Dating Indonesian Girls

Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by

Dating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.

Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.

If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.

On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.

Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.

There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.


4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”

  1. Nay says:

    bonni,

    * There’s a difference between:-
    1) If you don’t join my religion, it doesn’t matter
    2) If you don’t join my religion, you’re not getting what you want.

    * My “tukang ojek” metaphor is just what I feel like when I have to deal with some Indonesian women. I feel as if they’re trying to rip me off like some AWOL Jakarta taxi driver whose turned the meter off, or some street vendor charging me “bule” prices.

    It doesn’t encourage much mutual respect, and makes me a little more determined to try and screw the scammer out of what they want.

  2. bonni says:

    Nay,

    Hahahaha alright alright… But so far, are all of them -not so friendly- ‘tukang ojeks’ or ‘jakarta taxi drivers’?

  3. weng weng says:

    As far as I know a lot of Indonesian muslim forget the spiritual side of islam to focus on a strict ,obsessive observance of rituals…such a way of following a religion is simply not suitable for someone who has been educated to question the reasons and benefits of what they are taught.
    Maybe if I had been introduced to islam from a more intelectual point of view maybe (probably not cause I don’t feel like turning my back on the culture which made me the person I am but ok maybe) I could have been considering it but if each time you ask WHY? the only answer you get is something like”because that’s the way it is” Sorry but I don’t buy that… Beeing obsessed by rituals coupled with ignorance leads to things like what happened two days ago in Madura.

  4. Nay says:

    Hahahaha alright alright… But so far, are all of them -not so friendly- ‘tukang ojeks’ or ‘jakarta taxi drivers’?

    No not all, of course. That would be a grand generalization.

    The problem is most women are friendly, but it’s the motives that I need to figure out quickly. Why are they happy to see me and smiling and wanting to see me?

    If I tell them that I’m not interested in marriage, are they still happy, smiling, and talking to me? If not, then I caught them out!

    It’s never a good idea for a man of means to hook up with a girl who has NOTHING to lose and everything to gain from dealing with me.

  5. Lomboksurfer says:

    @Nay – is that because your a bloody whiny cheap skate? Sort of a Bloody Dutch Date type, eh mate?

  6. shawty says:

    to all men that recently posted quite sad story
    where to find guys like you all?
    that able to ‘seems’ love their ladies that deep eventhou ended up dissapointed
    I seems never can’t find one
    *sight

    probably I am too curvy to be lucky
    not that 40 something kg..almost 50
    probably too educated
    oh probably too hard to please as not many thing impress me these days

    *sight
    I really need advise from you bule men in indo…

    how to have long relationship with good bule in indo
    I lived overseas before and it still didnt help me much *sight

    will appreciate any advise from men perspective (not ladies) sorry

  7. bonni says:

    Nay,

    I think sometimes you think too far about stuff, that’s what scares the girls. For example this:

    If I tell them that I’m not interested in marriage, are they still happy, smiling, and talking to me? If not, then I caught them out!

    If I was the girl you dated, I’ll be all “what the hell he’s talking about marriage”. I might be smiling but cynically, still talking to you but I will certainly lose my interest. What about “just go with it”? Just see her as normal couple, not talking about marriage and stuff. But if she asks that first, maybe she wants marriage soon. And what is wrong with that? It’s her choice. Or maybe she doesn’t want marriage at all. It depends on you. You don’t want that, then stop seeing her. Easy. Some women have nothing to lose but of course you always want something from a relationship, and it’s always based on an ‘agreement’ between the couple. The key is communication.

    Lomboksurfer,

    Nay is not a cheap skate. But considering he said…

    Commitments cost TIME and MONEY for a man… and more importantly, TIME IS MONEY.

    Now I don’t know. Hahahaha 😛

  8. Nay says:

    is that because your a bloody whiny cheap skate? Sort of a Bloody Dutch Date type, eh mate?

    You’re assuming that women have to be bought and paid for, like prostitutes.
    If that was the way to go, I’d suggest going to Pattaya Thailand and forgetting about lasting love and relationships, and I wouldn’t bother typing up a load of wank here.

