it smart and upon leaving for the next island we promise them that we will be back with shiploads of exotic shells and beads that cannot be found on their own little island. Dammit, we could even tell them that we are going to bring along the newest iPhones. -
Dammit, we could even tell them that we are going to bring along the newest iPhones.
Now THAT’S real pirate treasure!
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oh ah!
sign me up capn ET -
bonni says:
Bad 2 The Bone, you sound like a sex tourist…
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@Bonnie
it would of saved a bit of grief, if that little word called love had never been mentioned.
it is the better option for a guy. -
@bonnie
maybe sex tourist was what i was but didn’t know it, as i’m just realising now, i was in faithful good hubby mode for the last 3 yrs. but i want out of that now & think confirmed bachelor mode is the way to go. love is the warm & fuzzy feeling, which i thought i’d always have with the ex-wife & didn’t want or couldn’t let go of.if i mention love they mention house & kids & sepeda. better to just mention SEX.
normally i just go with the flow, but its got me into a difficult situation in Bali.
Time 2 do a runner i think.i think long distance relationships are doomed, having tried it. a guy i worked with & frequent visitor to Thailand had it sorted, he’d delete the girls ph numbers as soon as he was on the plane home. way to go, i think
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frankygth says:
what is a sextourist??
Somebody having sex (is everybody)?
Soomebody having sex in other counntry (is racist)
man? Woman ? -
weng weng says:
Badtothebone
All that ABC story just to give yourself a license to go shagging like rabbit in Pattaya ?!!
HAHAHA !!!!(555!!!! in Pattaya) what are you planning for next year? Cambodia?
Run farang run!!!! -
deta says:
Women have long recognized the “come, conquer and leave” behavior, and understood that boys will be boys, as long as they can get away with it (okay, I admit I quoted it from one of john o’farrel’s books). This is partly the reason why in a relationship women seek some kind of assurance to give them comfort, which inevitably sooner or later drags the topic of marriage into conversation.
So if marriage or any kind of string attached is definitely not your cup of tea, better be firm and honest from the beginning the way Nay did. *shaking hands* “Hi, I am Nay, I am single and I am not interested in marriage” *repeat this mantra regularly as a friendly reminder for her*. And if it is just sexual healing after a broken relationship that you’re after, don’t bother to find a so-called “girl friend”. Better find someone who can do “it” professionally, at least the term and agreement is set and nobody is hurt or injured.
Ending a long lasting relationship leaves as deep an emotional scar for a man as it does for a woman.
Just sayin. -
stevo says:
Ending a long lasting relationship leaves as deep an emotional scar for a man as it does for a woman.
If your talking about someone you love, I agree. Initially guys can handle it very badly and are prone to go into self-destruct mode. Longer term I think guys heal better and carry less emotional baggage. Women tend to be more contrived and strategic in their reactions. Guys just go with whatever they feel.
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nazim says:
i agree to be chat with indonisian girls
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indonisian girls good
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Women have long recognized the “come, conquer and leave” behavior, and understood that boys will be boys, as long as they can get away with it (okay, I admit I quoted it from one of john o’farrel’s books).
I have to call this out for being nonsense.
I’ve never met a guy who was popular with women (not all that many are), who decided that “conquering and leaving” was ever the plan. In my experience, women are more likely to leave men after a one-night stand, and that’s because it’s easier for women to find a replacement man than it is for a man to find a replacement woman.
Men who can easily find a replacement women are, in my experience, few and far between… and for those men, they generally like to collect women as girlfriends, and generally don’t tell women to get lost. If they’re on a good thing with a woman, they like to see it continue.
The exception is when she starts becoming nasty and demanding of him.
A man who has no other female options may then start doing what the woman wants (leading to marriage), and a man with options may simply just refuse and let the woman walk.…but to say that men *actively* throw women under the bus when they are done with them is misleading. Men only act that way when the woman has done something to really tick them off!
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Also to add that if a woman says to me:
“We’re not having sex because I don’t trust you and think that you are going to use me for sex, leave me with a baby, and then abandon me”
… then that clearly shows that there’s no love for me, or trust in me, or ANYTHING there to build a loving relationship on! Any chance of a relationship is already DEAD in the water!I mean, if a woman honestly felt that way about me, I’d wish her good luck followed by “Goodbye!”
