Dating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
As far as I know a lot of Indonesian muslim forget the spiritual side of islam to focus on a strict ,obsessive observance of rituals…such a way of following a religion is simply not suitable for someone who has been educated to question the reasons and benefits of what they are taught.
Maybe if I had been introduced to islam from a more intelectual point of view maybe (probably not cause I don’t feel like turning my back on the culture which made me the person I am but ok maybe) I could have been considering it but if each time you ask WHY? the only answer you get is something like”because that’s the way it is” Sorry but I don’t buy that… Beeing obsessed by rituals coupled with ignorance leads to things like what happened two days ago in Madura.
@Nay – is that because your a bloody whiny cheap skate? Sort of a Bloody Dutch Date type, eh mate?
to all men that recently posted quite sad story
where to find guys like you all?
that able to ‘seems’ love their ladies that deep eventhou ended up dissapointed
I seems never can’t find one
*sight
probably I am too curvy to be lucky
not that 40 something kg..almost 50
probably too educated
oh probably too hard to please as not many thing impress me these days
*sight
I really need advise from you bule men in indo…
how to have long relationship with good bule in indo
I lived overseas before and it still didnt help me much *sight
will appreciate any advise from men perspective (not ladies) sorry
Well Bloody Ney, if as you say, “It’s never a good idea for a man of means to hook up with a girl who has nothing to lose and everything to gain from dealing with me”. Is that because you think that a bloody poor girl is really not worth anything to you or doesn’t have the character of a bleedin rich girl ? My bloody question is, why do you bloody well want to date poor girls in the first place, if you don’t have any respect of bloody use for them? I am just being bloody nosy dude and nothing personal?
Bloody hell, I fell in bleedin love once with a young woman from Jakarta. She was bloody awesome, independent, opinionated, tough as nails, gifted, sweet and even a hard drinking brawler if the mood suited her. She came from nothing as she was an orphan when she arrived here , in Jakarta,from some bloody jungle kampung in North Sumatra. She did every bloody job imaginable to get to where she is today. Hard work was her bloody middle name. She was a bloody waitress, presenter ojek driver, blue bird taxi dispatcher, maid, bar girl and traditional massage girl in a bleedin 5 star hotel. She saved her bloody money and got educated at the bloody London School of Public Relations Jakarta. I met her when she worked Stadium in North Jakarta. She was the most beautiful bloody free brown sugar baby you could have imagined. And you know bloody what? She was the most loyal bloody woman I ever had. Where I went she was there by my side and every bleedin surf bum who tried to hit on her soon realized she was my bloody woman and not for bloody sale to no wanker lawyer or bleedin doctor. She eventually got a job as a bloody journalist in Southeast Asia and we travelled together all over and surfing every bloody beach we could. Oh and we bloody well enjoyed eating tubs of ice cream together and washing it down with Dos Equis beer and Heinekens. We bloody well watched MTV and VH1 all night long between our nightly ultra bloody love making marathons. It was the most exciting bloody time of my life and she was the bloody girl. Even my mum, who absolutely found fault in every bloody girl I ever took home, loved her. She even cut her own bloody hair after I bloody well complained about all the time it took in the bleedin salon. Who bloody well does that? Anyway, of course, I bloody well blew the relationship as it was only a matter of time before my bloody self destructive side kicked in. She wanted to get married and become a bloody honest woman with kids and you know that just bloody kryptonite for a bleedin surf bum like me. Hope she is bloody well happy wherever she is cause I really bloody well love her.
‘I bloody well blew the relationship as it was only a matter of time before my bloody self destructive side kicked in. She wanted to get married and become a bloody honest woman with kids and you know that just bloody kryptonite for a bleedin surf bum like me’
Well, that’s what happened to me recently, so I say to him to set me free not because I don’t love him anymore but I just really want him to be my legit significant other and father of my offspring which he refused to trade for his freedom and his work, I hope he’s well
@ bonni
Nur and lomboksurfer… Wait a minute were you two?
isn’t that so romantic bonni– brings a tear to my glass eye.
( 2 lovers who had it all but can’t be together )
bit like my java ‘snake ‘ & me at the mo.
@ Bonni – if you would have bloody looked more closely nur said “…he refused to trade his freedom and his work… ”
First, dear Bonni, I have only bloody eyes for you and second unless you define work as hanging 5 off the board at the bloody Bonzai pipeline then I am not the bloody man. Third reason! and the most bleedin curious one at that, is the guy she is referring to is as bloody boy crazy as you!
Now that we bloody clarified all this bleedin nonsense when will you be calling me Bonni to get some bloody fresh surf boy served up to you on a silver plater? And bloody yes what you heard is true, as I bloody well deliver anywhere and anytime, for a brown sugar baby snack attack like you 😀
Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Thanks Bonni, I fancied that bloody line as well. Maybe your so sweet from eating all that bloody Magnum ice cream that you like so much?