    There’s no reason to resort to prostitution when women are naturally inclined to want sex and romance. As for “time vs money”… I’m not going to waste my time on women who, for whatever reason, don’t want the same from me.

    Just see her as normal couple, not talking about marriage and stuff. But if she asks that first, maybe she wants marriage soon. And what is wrong with that? It’s her choice.

    Yes, *of course* women have a choice… and if she doesn’t like me for whatever reason or see things my way, I respect that decision. She also has to respect that I may not want to see her any more because of that decision.

    I just don’t have time for girls like that when there are others who ARE ok with how I see things…. so I don’t get upset when one girl says “no”. I just go and meet other women.

    The problem beings when they start getting on my nerves after having rejected them based on their own criteria… they simply can’t handle the rejection. Some women want to have their cake and eat it too. They want my attention without being the kind of woman I want to be with, and that’s where I have to shut them down about their plans for me as future husband.

  9. Lomboksurfer says:

    Well Bloody Ney, if as you say, “It’s never a good idea for a man of means to hook up with a girl who has nothing to lose and everything to gain from dealing with me”. Is that because you think that a bloody poor girl is really not worth anything to you or doesn’t have the character of a bleedin rich girl ? My bloody question is, why do you bloody well want to date poor girls in the first place, if you don’t have any respect of bloody use for them? I am just being bloody nosy dude and nothing personal?

  10. Nay says:

    My bloody question is, why do you bloody well want to date poor girls in the first place, if you don’t have any respect of bloody use for them?

    I’m pretty sure I didn’t say that, but it seems you have that impression.

    I give everyone equal opportunity, but I tend to gravitate towards intelligent, educated, independently minded women.

  11. Lomboksurfer says:

    Bloody hell, I fell in bleedin love once with a young woman from Jakarta. She was bloody awesome, independent, opinionated, tough as nails, gifted, sweet and even a hard drinking brawler if the mood suited her. She came from nothing as she was an orphan when she arrived here , in Jakarta,from some bloody jungle kampung in North Sumatra. She did every bloody job imaginable to get to where she is today. Hard work was her bloody middle name. She was a bloody waitress, presenter ojek driver, blue bird taxi dispatcher, maid, bar girl and traditional massage girl in a bleedin 5 star hotel. She saved her bloody money and got educated at the bloody London School of Public Relations Jakarta. I met her when she worked Stadium in North Jakarta. She was the most beautiful bloody free brown sugar baby you could have imagined. And you know bloody what? She was the most loyal bloody woman I ever had. Where I went she was there by my side and every bleedin surf bum who tried to hit on her soon realized she was my bloody woman and not for bloody sale to no wanker lawyer or bleedin doctor. She eventually got a job as a bloody journalist in Southeast Asia and we travelled together all over and surfing every bloody beach we could. Oh and we bloody well enjoyed eating tubs of ice cream together and washing it down with Dos Equis beer and Heinekens. We bloody well watched MTV and VH1 all night long between our nightly ultra bloody love making marathons. It was the most exciting bloody time of my life and she was the bloody girl. Even my mum, who absolutely found fault in every bloody girl I ever took home, loved her. She even cut her own bloody hair after I bloody well complained about all the time it took in the bleedin salon. Who bloody well does that? Anyway, of course, I bloody well blew the relationship as it was only a matter of time before my bloody self destructive side kicked in. She wanted to get married and become a bloody honest woman with kids and you know that just bloody kryptonite for a bleedin surf bum like me. Hope she is bloody well happy wherever she is cause I really bloody well love her.

  12. nur says:

    ‘I bloody well blew the relationship as it was only a matter of time before my bloody self destructive side kicked in. She wanted to get married and become a bloody honest woman with kids and you know that just bloody kryptonite for a bleedin surf bum like me’

    Well, that’s what happened to me recently, so I say to him to set me free not because I don’t love him anymore but I just really want him to be my legit significant other and father of my offspring which he refused to trade for his freedom and his work, I hope he’s well

  13. bonni says:

    Nur and lomboksurfer… Wait a minute were you two?