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Nay you have really got this figured out.
I hope your not some pasty faced pale skinny English guy who could not score back home, but has got wise in Indonesia. Don’t tell me if you are !
Your mind set works in every place I have every been. I never play women, got no pick up lines, got no illusions about the ladies, but love them to bits. It seems to work. Not because its contrived, but because its not. Women are not stupid.
Its not about “Indonesian Girls” it is about women in general.
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I hope your not some pasty faced pale skinny English guy who could not score back home, but has got wise in Indonesia. Don’t tell me if you are !
Pale skinny english scientist/doctor…
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Please bonni do not let this be true 🙁
There is no way on earth that an Englishman can give an Indonesian girl enough lovin in the bedroom, or deal with her enchanting “moods”
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“Its not about “Indonesian Girls” it is about women in general.”…..
@stevo: that’s correct buddy. Thanx for standing with us. And for the player here who act like a “victym”…just wanna say…”Great conclusion, buddy. Have you ever take a flash back abt your self? Have you ever been good to woman? Good in what? In treating her very nice at the first met and then dump her after you got her? And so when you feel unsatisfied you just blame her. Ask your self buddy? Put your ego aside and seek ” did you treat her well?” you just want more but never give more. I’m not saying abt material things, but more than that, I guess you are smart enough to understand my words -
And for the player here who act like a “victym”
Who are you referring to? Who claimed to be a victim?
…just wanna say…”Great conclusion, buddy. Have you ever take a flash back abt your self? Have you ever been good to woman? Good in what?
Please define what you mean by “good”.Please give examples so we know what you are talking about specifically.
In treating her very nice at the first met and then dump her after you got her? And so when you feel unsatisfied you just blame her.
Which person here said that they did this?
Ask your self buddy? Put your ego aside and seek ” did you treat her well?” you just want more but never give more. I’m not saying abt material things, but more than that,
More than material things? Please define what you mean by this.
I guess you are smart enough to understand my words
I think the burden is on you to communicate clearly… not on the listener to decipher vague language.
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Hello nay, I’m sorry if my english is not good. Let me make it clear….from all the statement I read, i understand that you guyz are complaining abt girls behaviour. While we all know those things aint happend just in indonesia but all over the world. So my words were refers to all the guyz in all over the world. Including you. And abt the “victym” I meant was abt some guyz who commented here, talked bad abt girls, made himself sounds like a victym of a bad girl without realize that his behaviour might also bad.
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Women have long recognized the “come, conquer and leave” behavior, and understood that boys will be boys, as long as they can get away with it (okay, I admit I quoted it from one of john o’farrel’s books). This is partly the reason why in a relationship women seek some kind of assurance to give them comfort, which inevitably sooner or later drags the topic of marriage into conversation.
I don’t believe that the ‘come, conquer and leave’ behavior is typical – except in some adolescent show-off situations – for the male psychology, at least not initially. Most men also start out by seeking comfort and assurance in a relationship but many change their mind after having been through the mill of a break-up or divorce. Particularly in Western societies the alleged inherent ‘weakness’ and ‘vulnarability’ of women has been used in courts to their advantage and made men realize they are seriously handicapped when push come to shove. Women talk to other women and read women’s magazines and have become well aware that as soon as the ring is on their finger the odds are on their side. Most divorce cases are initiated by women and divorce settlements have become a preferred topic in feminist conscious-raising groups.
Men react to these ‘threats’ according to their own personality make-up. Many will try to find a ‘parking-relationship’ to overcome their loss, others will go on a rampant ‘come, conquer and leave’ tour, while still some others give up and pursue other interests.We are all the product of our past.
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“I could think of worse fates for a guy.”
Friend your either a bloody idiot or naive to the point where you might as well be a bleedin idiot. My advice to you is to RUN BULE RUN!!! Just in case it didn’t sink in the bloody first time, RUN BULE RUN and never look back. LOL!!!
(Note to the bloody monitor)
Hi Big Daddy Dave, how is it bloody hanging today? i know I am bloody well quoting another bloody guy from years back and wanted to give him bloody credit for the best bleedin advice ever offered on this bloody site. RUN BULE RUN!!!