Dedicated to Bonni, the bloody love of my life….Aku cintamu selalu
Harry Chapman’s ridiculously great “Taxi”
It was raining hard in ‘Frisco,
I needed one more fare to make my night.
A lady up ahead waved to flag me down,
She got in at the light.
Oh, where you going to, my lady blue,
It’s a shame you ruined your gown in the rain.
She just looked out the window, and said
“Sixteen Parkside Lane”.
Something about her was familiar
I could swear I’d seen her face before,
But she said, “I’m sure you’re mistaken”
And she didn’t say anything more.
It took a while, but she looked in the mirror,
And she glanced at the license for my name.
A smile seemed to come to her slowly,
It was a sad smile, just the same.
And she said, “How are you Harry?”
I said, “How are you Sue?
Through the too many miles
And the too little smiles
I still remember you.”
It was somewhere in a fairy tale,
I used to take her home in my car.
We learned about love in the back of the Dodge,
The lesson hadn’t gone too far.
You see, she was gonna be an actress,
And I was gonna learn to fly.
She took off to find the footlights,
And I took off to find the sky.
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/h/harry_chapin/taxi.html ]
Oh, I’ve got something inside me,
To drive a princess blind.
There’s a wild man, wizard,
He’s hiding in me, illuminating my mind.
Oh, I’ve got something inside me,
Not what my life’s about,
Cause I’ve been letting my outside tide me,
Over ’till my time, runs out.
Baby’s so high that she’s skying,
Yes she’s flying, afraid to fall.
I’ll tell you why baby’s crying,
Cause she’s dying, aren’t we all.
There was not much more for us to talk about,
Whatever we had once was gone.
So I turned my cab into the driveway,
Past the gate and the fine trimmed lawns.
And she said we must get together,
But I knew it’d never be arranged.
And she handed me twenty dollars,
For a two fifty fare, she said
“Harry, keep the change.”
Well another man might have been angry,
And another man might have been hurt,
But another man never would have let her go…
I stashed the bill in my shirt.
And she walked away in silence,
It’s strange, how you never know,
But we’d both gotten what we’d asked for,
Such a long, long time ago.
You see, she was gonna be an actress
And I was gonna learn to fly.
She took off to find the footlights,
And I took off for the sky.
And here, she’s acting happy,
Inside her handsome home.
And me, I’m flying in my taxi,
Taking tips, and getting stoned,
I go flying so high, when I’m stoned.
Thanks nay I really apptreciate your raw honesty, its bring me a new perspective
I wouldn’t call that destructive on your side…. but yes I’ve been in the same situation too many times to mention.
Nay, I really appreciate your honesty if any man want to say all the things you said in the early stage of relationship it will safe each one time, energy, money and feeling to find their significant other whose willing to spend their rest of my life in a holy matrimony
Women can’t help but to follow the same predictable but destructive pattern.
A woman wants a man she cannot tame for sex, and then a man she CAN tame to raise the child and look after her. Those two things cannot be found in the same man. It’s either one or the other.
Really nay? I didn’t see it that way, don’t you think you could hurt your fraternity if you said this? I thought a man is superior and capable of anything (like my father), but if it so, which one are you?
She needs to be capable, loyal, trustworthy, and respectable… and do things like look after herself, look after me too, do things for me, do the washing ironing, cleaning… you know… add some value to the relationship beyond sex (which as I said, is the default, I can get that anywhere… and I could even go see hookers if I really wanted to)
Wow, look at you isn’t that yourself who think that a woman can only be a sex material or a W(washing) I(ironing) F(f#%king) E(etc) material?
Look at our mother, she could be anything both and I adore her for that
Unfortunately this woman is clearly INCAPABLE of doing anything for herself, and wants to try to *force* me to look after her by taking away my freedom. That really sucks! In fact, I’m not even upset that she dumped me. I’m glad that she did!
Because I’m capable and independent that’s why when he said no, I don’t mind at all, I don’t wanna force anybody even tho I do love him and hurt us so bad (he cried and broken hearted). I thought we’ve had enough to go to the next level but sadly it didn’t work
Bonni said “Thank you Lomboksufer”. This was after I declared my bloody love for her and dedicated taxi. This means we are bloody well back on! Hoot! Hoot! Hoot!
See you in bloody Lomback cintaku and please no more brawling with the Aussie cow gfs of that bleedin wanker you brought to my bloody island or you will be hanging 10 off the bleedin plank on my sail boat after I chummed the waters with his bloody intestines! Think I am a little bit jealous? Damn right I bloody am as I would have paid 200 bloody quid to watched you get popped in that bloody jaw of your’s just to shut you up. That said, I do bloody well worship the ground you walk upon. LOL!