  14. Bad 2 ze Bone says:

    @ bonni

    Nur and lomboksurfer… Wait a minute were you two?

    isn’t that so romantic bonni– brings a tear to my glass eye.
    ( 2 lovers who had it all but can’t be together )
    bit like my java ‘snake ‘ & me at the mo.

  15. lomboksurfer says:

    @ Bonni – if you would have bloody looked more closely nur said “…he refused to trade his freedom and his work… ”

    First, dear Bonni, I have only bloody eyes for you and second unless you define work as hanging 5 off the board at the bloody Bonzai pipeline then I am not the bloody man. Third reason! and the most bleedin curious one at that, is the guy she is referring to is as bloody boy crazy as you!

    Now that we bloody clarified all this bleedin nonsense when will you be calling me Bonni to get some bloody fresh surf boy served up to you on a silver plater? And bloody yes what you heard is true, as I bloody well deliver anywhere and anytime, for a brown sugar baby snack attack like you 😀

  16. Nay says:

    Anyway, of course, I bloody well blew the relationship as it was only a matter of time before my bloody self destructive side kicked in. She wanted to get married and become a bloody honest woman with kids and you know that just bloody kryptonite for a bleedin surf bum like me. Hope she is bloody well happy wherever she is cause I really bloody well love her.

    Story of my life.

    I wouldn’t call that destructive on your side…. but yes I’ve been in the same situation too many times to mention.

    It never ceases to amaze me that *somehow* the lady supposedly loves me “just as I am” ™, and then decides that she wants to attempt to try to change me into somebody I’m not to suit her personal little agenda. Then she expects that I’m going to be happy about it. Then she gets upset and throw me under the bus for being who I am!

    …but she said she loved me?

    ha ha…. anyway I know why this happens on a microscopic level… I’ve already explained it.

    Women can’t help but to follow the same predictable but destructive pattern.
    A woman wants a man she cannot tame for sex, and then a man she CAN tame to raise the child and look after her. Those two things cannot be found in the same man. It’s either one or the other.

    [quote]
    so I say to him to set me free not because I don’t love him anymore but I just really want him to be my legit significant other and father of my offspring which he refused to trade for his freedom and his work[/quote]

    Well you shot yourself in the foot there.
    Let me make a long-winded explanation….

    Personally, I’m not going to pledge allegiance to a woman just because we had sex. If I did that, I’d cop the criticism of “using her for sex”… and women keep saying “Well you shouldn’t base a relationship on sex!”… and they’re right. Sex is the DEFAULT. Without it, you don’t even get your foot in the door of a relationship!… but it does NOT make a relationship!

    I am going somewhere with this… hang on…

    So….. given that sex is the default and that I can get it like a commodity anyway,…. a woman has to prove to me that she’s better than all the other women I’ve met IF she wants to claim that relationship.
    She needs to be capable, loyal, trustworthy, and respectable… and do things like look after herself, look after me too, do things for me, do the washing ironing, cleaning… you know… add some value to the relationship beyond sex (which as I said, is the default, I can get that anywhere… and I could even go see hookers if I really wanted to)

    So this guy you flipped off is probably thinking to himself “Why don’t I find a more capable woman, who DOESN’T NEED me to sacrifice my freedom and happiness to look after her, because she’s capable and independent, and can look after herself? If I’m happy with the amount of freedom I have, I’ll be happy and WANT to look after her! She won’t have to force me, and she wouldn’t need to force me because she is capable. Unfortunately this woman in clearly INCAPABLE of doing anything for herself, and wants to try to *force* me to look after her by taking away my freedom. That really sucks! In fact, I’m not even upset that she dumped me. I’m glad that she did!”

    …and so it goes.

  17. bonni says:

    Lomboksurfer,

    First, I never really understand things you’re saying. Secondly, I called you already but then I went through a tunnel so bzzzz… 😛 Thirdly, what do you really want in life then? What do you expect from a woman? Or should I say brown sugar snack attack LMAO

    Nay,

    No offends but your theories somehow answer why you’re single 😛

  18. bonni says:

    Lomboksurfer,

    Woops I mean, “brown sugar baby snack attack” LOL

  19. lomboksurfer says:

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Thanks Bonni, I fancied that bloody line as well. Maybe your so sweet from eating all that bloody Magnum ice cream that you like so much?

  20. lomboksurfer says:

    Dedicated to Bonni, the bloody love of my life….Aku cintamu selalu

    Harry Chapman’s ridiculously great “Taxi”

    It was raining hard in ‘Frisco,
    I needed one more fare to make my night.
    A lady up ahead waved to flag me down,
    She got in at the light.
    Oh, where you going to, my lady blue,
    It’s a shame you ruined your gown in the rain.
    She just looked out the window, and said
    “Sixteen Parkside Lane”.

    Something about her was familiar
    I could swear I’d seen her face before,
    But she said, “I’m sure you’re mistaken”
    And she didn’t say anything more.

    It took a while, but she looked in the mirror,
    And she glanced at the license for my name.
    A smile seemed to come to her slowly,
    It was a sad smile, just the same.
    And she said, “How are you Harry?”
    I said, “How are you Sue?
    Through the too many miles
    And the too little smiles
    I still remember you.”

    It was somewhere in a fairy tale,
    I used to take her home in my car.
    We learned about love in the back of the Dodge,
    The lesson hadn’t gone too far.
    You see, she was gonna be an actress,
    And I was gonna learn to fly.
    She took off to find the footlights,
    And I took off to find the sky.
    [ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/h/harry_chapin/taxi.html ]
    Oh, I’ve got something inside me,
    To drive a princess blind.
    There’s a wild man, wizard,
    He’s hiding in me, illuminating my mind.
    Oh, I’ve got something inside me,
    Not what my life’s about,
    Cause I’ve been letting my outside tide me,
    Over ’till my time, runs out.

    Baby’s so high that she’s skying,
    Yes she’s flying, afraid to fall.
    I’ll tell you why baby’s crying,
    Cause she’s dying, aren’t we all.

    There was not much more for us to talk about,
    Whatever we had once was gone.
    So I turned my cab into the driveway,
    Past the gate and the fine trimmed lawns.
    And she said we must get together,
    But I knew it’d never be arranged.
    And she handed me twenty dollars,
    For a two fifty fare, she said
    “Harry, keep the change.”
    Well another man might have been angry,
    And another man might have been hurt,
    But another man never would have let her go…
    I stashed the bill in my shirt.

    And she walked away in silence,
    It’s strange, how you never know,
    But we’d both gotten what we’d asked for,
    Such a long, long time ago.

    You see, she was gonna be an actress
    And I was gonna learn to fly.
    She took off to find the footlights,
    And I took off for the sky.
    And here, she’s acting happy,
    Inside her handsome home.
    And me, I’m flying in my taxi,
    Taking tips, and getting stoned,
    I go flying so high, when I’m stoned.

  21. bonni says:

    Thanks lomboksurfer! 😛

  22. Nay says:

    No offends but your theories somehow answer why you’re single

    Everybody’s “single” bonnie…. it’s just that for some people the illusion of “together forever” makes them somehow feel less lonely….

  23. nur says:

    Thanks nay I really apptreciate your raw honesty, its bring me a new perspective

    I wouldn’t call that destructive on your side…. but yes I’ve been in the same situation too many times to mention.

    Nay, I really appreciate your honesty if any man want to say all the things you said in the early stage of relationship it will safe each one time, energy, money and feeling to find their significant other whose willing to spend their rest of my life in a holy matrimony

    Women can’t help but to follow the same predictable but destructive pattern.
    A woman wants a man she cannot tame for sex, and then a man she CAN tame to raise the child and look after her. Those two things cannot be found in the same man. It’s either one or the other.

    Really nay? I didn’t see it that way, don’t you think you could hurt your fraternity if you said this? I thought a man is superior and capable of anything (like my father), but if it so, which one are you?