Nay you got trust issues, your over thinking it. Many marriages make it, don’t focus on the ones that don’t. The way i think about it is, personalities make relationships not all women are the same. There is good women there is bad women you just have to know how to choose them. The way i look at it is, i want to find my best friend partner with the same values as me, its not hard just got to know how.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t society suggest that all that is what wives are SUPPOSED to do?
I think you’re right if you live in a conservative society and what society suggest for a husband supposed to do?
If you were really capable and independant, you wouldn’t need to take a man to “the next level”. You could just get pregnant and raise his child — IF you really wanted a child, and maybe if he really wanted to have one too.
I am a capable and independent yet responsible being who don’t want to be a selfish when it comes to my future offspring, how could I let to bring them up as society call ‘anak haram’ or children out of wedlock or any bad names and will be bullied and look down by society till the rest of their life? I don’t have the heart to do that to the apple of my eyes to sacrifice their future just to have my own happiness
Perhaps you should do what I do and be more assertive about what you want from the beginning and find someone who wants the same? Maybe you were scared just to say “I’m looking for a daddy for my baby” or “I’m looking for a husband” before you even decided on a relationship with that man?
Nay, honesty is the best policy that’s what I believe, I always let the man knows from the start what I want, and I don’t want to be mean or heartless but I’ve lost count of how many serious wedding proposal that I have to turned down because I respect married life too much to be bought as a wife or society status symbol or anything but to find the one who I really love to spend the rest of my life with,
It is the reason as to why I’m not married yet
I wish I can choose who I’ll be fall in love with but a can’t fool my heart
I’d like 2 relate my latest ‘love’ of my life’ affair, for all those who ( can ) relate to the fast paced ‘Days of our Lives’ goings on in Indonesia / Bali/ S.E. Asia.
A quick summary of prior goings on;
3 yrs ago, met a vivacious/lovely/ petite early 30’s gal, full of the love of life – everything a guy would wish for in a female & thought she can take my mind & emotions off the now ex-wife & divorce, & I was willing to see where this take’s me. So I jumped into it whole heartedly –lol-( her & the relationship).
After a sex starved,20 yr marriage to a lovely ( semi- frigid ) person who didn’t get it (what a man wants), this was a breath of fresh air.
I knew she had baggage, but who doesn’t? I soon found out she had a hubby & kids in Java & was shacked up with a boyfiend who didn’t initially know of me.
She left the boyfriend & would divorce the hubby when I was able to live permanently in Indonesia, she said. Maybe, I thought, we’ll see when the time comes.
Anyway, a couple of weeks ago when she went back to Java to be with the kids & hubby for 10 days, I met a really hot, super sexy 30 yr old, we had a ball. She took me to a ‘discotek’ one night where only the locals go. I was the only ‘bule’ in the place, with the hottest bird in the place & she was all over me.
‘A’ had returned from Java & I’d told her I was going out for a few hours to meet a mate from home. When I got back at 5am, she hit the freaking roof, having not slept all night. I would make an excuse & go to ‘B’s” house to meet her every day.
When I had to leave Bali a few days later I was in 2 minds as to who it was I wanted to be with.
‘A’ who by now loved me to bits, as seedy & stressful as the past was. Or ‘B’ , the deserted wife ( & now widow ),whose hubby ran off a yr prior, leaving her with 3 kids (he died unexpectedly, a day or 2 before i left Bali.
Anyway I’ve decided on a solution to the problem, I’ll not dump ‘A’, but string her along until ‘B’ proves she is who she portrays herself to be. How/why would I dump A who is the most sexually aggressive person I’ve known (& I’ve known a few who love a gang bang), for someone who is yet unknown, though the signs are very promising. ( ‘B’ won’t let me have ‘it until I dump ‘A’).
My experience of Indonesian women, though not necessarily typical of the average Indo gal, makes me cautious & will tread carefully, guilty until proven innocent.
I love the femininity of Indo women & their smarts,with a touch of naiveté which to me is highly sexual & something rarely found in other cultures i’ve experienced, except maybe at an early age.
I don’t really want to get tied down again, but if A or especially ‘B’ , proves to be the real deal, i could think of worse fates for a guy.
yea, the topic is ‘dating indonesian
girls’ after alll 🙂
thought it was changed in ‘dr. nay’s……….’
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bonni,
* There’s a difference between:-
1) If you don’t join my religion, it doesn’t matter
2) If you don’t join my religion, you’re not getting what you want.
* My “tukang ojek” metaphor is just what I feel like when I have to deal with some Indonesian women. I feel as if they’re trying to rip me off like some AWOL Jakarta taxi driver whose turned the meter off, or some street vendor charging me “bule” prices.
It doesn’t encourage much mutual respect, and makes me a little more determined to try and screw the scammer out of what they want.