    She needs to be capable, loyal, trustworthy, and respectable… and do things like look after herself, look after me too, do things for me, do the washing ironing, cleaning… you know… add some value to the relationship beyond sex (which as I said, is the default, I can get that anywhere… and I could even go see hookers if I really wanted to)

    Wow, look at you isn’t that yourself who think that a woman can only be a sex material or a W(washing) I(ironing) F(f#%king) E(etc) material?
    Look at our mother, she could be anything both and I adore her for that

    Unfortunately this woman is clearly INCAPABLE of doing anything for herself, and wants to try to *force* me to look after her by taking away my freedom. That really sucks! In fact, I’m not even upset that she dumped me. I’m glad that she did!

    Because I’m capable and independent that’s why when he said no, I don’t mind at all, I don’t wanna force anybody even tho I do love him and hurt us so bad (he cried and broken hearted). I thought we’ve had enough to go to the next level but sadly it didn’t work

  24. Nay says:

    Nay, I really appreciate your honesty if any man want to say all the things you said in the early stage of relationship it will safe each one time, energy, money and feeling to find their significant other whose willing to spend their rest of my life in a holy matrimony

    I agree with that. A lot of men promise that they’ll be the love of your life, when really they are only interested in a quick fling. I think it’s wrong to mislead someone like that.
    Women want men to be honest, so I try to answer honestly as best I can without deliberately trying to hurt anyone. It is actually quite hard because most women don’t like to hear what I really think — but then, if they are going to like me for who I am, I have to be honest about what I feel.

    … so maybe I make some girls upset… but then girls like that wouldn’t like me for who I am anyway… so I haven’t really lost anything.

    Really nay? I didn’t see it that way, don’t you think you could hurt your fraternity if you said this?

    I don’t understand what you mean.

    I thought a man is superior and capable of anything (like my father), but if it so, which one are you?

    The problem is not that I don’t want to help women. The problem is that as soon as I sacrifice my lifestyle to do so, she loses all respect for me.

    On a subconscious and primal level, women only feel attraction for men who many women love, and who aren’t tied down. Once a woman has managed to convince such a man to love and care for only them… she slowly loses respect for him. Then the relationship is in trouble.

    This happens all on a subconscious level that women are simply not consciously aware of… but I have seen it, and experienced it for myself so many times that to me it is truth.

    Unfortunately, the respect for men only happens once the man is tested. On many occasions I have had girlfriends say and do some disrespectful things to me for no apparent reason. When I dumped them, and ignored their repeated pleas to “get back together” did they say that they respected me. I had to ask “Why didn’t you respect me in the beginning?”.

    The only way I can maintain a woman’s respect is to look after myself as #1, and if I have energy to spare I will share my time with her. All on my terms.

    Wow, look at you isn’t that yourself who think that a woman can only be a sex material or a W(washing) I(ironing) F(f#%king) E(etc) material?
    Look at our mother, she could be anything both and I adore her for that

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t society suggest that all that is what wives are SUPPOSED to do?

    If you think that attitude is sexist… you’re right.

    I respect women too much to “buy a wife”.
    It is another reason as to why I’m not married. 😉

    Because I’m capable and independent that’s why when he said no, I don’t mind at all, I don’t wanna force anybody even tho I do love him and hurt us so bad (he cried and broken hearted). I thought we’ve had enough to go to the next level but sadly it didn’t work

    If you were really capable and independant, you wouldn’t need to take a man to “the next level”. You could just get pregnant and raise his child — IF you really wanted a child, and maybe if he really wanted to have one too.

    The problem is that you tried to “upgrade” him. He was having a nice relationship with you until you decided that you wanted something else that he wasn’t prepared to give, and you changed the “terms and conditions” on him.

    What if you bought something from a shop, and some months later the shop that sold it to you managed to get into your house and take it back off you. Then they send you a note saying “You won’t get it back until you give us more money!”.
    Quite righteously, you’d be angry… It’s not what you agreed to!
    More than likely, you won’t shop there again. You might even say “Keep the damn thing! You’re trying to rip me off!”

    …. what you are doing to the man no different.

    Perhaps you should do what I do and be more assertive about what you want from the beginning and find someone who wants the same? Maybe you were scared just to say “I’m looking for a daddy for my baby” or “I’m looking for a husband” before you even decided on a relationship with that man?

    Seems counter-intuitive I know, and it will scare off a lot of men…. but in the long run I think you’ll find that being honest about what you want will get you what you want. You don’t need the men who you scare off anyway, because…. guess what? They weren’t interested in your “next level” anyway!

    You need to value your time, not waste it on dead-end prospects.

  25. lomboksurfer says:

    Bonni said “Thank you Lomboksufer”. This was after I declared my bloody love for her and dedicated taxi. This means we are bloody well back on! Hoot! Hoot! Hoot!

    See you in bloody Lomback cintaku and please no more brawling with the Aussie cow gfs of that bleedin wanker you brought to my bloody island or you will be hanging 10 off the bleedin plank on my sail boat after I chummed the waters with his bloody intestines! Think I am a little bit jealous? Damn right I bloody am as I would have paid 200 bloody quid to watched you get popped in that bloody jaw of your’s just to shut you up. That said, I do bloody well worship the ground you walk upon. LOL!

  26. yo says:

    Nay you got trust issues, your over thinking it. Many marriages make it, don’t focus on the ones that don’t. The way i think about it is, personalities make relationships not all women are the same. There is good women there is bad women you just have to know how to choose them. The way i look at it is, i want to find my best friend partner with the same values as me, its not hard just got to know how.

  27. nur says:

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t society suggest that all that is what wives are SUPPOSED to do?

    I think you’re right if you live in a conservative society and what society suggest for a husband supposed to do?

    If you were really capable and independant, you wouldn’t need to take a man to “the next level”. You could just get pregnant and raise his child — IF you really wanted a child, and maybe if he really wanted to have one too.

    I am a capable and independent yet responsible being who don’t want to be a selfish when it comes to my future offspring, how could I let to bring them up as society call ‘anak haram’ or children out of wedlock or any bad names and will be bullied and look down by society till the rest of their life? I don’t have the heart to do that to the apple of my eyes to sacrifice their future just to have my own happiness

    Perhaps you should do what I do and be more assertive about what you want from the beginning and find someone who wants the same? Maybe you were scared just to say “I’m looking for a daddy for my baby” or “I’m looking for a husband” before you even decided on a relationship with that man?

    Nay, honesty is the best policy that’s what I believe, I always let the man knows from the start what I want, and I don’t want to be mean or heartless but I’ve lost count of how many serious wedding proposal that I have to turned down because I respect married life too much to be bought as a wife or society status symbol or anything but to find the one who I really love to spend the rest of my life with,
    It is the reason as to why I’m not married yet

    I wish I can choose who I’ll be fall in love with but a can’t fool my heart

  28. Nay says:

    Nay you got trust issues, your over thinking it. Many marriages make it, don’t focus on the ones that don’t.

    The ones that “make it” that I’ve personally witnessed, involve two people who absolutely hate each other, but stick together because they’re too scared to meet new people, or they’re scared to divorce because they’re going to lose everything in a settlement.
    I wouldn’t call that “happily married”.

    I wouldn’t call it overthinking either. Some people don’t really think at all.
    They jump into marriage and think that divorce or long-term unhappiness is “never going to happen to them” ™, because they can “make it work” ™, and because the woman they are with is “not like all the others” ™

    It’s pure arrogance and hubris.

    Every man has a huge macho ego to make him think that when he gets married, he can make it work because he’s superman.
    If that were true, all marriages would be happy. In fact, people would just pair-bond for life and we wouldn’t need to celebrate “marriage” because it would be something completely NORMAL and not particularly special!

    The way i think about it is, personalities make relationships not all women are the same. There is good women there is bad women you just have to know how to choose them.

    Sure… not all women are the same, but to categorize them as “good” and “bad” is too simplistic. I don’t believe in good and bad women. I just see “women”… and women do things that women do. It’s neither good nor bad. It just IS.
    I respect women enough to be women, and I expect women to behave like women!
    That way I’m never disappointed, and nor do I feel that I have to fight with them when they don’t behave the way that I’d necessarily like.

    The way i look at it is, i want to find my best friend partner with the same values as me, its not hard just got to know how.

    No offence, but for someone who is clearly promoting marriage, I’d expect you to be married yourself. Otherwise you have something of a credibility problem.

    I’ve lived with women long enough in monogamous relationships to never want to do it again. That’s my position. I’m just much happier having a string of girlfriends.

    how could I let to bring them up as society call ‘anak haram’ or children out of wedlock or any bad names and will be bullied and look down by society till the rest of their life? I don’t have the heart to do that to the apple of my eyes to sacrifice their future just to have my own happiness

    I think it really depends on whether you live to make yourself happy, or suffer to make “society” happy. A society that doesn’t really care about your happiness anyway.

    Let me just say that by making yourself unhappy to make society happy, then you just have to ACCEPT the poor results you are getting. You will possibly *never* learn to love yourself while you suffer for no reason, and you need to love yourself if you are to be seen as an attractive person.

  29. Bad 2 The Bone says:

    I’d like 2 relate my latest ‘love’ of my life’ affair, for all those who ( can ) relate to the fast paced ‘Days of our Lives’ goings on in Indonesia / Bali/ S.E. Asia.
    A quick summary of prior goings on;
    3 yrs ago, met a vivacious/lovely/ petite early 30’s gal, full of the love of life – everything a guy would wish for in a female & thought she can take my mind & emotions off the now ex-wife & divorce, & I was willing to see where this take’s me. So I jumped into it whole heartedly –lol-( her & the relationship).
    After a sex starved,20 yr marriage to a lovely ( semi- frigid ) person who didn’t get it (what a man wants), this was a breath of fresh air.
    I knew she had baggage, but who doesn’t? I soon found out she had a hubby & kids in Java & was shacked up with a boyfiend who didn’t initially know of me.
    She left the boyfriend & would divorce the hubby when I was able to live permanently in Indonesia, she said. Maybe, I thought, we’ll see when the time comes.
    Anyway, a couple of weeks ago when she went back to Java to be with the kids & hubby for 10 days, I met a really hot, super sexy 30 yr old, we had a ball. She took me to a ‘discotek’ one night where only the locals go. I was the only ‘bule’ in the place, with the hottest bird in the place & she was all over me.
    ‘A’ had returned from Java & I’d told her I was going out for a few hours to meet a mate from home. When I got back at 5am, she hit the freaking roof, having not slept all night. I would make an excuse & go to ‘B’s” house to meet her every day.
    When I had to leave Bali a few days later I was in 2 minds as to who it was I wanted to be with.
    ‘A’ who by now loved me to bits, as seedy & stressful as the past was. Or ‘B’ , the deserted wife ( & now widow ),whose hubby ran off a yr prior, leaving her with 3 kids (he died unexpectedly, a day or 2 before i left Bali.
    Anyway I’ve decided on a solution to the problem, I’ll not dump ‘A’, but string her along until ‘B’ proves she is who she portrays herself to be. How/why would I dump A who is the most sexually aggressive person I’ve known (& I’ve known a few who love a gang bang), for someone who is yet unknown, though the signs are very promising. ( ‘B’ won’t let me have ‘it until I dump ‘A’).
    My experience of Indonesian women, though not necessarily typical of the average Indo gal, makes me cautious & will tread carefully, guilty until proven innocent.
    I love the femininity of Indo women & their smarts,with a touch of naiveté which to me is highly sexual & something rarely found in other cultures i’ve experienced, except maybe at an early age.
    I don’t really want to get tied down again, but if A or especially ‘B’ , proves to be the real deal, i could think of worse fates for a guy.

  30. frankygth says:

    yea, the topic is ‘dating indonesian
    girls’ after alll 🙂
    thought it was changed in ‘dr. nay’s……….’

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